#anyway i needed to be asleep literally yesterday im busy these ides of march!!!!! anyone reading this: mwah! i love u stranger! goodnight<3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cashmere-caveman · 2 years ago

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rewatching being human in my twenties and after getting my brain thorougly scrambled by various things both in my personal life and the media ive discovered in the years in between is so funny bc back when i was an angsty fourteen year old i was like "oh my god they were in love and all was well but then it Turned Bad OHMYGOD i love tragedy"

and now i am older than both annie and mitchell were at their points of death and i am steadily approaching george's age and now i do stuff like look for motifs and patterns etc instead of just going "oh wow all of these ppl are so hot i am definitely bisexual" (even tho i still do that. do not be deceived.) bc i am now Older Smarter and Wiser (joke) and i just fucking love picking things apart at the seams to see the scaffolding holding up the theatre stage and make myself violently ill about it but at the bottom of it all behind all the ways in which i am telling myself that i am so much more chill about everything this time around it is actually Worse and i just think that is so funny

me and my teenage self are just holding hands juming up and down in the living room and screaming "can you fucking believe it oh my god they were in love and all was well but then!!! it Turned Bad!!!! OHMYGOD i love tragedy :D" and honestly i fucking love that! i love revisiting old fandoms and realizing not only is the love i had for this story still here but since i last visited it has festered and grown and now i actually have so many more ways to express it like!!!!! babes!!!!! isnt it FUN!!!!

#cavetext #genuinely it brings me so much joy to dive into things that i feel like i was very cringe about as a teen #and just enjoying them wholeheartedly on purpose w new fervor #hell yes i was right to love this back then and even though i might see more of the flaws this time around #i also feel like i am able to find new aspects and angles of appreciation that sort of unlocked w becoming older as u learn and live #and it is so interesting to see my younger self again bc i remember how i felt abt this the first time around #and it is so cool to map out wht has changed and what has stayed the same not just abt the ways in which i perceive a piece of media #but also about myself! how have i grown and changed from the person i was back then and what is still as it was?#something something making peace and friends w ur inner child etc etc. i love rewatching. to quote that one poem: i love u. im glad i exist #is this coherent? it doesnt matter babey! this is abt joy and being glad to be alive and loving media abt tragic codepentent friendgroups!#anyway i needed to be asleep literally yesterday im busy these ides of march!!!!! anyone reading this: mwah! i love u stranger! goodnight<3

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