#anyway i need y'all not to talk to me for the next 5 working days because ao3 gave me HELL with the superscript formatting i'm TIREDDDD

[fearandhatred]

C by fearandhatred (6k words, 1/1 chapters)

Crowley's time with Jesus dredges up an old wooden box of memories 3000 years past—a flood, a reckoning, and lives lost. And in the box are two other things, one of which is a braided lock of her own hair, straw-like from dried-up rainwater, and hacked off violently and unevenly at the edges.

*don cheadle voice* boom, you looking for this?

it is finally here... the mesopotamia–golgotha fic! this is intended as a sequel to my golgotha fic, via dolorosa. also if you see the very tiny stitches of colour on his clothes and on the C in this drawing... they're surprise tools that will help us later :)

please go check out the wonderful art my beloved @knifeforkspooncup made for me!! i have probably racked up five hours of screen time just looking at it if we're being honest here. thank you loml <3

also this idea came my way because of this post and the lovely (life ruining) additions by @idliketobeatree and @eybefioro. this fic is for u two <3 (i also eventually realised that my original post was factually incorrect but hey it birthed this fic so! happy accidents!)

[fairydustblossom]

losing control {part 4}

azriel x reader

summary: you and azriel have been best friends for decades. giving romance a chance takes some time to figure out.

category: angst, slow-burn, friends-to-lovers (kinda)

word count: 3.5k

warnings: none i think

Notes: i cannot believe it took me a month to finish this up. i apologize for the wait and i thank you all for being so patient! life got super busy for a second there and also i just was not liking this chapter at alllll. but i finally do! it's a good set up for the next few parts which im so EXCITEDDD to write!!! as always /please/ let me know y'alls thoughts i love hearing them,,,, anyways enjoy :)

{part 1} | {part 2} | {part 3} | {part 5}

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Half the night you tossed and turned filled with longing and regret and the other half you felt your anger reignite. The back and forth of your emotions leaving you rattled and unsure of what to do next. 

When morning came, you felt like shit. Dark bags under your eyes, face a greyish color, eyes bloodshot red and hair a mess. You stared at yourself in the mirror feeling the weight of the day ahead. You had to go to training and more than likely see Azriel, you knew he wouldn’t skip it, after that you had a meeting with Rhys, and then you had to work all day at the library. A sigh left you as you thought of the long day ahead and all the responsibilities you had when all you wanted was to curl up in bed and sleep the day away. The thought of you and Azriel ending  made you want to drop to your knees. If the possibility of that made you want to weep, you couldn’t imagine what seeing him today would do to you.

Closing your eyes you managed to quiet all your thoughts and started breathing in and out, telling yourself that Azriel hadn’t broken up with you last night. This was just a disagreement and everything would work itself out… You repeated this to yourself until you finally felt determination settle over you. Determination to work this out, to not let it consume you, and especially to not let Azriel see how much he had affected you. If he was going to act the way he did last night, cold and distant, then you would act the same. 

So with one last look at yourself in this state, you turned around and started getting ready for the day. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Every bone in your body begged you not to go to training. Your body was sore, thanks to Azriel, and the sleepless night did little to soothe your body. But you wouldn't give Cassian any reason to hold skipping for a second time this week against you, and most importantly, you wouldn't let Azriel get in the way of your duties to the Night Court. You owed much to Rhys.

As you walked into the training pit, you immediately noticed the Shadowsinger's presence. His back was turned to you as he adjusted the wraps on his hands. He continued what he was doing but you could tell by the slight twitch of his wings and the movement of his shadows that he knew you had walked in. 

You wondered if he wished you had stayed back, if he wanted to see you, or if he simply just didn’t care. By the way he carried himself, it seemed like the latter. You fought against the pain blooming in your chest. You always wanted to see Azriel. Right now, all you wanted was to touch him, hug him, and rest your head in the space between his wings. But you were starting to realize your feelings for Azriel were stronger than his. Was he not filled with the same need as you? The realization came to you late in the night as you replayed the argument, the way he had looked at you, talked to you.

There was no doubt in your mind anymore that you felt more for him. 

Training went by agonizingly slow, your heart never slowing down, your mind never letting you forget Azriel was nearby. You had tried sneaking looks at Azriel, hoping to catch him staring at you, but he seemed unbothered by your presence, never sparing you a glance. 

You couldn’t understand how he could just turn off his emotions like this. You knew becoming involved with your best friend, as emotionally challenged as he was, would be difficult, and you were aware his profession relied on detachment of emotions but how could he act like you meant nothing after having consoled you just the night before? After showing you how much he cared for you. It didn’t make any sense and you felt that you were being toyed with.

Azriel was trying very hard to stay focused on his workout. He was ready to be done for the day, not wanting to be near you any more than he had to. He felt ashamed and embarrassed at his actions from the night before, and quite frankly he had not gathered the courage needed to talk to you. During all of training, his mind kept racing with thoughts of what to say to you, jumping from one thought to the other. Azriel felt all over the place and nowhere closer to finding the words to better explain his actions. He tried keeping his eyes off you, knowing he wouldn’t be able to carry on with his day if he saw how you looked. Instead he relied on his shadows’ descriptions of you- whispers of the bags under your eyes, the frown on your face, the looks you were sending his way- which didn’t aid his overthinking.

He wanted to comfort you, to hold you, but knowing he had been the reason why you felt this way made him feel sick. Training felt like torture, his self-deprication not letting him get the relief he seeked from a hard session. Deciding he was better off in solitude today, he started getting ready to leave. He figured if he could just get away from you, the smell of you, the whispers of his shadows, he could think of an apology. All night he had replayed the possibility of telling the inner circle, of becoming official, and he couldn't escape all the negative outcomes his mind had come up with. He needed to figure out an apology that would not compromise his belief in remaining private for as long as possible- until he felt assured that nothing would go wrong.   

Finishing up your last set of drills, you looked over at Azriel for the countless time that day. He was stretching, having just finished his drills as well, and the anger building up in you took over. You started walking towards him as everyone else headed out and his shadows rushed around him, probably letting their master know you were walking over. He looked from his peripheral view to confirm and straightened up, turning his back to you and starting to walk away to the changing rooms. 

You were livid. The way Azriel had ignored you during training irked you in a way you had never experienced before. You had never been this angry at him. You understood the way the conversation went last night wasn't the best but he didn't have to ignore you. All morning you kept trying to make eye contact with him and he had refused to meet your eyes. And the way in which he walked away when he saw you headed towards him right now fucking hurt. 

The way he was treating you hurt. Never had you felt so little and unimportant to Azriel and although you had promised yourself you would be as cold and distant as him, your anger had other plans and you were not going to stand by this treatment, not from him. 

Trying to catch up to his long strides you marched after him into the changing area

pushing the door open.

"Azriel" you said stopping a few feet away, his shirt was already off, back facing towards you. You ignored the tightness around your throat and the conflicting emotions rising within you as you tried to not stare at the sweat gleaming down his back, his wings in all their majesty. 

His wings twitched while the rest of his body went still at the mention of his name. He didn't respond which caused a scoff to bubble out of you. You were in complete disbelief. This did not feel like your Azriel. This dynamic between you two was completely new. 

"Are you really just going to ignore me?" You asked, anger coating your voice. 

He remained quiet and took a deep breath. Internally he was a mess. He didn't want to say anything that would make things worse than he already had last night. He felt if he opened his mouth he would completely ruin everything and he was trying his hardest to not let that happen by remaining silent. He knew he was being unfair to you, but he had already hurt you last night and he felt unworthy of even being in the same room as you.

You however were not understanding that. All you could see was his cool mask of indifference. 

"I'm just confused, Azriel. I don't understand what's happened. I believe what I asked for isn’t unreasonable, considering we've been doing this, whatever you want to call this, for over half a year. I don't understand your reaction." 

You wanted to plead with him, beg him to turn to you to listen to you, to love you. You wanted to cry and have everything be alright. But you wouldn't. Instead you straightened yourself up and narrowed your eyes.

"Azriel, turn around." you said in a low voice. 

Azriels fists tightened in response, you could see his knuckles turning white.

"Azriel. turn. around. Look at me, I'm trying to talk to you. This feels weird, this isn't us. " Your voice softened, exhaustion and pain taking over you now. "I want to talk through this." 

Azriel turned around, your belly fluttering with hope. You were sure if you could just discuss this, everything would be okay. Your eyes met for a second and you thought you saw sadness in his eyes when he looked at you but you blinked and his walls were back up. 

"I don't want to talk right now Y/N" he grumbled, dismissing your attempts at fixing the problem. 

"Then when Az? When are we going to talk? Why can't we just work this out right now? Why does it have to be a thing? Just talk to me Az." Your breathing was getting more agitated with every word you spoke, his silence cutting deeply. Still, you carried on

"I’m sorry for the words I chose last night, for how it came out but… What did you mean last night? You are enough for me, I don’t ever want you to think that you can’t give me what I need. I know you can. You already give me everything I want. I don't see how telling our friends would change anything between us." 

"It would change everything, don’t you see? It already has" he said, becoming just as irritated as you. He was over this conversation, he didn't want to have it right now, not when he still hadn't found the words to explain his feelings. Gods he hadn't even been able to tell you he loved you . He wanted to do that before having to tell everyone. 

"How Az? How?" You almost shouted, your patience running out, you were ready to argue it out. 

Suddenly the door opened, Cassian walking in muttering about forgetting something when he abruptly stopped, noticing the tension in the room. He could see both you and Azriel breathing heavily, your fists were clenched and Azriel's shadows were mostly covering him, swarming frantically. The way you both stood looked like you were engaged in an argument and he raised an eyebrow. 

"Everything okay?" He asked. He looked at Azriel's face, set on a scowl, and then at yours, noticing the tears lining your eyes and your cheeks flushed pink. “What’s going on?” he tried again when he was met with silence.

Azriel held your gaze before muttering “Nothing” and winnowing away. 

You and Cassian stood in the changing rooms staring at the spot Azriel had just stood in. 

You blinked the tears that had welled up away trying to not let Cassian see but it was too late. He could see the state you were in and he knew he had just interrupted an argument between you and his brother. An oddity, given how close the two of you were. What could his brother have said to have you at the point of tears? Cassian started asking “What happe-” before you cut him off “I don’t want to talk about it Cass.” and then you winnowed away, going to your meeting with Rhys. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In front of you stood your high lord and one of your best friends, Rhys. Immediately you wished you had winnowed somewhere else to compose yourself, Rhys could read everyone in the inner circle in a matter of seconds. There was no way he wouldn’t notice your current state. Your red rimmed eyes and your heaving breathing. 

He took in your appearance for what felt like forever, but was really a matter of seconds, and raised his eyebrows in a questioning look.

You shook your head, letting him know you didn’t want to talk about it. He gave you a look that said he was sorry, but wasn’t going to let it go. 

“Not only as your high lord, but as someone who cares very dearly for a friend, a friend that I consider family, you know I have to ask. What’s wrong?” he asked, going around his desk and leaning against it, arms crossed waiting for your answer. 

You rolled your eyes “Really Rhys? You’re gonna pull the high lord card?” 

He scoffed and shot you a smirk “Here I was thinking I was pulling the family card”

That made a small smile appear on your face. You knew Rhys was just worried and it wasn’t fair to take out your frustrations on him. If he showed up at your office in the same manner you would also ask.

“I’m sorry… just… feeling a little scattered. I didn’t mean to snap” 

“My dear Y/N, you have been snapping at me since the day we met. I do not hold that against you. However, I will hold it against you if you keep things from me that are clearly disturbing you. I heard you missed training this week, I also heard you used your powers against Cass… and now you are showing up to our meeting, quite frankly, looking like a mess. So, what’s really been going on?”

You sighed and sat down across from him, head falling between your hands. “I can’t tell you”

At this Rhys stood a little straighter, eyebrows drawn in confusion. “You do realize one of my top spies telling me she can’t tell me something is cause for concern” 

Your eyebrows rose in alarm “I don’t mean it like that Rhys, you know I tell you everything of importance. It’s just… it’s personal” 

He sighed and went to sit next to you, placing an arm around you. “Alright… I won’t press you if you really don’t want to talk. Just know you can always come to me”

You leaned into his side and whispered “I know Rhys, thank you.”

He squeezed you into his size letting you rest there for a few minutes before proceeding with the meeting. 

“As you know, we will be hosting a gala at the end of this week, it will be a chance to celebrate the alliances we have built after the war and for the courts to further strengthen relationships with one another. Eris is coming to stay with us for the next few days. Now that Beron’s rule is over, I have offered our courts help to Eris. I intend for the Autumn Court’s new High Lord to have as smooth a transition as possible, otherwise all our work to remove Beron was for nothing. Hopefully, in return, Eris will help us when it is time to change the ways of the Hewn City and fully be the Night Court we all dream of. Now, I need you to keep an eye on Eris. I have no reason to doubt his loyalties, but one can never be too careful. I have already told him you will be there to help with anything he needs.” said Rhys, concentrating on some documents on his desk. 

“I have to babysit Eris?” you muttered, crossing your arms. You had learned to not hate the former heir, he had proved himself to the inner circle and he was often around, strategizing with Rhys and whatnot. He had asked for Mor’s forgiveness, and everything had for the most part been worked out. However, Azriel still despised Eris. The High Lord's attempt to right his wrong has done nothing to diminish Azriels’ distrust in him. Naturally, due to your proximity to the Spymaster, you had kept a professional distance from him. Never actually becoming friendly with Eris.

“If that’s what you wanna call it, yes.” Rhys looked at you with a glimmer in his eyes “But I like to think of it as giving you the honor of being an extension of me for the next couple of days” he said, shooting you a grin, knowing you would like the sound of that.

A laugh burst out of you, “Alright Rhys, you don’t have to butter me up. You know I’ll do it, shouldn’t be too bothersome. Eris hasn’t been a problem for some time” you drifted off “Although, I do I wonder how Feyre will react when I tell her I’m an extension of her husband” you joked, standing up and walking towards the door.

Rhys chuckled, muttering about the kind of trouble you would get him into. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Cassian felt weird about the interaction from earlier with you and Azriel. He was running the events of the past weeks in his head and he felt that there was something he was missing. He thought of your skipped practice, of your outburst during training, of Azriel’s mood at the debrief the other day and what he had just walked in on. 

Clearly he hadn’t walked in on nothing, regardless of what Azriel said. Set on finding his brother, he wandered around the places Azriel usually frequented. He found him on his balcony, face in concentration, leaning his body over the railings, wings drooped, and shadows swarming around him in chaos. It had been a long time since he had seen his brother so out of sorts. 

Cassian landed a few feet away from Azriel and approached him cautiously. Azriel looked at him from the corner of his eye and stood up straighter. “I want to be alone right now Cass.” Azriel said, trying to harden his voice to deter Cassian from trying, but Cassian knew his brother. He could hear the mask covering his turmoil.

Cassian sighed and went to stand next to Azriel. “What’s going on, brother?”

Azriel huffed and muttered “I said I wanted to be alone”

Cassian grinned at him “Since when do I follow orders from you?” 

Azriel rolled his eyes but didn’t try to argue with Cassian, he knew there was no point. The general wouldn’t be leaving yet. 

At Azriel’s silence, he continued. “Brother, we have been there for each other our entire lives. I am not going to leave you alone when I can so clearly see something plagues your mind.”

Azriel debated for a second telling Cassian what was wrong, he wanted to ask how Cassian navigated his relationship with Nesta. How he was able to put aside the fears and worries of things going wrong, of Nesta getting hurt because of him, but he reminded himself that Nesta was Cassian's mate. The bond tethered them to one another, and the risk of things not working out was significantly less, given that the Mother had decided they were meant for each other. No matter how many times he had prayed to the mother, you weren't his mate. He didn’t have that same level of assurance, Cassian wouldn't understand.

“I’m fine Cass, just thinking about work” Azriel said. He figured that excuse would satisfy Cassian, it wouldn’t be the first time work consumed him and had such an effect on him.

Cassian narrowed his eyes at Azriel before asking “Is that what you and Y/N were arguing about? Work?” his tone letting Azriel know that he didn’t fully buy it. At the mention of your name Azriel’s shadows became agitated again, the Shadowsinger having to reign them in from becoming a frenzied mess. He cooled his expression, hoping Cassian hadn’t caught any change in him.

“We weren’t arguing” Azriel stated, looking at Cassian in the eyes briefly before setting them back on the horizon. 

Cassian scoffed “Az she was literally about to cry. Y/N always tears up during arguments. I heard some arguing before walking in, that’s why I walked in. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you two argue. What happened?”

Azriel’s jaw tensed. His chest hurt at the thought of you crying. At the thought of him making you cry. He felt that he was only making things worse. He had to fix things with you, he just needed to figure out how.

Azriel ignored Cassian and turned to walk away “I have some work to catch up on. I’ll see you tonight at dinner” he said to Cassian before winnowing away. 

Cassian was left standing there wondering what the hell was going on between you and his brother.

taglist: @acotarxx @fall-myriad @moonlwghts @fictionalmenloversblog@kennedy-brooke@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @rebs2210 @angelshadowsinger @sstrohma @lahoete @alohaangels @fanboyluvr @thelov3lybookworm @hyemishii @thewarriormoon @reiincarnatiion-blog @gretavanbobatea

[etheries1015]

BOOK 7 SPOILERS BELOW

I finally decided to suck it up and catch up with twst book 7, I stopped after seeing Silver cry because I'm sCARED OF BEING SAD 😭😭 anyway here's a few reactions I had to it 😭

And hearing about the update coming soon-ish to ENG servers I really need to read up

Lilia pressuring Epel like the old man he is 😭😭 I love the moments that they remind us just how old Lilia actually is and how he sees most if not all the students as if they were his children/grand children, making sure they get the most out of the party and drink...its giving "What do you mean you're not hungry? Absolutely not. Here Is at least 5 servings of whatever dish I made to help u grow big and strong."

Okay I didn't take a screen shot of it but the entire section where Lilia looked kind of guilty with Ortho about exchanging addresses because you just KNOW he probably isn't gonna check in, presumably because he doesn't want anyone to get More attached to him seeing as he is nearing the end of his life span (crying shaking throwing up)

THIS. THIS. THIS INTERACTION HE HAD WITH US. I LOVE HIM. I AM SO SILLY FOR HIM. I totally forgot I changed my in-game name from my nickname to my REAL name and when he said my name I verbally yelled "WHAT THE HELL" before giggling and kicking my feet hehehehe I'm clinically insane for him

But the fact that he acknowledged us as Malleus friend probably means we've spent a lot of time at the dorms or around Lilia for him to see how our friendship and interactions with him work, and it melts my heart hehe. Being part of the diafam fr. But honestly bro back me up, I'm tired of being called a hench-human 😭💀

I wonder just how bad we must look with everyone noticing the strange shift??? Either we REALLY made a scene (tripping over, going pale) or the twst boys are just that attentive to us and I think that is the sweetest thing ever 😭😭 Ace and Deuce is so sweet for thinking of us and trying to get us out while also being polite to the people who kindly held the party. Despite not being there long, ace and deuce is willing to skip out on free food and drinks in order to make sure you're okay and I'm just 😭😭 ANGELS. I LOVE THEM.

But also the way Lilia worries for you is so sweet 😭💜 I should write a fic of sick reader and Lilia, or reader trying to tough it out because I know for a FACT Lilia would not let that slide! (Hypocrite 😐)

I ACTUALLY DROPPED MY JAW WHEN SEBEK SAID THIS SHIT. I WAS. WHAT. WHAT THE HELL LMFAOOOOO 😭 thats fucking insane bro I actually found myself chastising him thru the phone, I would NOT let that discrimination against humans bullshit pass fr 😭 slap him right upside the head and give him a stern talking to. I like seeing Lilia get frustrated, he's so cute and UGH. Although it went in one ear out the other, Seeing Lilia mad is so hot if I'm being real with y'all rn BUAHAHA.

I didnt screen shot this either (and I can't fit anymore photos on this post smh) but Silvers nose being red and obvious he was crying but Lilia confused. DudE OF COURSE he was crying!!! You're his dad!! You raised him since he was a baby, he's just now going into adulthood and doing that WITHOUT HIS DAD who is going to a far away land! Sure, traveling is a thing , but honestly nothing beats having that support just a moments away. Silver is literally the sweetest and wants to support his dad , but who's going to support him????!?! Lilia is putting him in a position where Silver feels the need to be strong and hide his tears for Lilias sake, but of course this is hard on him, its so sudden, too! Being so close to your parent and next thing you know mere days later they are stripped away from your arms?!

I just want to give them all hugs. Lilia obviously has some issues and misconstrued ideas of love (a million people have made posts and comments on this, so I will not repeat it) and I just. Need them to all sit around and be their mediator while we go thru their emotional states.

Ugh. I was in my twst burnout stage and still low key am, but fuck does it spark so much passion in you 😭😭

[sissylittlefeather]

Let's Forget About the Stars: Chapter 5

A/N: Sorry this took me so long! Real life is kicking my ass, y'all. Anyway, this is another installment of Elvis and Dove Morningstar. No smut this time, just enough tooth-rotting fluff to give you diabetes. I hope y'all enjoy it!

Need to catch up? Masterlist HERE.

Warnings: none really, period-appropriate racial tension/jokes

Word count: ~2.1k

Gladys shoots the Colonel a look. If she has it her way, they'll be married by spring. Little does she know, Elvis has the same plan.

******

October comes and goes with a trip to California. November begins with Dove and Elvis in Hawaii. Their love for each other grows with each passing day and Elvis becomes more and more determined to make her his wife. Somehow, they still don't have sex, despite the hotel stays and nights at Graceland in between. For the moment, they're content with her using her hand and him using his mouth. They both become more practiced with time and they fall into a bit of a routine. It's not something they're bored with, by any means. If anything, they're happier together as they get more comfortable with each other.

As Thanksgiving approaches, Elvis has an idea. One night as they lay in bed together he decides to take a chance.

"Hey, Dovey. Are you going home for the holiday?" He asks, his eyes as innocent as he can make them.

"Yeah. My family has a big dinner. I've never missed it."

"What if I... what if I came with you?" She looks at him curiously.

"Wouldn't your parents miss you?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess I didn't think about that. I just don't really wanna be away from ya." He twirls the end of a piece of her hair in his fingers. It's something he does when he's nervous and she recognizes his tell.

"You really wanna come with me, huh?" He looks up at her sincerely.

"I do, baby."

"I s'pose I could ask Daddy if your folks could come along? Would that work?" He brightens instantly.

"Yes! That would be perfect!" She smiles softly and kisses him on the cheek.

"I'm sure he won't mind." He pulls her close to him and kisses her forehead. The next step in his plan is working out nicely.

******

For Thanksgiving, Elvis, Dove, Gladys, and Vernon make their way to Oklahoma for dinner with Dove's family. Vernon is less than pleased with the idea, but Gladys is excited to meet Dove's mother. As they walk up to the door, Elvis chuckles.

"It's going to be a little like the first Thanksgiving, isn't it? All us white folks and your family?" Dove laughs.

"I think you'll be surprised at how civilized we are."

"Oh, honey, I didn't mean to imply-"

"It's fine, Jumbee. I'm kidding." When they get to the door, Dove knocks gently and then takes Elvis's hand in hers. She can tell he's nervous again. Her father opens the door and stands there stoically without smiling.

"Hi Daddy."

"Welcome, white visitors." The Presleys stand on the front porch awkwardly. "I'm joking. Come on in, folks."

He laughs jovially and welcomes them in warmly. Everyone relaxes as he does so and the afternoon begins. Gladys is pleased to see that Dove immediately jumps in to assist her mother and sister with the dinner, and offers to help. Dove's mother, Mary, welcomes her into the kitchen lovingly and the two women bond over food and the raising of children. Gladys compliments her home as Dove's siblings run around them. Vernon sits on the couch awkwardly as Elvis makes conversation first with Dove's father and then jumps into some game with her brothers. Dove is the oldest of five kids with her sister 17 and then her brothers 14, 11, and 9. Before too long, Dove's father, John, is able to engage Vernon in conversation and the two men find it surprisingly easy to talk to each other once they get started.

Overall, the afternoon passes pleasantly and Elvis and Dove exchange a relieved look when everyone sits down to eat. They sit side by side and hold hands under the table while Dove's father blesses the food. As everyone begins to eat, they're able to talk a little.

"I think this is going well." Dove whispers.

"I agree. Daddy even seems to be coming around." He nods toward Vernon who is still conversing with John. Dove smiles warmly.

"I told you it would be okay." Without thinking, Elvis reaches up and pushes a piece of hair behind her ear.

"You were right, as always. I love you, Dovey."

"I love you too, Jumbee." He's dying to lean in and kiss her, but he doesn't want to be disrespectful. Their exchange does not go unnoticed by both mothers, though, who smile first at their children and then at each other.

After dinner, the women begin to clean up and shoo the men into the living room. Elvis knows this is his chance.

"Daddy, I'd like to talk to Mr. Morningstar alone, if it's alright." Vernon nods, not sure what his son might be up to.

"You can call me John, son." Dove's father responds. They walk over to a corner to try to get some privacy, despite the bustling activity in the room. "Now what is it you want to talk to me about?"

Elvis shifts from one foot to the other nervously and bites his nail. Then, he takes a deep breath. There's no time like the present.

"Sir, I'd like your permission to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage."

"I had a feeling that's what this was all about." Elvis smiles a little, not sure what to make of that response.

"So-"

"I give you my permission." Elvis breathes a sigh of relief. "But you have to know this won't be easy with you being who you are and her being what she is."

"I'm not afraid, sir."

"I can see that, son, and it's very noble. I'm just not sure you're aware of what you're getting yourself into. People like us... well, we're not treated the same. Your children will be different than those around them. And your fame-"

"Sir, please don't let my career distract you from the fact that I'm just a man. I'm just a man who is madly in love with your daughter. No marriage is easy, and sure ours might be made a little harder by who I am and the differences between us. But I'm just a man. And I want to marry your daughter more than anything in the world." John smiles warmly.

"That's all I needed to hear, son. You have my permission to marry her if that's what she wants." Elvis beams, the joy rolling off of him in waves. Dove feels the change in his demeanor and looks at him inquisitively. He just nods and smiles. John pulls his attention back to the conversation momentarily.

"You really love her?"

"I do, sir."

"And you promise to take care of her, always?" Elvis nods vehemently.

"To the best of my ability, sir."

"Then you have my blessing." Elvis shakes his hand vigorously.

"Thank you, sir. Thank you so much." Vernon watches the exchange and deduces what must be happening. He knows he's promised the Colonel that he'll be an accomplice to whatever plot he has to keep them apart, but being here with her family has changed his perspective. They're not so different, after all. He smiles despite himself, determined to tell the Colonel whatever he needs to say to make sure his son stays happy.

After dinner, Elvis and his parents leave to go to their hotel because Dove's parents' house isn't quite big enough for everyone to stay. Dove is dying to go with them and stay with Elvis in his room, but she knows her father wouldn't appreciate that. What happens in Memphis is a different story, but here in his home, she has to respect his rules. As they go to leave, Elvis wraps her in his arms and kisses her cheek.

"I'll miss you all night, Dovey."

"I'll miss you too, Jumbee." They embrace one last time and he risks a gentle kiss on her lips. The four parents watch with their hearts warmed, both sets remembering what it was like to be so young and so in love.

******

The next day, Dove and the Presleys head back to Memphis after a warm goodbye and invitation to visit anytime from the Morningstar family.

It's a long drive, but eventually they make it back to Graceland. Elvis turns to Dove and whispers in her ear.

"You wanna stay with me tonight? I missed you so much last night. I wanna hold you like we normally do."

"I want to, Jumbee, but we need to stop by my place first. I need some more clothes." He smiles and kisses her temple. A short stop at her place is nothing.

Elvis drops his parents off at Graceland and then takes Dove back to the boarding house. When they pull up, though, it's obvious something is wrong. Someone's stuff is packed up and set on the porch. Dove gets out of the car nervously and Elvis jumps out too.

"You don't have to come with me."

"Something's going on. I just want to make sure you're okay." She nods and he takes her hand, leading her up the front porch steps. As they approach the pile of belongings, Dove inhales sharply. At the top of the pile is her record player.

"No." She rifles through some more of the stuff and is shocked to discover it's all hers. Grabbing Elvis's hand, she rushes up the stairs to her room. On the door is a paper marked "Eviction Notice."

"Eviction? Dovey?" Elvis looks at her concerned. Dove sighs deeply and puts her head in her hands.

"I might have missed a few months' rent."

"Dovey-!"

"I'm out of my savings and none of the clubs here will hire me to sing." Tears begin to well up in her eyes. "I guess I'll have to go back to Oklahoma."

Elvis tips her chin up to look into his eyes.

"No, baby. I'm not letting you get away." He walks back to the porch and starts to load things in his trunk.

"But where else will I go?" Dove asks, a little panicked.

"You're coming home with me. You practically live there anyway. Now we can just bring the rest of your stuff." She shakes her head vehemently.

"No, I don't think I should do that. We're not married." He stops and cups her chin in his hand.

"We won't do anything more than normal. I just love you and refuse to have you on the streets or lose you because you go back to Oklahoma. You're coming home with me. Please?"

Dove considers her options. She does love staying with Elvis and this would solve the problem of her going back and forth. Still, is she ready to live with a man before she marries him? Then, she looks at Elvis with his ocean-blue eyes, begging her to agree. She can't tell him no.

"Alright then, grab a box."

He beams as they load up the rest of her things into his car.

******

Dove lays with her head on Elvis's chest, looking at the boxes of her belongings in the corner of his room. She's never lived with anyone that wasn't her family before. He feels her swallow deeply.

"Are ya nervous, Dovey?" She looks up at him.

"A little. I've just never lived with anyone else before. What if we start to hate each other?" He chuckles and kisses her forehead.

"Not possible, baby. And even if we did, how would it be different than if we figured it out after we got married?"

"You could kick me out." He looks at her seriously.

"I would never do that. Not before marriage and not after, either. I love you way too much." She looks up at him and says a prayer that he's right.

"I love you too, Jumbee. I just hope we're not making a mistake."

"We're not. Do you trust me?" He smiles with the memory of every time he's asked her that and she relaxes.

"Of course I do." She snuggles into his chest and he squeezes her gently, kissing the top of her hair affectionately.

"Everything will be just fine. You'll see."

******

"She WHAT?!" Vernon holds the phone receiver away from his ear as the Colonel yells. He tries to respond calmly.

"She moved into the house-"

"THAT LITTLE-"

"I'm going to stop you right there, Colonel. It's okay that she moved in. He's planning to marry her soon."

"Do you have any idea what kind of scandal this might cause?!" Vernon takes a deep breath and exhales slowly.

"I don't care. They're happy. I'm not going to take that away from him."

"Then I'm on my own." The Colonel's voice shakes with rage. "You'll regret this, you know."

"I'll never regret seeing my son so happy. Goodbye, Colonel." Vernon hangs up the phone, satisfied with his ability to stand up for Elvis.

What he doesn't know, what no one knows, though, is that the Colonel has decided his next move. And it's a move that will shake the Presley family to its core.

******

Until next time!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@wildhorseinkansas @ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @deniseinmn @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax @atleastpleasetelephone @cinnamoroll-things @burnthheparaphilia @jhoneybees @cattcb @everythingelvispresley @returntopresley

Want to be added or removed? Let me know!

[bobohu4eva]

Good to You - Part 5

Characters: Idol!Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Maid AU, fluff, smut

Warnings for this chapter: Explicit unprotected sex

WC: 4.1k

Tag List: @scentlacigarette @ltamiee @listxn

A/N: Last part y'all! (unless I decide it needs an epilogue lol)

Masterlist

The bliss of laying there together was rudely uninterrupted by his alarm, and you both groaned at the shrill sound. He quickly turned it off, and sat up, pulling you up out of bed with him. Once standing, his hand brought your face to his one more time, kissing you with a gentleness very different from the rough passion he’d shown you only minutes earlier. He pulled away too quickly, smiling again and then he finally started getting his clothes on for the day. 

You too started getting ready, and when you stepped in front of the bathroom mirror you groaned at the state he’d left your neck and chest in. In the past he’d left small marks here and there that were easy enough to cover with clothing or makeup, but this time, he’d left you with large purple splotches reaching from your chest, all the way up to your jaw. There was no way you’d be able to cover that, and it would surely stick around for days. 

“What is it?” He must've heard your reaction, and a second later he was standing next to you. 

His eyes widened when he saw the purple marks covering so much of your neck and chest, but he also had to fight back a smile. 

“Oh shit.” He let out quietly, now shamelessly grinning. 

“It's not funny! It'll be days till they're gone, what if someone sees me leaving here and gets the wrong idea?” 

His smile vanished, falling into a look of disappointment. You could see how fast his heart dropped. 

“The wrong idea? You still want to keep denying it, even now?” It came out sounding pained, confused.

“Denying what?” You knew you were playing dumb at this point, but you felt the confrontation you’d tried so hard to avoid coming at you now at full force. 

He sighed, running one hand through his hair. The inner turmoil was clear on his face, eyes squeezing shut for a moment before finally meeting yours again. 

“Really, y/n? We have sex, we sleep in the same bed, you let me kiss you and cum inside you but you still think people might get the ‘wrong idea?’” 

He was tired, defeated. You couldn’t remember ever seeing him look this upset.

 “That’s not what I meant.” 

“Then tell me what’s going on here, please, we can't just keep ignoring everything.”

You could see it clearly in his eyes, he was pleading with you, he needed you to give him some kind of confirmation, before he broke down completely. 

But you couldn’t, and he knew that, the desperate way you looked at him told him enough. You were begging him not to take this conversation where you both knew it was headed. He didn’t want to force you to talk about something you weren’t ready to talk about, but his own frustration was becoming too much. If you weren’t going to be the one to finally address it, he would. It had been too much, for too long, and he had to get it off his chest. Now that the last barriers had fallen, barriers meant to convince you both that it wasn't ‘real’, he knew he couldn’t keep acting like this was all normal and fine. 

“I care about you, a lot, and I know you care about me too, and not just because you work for me. We both know we like each other too much and not talking about it is making me feel like i'm losing my fucking mind” 

The way your lip quivered broke his heart even more. You didn’t have it in you to acknowledge it, you’d been pushing it away for too long, but now you had to, he left you no choice. He had a right to know, you knew it was cruel to do all of this with him without ever talking about what it meant. But that was the only way you’d been able to stay sane, by denying to yourself that he really liked you, or was attainable in any real way. Having him was impossible in your eyes, and you didn’t deserve it anyway, so you lied to yourself, until you were so deep in denial that his sudden admission made you go mute.

“Please, y/n. Just tell me that I’m not crazy, tell me you care about me the same way I care about you.” 

You couldn't stay quiet when he looked at you like that, imploring you to give him even the smallest semblance of hope that you might finally validate the undeniable feelings you two shared for each other. But the words were still too hard to form, and the tears came before you could form a proper sentence. 

You choked on the first sob, but eventually forced it out. “You’re right” 

The intensity of your crying made it clear to him that you weren't able to say any more, so he just wrapped his arms around you, letting your tears stain his shirt as he reassured you that everything was okay, that the two of you would figure it out. 

When even after a few minutes your tears showed no signs of slowing down, he started to talk again, saying everything he'd wanted to for so many months, finally admitting everything to you. 

“Contacting that company, and them sending you here that day, is the best thing that's happened to me in a really long time. You know you're so much more to me than a housekeeper, and I know I'm not just your boss either. I want you, I don't want you to work for me, I want you to live here and sleep in my bed and have sex with me because there's something real between us and not because I pay you, and you know that. I told you how I feel about you a while ago already, and I know it's asking too much and I could never be a good enough lover to you anyway, but that's what I want. I just want you to be mine.”

His words hit you like a tsunami after all of the months of denial, confirming both your wildest dreams but also greatest fear. The tears had finally slowed down a bit by the time he'd finished his confession, but words were still too difficult. When you were able to pull back enough to meet his eyes, all you could think to do was kiss him. 

“I'm sorry if that was too much, you don't have to say anything, if you aren't ready.” He said when your lips eventually parted. 

You shook your head, and after a few deep breaths, finally gathered the strength to speak again. “I've been lying to myself so much, I really didn't want to believe that someone like you could fall for someone like me, you're way too good for me, I don't deserve you at all.” 

“Whoa, what? Why would you think that?” Of all the reasons to deny what had been going on, he'd never once even considered that. The confused look on his face tugged at your heartstrings.

“I'm just some girl who showed up to help clean one day, and then never really left. But you, I mean, there's a reason millions of people love you so much. You could have anyone you want, and I'm just me.” 

Despite having the strength to talk again, you were still crying. The way you looked at him when you said it had a lump forming in his chest. Baekhyun had kept the tears at bay so far, but now, he too felt them spill over. 

You could feel his tears wetting your forehead as he held you again, your words bringing on an onslaught of emotions, none being good. To him, hearing you speak of yourself so negatively was gut wrenching. 

“You're so fucking wrong, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, even if it's just for a little while, if anything, it's me who doesn't deserve you. I'll never be able to take you out to a movie, or a nice dinner, or even just a fucking walk down the street, you constantly have to worry about crazy people seeing you come in or out of here, my work schedule is an insane mess, I’m only ever going to make your life harder than it has to be, you deserve so much better than that.” 

You shook your head as best you could while buried in his chest. “You're crazy.” 

“I'm not crazy, I just love you.” 

Both of you tensed up, he hadn't meant to let it slip so soon, but taking it back wasn't an option, he knew he meant it. 

“You.. love me?” That one word stole your breath and left you wide eyed, staring up at him. 

“I- I didn't mean to tell you so soon, and you don't have to say anything back, but yeah. I love you.”  This time, those three words were barely above a whisper.

Both hands reached for his face, resting on his red cheeks, swollen from crying, as you took him in. He wouldn't meet your eyes, too embarrassed by his slip up, and too worried that you wouldn't say it back. 

“Baekhyun?” You needed him to look at you, and finally, he did. “I love you too.” 

The way he perked up at those simple words was devastatingly cute. “Really?” 

You nodded, smiling, and he just looked so happy in that moment, you wished you could burn it into the back of your brain for eternity. 

Once again, all you could think to do was kiss each other even more, in a feeble attempt to make up for lost time. But one question still plagued the back of your mind. 

“What happens now? Being your housekeeper and working for you, it just feels..wrong” 

He thought for a second, and then a lightbulb seemed to go off in his mind. 

“Marry me.” 

He blurted it out without as much as a second thought, but he didn't take it back. Instead, he started getting down on one knee, and the tears were back, trickling down your face even more urgently than before. 

“I mean it, no more working for me, what's mine is yours, all that, I just want you here with me. Fuck the household stuff I'll do both of our laundry I'll even learn to cook, and you can hold me to that. I don't have a ring but we can go get one, any ring you want I'll buy it, and then we can go to the courthouse. We can worry about everything else later.” 

The look of complete shock still very clear on your face made him swallow, nervous, as he went on.

“Ever since I was a kid I always thought I'd grow up to get married and start a family, but then I debuted and I just kind of learned to deal with the fact that that would never happen. But when I met you, you made it feel like I was finally getting a little taste of that. Whenever I come home and you're here smiling and waiting for me, it just feels so good and right and especially since we started sleeping together it's like that dream I had before debuting is actually possible, just barely out of reach, because you wouldn't let it go quite that far, until this morning. And for a while now, every time I think about that kind of life, coming home to a wife who loves me, maybe a few kids someday, I can only imagine it with you. You're the only one I want that with. You're the one I want to make my wife, if you'll let me.” 

He looked up at you, teary eyed, but hopeful, waiting for your response. 

You nodded, and eventually, a “yes” passed your lips. 

There was a part of you that was screaming to take it back, to say no to him, but deep down, you simply couldn't. You trusted him more than anyone else, and the more it sunk in, really, truly, loved him too. Not only that, but he loved you. Of course marrying so soon was kind of stupid, and everything else was terrifying and uncertain, but if you had him, you knew you'd figure it out. You'd been staying at his place for long enough, you knew him well, and there wasn't a single ounce of doubt within you, that he would be anything less than the best husband a girl could ask for. Baekhyun was the sweetest, loveliest, funniest, warmest person you'd ever met. He felt like home. Of course you would marry him. 

It was almost laughable how dramatic it all was in the moment, but the way you both smiled and laughed while he stood up and kissed you just felt right, and you knew that was where you were supposed to be. 

“I can't believe I asked you that, and I really can't believe you said yes, what the fuck, that's so cool. I love you so much.” 

By now you were smiling so hard it was starting to hurt your face, but you couldn't have cared less. He kept peppering kisses across your face, each one paired with another “I love you”, until he finally pulled away enough to get some air. 

“You're gonna be my wife, my lovely, beautiful, caring, super sexy wife.” 

You could never get sick of his smile, it lit up the room so effortlessly, banishing any negative feelings to hell, making it impossible for you not to smile back. 

“Let's go get a ring.” He said. 

“But don't you have-” 

Fuck. 

You both realized at the same time, that he was already almost an hour late for work, and the ring would have to wait. For a second he considered ditching again, but two days in the row would be hard to forgive. 

Luckily he was already dressed and pretty much ready, so all you said was ‘go’ and another ‘I love you’ before basically pushing him out the door, as he kept his hands on you as long as possible, insisting on one more kiss before he left. 

Now alone, you played it all over again in your head, and again, and it still almost felt too good to be true, but now you knew that it wasn't. There was no more denying it, hell, you were gonna marry him. And you couldn't have been happier about it. 

When Baekhyun finally arrived on set, not even the annoyed faces of the staff and his band mates could bring his mood down. He went right up to his friends and started hugging them, still smiling, as they looked more and more confused.

Junmyeon was the first to speak up. “What took you so long? Where the hell were you yesterday? Why are you so happy? Are you on drugs?” 

Once he'd given everyone a hug, he looked back at their baffled faces, still grinning like an idiot. 

“I'm engaged.” 

“You're what?” Chanyeol was never really the best at keeping quiet in situations like these. 

“I'm serious.” 

“You don't even have a girlfriend?!” 

That was when Sehun connected the dots, eyes going wide before laughing out loud, almost crying from his amusement. “I fucking knew it!” 

The rest of the men still stood there stunned and confused as Baekhyun just stood there with a big silly grin on his face, and Sehun had fallen to the floor from how hard he was laughing. 

“Knew what??” At least two of the others said, almost in unison. 

“He's marrying his maid.” 

They looked at Baekhyun, expecting him to argue such a ridiculous claim, but instead he nodded happily. 

“Is he serious..?” Chanyeol still didn't buy it. 

“She's not working for me anymore now, obviously, that would be super weird, but I asked her to marry me and she said yes!” 

“And you're sure that's a good idea?” 

“Positive.” 

The others were still skeptical, sure, but they hadn't seen their friend look so happy in years, and at the end of the day, that was what mattered. If he thought this was the way to go, they'd support him. 

Luckily the shoot went by quickly and they ended up back on schedule by the end of the day, and Baekhyun had never been more ready to get back home in his life. 

You too had been waiting anxiously for his return, and when he came back on time rather than an hour late as you'd expected you were overjoyed, running to the door and wrapping yourself around him before he even had the chance to close it again. 

“Did someone miss me?” 

“Are you kidding, those were the longest 8 hours of my life.” 

He chuckled, “mine too, baby, mine too.” 

His lips were on yours again in no time, his hands on your thighs keeping your legs wrapped around his waist. Holding onto him like this, he felt so nice and strong, an anchor for you, your biggest source of comfort. You never wanted to let go. His body was warm and firm and his lips tasted like home, so much so that you whined a little when he inevitably pulled away.

“Do you want to go pick out a ring?” His forehead was pressed to your own, still holding you up. 

You pouted, “Wanna stay like this.” 

“Okay my love, whatever you say.” 

He walked you both to the couch, sitting down with you now on his lap. You couldn't get enough, hands feeling up his chest and shoulders, kissing him with greed and urgency, all of which he returned. 

You two had had sex before, of course, but this was nothing like those other times. Just getting to kiss you and touch you without any restrictions made everything so much better, and neither of you had even started getting undressed yet. Just the feeling of having you on his lap straddling him, kissing him and touching him for no other reason than that you wanted to, nearly made him cry with joy. 

“You're gonna kill me, fuck, you're so perfect.” 

“Take me to bed,” you whispered in his ear, and he let out a soft moan before standing up, walking you both to his room. 

You were quickly laid down on the bed, hands impatiently tugging at your clothes until they were mostly gone. 

Baekhyun had always been… orally fixated, to say the least, and he was almost unreasonably excited to finally get his mouth on you the way he's been craving for months. His hands made quick work of your underwear, sliding them off before he placed his face right between your thighs.

“So pretty.” He mumbled, moreso to himself, as he stared at your most intimate area, making you squirm and whine for him to just get on with it. 

Instead, he attached his mouth to your inner thigh, sucking a mark onto the soft skin, before doing the same again, and again.

“You have no idea how many times I've imagined this, how fucking bad I've wanted to do this the last few months.” And then, ever so softly, he pressed his lips to your clit. 

Finally, it seemed, he was done teasing you. His tongue slipped its way between your folds, eagerly licking up your wetness, before enveloping you in his mouth completely. And fuck, was it good. 

Too good, almost. He didn't hold back one bit, devouring you with unmatched enthusiasm, moaning into your pussy unabashedly. Within mere minutes, he had you teetering on the edge, ready to cum in his mouth. Your hands were tugging on his hair, probably a bit too hard, but he was too busy to give a shit. He'd probably let you scalp him if it meant he got to stay between your legs. 

Once he’d figured out what made you whimper and pull his hair the hardest, he didn’t stop, not even when you started to fall. 

The first orgasm was like an electric shock, shaking you physically, mentally, hell, probably even spiritually. As he brought you to that first peak you twitched and writhed, broken up versions of his name falling off your lips along with moans and gasps. 

Once it was over, your thighs tried to close around his head, willing him to give you a break, but his hands just pulled your legs back open. He pushed you through the over sensitivity, straight into the build up of another earth shattering orgasm. 

He didn't want to hear anything coherent from you, and you gave him exactly what he craved. You were a mess, desperate, sweating, completely under his spell. His tongue by itself was enough to have you almost crying, begging for more, so when he pushed two slender fingers into you, you nearly screamed. 

It was too much, his mouth, and now his fingers, pushing in and out as his tongue stayed flicking your clit, sucking it past his lips every now and again to see how crazy he could make you feel. And before you even had time to fully realize where he was taking you, you were cumming again. 

Once again he rode you through it, only  pulling away when the overstimulation made you twitch so intensely you nearly kicked him.

His face, when you could finally see it again, was beaming at you, mouth and chin wet with your arousal. “You taste so fucking good.” 

His smile grew when you made grabby hands at him, and he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before moving back up your body, his hips now resting between your own. 

You tugged on his clothes, just now realizing how completely dressed he still was while you were only left in your bra. His lips pressed themselves to yours, and his hand snuck behind your back, undoing the clasp until you were fully nude, and finally, he got up to strip himself as well. 

When he was finally between your thighs again, he was naked as you, and you felt his hardness between your legs. 

“Y/n, baby.” The hand that wasn't propping him up was on your face, and the way he was looking at you stole your breath. “I love you, so, so, much.” 

Before you could return his words, his hips were pushing forward, and he was inside you. The whimper you let out was music to his ears, but he needed to hear something else. 

“Look at me.” Your eyes met his. “Say it, tell me you love me.” 

You tried to get the words out, but they got caught in a moan when he started to move, slowly rolling his hips. 

“Fuck, please.” 

His words broke the trance, and finally, you said it. “I love you, Baekhyun.” 

His lips were on yours again, and now, you didn't ever want them to leave. You just needed him close, as close as humanly possible. Your legs wrapped around him, hands on his back pushing him into you, even when your chests were already completely flush. 

You too felt how different it was, having sex, without any holding back, knowing that you loved him and he loved you. With every push into you, a moan fell from your lips, which he swallowed with his own. He somehow felt warmer, heavier, even more irresistible than you could've dreamed of. You wanted to melt into him completely, feel every inch of his body against your own, no matter how impossible that might be. This was heaven, it had to be. 

He was just as affected, so much so, that he felt himself start to lose control far too soon. 

“Fuck, baby, I'm gonna- I can't-” 

You looked at him, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to hold himself back, but when your hand reached his face he opened them again. 

“I love you.” You told him, again, and that was all it took. A few more thrusts and he let go, taking you with him as he fell. 

You both stayed there, heavy breaths slowly mellowing out as the high faded away. Neither of you wanted to move, but the sweaty stickiness of it all finally had him rolling off of you. 

His arm was slung across his eyes, and he was just smiling so big. 

“I love you.” He said, and then again, and again, like a mantra, until your head rested itself on his chest, and his lips found your forehead. 

His love for you, and your love for him, felt so certain, like something you could almost reach out and touch. It washed over you like a warm blanket, and you layed there, using him as your pillow, with one of his strong arms securing you in place. And just like that, you both drifted to sleep, dreaming of all the wonderful things you'd do together, for many, amazing years to come. 

Fin

[goldentoshi]

eight

warnings: cursing, suggestive comments

all of the bonten boys were sitting down in the dinner room after dinner and a meeting. they just got off a zoom call with their manager when sanzu opened his mouth to ask. question.

"when the fuck did you and y/n become a thing?" sanzu asked.

"a few days ago." rindou shrugged, as if it was nothing. he honestly wasn't paying attention, too focused on texting his new 'girlfriend'.

"didn't y'all like dispise each other a few weeks ago." mochi asked.

"things change." rindou chuckled, his entire focus on his phone.

favorite idiot: i changed your name in my phone just in case someone sees you texting me

rinrin <3: yours is favorite idiot and i'm not changing it

favorite idiot: ofc you wouldn't 🙄 we also should probably start texting like a couple…for the same reason..can you come to ikea with me tmmw too?

rinrin <3: does y/n want me to start calling her princess and sweetheart?

rinrin <3: sure, why not. i want a new bed anyways. what time do you want me to get you?"

favorite idiot: how about 1pm? we can get food after

rinrin <3: sounds good to me

favorite idiot: could you just not bring your motorcycle? i've never been on one before

rinrin <3: awww what're you scared?

favorite idiot: ngl, yes

rinrin <3: don't worry princess, you can hold on to me if you need to

favorite idiot: you promise?

"what has you smiling over there, loveboy?" ran asked his brother. when he didn't get a response, he calmly walked over behind him and stood, looking over his shoulder. "oooh your favorite idiot is texting you."

"fuck off ran." rindou said, shying his phone away.

"how did you get a girlfriend before us?" kokonoi asked. "especially one as fine as y/n. that girl would've got all the work."

"dude. don't talk about his girl like that." kakucho said to his friend.

"i'm just saying, y/n is probably the sexiest woman i've ever seen in my fucking life." koko shrugged. “lucky i didn’t get a hold of her. would’ve fucked fucked the life out of-“

"she got any single friends?" takeomi asked, cutting off his much vulgar housemate, “someone who isn’t in a relationship.”

"katara is sing-"

"dibs." ran said before rindou could even finish his sentence.

"what the fuck, no fair!" koko said.

"hey, dibs is dibs." mikey finally spoke before going back to his ramen.

"katara is so fine." mochi said. "two pretty best friends."

"stay off tiktok." takeomi laughed.

rindou quietly walked away as the group continued the conversation. something about koko's words made him...angry. for all everyone know, you were his. "fucking asshole." he muttered before starting grand theft auto 5 on his ps5. "hitting on my girl."

his girl? that made him freeze as the thought crossed his mind. everyone thinks that y/n was his girl. not ran's, not haru's, not even mikey's.

rinrin <3 : come see me baby. i miss you.

hopefully that didn't sound too cheesy. oh god, she's not gonna respond-

favorite idiot: okay rin. i miss you too.

꧁꧂

"you okay?" y/n asked. as soon as she had arrived to the gaming house, rindou practically dragged her to his room before shutting the door.

"yeah." rindou said before the realization of what he did hit him. he tried to hid the blush of embarrassment that grew on his face before he spoke. "i know this isn't exactly apart of our agreement but i just, i dunno, was lonely."

"ypu don't have to say that, rin. you need me , call me. kay?" you reassured him. “we’re still friends right? i mean, you can call me for anything.”

“yeah, okay.” he mumbled, a feeling he’s never felt bubbling in his chest. “sorry for scaring you.”

"it’s okay rin, i swear. wanna play minecraft?"

꧁꧂

serendipity : a very good coincidence, often leading to something really awesome.

prev | next

masterlist

[mafiasliege]

I dare you to let me go

(This is part 7 of my fic. Enjoy reading!)

Part 6 ↓

AVERY

The next two months may have been the worst time of Avery's life. Poverty, attempts on her life, pressure of the world, nothing compared to this. She threw herself even more into her work, tried not to be in the house that suddenly felt so lonely. Jameson and her didn't spend every waking moment together, even before everything went to hell, but he'd always be there. Making mischief, speeding cars on the track, sunbathing in the solarium or jumping off of his beloved climbing wall. She could feel him being there, and that was a great comfort. Now it felt so empty.

Jameson was still in the UK. He had come home for Christmas and New Year's, though. But the Hawthorne House was big enough for him to never see her.

She had to do something. Just because he told her to go away doesn't mean she'd just obey.

The next day, Alisa was in her office with Gray.

"Alisa. I need you to research every loophole on this."

The next few hours, the for of them discussed every possible outcome regarding her… proposition.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Avery?" Grayson asked her, even though he jumped on board with the idea.

"Yes."

------------------------------------------------

"Hey, Priscilla."

"Oh dear! Get inside, you all."

"That's okay. Is Jameson not home?" That was Xander, peeking in.

"Oh no, sweetie. He's in London. He had been since his mot was here two weeks ago."

Avery frowned. "A mot?"

"The blonde one."

"What's her name?"

"Don't know, girl. Mario tells me she's the Countess of Caithness. Real charmer."

Mario was the security at the front gate. No doubt they'd talked around. Even the media had gotten the hint they weren't together anymore. Their theories only made her feel worse.

Avery tried to mask her disappointment. He was flying around the globe like it was a ball, but he'd only come home for the sake of holidays. Just when she'd tracked him down, he was in London.

She was nervous on the flight there, and Xander tried using his distraction skills to it's best.

"What do you think he's doing in London? You know, other than getting into trouble."

Avery ignored that and voiced her fears thoughts instead, "do you think he's dating someone?"

"Probably." Said Lyra, casually sipping on her Manhattan. "What? It could happen. He's single and a Hawthorne. It could even be that blonde." She shrugged when Grayson glared at her.

-------------------------------------------------

Jameson was not in his apartment, not at the mercy, and not with Simon. Max had stumbled into a famous bookstore. After Avery started panicking again, Lyra tried to redeem herself for her previous taunting, and dragged them to her favourite bar place in the city.

"You need to chill. Come on, the Manhattan on the flight has started losing its effect, anyway."

Inside the club, called The Onyx, Avery realised how fucked up a sense of humour life had, when she saw Jameson… with a girl.

"We did not go through so much trouble with Sheffield Grayson just for you to commit murder yourself," Grayson said, warning Avery, her dagger eyes on Jameson and the pretty blonde sitting together. He proceeded to say something that made them both laugh a lot and she touched his arm. It was his real laugh, which only made her more jealous.

"Gray's right. Max says it's harder to hide bodies in winter." Why Max knew that, no one knew. "Besides, don't you need to, you know, be married to be Countess?"

"Caithness is in Scotland, Xan. Some women there can just inherit the title. As a matter of fact, she's on google. Unmarried." She showed him a Wikipedia page.

While Lyra and Xan kept chattering, Jameson had spotted them. She waved at him. They got up and came toward them.

The blonde put out her hand, "Bridget. Nice to meet you." Avery put aside the most vivid fantasies she had sitting there of pulling the hand that touched him and burn it, and shook it instead. "Avery."

After initial introductions, avery excused herself to the bathroom.

Stay cool, calm, and collected.

"Heiress."

Avery turned around to see Jameson standing there. She turned around slowly to face him. He looked so beautiful, it hurt. His eyes seemed brighter, somehow. And his face and posture looked more relaxed, like when you water a drying plant. She felt equal parts guilty and ashamed that it took him leaving her to feel like himself again.

"I have to tell you something." He just nodded. Her heart was thumping rapidly in her chest.

"I gave up the Hawthorne foundation. It officially belongs to Grayson now." Jameson was shocked. He blinked twice, as if it wasn't real and all in his head.

"How? I thought you couldn't-"

"I told you, I'm not letting you go. Not now, not ever. But i had too many expectations from too many people. I had to release some of it. So, I researched every loophole the past couple of months, and made it official, it can't be undone now. And i wouldn't have it any other way." She always knew the Hawthorne foundation was what Grayson really missed about losing the inheritance, and she had her own foundation, her own purpose.

She kept talking, if he wasn't going to.

"So, your girlfriend's nice." The best way to cut out the awkward parts, according to her, was to rip off the bandaid asap.

“I'm not here on a date. Bridget's just a friend,” Jameson said in a small voice.

“Then why…”

"Why did Priscilla say-" his eyes glittered with emotion.

“Because I knew you'd ask her. Because I'm afraid of getting too attached again. I've been fighting against my still-consistent longing for you, and I almost gave in. I don’t…” He inhaled a shuddering breath.

“I’m scared I’ll go back and lose myself again. I’m scared you’ll get comfortable and take back you're words. I can’t go through that a second time, Avery. I can’t.” Avery put her hands on his neck.

"I won't, Jameson. I'll never take us back to that time." She pressed her forehead against his.

“Give us another chance,” she said. “One last chance. I promise I won’t hurt you. I know my promises don’t mean much to you anymore, and that's entirely my own doing, but tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.”

This time, it was her who waited. Waited for so long, she wasn't sure he'd even heard her. When it became clear he wasn't going to say anything, she turned around.

"Heiress."

She hadn't even turned around halfway before Jameson grabbed her hand to gently pulled her toward him…

And kissed her.

[memberment]

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

So the Trinitarians brain worm is back and Morning Glory is now longer and biting the dust as far as my focus goes.

But like, I genuinely want to talk to anyone who's invested in what's to come as far as part two goes. SO PLEASE. I IMPLORE THE FOUR OF YOU WHO PERPETUALLY TAKE NOTICE OF MY SCREAMS INTO THE VOID.

We're all aware that Trin is a time loop fic. That is confirmed.

BUT THE PROBLEM IS HOW I'M GOING ABOUT DOING THAT. AND I NEED INPUT FROM PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT ME AS FAR AS PLEASES AND SPARKLES GO, YES?

Because like sure I'm writing it and like fuck everything else, let me tell my story. But it's the how of it all like if I'm gonna throw another 200 give or take hours into this I would at least like one person to be having a wonderful time drinking and driving (I have since remembered this is not a common phrase, I do not mean this in a literal sense, it's an expression) with me right?

Part two is going to be 50 chapters, give or take. (Part one is about 37 for reference.)

So the plan for part 2 rn is (ROGUHLY):

(1-10) is the second timeline. There are a lot of importants and I cannot just glaze over it all more than that. But we're also working in a bit of a shorter time period than the original events of the story and introductions do not need to happen again, right?

(11-40)ish would be me running through the next timelines in a set up structure -> what changes -> the results of said changes and then inevitably what sends our looper backwards. It wouldn't be running through all the timelines but the more notable ones in kind of a four chapter structure, I am not fully sold on four, but rough estimate yk.

And then 41-50 would be the finale of part two. It's literally the last timeline in its glory and then the epilogue which kicks off part three.

COULD AT LEAST ONE OF Y'ALL SIT THROUGH THAT OR DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY NOTES AT ALL BECAUSE LIKE

I personally kinda like it but if not a soul is reading this I am throwing myself on the curb with the rest of the garbage LMFAOOO.

I NEED THOUGHTS. OPINIONS. COMMENTS. CONCERNS. ANYTHING.

Anyways, I'm going to work. I have off tomorrow and I broke the ff investment seal for today so insanity and updates will be here tonight and homework will be tomorrow.

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD DAY <3

(9:30) I am literally falling asleep as I lazily write this angel based on Danse Macabre. Expect all of maybe one more update tonight if the tacos I am abt to receive don't wake me up LMFAO.

Also, I am almost saddened by not having something to post tm. Anyone want an early chapter of something that isn't Genesis/Desolation bc they're both on Monday?????? (I am feeling like a menace rn)

(10:19) tacos and the absolute yap session I just had did wake me up a bit. MAAAYBE might write some more. Idk I slept like three hours last night and went to work I'm kinda dead. But we're at 98.2k!!!!!!🥳

(11:06) okay we made it to 99.6k everything besides the flashback for 31 is done. I'm about to relax and watch something and figure out mechanics of some of this because god this series is A BEAST. Like, I still have six planned chapters left.

Pure insanity. I love it here. I hate it here.

Holy shit wait I just came to the realization that I started this fic exactly one month ago. I have belted out 99.6k for THIS FIC ALONE. (Moreso if we're including future shit that hasn't happened yet)

IN ONE MONTH.

THAT IS FUCKING CRAZY WHAT HTE FUCK LMFAOOOO

I may or may not be cooking we’ll find out in 6-26 business hours

(5:28) So I just had a very interesting past few business hours. I read a fic I've been waiting ever so patiently to finish. That's cool, right. I go for a walk at 4 in the morning because I'm insane. Fantastic. I get home at five and I'm like ohhhh well what do I do now it's not sleep time yet. Oh write I'm supposed to be drawing.

Nope I reread the epilogue of morning glory and realized Tweek's first address is for my morning glory and Craig's last sign off is your morning glory and now I'm ready to throw myself on the curb with the garbage as I sob. Someone call a trusted adult for me thanks.

[strawberryfairi]

“I loved you then…back when I knew you”

Synopsis: 💎 When your old high school best friend, and admittedly, first love randomly shows up at your door one morning after a bit over ten years apart, your memories of him that you once locked away comes flooding back. Are you open to hearing him out after all this time? (In other words…will you take your man back or nah?)

♕Pairings: Kazutora X Black Fem Reader 🤎 (ANYONE CAN READ)🛑Content: 18+ Eventual smut, Some grief, Some angst ~Crossposted On: Wattpad ONLY ~Updating WEEKLY

w.c. 2.1k💠 Released April 5, 2024

NOTE🧚🏾‍♀️: So like lmk if you'd like to be a part of a taglist for this story to keep up with updates! That's all for this note🥰 Also omg y'all this chapter's like so short 'cause I split it from chapter 10. Next chapter will be longer I SWEAAARRRR!!!!

Previous | Next Chapter: Pending…. Chapters Masterlist

CHAPTER 11; JUST A KISS

It's been five hours since Kazutora showed up at your doorstep earlier this morning. At this point you've taken your hair out and styled it as a braid out, and completed  the rest of your usual morning routine. Since it's the weekend and you're officially staying inside all day, you kept on your pajamas. They're cute so why not, and the whole vibe is giving sleepover anyways. The two of you did nothing but talk and laugh, catching one another up on life. You learned he's been working at a pet shop with one of his old friends since he's been out of jail. He's always thought cats were cute so it made sense to you as soon as he brought the news.

When you weren't chatting, the two of you would just lie near each other on your bed in a tranquil silence until another conversation naturally sparked up, just like right now. "So..." Kazutora started, laying on his back looking up at the ceiling. "So?" You furrow your brows a bit, turning to rest your head on your palm as your elbow lifted you up to look at him. "Don't take this the wrong way but...I've kinda been assuming you must have a boyfriend or fiancée now, right? Do you two live together?"

You sighed, wincing a little at his innocent questions. "Yeaaaah...actually, I'm single now." You clarify a bit awkwardly. "Now?" He questions, rolling over on his side to face you. "Yup, now. We broke up a while ago, and we didn't really last all that long. Just a bit over a year." You huff, recalling the memories of the unnecessarily dramatic breakup. "Was he your only boyfriend?" He asks curiously. "No, I've had four since high school." You share plainly. Kazutora's heart drops to his feet. Four?! Since high school?! What did that mean?! You were with someone all the way back in high school?! It had to have been after he left!

"I guess that makes sense. You've always been...pretty." He murmurs, looking to the side in attempt to hide the disappointment behind his eyes. You really went and outlived him experience-wise. You've had so many boyfriends while he hasn't even had one single girlfriend. You're the only girl he's ever kissed and even that was just a one-time thing.

"They were trash, honestly. It seems the older I get the worse I pick. Only one was ever genuinely good to me, he just...wasn't right for me if that makes sense. We weren't even actually together, but-you know what? You don't need to be bothered by my sorry ass love life." You sigh, falling backwards onto your back. "No no, I don't mind." He shakes his head.

He actually minded a lot. He was extremely jealous of every single one of these guys even though he firstly had zero clue who they were and second you had clearly stated they weren't great guys. You roll back onto your side, eyes fixed on Kazutora's long hair. "Ehhh, it's whatever. I'm glad at least I have you again! Had I still been with my ex right now I would've never been able to do this with you." You smile softly, fingers gently running through his soft hair.

"Perfect timing I guess." He shrugs.

"I think you've always had perfect timing actually. Like the night we met and you came and beat the crap outta that college dude." You murmur, becoming fully entranced in playing with his hair at this point.

Kazutora hums in response, eyes slightly closing as he feels you play with his hair. He grabs your hand and pulls it directly on top of his head, signaling that he wanted you to massage his scalp. You let out a breathy chuckle, giving him what he wants. The corners of his lips slightly tug upwards as he lets out a satisfied sigh, leaning over and pushing you down onto your back on the bed by your chest. A noise of shock leaves your lips as you look up at him with wide eyes. Then, he lays his head down on your chest, right by your heart as he places your hand back on top of his head. Gosh, you thought he was gonna do something else. You shake your head, going back to massaging his scalp the way he likes. Something about this felt extremely different from when the two of you were younger.

"Would you really think of me all this time?" He mumbles, his tone soft yet somber. You furrow your brows at the random question. "Yeah. I already told you I'd think about you." You chuckle a little, figuring he must have wanted to just hear it again. "What would you think about me; specifically?" He asks cautiously. "Specifically? I mean, I'd think of all kinds of things. The haunted house, when you'd take me out riding on your motorcycle at night, the night we met, everything." You shrug, unable to really think of anything else.

He sighs deeply, seeming to not really like your answer, making you furrow your brows again in a mix of confusion and slight concern.

"What?" You ask.

"...Nothing." He murmurs shortly.

"Kazi..." You say in a warning tone.

"It's just...when we were at the haunted house that one night, do you remember...when we kissed?" He asks cautiously, keeping his eyes closed. Your hand involuntarily freezes in his hair, your heart doing the same as you replay his words over and over again. "Uhhh, yeah I do. It was my first kiss actually." You reply with a bashful chuckle, trying to maintain your calm tone.

"Mine too. Did you-..did you like it? When I kissed you?" He asks, lifting his head and leaning up over you to look at you. "...Mhm." You respond with a nod, feeling your face rapidly starting to heat up. You had a slight sense based off of earlier that he might have some romantic feelings somewhere in there for you but you weren't expecting him to do something like this so fast. His eyes light up like a Christmas tree at your response as he looks to the side deep in thought. "Why are you askin' me this?" You question softly, cupping his face with a hand and turning his head back towards you. Silence falls right between you two, your gesture unintentionally causing you both to become lost in each others eyes. You both knew that you knew exactly why he asked you that. It's the same reason you brought up the haunted house earlier in the first place.

Hesitantly, you start to pull him closer, forcing him to move himself further on top of you in order to follow your movements. He swallows nervously, eyes catching the way yours shift down to his lips. His face quickly shades deep pink, catching on to what you were wanting to do. His mouth opens and closes, trying to form some sort of coherent sentence.

"I-I-..I was just-I-

Your soft laughter cuts off his random stuttering, making him shut his mouth. In one swift movement you let yourself fall onto your back, suddenly bringing him fully on top of you. Kazutora uses his hands to stop himself, each one on either side of your head. Nervously, he chews on his bottom lip, eyes darting all over the place. "Did you ask because you want to do it again?" You question, your tone soft and flirty as you wrap your arms around his neck. You send an intense shiver down his spine, his heart feels like it's about to explode. All he could muster was a slight nod. His bashfulness was doing something to you right now. The way he could barely look at you, but once he does he's completely entranced. It's the sweetest thing.

"Is that a yes?" You raise a brow slightly in amusement. He gives you a choked out "yes", unconsciously leaning down closer. You take that as the perfect opportunity, using your arms around his neck to gently pull him closer, enough to where your lips were just barely touching. His hair creates a curtain around the two of you, some strands lightly tickling your cheeks. "Then kiss me." You urge, eyes filled with desire. Without a second thought, he closes the thin gap, pressing his lips against yours desperately. Instantly you let out a soft sigh, placing a hand in his hair as the other cups his face, kissing him back with just as much need. Your lips move together slowly, as if they were recognizing each other after all this time. His lips feel perfect, so soft and smooth, even better than back then. He's addictive.

Slowly the two of you pull away, catching your breath. Kazutora's blushing up to his ears, yet his eyes look at you with a hunger you've never seen. "Can we do it again?" He asks in a low tone.

"You don't have to ask, K." You chuckle, eyes already fixed on his lips as you pull him into another kiss. This one is much more intense than the first. Both hands cup his face as you move your lips against his a bit faster. Your body temperature was rising quickly, and your breathing became slightly heavier. You needed more. Taking full control of the kiss you coax his mouth open, letting your tongue explore him a bit further. He lets out a little noise of surprise, struggling to keep up. Abruptly you pull away once again, looking up at him with a frown.

"You don't wanna touch me?" You tilt your head to the side. This whole time it was just you touching him, his hands just stayed put right on either side of your head.

"I-I didn't know if you wanted me to." He says nervously.

"If I wanted you to, would you?" You ask playfully, running your hands down his sides then pulling him against you by his waist. A short gasp leaves his lips at your boldness, your bodies were touching now, touching in places he's never felt before. You smile softly, bringing him into another kiss. He was eager this time to feel your tongue again, so instantly he opens his mouth, brushing his tongue against your bottom lip gently. Your tongues dance with one another in a passionate kiss, your hand slowly reaching for his arm. Taking his hand, you place it on your cheek to start.

Your hands travel up and down his torso, taking your time as you finally get to touch him. He's always been muscular, but now he's much more filled out. You trail from his shoulders down his back, feeling the way he shivers in response, then make your way to his stomach. The feeling of his abs under your fingertips excited you an indecent amount. You were doing younger you such a huge favor, as she'd always fantasize about what he'd feel like. Just then, you feel him start to harden up underneath his pants, a tent pressing against you making your heart, and admittedly, your pussy flutter.

Abruptly, Kazutora pulls away, eyes fearful and wide. His random movement making you jump a little. "I'm so sorry!" He says frantically, attempting to get off of you but you grab his arms, keeping him still. "No no, it's ok! I don't mind at all." You assure with a light chuckle. He's so innocent and nervous, it's adorable, looking at you all unsure and embarrassed. "We're just kissing. You don't have to be so jumpy." You cup his face in your hands. "But-..but-

You cut him off, pulling him down again and bringing your lips to his ear. "I mean...I like that I can get you like this from just a kiss. It's really cute." You purr sensually, moving back so you could see his reaction. His entire face had gone red, innocent eyes wide as his mind malfunctions while trying to process your words.

"I-..I wanna take you out!" He blurts out abruptly, catching you completely off guard. "On a date; together." He finishes awkwardly, blushing his head off. "Well I mean I figured it'd be together" You chuckle softly, "What's making you say this all of a sudden?"

"It's not all of a sudden. I've wanted to go on a date with you for the longest time. I think-..shouldn't I take you out on a date first before we do things like this? That's how I'm supposed to do it right?" He asks innocently. He's just too adorable, ughh gosh. You didn't want to say no since honestly you like his more traditional way of thinking when it comes to this.

"You're right. I'd love to go on a date with you." You smile softly, leaning up and giving him a small peck on the cheek. For a moment he looks surprised, shocked that you'd agreed so easily, then a wide smile spreads across his lips.

"Really?!" He beams cutely.

"Yes, Kazutora." You chuckle, shaking your head at his excitement.

A/N🧚🏾‍♀️: Stop it's literally disrespectful how short this chapter is I feel terrible😭 BUT, if you want, comment and let me know if I should double post and have chapter 12 out tomorrow.

[ara0minthe]

Saturday, 10th of August / Samedi 10 août 2024

────୨ৎ────

Sleep: still bad, from 4am to 12am

Health: Ate healthy food, very very little sugar. But I was busy so I couldn't eat when I wanted, I was so hungry (thanks cousin for giving me a meal at 11pm)

Work / Focus: only 30mins today, revised for my driving license before being interrupted by people

Today's description: Had peace and took care of my own matters until 4pm. Had to eat with family and the guests. Then my family is going to a store so I go with them. I buy a puzzle of a 1000 pieces there. I'm so excited for the puzzle.

I also buy a notebook but why does it smell so damn bad. It smells so bad, I threw some deodorant and perfume on it but the good smell was canceled by the bad smell. It smells this bad. Dammit.

Then, I spend some time at home, too much family is at home (includes the guests) so I can't work.

Then, 9pm, my sister is going away, so I go out to say goodbye, then take a walk outside my neighborhood with my cousin who lives a minute away.

Night comes quickly and we're still outside talking (we're right in front of our houses si it's safe).

Then to keep talking, I go to her home, and she says let's go eat, so we eat in the kitchen while talking, (it's my second actual meal of the day, thanks for feeding me (╥﹏╥) )

At midnight my bro comes to walk me home, even though we live a few minutes away, we never know, better be safe (that's a typical women's life, the world can be scary sometimes).

He also just got back from spending the night at my other cousin's place.

Then we just talk to one another and laugh until 1am.

I go to my room and my 12y old sis is still awake.

I wanted to journal for just a bit but then it's 3am and I just finished the journal I had been using for 5 months.

So now its 3:35 and I'll go to sleep very quickly.

(I swear I want to sleep early, but why am I always so busy until very late. I definitely need to make some changes 😭)

At least I don't overuse my phone, I improved on that and I can focus on my work when I want to, so it's a big positive point

(I only use it to talk with friends and write on Tumblr, I stopped scrolling, thus stopped destroying my brain, I feel my brain capacities coming back, but for that to definitely work, I need to sleep correctly)

I also eat healthily and do not overeat.

I guess I can't change eveything at once, it will have to be one thing at a time.

So next is, making more time for work through the day and improving my sleeping habits

Anyway, good night, sleep well and on time (don't take my example)

Bisou bisou, peace and love for y'all.

[dumb-gemini]

Y'all are getting a face reveal today for anime STL pics :)

Anyway I had SO much fun!!! I just posted about it over on my writing account but this one I'm gonna post more pictures on, I trust all of you my lovely mutuals :)

Ok ranting time!!! (Im gonna try and keep it short but god do I have a lot of fun stories)

OKAY SO ACTUALLY THAT ONE WITH THE CHILDE COSPLAYER IS LIKE MY FAVORITE BC OF WHY I GOT IT

I went to a genshin panel that got done early, so the host/Neuvillette decided to do a mad libs with everyone. They said to try and keep the words genshin related so the first word I thought of was "tartagalicious" and after much debate with me and my friend decided that word would fall under adjective. So when they say they need an adjective I raise my hand and say it, and holy shit the Neuvillette took one look at me and was like "of course you of all people would say that." Anyway the Tartaglia thought that was funny too and they blew me a kiss and when I tell you I was FREAKING OUT- It's actually embarrassing how my friend had to calm me down. Anyway once the panel/mad libs was over I went and asked them for a picture, they said yes and now I have that silly little thing to remember :)

(also once again ranted about this on my writing blog but I'm still honestly processing it so uh yeah I'm talking about it here too) Anyway, I got to meet Alejandro Saab!! I paid $10 to get Jing Yuans quote with it but it was sooo worth it. That poster is like my favorite ever so I'm happy I could get him to sign it :) we also talked a little about the book "a court of thorns and roses" bc he was talking about it on stream the other day, which I sadly had to stop watching bc I didn't want spoilers. He said it's really good so far so I'm super excited to keep reading it!!

Also the second picture was another favorite of mine, I won't say who they are but they were actually so sweet and did a whole presentation on decora fashion after the j fashion show we watched. Plus I made some candi while we listened so I do also have a new bracelet!!

Another super exciting person to meet was cyber girl!!! (I don't remember her exact user sorry I swear I'm a real fan 😔) anyway they were so nice and I bought the cutest sticker for my laptop from their brand candy☆trap!

Most of the other pictures are just other amazing cosplayers I met some I chatted with others I just thought they looked cool so I asked for a picture

I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of people that wanted to take a picture with me! I had 5-6 come up when I was dressed up as Zhongli, and 3 as Cirrus. To know people liked my cosplay so much that they want to take a picture that they'll keep makes me so happy. Like those people seriously made my day.

Okay I think rant is over, all in all I had a great time and I'm excited to go again next year, and (hopefully) not spend so much money there. (I currently have 11 dollars to my name but I'm working again soon so we're good >:D)

[theatrekidstatus]

Dominique x Anthony

☔︎Cast☔︎

Dom

Anthony

Stacy

Dom's pov: It was my first day of college and I sat in class "Hey can I sit here" a freckled boy asked "Sure" "hi I'm Anthony Ramos" "Dom" "Watcha writing" "Um nothing" "sum" "I'm writing a play um never mind" "can I read please" "no it's stupid" "not if it's written by you" I did a stupid girly giggle it was so embarrassing "can I see your play now" "sure, it's not finished and -um" "hey it's great I'd act in it" "thanks" "can I have your number" "sure" we exchange phones "what's your last name" "fishback" "different.... BUT IN A GOOD WAY" "thanks" "OK class I'm Ms.smith ill be teaching Shakespeare and plays,first assignment write a play or poem with a Partner "can I be your partner" he whispers "sure" he smiled at me I tried hiding my smile -1hr later-(I don't know how long college classes are) "hey what's your next class" "uh uh boy it's down time for me" "Same what's your hallway" "A" "what room" "A3" "cool I got A4" "yay we're neighbors" "we'll see ya" "hey Dom" "hey Stacy" "how was you theatre class or whatever" "good" "you're smiling mad hard" "it's nothing" "tell meeeeee" "fine we'll there was this cute boy in my class and he's awesome" "awww you're crushingggg" "shut up he's next door" "ooooooo,I wanna meet him" Stacy ran out the door "Stacy come here" she knocks aggressively and ant came out in a towel on his waist wet hair and bulging abs "hey Kevin what's up-AHHHHHHHH" "AHHHHH" "we're so sorry" he slammed the door "WHAT DID I TELL YOU" I whisper scream "I'm sorryyyyyyyyyyyy I just wanted to meet him" a knock at the door "come in" "hey I'm really sorry for slamming the door" "we're sorry for just coming up to your door" "not to be rude but what did you need?" "I wanted to meet doms lil friend" "Well hi, oh Dom wanna work on our play" "Sure" "I'll leave y'all alone" "🖕🏾" "😘" "So you wanna make any tweaks" "I think it's too cute we need some humor" "I got you" 30 minutes later "wow we're finished " "good now I can nap" "you only have-" "20 minutes i know and don't care" I think he left while he was gone I had a dream we took a nice long walk and just talked and made it to a beach in L. A and he sat me down and said "Dom I love you" and leaned in for a kiss and right when we were going to kiss I felt myself being shaken "Dom Dom Dom Dom" "What" "You have your next class now" "ugh" "what's your class" "tap" (idk if she dances just go wit it) "same" "you can tap?" "Nope" we laughed "Do you wanna brush your hair" "How bad" "15 strokes?" "Gimme" -in class- "I placed in level 3, you?" "Same" "I just can't escape you can I" "Nope" "AYE you two this is not high school stop your yapping and Get to tapping" We shared a look rolled our eyes and got to tapping 5 classes later (Google was so unclear) "I'm so glad my day is OVER" he grabbed me by the arm and started running fast and went to my dorm

"What the hell" "I'm sorry but the night class kids were coming and they have a REAL problem with being late" "How big" "15 inches" "Ew" "But they will beat up anyone in the hall after they're late" "ain't we a lil old for bullying" "you wanna get trampled or beat to a pulp" "nah nah" "exactly, so can I crash here for a few" "sure lover boy" "wow lil fish" "lil fish?" "Yep" "I should kick your ass out right now" "Well why am I lover boy" "I see how you look at Nataliaaa" Yeah sure it hurt that ant had a crush on another girl, but what can ya do? "shut up" "hahaha lover boy" "🙄" "are you gonna ask her out or just look at her like a dork" "shut up" "ok ok I'm done but are youuuu" "maybe I don't know" "you should" "do you like someone" "what no?!" "Oh my god you do spilllll" "no" "pleaseeee" "no" "whyyyyyy" "you'd laugh" "is it that ONE dude who in Shakespeare class" "ew no" "then I won't judgeeeeeeeeeeee" "nooooo,anyway we should practice our play" we here a knock "umm is Dominique fishbacks Room" "yeah" "can I come in" "ant go get the door" "ok" ant opens the door "oh hi ant" natlia greeted "h-i nat oh I'm sorry can I call you nat" "yeah is Dom here" "ye-ah ba-ck he-re" "hi nat what's up" "oh you dropped this in class and I wanted to give it to you" "oh my god I've been looking for that everywhere thank you" "no problem bye Dom bye ant" "bye" ant says weakly "see ya" i replied "ant I know we've been friends for a day and I can't be too rude but what the hell" "I know" "hey I'm sure someone has worse skills" "doesn't feel like it" "DOM" "STACY" "DO NOT GO OUT THERE WITH THOSE NIGHT COLLEGE KIDS THEY DO NOT PLAY" "ARE YOU OK" "yeah barley THEY'RE LIKE ZOMBIES" "lay down" "ok what's up ant" "hey" "are we ever going get to practice" "I don't know" we just laughed "I guess I should head out" ant left "CANT YALL JUST DATE" Stacy screamed "shut up he doesn't even like me" "yes he dose" "he likes- never mind" "OUHH TELL ME" "no I don't gossip" "it's me" "yeah anthor reason I can't trust you" "🖕" "😘"

Next DaY

"Hey lover boy" "Hi lil fish" "Is your girl here yet" "Shut up" he was so red "Haha" "is your man here yet" "Maybe" "Just tell me" "Can you keep a secret" "yeah" "good so can I" "🙄" "DUDE SHES HERE SHES RIGHT THERE" "oh my god shut up" "HI NAT" "hi Dom ant can I sit wit y'all" "sure" "so how's the play going" "amazing we worked so hard on it and we're proud RIGHT ANT" "mhm" "ok class we're gonna present because everyone seems comfortable and ready "Anthony gimme your book" "why" "just gimme" I highlighted his lines "thank you?" "No problem" "AND ANTHONY Dominique CAN GO FIRST" "Can we borrow someone from the class" "ILL DO IT" some kid yelled "OK Well get up here" We acted The thing out he wasn't that bad of an actor we finished up "wow you can act what else can you do" "a lot" "like what" "sing and play baseball" "sing?" "Yeah" "Can I hear" "No we're in class!" "After?" "Sure" AFTER CLASS

"LOVER BOY" "LIL FISH" "sing" "right here right now?" "YESSSSSS" "NOOOOOOOO" "Please" "Fine what song" "The beginning song to In the Heights" "UGHH lights up on Washington hights" "WOAH YOU CAN SING, "Stacy says while cutting In the middle of us "Yeah kinda," he says while stroking his hair" "don't be shy now lover boy" "lover boy?" "It's an inside joke" "Well I got class See ya two" "BYE" "Now back to your song" -aFtEr SoNg- (a/n AND NO I WILL NOT BE WRITING THE WHOLE THING)

"Wow" "Thanks?" "Oh no the night kids are coming RUN!" We crashed In my dorm "Why is your side of the room so underdecorted" "I dont care about how it looks only if I get work done" "Be for real" "Fine I'm broke" he Chuckled a little "um hey dom I have a question for you" "yeah" "should I ask nat out" wow that kinda hurt but I want him to be happy "of course" "what if she says no" "she probably not your a great guy but if she does you'll find some one else" I say while sitting next to him and placing my hand on his "thanks dom" "should I text her or ask in class" "in class" "cool can I practice on you sure" "so I've liked you for a while and I was wondering if you want to go out some time" "perfect now are you actually going to say that" "shut up" he said while we both laughed "I hope so" "oh it's time to clock out see you tomorrow" "y'all are so cute" "shush stace"

-next day-

I went to class I was always first but today I was second "Lover boy" "lil fish" "What are you doing here" "Sweating" "nerves?" "Yeah" "Don't worry it's okay remember no is just a word that can't hurt you but she shouldn't have to tell you repeatedly" "Hey guys I didn't expect you to be here so early" "hey nat can I ask you a question" "Sure" "So I've liked you for a while and I was wondering if you want to go out sometime" she just burst out a laugh "you'd think I go out WITH YOU" she just started laughing hard and ant just slumped down red-faced tears forming "you good" "no" "wanna say you're sick and skip" "mhm" "hey professor ants a little sick can I take him to a nurse or his dorm" "you can just borrow the notes from someone else" "thank you"

-in the dorm-

"Anthony you know if you wanna cry it's ok too" "How could I be so stupid to think she loves ME" "It's not stupid it is stupider that she doesn't" "Is there something wrong with m-" I cut him off with a kiss he looks at me "I'm sorry" and ran off I ran out the whole building I get a called from Stacy "where the fuck are you" I explain everything "stay right there I am going to get you" "hey" "ant."

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 6)

Part 5 was posted very late and it took me so long to do and tired me out, so I was debating whether or not I should post today or leave it for tomorrow until I remembered that it's VALENTINE'S DAY! I'd be writing about them today anyway, so why not just post? Y'all just have more reading material for later.

Anyway, we just went over the Reo Arc! We know from Natsume's essay that his feelings have done a complete 180 and he's now very into her, but she's not privy to that information. Instead, we'll focus on her side of things and her newfound fondness for him.

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Chapter Seventeen

This last arc was a major turning point for both Natsume and Mikan. The difference is that Natsume has caught feelings (intensely romantic in nature), and Mikan has just started to think of him as a new friend. Just like Natsume doesn’t realize that Mikan has started to understand him better, Mikan is and will continue to be entirely oblivious to his romantic feelings for her. 

Mikan begins her day in a great mood: she’s a single star now and has an immediate promotion in accommodations. She’s made a few more friends and she’s helped rescue somebody. She’s proud of herself. It’s not hard to make Mikan happy. She’s only a single star now, but her increased allowance, nicer room, and tastier food are all a huge step up from her no-star status, so she’s over the moon. By the time she finally gets to class for the first time in a week since the incident, everybody has heard rumors about what happened and is demanding details. Mikan, always eager to be liked and bask under the scope of positive attention, is happy to comply. She and Sumire fight under the spotlight for just a moment until Ruka and Natsume enter the classroom.

Sumire is Mikan’s friend now. She will always be difficult in some ways, but Mikan gets her now. Mikan doesn’t need people to be perfect to like them. She just needs to see that side of goodness, to understand how they work, in order to properly appreciate them. This is why I don’t think she’s a masochist. She’s just more patient than a normal person might be. She is willing to tolerate a certain level of bad behavior if she can see the goodness now and then. She’s always felt that way about Hotaru, and now she can feel that way about Natsume and Sumire. She was able to figure Sumire out, so now they can be friends, in their own special way, even if she isn’t as nice or sweet as one might expect. 

NatsuMikan is able to function solely because Mikan is willing to put in effort. Natsume might love her now but her persistence is what allows them to have any kind of relationship.

Mikan wants that to be the case with Natsume. After all, she learned so much about him during that kidnapping incident. She sees him in an increasingly better light. That must mean she gets him now, that she’s figured him out the same way she’s figured Sumire out. So she smiles at him. That’s what friends do--smile at each other! “Good morning,” she begins to say, but he’s already turned around, intent on ignoring her.

The thing is, Mikan hasn’t figured Natsume out. She’s only gotten more clues to unlocking the bigger picture, but she still has a while to go before she can finally understand him. She might want to be friends with him now, but he’s giving off no indication that he feels the same. 

But Ruka is. He smiles at her and greets her. 

That’s good enough for now. After all, Mikan understands Natsume well enough now to accept that he won’t all of a sudden act like a best friend. She understands Sumire, and she’s starting to figure out Natsume. That’s a good start, and she’s still pleased with it. 

These days everyone is working on the culture fest. Mikan gets little previews of what the other classes are working on, but one by one, all her classmates are summoned away by their ability class teachers. And although Mikan is excited to continue her work on the special ability class’s event, she can’t help but be jealous that her class doesn’t seem to have a teacher. 

She's so insecure she's even jealous of the DA Class for having a teacher. Ridiculous. Trust me, Mikan--you don't want him.

She again feels like a reject, like a loser. Mikan compares herself to others often, creating expectations for herself and her circumstances that wouldn’t exist otherwise. She loves the SA class. It’s a place where she can feel accepted and at home. But other classes work a certain way, so she feels like her class lacking those particular features means that there’s somehow something wrong with her. 

Lucky for her, the SA class does have a teacher, a time-tripper named Nodacchi who is frequently absent because of his chaotic alice. Mikan is very happy with her new teacher. He is just what she wanted from an ability teacher. He’s also intent on helping her train her alice. After all, her alice will be central in making sure their festival event goes smoothly.

Before they begin their training, he gives a tutorial on alice shapes. There are four shapes, and Nodacchi tells her that figuring out which shape her alice has will be important in the future (yes, it will). Mikan is struck with the new realization that an alice can disappear, that her classmates could leave, that she might have to leave. After all, each alice has its own unique lifespan.

Except, as Misaki points out, the fourth type is a little different. With the fourth type, the alice use (which is limitless--to an extent) affects the user’s lifespan. It’s not a matter of leaving the school earlier than planned; it’s a matter of life or death.

Mikan instantly thinks of Natsume.

She figures this out so fast. Don't be fooled by her trying to dispel the "bad thoughts"--she'll always keep this concept in mind.

A genius Alice with an enormous amount of power, who sometimes becomes so weak and exhausted he’s hospitalized? Natsume fits the bill pretty well…

But Mikan is horrified that she randomly thought of Natsume for no good reason and shakes herself.

Mikan is incredibly intuitive. She gets feelings about things and is quick to connect dots. She knows very little about Natsume but is already on the verge of figuring out his alice shape. The thing is that Mikan is ten years old, a little stupid, and her relationship with Natsume is complicated. She’s not consciously evaluating and investigating Natsume. He’s just a bothersome classmate who is a little less bothersome than he was before. If he comes to mind during a lecture, her first instinct isn’t to look closer at why that might be--it’s to shake herself free of those weird unwelcome thoughts and move on. So instead of wondering why she thought of Natsume in relation to conversation about the fourth alice shape, she’s wondering why she thought of Natsume at all. And so she moves it from her mind.

(It’s also worth noting that Mikan has this lesson with Noda after the Reo incident in the manga, whereas in the anime, she has it before. In the anime, it seems more random, thinking of Natsume like that. She has no real reason to assume he’s sickly, but as the anime continues she sees more evidence proving which shape he has. In the manga, she has already seen that he can get ill, and she’ll only see further evidence in the future. Additionally, her refusal to think about it will cease to be about her being naive and begin to be about the fact that she doesn’t want it to be true so she refuses to think about it.)

Now it’s time to start training Mikan’s alice. She’s going to stop Nodacchi from time-tripping, a much more straight-forward approach than she had been anticipating. But she has no time to linger on it, because he’s already starting to disappear. Freaked out and overwhelmed, she tackles him, her alice successfully keeping him grounded. 

Nodacchi is repentant that he used such a scary tactic, but he was sure it would work to unleash her potential. He tells her there was once a person who had the same nullification alice as her. That person used their alice best when they were protecting people. And like father, like daughter, that’s the way it works for Mikan as well. Yes, she can use her alice to protect herself from time to time, but for the most part, her alice is at its best when she’s protecting somebody. 

Another connection to her parents!

We can see yet another connection between Mikan and a mysterious other person. First that woman and now her dad; Mikan only gets little references and suggestions of people who have things in common with her. It’s easy to assume that just because Mikan doesn’t linger on this that she dismisses the information, but we know that’s not true. Mikan feels a connection with her father, as evidenced by the omake we discussed at the beginning of this essay. This does not go above her head, as we’ll see in a chapter or two after the Christmas Ball. I’ll discuss it more later, but it’s still worth it to keep it in mind as we read ahead.

Mikan has already demonstrated that her alice works best protecting others a few times, particularly just now in the Reo Arc, when she was able to stop Natsume from killing himself with her alice. Again, the protective potential of her alice is so incredible that it’s sad she constantly feels insecure about it. As I said, Mikan compares herself with others too much, and when she sees what other alices can do, she starts feeling like there’s something wrong with her when she can’t do the same thing. 

But she is happy to hear that her alice can protect others. She has been concerned since she first discovered her alice that it might be a selfish power. Hearing Nodacchi tell her that somebody with the very same alice focused his power on protecting others and not just himself makes her feel a lot better about her nullification. She can protect people because someone like her was able to do it.

So she excitedly gets ready to continue the training--only for the nullification not to work the next time.

Chapter Eighteen

It’s time for the Alice Culture Festival! 

Mikan is running late for the opening ceremony because she accidentally went to the wrong place on account of being very tired. She’s been doing a lot of alice training, so it’s exhausting for her.

Especially because her alice training is with Natsume.

Because Nodacchi disappeared, Mikan is low on options. She has to train with someone who has an offensive alice, something she can counter, so Hotaru and most of her SA classmates are out of the question. She nullifies pheromones without any effort, so asking Narumi would be no good. Asking Koko would probably be a good idea because she continues to be weak to his alice throughout the manga, but instead she approaches Natsume, who certainly has an offensive alice. He’s her partner too, so he might have extra reason to help her, maybe?

"This is bullying!" "This is humor!" Blah blah. Sure, but it's also an act of love.

I think it’s telling that she approached him. Whether or not he’s nice to her yet is irrelevant. She fully contemplates this later during the Z Arc (and me mentioning this arc so often is maybe foreshadowing that there will be lots to read when those chapters come around) but for now it might be a less conscious thought: so far in the story, her big uses of her alice have involved Natsume’s alice. She’s been most successful with him, so asking him is only natural.

She pleads with him, desperate to train her alice, and is surprised when he easily agrees. But he’s a sadist, and obviously only agreed so that he could torture her! It was a hard few days, she recalls, but ultimately her alice did get better. 

So Mikan and Natsume spent time together. Seeing as Nodacchi gave her the primary goal of refining her alice, Mikan must have spent most of the time she was meant to be working on the culture fest with Natsume. He’s not doing anything anyway, so she can practice with him--and suffer--for most of the time leading up to the beginning of the festival. The details of all this time spent together isn’t shown, but it’s fun to imagine how it went.

(Again you must forgive me for only offering Mikan’s perspective here. This is her essay after all. If you still haven’t read Natsume’s part, feel free to read his parts as they’re more outwardly romantic and for longer.)

As she’s musing on this moment, she trips and falls, leading her to meet the Principal students. They are elegant and kind and Mikan is impressed by them, so much so that she immediately spills about it to Hotaru and Yuu when she finally meets up with them again. Since Sakurano is on stage at that very moment, Yuu gives her a little introduction and tells her that there are Principal students and trainees (like him and Hotaru), and that each ability class has a representative (where is the SA class rep? We shall see). 

That boy is just everywhere. Truly unavoidable.

He goes through the line-up and points them out on stage until he reaches Natsume--presumably the dangerous ability class representative. But not even Yuu knows much about Natsume’s situation or why exactly he’s on stage. Natsume is a mystery to all, and yet everyone seems to know him. The Principal students, just like everyone else, immediately recognize her as Natsume’s partner. According to the school gossip, Mikan cannot be brought up without her relation to Natsume. Natsume, being a special star in addition to the prize of the DA class, being paired up with a random new student is still bizarre, and Narumi caused quite a stir with that decision. Now everybody assumes that there’s something special about Mikan too, and there is, though she doesn’t quite understand it yet.

In any case, the festival has finally started. All preparation has paid off because everything looks wonderful--the sets, the costumes, and all the kinks are worked out. The only problem is that despite their initial enthusiasm, nobody’s coming. The SA attraction is out of the way compared to everybody else, and even if it wasn’t, they still have a reputation for being lame. When they finally find some people walking by, they rush to greet them, only to have their class and attraction torn apart before it’s even tried out. 

Mikan is crushed by this encounter. They don’t need to see it to know that it's bad. The SA class is full of misfits, and while being in the class itself is a blast, not worrying about what others think, the fact of the matter is that other people judge them and look down on them. In a school-wide festival, that kind of prejudice is felt. It feels like all of her insecurities are being laid out--the class is full of useless leftovers, not even worth checking out.

I was always so jealous of Mikan for having an older brother-figure who looked after her like this. They have such a wholesome dynamic.

But Tsubasa cheers her up instantly, reminding her that they’re at the bottom, so they can only go up. If people are prejudiced, then they need to change their minds. They expect garbage, so they’ll be easy to impress. Mikan is instantly back in high spirits, because it’s usually not hard to cheer her up for those who put in the effort.

Just like I talked about Natsume’s weird bond with Tsubasa in his essay, I’ll touch on Mikan’s relationship with him in this one. Tsubasa is like an older brother to Mikan. They’re obviously much closer than just classmates. Though she loves everyone in the SA class, Tsubasa is special to her and their bond is deeper than the ones she shares with the other students. Tsubasa is the first person in the school who understood her and comforted her. He’s just like her in a lot of ways, looked down on and treated like trash for not being a star student. They’re labeled as troublemakers and rejects, but Tsubasa was the first person who didn’t argue with that label, and instead embraced it. It was his words that finally gave Mikan a place to feel like she belonged. Now, he’s able to see when something bothers her and is quickly able to remedy it. Tsubasa is one of Mikan’s healthiest relationships because he looks out for her without creating unfair demands. He wants to cheer her up, but instead of just telling her to smile, he gives her a reason to. 

Sumire, Ruka, and Narumi stop by just in time to see the SA class excited again. Though Sumire insists that they’re only there because they have nothing else to do, they are clearly there to give some support and to be the first customers to try the SA attraction. Mikan compliments their cute Alice in Wonderland themed outfits, and then requests reciprocity, asking if they like her outfit too. She is still the shallow girl she was in the beginning, and seeing as she’s in a cool new outfit of her own for the festival, she wants to be complimented (very cute of her). Narumi is quick to flatter, Sumire is quick to insult, and Ruka doesn’t say much of anything, which is super weird to Mikan.

They start playing and all of them are crushed by the game in a different way. It’s a tough game, and Mikan is the hardest level, the big boss at the end. It’s a clever and engaging game, and in no time at all, it’s a big hit.

Chapter Nineteen

The second Mikan hears word that Natsume of all people has stopped by at her attraction, she abandons her post to go see him.

I can only imagine how that went down--that Mikan heard Natsume was there and then jumped down from her carpet, reasoning that most people don’t reach the end anyway. She doesn’t wait to see him, in any case. Natsume is here! 

She's so excited to see him! He's given her no reason to be excited to see him but she still is!

She’s excited to share her accomplishments with him now, whether it’s the SA event or getting a star rank upgrade. Though she wants validation from everyone, it seems so specific to want attention from somebody so unlikely to give any.

She is very excited to see him, her partner, her new friend, the guy helping her train her alice. He wasn’t aware of it, but he also helped her get pumped for the festival which allowed her to come up with the idea. Mikan is proud of the RPG. She wants to show it off to as many people as she can, and that includes Natsume. Mikan is insecure about a lot of things and she requires a feeling of validation. Having her friends come see her attraction makes her feel proud of herself. Natsume is a tough critic, but he’s here, and she’s so excited to impress him with the game she helped come up with that she wastes no time before she goes to see him. 

Just like with the somatic class visitors, Mikan asks his opinion on her outfit, but for some reason Natsume can’t allow a moment to be nice. He has to ruin everything by being a jerk, and so he pulls her top out and then comments on her flat chest. Mikan’s mood is instantly ruined. That’s just what happens when she gives him a chance to be nice. 

But Tsubasa shows up--reliable and kind Tsubasa--so she has someone to rush to for comfort. 

Natsume is rubbing salt in the wound--insulting the RPG and everyone who is playing it, wondering why anyone would get addicted to such a lame game. 

What Mikan wants is validation and positive attention, like anybody else would want when they’ve created something they’re proud of. For some reason, whenever Natsume is around, he’s just rude, and for seemingly no reason. She wants to think that they could get along, or be friends, but he only ever manages to be unpleasant. And right now, especially hurtful, because this RPG was something she and her class worked on for a long time.

Somehow, Tsubasa manages to convince Natsume to participate.

Mikan is located at the very end of the maze. Most people don’t get that far, and definitely not very quickly. She figures Natsume, despite his rude arrogance, is no exception. So she bides her time and eats a banana, unconcerned.

He must have cheated somehow.

Until Natsume does show up, and rather quickly too. He just wants to get the last test over with, and Mikan doesn’t mind that either, explaining curtly that he has to get her off her carpet in thirty seconds without touching her. She is very proud of the fact that all their training means that she can nullify his alice easily, so he shouldn’t even bother. 

Nobody has managed to pass Mikan. Her task is nearly impossible. She is certain Natsume won’t pass either. She is unmoved by his cockroach attempt and even seems annoyed when he slowly slumps down the wall. He’s been nothing but rude all day so she won’t give him the satisfaction of winning the game, no matter how quickly he got to her level. She’s not going to waste her time worrying about a jerk like that. She tells him flat out that acting sick won’t work, but he’s sweating and breathing heavily, not responding to her. It all feels a little too real, and she calls to him, concerned. Then, she remembers Nodacchi’s lecture and his description of the fourth alice shape. She’d thought of Natsume then, and she thinks of him now. What if he is ill? 

Because she was there during the kidnapping. She saw how weak and sick he was, how much he was struggling. What if this is just like that? What if he’s really sick and he needs help? Mikan thought of Natsume before but quickly dismissed it. We can see now that maybe her dismissal wasn’t entirely due to naivete. She just didn’t want to think about somebody she considers a friend having a shape like that (I’ll talk about this more during the--you guessed it--Z Arc).

Bizarre that he wins this maze purely because she cares about him.

Mikan is so distracted by her worry that she forgets about the RPG for a second (another example of her prioritizing others so much that she can't consider or ponder any other action). Helping Natsume is most important, so she calls out to him again and then jumps off the carpet so she can help him--

Just to be yanked down and pulled into a mocking embrace. And then, to seal the deal: he calls her a moron. 

Mikan has been tricked. Bamboozled. Made a fool of. 

Natsume is the first person to pass the game and Mikan is ashamed of herself for falling for his dirty tricks. He took advantage of her worry and concern and then called her an idiot for caring. Such a jerk. Her anger over being tricked quickly overrides her concern about the fourth alice shape. It's important to note that while this never fully vacates her thoughts, it's something she's more than willing to push aside and not linger on. Any excuse will do and Natsume does a great job in providing them.

She’s upset yet again, clinging to Tsubasa, her only solace in a world of shame and anger, as Natsume picks his prize: one of the SA class members’ lamps. 

Natsume is so lucky that she's not paying attention to Koko.

But instead of picking Tsubasa’s, he picks hers! Koko says something about reading Natsume’s mind to see which one to pick, but Mikan isn’t really listening. All she cares about is that Natsume has ruined her day and is now about to ruin her whole week! How is she supposed to have a fun festival if she has to spend it granting Natsume’s stupid wishes? There’s no way they would be kind or fun wishes, either--probably just another excuse to tease or torment her.

Conclusion

Mikan is put in the unbearable situation of liking Natsume for reasons that are very easy to forget once he opens his mouth. He seems to relish being a jerk, in fact, almost as if to spite her for daring to want to be friends with him. He will continue to challenge her for the rest of the arc.

We have just begun the culture fest! It will maybe take me another two posts to wrap it up, so please bear with me. Tumblr recently raised their image limit so it's way more than ten (I believe it's 30 now) and I thought that meant my Mikan essays could afford to be longer when I post them, that I could include more chapters per post. But no. Absolutely not. Yesterday's entire Reo Arc post took a LOT out of me. Formatting them is very tiresome and exhausting so even though these posts are fun, I don't like spending 3-4 hours on editing each post when my Natsume ones took half that amount. So it'll be more pictures, same amount of text. Probably. Thank you for your patience :)

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[tessatales]

The Ressurection of Love: Chapter Three (Spencer Reid x Original Female Character)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Original Female Character

Themes: Case is over and the team just want to let loose before their day off

Warnings: Alcohol is consumed. Apart from that no other warnings

A/N: Hey Y'all, how's it going? please let me know what you think of this fic! any feedback is appreciated honestly. there will be two cases that you'll actually get to see during this fic, but they're not till later. So stay tuned! anyway, enjoy :)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

- - - - - - - - -

“To Alyssa’s first successful case!” Emily shouted, raising her glass for the rest of the team to toast with her. Spencer raised his beer in the air. The case had been a relatively quick one, with the child being returned to the family and the Unsub arrested within two days of the team touching down in the city.

“So how do you feel now you’ve been out in the field with us.” JJ asked, turning to Alyssa with her drink poised at her lips. She shrugged.

“I’ve been out on the field before, just never like this, so I guess I feel the same kind of triumph as I would when i was back in New York, but there’s something else that I can't quite put my finger on” she explained, looking at the team as they all nodded in agreement.

“Why are we talking about work? We’ve got the next 24 hours off!” Garcia said, pointing an accusing finger at everyone as she returned from the bar with more drinks.

“Baby girl, you’re always the voice of reason” Derek replied, smirking as he took the fresh bottle from Penelope's tray.

“So Alyssa, what’s your story?” Emily said, bumping her shoulder against the newbies.

“What do you mean?" Alyssa asked, looking embarrassed to be put on the spot as each teammate turned in her direction.

“Well apart from being Spencers neighbour, we don’t know anything about you!” Penelope said, pointing the umbrella in her drink towards the boy genius.

Spencer made a point to stay quiet during this conversation, wanting more than anything to get information about his new neighbour and teammate.

“And don’t try telling us what’s on your file, cause I’ve read that cover to cover” JJ said, smiling as she swirled her drink.

Alyssa laughed. “Well I grew up in Brooklyn, did all the usual stuff.” she said, seeming to think for things to say.

“I applied for the academy a month before my 23rd birthday and I got my acceptance letter the day after said birthday” Alyssa continued.

“Wow, someone was eager” Derek commented. Alyssa shrugged.

“I’d needed a change and i didn’t want to wait to see if i would get accepted later” She explained, dipping her head slightly as she seemed to think back. Spencer caught the expression, but quickly filed it away for later.

“Family?” Aaron asked, his posture so much more relaxed than when he's in the office.

“Only child. My parents moved out to the country after I graduated college as part of an early retirement plan” Alyssa explained between sips of her drink.

"So you've got no one here?" Penelope said, her expression dropping slightly. Alyssa shook her head.

"Oh no its not like that! I talk to them all the time via text and video call, as well as we take it in turns visiting each other during the holidays." she continued, placing her hand over Penelopes in a reassuring gesture. "A few of my friends from high school are spread out between here and California too." Alyssa replied, draining the remains of her drink. Spencer watched Penelope relax hearing this, her protective sisterly instincts clearly waging a war inside her as she'd listened to Alyssa.

"Plus a few people from the academy I still talk to." Alyssa added with a shrug.

"Oh the academy, the storys I came out of that place with" Emily said, laughing to herself.

"Well don't leave us hanging, spill!" Alyssa said, turning to face Emily.

Spencer decided not to mention the subject change Alyssa has so skillfully orchestrated and instead sat back and listened to Emily's story. He'd heard it several times before and remembered every detail of it, but he wasn't going to ruin the experience for Alyssa by ruining the punchline.

"Whos up for Karaoke?" Alyssa asked once Emily had finished, her voice breathy from laughing and a playful glint in her eye as she scanned the teams faces. The girls were practically vibrating with excitement.

"SSA Andrews where have you been my whole life?" Penelope squealed, grabbing Alyssa's hand from across the table. Spencer reached over and pick up his now empty bottle.

"That's my que to get the next round of drinks" Spencer said, taking the teams orders and weaving his way to the bar.

- - - - - - - - - - -

"I love you guys" Penelope slurred, wobbling out the doorway with Derek in tow. They'd stayed longer than they usually did, the team seeming to get caught up in the music as they all took turns on the karaoke machine.

Although Spencer wouldn't of minded joining in, something held him back, his feet unable to move him towards the stage as he watched his friends sing out of key.

"We love you too, let's get you home Baby Girl" Derek said, a smile on his lips. Penelope purred.

"Hmmm, you know your my favorite right?" Penelope said, leaning heavily into Derek as he hailed a cab.

"We'll pretend we didn't hear that Garcia" Aaron said with a laugh. when a cab arrived, Aaron got the door, opening it wide before helping Derek get Penelope inside.

"Are we cab sharing or shall we hail another?" Emily asked, her head lolling against JJ shoulders in a sleepy nature. Hotchner thought for a moment before talking to the driver.

"He says we can try and squeeze in if we want" Hotch said, looking between the group and the taxi driver.

"I was gonna walk back" Spencer said, slipping his hands into his pockets. Aaron nodded.

"I'll walk with you then, if that's alright with you" Alyssa said, turning towards Spencer.

" Sure, but just a warning, it's a 10 block walk." Spencer commented, watching as his new neighbours face change multiple times before replying.

"I don't mind, I'm not drunk enough for the walk to be a struggle. Plus I've got plans tomorrow so the walk gives me chance to sober up a bit" Alyssa replied, buttoning her jacket against the cooling night air.

"We'll see you guys in 24 hours then," Hotch said, squeezing himself into the remaining space of the cab before telling the driver the individual addresses. Spencer waved as he watched the taxi peel away from the sidewalk.

"Shall we?" Spencer said, gesturing in the direction of their complex.

"We shall" Alyssa replied as she fell into step beside him.

- - - - - - - - - -

Spencer could feel the ringing in his ears begin to subside as they moved further away from the bar. Nether of them seeming to know what to say.

"How are you finding the change?" Spencer asked finally, deciding that the semi awkward silence had stretched on long enough.

"Do you mean the job or the move to the city?" Allysa replied, glancing up at Spencer as they walked. The boy genius shrugged.

"I guess both really, let's go with the move to the city first" Spencer said after a pause, deciding which one he was more curious about.

"This will sound clique, but it's so loud! I don't understand how people can live in such a disruptive place without begging for some silence once in a while" Alysa said, releasing a breath after her mini rant.

"You get used to it. Although I grew up in Las Vegas so I don't think I get a say in the loud thing" Spencer said as he kicked the toe of his white converse into the weeds that grew between the cracks in the sidewalk.

"Las Vegas? Wow, I bet here's quiet for you then" Alyssa said with a laugh.

"What about work then? I hope you're a little more settled there. Even if you've only been on one case" Spencer asked, steering the conversation away from his childhood and back to her.

"Oh I'm loving it. I was just a simple field agent before. It was all, stop this and argue that. Protect this person." Alyssa said, and Spencer took her distraction as an opportunity to watch her closely as they walked. He wasn't sure what he was looking for, but he felt his shoulders relax when he didn't see it in her face as she spoke.

They walked in a more comfortable silence for a while after that, nether one seeming to know what else to say until Spencer remembered what he'd seen in the bar.

"Hey, now you can tell me to shut up if you like; but what was up in the bar when you were talking about needing a change?" Spencer asked

"What do you mean?" Alyssa asked, her voice changing as she seemed to guard herself.

"When you talked about needing a change, your body language showed calm but your micro expressions told me there was something else" Spencer admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh, I forgot about us profilers and out perseptiness." Alyssa said with a sigh, her shoulders dropping back into their more relaxed position.

"My ex. He was a textbook narcissist, with a whole host of other issues I decided to ignore because I was young and naive and I thought I could change him." Alyssa confessed, keeping her eyes fixed on the sidewalk as she spoke.

"So you applied for the academy to get away from him?" Spencer continued, trying to keep his tone light.

"Yeah, if I hadn't gotten in, we'd of been going to the same law school for another 3 years. I needed out. So I applied for the FBI and never looked back."

"From what I've seen so far, the FBI would of been fools not to let you in" Spencer said, as he tried to lighten the mood. Alyssa laughed

Turning the corner, the pair arrived at their building. They chatted some more as they rode the elevator up to their floor.

"I guess I'll see you around tomorrow then" Spencer said as he approached his apartment door, turning to lean against it as he faced Alyssa's door.

"Maybe, I'm meant to be meeting friends from home. They're here for a work event and we said we'd try to meet up." Alyssa said, mimicking Spencers posture as she leant against her own door.

"Well then, see you at work I guess, enjoy your day out" Spencer replied.

"Hey Spencer"

"Hmm?" Spencer replied, stopping mid turn.

" Because of their work event, the plans with my friends might fall through tomorrow, if they do would you fancy hanging out?" Alyssa suggested. Spencer hesitated for a moment.

When was the last time someone offered to spend time with me outside of work that isn't part of a therapy plan?

Spencer thought to himself, the idea sitting uncomfortably in his gut as it began to churn.

"Sure, I have a phone meeting tomorrow at 9 but apart from that I'm not busy." He finally replied, squashing the uncomfortable feeling as it continued to flip flop in his body. Alyssa smiled.

"Fantastic! Sarah's an early riser so i'll know by 8 if we can meet or not. Shall I knock around 10 or would you like me to text for just in case you're still on the phone?"

"It's not a long call, I'll be off the phone by 9:30 if you want to stop by after then" Spencer confirmed, using his idyllic memory to figure out his average time on the phone to his therapist.

"Great, so I'll maybe see you tomorrow then, Night Spencer" Alyssa said, giving a slight wave before slipping into her apartment.

"Night..." Spencer replied, his voice quiet in the silent hallway. Slipping into his apartment, Spencer made sure to write down his concerns in the jornal he kept ready to discuss with Dr Whiting before dragging himself to bed.

[bunnyluvs-blog]

My Experiment (Donnie x Reader chp5)

since im gonna disappear for a week im gonna write a mini chapter for advance the plot to where i want it and chp 6 is gonna be the finial i think. yippy !

As you and Donnie danced, you could feel the build up rising in you. You were so scared to kiss him. The dance was going well but lord, what if this kiss ruined y'all friend ship. You couldnt let happen. You didnt need to be his partner, being his friend was enough. When the kiss finally came, you tilted your head to the side, so he would kiss your cheek and not your lips. The was too much anyways. You turned red, but you couldnt tell if it was because of happiness or embarrassment. You left the room before anyone could say anything. Holding back tears, you didnt want to kiss Donnie because you had to, you wanted to do it because you wanted to.

Everyone just watched you leave. "Ok spill it, what was the point of this" Donnie said with a somewhat angry tone. April and Leo looked at eachother and looked away. He knew it, he knew they had planned something. "We didn't mean any harm, we just wanted to, speed the process along..??" Leo said with an anxious tone, trying not to piss his brother off more. What process? Just because he liked you doesnt mean you liked him. "Leo they dont like me like that, dont force it." Donnie said taking a deep breath and he left the room.

You were hiding from everyone. You were embarrassed, upset, confused, and just plain, stupid. God you shouldve just kissed him. Maybe you shouldve just said no to the kiss. Either way, you were filled with emotions. You didnt wanna talk, see, or just think about anything. You just wanted to be by yourself.

Its been a whole 3 days. And you havent left your corner. Execpt for a few times for the restroom, and food. And donnie has had enough. He missed you, your smile, your laugh, hell even dancing with you was the most fun thing ever to him. He was so worried about you that he hasnt even spent a second working on finding you a way home. He went to your entrance to your 'room' and called out your name. "what" you responded. "I need to talk to you, it's important." He said, it was so soft, yet strong. You poked your head out and came out. "What is it" you asked him. "Why?" He said "Why..? why what" "why did you turn your head, why did you run away, why havent you been out here with us, with me?" he said, he sounded so hurt. You had your reasons for locking and hiding yourself from the world, but the main reason, was him. "Because" you said quitely. "i couldn't have you kiss me infront of everyone, i wanted you too kiss me because thats what felt right to us, not because of some dumb dance! I wanted you to kiss me, because you liked me!" You poured your heart out to Donnie, while he just listened. You didnt know how he would react, or if your friendship would last this after this practical confession. All you knew was that you couldnt keep on rotting like this. "I dont know what going to happen after this but god damn it Donnie i really really like you!" You said semi-loudly and just like that, he kissed you. God, it was just, lovely. You slowly kissed him back. You didnt know how long the kiss lasted but you didnt care. once y'all finished your half makeout session, you both turned bright red, it just clicked that you two kissed. You didnt know if you guys should talk about whats next or not, or if this was just a one time thing, until Donnie spoked up, "I really really like you too"

Chapter 5: complete !

Click here for chapter 6

[allylikethecat]

i had to do an errand that required me to drive into the rural part of my city and i saw horses in a field and immediately started thinking about atkh… i’m suffering from the worst brainrot..(in the best way possible ;))

anyway talk shop tuesday!!

when you dont ask us which fic we want in a poll, how do you decide which fic you post?? i assume some fics are just farther along in your notes but do you update multiple fics at once or do you choose ahead of time which one you’re gonna post and then just focus on writing for that one??

-🥤

Hello My Dear Smoothie Anon!!

If it makes you feel any better, I am twenty eight years old, I own a horse, I typically see him 5-6 days a week, most of my friends also own horses, some who have them in their back yards, and I also live in a very "horsie" area so I see them literally all the time I spent SO MUCH TIME with horses its ridiculous. HOWEVER without fail, I do excitedly announce / shout HORSIE whenever I'm driving and see one out in the world, which is always extremely jarring to whoever is with me when they aren't expecting it lol So like, I get it 😂 I hope you enjoy Friday's update! I know I am excited about it!

Happy Talk Shop Tuesday! Now onto your question now that I got my horse fan-girling out of the way lol

It's kind of a mix, I usually try to work on each fic a little bit here and there (that way I don't get burnt out on any of them) but obviously sometimes I pull further ahead in one. When I don't do a poll it's usually because I've realized I haven't updated one in a while, and I have an update either ready or almost ready. For example, before today the most recent update to Ducklings had been March 26th so I was like shit- I should probably update that one it's been a month lol Now that today's Ducklings chapter has been posted, I'm pretty much in the same spot with all the fics in the poll (other than All the King's Horses that one is actually nearly completed, I however have two different possible endings mapped out for that one and I need to decide which one to follow - and I'm planning on using the feedback on the next few chapters to make that decision so it's extra important for y'all to tell me what you think lol!) SO I figured I would open it up and see which one y'all were interested in next because as much as I love writing and do it for myself, it is fun when people read it and enjoy it, and I do like to take that into consideration. If I hadn't done a poll, it would have been the next chapter of The Birthday fic purely because that one was updated the longest ago now (other than You Know Where the City Is but that one is currently hurting me so an update will be slower lol) I hope this makes sense!!

Thank you so much for being so wonderful and sending this ask and reading and being so supportive! I always get a smile when I see that Smoothie Anon has appeared in my inbox! Thank you so much! I hope your Tuesday was lovely and that you have a wonderful week!

❤️Ally