#anyway i'll be posting the audio from this show tonight or tomorrow probably

[opera-ghost]

thoughts on march 1, 2023 evening phantom performance

the opening line of my notes on this is literally "julia was amazing, ben was on point! paul was there."

i'm so sorry i just don't like his raoul, he seems really bored during think of me and annoyed during the rooftop scene- two points where he just fell really flat for me. him and julia don't have a ton of chemistry either so it's kinda a perfect storm if you're a phantom/christine fan

i could NOT stop watching ted keegan during hannibal, his reactions were entertaining and he actually encourages elizabeth welch's princess to volunteer for carlotta's role after she leaves. it was just really fun to try and look out for the various characterizations from the ensemble

there was a point in angel of music where the white robe thing got caught on julia's hannibal skirt so it didn't fan out to make the white dress she wears for the first lair. it was still caught when she got up from her seat, but then at the end when polly baird and her held hands, polly very subtly pulled the robe for her and it fell halfway, then fell fully into place a few seconds later. this really does not matter but i find little variations like this really interesting so i'm writing this for the one person out there who likes that stuff too :)

some laughter during the STYDI crawl. i've said it before and i'll say it again, i will live and die by this moment. i can't describe to you the intense joy i got when i first saw jeremy stolle do the crawl live in december- it was so creepy and pathetic, i immediately became obsessed. so yes, even though ben's crawl looks a bit funny comparatively, i will still defend it till my dying breath

kanisha was funny to watch during sitzprobe, her mouth fell open in shock when carlotta was insulting the don juan score. her ensemble character is overall very feisty and i love it

let's talk about ben's PONR. this man was SUFFERING. like hyperventilating, panting, shoulders rising and falling with his chest with such intensity while julia sang her verse and he was on the bench. his fingers were moving so much, he had his palms facing up the entire time so he didn't grip his knees/the robe (thinking about franc d'ambrosio.......) which is really a shame BUT he's still so good. when julia went to feel his mask up at the end of the number (fuck you new PONR blocking), he kind of threw up his hands from his lap in a "you've gotta be kidding me" gesture or like "really? now?" and it was hilarious. he did something similar and threw his hands up a bit when she unhooded him too. these two moves weren't something he did the second night i saw him, so it was an interesting choice i guess? idk the best way i can describe his PONR is just "feral"

not as devastating a final lair as the next night with ben and emilie, but this final lair was pretty good too. when julia said the "please raoul it's useless" line, she had an emphasis on "useless" and said it like an insult, while looking at ben with a kind of frustration. ben's second "i love you" seemed really hard for him to get out which killed me, and he sobbed into the veil too (just less audibly than the 3/2 show). i could probably jog my memory with more notes about this part but i genuinely can't find the emotional strength to put myself through it again

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

[imgonnabehonest]

[EDIT: AUDIO TRANSCRIPTION] Personal log 08 03 22. Oh, well that's something to talk about now, too. Huh, okay. So, I had to look up the format for the introduction to do this because- one (1), as you may have noticed, this is a video; not a text post. And two, the last post I made was in April, uhh- so not that long ago. I was working at L'Arte already, okay. It's terrible, thank you for asking, planning to quit very soon. Actually planned to tell them I was planning to quit tonight. Didn't, maybe we'll do that tomorrow. We'll see, it'll come up. I'm giving them more than two weeks anyway, so I can really- I'm being nice.

Um, let's see. Making this a video post because my phone is fucked. There have been green lines going down just slightly to the right of the middle. Um, actually right where where my right eye- the side with more hair- is now, two giant lines. Uh, and also touch sensitivity over there is not great, so typing is a pain in the ass. Hence the video. Alright, I guess there's not much to report, L'Arte sucks, I'm planning to quit very soon. And will take downtime between jobs if I can have it, because I haven't had a vacation since December. Which I mean yeah, Tara will tell you she fucking worked 180 days in a row or whatever once, I don't care. That's her. Good for her. I don't want to do that. That's the fucking reason I'm quitting L'Arte in the first place, that's not me, I don't want to.

And um, I really hate talking I usually write these out for a reason. I don't want to make this a long video because those are annoying to upload. Maybe I'll transcribe this at some point. Could've just written it out on my computer, that would've been a smart move. But I couldn't write it out on my computer because I was watching Malcolm in the Middle. So obviously, what made sense was for me to stop watching so I could record this video of it.

Oh, anyway, so the real reason I wanted to make the post, um, I got real excited because I felt like I ate a lot today, like consistently, at good times throughout the day. Then I went through and I thought about what I ate and I came to how many calories that was and I looked up how many calories I should be eating just to maintain my current weight and I was about 150 short. I don't feel hungry. Um, I'm comfortable saying this stuff out loud because Mom and Dad are sleeping together again, that's really fucked up to think about. I want out of this fucking house.

And, Danny is- it's weird calling him Danny when he's not here. Even though it's really just me. No one sees this blog. I might show him eventually. Because you know, he's not like fucking some people who'll just go through it and then bring shit up and not even tell me where it's coming from. God, I can't believe I dealt with that for that long. Anyway- ooh, there's no delete on this. that's interesting, I've been uh, looking around at therapists a little more too. I need that, I've been in real bad shape lately. Probably looking at some kind of medication because, I don't know, fucking anxi- temper. I throw fucking tantrums at every little thing. And I don't know, I'm a fucking adult, I shouldn't do that. So thanks for listening I guess, we'll see if I can even upload this. Maybe this'll get trimmed and it'll be like six videos, I don't know. Thank you, good night.