#anyway i'm out to a movie tonight so have this bc idk if i'll be writing anything when i get home later lmao | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lainiespicewrites · 1 year ago

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Someone to take her home

Hey guys so I wrote this a while ago! This is a Henry one shot it an OFC because I'll die on the self insert hill! LOL it gives me so much comfort. Is that weird IDK. Anyway this story is kind of heavy. I wrote this to get out some feelings about an SA that I had experienced. I've always been someone that if I'm stressed I rewrite the situation with a comforting outcome or a better outcome to release the stress or make myself feel better. I wanted to sort of write myself a way to get some comfort from the trauma. And I hope having a character like this sweet soft version of Henry may help some of you too. I never reached out for myself for help and maybe I should have but if you experienced something please talk to someone. If you need someone to talk to or just want a place to let it out my DM's are a safe space <3 Just as disclaimer this doesn't mention any of the actual situation that happened to me. Just a filler to get out the emotion. Still this is a fluff with lots of love and sweet gentle young Henry bc I just know in my soul this was and is how he is as a person!

Warnings: Light Cursing, Trauma, Mentions of sexual assault. (Please reach out for help even if it's just talking to someone about your situation. My DM's are open if y'all wanna talk after this <3)

Description: OFC goes to college party and meets Henry and they become fast friends. and he helps her when things turn bad with a guy he warned her about.

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I stared at myself in the mirror one more time. I needed to leave soon. If I looked any longer I would find something I hated and talk myself out of going. So I grabbed my bag and turned off my bedroom light. Nervous didn’t begin to describe how I was feeling. I’d never been to a party like this before. Sure I’d been out a few times in high school. But it was usually theater cast parties. And one time my friend and I stole some captain morgan from her parents liquor cabinet. But this was on an entirely different scale.

Most of my drinking was a night in with the girls with wine or movie night drinking games. God I sound so boring. It’s not that I don’t enjoy partying. I was genuinely excited to be invited out tonight. Lilly and I had worked together for a few assignments in class. And we would say hi when we ran into each other in the dorms. But, I never expected to get a text this afternoon inviting me to her boyfriend's party. Purdue was an incredibly large campus. Upwards of 40,000 plus students. Yet somehow Lilly’s boyfriend Riley Hardesty seemed to know everyone. He was known for throwing huge parties all year. They weren’t exclusive. You could just be driving through the neighborhood and stop in. But she told me a friend of Riley’s had asked her about me.

Matt Parker. I know of him. He’s in my English 204 lecture. But we’ve never talked. But he is really attractive. So maybe something good would come from all of this! I decided just to walk as my dorm wasn’t far from the house Riley and his roommates lived in. It was a cool night in mid october and I was definitely regretting the little black denim skirt I was wearing. I was smart enough to wear a cardigan but it was still cold. Thank God it's only 2 blocks down. I bit my lip nervously. Am I even going to know anyone here? Anyone I actually talk to? It’s too late now. I already got dressed and ready. I walked here. I have to go through with this.

I took a deep breath and walked inside. Things were already full swing. I could hear the music outside before I even opened the door. No one seemed to notice me and honestly I was okay with that. I looked around scanning the room. Almost everyone had a drink in hand, standing around in groups talking. The smell of pot hit me immediately as I started to walk through the house. I wasn’t the least bit surprised. I made my way to the kitchen where I found multiple drinks, alcohol and mixers available. I kept it simple and grabbed a wine cooler. Something fruity. I was definitely going to need a buzz if I was going to be here longer than 5 minutes.

I pushed my way out of the kitchen and found a quiet corner to drink and observe for a while. I was busy listening to some guys talk about last weekend's football game when I heard someone’s voice. And I realized they were talking to me. I shifted my eyes seeing a guy standing next to me. He was maybe 6’1, blue eyes, and brown hair with soft curls. I gave him a gentle smile,

“I’m sorry, what was that?” I asked. He smiled and chuckled softly. His smile was beautiful.

“I uh, Just noticed your shirt. Are you a Def Leppard fan?” He asked. I looked down. I completely forgot that was the shirt I was wearing. I just thought a band t-shirt would look cute with the skirt. But

“Yeah! Well I know a few of their songs! My Mom was in her 20’s in the 80’s and she loved them!” I said.

“She has good taste! They’re awesome! Are you here by yourself? Not trying to be creepy I just noticed you were by yourself over here and I wanted to make sure you were alright,” He rambled. I nodded.

“I look that out of place huh? Yeah, I um. I’m friends with Riley’s girlfriend. Well not friends necessarily. But I know her. Anyway she invited me because of some friend of Riley’s but I don’t know this isn’t normally my scene. Wow that was a lot,” I blushed. “Sorry,” I mumbled.

“For?” He smiled, raising an eyebrow. “We’re talking. I like getting to know people! And I totally get it. This can kind of be a lot sometimes. I actually came with some friends but I needed to step away from all the crazy for a second. I’m Henry by the way.” He smiled, extending his hand. I took it and He squeezed mine softly.

“Alayna!” I said.

“It’s nice to meet you!” He smiled. “Which one of Riley’s friends? If you don't mind me asking,” He raised an eyebrow.

“Matt Parker,” I said bluntly. “You know him,” Henry took a sip of his beer and nodded.

“I do, He’s alright. We’re sort of friends I suppose. He may have good intentions. Listen, I know you don’t need my advice, but just be careful around him. I don’t know what you were expecting with him or hoping for. But he can be a little, well, if I had a daughter I wouldn’t trust him with her. But I could be wrong. I’m sorry, that was a bit much. I don't want to ruin your evening,” He said.

“For?” I smirked copying his face from earlier. “You seem to have pure intentions. Just looking out for someone. That’s really kind of you actually. I honestly don't know what I was expecting. But I can handle myself. I didn’t really come out tonight for him. I wanted to actually let loose and have fun for once. I’ve been trying to have more adventures, meet new people, make new friends.” I smiled looking him in the eyes on that last part. He gave me a big smile and held out his beer bottle to cheers me.

“To new friends,” He spoke and we clinked our bottles together. “I like you, I mean talking to you.” He said.

“I like talking to you too! I was honestly super anxious about coming tonight. I was worried I’d be too anxious and awkward to have fun or it would be too much. Because this is a lot. I’m 100% sure I saw someone do coke off the kitchen counter. But I’m actually enjoying myself. Right now anyway.” I laughed. Henry chuckled.

“Good! Well, I’m going to go find my friends but, what's your number? I’ll send you a text real quick and if you get overwhelmed or uncomfortable or need to escape all of this for a bit come find me! Or text me. I’d be happy to be there for you. And we can just chill out for a while.” I smiled and gave him my phone number. It was nice to meet someone as kind as Henry. You don’t meet a lot of people that… genuine and gentlemanly in places like this. He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze before he walked off to find his friends. I wandered off to get another drink while I was standing in the kitchen waiting to grab another wine cooler. I felt someone lay their arm across my shoulder.

“Hey gorgeous,” I recognized Matt’s voice. I gave him a soft smile.

“Hi,” I spoke.

“I’m glad you came tonight, You having a good time,” He asked, clearly buzzed.

“Yeah,” I said tentatively “One hell of a party!” I laughed.

“For sure!” He smiled and moved to the side of me taking his arm off my shoulder. “What are you drinking babe?” He asked.

“Just Mike's lemonade.” I chuckled awkwardly.

“Aw come on girl you can do something stronger than that huh?” He joked. I shook my head.

“I probably could but I’d rather not get sick.” I said.

“Aw well come on at least do a shot with me?” He asked, giving me a puppy dog face and pouting. “Just tequila, we got training wheels!” He added.

“I don’t know… I don’t wanna get too crazy,” I said.

“Nah, it’ll be alright, it’ll just loosen you up a bit!” He spoke already pouring the shots. He slid one over to me. And a piece of lime. “Ready?” I picked up the shot and stared at it questioningly.

“Alright,” He smiled. We clicked the glasses and hit them against the table before taking the shot. It was super bitter. I immediately followed it with the lime. But it didn’t help much. When I looked up again Matt had gotten me another Mike’s from the cooler.

“Atta girl!” He smirked. He took a step closer and I took the drink from him. Then I heard someone call his name from across the house. They were starting another game of beer pong. “That’s my que babe, but wait for me yeah? I’ll come back to you after this game!” He smirked and left a wet kiss on my cheek before running off to join the boys.

Charming is certainly not a word I would use to describe him. But he’s nice. And he’s just trying to make sure I have fun. There’s no harm in that. I wandered around the party again. I opened up my new bottle and tossed the cap on a nearby coffee table. I thought about watching the beer pong game but I honestly wasn’t interested. I found the door leading to the backyard and saw there was a bonfire going. I stepped outside and found an empty seat by the fire. I watched it crackle for a bit and took a long sip of my drink. I felt a warmth inside me and knew it was coming from the alcohol. I started to relax as I listened to the fire and the white noise of the people chatting around me. It was a gorgeous night.

“Hey!” I heard a voice from behind me. “Funny meeting you out here!” Henry spoke, pulling up a chair next to me.

“Hey!” I said excitedly. “It’s calm out here. I like it!” I said. Henry smiled.

“I do too, I love a good fire. Fuels the soul.” He half joked.

“ I love the smell! Is that weird?” I laughed.

“No,” He chuckled softly “Not at all! So, besides the band on that very cool shirt, What other music do you like?” Henry asked, leaning back in his chair and taking a long swig of his beer.

“Oh all kinds. I’m a big lover of the stuff from the 70s though! Elton John, Heart, the Beatles, I guess they’re technically 60’s. I know it’s kind of old school but. I feel like they just don’t make music like that anymore.” I explained.

“Classic! I like it,” He smiled.

“What about you?” I asked.

“Oh I’m all over the place too. I’m actually a big country fan!” He smirked.

“I wouldn’t have expected that from you but I respect it. It’s not my favorite genre but there are definitely some good ones there!” I smiled. Henry and I chatted for a while. We talked about our majors. He's a history major. Where we’re from, he has an accent but I didn’t want to ask and be weird about it. He told me he’s from the UK. We talked about books, history and our friends. It was nice. A little while later I felt an arm around my shoulder again. I knew it was Matt.

“There she is! Did you think I forgot about you babe?” He asked.

“No,” I smiled blushing softly. He smiled.

“Hey Henry! Are you having a good time, man?” He asked. Henry nodded and finished his beer.

“Yeah! Actually I should go get another one. It was nice talking to you Alayna!” He smiled at me before he got up and left. I don’t know why but I could tell Henry wasn’t the biggest fan of Matt. He said they were friends earlier but I think he was just trying to be nice

I was shaken from the thought when I heard Matt’s voice again.

“Hey, follow me!” He said enthusiastically.

“Okay,” I smiled. I got up and followed him back inside. He led us upstairs and down the hall to what I assume was his room.

“Too many people out there, I wanted to be alone with you,” He smiled.

“That’s really sweet! It is pretty crowded.” I said.

“Yeah,” He said blankly. “Are you enjoying the party?” He asked.

“I am,” I said half telling the truth. I enjoyed talking to Henry.

“God you’re so gorgeous,” He said. “I always want to talk to you in class but you always leave so quickly I never get the chance.” He said.

“Thank you,” I blushed.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked. I don’t know if I wanted it or if it was the alcohol but I nodded. He smirked and leaned in kissing me on the lips. It was gentle at first but then he quickly started using tongue. I felt kind of awkward. So I backed away. “Oh sorry, you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I lied. He just nodded and went back to kissing me. I kissed him back a bit but then I felt him start to feel me up. I froze. I really didn’t want that. He moved his hand under my shirt and I stopped him.

“Uh Matt, I really don’t know about this.” I said nervously. He pulled back

“It’s fine, nobody's gonna come in, don't worry about it.” He said and started kissing my neck. Oh god this sucks.

“No I mean. I don’t… want to do this.” I stuttered.

“Come on, it’ll be fun babe, it’ll be alright.” He kept feeling me up and continued kissing me. I felt stuck. He pushed himself against me, grinding into me. He moaned. I swallowed hard. Fuck, I really didn’t want this.

“No, Matt, I really don’t want to.” I said again.

“Shhh just go with it.” he said, shushing me. “You’ll enjoy it, I promise.” He said, sliding his hand under my skirt and rubbing his fingers against me.

“No, stop Matt,” I said again, my voice quivering. He was definitely stronger than me. He used his other hand to take himself out of his shorts and he grabbed my hand putting it on him while he kept touching me, forcing his fingers inside. It hurt. I don’t know how but finally I found the strength to push him away from me. He stumbled back and fell against the bed and I ran out of the room. I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes already but I had to get out of this house. I quickly ran down the stairs and out the front door. Matt was pretty drunk so I don’t even think he tried to follow me. I walked a little way down the street and stopped letting out a sob. What the hell just happened. How did I let that happen? How could I have been stupid enough to trust him or follow him? I didn’t know what to do. I probably should have headed back to the dorm but I didn’t want to be alone right now. I took to my phone trying to think of who to talk to.

I saw I had a text. It was Henry. “Hey it’s me! Henry I mean lol feel free to text me anytime.” I sent him a quick text taking a deep breath and trying to pull myself together. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I was so stupid. He tried to warn me.

“Hey, it’s Alayna, where are you?” I sent it. To my surprise he responded almost immediately.

“By the fire, You okay?” it read.

“Would you wanna go on a walk with me?” I asked. There’s no way I could go back there.

“Sure :) where are you?”

“On the front sidewalk like 3 houses down toward campus.”

“Be right there!” true to his word about 2 minutes later I saw him walking down the sidewalk toward me.

“How are you?” He asked.

“Good,” I nodded absentmindedly.

“Were you leaving?” He asked.

I um,” I stuttered “Yeah, it was just… too much. I was gonna head home. I feel stupid I was just gonna walk home. I'll be fine, I’ll let you have fun. I don’t wanna interrupt your night.” I rambled.

“No! Please do! I’d be happy to walk you home. Talking with you was the most fun I had tonight actually.” He stated simply. I smiled weakly.

“I’m glad.” I said.

“Are you alright?” He asked me. I sighed trying not to get emotional.

“Yeah, just a little overwhelmed and tired.” I lied. We walked in silence for a bit. I couldn’t believe how kind he was. The fact that he would leave his friends to walk me home. He was genuinely concerned about me. That feeling made me even more overwhelmed and finally after everything I could help but start crying. I felt like I had no control over my body as I started to sob. I felt my shoulders start to shake. Henry stopped and put his hands on my shoulders.

“Alayna what's wrong?” He asked me. I tried so hard to speak.

“He wouldn’t.. And I said… no, but he kept…” it all came out in broken sobs. Henry didn’t say anything. He just pulled me into him and hugged me tightly. After a few seconds. I started to calm down and tried to steady my breathing.

“Shh it’s alright, just breathe.” I heard him say. I slowed my breathing. “Did he touch you?” He asked gently, trying not to upset me again. I couldn’t speak, I just nodded. Henry went stiff. I looked up and saw his jaw was clenched. “Mother fucker,” He mumbled quietly under his breath. Then he spoke louder “Do you want to go talk to someone? Like report it?” He asked. Again his voice was gentle. I shook my head.

“I can’t, I know I should but I really can’t, not now.” I said. He nodded.

“Okay, well let's get you home.” He said. I started to walk again. Henry kept an arm around me as we walked. We were quiet the whole way there. He walked me all the way to the door. Wanting to make sure I got in okay.

“Thank you,” I said. But just as he turned to leave I grabbed his hand. “Wait, please don’t go.” I said, trying not to sound desperate. Not that I had the energy to care.

“You want me to stay?” he asked. I nodded.

“Yeah, no, I .. I don’t .. You don’t have to, I’ll be okay.” I said.

“Hey,” He paused, grabbing my hand. “It’s okay, I don’t mind.” So I took off my shoes and slipped into the bathroom to change into some shorts. I laid in my bed and Henry sat next to me. “Do you want to watch something?” He asked. I nodded. And turned on my TV scrolling aimlessly. I stopped on some old 90’s sitcom.

“Thank you, for staying,” I said.

“You shouldn’t be alone right now. And I meant what I said. I had more fun talking to you tonight than with anyone else.” He smiled sympathetically.

“I did too,” I said. I sat up going to kiss him but he stopped me.

“Not tonight, darling. Believe me I would love to kiss you. But I think you’ll regret it later if you do this now. I like you. I’m not going anywhere. Let's take this slow. You’ve been through a lot tonight. I’ll still be here when you’re ready. But I think tonight you need to rest.” he said. The universe gave me Henry tonight. If I hadn’t ran into him. I’d have been alone after being sexually assaulted by a guy I barely know. Any other guy wouldn’t have treated me like him. He was so gentle and respectful. He was genuinely looking out for my best interest when he could’ve taken advantage of my vulnerability. I just nodded.

“I’m sorry that was stupid.” I sighed.

“No, it wasn’t” he put his arm around me pulling me into his side and I naturally rested my head on his chest. “You don’t need to apologize. Try to get some rest.” He spoke gently. I could hear his heartbeat and my breath slowed to match the rhythm. Eventually so did he. I looked up to find him asleep with his arm still around me. I settled in snuggling into his side. All the noise around me slowly faded away and I finally got to rest, falling asleep in Henry’s arms.

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That’s it you guys please let me know what you think. I love you all so much! You’ve shown my writing so much love 🥰

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1d1195 · 7 months ago

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Aww thank you so much!😭You have no idea how much that means to me!💗

Omg not him getting distracted?!? Bestie that is TRAGIC! I would lose it lowkey bc sadly i get TOO invested when I like something lol But YES I would HIGHLY recommend watching the last two together! I agree Tina’s episode felt more like season 2 vibes and would have probably fit better when she started to take those fancy cooking classes. But we got Richie’s episode which was a WIN for me lol

Bestie of course I will always be rooting for you! And the fact that you're a teacher just makes you even more remarkable! Plus you’re basically in the trenches everyday with those teenagers 😭And of course rooting for you in your personal life!

I saw that you’ve been struggling a bit with part 2 but you’ve managed to get it done! Very proud of you because I can only imagine how it can be a bit frustrating! I know all of us are going to love it!

HAHA omg you’re so REAL for thinking that! I mean he is a MAN after all so I would be surprised if he wasn’t whiny lol

Hope meeting up with your friend went well! And I especially hope that you’ve survived your family because I know it can get ROUGH😭Hope the weather gets better too! I know you basically hate when it’s hot lol

I was pretty busy this weekend! I hung out with friends I haven't been able to see in a while so it was nice to have a break! It’s been so hot recently but It cooled down a bit so we had a picnic! And I actually saw a movie where the main character was named Sam/Samantha! What’s wild though is that we went out for sushi and there was a roll called Sun Kissed and I immediately thought of your fic! I MUST re-read it because it is such a cute little summer fic! ANYWAYS overall it was nice but my social battery was drained lol

I'm wishing you the BEST start of the week! Hope you are treating yourself well! Wishing you all the LOVE BESTIE!!- 💜

BRO I TOLD HIM I WANTED TO WATCH BOTH EPISODES AND HE SAID WE CAN WATCH ONE. I COULD THROW UP. IDK WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM. Anyway. That's a good point about Richie vs. Tina. It would have been greedy to have both. Anyway. I can't tell you how much I love the Faks. My favorite bit so far has been "How many Faks are coming?" "At least 2 less than 5." I just love them so much. Barging into the hospital to see Claire??? 😭😭

Part 2 is done and posted. I'm trying not to hate it since it's only been an hour, it's Monday, and I did write a whole ass dissertation 🤦‍♀️ I can't wait to hear your thoughts if you have time to read it 💕

...he's super whiny tbh... or maybe I'm just conditioned to not want to be whiny because I'm just a girl 😂 if you know what I mean.

It was super nice to see my friend! My fam is this week and not looking forward to it exactly. I went for a walk today in this RIDICULOUS hot humid air. But I do feel better for it. I have another friend meeting tonight so I need to shower again and try to remain cool. It's also Monday so it's my list day hehehehe so I've got that going for me too! I'm also addicted to online shopping and it's Prime Day tomorrow so I gotta get shit for my classroom. So that's what I have for this week! Hopefully I'll have time to read and write too!

OMG so fun! I hope she was a good character. I'm always so sad about Sam/Samantha's in movies and shows--they give me such a bad rap. They're often a 👎 (but not Hilary Duff in A Cinderella Story but that's because Hilary can do no wrong by me). I LOVED sun-kissed. So much summer fun 😂 I've never been a sushi fan, but I love that for you! I'm glad you had a nice weekend with friends even if your battery is drained!

LOVE YOU! 💕

xoxo

#💜

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nathank77 · 8 months ago

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6/14/24

9:40 p.m

It took me awhile to fall asleep. I used the older xanax just to troubleshoot if the newer stuff was fake. I guess not cause if it was- I would have passed out immediately. I slept solidly through the night until 3 p.m. I peeded and then I laid back down and was out until 4:14 p.m without drugs... that's a good thing but I don't like sleeping that late cause I may struggle to sleep tonight.

Anyways I was going to game but I was aggravated and my house is always a hell hole. I have this whole dilemma:

1) I want to finish the attic and the shared closet/my room but not in that order. I want to finish the shared closet. Then my room closet. Then the attic. Cause I want to bring my nicest things down from the attic for clothes and put them in a storage bin on top of my movies storage bin and my blanket storage bin which I want an extra set of sheets and an one extra pillow top mattress cover for when I inevitably spill juice on my bed which is fairly common and the later I do it at night I can't wash it and I have to sleep on a towel. So I'm going to buy a pillow top mattress cover. Not extra sheets I'll ask for that for Christmas. Wash it and put it in the storage bin in the shared closet.

2) The dilemma is I want to join the gym Monday but- if I join before I get all this stuff done it will become a tedious project and I'll be hellbent on using my very expensive gym membership bc I'm joining at the wrong time of the year. If I joined January 1st or something it would be a 1$ start up fee instead of a 60$ start up fee.

I don't want to lose my fire for either things bc it's coming to a head. The true dilemma is that the gym is going to be 70$ to start out of pocket Monday if I joined.

I want to keep buying l salivarius. I want to give cbd one more month. I want to get storage bins so I can continue my organization. I want to buy that pillow top mattress cover. And I'd really like to buy a microfiber queen sized blanket as a comforter... I have one already and I would swap them... put the old one in the storage bin in the closet with the old pillow top mattress cover as a spare.

The dilemma really is money and how I spend it and energy. Yea I can go Monday to the gym and swipe my card and start working out but then I'm out a decent amount of money and I still got to pay for the annual fee two months later.... and then I can't really afford the storage bins... I can't really afford the pillow top mattress cover or the microfiber blanket... it would be nice to have a spare washed and conveniently put away in the shared closet..

So idk what to do. I ended up cleaning out our shared closet. I put all the water bottles in a huge box. I got out 3 old comforters that were on the floor and put them in that box. I threw away a bunch of drinks. The closet is CLEAN! but not done yet.

I already have two storage bins thanks to Katie. One clear smaller one without a top unfortunately but with movies and one large gray one with those waters. I had to clean the water one out with antibacterial stuff cause a soda busted in there. I cleaned that out. Put my movies in there and they fit much better so that's done.... I'm happy with it.

Then I grabbed the storage bin my sister provided me from the basement and used antibacterial spray on it and put the blankets in it. I still got to wash the blankets and I may throw out a few in order to fit the old pillow top mattress cover when i get a new one and the old microfiber blanket when I get a new one. There are def a few blankets in there I wouldn't feel bad about throwing out... but I didn't have time to wash them yet, that's a later activity..

I have the clear bin without a top on top of the blanket storage bin. It has virtually nothing in it but I felt the need to "set it all up" so my mother didn't take over the nice space I created. I absolutely plan to buy the smaller clear storage bin and grab the nicer clothes from the attic basically only what I just put up there, my old medium boxers, the shorts and pj pants and the old shirts with coconut oil stains. They are all nice stuff and once I get the stains out they are wearable..

So this is my updated list. I feel accomplished and below that is what the closet looks like now. I got to figure out if putting the gym off and spending extra money on the bins and blankets make sense. Now that I have an almost perfect set up just lacking the clothes, the lid, and the extra bedding, it's like I want to do that but I can't do the gym and that. I got to figure it out.

Imma wait on my sister to get me more storage bins for free. I can buy them from Walmart but Walmart will only ship the clear smaller ones for free otherwise its store pick up... my car can't fit them.... so me and my sister have to go grab some in her truck.. whenever she will work with me on that.. I'd at least buy a few for the attic.. to get that going.

I mean I could benefit from 2 or 3 of the clear bins. One for the shared closet for my clothes. One for stuffed animals like from my childhood up in the attic prob the one without a top... but I mean- I really need the huge ones. I like that they are clear but they lack the space to be worth the money honestly.

So yea I'm over here going if I spend all this money between l salivarius and the blanket, the pillow top and a few clear storage bins/the larger ones... not to mention cbd next month when I get paid-i have to put the gym off.

Also energy wise even if I had the money I don't have the energy to start fitting in the gym and doing all this stuff around the house...

Erin won't be a therapist anymore in July... so my time will really free up... I will try to get on Mike's schedule two days a week and then I can really fit the gym in even with this amount of stuff left to do... I'm not going to bother looking for another therapist cause I'm a voice hearing trans person. I'm done with the rejection.

But yea, I wish I could join the gym, buy all this stuff and have the money. I wish I could do both the gym and finish this project without worrying about putting one off... if I spend all that money on the gym, I can't not commit. That's the thing. Part of me is like wait until January. If I don't kill myself... all these new years resolutions... it's always 1$ start up new years.. but I mean I've plateau weight wise and those skinny jeans will not fit if I don't go...

I got a lot to think about. Should I keep buying 100mg of cbd? Should I keep buying l salivarius when it can be so good for someone with gum disease despite its cost? Should I forget about the dentist until my annual instead of calling Husky and paying out of pocket which I can't really afford for a 6 month cleaning and give up on my brown stained tooth and just do whitening strips in January? Should I finish my house projects while I'm motivated before I join the gym when money is going to be an issue? Should I say fuck the attic and go to the gym?

Idk..money is tight. I want organization. I want the stuff that didn't get destroyed to stay not destroyed. I want that clear storage bin with my nicer clothes to stay down here with me. I want the extra blanket and I def NEED the extra pillow top mattress cover cause I'm a spiller and I'm stuck in my room 24/7. I spilled tea on my bed 2 night ago and had to sleep in a wet spot.

If I put off the gym I got one pair of jeans. If I go to the gym, I will spend 59$ more on a start up fee and my house projects will come to a screeching hault bc for one I can't buy the storage bins. For two I'm going to use all my energy going to the gym and on the days I don't go I won't want to do anything. Once I don't have Erin as a therapist and I figure out what day Mike can see me my schedule will clear off a little making the gym easier to fit in...

Money will never be easy... the closer i get to January the more I think 1$ start up fee... saving 59$ that I could spend on stuff I need makes sense but I really want my body to be the best it can be.

What should I do? Idk. Even buying all this stuff on credit will be tight but it's on credit and as long as I don't do glasses (that's never happening), and I don't do the 6 month teeth cleaning and I put off my gym membership.. I mean I can do that. I can do the gym but I can't swipe my card on the stuff I want to buy.

Do I need l salivarius right now? Nope but it makes sense to put it on the 100$ no interest if paid off in 6 month thing with all the storage bins.

So yea that's where I am. This is what I have left to do. And I'm confused but the shared closet although not finished is in a finished state just missing the lid and the clothes from the attic but I'll do that another day.

Idk if I'm doing the car wash tomorrow. Idk If I'm going out for a chicken tomorrow. Dads house on Sunday is stressful and I have to drive all the way over there... gas money. Money issues constantly and bc I didn't really relax at all today- maybe I should tomorrow. I'm overwhelmed.

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baekhvuns · 1 year ago

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Omg yes ofc I'm reading remarried empress and I HATE her previous husband, but glad he did what he had to Bcz then navier wouldn't HV met our Heinrey!! AND WHY DOES THE EX HUSBAND LOWKEY LOOK LIKE SEONGHWA ?!?! 😭 OR AM I GOING INSANE?

Ngl i always love these types of tropes and i rmr writing one where we have two couples but instead they fall for each other's significant other. Idk it was funny and also a lot drama was instilled too.

AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HEINREY WHAT AN ABSOLUTE GENTLEMEN! A MASTERPIECE! HIS PARENTS DEF MADE HIM OUT OF LOVE (if thts not the case then this remark didn't age well) AND HE IS A BIRD?!?!?! 😭 and navier named him queen 😭😭 Duke Kauffman looks like mingi 😭 (imma say it, HEINREY reminds me of blonde San or Yeosang, fr) ok I've been thinking....does Heinrey have a degradation kink....

imma make a list of how I think the characters in this manga remind me of Ateez

Soveiushu reminds me of hwa

Heinrey reminds me of San

Heinrey's blue haired company (idk his name yet) reminds me of Hongjoong

And Duke Kauffman reminds me of mingi

And Laura is the 2D representation of me.

DUKE ERGI IS WOOYOUNG YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND?!?!?

and I was also going thru the comments of president's Escape and people find them TOXIC?!?! ....if they're considered toxic I wonder what they consider non toxic...

Anyways NO YES THT IS THE EXACT REPRESENTATION OF ME AND MY DAD 😭 so I am the youngest and I hv an older sister and an older brother, my sister is the the eldest, so my dad obviously gives his daughters much love, not that he leaves my brother behind but we're kinda his favourite 🤧 and my mom is completely biased towards my brother. But when we unite, we make fun of each other so much-

Like yesternight, my mom wasn't home, she had a few things to take care of so all of us had a blast, well just me and my brother my sister was busy studying, and gorl was it fun, we watched Lockwood and co, and some Silly other series just to laugh over while munching on snacks, we literally slept at three 😭

A CEO fic, titled as Chanel no 5

.......and you've been hiding this gem 😧

Istg when thts released ill ascend ASCEND TO HEAVEN! SO YOU BETTER BAEKS! I mean Seonghwa's whole aesthetic was made for CEO tropes like-

Ayeee ik kai ain't leaving and I'm all here for it! But it makes me wonder if kai is like the whole cupid in the series....dude is kai the creator of the universe? 😦 like I can't keep up with these lores and I bet I'm spouting nonsense rn, but like what if he created the whole universe and he is the god 😭 I'm def spitting nonsense I should shut up

Yes the only rent I'll ever be ahead on is for baekhvunsland 🙌 omg we should like make a flag and also make a chant for our cute little queendom 😭

I'm glad ur Better yes i will take care of it like I hv a child I promise 😭 OMG I HAVEN'T REACHED TILL THOSE CHAPTERS WAIT IM GONNA SPEEDREAD TONIGHT 🔥🔥😤 DAMN NAVIER'S BROTHER ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A WIFE? (again if he's married then this remark didn't age well)

Omg the bl tht I hv been reading 😭 the recent chapter was so wholesome, so haebom (Balck haired guy) gets into a fight, well not him but some villagers ask him to sell of half of the village for the construction of a new city which he did not like so the men start to yell at him and sung ho (the single dad) who was at a day care centre (haebom drove him there) goes out and sees what's happening AND HE HELPS HAEBOM OUT 😭 AND LOOK AT THE BABY

IM CRYING PPL EVEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO CALL HER UGLY 😭 she looks like she was ready to fight!!

hello omg this is a day late im so sorrybfkwhdwk

GIRL I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH BUT HES SO HOT 😭😭😭 UR RIGHT STOP EVERYTIME I SEE HIM I SEE SEONGHWA AND IT MAKES ME MAD BC I HATE THE DUDE AND NOW I ASSOCIATE HIM W HWA 😭😭😭😭

omg???? wait there’s actually a movie on this exact plot and it was so controversial fbwkhdks

HEINRY IS FHKQHDWK OH MY GOD SCREAMING CRYING BEST BOY THANK U TO MY MAN BIG BOY EVERYTHING EVER very much my type this was actually a very disrespectful realization i had reading the webtoon <3 HIS PARENTS PUT ALL THEIR LOVE IN HIM IM SO GLAD THEY DIDNT USE A PROTECTIONBFKWHK AND A BIRD 😭😭 I LOVE A TROPE LIKE THIS imagine seonghwa but his shifting animal is a panther.

he absolutely does have a degradation kink. his wife’s an empress (DOUBLE EMPRESS) theres no way he’d be born if he didn’t like a women who has him WRAPPED around her finger. if he was irl, id rob this man of navier

hienry as san….oh my god, that’s LITERALLY HIM

STOP THATS LITERALLY THE BEST CASTING FJKWHDKW WE NEED THIS IRL !!!!!! ERGI IS LITERALLY WOOYOUNG KFKWJDKAH

LMFAOOOO THATS SO CUTE 😭😭😭 U AND UR DAD BESTIES 4LYFERSSS 😭😭 crying this is a scene from a fic omg,, i can relate bc today i fell up the stairs and my dad came laughing </3

ive been hiding it for years this was a draft from 2021 originally AND HES SO INTIMIDATING IN IT I WILL PASS OUT ON SPOT FBKQBDKW CEO X FAKE DATING AUS???? PRIV SECRETARY X CEO BFKQHDKW STOP THOSE PHOTOS HWVE ME SCREAMING

wait did u just create a theory even i didn’t think of 😳 CHAERSSSS HELLO ???! a chant for baekhvunsland but it’s all about seonghwa 😭😭😭

PLS READ IT I KNOW U ALREADY MAY HAVE HOW ARE WE FEELING ABT THEMFBJWDW I DESPISE RASHTA SHES LIKE A RASH THAT WONT GO AWAY AND NOW COPYING NAVIER???? 🔫

WHY ARE THEY CALLING THE BABY UGLY GNAKHDKW LOWKEY BUT ITS SO CUTE W THE BONET THING 😭😭😭😭 this bl gets more fun every time u mention it, tell me more <3

#✉️ : ask #[ chaerssss ]

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temporarymoods · 1 year ago

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almost october

[seething]

i tried a quiche today, at a cafe clearly customer-ed by rich people. i couldn't quite place why the baristas were like, colder than normal, but after a couple minutes of surveying their patronage i was like oh.. yeah. :( this is not the scene i'm used to!

anyway, it's night now. and you won't believe the set-up in my room. little context first: my congestion has been crazier than normal, sinuses just all out of whack, nostrils closing and opening at will. the left nose hole was like, dry today or something, so the corresponding left back of my throat was sore this evening. idk the actual cause and effect here, but maybe someday soon i'll educate myself on the anatomy of it all. anyway, i have too many important things happening over the next couple of days and i can't get sick or have any pestulancies (made-up word)!! since i had already steam-bathed myself over a cup of tea post-homemade-fish-taco-dinner, and it was kind of nice, i had some empirical evidence supporting the idea that adding moisture to my air & sleeping in that for hours would make a kind of difference, so, time to bust out the humidifier! but then-- the air purifier. hmmm, you see i wake up and sneeze every morning because of fucking dust or something idk. mold?! so i've been living with my new baby as we know...but would it dry out my new air? has it been? all thoughts i've had in the last 20 minutes. anyway, i go to fill up my humidifier with water, bam, she's working right away. i put her next to my bed and turn to the air purifier at the foot of my bed, turn it on. WHY IS IT READING AT 100?! oh mygod she turned on and boom numbers start flying up. what?! its normally at like...1. maybe 002. but we flew past the 70s into the 90s and past 100?! (don't ask me what it's measuring, idk, but number bigger = badder) so i was shocked! i ran her last night, with really no need! steady low numbers, even with/after candle burning. then wasn't in my room all day! maybe left my door open for a moment this evening... so that's an unsolved mystery. but i think ugh maybe the humidifier is too close to my bed, i don't want to get wet dirty air. so the two machines are now both at the foot of my bed, sharing the rug <3 sisters <3 so cute <3 and i am well taken care of. thank you, machines! please keep me healthy! (lol just realized the mug of tea i made a while ago is also still quite warm because of my electronic mug hahaha. that's so chic)

that was a lot of dumbness. but it excites me. what else. i had a proper adventure today. so much was inspiring me and filling my bucket i just had to write it down at the beginning of my afternoon class. let's take a look at the notion, shall we?

here's the translation:

i saw a young child at thinking cup newbury. we vibed. tweeted about it. go check (there's a secret passageway on here)

self-explanatory, also, i was there for a rent check

self-explanatory, 2 toast and a sauce please

first quote me staring convo, second quote dude whose smile made my day saying bye; support UFCW !! they gave me a sticker & a pin :D

just checking in...doing my rounds................garnering intel....

same thing.......let a girl be......

wanted to remember this bc it felt like i was on a streak of kindness from strangers :)

self-explanatory, second point true asf

saw a rifle for the first time in a long time! turns out i can recognize that hint of white taped wood anywhere

so that's what i did. what was i thinking tho? good question. got a list for that too.

been watching a lot of movies recently. finished she's the man tonight, actually. weird as fuck, like straight up. if i did star ratings it would only get 2

coming soon :0

didn't yet (pay my credit card. lmao)

new wes anderson flick

also for my watchlist, thanks sapphic twitter

10 year pure heroine anniversary, was gonna tweet about it

coming soon :0

paper i want to read, taken from paper i read about south dakota native american abortion politics in 2006

god. when does she stop making lists...never.

silly

thinking i would

got too many eggs, want sweet treats, mad scientist therapy, etc.

secret (i want a way to store my homemade salad dressings)

pillies

so i've got a lot going on, internally and externally. big woo. have to get up so early tomorrow-- i shouldnt be up right now-- to go to a catholic training about protecting god's children, mandatory for before i begin tutoring writing once a week at an in-need private school. awkwarrddd for the church! (it's about child sexual assault prevention.) curious to see how they approach the subject. but its early as fuck and a 20 minutes drive away. watching pretty little liars right now though and the two cunty moms are discussing divorce and dating again, lmfao. this show cracks me up. i told the elevator pitch version of my parents' divorces story today, only to realize i hadn't really talked about it in a while. a long while. not something i think about, those couple of months. shit was kind of...idk. don't think i have the right word.

i should get goinggg now. i know!! such a shame. isn't it so fun to read all these details?! it's fun for me to write them. i want to remember somehow.

w/ love & sustained interest in life, talk soon, about teaching, and other things, Kate

p.s. i've been taking some pretty pictures, will share soon xo

#nice #sweet #lime #lists #wip #untilnexttime

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