#anyway i reread this post like three times to make sure it makes sense because i'm illiterate <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[onboardsorasora]

I made a random post a few weeks ago about Daniel needing to have an existential crisis over a grey pube hair (if I find it I'll link). Weeks later @yesloulou made this post and I was immediately compelled all over again.

Dedicating this brain rot to @arturleclerc. I hope you enjoy it💕 (also I haven't reread it so hopefully it makes sense and is actually good. If it's not good we can pretend it didn't happen lmao)

Max paused in the doorway of their bedroom, eyebrows pulling to his hairline the longer he watched Daniel turn this way and that in front of the full length mirror. 

Naked. 

“Uhm, Daniel?” He asked, biting back his grin when Daniel jumped in surprise and slapped his hand over his dick to cover it. 

“Jeepers Maxy.” Daniel held his chest. 

Max tilted his head when Daniel’s eyes strayed back to the mirror. He never took Daniel to be the ‘check himself out in the mirror naked’ type. Considering he hadn’t seen him do it once in the entire time they’ve been dating. 

Daniel furrowed his brow as if annoyed before grabbing a pair of shorts from his drawer, what he had attempting to do in the first place. 

“What are you doing?” Max asked again, walking further into the room. 

“Nothing babe— can’t a guy check himself out? Still good looking, hot, sexy.” Daniel replied, Max knew him long enough to clock his uncomfortable babbling. 

“Are you looking at your gray hairs again?” Daniel had been weird for the last week, ever since Max pointed out a couple grey hairs that had started growing in his beard. 

Daniel stilled and unconsciously glanced at himself in the mirror again. He didn't look any different than he did a minute ago but clearly time and his age were catching up to him. He was 34, 35 this year. And greying.

Sure his job was stressful. Sure the last three years of his career were particularly stressful among other heightened emotions. But for his body to outwardly tell him that he wasn't providing a proper working environment for his cells was a slap in the face.

And his balls.

A handful of grey hairs in his beard by his jaw. He can handle that. Eventually. He eventually learned to accept it. Ok he hasn't accepted it yet but he was getting there. 

Sure he was shaving his beard more so he didn't have to see it but Max liked him with a mustache so it was all great.

But this was just egregious. 34 wasn't like all that old. He didn't even know that greying ‘early’ happened in his family! Grey hairs on his head he could manage (eventually). But grey hairs anywhere else should be illegal. 

It was fine, his day was going great. He had a productive meeting, went for a run, and came home to manscape a little in the shower, hoping to maybe lure Max off of the sim for an hour or so. 

Sure, Max didn't care if he had pubes or whatever but Daniel didn't like his shit growing too wild and free. A trim here and there was fine for him. Max made him promise not to wax anymore.

Anyway, he was just about to go through his almost meditative process when he saw something that he hoped was maybe just glare from the light. He'd almost fainted dead away right then and there when he'd brushed the hair with his finger and it continued to glint grey against the rest of the dark hair.

He had a grey hair beside his dick.

He had a grey hair beside his dick!

His dick had a fucking grey curly q.

“Daniel?” 

Daniel jumped, surprised to see Max so close. He hadn't even realized he'd spaced out.

“Daniel you are not old, of course.” Max smiled, cupping his cheek and swiping the stumble at his side burns that had started to betray him.

“Maxy I'm old as fuck apparently.” Daniel grumbled, soothing the ache in his chest with Max's giggle.

“Well I still love you.”

“Maxy...” Daniel trailed off because he wasn't yet willing to admit that his greatest fear was Max would come to his senses and realize that Daniel was too old. That these greys would be a warning sign to Max that Daniel's best years were officially behind him while Max's were yet to come.

“Daniel, you are being silly I think.”

“Maxy you say this now but I don't think you're ready to deal with old man balls.” 

“Daniel!” Max's eyes crinkled as he laughed. “You do not have old man balls.”

“Nah yeah. I like really do Maxy.” Daniel sighed.

Max rolled his eyes, Daniel was being so dramatic. He dropped to his knees in lieu of saying anything else.

“Max!” Daniel squawked. Sure this had been his plan maybe a half an hour ago but he hadn't gotten rid of that pesky grey hair and he couldn't let Max see.

“Daniel, you are being silly and I love you and you do not have old man balls.” Max started tugging at Daniel's shorts, snorting when his boyfriend grabbed at the waistband.

“Max– it's– no.” Daniel struggled, biting his lip when Max looked up at him curiously.

“Daniel?” Max furrowed his brow, Daniel was being more squirrely than usual. Something wasn't right.

“I–” Daniel's mouth opened and closed a couple times and no more sounds came out. He sighed explosively and his shoulders slumped. Max's eyes widened.

“Daniel what–”

Daniel bit the inside of his cheek, there was nothing for it. He may as well rip the band-aid off and just let Max see. He let go of his shorts, allowing the fabric to fall down his legs.

“I really do have old man balls Maxy.” Daniel said morosely. “A whole old man dick!” Max bit his lip so he wouldn't laugh at his boyfriend who truly was going through it. He couldn't figure out the trigger though.

“I don't understand, Daniel.”

“It's there!” Daniel, aggrieved, pointed aggressively to the thatch of hair surrounding his still soft dick.

Max followed his finger, stopping himself from leaning in to suck it into his mouth or to kiss Daniel's still lovely non old man dick. If only to apologize to the organ for how ungrateful Daniel was being. 

He mentally rolled his eyes and paid attention to what Daniel was trying to show him. Max didn't see anything wrong, Daniel's pubes had grown out a bit and Max wanted nothing more than to just press his face into the wiry hair– feel the burn of it against his chin. Then he saw it, and oh.

“Yeah– oh. Old man dick and balls. The whole package. I'm ancient Maxy. A fossil–” Daniel continued to babble, dragging a hand down his face.

“Daniel you are being silly. You are not old.” Max gave into the urge to press his face into the crease of Daniel's thigh, pressing a kiss to the section of skin that the lone (and apparently offending) grey hair was growing.

“Max–” Daniel was exasperated that Max wasn't getting it. Wasn't picking up what he was putting down. Even though he didn't want him to…he was confusing himself. The fact was he was old and Max finally knew and he was steeling himself for the inevitable.

“Oh!” Daniel shuddered when Max licked a wet stripe along his soft dick that wasn't very soft anymore. Max smirked and continued, sucking Daniel's half hard dick into the warm wet heat of his mouth.

Daniel gripped Max's hair to steady himself, moaning when Max swallowed him whole and pressed his nose into the curls at the base of him. Max looked up through his lashes, humming long and deep.

“Fuck.” Daniel hissed and Max clutched at his thighs. He created a rhythm, coaxing Daniel to fuck his throat. Daniel snapped his hips forward eagerly, groaning as he watched Max swallow his dick in the mirror. Max winked up at him before doing that thing with his tongue that Daniel loved. 

Daniel was a goner, curling over Max's head while he came– hard. 

After, he staggered backwards, watching dazedly as Max licked his swollen, pink lips. Daniel wanted to swallow him whole.

He dragged Max to his feet and planted a sloppy kiss to his lips, tasting his come and Max's lips. He was about to push him onto the bed so he could eagerly return the favor when

“Of course it's exactly what I thought.” Max said smugly. Daniel raised a brow curiously.

“What do you mean?” 

“I don't know what you're talking about earlier, Daniel. Your old man dick still works.”

Daniel couldn't help it, he laughed. Because in his own way, Max just alleviated Daniel's fears.

“I love you, y'know?” 

“I know Daniel.” Max pressed a deep kiss to his lips before pulling back. “My young man dick needs attention, of course.” 

Max grinned when Daniel laughed.

[sundewhasaudhd]

Ok, let’s do this. So, this is my main DSMP AU

Jesus, the timeline of this thing so confusing, because most of the content for this AU was written down, it was me and my friend talking in character at 12:00-4:00am, so this probably won’t be fully concrete, and I’m still figuring out the main plot points and what’s canon to the AU. But a basic summary(ish) is: Dream got put back in prison (along with George), but not before messing with Ranboo’s memory book, so now he can possess Ranboo. Lots of shit happened, but I mainly focus on TNT duo (because they’re my sillies and I love them). TNT duo at this point basically just have a rivals with benefits sort of thing going on. Then, one day, Wilbur asked out Quackity, and he said yes. They went on that date, and had a great time, until, Quackity asked Wilbur to join Las Nevadas. Wilbur said he felt like he didn’t think he deserve it, Quackity took it SUPER personally (because of source he did), and then this occurred (I’m only showing the script because I’m not sure how else to describe it) (Wilbur’s W and Dream’s D if you couldn’t tell):

This interaction resulted in what I like to call “Wilbur’s self isolation arc”, where because he thinks he’s the worst person alive, he tries to shut out everyone who he thinks cares about him (which is literally just three people). And this works(ish), until he tries to it Quackity (kind of [I’ll post that script later {probably}]), and Quackity does NOT let that happen. Some time after that, Quackity asks Wilbur again if he to join Las Nevadas, to which Wilbur says yes this time (for reasons that make sense with context, I promise), and the major events after that are stuff that I consider spoilers, which I will gradually post after I post most of the stuff leading up to that. Geez, I really hope you like this and that this sounds interesting. If u want to hear me info dump about this AU to you, feel to message me about it on Tumblr :]. Anyways, I’m gonna go reread some script and scroll through Tumblr and Pinterest l, have a good day/night everyone, thank you for reading these, bye :D

[makeste]

do you perhap have bakugou whump fic recs?

I have many such recs! not all of them are "whump" in the purest sense of the word, but they've got angst and hurt/comfort in abundance, so yeah.

I also have an older rec post from like five years ago which has quite a few Bakugou whump fics as well, so I'll link that here.

and here are like 16 new ones lol.

some quick notes:

I'm just including links and summaries here, so please make sure to check the tags for each fic if you have certain squicks or triggers you're trying to avoid!

please be aware that I am not very nitpicky about grammar and style and spelling and the like, so long as I'm feeling the characterization and general vibes. so while I can't promise that all of these fics will read like Nobel Prize-winning lit, I can say that I personally enjoyed each one enough to go back and reread more than once.

although it tends to be one of the most common tropes in Bakugou angst fics, I do not vibe with the "abusive Mitsuki" angle, so you won't find any of that in the works below. same goes for Midnight-bashing (which is also surprisingly common).

I also did not include any fics with sad endings just because I didn't feel like depressing myself today lol.

I don't think there are manga spoilers in any of these fics except one (which I noted and marked with an asterisk), but definitely check the tags just to be safe.

lastly, though I'm by no means a prude when it comes to fanfic, all of these particular fics are SFW, just FYI.

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gen Bakuwhump:

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It's Already Tomorrow on the Other Side of the World by Nicole_Silverwolf

In the absolute immediate aftermath of his rescue at Kamino, Bakugou just wants to sleep. If he sleeps then this nightmare will be over. Except he's freezing in the mid August heat. And he can't stop shaking. A glimpse of two imperfect humans trying their best told in 3.5 parts.

post-Kamino Dadzawa and Katsuki. easily one of my all-time favorite BnHA fics. it's so sad and cozy.

Coming Up for Air by achievingelysium

Katsuki has nightmares. He doesn't think he deserves the comfort, but Aizawa-sensei sits with him anyway.

more Dadzawa dealing with nighttime Kacchan angst, since that's like my #1 BnHA fic aesthetic. this is so well-written. like, there are a couple of lines in here that just... guh. just hit right to the core of me.

Bakugou's "Super Fun" Three Day Vacation by Marvelless

Bakugou and his parents arrive home after the Kamino Ward incident for some much-needed recovery time.

post-Kamino Bakufam angst. lots of paranoia and dissociation. this is one of those fics that's sort of a guilty pleasure for me, because Katsuki definitely feels a lot more... fragile?... in this than I think he would have been in canon. but he's still enough of a grump during all of his spiralling that it still feels like him. and I do love me some Bakufam wholesomeness, and this fic has got that in spades.

the art of poor judgement by emelinelou

It's a Tuesday when Bakugou admits to himself that maybe, maybe he is sorta, kinda under the weather. Things go quickly downhill from there. . Alternatively: Bakugou's too stubborn to be "sick," Midoriya and Kirishima are in over their heads, Todoroki is the Most Useful in a pinch, and Aizawa is not paid nearly enough for this.

probably my favorite sickfic. chapter two especially. Bakugou's narration in this is fucking fantastic. he's so fucking done with life. meanwhile everyone around him is freaking out, and he himself is a complete mess even though he won't acknowledge it, and it's just great. it's equal parts funny, sad, and absolutely adorable.

(incidentally, even though this fic is marked as incomplete, it really doesn't feel that way and ends at a perfectly reasonable stopping point, so don't let that put you off.)

Solar Flare by TheQueen

Three weeks after Katsuki Bakugou receives his quirk, he takes a short tumble off a bridge and watches, dumbfounded, as stupid Deku extend a hand. Don’t take it, the universe commands. Don’t tell me what to do! Katsuki snaps.

this is a really cool AU in which Baby Katsuki accidentally starts defying the universe and ignoring his predestined path, which has a profound ripple effect on his life. sort of like a time-travel fix-it, minus the time travel. also just a heads up that Bakugou is like five years old in this so I guess it's technically a kidfic. and there is plenty of angst, a little bit of whump, more Bakufam, and plenty of baby Kacchan and Deku being cute like it's their job.

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BKDK/DKBK whump:

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lose it all (with eyes wide open) by ghostwriterofthemachine

Katsuki is blinded. Izuku is muted. Both of them are kidnapped. Things get worse.

this is one of those fics that just kind of leaves you stunned at how freaking good it is. featuring: psychological mindgames, hopelessly bleak situations, and codependency so utterly raw and desperate that it broke my heart roughly 17 times.

When Ice Doesn't Float by Ma_skee

A simple rescue exercise goes south when Izuku falls through the ice and it goes from a class assinment to an actual rescue and a race against time to keep him from freezing to death.

technically this is more Dekuwhump than Kacchanwhump (though we do get a bit of the latter toward the end), but I'd argue that few things could possibly stress Katsuki out more than being in a tense survival situation in which Deku is hurt and needs help. anyway so yeah. this is classic hurt/comfort and very good.

spinning out of control by mollE

Katsuki joins the 'I've Been Mind Controlled' Club. He wishes he hadn't.

please see above re: how all Dekuwhump scenarios are secretly Kacchanwhump scenarios in disguise. anyway so basically a mind-controlled Bakugou beats the shit out of Deku while being fully aware of it the entire time, and has a complete (and understandable) emotional breakdown afterwards.

all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing by maxisnotokay

Izuku has had this thing about him that Katsuki has never been able to name, but he's been chasing it since he learned how to run. It takes a catastrophic building collapse during their third year and a severe concussion for him to realize what it is. Aizawa loses ten years off his life. When does he not.

gotta love a good building collapse fic. this one has a concussed Katsuki, a very worried Izuku, and the usual "thanks to this intimate life-or-death situation, I have belatedly realized some fundamental truths about the nature of our relationship" tropes. but it's good. a lot of really good banter and back-and-forth dialogue in this one too.

takes one to know one by Sour_Idealist

Deku has left UA. Ochako still looks for him in unguarded moments. Bakugo is, unsurprisingly, being a jerk.

some good emotional hurt/comfort post-Jakku. Ochako has a chat with Bakugou about Deku. specifically, Bakugou's feelings toward Deku. it's good shit.

*fear is the heart of love by nikkiRA

*please be advised this fic contains major manga spoilers!!

Bakugou gets hit by a quirk that amplifies his greatest fear for 24 hours.

losing Deku. the thing that scares him the most is losing Deku. this is a good fic. emotional hurt/comfort for days. though once again do keep in mind that there are a couple of major spoilers in this.

silence is what i do best by notreally

the one where both Izuku and Katsuki were hit with a truth serum sort of quirk, and things aren't going all too well.

not just a truth-telling quirk, but a truth-compulsion quirk, to the extent that (spoiler alert) the quirk causes them physical pain and distress if they don't speak the truth. which, as you can imagine, leads to all sorts of extremely vulnerable conversations and a lot of good h/c.

close by not quite by blossomshed

When Bakugou goes after a beacon during a class-wide rescue op, he doesn't expect to find Deku - or to find himself dealing with the fallout of a gift he doesn't want, and a side of himself he'd never bothered to examine. He deals with it nonetheless.

this fic is so dear to me. it's yet another "Deku transfers OFA to Bakugou fic", but it's just so fucking good. and it also features a (very much confused) ace Bakugou, which is such a rare find. there are lines from this fic which I still think about constantly. it's funny and profound and adorable and so wonderfully IC, please go read it.

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BONUS NON-ANGSTY FICS because I just felt like ending this list with some happy stories where Kacchan gets a lot of love:

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give me compliments (i said give me compliments) by wonhaebunny

“It’s just cute,” Ashido is telling them as she walks into the classroom. “Like, when you compliment someone and they get flustered so easily, don’t you think it’s endearing?” Kaminari blinks. “Like Bakugou?” he asks slowly. - 1-a realises that katsuki is really, really bad at receiving compliments. exposure therapy ensues.

he is bad at accepting compliments. this is a very, very cute fic.

The Friendship Ladder by nikkiRA

Bakugou and Kirishima tell their classmates they're dating, but everyone seems more interested in who gets to claim the newly vacated spot of Bakugou’s best friend.

as the summary implies this is technically KRBK, but the focus here is very much class 1-A as a whole. there's just something about seeing the entirety of the class squabbling over their Kacchan love that tickles me to no end. Deku is also fantastic in this lmao.

The Yoshida Trail by WinterSwallow

Mitsuki Bakugo returns with her gift to the mountain.

last but not least we have this gorgeous character study with a criminally low view count. Mitsuki climbs Mt. Fuji with an eight-year-old Katsuki in tow, as the fic explores his childhood and young adulthood through a series of vignettes. the insights in this really have no business being as profound as they are, given that they're voiced from the perspective of one of the most graceless characters in the series as she observes her equally graceless son through all the ups and downs and tumbles of his life. but somehow that just makes the whole thing even better. idk I just really love this a lot.

---

anyway that's it for now. hope at least a few of these are enjoyable. thanks for the ask!

[juniorig0327]

Thinking of Titans and the idea of "hosts" for my nameless AU

Kronos is obviously a very different case since he was chopped up and sent into Tartarus but I don't think its a stretch for other Titans or Giants to be able to if strong enough and put in a similar situation.

I am currently playing around with an idea of Kronos (and later Gaea specifically with Percy and maybe Leo?) being able to lend people pockets of his power and Kronos using them to influence a person.

Because I've been thinking about it and I don't know if it was outright stated. implied, or just made up and I gaslighted myself into thinking it was canon but I'm pretty sure Luke was Kronos's like LAST option as a host and I think he wanted Percy as his host (maybe Thalia if Luke convinced her?).

And so at first I was going to do something like this with Percy, but I decided against it (mostly after rereading falling for you for the 3rd time) because I do wanna do Gaea somewhere in this AU and I feel like the relationship between Gaea and Percy has the potential to be so much more personal than it ever was between Kronos and Percy (because Kronos wasn't really Percy's true villain, not really, it was Luke if that makes sense lol).

So I'm sort of playing around with the idea of Kronos aiming for Nico. Because Kronos def wants a big three kid as his host and Thalia and Bianca are sorta out of the picture. And with how vulnerable Nico is, by the time Nico wants to turn back, it may already be too late.

And yes, Jason is at CHB and is definitely an option, Kronos didn't think of Jason as a host. Because Jason isn't the type of person Kronos is looking for or can really exploit. Kronos seems to go after jaded, bitter, and angry characters mostly and while Jason is a little bitter, he isn't really angry, not when Kronos is looking for a big three kid host. Because Jason isn't upset over losing his sister, he barely knew her. Yeah he's bitter, but not at a point where Kronos can use it.

I'd say in this AU, Kronos tries going for Percy, but he's blocked off. For whatever reason, Kronos just can't get in.

Now, there's one other titan I'd think about doing it with or having a role where he's lending characters his powers. Ophion.

Now ur probably asking who that is and that's a great question (thats a link btw).

Anyways it's almost 12 and my brain is dying so I'ma just post this.

[psalmsofpsychosis]

(still the same anon from all those Batman/Joker asks)

Be ready with those empty walls, pal, I'm on my way!! I've already thrown my suitcase in the car and filled up the gas-

You blew every expectation I had with that answer of yours and I don't know if I'll ever recover. I will absolutely respond to your answer but first I need to put my brain back together from being rearranged like a jigzaw puzzle. I'm definitely looking forward to reading that Jesus/side wound meta whenever you post it.

Until then I have a different question. I don't remember who said it but it was along these lines: "There are only three people in the world who find the Joker funny. Joker himself, sometimes Harley and lastly Bruce. And he feels so fucking guilty for it."

They pointed out how Batman does a lot of bad puns, same as the Joker, except he does it with a straight face and serious tone. For example: Bat-terry, Bat-bucket, Bat-arang, saying "hang in there Alfred" while Alfred is dangling off a metal beam. (Those are my rushed examples, not something the original poster brought up, so if they're unaccurate, that's my fault). Bruce will also just say the craziest shit and nobody is sure if he's serious or not. (Happens all the time)

I have a vague suspicion who it was but I'm not sure enough to @ them.

Joker and Batman's sense of humour and how they are somewhat opposed but still similar will drive me into an early grave I swear. Like that post that's still circulating somwhere that mentions how Bruce "lives and dies by the fact that nobody can ever tell when he's pulling their chain" and how Joker "craves to have his comedic genius acknowledged [but he's just not funny]".

I don't know about Joker wanting to be acknowledged as funny because I don't think he considers himself to be in the clown business. He definitely ranted about this to a captured Damian in a comic once. But he does make a lot of bad jokes. Maybe he doesn't think himself funny, either?

Any thoughts?

(Btw I'm not done pestering you yet, be ready to receive an ask about the Batman: I Am Suicide comic and about Martha and Thomas Wayne in the next few days. I still have to gather my thoughts though.)

(Can I just say that every single one of your answers has made my brain release a huge amount of serotonin? Or is that too much? Eh, whatever, it's the truth anyway. You've brightened my week considerably, thank you so much!!)

❤️❤️ hi friend, i adore receiving your asks and getting to exchange interpretations with you, and i can only hope that my superturbonexus unhinged answers have brought half as much joy to you as your questions have brought me 🥰

I kinda took my time with this ask (sorry!) because it's a rather big bite out of an intricate can of bat worms for me, can included. I also found and reread this particular post by @distort-opia , which put more a dozen more interesting worms in my metaphorical can— i'm not sure though if it was the post you were initially referring to.

So! The concept of jokes and generally being a funnyman is a subjective talk, and my personal preferences regarding where Joker and Batman place on the funnyman scale deviate considerably from what the general consensus in batman fandom seems to be (or the lot i have seen of it), so i guess i'll just take this opportunity to do personal talk, probably more than usual 😂 take it all with a grain of salt! (an ingradient that you'll find this answer contains a fair bit of actually—)

I dont think Joker is funny one bit, and i dont think he's particularly trying to be in the general sense of the word; to imply that he's "funny" both in-world and on a meta level would mean that being funny is his core motivation and the heart of his actions, that it's the foundational component, and to me it's not. A bit more a matter of personal taste on my part, but i actually feel lowkey irritated with Joker portrayals that lean too heavily on the "HE MAKES JOKES HE'S SO FUNNY!!!!!" act at the expect of every other significant characteristic he has, because like, funny is not who he is, it's just one of the 500 things he does. Sure he started as a fun character meant to bring in a dash of psychopathic delight to the early Batman works, but he has evolved to become so much more than that, which i like better than the more simplistic "he's a funny fun guy!!!!" characterizations. To me Joker is not funny, he is not supposed to be the way you pour salt on your dish but it's not supposed to taste salty, it's supposed to taste /right/. His jokes aren't the main dish, they're an added flavour meant to bring home a certain act: the performance. He's a showman, he's here to put on a good show, and that show doesn't have the end goal of being "fun", it has the goal of being iconoclastic and real and raw. But he can't exactly do raw, raw and sincere scares him, in a way he's a slave to his fear and tries to cage it and tame it and understand it the way Batman is scared of bats and everything they represent and he made them his very persona. Joker tries to be true and geniune and sincere but he can't, so he infuses his actions with jokes to soften the blow, shift the taste a bit. He also has the genius' disease; he wants to be seen through, interpreted, understood and reimagined, mirrored, and it's an itch only a certain fellow fucked up intellectual can scratch for him.

Batman deeply understands the value of a good performance and a viciously planned persona, he is a performer both as Bruce Wayne and as Batman after all. And he has the expertise to dissect and bring out all the nuance in Joker's performance, it's probably why he finds him funny. He understands the theatre piece, both when it's executed in a stellar fashion and when it falls flat on its face. noone else can bring this level of discernment to interpreting Joker like Batman does because what other villains do is actually less performance and more.... outright insanity. I think this is also the reason why Batman enjoys saying the most insane shit and making weird jokes at weird times and have everyone be confused by him, it's part of the performance. There are these little almost invisible acts that Batman and Joker catch of each other, that they want to catch of each other, "i'm shaking the persona a bit", like when an actor improvises a moment to keep the role fresh, but only the people in on the script catch it, to others it feels in accordance, not off enough to catch attention. It's one of their core points of connection and similarity actually, they both have their performances and they both wiggle in its frame, sometimes threatening to break through the confines.

[kurisus]

Noragami reread: Volume 23 & 24 thoughts

My last post with two volumes--the next, and final one, will have 3. Also, these volumes were not released during my last reread, so there are some discrepancies and things I didn't realize before, translation-wise.

It took me this long, but I finally figured out what Yuuki's vessel form is. It's a shadow. Symbolically this represents how he's a shadow of his former self, and is silent, insubstantial, reduced to nothing but omnipresent; living in the blind spots but caused by the presence of light (the sun). In a more practical sense, he can shape himself into a human form and send out tendrils to influence other humans, and this is also how he can become a spear for trash dad while maintaining human form. It also explains the black hair and outfit difference, and why he appears to be a human vessel, something that according to Kazuma should be impossible. Trash dad also says Yuuki is a growth-type vessel who will keep morphing depending on the enemy he's facing, which makes sense as to why his powers keep evolving when he fights Yato, then hunts for his dad, then blames heaven.

Anyway volume 23 is an absolutely miserable time and I had to psych myself up to read it for several hours. Yato's realization of who he's fighting, Hagusa losing control and believing he's attacking the father that killed him, Hiyori fainting at Yuka's house, rock paper scissors, the reveal of Yukine's real name...hell. I'm in hell.

While Yato is fighting Yukine, he addresses why he left--to ensure that everyone else lives happily. However, Yukine doesn't buy this, because his greatest fear is being abandoned. Yato wouldn't do that to him again, right? This means that Yato isn't gonna disappear, right?! Right?!?!??!!

Also in 23 is Ookuninushi accidentally knocking the Yatori plaques and hanging them back up with a blessing: May you all live happily ever after. I'm hoping that means that Kofuku tying the plaques meant they'd both die (in a sense) and him blessing them would mean they both...undie. SO YATO CAN'T DIE. SCREAMS

I'm looking SO hard for evidence that our three main characters will survive to the end, as they are, but still choose to part ways. But the thought of the last chapter is torturing me because I really have NO idea what they're gonna do.

Back to the volume at hand, instead of calling Father a goryoujin, they say he's basically the same thing as Tenjin, a human who died with a grudge and was deified to quell his wrath. There isn't a translation note about this either, which I find odd because I'm pretty sure a goryoujin is not that. Earlier they were heavily implying that Father only got his powers by returning from the dead--and this is backed up by his backstory later. So why now say he was deified, and THAT'S how he got his powers? I think it's entirely likely the official got it wrong, because they've gotten stuff wrong before, but unless there's something I'm missing, it just makes it all the more confusing.

Not a lot from volume 24 since it's mostly fighting, but I did want to say every time I go back and reread the chapters I read as they were releasing (and especially for the half-chapters we've been getting the last few years), I'm always surprised by how well everything flows together when compiled in volume form. Volume 24 is the one where Yato finally faces his fears and goes after his father, showing a long journey from earlier in the series, when he was so afraid just from his presence that he couldn't even move.

The art also goes craaaaaaaaazy in this volume. Every panel with Hagusa is amazingly composed, and the fighting between Yato and his father is well-choreographed and breathtaking to read.

I'm also realizing I solved another of my minor hangups with the series ending. I kept expecting something terrible to befall Take and Ebisu when they were on Tamatsuki because of how they talked about it, but nothing did. On a reread, it seems like what actually happened to Ebisu's previous incarnation was that trash dad was waiting for him on that island, Chiki in hand, and destroyed him and his shinki. So he deemed it too dangerous to try again, but in the present day trash dad is busy getting his ass handed to him.

Another one was also resolved, with the deal with Amaterasu and her shinki. The official makes it seem less like they're out to get her, but more that she's starting to question "the heavens are always right" and they are too, a bit.

Discord reactions, only a couple this time:

[thefourchimes]

🍌🍈

Wasn't able to answer this last night as I had passed out and then I got really busy the whole day today, whoops, my bad about that, but here we go!

🍌 In your opinion, what’s the funniest joke/reference/pun you’ve made in a fic?

Ooooh...well, as mentioned in the previous ask, I haven't actually posted anything for Encanto yet, and while I probably have a lot of possible choices from my other fandoms, I can't remember any from the others off the top of my head atm oof

Plus most of my stuff is angst instead of crack AHSFUIHAFS but I'll do my best

So yes, a joke/reference/pun I've made for a fic...I honestly have a few in mind right now for Encanto, ones from the 233 page AU, but if I say it now, it'll lose its magic when I hopefully post it AHSFUHASF

I'll probably just mention this one scene I had written for the one All of Us Are Dead fic I have, one that still makes me laugh every time I reread it:

It probably doesn't help that my sense of humor sucks but it's funny to me at least HASUFHASF

My bad if I wasn't really able to answer this properly 😅

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

Ah, this question <3

I don't think I made it too obvious as to who my blorbo is before, besides a few posts and the fact that I love all the cool sisters so much, so yeah, guess it's time to "reveal" it

It's Isabela

I remember watching Encanto again all those months ago, the moment where my hyperfixation was about to rear its head and grab me by the throat, never letting go

As that was happening, the feral, chaotic, and unhinged cactus gremlin sister decided to jump me too

I can't remember exactly when I knew she was my favorite, but I just knew that she already was before I even fully realized it

I had WECID on repeat for a long while at one point

I think her exploring herself after everything hit me hard, I relate to her so much in a way, ngl... (except the hilarious thing is that I'm not even Isabela in this case, I'm the youngest out of my three siblings so I'm technically Mirabel in a sense ASHFIASF)

But anyway, I digress, my thoughts on her (along with my ideas for her that pop up in fics—er, will pop up anyway) are so wild that I'm not too sure on how to write it down in paragraph form, plus it probably won't be anything new since someone else in the fandom has probably already mentioned these, but I guess we keep going with it in a chaotic and wild way, true to Isabela's character (apologies in advance for the explosion of thoughts—except also not really sorry):

She's chaos incarnate, a force of nature that is so very extra and so petty as hell but it's okay because we love it sm

We don't get to see it all as much though because of her mask, but that just makes me even happier since she gets to be free post movie

She's acrobatic and athletic as seen in WECID, not to mention her skill with vine swinging, but that doesn't mean she didn't get at least a bit of clumsy genes from Agustin in some way, she just hides it pretty well due to her mask of perfection

She's always colorful and changing colors every time, experimenting with all the possibilities and she changes the color of her hair strand a lot too

She makes and discovers and explores all kinds of plants (ones she keeps track of to know what they are and what they can do), but we all know she has a soft spot for cacti <3

She knows a lot about flower and plant language, whether already having knowledge during the movie or learning after

She loves her family so much that she would and has sacrificed her happiness for them, that's something I admire so much but am also sad about because she really loves her family that she wants them happy even if she can't be happy, ow—

This seems to be a consensus the fandom has: she's one of the ones who will most likely murder someone and will kill for her siblings, very protective of her sisters and her family <3

Speaking of which, she has a ridiculously overpowered gift, one she has just as ridiculous control over as well, that I cackle and shake my head every time when someone just underestimates her and her gift

We know how she wants to be free but is feeling trapped as she's forced into perfection, half due to her own making and half due to others boxing her in, so there are lots of fake smiles and pretending on her part, but that does mean she's a pretty good actress considering she had everyone fooled for so long

I fucking love her bonds and relationships with her sisters and her cousins, but, as my PFP is indicating, especially the cool sisters

They weren't close with each other for several reasons for a long while, not even mentioning the strained relationship between her and Mirabel, but to see them have the chance to connect again and make up for everything was done and all that happened after the events of the movie? I love it so much aaaaaa

She teases the hell out of them in various ways, that's for sure, the sister vibes are so real <33

But that doesn't mean the cousins are left out here, ofc, the exploration of dynamics is always so nice and fun to see

I love all the grandkids so much <33333

I want to keep going so badly but I feel like I'd never finish this ask if I do AUISFHUIASHF plus I'm very sure I forgot something, but oof 😔

Ngl, this was me the entire time I was trying to answer this question:

Isabela <33

yep, that tracks HASFUIAHSF but yeah, thanks for the ask!! :DD <33

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of spring cleaning

11pm monday, april 3, 2023

family in town this week! i've been vacuuming! and cleaned the bathroom! funny how the title of these posts is starting to turn into a pattern, where the X in 'in lieu of x' is becoming an obligation more and more often...i guess as befits a fun little side project that i keep up instead of doing other things? even though it didn't start out with that sense in mind? curious. spoilers for some of the early episodes of dimension 20: neverafter, baru cormorant 3. and the first three episodes of ted lasso season 3!

reading having fun with baru 3 again. the masquerade ball (a masquerade ball! in a series about masks!) was v fun for me. the dialogue lately between barhu and heingyl and iscend and even aminata and shao lune has been great. seeing tau-indi back in action has changed everything. watching aminata fucking evolve and change her position and go against her earlier principles is so really excellently done. i hope to finish this up, since i have a backlog of things now on my phone and piling up next to my bed physically, nona (and rereading harrow) and jasmine throne and the golden enclaves and more, not to mention more victoria goddard and the rest of what we all long for and my various malingering libby loans which i keep asking to be delivered later....

watching caught up on the first new episodes of series 3 of ted lasso this weekend, and oh wow i've missed this show. i have inchoate emotional thoughts about roy + keeley, and about ted and his family shit, about rebecca and ted clashing over the need to 'fight back' as the season progresses, over the nate of it all, but i think none of that has surprised me? i'm here for it, but it's not unexpected (even the roy/keeley situation, that was flagged at the end of the last series). what has so far surprised me, in the sense that, i am pleased to see the show introducing new complications and layers and avenues of inquiry, has been shandy, keeley in management and how that's going, trent's book and watching him relate to roy (that scene with the review, aghhh) and watching them realize that they have the memory, the history of the sport, that beard and ted don't have, the roy and jamie scenes, the way jamie has been really great actually? especially seeing him react to zava? and finally, the chance to get to know colin. we've gotten to know isaac a bit, and sam a lot, and i am here for this deep dive into a new player. and it's not just because he's the welsh player, or the closeted player, i've always had a soft spot for colin and i'm excited to see more of him! and i'm worried for him now, but... not that worried because he is, after all, a strong and capable man. also, because this is apparently the final season, i have some...what's the opposite of trepidation. about how things will go. sure, there will be surprises and probably some heart-wrenching stuff but whatever will happen, will happen with a sense of finality, if that makes sense.

(this is a very silly picture, but it has trent and zava in it whereas most of the cast shots don't, so.)

listening an almost constant stream of dimension 20: neverafter, every time i'm outside the house. i'm still only just through episode 5, trouble in tuffeton, so it's a good thing i'm not waiting to watch these with the video-- having the dropout subscription has enabled me to stream just the audio, which is better for commuting and also is i think good for me this season-- as much as i'd like to see people's faces, the maps and whatnot, the minis are a little immersion-breaking. i may go back to watching alongside an hour or two of stardew, now that i have access to my games again, hooray. anyway i'm obsessed with lou, with zack, with noticing and really appreciating murph? all of a sudden? as a player and as someone playing a character who is flawed and still very funny. ally beardsley my beloved. the premise for this season was exciting to me, and then the multiverse / stories within stories flavor was...less so, it feels like well-trodden fairy-tale territory at this point to get so meta about storytelling, but the more i listen the more i am surprised and pleased by brennan's choices and how these reinterpretations are achieved. i love pitting the princesses against the fairies. i love the overlap between the characters' backstories (pinocchio's mother being the bad fairy!?) and everyone doing so fucking well at being both players who Know Things and unreliable narrators as their characters who Couldn't Know.

playing got to hang out with the lovely @floragraph and play a little stardew valley today! it's been so nice to dip back in, now that my laptop is fixed and functional again. also revisited pentiment with @dimir-charmer and we've absolutely run down the clock on this one bit without a satisfactory solution, and it's stressful! this is a good game!! and finally, d&d yesterday was a riotous delight, a run-in with the fantasy pinkerton detectives, and now a horse-chase. what a good game.

making fucked around in the kitchen yesterday while on the phone with an old friend, and together we concocted an interesting soup, using a quarter of a japanese pumpkin i had. roasted, pureed, mixed with sage and cream and ginger and a bit of roasted carrot...you get the picture. a solid B+ for totally improvised soup. totally improvising soup and adding little things to taste until it arrives at Pleasant, Actually always reminds me of my gran.

working on a bunch of things that aren't actually my work, which is starting to cause a bit of stress. applied for a funding award last week, while also sitting down with a couple of profs to talk about my rejected paper and where to send it next and how to amend it (which i have yet to do), though, so there's that. put several hours into paid work for my RAship though, that felt good. i also filed a bit of paperwork that ended up being easy but was frustrating in the moment, which i can consider a win. i need to finalize and book a bunch of summer travel things, start and finish my taxes, make these revisions and do so in a timely manner so that i can send the drafts to the people who need to read them.... but it all feels sort of far away and dreamy in comparison to the last few weeks of march, for better or for worse. instead, i have begun duolingo dutch and looking up travel phone plans in the netherlands...!

[spacedykez]

Hiii just read your coral kids fanfic and it said to scream to you on tumblr about it/them in general so here I go:

Just FOR YOUR INFORMATION I was reading your ff during lunch break today and it broke me (in the best ways) I literally had to fight back tears. IT'S SOO GOOD WTFF I LOOOVE

The way your wrote Scott and Martyn has me in shambles! I relate so much to them but also I just wanna be like them and also I JUST WANT EVERYTHING FOR THEM OKAY THEY DESERVE THIS q.q

The parallels for both to 3rd life OH BOIII I was shaking and I loved every second of it. Esp the direct parallel´-scenes and such CHEF'S KISS I WANNA PUNCH A WALL.

Next thing that made me go insane is the colour-thingy. I didn't know I needed bright colour Scott in my life but OH BOI YES also the parallels between Martyn and Jimmy??? like??? My head is spinning and I feel like there's smth I missed but I enjoy having a spinny-head over blorbos <3

Oh and also how GOOD you've woven the series and curses and alliances together - it makes all so much sense and it just shows how hurt they are and also how deeply they feel- once again I would like to punch a wall

Despite that emotional level i LOVED how you got the humor and their personality down and their flirty selves and all that CHEF'S KISS THANK YOU SO MUCH

so yeah might have to reread and adopt parts of that into my own self bc it's jsut so SO good but I'm so very glad you wrote it <3<3<3

HIHI M SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO REPLY TO THIS. short answer Life Happened. anyways!!! you are my favoritest person ever right now i adore you.

THANK YOU!!!! traffic!scott is one of my #1 projection characters he is just like me fr. obviously i have not been put through three death games like he has skldfjsd but i do relate to him quite a bit so i'm sure that shows through in my writing. theres no deeper reason that i was able to write an entire section about scott being lonely/scared everyone was going to leave him. at all. ever. absolutely not that would be crazy. (/sarcasm)

references/callbacks to other series my beloved!!! i am soooo emotionally stable abt 3L/DL (/lying). i don't know how obvious it was (probably very obvious but anyways) but i never really watched LL i only have a bit of knowledge from tumblr osmosis (the reason i didn't watch it has nothing to do w the series and more to do w general life stuff at the time that's not really relevant)

SPINNY HEAD OVER BLORBOSSS YES I have spinny head over blorbos syndrome. i cannot get over how martyn and jimmy are like opposites. jimmy was always in need of protection by scott, scott was always there to protect him (or try to) (and sidenote i love flower husbands and i will not tolerate flower husbands slander but thats another post). martyn is the opposite. where jimmy was in need of protection, martyn wants to provide scott with protection. theres just. theres something there. they make me insane /pos

I LOVE MAKING THE GAMES AS ANGSTY AS POSSIBLE they are all so traumatized autismbless <3 they r all so hurt they r all hurt people hurting others because they are desperate and i am so insane over the life series in general

i may have watched. a bit of scott smajor. just a bit. yk. a tiny smidge. a small amount. maybe. just maybe- /sarcasm

(i have watched an ungodly amount of smajor content . and i will admit i wasnt as sure about martyn goin in because i HAVE written him before but only once and i've not watched him as much before LimLife. i think i got him down? people seem to like it ! so i think i succeeded :D)

[hildred-rex]

this pinned post is permanent now too...

Alright, the temporary blog image has grown on me. It's a cropped square from page 31 of A Collection of Emblemes, Ancient and Moderne (1635) by George Wither.

The header image is Monhegan, Maine (1922) by Nicholas Roerich. Everyone should go look at more Roerich artwork immediately; his are some of the most consistently beautiful paintings I've ever seen.

Anyway...

I'm:

Cinnamon or Hildred by name, accurately referred to with any pronoun set other than he/it.

@/voidblue on pronouns.page.

Generally, my thematic color is blue and not yellow, but it doesn't make sense for Hildred Castaigne to be blue. In fact, I think he'd be somewhat offended. This makes making this account look like me... somewhat difficult. (Update: I've given up entirely. This is Hildred's blog theme now. The Imperial Dynasty of America was secretly the Imperial Dynasty of Tumblr User @hildred-rex's Blog Theme.)

Under the readmore: a list of fandoms I partake in, more detail on my exploits in gothic literature, a noncomprehensive list of other things I've enjoyed, and a "last updated."

Fandoms:

gothic literature (predominantly horror) in general; this gets its own list lower down!

The League of Extraordinary Gentlefolk.

Arthur Machen (have not read everything yet!)

Dracula by Bram Stoker.

The King in Yellow by Robert W. Chambers.

The Parties are for Losers series by Ferry. (I don't want to give them a random notification for no reason, but they're nopanamaman on tumblr.)

The rest of Ferry's songs are also very good!

currently reading Homestuck due to a D&D campaign (I promise this makes sense in context)

[more when I remember them]

I decided a few years ago that Lovecraft was seminal to the cosmic horror genre and that therefore I should read all the fiction he ever wrote; to my recollection I've read everything listed on Wikisource except "The Street" and "The Rats in the Walls," provided it's extant. (Not sure this counts as a fandom?)

I'll have to come back and add a "music I enjoy" section later.

More on Gothic Literature:

(Listed = I've read it; bolded = I can probably do analysis of its characters; italicized = I don't remember it well; underlined = I really want to reread this and will when I have the time. Small is notes and commentary.)

This is only what I've dredged up from my brain at the moment and I have probably read more; this'll be updated as I read and/or think of stuff.

Dracula (1897) by Bram Stoker. (Curiously, I've never actually done Dracula Daily.)

The King in Yellow (1895) by Robert W. Chambers. (Bolding only goes for the weird stories, including "The Demoiselle d'Ys," and is strongest for "The Repairer of Reputations." I've found myself unable to get through a few of the romances & cannot make heads nor tails of "The Prophet's Paradise" except that it feels like someone accidentally published his sheet of idea-collection paper. Admittedly, because of that it makes a pretty good transition between the weird stories and the rest.)

The Three Impostors (1895) by Arthur Machen. (I utterly adore this book.)

Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1886) by Robert Louis Stevenson. (I really loved reading this one, but was very sad by the end. I had Opinions on most of the characters and will again when I reread.)

The Great God Pan (1890) by Arthur Machen.

The Inmost Light (1890) by the same author. (Hello Dyson!)

Jane Eyre (1847 originally; I think Dover reproduced from the third ed.) by Charlotte Brontë. (Worth reading, but GODDAMNIT JANE. She's the closest I've found to a fictional representation of how I think, especially about making complicated decisions, which (a) made her very relatable and (b) made the end of the novel all the more what-the-fuck. Also GODDAMNIT CHARLOTTE because of the authorial racism and also the not realizing how unhealthy the core relationship is.)

The Vampyre (1819) by John William Polidori.

The Shining Pyramid (1923) by Arthur Machen. (I didn't like this one when I last read it; Dyson felt off.)

The White People by Arthur Machen (has the most cursed name of anything ever).

Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus (1831, not yet 1818) by Mary Shelley.

The Red Hand (1895) by Arthur Machen.

[Am currently reading more Machen.]

Miscellaneous Things Enjoyed:

This time in alphabetical order.

The Anatomy of Tobacco by Arthur Machen. I feel I must clarify that it's a comedic work that I'd estimate to be of novella length. Reader beware, this book contains random untranslated and even untransliterated faux-Ancient Greek.

At the Mountains of Madness by H. P. Lovecraft.

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward by H. P. Lovecraft. It feels like reading a textbook with a central plot besides the advancement of history (and with a nicer writing style). Content warning for racism and off-handed mentions of the colonial American slave trade.

Fourteen by Peter Clines. This book gets in one's head and doesn't leave.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and its ensuing series, by Douglas Adams.

Last updated 2024-07-03, YYYY-MM-DD. Created sometime in late-ish November 2023. Edited 2023-12-07 and 2024-03-31. Backdated to Louis Castaigne's birthday in a year that would make him 42 years old at the founding of this blog.

[1d1195]

Hi love, I saw that you were looking for inspo for Physics. I don't remember you promising another part to it because when I read part 5 way back it felt pretty concluded to me for a college story. So if you want to write something, maybe think of it as an extra that way you're not confined to continuing a set storyline. You can place the character two years into dating or three months into it. That was my first idea but my second, I looked up the song you're using for inspo and though I've never heard it I read the lyrics and I had sort of an angsty idea. It's mostly to do with the lyrics "I got too good at fighting chemicals, And dodging arrows I was asking for" and "Love is not an easy thing to admit". Now I don't know how they relate to the song but those lines grabbed my attention. What if you started the story in the middle of a fight that they're having? It's not a bad fight in terms of yelling and being angry with each other but they're both hurting. Maybe the reader and Harry are out somewhere but she's talking to one group and he's elsewhere in the party. And someone asks the reader about her relationship with Harry but she still feels so insecure about him being with her and how that's perceived that she downplays their relationship. And Harry just happens to hear it though the reader isn't aware. It hurts him because he really cares about her (idk whenever you set this they even shared 'I love yous' and such) but he realizes that she has been very lowkey about their relationship whenever they're with other people. I don't know if that makes sense. Anyways, eventually, they talk about it and both make good points for the way that they feel and that's why it's not a fight. There is no right or wrong here. So they feel in limbo and don't even know if they're still a couple. But using the "Love is not an easy thing to admit" line they meet in the middle and patch things up. She's finally honest about why she feels so scared of their relationship or however, you want to do it.

You don't have to take any of this but hopefully, something I've said here sparks something in your brilliant mind. If you ever want more suggestions let me know. I'm always re-reading your stuff anyway so I'm up to date. LOL 😉

Also really hoping to see that commitment idea. There's something so real about their story. And I agree with your anon their first time is gonna be quite something. 😏

Also, what is this new story "DING"? Have you already talked about its possible plot?

I hope this week is kind to you. Take care of yourself, you're too amazing not to be. -🌼

AHHHHH Hi!

This is definitely something to think about! I appreciate your thought that it seemed wrapped up. I thought so too, but I'm a slave to this site and I love to be a people pleaser. I'm happy to do a check-in though! It's not to sound negative. I LOVE writing stuff people want to see and I loved my little physics couple. I never expected them to be very exciting tbh

What you suggested is EXACTLY what I was looking for! I would love an angsty little piece to write about. I've been in angsty mood.

I'M CRYING THAT YOU REREAD MY STUFF 😭😭😭 SO MUCH SO THAT YOU HAVE ENOUGH TO COMMENT ON IT AND COME UP WITH BRILLIANT IDEAS!

You will definitely be seeing the Committed idea 😉 I'm looking forward to writing it 🤭

I've been very stingy about the details of Ding. I'm not sure it's come up much at all. I'm still fine tuning the first part before I share the post. I wanted to write one more piece and that's Physics before I share the main page for Ding. I think you'll like it. 😉

💕 I hope YOU have an amazing week! This is the nicest message and I'm so grateful you took the time to write it. I'm really excited to have a new friend to chat with! I hope you feel like coming back to chat again soon! 💕

xoxo

[doylldonmagar]

I meant to make a response to this sooner, but stuff came up and I forgot, and so oops my bad. This post is not intended with any ill will and is intended more for the general undecided public, because I don't really expect anyone with a firm stance to change their opinion based off of me. Anyway, with that said, one last thing before getting into debate points - overall, while I think Percy and Annabeth have some iffy interactions etc, I don't really hold it against the relationship. I think it's an error on RR and I'd rather spread awareness about unhealthy relationships than tell people not to ship the main couple of PJO who unintentionally have some unhealthy dynamics.

Anyway, I'm putting a break here so that I don't clog anyone's feed

So firstly, the poison issue and making Annabeth cry:

I don't think it's worthwhile to try to blame Percy for making Annabeth cry, because they're in hell. Like, they are both getting hit with one thing after another and it's extremely emotionally hard. So of course she's upset, and in this moment of high emotion and fear and trauma, she asks him to not do something that is incredibly scary. Controlling the water in someone's body is an insanely terrifying thing to witness, so it's not unreasonable to think that in the heat of the moment, she doesn't ever want to see that again. And I'm not sure its reasonable to think she would hold him to that in a life or death situation. She doesn't want him to do something horrific if he can avoid it. But homegirl isn't gonna say "oh my gosh percy that's so scary, promise me you'll never do that again - unless you have to" like that just doesn't fit with the story. So once again I blame RR for his wording of these scenes, because I think if Annabeth is as reasonable as we all seem to agree she is, then she isn't asking him to promise to literally never use his powers against anyone kind of thing. I think I've made my point on this.

Percy being suicidal:

I don't think we should really blame anyone for not seeing suicidal signs. That feels like a really dangerous game to play. If people knew when someone close to them was more or less suicidal, that'd be great. But as it is, so so many of us have lost people because we didn't know. Consider the news - how many times does someone's suicide get followed up with a quote from someone close to them saying "we/I didn't know they were struggling" or "I keep thinking over conversations and rereading texts, blaming myself because I feel like I should have known." People don't know. By the last book, they aren't even in their 20s, so they really shouldn't be burdened with responsibility for each other's suicidal thoughts/tendencies/etc.

Prev says Annabeth should "care enough to check in on him" and claims she doesn't even ask if he's okay. Again, I blame RR for this, because he chooses what content to leave in and take out and when to cut the scene. I don't think it makes sense to say she never checks in on him if the book never specifies that she didn't. For all we know, she asks right after the scene ends, or after the book she goes over every day to talk through everything with him, but RR simply didn't say whether she checked in with him. (Did Percy check in with Annabeth? Did either of them ever technically check in?)

Annabeth likes to keep Percy on his toes:

Prev quotes three passages:

House of Hades, XXII Annabeth POV: "Whenever she brought up Rachel’s name, Percy got nervous. [...] But Annabeth didn’t mind making Percy a little uneasy. You had to keep your boyfriend on his toes."

The Last Olympian Chapter One: "She [Rachel] was so much easier to be around than . . . well, than some other girls I knew. I didn't have to work hard, or watch what I said, or rack my brain trying to figure out what she was thinking."

The Last Olympian Chapter Twenty-Three: "Camp went late that summer. It lasted two more weeks, right up to the start of a new school year, and I have to admit they were the best two weeks of my life. Of course, Annabeth would kill me if I said anything different."

The House of Hades quote seems odd to me, I don't get the value of someone being uneasy or on edge. I sincerely believe this to be another RR fail - trying to make the relationship more of a lighthearted punchline. It feels very much like a ball and chain joke to me and it looks like RR just chose a poor stereotype to align with. If your SO intentionally tries to make you nervous, that's messed up. In this case, I'm still a percabeth shipper because I've erased that from their relationship but irl, if someone intentionally makes you nervous - please get out.

The Last Olympian, Percy saying Rachel is easier to be around than generic "other girls" he knows, and he comments that he doesn't have to "work hard, watch what [he's saying], or rack [his] brain trying to figure out what she was thinking." Again, I think RR was trying to make a statement about Percy and Rachel's relationship and was trying to play to the teen boy side of percy, but ultimately sets up P&A's relationship to be unhealthy. Annabeth is supposed to be highly intelligent, so it's reasonable for Percy to not always understand what she's saying. BUT if your significant other is intentionally making it difficult for you do interact with them or says things to confuse you and trap you - that's not a healthy sign. Please don't stick around if they are treating you that way. I excuse this behavior for Percabeth NOT because its "not that bad" or something. The reason I excuse it for them is because I sincerely believe it to be an error of the author's doing and I erase it from the relationship. But irl, people are responsible for their own actions and I recommend everyone be aware, if these examples describe your relationship, that's not a good sign.

Prev points out that Percy says Annabeth would kill percy if he didn't say the last weeks were good. Prev says he "literally thinks anabeth would kill him". Um, yeah, that's a figure of speech. I think we all know Annabeth is not a violence happy teenager. Again, RR tries to make their relationship lighthearted and make jokes like haha maybe the past 2 weeks weren't really so incredible. But that's still RR. And also think about it. Percy grew up with an abusive stepparent. It's not unreasonable to think he automatically thinks someone will be really mad for disagreeing. This seems like it really is just a joke that fell flat. That doesn't have to speak to Annabeth's character, though it's still not a good sign irl.

Prev also mentions that Annabeth makes the comment about keeping Percy on his toes while in hell, and makes the claim that Annabeth is playing mind games and making things worse for Percy while he's already in a bad situation. Turn that on its head really quick - Annabeth is also in hell and is mentally and emotionally wrecked too. This is what Tartarus does to you. Essentially, this can be chalked up to This isn't real Annabeth. She's more or less insane. Tartarus is messing with their minds, that's why they feel like they can't trust each other and why they want to quit and why they experience all the curses, and so on. (but yes, if you are in a relationship where the other person treats you like this, please be safe!)

Annabeth's spoken opinion of Poseidon:

The quotes are from The Lightening Thief. At this point, Athena and Poseidon are not on good terms and Annabeth reasonably sides with her mom, because 1. she has no reason not to, and 2. she is trying to be on her mom's good side. Also she's 12, doesn't know Poseidon, etc. Like yeah it's not good behavior, but it's not as though she met her in-laws and then complained about them the whole ride home. Like this is a 12 year old complaining about someone she's never met but heard negative things about from her siblings, and then in the 3rd quote she warns Percy that none of the godly gifts come without a cost. That's not targeting his family. She's warning him about something that is true for the entire family.

Percy's self esteem:

TLT: Annabeth volunteers for the quest saying she's "the best person to keep [percy] from messing up". I wouldn't take this quote as far as the prev did, saying she's already saying he'll mess up and that she's his only hope. Here's the thing, they haven't known each other for long. She's right that she knows more about the godly world and her strengths are his weaknesses. She's not wrong and she's not necessarily trying to make him feel badly, but she could have worded it better.

TLO: Annabeth gently corrects Percy on a word he read and tells him what it means. I think if she hadn't told him what it meant, this would be a fine interaction by everyone's opinion. Here's the thing, is there a way for Annabeth to know that it's just dyslexia, or is it possible that she thinks he doesn't know what the word is? If he doesn't recognize the word, it's possible that he doesn't know what it means. For sure she could have told him later, but this could also be framed as her trying to keep him from embarrassing himself later. He is really sensitive to being corrected on his reading, so it would have been kind of her to watch out for how she might be hurting him, but this isn't toxic or intentional.

TLO: Percy rates his cleaning job of his house and Annabeth says he's being generous, marks him a 3/5 and he says he knows better than to argue. Again, I disagree with prev. Prev claims she marks him lower than accurate, that Percy felt good about it and she shot him down, and that Percy doubts his ability to make a good enough argument. I think every person would mark themselves up, of course he thinks he did a good job - because he knows how much work he did. In the meantime, she knows how it should look in order to get a 5/5. That quote doesn't need to be framed to make her sound unkind. Athena has a strong emphasis on justice, and we have no proof Annabeth is trying to mark him down intentionally. As for Percy not arguing back, it doesn't have to be him doubting his ability to make a good argument. They're both stubborn and she's not going to change his rating just because he wants her to. He'd have to prove her wrong. And she's not, so it's not going to be worth the effort.

House of Hades: Reyna says without annabeth, Percy couldn't find his way out of a paper bag. Annabeth says that's true. Percy says hey! I agree that if someone is degrading your intelligence, that's not a good sign. It just occurred to me that as a daughter of Athena, it's plausible to think she and her siblings tease each other about their intelligence and that bleeds over into her relationship with Percy. On the flip side, I also think she should be aware of the fact that he's sensitive to negative opinions about his intelligence. I've said it multiple times already: I blame RR. I really think he does a terrible job remembering all of the trauma he's given the characters and so he doesn't make annabeth sensitive to Percy's trauma because it's essentially been written out of the story. I've written lots about this, go find my other posts if you care. For sure it's a lousy thing for her to agree to, and I would have appreciated it if RR had followed it up with a scene where he mentions it and she apologizes because yeah, that's not a cool way to talk about someone, even though it's technically just a joke that fell flat.

New Rome:

We've already covered that Percy is interested in being in New Rome, that it's the safest place for demigods. He does specifically say he feels torn between being in New Rome with Annabeth and being in NY with Sally, Estelle, and Paul. I agree he's never shown much interest in school but I'm gonna come back to this in a second. Prev asked if I was simply claiming New Rome Uni is catered to neurodivergence or if it was stated in the books. I don't remember the books saying so, but considering that neurodivergence is the demigods' neurotypical, I think it'd be ridiculous to think otherwise. And yes, neurodivergence is their neurotypical - both the greeks and romans commonly have dyslexia, though the greeks lean more into greek and the romans more into latin, but Percy was fine with both so that doesn't really matter in this situation. And the ADHD thing is due to their godly side being prepped for wars, and that's true for both greeks and romans, if not more so for romans, considering how the nature of all of the gods shifts to more warlike on the roman side. So the romans should be just as accommodating as the greeks to neurodivergence. Now assuming the University does cater to neurodivergence, then I'm going to return to Percy's lack of interest in school. So we agree that Percy never expected to live very long, so yeah he probably hasn't been planning a future in depth. However, I'd like to cite personal experiences and close friends and family's experiences and say so so many people have an unpleasant school experience and then get to university and it fits differently. That's not unusual, so it's entirely possible that he'd really enjoy learning in an environment that is built for him.

I'm not sure Annabeth is the only reason Percy is going to Uni. It's reasonable to think Paul and Sally really value him going, considering how Sally went as soon as she had the money to afford it. I agree that it might not be a smart move if he's going just to follow Annabeth, and that he'll regret missing out on time with Estelle. I kind of feel like RR is changing the characters to fit a plot point/plotline. I'm not sure if it's particularly unhealthy for Percy to be leaving NY to stay with Annabeth or if it's just not actively healthy. I really do think this is just a bad call on RR's part. I think Percy's so called "codependance" could also be considered as him not wanting to spend much time apart. I think it would be unhealthy for him to try to talk her out of going, but I think him making the decision for himself that he'd rather be with her at uni than without her in NY is fine.

I think prev makes some good points about NR not being incredibly safe and that NY is home to Annabeth and Percy and it doesn't make much sense for them to pack up their lives and move cross country. Though I'd argue that just because some people aren't interested in moving doesn't mean A&P aren't. I love my family, but I wouldn't mind moving up to a 12 hour drive away from them. As long as I can be back in a day, I'm good. But it's different for everyone. Also I don't recall the details of how New Rome is protected, only that it's supposedly the safest place for demigods. And I'll say it one more time - I think RR screwed up. He's been writing for how long?? Like homeboy has just forgotten and changed his mind and is being less consistent than the fanworks now.

Anyway, thanks to anyone who read all of this. If someone else had posted it, I wouldn't read it haha and if you respond to this, I'll probably take another year to respond oop

So I saw @hermesmyplatonicbeloved 's post and had some thoughts. I agree and disagree. I am a percabeth fan but I also know that some of it is screwy, and if you are familiar with my blog, you know this. I think RR screwed up and wrote out a LOT of trauma, I think he really should have dealt with that better. I think it's not good that he wrote trauma and mental issues and abuse into the foundation of many characters and then has ignored it when it became convenient for the plot.

I would love to see specific quotes and books for these because some of them I have no memory of and would like to revisit them.

I'm gonna talk my way through all of this so I'm gonna text break here

The first point is Percy scaring her to tears. I can only imagine in Tartarus? Like when they're both in their worst state? I don't know. I agree they should have talked about it, but I think they should have talked about all of HoH, which brings me back to saying: Rick really failed at dealing with trauma and processing and long term effects. Honestly, being scared *of* him, yeah I agree that's bad, but is that the situation? If she's scared by his power, then I'm not sure of where I stand on this, I don't know anyone with demigod powers, but I don't think I'd be scared simply because I know someone is capable of hurting me. Plenty of people are capable of hurting me. Like I don't know, what situation is this?

"Percy has been suicidal the whole time annabeth has known him, in BoO Percy attempts suicide and annabeth said nothing, noticed nothing" I'd really like a page or quote because i remember him being suicidal but never attempting. (Im rereading what i wrote, is this maybe referring to percy deciding it would be better if he drowned when hes with Jason? If so, I thought the book said annabeth wasn't told that he wanted to give up) But really my bigger issue with this statement is the fact that it's not necessarily a bad relationship just because a person doesn't realize someone is suicidal, or if their suicidal thoughts are fluctuating. If he's been suicidal the entire time she's known him, how should she know? And why is it the girlfriend's job to stop him from suicide? Like yeah she should care, but that's not her responsibility. No one should feel responsible for a significant other's suicide unless they encouraged the SO to do it.

The judo flip, I agree, annabeth should have been more sensitive to Percy's past and again, I blame Rick for conveniently forgetting that an abused kid is not going to laugh or even take well to being thrown on the ground. This also reminds me of a post I made a while back, because I was so frustrated by media portrayals of women getting upset (usually worried) about another character and shaking them or hitting them or using some form of violence, and that's portrayed as acceptable and normal and as a sign of love. I'm not a fan of that.

"Annabeth likes to keep percy on his toes" this point, I want specific quotes, cause I'd like to go over it again. I agree this is funky. Percy says he feels more comfortable with annabeth and feels like he can talk to her blah blah, but yeah, I think I remember him saying she makes him anxious and that's a problem for me. Like genuinely, to anyone who reads this: if your SO makes you feel uncomfortable, anxious, nervous, or unsafe, please reevaluate your relationship and be safe. That's not good. And back to percabeth, I'm really not sure why RR would say that.

Bringing up abusive stepfather. If annabeth didn't already know about Gabe...I don't know, that says to me that percy was too traumatized to talk about it, in which case, why can annabeth see it in his actions, his comments, his reactions? I don't know that either. But I do know that having met my fair share of traumatized kids, it's not at all uncommon for them to share trauma as a joke and for multiple kids to laugh it off, not to mention suicidal jokes or jokes about their own abuse. Now I want to be clear, I'm not saying that's healthy, I think that's bad, but I also think it's common. And if annabeth doesn't realize what he's really talking about, or is caught up in her own experience, or is uncomfortable, laughing is not an uncommon response. And I don't think that makes their relationship toxic. (And I'm saying it again: I think Rick wrote that so that people could say oh poor percy and feel strongly about how horrible the situation is, but he didn't want to get into the trauma, so by annabeth laughing it off, he can move on with the scene but include little details that show how bad tartarus is)

I don't remember any comments about poseiden, but I agree her interactions with Tyson are problematic. I have zero explanation or excuse, I really don't know what rick was thinking with that, unless it was maybe a way to signify how all halfbloods feel about monsters? (Now that I've said that, that kinda makes sense, if percy sees a monster who was his human friend, but everyone else just sees a monster who is just like the other monsters who have killed their siblings. But still. Annabeth saying he was gross was uncalled for, Rick could have said she was scared or concerned this was a trick or something, but disgust?)

I agree about Percy's unresolved trauma manifesting as fear of annabeth. I already commented on the judo flip, see comments above.

Percy absolutely has horrible self asteem. I'm not sure that's annabeths problem. Yeah she should support him in every way she can, but it's not her responsibility or anyone else's to make him feel better about himself. She should want to, and she should be positive and encouraging, but I don't think Percy's lack of growth is her problem or necessarily a sign of a toxic relationship. It can be, but I'm not certain it is in this case. I think, as I'm sure you know if you've read this much, Rick doesn't know how to write characters who are further along in their trauma- processing, healing, discussing- rick fails to deal with anything besides a currently traumatized kid and a unresolved but out of the directly abusive situation. (This is where I'd like to note, the whole seaweed brain thing, not funny to me, not cute. I'm not a fan because I do think that encourages negative self image. I am aware that that could be link to annabeths childhood, but again, I would expect her to be hyperaware of this sort of emotional abuse. And I blame Rick. Why does she never have her actual abuse mentioned?)

I don't recall annabeth pushing percy to choose between them. I would have said she had doubts about him still wanting to go to CA and he said that he regretted not being there for Estelle but didn't want to be without annabeth (which is kinda cute, kinda codependent to me, and I agree, codependency is not cute)

I would argue the last point "Percy has no interest in going to New Rome or University" is clearly false. In SoN (2nd book of HOO) Percy discovers there are full families living in New Rome, and how it's safe there, and he says multiple times that he wants that, how he remembers he had a girlfriend named annabeth and he wants her to be there and wants to be able to settle down *there*. And in ChaliceotG he's torn, because he does want to stay in New York for his mom and sister, but he really wants to be with annabeth and he loves new Rome. He says multiple times how he wants to go to New Rome. Its true, if the only reason he wants to go is for annabeth, that's a bit funky. But new Rome is the safest place for demigods, and he's been in wars for years, of course he wants that. And wanting to be out of school- okay? New Rome isn't just about the university, not to mention the New Rome university is focused on kids with dyslexia and adhd, obviously. So it will be tailored to him, his struggles are understood, accepted, and aided. Who wouldn't see the appeal in that?

And finally, I agree, that if a character or couple is going to have broad reach, they should be healthy. That's a problem i have with Colleen hoover and all her toxic relationships that have a large audience and are so loved by that audience. And back to this, I hate that the pjo hoo couples are so focused on in the books because fans always pay attention to the couples, but the focus amplifies them, and I think having a relationship be the main focus of a kids/teen/ya book sets up horrible mindsets, and idolizes relationships and all in all is not good for kids. Percabeth or not, healthy or not, I don't think the emphasis on relationships is good.

I might link some of my other posts that I mentioned or that address similar issues in the reblogs

[goose-books]

(original image credit to @/theyshane on unsplash)

a month or so ago the wonderful and very sharp-fanged @yvesdot said i should make a post about the process of Working On A Podcast - what, exactly, does that entail? and so today i set down upon your table a long post about the process of this podcast, its unique struggles, and What Comes Next!

for those of you who are new here: a modern tragedy is my podcast-in-progress, a loose retelling of three of shakespeare’s plays (romeo&juliet, hamlet, and macbeth) set in a modern-day high school. or, alternatively, “so so much drama localized inside a few overlapping friend groups of gay* people”

post under the cut!

tag list (ask me to be added/removed): @piyawrites @harehearts @bisexualorlando @guulabjamuns

*well. gay people and indrajit “macbitch” chopra. never let it be said i don’t have cishet rep 😤

what i mean when i say “podcast”

sometimes when i say, “i’m writing a podcast,” people get the wrong idea - they think i’m going to sit down, maybe with some friends as guest stars, and talk into a microphone for an hour. what i really mean is that i’m writing a fiction podcast - something like an audio drama, if you will.

i’ve had this story concept for a long time (since i realized i was gay, actually. sometime around my coming out i was like “...sapphic romeo and juliet. oh i’m a genius”), but it never really worked as a novel. my inspiration for making it a podcast was the penumbra podcast! which i am not caught up on but which dragged me shirt-collar-first into the world of podcasts. [blowing a kiss to mars] for juno steel.

i will admit that i actually... haven’t listened to a ton of podcasts. mostly because my incredibly helpful attention-deficit brain said listening to things is impossible forever. but let me tell you that starting to write AMT in script format worked immediately. and in hindsight? it makes sense. i mean, i am retelling some of the most famous plays of all time... why not get a little theatrical with it?

the process so far

the podcast is drafted! all 16 episodes of it. all... 176k words of it... only took me a year and a half...

i have my main cast together! AMT has a lot of side characters, not all of whom are cast yet, but my main recurring squad is gathered and i love them all VERY dearly. (also, the population of people i know irl is 75% theater kid. so i think i will be able to figure out the side character thing.)

within the group of voice actors, i also have three assistant directors, a term i use loosely because mostly i just mean… those are my right hand men. the main folks i bounce ideas off of and the main folks i have helping me organize all of this. i’ve said multiple times that i’m just the keyboard monkey and would be hopelessly out of my depth without my beloved assdirectors. (shoutout to @asimpleram, the only one who uses tumblr, you are my best friend and i love you oh so much)

i also have two “bootydirectors” who gave themselves that name and that’s just the people who know the most about recording technology and acting. thanks kings

right now the scripts have been sent out to some sensitivity readers and i am currently editing! (both with regards to sensitivity reader feedback, and also just editing the plot and character arcs in general.) (if you want me to send you AMT and you’re willing to give me your thoughts i will straight-up send it to you honestly just know it’s LONG)

i actually did not consider that writing this might be uniquely hard before i started

fun max tip: if you look too far ahead down the road and realize the breadth of the project you’re taking on you’ll freak yourself out so just dive into things headfirst without checking both ways or considering your actions!!! [i am giving you a double thumbs up from behind my monitor]

i have never written anything like AMT before! it has been an experience! there have been some unique struggles!

working with other people is harder than i expected! which is not about my group, all of whom are lovely people. it is about me and my little OCD rat brain that hates letting go of control. even though... an inherent part of writing a script... is that at some point other people will be involved... wild, i know.

9 main characters! AMT has 9 main characters. this is somewhat excusable because the whole thing is episodic and more like a season of a tv show than a novel. but still. 9 main characters. why did i do that

i’ve never written episodically before, so i’ve had to figure out how to fit the plot into appropriately spaced intervals. there are three running plotlines (one for each play), and they’re all parallel and eventually convergent. so everything’s happening at once and it’s… hard to make episodes that aren’t just “max threw a bunch of scenes together because they were happening at the same time.” (i will admit i’ve defaulted to chronological order when spacing episodes, so the timeline doesn’t get confusing. but i hope each episode is cohesive on its own.)

balancing the tragedy and comedy in tragicomedy has been… interesting. i do to some degree feel like AMT’s gone darker than i initially imagined it; while it’s a high school retelling of these plays (and thus there’s no. there’s no murder. the only person who dies is isaac’s dad and that’s six years precanon), all three plays deal to differing degrees with suicide, among other things, and it felt… disingenuous not to write about that from a modern high schooler’s perspective.

i can guarantee a long-term happy ending for AMT! i cannot guarantee much about what’s in the middle. (there are sixteen episodes; one of my directors likened episode 7 to a five-act play’s third act, when things really start to… hit the fan. he’s right and i’m obsessed with thinking about it that way)

the massive amount of time i have been working on the thing: i started writing this podcast in january 2019. i finished writing it this past summer (2020). that’s two summers that have passed without my recording it (which is obviously easier to organize in the summer… or it was before covid but you get my point). this is… a little disheartening? i don’t know; oftentimes i underestimate how long writing projects will take me. what it comes down to is my urge to put out content vs. my urge to make it perfect…

…especially since i’m technically competing with one william f. shakespeare. (the f is for fucking.) i mean, dear old billy shakes DID write the plot out for me ahead of time, which i appreciate, but still…

AMT is absolutely consumable if you don’t know the first goddamn thing about shakespeare’s works. that said. i assume some of the people who will listen to it are shakespeare enthusiasts, casual or otherwise, and that’s a little terrifying! AMT is a shakespeare retelling, but i’ve made these characters very much my own, and i suppose i worry about how others will approach that, and whether they will disagree with my interpretations, or the way i’ve adapted the plots, and so on and so forth... i just have to live with this one, honestly. i think i could edit AMT for a thousand years and probably still find something to change about it, so i will simply have to get over myself.

that said, i don’t regret the amount of time i’ve spent on it! i think the time i’ve taken to draft and edit these episodes has been well worth the wait; i’m genuinely very happy with what i’ve created, and whether or not you agree with, say, my interpretation of a modern hamlet family dynamic, i hope it’ll still be enjoyable!

so what’s next?

as i said earlier, the scripts are currently in the hands of sensitivity readers, and i’m editing!

over the summer, the cast met on zoom frequently to read through and rehearse scenes. and i will not lie it was the most fucking fun i’ve had this entire wretched interminable year. i am constantly charmed and befuddled by the feeling of Listening To My Words Read Out Loud By A Human Voice and also i love my friends so very much

we have a tentative plan to gather the cast (socially distanced and responsibly, of course) over thanksgiving break to make some actual stabs at recording! i am too afraid to concretely promise AMT Episode 1: Fortune’s Fool by the end of 2020 but like… i’m not NOT promising it! send me your finest vibes. we’re close.

[fahbev]

@whumper-in-training

ok I don’t know how long my caption is allowed to be, but here it is! The promised fan art! I REFUSE to be self-deprecating here because I actually do like these a lot. Basically, I read this amazing story called ACP- The Agency for Cryptids and the Paranormal, (https://whumper-in-training.tumblr.com/post/673130936584568832/acp-the-agency-for-cryptids-and-the) and I totally fell in love with the character of Zak. This STORY MAN! It broke my heart in half and then lovingly stitched it back together, like multiple times, and I think that’s the ESSENCE of a good story. So yeah I made fan art. 

I was in the car on a fairly long trip, and I had my sketchbook, and I was like, hey, what should I draw? Fuck it i’m drawing Zak. So I drew Zak. I originally didn’t want to deal with how the hoodie would work with all the weird perspective and just gave him a tee-shirt, but then I yelled at myself: “COWARD! Draw the hoodie!” And so I erased the shirt and drew a hoodie. I figure that the hoodie in the picrew isn’t how the hoodie actually looks, it’s just the closest approximation you can get with a picrew, so I put an alien on it because yes. While I was drawing it though, I hit a fork in the road with the pose. I was going to draw him with his hand clawed and the other on his hip, but then I was like “what if he had his arm up instead?” And so I made two versions.

I drew werewolf Zak hell ya! I spent FOREVER inking this. Okay if was only like two hours, but inking is kinda boring and thus I procrastinated, and so it took me like three days to ink it. It took much longer than usual Bc I went over each line a bunch of times to make it look like fur/hair/eyelashes, but you can’t even see it Bc the colors are so dark! Argh! Usually color more than doubles the amount of time I spend on a drawing, but this time I just quickly threw down some color in only like an hour! I was so sure I was gonna say, “it’ll be quick” and then spend another six hours on it, because that ALWAYS happens, but it actually WAS quick so yes.

Last but not least, I drew the gang all together! Technically I drew this second, and colored it first, but you get the idea! This drawing filled me with all the happy chemicals the whole time making it y’all. After several hours it kinda wore off, but every time I zoomed in on Max’s face I got a fresh rush of serotonin. I decided to draw that one scene where they all fall asleep together because it was SO WHOLESOME! I wanted to draw the whole group, but didn’t know what kind of context to do. Then I scrolled through the blog, found that scene, reread it and was like “yes! That’s the one!”. And so I drew it. I did have to look up “do Muslim women sleep with their hijabs on?” And i’m glad it was a google search and not asking a real person Bc the response I found was basically: “No, you dumbass! Why would we do that? That makes no sense-” and several sarcastic responses to the same question on Quora and i’m just like: “:’D” I did look into it a bit more and realized the hijab has to stay on Bc while they are like family, they’re still not her mahrams. Also I figure that if I was gonna post this, even if she was alone, drawing her without it would kinda be violating her privacy yk? Like i’m exposing her for the whole internet to see. Kinda like drawing her naked would be. Anyway, I love this drawing, hope you love it too!

Ok, still keep your expectations to an army crawl because I never finish stuff, but fanfic is in the works. I am probably gonna wait until it’s finished to post it though, that way I can edit things and change earlier chapters. Also! I’m a total novice writer! So it’s probably crap! I don’t care! I have this policy that I would always rather make the cringe fanfic, wear the ugly clothing, make the stupid drawings, the cursed memes, shout all the embarrassing shit, do all the dumb things that teenagers do (as long as it’s not harmful or permanent obvi), sing all the bad karaoke, embarrass myself a TON, etc, and regret it later, cringe so hard in ten years, than to never let myself do anything, constantly hold back, never reach my full potential and regret THAT in ten years. Thank you for listening to my TED Talk. I still might very well be too shy to post it though ahhhhh. For some reason i’m WAY more shy online than irl, that makes no sense. Like I can walk up to a random person and talk to them no prob, but I get super anxious going in someone’s ask box. Maybe Bc I can’t read their body and face language like that? Idk. Like I said, just don’t expect anything.

[miekasa]

mie!! since u write such beautiful gorgeous astounding breathtaking life-changing tearjerking fics, do YOU have any good fic recs that you personally love 🤔

I do! I have a whole blog of wonderful fics I’ve read (tho I desperately need to update it/reblog the ones in my drafts and tag them) @ackermeun for more if you want because there are many lovely, talented writers; but I’ll list a few of my faves for Levi and Eren below 😌😌

Levi

kiss me more by @vennilavee

Now, I could recommend you anything and everything by Saran and I have no doubt that you would love all of it. There’s not a single thing in her masterlist that I dislike, she even made me okay with the idea of pegging Levi bye. The entire tbah universe (specifically parental moments one) has a special place in my heart, but recently the perpendicular world has been on my mind, and might be coming for number one. Either way, you’re gonna love it. She writes Levi in his slightly bitchy, kinda needy, implicitly affectionate, true to nature form, and I am so grateful for it. Also, Saran is a comedian. 

silver soul by @oi-levi (now posting from @bibblelevi)

I suck at keeping up with series, and, so, naturally, I’m terribly behind on this one, but I’m gonna go ahead and rec the whole thing to you anyway, because I have no doubt that the other chapters are just as great the two I’ve read so far. The way she writes Levi... when I tell you I could wrap myself up in a blanket and binge this whole series, and her entire masterlist, and be very content I mean it; her writing feels warm, that’s the only way I can explain it. 

the art of tea composition by @karikarasuno

I don’t remember how or when I found this fic exactly, probably just scrolling through the tag, but I love it. Domestic fluff with Levi, allowing me to pretend I’m a morning person, and just the right kind of smut to go with it. Simple and very, very effective. I’ve reread it a few times by now, no shame.

where you’re meant to be by @deludedimagines

After you read this, I also suggest just going after the whole masterlist. I cannot express how grateful I am to have found this blog PLEASE. Her characterization of Levi is perfect, and something about her prose feels very clean and simple, but elevated and layered at the same time. This one-shot in particular is one of my favorite canonverse pieces, I’m a sucker for a classic injured lover trope. 

the ones who matter most by @deludedimagines

Yeah... this shouldn’t be a surprise. Fantastic writing, fluff in canonverse has a special place in my heart because I think it can be really hard to pull off well; it’s difficult to balance a sense of softness within the aot universe for the obvious reasons, and getting Levi’s caring nature right can be (unfortunately) so hard to find. Good thing people like Sorcha are here. Enjoy more fluff. Also this fic is particularly fantastic to me not just because of the injured lover trope, but because the 104th babies pay a visit and you all know how much I love a good glimpse of reluctant adoptive dad Levi hehe

bullet by @jean-does-not-have-a-horseface

If you can’t tell by now, I love canonverse fluff, tho this fic isn’t fluff in the traditional sense, but I think that makes it all the much better. Perfect depiction of real life shit that would go down in the aot world paired with Levi’s need to protect his s/o. It’s fantastic. 

the knife by @therealvalkyrie

I didn’t mean to turn this into Mie’s Favorite Canon Fics Showcase, but here we are anyway. As much as I love a good injured lover trope (and this does have that hehe), I love a good kickass reader insert, too. Shoutout to Valkyrie for included both in this fic, and Levi being proud of his s/o... well you can imagine how much I liked that bye

dante’s inferno by @alrightberries

College au + roommates au with Levi... that should be enough for you to read this lmfao, no but actually it’s adorable. Not to mention friends to lovers... if you know me you know how I feel about that, I’ll gobble up every f2l fic until I’m dead and gone. Not to mention there’s a cat and Levi won’t admit he likes it, or he’s jealous of it. Simply cannot go wrong here. 

waves know shores by @onwiings

Bro I don’t even like the idea of public sex and I’m not even a fan of water like that but this fic has me wrapped around it’s pinky lmfaoooo. Some of the best Levi smut I’ve read and you already know how I feel when Levi and reader have cute interactions with the 104th in fics. Really it’s checking every item on my list. 

Eren

speed racer by @emeren

I’m pretty sure I found this fic during my midterms last semester, and when I tell you I’m so grateful for it lmaooo. It’s really just a good au, I think it fits Eren (honestly barking at just the concept) and the writing brings it all to life. 

under the moonlight by @murmikaa

I’d have to be dumb not to recommend this to you. I love reading longer fics, and if you do, then this will 100% satisfy you. The whole story is great and immersive, not just between Eren and the reader; their relationships with the other characters are really what makes this special imo. There’s also beach sex, so. Obviously it’s good. 

untitled.avi by @puredivinity (now @celestidarling)

Naur you must of thought wrong if you thought at least one of Mara’s fics wouldn’t be here. I’m obsessed, I think I’ve read it three times minimum. I read all her Eren fics, and you should too. She writes him in such a dreamy way, almost like he’s right there and too good to be true that you must be hallucinating. Immaculate. 

midnight snacks by @writertitan

Dumb, college-typical antics and fluff with Eren... obviously you know I’m about that. The whole concept is so mundane, but so cute, you can’t help but fall for it because it could be so real!! I love that kinda stuff hehe 

i’m your satellite by @ackerfics

Comparing hand sizes with Eren!! YEAAAAH!! No, okay, but I read the summary and was ready to dive in because... size kink go crazy, but when I tell you I was so blown away to find out that it was not only from Eren’s pov, but that he was being a complete simp and down terrible the whole time. Normalize boyfriends being completely fucking in love with their gfs that simple shit like the size of their hand makes them wanna simp even harder!!!!

eren as an ass man by @hznji

I’m dying on the hill that Eren is an ass guy and you should too because it’s the objective truth. Fluff, Eren being a complete dog as per usual, Eren’s being touchy (I will also die on the hill that he’s touchy as fuck and has no concept of personal space) and just in genral snarky but cute banter. Gotta love that. 

Jean

tears over beers by @appplepii

When I tell you this is my favorite Jean fic, I mean it. Friends to lovers with hopelessly pining Jean + oblivious reader = everything I could have asked for in a fic, AND it’s from Jean’s pov too!!! INCREDIBLE!!! The pining made me yearn, and the smut was so well done, too. 

this drabble by @arlerted

Whatever, whatever, WHATEVER!!! I DON’T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!!! Cal is right, don’t do drugs but... this mf... this imagine.... has been burned into my mind since the first time I fucking read it bye. Callie also writes a bunch of filthy (affectionate <3) fics and drabbles and lewds and you should read them, preferably when you’re alone and with the lights off. 

[nightlight-stardust-and-rain]

I reread the chapters where they talk about the crimson illness because I had no idea how it worked, and as it turns out, neither does canon ! Literally the only thing we have is that it's inheritable and one guy says it was "a way for the gods to recall Hiryuu to the heavens" (which. Man. I feel like they wouldn't have given him divine protectors if they wanted him back that badly, they would have just let him die, and boom, back to heaven). For all we know it might actually be a regular genetic illness or it might actually come from Hiryuu's wife's side of the family!!

I think a big part of the drama of the illness comes from the fact that it's fatal so making it curable would remove the drama..... But maybe if Suwon was still bonded to Yona sun-healing might be way more effective and prolong his life? Like if Yoon (bonded to Yona) used his sun flames on Suwon (also bonded to Yona in this scenario) it would probably be way better than all other sun-healing... But if Suwon had stayed bonded to Yona there's no guarantee she'd have met Yoon so... Idk

It makes sense that Hiryuu wouldn't be able to bond with just anyone... Also I raise you the reverse : the four dragons can't bond with no sky but Yona (Zeno's the exception because I said he was bonded to Kaya in the original post and I can't go back on it and anyway he's different from the others). They can bond with other elements tho (Shin-ha with Ao, Jae-ha with Gi-gan and a few of her pirate crew, and the hbb all have bonds with each other independently of Yona).

But hm.... Now that I think about it... What if the dragons couldn't bond with other skies - not because they physically can't, but because the "oath" in their blood makes them feel like bonding with any other sky would be repulsive and a betrayal? And Zeno was able to bond with Kaya because he still had a residual bond with Hiryuu and.... And at the time he was pretty deeply depressed (not sure he ever stopped honestly) and very probably blamed Hiryuu both the immortality itself and for not telling him about it. So betraying Hiryuu by bonding with another sky would just be betraying him back would it not? And yes there was some satisfied pettiness when he did manage to bond with Kaya (but mostly he bonded with her because he loved her and he knew that bonding would strengthen her flames thus her health and he knew that when she died he'd have a residual bond to keep the memory of her forever)

(oh wait what if when Zeno saw the other three dragons as kids he accidentally formed a bond with them? That would be so awkward to explain when he "meets" them later..... Unless he can hide those bonds like he could hide from the dragon bond? Maybe the other three feel the flame bond to Zeno but confuse it with the dragon bond?)

I don't think a flame animal can be a guardian and anyway Ao is closer to Shin-ha than to Yona... And actually, based on the fact that Ao seems to try to feed people when they're injured I say she's a sun flame animal ! It's convenient because Shin-ha's secondary is sun even if it's not that strong so with Ao's help he can probably heal people at least a bit! And Ao can help Yoon too! Yoon with flame animal would be the strongest healer. Also since Shin-ha doesn't often use his sun flames to fight (he automatically defaults to sword and his sun's not that strong...) he has a ready-made excuse to make sure Ao stays safe during battle : she has to stay with Yoon to help him heal!

You know before re-reading the crimson illness chapters I had forgotten just how religious the sky tribe was. Flames would definitely be holy...... Maybe to become a priest you need to have awakened flames? I think the religious aspect would differ depending on the place because like... Big cities probably have less flame users on average because there's less danger of starvation/bandits/illness than in small villages... So if it's less common it might be more revered? Meanwhile in smaller communities flames are probably more common thus less awe-worthy... Still a gift from the gods but more in the sense that flame users can use their powers to help with starvation or illness or construction or attacks. Maybe... People in big cities and temples who see flames as holy don't use them much because they are sacred and must be respected and only be used in special occasions... While lower class people in more unstable situations think that since the flames were given to them that means they were meant to be used and use them as much as possible to make life easier - it's holy because it's so damn useful. I do wonder tho.... In poorer villages or communities would flame users be expected or even forced to use their flames for the good of the whole village, not just their family? If they're desperate... And the flame users in these communities would probably have a higher status within the community because they'd be super useful but within poorer communities, "higher status" probably just means "everyone likes them if they're nice and tries to stay in their good graces if they're not".

You know, I had thought of nobles putting themselves in danger to awken their flames and thus gain a higher status but they probably wouldn't put themselves at risk.

The fire tribe would tho. This is perfect for Taejun!! He would overcompensate so hard for the lack of flames.

Scholars in Kouka probably know more about flames but actually I think there might not be that much structure regarding flame use in Kouka. Like, in KHR, people use their flames in similar manners because they've all been taught the mafia way of using them. But Kouka doesn't seem to have a wide-spread education system, so knowledge about how to use your flames would probably be very different depending on the place. Like... If you're in a tiny village and there's no one to teach you how to use your flames you're just gonna do whatever feels right. Kija's village for example is so isolated they probably have very unique flame traditions. Soldiers are probably taught how to use flames in a different ways from priests. I think it would be a wild hodgepodge of different ways to use flames! Like, if a village has a set way to teach how to use flames... But then a plague wipes out everyone who knows how to use them... The next one to awaken flames has no one to teach them so they have to make it up! Like, in big cities they probably have a standard way to use flames but I don't think everyone in Kouka knows how to read or has access to books so not that many people outside of the big cities would know the Official Way to use flames. You can probably encounter totally new ways to use flames if you travel for a few days.

Akatsuki no Yona KHR au !!

(as in, akatsuki no yona cast with flames, not KHR cast in a akatsuki no yona universe)

(althought Hayato would totally be Hakuryuu, right?)

(oh and also spoilers for chapter 100 and beyond of the manga? I really liked this reveal so I don't want to ruin it for anyone else)

Anyway. Moving on. Our favorite kids and one multi-centennial kid with flames!

Yona is quite obviously the sky. Both because she's almost the textbook description of it and because she's the main character. She's also a little bit of a storm too! Not enough to be like Xanxus but. Still a little bit of a storm.

Hak is a Storm! With, like, a big chunk of cloud thrown in there. He's Yona's storm!

(Su-won is a mist. And a sky, too. Hak was his cloud and Yona was his storm and Su-won was Yona's mist and the betrayal torn them up inside they've lost their sky they've lost their mist it hurts it hurts it hurts)

Yun is a sun! Took quite a while to bond with Yona (he didn't experiment Fated Instant Bonding like the dragons did hahaha) but he's definitely Yona's sun now! (and may regret it sometimes. All those idiots he has to look after!)

Kija is... Also a storm hahaha and a little bit of a rain but! Mainly a storm ! It uh didn't help when he met Hak...... Because Kija thought he was going to be his master's storm except oof here comes Yona and she already has a storm........ Who's really really strong...... In the end they're both Yona's storm but Kija still has some insecurities about his place in this harmony :(

Shin-ha is the rain of the group! Also a little bit of a sun..... But 90% a rain. His father predecessor Ao was a cloud, they had a element-to-element bond, no sky involved. Ao the squirrel is actually a flame animal ! :) even if Shin-ha never allows him to help in battles..... He worries......

Jae-ha is a Mist! And also a cloud. The mist part wins out by a narrow margin. He also has some lightning flames but not much. Mists aren't the most trusted of individuals so he pretends to be a lightning most of the time (the hair color helps). Yona and Hak and the group thought he was actually a lightning until he bonded with Yona as her Mist guardian and uuuuh there is some baggage here (having another mist guardian so soon after Su-won's betrayal was... Maybe too soon). They work it out together (Jae-ha is actually relieved Yona is also having trouble with the bond. It feels like they're more equal that way).

Zeno is.... Actually a cloud hahaha. Also a rain and a lightning! He's got some flames attached to him that aren't actually his, too his Kaya was a sun-sky and his Abi was a cloud and his Shuten was a storm and his Guen was a lightning and his Hiryuu was their sky and he was their rain and they're all there with him but yeah it's pretty surprising that he's the cloud guardian but... It fits.

His incredible regeneration is partly because of his cloud flames : he's immortal because of the dragon's blood, not because of his cloud side but he heals much faster if he uses his flames. He can also activate his dragon abilities faster by propagating his injuries and making them worse so the scales can appear sooner (the happy hungry bunch doesn't likes to think about it, but Zeno has definitely used this ability for self-harm). Before, he was a rain first and then a cloud and then a lightning. Now he's a cloud and then a rain and then a lightning. Having to defend his his sky's whole territory all by himself for a while definitely brought out the cloud tendencies. Also. He's lived an overall pretty traumatic life, that can change people.

People often mistake Hak for Yona's cloud guardian but really who would think that this little ball of sunshine if the cloud in this harmony?

Snippets :

Yona doesn't have a lightning yet so Zeno and Jae-ha kind of fill in that role? Sorta. They feed their lightning flames into their harmony so it can be more stable.

Shin-ha is the rain in this harmony but Zeno was a rain in a much rowdier harmony before so he gives out advice about how to deal with the flame bond and how to use his flames sometimes (Shin-ha doesn't minds and often seeks out the advice. Zeno is, in fact, the first other rain he really talked to. And Shin-ha sort of.... Never really used his flames a lot. So he doesn't really knows what he's doing. But Zeno is probably the person who's been dealing with flames the longest. His advice is good)

(Shin-ha has never seen a broken element before. Zeno was a rain and now he's a cloud and he's a bit broken. He's sewed back together. But he will never be a rain again, not fully. Shin-ha thinks it's sad)

Zeno's rain flames are, despite everything, still pretty damn powerful. When he's with Shin-ha, they tend to kind of leak out and it's genuinely impossible to stay pissed off within a 50m perimeter of these two. They just fucking radiate contentment and quiet happiness. Many a conflict has been solved by having the upset person sit between Zeno and Shin-ha.

Hak, being also a cloud, or at least basically one, is pretty damn possessive (just like in canon honestly) so the fact that Yona had another storm like.... Right fucking after he lost his second sky and fellow element felt. Hmmm. Nope. There was a very real hostility towards Kija for a while, and then he realized that resentment was pointless and clearly teasing Kija was funnier than being pissed at him (this realization also maybe involved a long conversation with Yona).

Three clouds (or, well one cloud and two sorta-clouds) in one group sound like nightmare material but Zeno, Hak and Jae-ha make it work. Hak and Jae-ha are different kinds of clouds : Hak is the possessive kind while Jae-ha is the freedom-obsessed kind. Zeno's just weird. Despite having been a primary cloud for a while, he retains a lot of rain mannerisms and he's never been that agressive anyway. He actually ends up meditating arguments a lot. And anyway he just wants to protect his people.

Zeno has the finest of all controls. Both on his cloud temper and on his flames. He has had a lot of time to hone his fine motor skills. He's not that practiced at devastating attacks because with the amount of flames he has he would have wiped out part of the country if he tried to release all his flames at once. He's cautious okay! He does have cloud rages but those are usually turned inwards... Or at the environment. Tearing himself apart is not exactly pleasant but..... It's not like he'll die (oh sweetie no). Him being "chained" to earth, unable to follow his loved ones to heaven, is also part of what made him into a cloud ; his cloud flames rebelled so much against this perceived offense that they ended up outgrowing his rain flames.

Zeno is just really damn good at fine control and ends up teaching this kind of stuff to almost everyone in the group (Yun was already pretty good at that, you gotta be precise to heal!) because not gonna lie they were all pretty much kinda just shoving their flames at the enemies and yeah that works but come on be imaginative there are so many possibilities

Ironically, the one who gets the most out of these lessons is Jae-ha. It's ironic because Mist is pretty much the only element Zeno has never experimented firsthand or by proxy, but somehow he still gives excellent advice.

Zeno uses his flames to make pretty fireworks and it's a fucking revelation for everyone who thought flames were only for practical uses (Zeno's had a lot of time to think up ways to entertain himself).

Money's much less of an issue than in canon (not that I remember it being a big issue, but they can certainly buy what they need now) because they have three people with cloud flames in the group and they can just multiply their money. Same with their food, actually (once Zeno duplicated enough food to feed an entire village).

Shin-ha's better with his flames than he is with his dragon power. His flames are just so much less scary.... They slow up people..... Calm them.... It's nice..... (also his flames are significantly less haunted than his power).

Jae-ha is actually not that good at using his mist flames. He just never really practiced? But he's getting better.

Jae-ha's predecessor Garou was a broken cloud. Completely shattered. A lot of Ryokuryuus are clouds because of their desire for freedom, so being chained up is an actual nightmare. Jae-ha never really forgot the horror of being too broken to fight for his freedom, and he's really scared that Zeno, who already broke once, may break again and not recover this time. He's amazed Zeno managed to recover so well from breaking, but man he's actually scared shitless of Zeno breaking again when they're all dead and just having to live with this absolute suffering, unable to die. It quite literally keeps him up at night.

Zeno has already lost two skies (Hiryuu and Kaya) and one set of elements and he's really trying very fucking hard not to think about what losing all these new people will do to him.

Kaya was also a sun. This helped her live longer, and Zeno used his cloud flames to propagate her healing and his rain flames to calm her pain and his lightning flames to make her body sturdier and all in all, they had a few more decades together than they had in canon.

Please feel free to add!