#anyway i think ppl forget that like. ppl can do bad and shitty things w/o being bad and shitty people

[radiaking]

i imagine that both coop and barb liked to keep work at work. and there is in fact evidence to support this theory, mainly in the scene where coop tells henry on the phone that barb doesn't like to take work calls in the evenings and hangs up. i do not think this is something coop would do if that 1) weren't true or 2) barb didn't tell him to say that (even if that's not true/as in she like screens work calls and just wouldn't want them from an assistant lmfao). the fact that she does not say anything about this when she then immediately walks into the room and he tells her about the call would also suggest that this is an agreed upon thing/boundary barb has re: work that coop is aware of and respects, etc.

anyway. my point is idt it would seem weird at all to coop if barb didn't talk about work much at home. he wouldn't find this suspicious. in fact, he finds it very odd and unusual when she is wearing one of the pip-boys at home. this is New behavior from her. and i think vault-tec higher ups are basically directly responsible for the blurring of this line that occurs when barb enters coop's workplace not just as his wife but on behalf of vault tec. how she jokes about it being 'practically the family business'

i'm not saying this wasn't or couldn't be some sort of insidious behavior on barb's part (tho we know how i feel about villainizing barb/making her into some Big Bad manipulative bitch when absolutely nothing suggests that) to further ensnare coop into dealings w/vault-tec in hopes that perhaps he also would feel like he was in too deep to back out, but i don't think so. i think she was just pressured to deliver something that would guarantee her a spot in that management vault where her and her family would be safe.

but you can tell she's uncomfortable w/this. and that this is new for her too. but her work has become too personal to her now. her work directly affects the safety of her family, she can't not bring that home with her. she can't not let it infect her every waking thought. vault-tec is a disease and she's caught it.

[littlebabycrybtch]

ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. �� ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.

[yumenosakiacademy]

metr0con 2019 thursday diary

Cosplayed: tsuka-sa suou, summer uniform, w my burger king crown n my leo sign. Breakfast: ramen. Snack: none, but i did bring a package of poptarts.

This is for future me, so i’d prefer if ya didnt read but i mean. w/e.

Okay so.. I had a crappy morning and I only slept for 2 hours BUT! Con tiiiime! I got there and arrived at the hetalia panel a few minutes late but that's okay, it wasn't by many. I remembered I asked sealand during truth or dare n he said dare n I asked him to reenact his favorite fortunate dance n he was like "oh I've been waiting for this" or smth and later, I asked him how his gamer youtube channel was doing n america was like “oh dude i was ur 5th subscriber!!” n sealand was like “subscribe to me plss” n america was like “dont forget to like n subscribe. n receive notifications.” n someone dared canada to b as loud as america n she yelled when they said “be as loud as you were when u lost to russia in hockey”. at another part, someone asked america if she would rather never eat fast food again or save sealand from falling into a volcano n she hugged sealand n said “my lil bro!”. someone dared america to speak in proper english and she was all “oh pip pip cheerio” and mocking england haha

at the end of the panel, a girl came up to me n she said she liked my costume n i was like “!! r u into ES??” and they said “almost” or like. kinda or smth but they took my picture n i felt so happy gjhns

OKAY then i tried to go to the adventure t!me sing-along n q+a panel but they only did truth or dare for a few minutes n im not big into AT anyway so i wasnt rly having fun then they decided to start the singalong when they got the wifi working via someone turning on their hotspot but i had a bad throat so i just left the panel and then had abt 4 hrs to walk around! aw jeez, right?

while on my walk i saw a riku n got their pic n i was like “male idols unite hell yea” n we talked for a bit n they were talkin abt a boy idol series they had heard abt called dank!ra n i mentioned i had also heard abt that! i also came across someone who said they liked my costume or knew who i was (someone in a red beret) n we were talking abt ES n i was like “best boys go” n they said shu and i think keito n i was like “chiaki n mika.. theyre baby” n they were like “ryuse!ta! n rabitz r the most baby in ES” n i was like “oh dude those r my fav units.....” at some point, i saw kuro again!! i saw them but was too shy then later they spotted me as i walked past them n went “tsukasa!!” n i turned around n i was like “erin!!!” n i hugged them n the beret person was there too bc they were their friend apparently and kuro said they were just gonna b kuro for thursday (they were cosplaying summer uniform!kuro like they did in a previous yr) n they just wore it cuz they were hot n went “summer uniform solidarity” (bc i was summer uniform!tsukasa) n we fist bumped and i was digging around my shirt pocket to show them my souma keychain n they were like “oh dude u reaching into ur pocket reminded me i need to get smth from my pocket. i hav Fangs” n they put on costume fangs! eventually they started looking at jojo figures at the stall we were next to n we eventually parted.

at some point, the person running the itabag booth (theyre an ES fan, i kno. their site has ens-tars itabags in the examples gallery n they cosplayed ES last yr) saw me n went “ousama!” bc of my sign n i went over n they were like “guess what ia ctually got to meet arashis va last week” n i was like “RLY??” n they were showing me their arashi itabag n they were like “yea i got to shake his hand n everything aaa. n during his talk/panel (?) i kept showing off my arashi stuff as if to say “I LOVE ARASHI” n i was like “arashi is best knights member.. ara-nee............”

at some point my crown fell off while i was on the escalator? i tried to go back for it but it was gone in the Minute it took me to ride te up escalator? i assumed someone took it to wear but kenyan said someone mightve thrown it away..

i went to metro night live n it wasnt all that funny?? idk what to talk abt from it. they did a “luigi being a gamer” video series n one of them was him playing hotl!ne miami (not knowing it was violent) n he was like “ive never been to florida but i guess this is a game to simulate it!” n it said “proloogue: the metro” n he was like “oh like the convention!” n when the mask selection came up he was like “oh look we can even cosplay!” n he went thru the door n saw one of the mafia members n went “look! a congoer! hello- oh” n accidentaly shoved one of the guys down n he was like “can i help you up-” but then the character (jacket) smashed the guys head in w the button press n luigi went “....o-oh. uh-” and some of the other games were fortnite n he played a violent game n he was like “THERE IS NO GOD HERE NOW” or w/e. they also had an “Edgelords anonymous” skit in which reaper was a new member of the group but it ended w ruby r0se describing brutal ways to kill people (while listing em cheerily) n the others being disturbed n alucard ending the session.

at 7 i had nothing so i walked around. then when 8 hit, i was gonna go to Whose Line Is It Anime but apparently its time had been changed to 7 pm?? the 8 in “8:00-9:00 pm” was scribbled out in sharpie on the schedule board in front of the room n it said 7 pm but now that i think abt it.. i think they meant 7-9 pm. ....shit. oh god damn it. anyway i got sad n left then since it was kinda empty/slow bc it was nighttime, i sat down on a wall thing to open up my sougo plush keychain n some guy next to me started talking to me abt my nails and we got ot talking n apparently he had wanted to go to the dealers room but didnt kno they closed @ 8 n he was here w friend n only had a single day pass bc he had work the other days (his name was spencer) so he was just lounging and i suggested he tell his friends what he wanted n they get it for him if they hav weekend passes n asked if he knew abt the game room n he said no so i invited him to go play smash w me so we went but couldnt figure out how things worked bc there were many consoles n screens w games, but mosst had no controllers but it turns out u borrow the contollers w ur con pass! kenyan was there running the controller borrower table. he said “psst” bc he saw me n i ws like “kenyan!!!” n hugged him n he was like “hows ur weekend going dear” n i said not that great but only bc it was thursday! also my throat hurt” n he was like “did u drink?” n i was like “well.. i have water but..” n he was like “drink juice. it’ll help. that’s what ur dad wwould say” (he woukdnt) anyway we got our controllrs and started playg smash n i went, in order: joker, robin, chrom, bayonetta, greninja n he was teaching me how to play w the gamecube controller (im used to a wiimote) n he beat me every time but i had fun!

after that i was GONNA go to the v-ld panel but i looked inside while walking by n there werent many ppl so i said “okay lets go to the BB panel then. take a look” so i went in there n there were a TON of ppl anyway it was kind of boring bc im not big on murder mysteries n stuff but apparently someone solved it by saying ciel slipped n fell, no one murdered him. then they did the raffle n i didnt win but thats okay! most ppl left after the raffle ended n q+a started n i couldnt hear many ppls’ questions anyway so i was bored n thought of goint to the vl-d panel but ended up not but w/e! oh! also everyone received candy at the beginning of the panel n i ahd a mystery lollipop n it turned out to b birthday cake flavor! id never had that before. it was Good.

after that i was just wandering around n i called dad to startdriving there but the ciel i asked for a picture of, them n their friends were gawking at my nails ns tuff n one of the teens’ dads was like “how do ya pick ur nose w it??” but after that, as i was wandering around, the gundam id sen earlier that day saw me n waved n i said oh hi n went over n they (it was them n an izuru) were like “wanna hang out w us for a while?” so i was like “oh. shoot. id luv too but im waiting for my dad to pick me up” n theyw ere like “it’s okay we can just hang out til then, then, if ya’d like” so i hung out w them n the gundam was talking abt how earlier, a mukuro complimented them on their outfit n they returned the compliment n went to leave n the mukuro was like “uumm arent u gonna hang out w me? we’re from the same series n all” n they were like “not w that f***in attitude” n i was like “did ya rly say that?” n they were like “yea. ppl dont expect me ta hav attitude” n we also talked abt piercings n how i said they seemed cool n goth (the gundam had a nose ring n the izuru had a piercing near their mouth) but how it must hurt n they said it just feels like a pinch. at some point i roled over my bag so my sougo wouldnt get dirty n the izuru saw my rei button n mentioned smth abt only findin one rei button at the idol table n i was like “UR INTO ES???” n they were like “i just kno undead n a few other characters. like [points @ my leo sign] i kno him” n i went “he’s dumbass supreme” n the gundam was talking abt getting the rythm game n i was like “jut read the stories on the wiki the game is boring imo” n the izuru backed me up by saying it wasnt a rhythm game n a lil while later, i showed them the 2 cool rei cgs n i was like “big sexe” n they agreed but the izuru had said theyd seen the croassroads one i showed em (the first of the 2) n the gundam said they wnted to cosplay bloody banquet rei (the other cg i showed em) n the izuru said they wanted to cosplay them All gjhnsm i showed them ryu-seitai too n showed them undead n gundam showed an interest in adonis! we also talked abt k!n stuff n all that! im not gonna go into detail on that (esp bc it’s so late rn as im typing!) but gundam was like “i dont trust junko k!n. like, evreyone else, yea, but junko? no. or like, any other character that’s just so irredeemably shitty”. oh they also talked abt this one messy, ugly, tangly junko wig they found for $300 which shouldnt have been that much n it was just a mess of tangles. anyway t’s getting late oh gosh. anyway they said they’d b on the lookout for me tomorrow so we can say hi again! 

random fun fact: SO many ppl complimented my nails today gjhnsm