#anyway i need to go to bed apparently if i've already started planning like six things to write
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
so many essay ideas and such little sleep to support healthy planting, watering, and nurturing for them all
#the latest: tolkien's idea of recovery in lockwood and co (plus a sprinkle of eucatastrophe)#and something about tiffany aching#and i REALLY want to do something with my sir orfeo notes!#sometimes i'm like wow i despise being a student i have to write so many papers#and sometimes i'm like wow i love being a student i get to write so many papers#anyway i need to go to bed apparently if i've already started planning like six things to write#(adventures in class)
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
AITA for wanting to cut ties with my ex?
I (22) have been friends with my ex-fiancé (21) since we were 14. We were best friends for years and they crushed on me for ages, until we finally started going out when I was ~18. We were each other's firsts and we got engaged when I was 20 and they were 19. We moved in together when I was 21 and they were 20.
Last November (six-ish months ago now, jeez, time flies) they broke up with me. They were sexually assaulted in a club and told me that the experience made them realize that they want to be more upfront with their boundaries and desires. They don't think we're compatible like that and wanted to date someone more similar to themselves while still being my best friend, like we were before.
For a while, I tried to make it work even though I was absolutely miserable being around them knowing that what we had was gone. They had an online friend, we'll call him D (24), who they'd grown close to over the course of the year or so we'd lived together. Well, they already had a visit planned months in advance for D to come out and stay in our apartment for two weeks. They told me that they were romantically interested in D, and wanted to see how things went in person. I didn't want to ask them to cancel such an expensive trip so short notice, so I sucked it up. At the time, I expressed that I wanted D to sleep on our fold-out couch (we have a two-bedroom, and they got their own bed after the breakup) but they told me that who they invite into their bed is none of my business.
Anyway, so, my ex lied to me. Turned out that they'd already been dating D for a couple of weeks before the visit took place. The walls are not thick so I heard them fucking more than once. My ex invited me out to drink with them and I ended up crying because it was really painful to watch them hang off of someone else and loudly make jokes about all the sex they were going to have later.
Fast forward a couple of months, and D gets kicked out of his apartment and needs somewhere to live. This is where shit hits the fan, and what prompted this post.
D has never liked me, although he tries very hard in a shallow way to make me like him. (I think it's an anxiety thing — he wants me to like him because then I feel less threatening, not because he actually cares about getting to know me, you know?) I overheard a phone conversation between Ex and D where he was ranting about how I have no friends because I'm such an unlikeable bitch, I'm never going to change or improve myself, he fucking hates me, I'm a narcissist, Ex needs to move out and cut ties with me because I'm so toxic, blah blah blah. D also has schizophrenia, multiple personalities due to severe childhood trauma, he age-regresses (constantly; his default mental age is ~17), and he's an alcoholic. All of this to say that he is a very paranoid and depressed person.
(Side note: I expressly told my ex that I didn't want him to stay in our apartment. They said that they understood and assured me it would only be for a few days while they found him a place. It's been ~3 weeks now, and he's still here.)
I was woken up one night a week ago by my ex and D having a very loud conversation about suicide. D was having a mental breakdown/panic attack and ex was actively having to keep him away from pills and knifes. I laid in my bedroom and listened to D describe a fantasy in which he takes a gun and blows his brains out in front of me — apparently because I am a huge source of depression and anxiety for him, on account of me not liking him.
I don't believe I've been mean to D. I simply don't care about him. I do my best to not acknowledge him/pretend he doesn't exist. My ex disagrees.
They claim I've been outwardly cruel to him and that my hostility is the reason for his near suicide-attempt. They called me all sorts of names and pinned the blame almost entirely on me.
That night of the panic attack, I also became anxious that D would try to do something to hurt me or my two cats. (He has a history of animal abuse/murder.) I went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife to sleep with because I was too tense to get back to sleep.
Well, D found out about the knife and apparently he is now terrified that I'm going to do something to him (and he could have only known about it if my ex told him, as he does not enter my room EVER), which my ex also blames on me.
My ex made the decision to break our lease and move out around a month ago. Rather than find a new roommate, I decided to get a small one bedroom apartment for myself. My ex seems upset about this. I told them blatantly that I don't want to see each other or even communicate once the move is completed, which I don't think they've grasped. They keep making remarks about trying to stay in contact or me visiting them at their new place.
I am a college student and I have a job. I have missed three of my morning classes this month already because my ex and D both like to stay up late at night and play games in the living room and/or drink together. They both talk very loudly and this can go on until 2 in the morning. It's nearly impossible for me to relax and sleep with their constant activity. I also do the dishes, feed the pets, clean up after them, sweep, take out the trash, throw away the beer cans they both leave everywhere, hell, I've even done their laundry.
The only thing my ex does is cook occasionally, which they seem to think is an effort towards our friendship, when they consistently prioritize D's dietary desires over mine, never help me with my groceries, and when they order food, never get anything for me. If there is enough food for three, then they will offer me some. That's about it.
They make no effort to spend time with me and actively avoid having difficult conversations while at the same time accusing me of moving out because I'm "running away from my problems." They want to be both my best friend and a good husband.
Oh, yeah. Ex and D are married as of last week, ish. No idea why. Not my problem.
But, the way I see it, it is functionally impossible for Ex to prioritize someone as high-maintenance as their new husband AND be my friend at the same time, considering all of the emotional conflicts going on in our fucked up little situation here.
(Side note: all of this is IGNORING the 3k my ex owes my parents, as they helped us both out when my ex lost their job last year. My ex told me that they're frustrated because it feels like my family is "ganging up" on them, and that they were under the impression my parents would just forgive the money and all of us could part ways on good terms. I have literally no idea where they got THAT impression.)
I feel ignored and underappreciated. I am also fairly confident that I'm being gaslit, as Ex constantly blames me for my feelings AND for D's feelings. I am posting this now because I legitimately cannot tell if I'm overreacting or not. Ex makes me doubt my thoughts and the validity of my actions. (RE: the knife incident, they chastised me for scaring D all because I was "paranoid," when I brought up the phone call I overheard, Ex told me that D was just drunk/angry and didn't really mean it, the last time I complained about them both being noisy (during sex) it was brushed off as me being bitter that I'm still single, etc)
I know that Ex is also stressed and dealing with a lot. Am I being too harsh? Am I overthinking this? Should I buckle down and try to make it work? I've been friends with them for ⅓ of my life — they've been with me through my worst and my best. So much of who I am is shaped by them. I don't want to give that up, but I also think that maybe I need to if I'm ever going to improve myself/my mental state.
I am legitimately looking forward to moving out on my own, being responsible only for myself, only cleaning up my own messes, focusing on work and school and potentially maybe even making some new friends. I don't want Ex in my life anymore, I just want to put the last year behind me, and I think they know that — they're just in denial. They want to have their cake and eat it, too.
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've Got Dreams To Remember
Pairing: Incubus Hvitserk/Reader
Rating: Explicit
Word count: 8244 (yeah, I don't know what happened either)
Summary: A certain young man keeps showing up in your very x-rated dreams.
Notes: I fully realise that the contents of this might not be for everyone, so I’ll just say that according to some stories Incubi are capable of shapeshifting. A certain aspect of this has been inspired by @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie's absolutely brilliant fic, Take Me, so if you've read that you'll know what I'm talking about. And if you haven’t read it, what the hell are you doing? READ IT.
There is another moodboard all the way at the end of this to provide a visual for something that I describe in this so have a look at it at the end.
Tagging: @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @vikingstrash @quantumlocked310
He only ever came to you in your dreams.
The dreams were interesting to say the least and he always played a very big part in them. You often wondered what deep and dark recesses of your brain had conjured him up, because you would definitely remember if you had encountered someone like him in real life.
It first started about a month ago. You’d gotten out of a particularly nasty relationship a few months before. You were still trying to navigate your way through this new life that you now had and while your friends were busy with trying to get you back onto the dating scene, you persisted in that regard. You weren’t looking for a new man in your life, but you still had needs. Sure, you had your toys, but they were a somewhat poor substitute when what you really wanted was for someone to grab your ass, lift you up and fuck you up against a wall.
Maybe that was where he had come from. Because that was exactly the scenario that you got the first time that he showed up.
It was a fairly generic one where dreams were concerned. You were in a bar with some people, a wide assortment of people that you knew in real life, when you could feel someone’s eyes on you. You looked up and stared straight into the half shaded face of a young man whose eyes you couldn’t actually make out, but you saw the smile that graced his lips and boy was it hungry. You only glanced away for a second and when you looked back again, he was already gone. You’d resigned yourself to missing your chance, when a hand suddenly grasped your wrist, dragged you outside to a nearby alleyway and gave you exactly what you’d been thinking of during your waking hours.
When you woke up, you had never found yourself feeling so satisfied before. You threw the blankets over your head, rolled over and tried to fall asleep again, but sleep didn’t take you for a second time that morning sadly enough. Later that day, after getting out of the shower and glancing in the mirror before combing your hair, you stared at your reflection in confusion or to be more precise at your bare skin. In your dream, your mystery lover had bitten your shoulder and there, right there on your shoulder, were teeth marks. But that was impossible, right? Maybe the dream had been that intense that it had somehow tricked your body into believing that it had been real? Did things like that even happen?
You didn’t dream of him the next night. Nor the following five nights. Not that you were keeping track or anything. He eventually put in another appearance though. The setting for that dream wasn’t particularly inventive either and you were almost embarrassed that your mind was even coming up with stuff that gave you the impression that they should be storylines in bad porn movies. It was a department store this time and you were looking at underwear. Your fingers continuously ran over the lace trims of various bras and touched the silky panties that came with them.
Again, you felt eyes on you and it was the same young man as from your previous dream. Apparently, dream you was in a frisky mood so you held up various bras in front of your chest, most of which he disapproved of, until you came across a bright red lace number that he seemed to like. When he finally found you in the fitting room shortly after, you were wearing the set that he had wanted to see you in before tearing it off your body and fucking you up against the full length mirror.
That was the first time that you’d gotten a good look at his face. Frankly, you were impressed with what your mind had come up with. He had long dirty blonde hair that he wore in a ponytail and that you longed to see loose. His eyes were green one time and when you looked again they seemed brown. That was one of the parts about him that mystified you. That and the part where you constantly wanted to kiss the tip of his nose and his ears. That was definitely an odd experience to say the least.
He was tall and lithe of build, but with surprising strength in his arms. The way that he would hold you was intense, like he never wanted to let you go. When his shirt came off, you found yourself staring at the intricate tattoo that covered most of his left bicep and part of his chest. It was some kind of Viking design and it looked old, but it was probably meant to look like that. You found yourself tracing it with your finger a number of times, something that seemed to amuse him.
Whenever you woke up, you were annoyed that you had been torn out of this perfect little dream world. The dream world where you were fucked six ways from Sunday. You were so thirsty for this young man that you had created that he was in your nighttime fantasies pretty much every single night now. In your dreams he left you so satisfied that you had no idea why you ever wanted to leave. If only you could stay asleep and feel this bliss forever. What would make them even more amazing was if the fantasies were better. You always swore that you were one dream away from having him come round to your house so he could have a closer look at your plumbing.
“What are you thinking about?”
Rolling over on your side, you looked at the man next to you in the bed. Despite the fact that you had been dreaming about him almost every single night for the past two weeks, you had never actually heard him talk. You’d heard him moan and groan several times, but to hear his lips form actual sentences was a new thing.
“Nothing,�� you replied with a smile.
“I can read your thoughts, you know.”
“You can?”
“Yeah, I never told you?” He grinned at you and ran his fingers up and down your bare arm. “Maybe I could have told you if you’d wanted to talk, but you only want me for my body.”
“What? I don’t… I never…” You were flustered and looking for words after being so brutally called out. “It was never like…”
“It’s okay,” he said with a laugh. “I don’t mind. It’s what I do.” Since he saw the obvious confusion on your face, he continued. “I’ve been feeding off you this entire time.”
“Feeding off me? But I never feed you anything.”
“Your orgasms.” A frown creased your brow and he started laughing again before leaning in and pressing his lips against your forehead. “It’s what I need to sustain myself. I can eat other food as well, but it never quite fills me up the way orgasms do.”
“So the reason that you made me come multiple times is…”
“Because it fills me. Not my belly, mind you, but on a deeper level.” He cupped your chin and brushed the tip of his nose against yours. “I don’t expect you to understand, but I suppose a thank you is in order.” His hand slipped down, gently gripping your neck, applying just the slightest bit of pressure, before moving down to it’s destination and plucking at your nipple almost idly. He was gearing you up for another round and you found that you couldn’t actually remember how many times he had made you come already. “Can I thank you with this body that you can’t get enough of?”
“Wait.”
“So now you want to talk?” He continued his ministrations on your chest as if you hadn’t been talking at all. You caught the playful smirk on his lips before he leaned in and started sucking marks on your neck. “What do you want to know?”
“You say you feed off me, but doesn't that mean that you want to eat me?”
“And why would I want to do that? I like to use my mouth for other things,” he said with a low chuckle. You hissed through your teeth when he sank his teeth into your skin suddenly and then licked the spot where he had bitten you. “Would be a waste to eat you anyway.”
“So the reason that you’re able to…”
He pulled away so he could look you in the eye. He grinned as he pushed his hand against your shoulder and he got on top of you as soon as you were laying on your back. “Are you getting shy on me now? After everything that we’ve done?” He nudged your legs apart and you could feel his erection pressing into your thigh. “But yes, that’s why my erections last so long. The aim of the game is not to come myself, but to make sure that you do.”
“Doesn’t it hurt?”
“I beat myself off when you wake up. It’s not like I can’t climax myself, but I can make sure that I stay hard for as long as I need to.” You could feel his tip pressing against your entrance, ready to slide in at any second. “It’s a dream. Anything can happen in a dream.”
“Anything?”
“Sure. Wanna see?”
You didn’t know what he had planned, but you nodded anyway. His eyes lit up, his irises practically glowing green right now, and he started grinning, eager to show you what else he could do. He snapped his fingers and all of a sudden you were sitting on a red velvet sofa in what appeared to be some kind of high end bar. Your legs were wide open with him on his knees in front of you, his lips already on the inside of your knee and slowly working his way up.
“So you can change locations?”
“Honey, I can change everything.” You felt his teeth on the inside of your thigh, nipping at your skin playfully, mere inches away from the top of your legs. “Is the setting not to your liking?”
“How did you even come up with this place?”
“Experience?” He briefly looked up at you and shrugged. “I’ve been doing this for a long time.”
“How long?”
“Not telling.” He stuck his tongue out at you and then dipped his head down to lick a stripe from your entrance up to your clit. “I can never get enough of how you taste.” He moaned against your core. He spent most of his time with his face between your legs in your dreams. With what he’d revealed earlier, about how he fed on your orgasms, maybe that was the place where he could taste it the best? “Not really.” You moaned loudly when he spoke, because his voice was adding vibrations to what he was doing. You’d entirely forgotten that he had mentioned that he was able to hear your thoughts. “You just taste real good.”
A single finger slid inside of you, your walls instantly clenching around him, trying to pull him in deeper. When he adds another, you start whimpering and you know that you’re going to come soon. If you could, you’d have him in this position all the time. There had never been anyone in your life who had been this good at eating you out and who was so clearly enjoying himself as well. Your last boyfriend had been a disaster on that front, more often than not he would skip foreplay entirely, but he’d still expect you to suck his dick whenever he felt like it. Figures that you’d only be able to find an enthusiastic lover in your dreams.
Guys like that simply didn’t exist in real life.
You reach down to thread your fingers through his hair. The gesture makes him suck at your clit harder and thrust his fingers in deeper than before. He was practically devouring you at this point, lapping up your juices and making sounds that told you that he hadn’t been lying when he told you that he liked how you tasted. It was almost as if he didn’t want to waste a single drop. You keened out a noise as another orgasm positively engulfed you. You’d push him away and close your thighs if you could, but he had wrapped his arms around your thighs and was using all his strength to keep them wide open. Your muscles were tight as a bowstring, your back arched and pushed you up into a position that would start to hurt if you stayed in it for too long. He was relentless though, ignoring your discomfort and continuing his assault until he had managed to pull yet another climax out of your shuddering body.
When he finally released you, you collapsed onto the sofa, your entire body sticky with sweat. You blinked a few times to stop yourself from seeing stars and when you heard him chuckle, you swatted your hand in his general direction without actually hitting him. It took you a couple of minutes, but you eventually managed to sit upright again when your lungs stopped burning. He was still on his knees in front of you with an incredibly smug impression plastered all over his face. You nudged your foot against his shoulder and he fell backwards dramatically. Your face twisted when you felt the velvet against your sweaty body. It had felt pleasant on your bare skin before, but not anymore.
“I can do something about that,” he said cheerily and snapped his fingers again. When he saw the look on your face when you noticed where you were, he couldn’t hide his amusement. “No good?”
“This is terrible,” you replied with a wide grin. “I mean. Honestly.”
The flashing light underneath you made you laugh. He’d pulled this one from your bad sex fantasies again. A piece of paper slid into the tray on the side. He picked it up, looked at it with a frown before turning the piece of paper over so you could see it.
“I think there’s something wrong with this printer.” He shook his head and pressed a few buttons underneath your leg. “It really needs fixing.”
“Think you can fix it?”
“I can try.” He pushed his hands underneath your ass just as the light flashed again and a few seconds later he showed you the black and white printout of your behind with his fingers shoved in between you and the glass that you were sitting on. “That’s beautiful. Think I might have to frame that.”
“You’re such a weirdo.”
“I think that it’s funny.” He pressed his lips on yours hungrily and you could still taste yourself on his tongue. “I got this from your mind, remember? I really think we might have to work on the state of your fantasies though. They really could be a lot more inventive.”
“Maybe I’m just not very original.”
“You’re just not giving yourself enough credit, sweetheart.”
“Maybe.” You nipped at his lower lip and then pressed a kiss on the tip of his nose which was probably a little too gentle considering all the other stuff that you’d gotten up that night, but you hardly cared anymore. “You can probably come up with something a lot better.”
“I can try, but you’re probably going to be disappointed.”
One snap of his fingers and suddenly you were in the dark. You could also tell that you were alone. The other two times, you could always feel him around you, but not this time. You hugged your arms around your torso, feeling cold for no reason at all. All of a sudden a couple of lights switched on, bathing the room in red light, and you realised that you were standing on a stage. When you glanced at the side, you could see a pole right next to you. You instinctively reached out for it, feeling the cool metal against your palm and you held it as you walked in a circle around it. There were full length mirrors all around you and you briefly looked at your reflection.
The outfit that you wore left little to the imagination which was probably the point when you took the location into account. You were wearing a red triangle bikini top and a black pair of shorts that half your ass was hanging out of. The shoes, the infamous stripper heels naturally, had plastic, see-through straps and the platform heels had a iridescent sparkle to it.
When you had done a turn, your eyes scanned the place and you could see him sitting on a chair right next to the stage, looking up at you expectantly. He obviously wanted a show so why not give him one? Holding onto the pole, you slid down until you were on your knees and then you started skimming your hands up and down your chest. He was completely enraptured and kept reaching down to readjust himself in his trousers. Given how he usually remained rockhard throughout these dreams, the skinny jeans that he was wearing right now were probably incredibly uncomfortable.
You crawled over to where he was sitting. When you had reached the edge, you reached out to grab him by his shirt and pulled him up out of his seat. His eyes widened for a second or two before he composed himself again. He couldn’t resist leaning in when your face came closer to his, but you merely ghosted your lips over his before pushing him back into his chair.
“No touching the stripper,” you chided and then wagged a finger at him. “Or I’ll ask security to kick you out.”
“But you’re allowed to touch me?”
“Are you trying to tell me you’d have me kicked out?”
“No way.” He leaned back in his chair, arm hanging over the back and he started sipping at a cocktail that suddenly materialised in his hand. “Keep going.”
The only problem there was that you had no clue what strippers even did. Sure you’d seen a video, but those women were a lot more athletic than you were. You’d also seen Showgirls once, but that movie probably wasn’t the best example about what to do. The only thing that you had learned from that movie was how not to have sex in a pool and that licking a stripper pole wasn’t particularly sexy, just incredibly unhygienic. You swung your legs over the edge of the stage and put your feet on the arm rests of his chair, practically daring him to touch you. Having caught your intent, he didn’t move and then he had the audacity to feign indifference.
Sliding off the stage, you climbed onto his lap instead and started gyrating your hips against his. You reached up to grab a handful of his hair, pulled his head back and dragged your lips down the column of his throat. When he grabbed your ass, you slapped his cheek with your free hand.
“No touching,” you whispered in his ear. “I’m not telling you again.”
“Damn, baby.” He sounded impressed by how well you were taking control of this new situation. “That is such a fucking turn-on.” You pulled on his hair harder and since your mouth was still close to his ear, you took his earlobe between your teeth and gave it a gentle tug. “Holy shit. You’re a fucking natural.”
“Oh yeah?”
You leaned back so you could look him in the eye. His eyes sparkled with obvious excitement and a deeper, more animalistic need. Like he could grab you at any moment, throw you onto the stage and fuck you right there if you pushed him too far. Very tempting. Reaching to the back of your neck, you pulled at the bow that held the strings of the halterneck together and when it was loosened, they fell down your shoulders. You pushed the cups down until they hung loosely around your chest. The only thing that was keeping the top on was the string that tied together around your back.
His eyes flitted down to your chest and then back up to your face again. You wanted him to touch you, but after telling him off a few times, you weren’t sure if he was going to. So you placed your hand on the back of his head and pressed him against your chest instead. You felt him smile against your skin and then his lips started moving, shifting in the direction of your nipple.
A shiver ran down your spine and you looked up suddenly. You had the odd feeling that there was another set of eyes on you, but that was impossible since the two of you were the only people here. Looking up at the bar, you saw a young man who was leaning against the bar and watching the two of you intently. He was smartly dressed in a dark blue suit, his long hair loose and hanging down over his shoulders. Even in this odd red light, you could tell that his skin was too pale, so white that it was almost translucent and when he grinned at you, you could see that his canines were too long, too pointy. Without realising it yourself, you had frozen entirely and the young man underneath you had sensed it, looking up at you in confusion before following your eyes.
“What the fuck, man!” He suddenly shouted at the other guy, anger flashing behind his eyes. “The hell are you doing here? Fuck off!” The man at the bar shrugged and disappeared just as suddenly as he had appeared. “Sorry about that.”
“Who was that?”
“My brother.”
“Your brother?”
“Yeah, he’s a dick,” he said with a deep sigh. “Our mother would keep tabs on us when we were kids to make sure that we didn’t get into any trouble. You have any idea how weird it is when your mother enters the dreams where you’re trying to get off with a girl? Fucking embarrasing.” He raised his eyebrows at you when he noticed that you were trying to suppress a laugh and pinched your side. “I don’t know how the fuck it works, but my mother taught the little shit how to do it as well and so he just… I dunno… shows up sometimes like the little creep that he is.”
“Does that mean that he’ll come back?”
“No. He just likes to remind me that he can do it from time to time.” He wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed his head against your chest. “But fuck that. I don’t want to talk about my asshole brothers.”
“Brothers?”
“Ah shit. No. Not talking about them.” He pulled at the string on your back, pulled the bikini top from your body and threw it on the stage. “So this particular fantasy is ruined now. Let's start again, shall we?”
“Can’t we salvage it?”
“I’ve got something better.” The look on his face told you that this had the potential to be really good. “Do you trust me?”
“How bad is this going to be?” He tilted his head to the side, that wasn’t the answer that he had wanted to hear. “Yes.”
“I don’t do this a lot so bear with me alright?”
Another snap of the fingers and the strip bar starts to fade away. You were sitting on a bed now and you were wearing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that looked old. The new location was just as red (he really did seem to like that colour), but it didn’t look that special to you. In fact, it looked like a fairly cheap love motel, one where lovers would retreat to so they could enjoy each other's company for about an hour before going their separate ways again.
You got up from the bed and walked over to a table by the window to look at what was set out on it. There was a big bowl of strawberries and a bottle of ridiculously expensive champagne right next to it. He’d really pulled out all the stops, even in a dream. You were giggling to yourself when the door to the bathroom opened and someone appeared in the doorway. It took you a short moment before you realised who it was, but when it all clicked into place your mouth fell open.
Because leaning against the doorframe was a woman. Her dirty blonde hair was loose and still slightly wet, hinting at the fact that she’d been taking a shower moments earlier. She was wearing a silk bathrobe that was tied together by the waist with a big bow and you could see her hard nipples quite clearly through the thin material. The smirk was damn near unmistakable however. When she approached you, you instantly got the impression that you were her prey, there was just something very predatory in the way that she moved. She came to a standstill right in front of you and her mischievous eyes flashed bright green briefly.
“Feed me,” she said with a grin. You took one of the strawberries from the bowl and when you presented it to her, she held her mouth wide open, ready to be fed. You felt her tongue swipe over your fingers when you fed it to her and then she let out a single moan when she started chewing. A few seconds later you felt a finger against your chin so she could push your mouth shut. “Surprised?”
“Very.” You looked her up and down. The bathrobe barely covered the tops of her thighs and she reached down to play with the hemline, to make sure that your eyes stayed focused on her legs. “I didn’t know you could turn into a woman.”
“It’s a dream,” she stated simply. “Anything’s possible.” She leaned in to you and you closed your eyes, anticipating a kiss, but then her lips brushed against the shell of your ear as she talked. “I don’t do this a lot though. So consider yourself special.”
“All this to make up for your brother interfering?”
“Guess you could say that.” She took your hands and started pulling you along to the bed. When you reached it you thought that she was finally going to kiss you, but then she spun you round and made you sit on the bed instead. She pulled on the bow that held the bathrobe together and brushed it open, revealing herself to you slowly, like one might unveil a priceless painting. “Like what you see?”
Your throat had gone dry and you found that you had lost the ability to form words. He was beautiful when he was a man, but now that he was a woman, his toned torso had given way to soft curves and skin that looked so smooth that you wanted to do nothing else but reach out and touch it. She took a step closer and stood in between your open legs, a sweet smile on her lips as she looked down at you.
“You’re not talking.” There was a slight teasing tone to her voice as she spoke. “That bad?”
“No.” She took your hand and moved it up until it was covering her bare breast. You gave a quick experimental squeeze. “Just surprised. Takes some getting used to.” Your other hand moved up of its own accord so you could cup her other breast as well. “I mean, I’ve never been with another woman before.”
“You can. If you want to.”
While you had only ever been with men, the thought of being with a woman wasn’t something that you weren’t entirely opposed to. Especially not with someone as beautiful and seductive as this. She shrugged out of the robe and dropped it to the floor. The tattoo that was usually on his left arm had changed into something more delicate and feminine, pink cherry blossoms with green leaves and branches in between them that curled up her arm and covered part of her clavicle. You moved your hand up and started tracing them with your fingers, gently caressing her skin, her green eyes following your every move.
When you heard a soft giggle, you looked back at her face and before you could say anything, she’d pushed you back onto the mattress. She was on top of you a split second later and then you finally felt her soft lips on yours. You could still taste the sweet strawberry on her lips and on her tongue when she slipped it into your mouth. Your hands ran down her back, following her spine and then settling on her ass. Whenever you squeezed, she ground her hips down against yours and you were suddenly overcome with the urge to see her on her back with her hair fanned out over the red sheets.
Grabbing her hips, you flipped her over and since she’d just read your thoughts, she reached up and made sure her hair was spread out just the way that you had just imagined it. She started pushing your shirt up and you almost ripped it off in your eagerness to get naked for her, even if she’d seen you like that many times before. She pushed herself up into a sitting position and shoved her hand into your sweatpants roughly. Her fingers started rubbing at your sex, finding you very wet and very willing.
Pulling her hand out, you leaned back and pushed your pants down, kicking your legs to get them off entirely without moving too far away from her. When you were completely naked, her hand settled back at the top of your legs, her movements more hurried and urgent now. With your hands on her breasts, you started licking and nipping at her neck, moaning against her skin when one of her fingers started circling your clit.
“I want to make you come,” you groaned into her ear. “Never made you… fuck… come before.”
“But you give me so many other things,” she purred back. “You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” You skimmed one hand down her stomach and slipped your hand between her legs. “Jesus Christ. You’re so wet.” You were rewarded with a moan when you tried touching her the way you liked to be touched. It was almost as if you were moving on autopilot, like you instinctively knew what to do. “Please.”
She didn’t reply so instead you pulled your hand away from her, making her let out a displeased whine, and you pulled your face away from her neck so she could watch you suck your fingers into your mouth. You twirled your tongue around your fingers, making sure that she could see exactly what you were doing and then moved your hand down again. You pressed them up against her entrance first, teasing her with the slightest bit of pressure and then slipped them inside. She started tilting her hips up against your hand and the way that her face contorted in pleasure really was something that would be etched into your mind forever.
“Can I?” You repeated the question since you still hadn’t gotten an answer. “I really want to.” Pressing your lips down on hers again in a searing kiss, you murmured against her lips. “Please say yes.” You pressed your fingers in as deep as they could go, all the way down to the third knuckle. Since he had seemed to like it quite a bit when you did it earlier, you tangled your fingers in her long hair and gave a forceful tug. She gasped into your mouth and you knew that you had her. “I’ll just keep doing this until you say yes.”
“Fuck.” She shifted underneath you and you reluctantly pulled your lips away from hers. “I love it when you do that.”
“I know.” A triumphant grin formed on your lips and she was so obviously into it that it was hard to drop this act. Dipping your head down, you bit her neck suddenly and she squealed with obvious delight. You decided to thrust your fingers into her harder and she was so wet now that you could hear your digits moving in and out of her. “I want to make you come so bad.”
“You’re pretty good at this,” she moaned breathlessly. “Want to take this a little bit further?”
“How?”
“I’ll give you what you want, but not like this.” She wrapped a hand around your wrist and gently pulled your hand away. She then brought your hand up to her lips and started licking her own juices off your fingers with such fervour that she could have been mistaken for a starving animal. Seeing that was so arousing that you couldn’t stop a moan from escaping from your lips. “I want you to do something else.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Check the drawers.”
You scrambled off of her, probably a little bit too fast, in your eagerness to see what was in there. You were expecting a vibrator, a buttplug even, but you must have pulled a particularly funny face when you saw what was in the drawer instead because she started laughing as soon as she saw your expression. You hooked your fingers in one of the straps and lifted it up, probably looking very much afraid to even touch it. Your eyes were wide as it hung from your fingers and you turned back to fully face her.
“You want me to wear...” You gestured at it with your free hand. “...this?”
“Well, yes, sweetheart.” She got on all fours and crawled over to your side of the bed. “That’s exactly what I want you to do.”
“Right.”
“You’re not sure.”
“It’s just… this is very much virgin territory for me.”
“You were doing fine just now.”
“That’s kinda different though, isn’t it?” You looked down at the strap-on that was still dangling from your fingers and she started poking at it playfully. It looked so silly that you couldn’t help but laugh. Truth be told, you were kind of curious about this kind of thing. “Are you sure about this?”
“Positive.” She pushed herself up on her knees and hooked her arms around your neck, pressing her entire body flush against you. “So. What do you say?”
“This is definitely one of the weirdest dreams I’ve ever had.”
“Yes or no.” She started kissing you, nice and slow, and then sucked your bottom lip into her mouth. Your hands snaked down her back and when she nipped at your lip, you gave her ass a hard slap. “Baby!” She started giggling, her fingernails digging into your shoulder blades when you grabbed her ass and squeezed her roughly. “I love it when you manhandle me.”
“That’s new for me as well.”
“I really am pushing your boundaries, ain’t I?” She pulled away suddenly and got on all fours again, turning her ass in your direction. She wiggled her hips and peered over her shoulder until you slapped her again. “Keep doing that and I’ll climax before you’ve shoved that thing inside of me.”
“Yeah right.” But you slapped her on the other cheek just for good measure. She pushed back until her ass was pressed against your hips and then she started moving backwards and forwards like you were already thrusting into her. “I need some help… with this thing…”
She faced you again in a flash, obviously excited by your willingness to do this. The harness was on you fairly quickly all things considered and then she lowered herself, gave you a quick wink and started sucking the large dildo into her mouth. So that’s what it looked like from that angle. You stroked her hair in very much the same manner like your previous partners had always done with you whenever you went down on them. Come to think of it, you suddenly realised that you had never actually had his cock in your mouth. That probably wasn’t all that weird considering this no climaxing thing that he appeared to have going on, but whenever you’d even attempted to kiss your way down his chest, he always stopped you.
You felt her tap her fingers against your hip and then she released the dildo with a pop. “You’re overthinking this. This isn’t about me. Never was.” Sitting up on her knees again, she stroked the side of your face almost lovingly and you eased into her touch for a few seconds. “Like I said earlier, the aim is to make you come.” She flashed you a big, predatory smile and then continued, “Speaking of. You do this right and afterwards I’ll push myself into you balls deep and fuck you until your fucking alarm goes off. How’s that for a tradeoff?”
“The way that you usually are?”
“Depends on what you want.” Her hand settled on your chest and she twisted one of your nipples between her fingers. “If you want me to wear that strap-on afterwards, I can do that. No problem.”
“You’ll probably be able to tell exactly what I want when I’m done with you.”
“You bet your ass, baby.” She winked at you and then a bottle of lube magically appeared in her hand. “I know that this is a dream, but I still need to use this.”
“Do you have any idea how weird it is when you do that?” She looked at you with her perfect eyebrows raised as she squeezed some liquid into her hand, applied it liberally to the silicone shaft and then the tube disappeared again when she was done. “Magicking things up out of thin air.”
“That’s what you think is weird about all this?” She rubbed her hands between her legs, applying some more lube on her pussy and started pushing her hips up against her hands. “I can change everything about this dream, even my gender, but when I make stuff appear in my hand that’s taking it one step too far?”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do.” She turned her back on you and pressed her ass against the sex toy. “Now get it over with and fuck me already.”
“That really wasn’t necessary.” You grabbed a handful of her hair, pulled hard and twisted her head back. She laughed breathlessly and pushed her hips back again. “I’m just going to have to fuck this attitude out of you.”
“Fuck yes! Teach me a lesson.” She was practically purring the words at you. When you pushed her forward roughly, she loudly voiced her delight. You pressed one hand firmly between her shoulder blades, making sure that her face stayed down. Grabbing her hips, you made her raise her ass in the air and then positioned yourself in front of her entrance. “I’ve been such a bad girl.” With one thrust of your hips, you slipped inside of her and she let out a long stretched out moan as you watched the dildo disappear inside of her. “You’re so fucking big.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle at that sudden admission. For some reason she was playing the part that loads of women seemed to play in porn movies and when you started pumping in and out of her, she wouldn’t stop moaning about how good it felt and how well you were fucking her. This really was something else and whenever you glanced down at how her ass rippled whenever your hips connected with her, you couldn’t help but be completely fascinated with how it looked, practically unable to tear your eyes away from her.
Her noises started increasing and you kept slapping her already reddening ass in between thrusts. Pulling out almost entirely, you pushed back in so hard that her moans were starting to sound muffled. Never once pausing what you were doing on her, you slid one hand down over her hip so you could touch her clit. You ran the other one up her spine, tightened your fingers in her hair and yanked her up, pulling her against your chest.
“I wanna hear you,” you groaned in her ear and she started whimpering instantly. “You gonna come for me now?”
“Almost,” she mewled back. “I’m so close.” You speeded up the motions against her clit and she let out a loud cry, reaching back with one hand to wrap it around the back of your head. You were barely able to move your hips at this odd angle, but she didn’t seem to care from the way that she was bucking up against your hand and panting. When she started whimpering and rubbing her back against your chest, you could feel the muscles in her thighs constricting against your hand. “Fuck.”
A grunt of pleasure was torn from her throat and she arched her back, all her muscles going rigid all at once when her orgasm tore through her. You kept her pulled against you, absolutely delighted that you appeared to have done this right despite being slightly weirded out about it at first. When you released her, she dropped down onto the bed, completely out of breath. You lay down on your side next to her and studied her face closely. Her eyes were squeezed shut and you ran your fingers up and down her jaw as she caught her breath.
“Gimme a sec…”
You saw her swallow hard, her throat no doubt having gone dry. You got up off the bed and giggled when you looked down. Seeing that huge silicone dildo swaying about with every step that you took really looked hilarious. When you reached the table, you were ready to struggle with attempting to open the champagne before noticing that she’d already taken care of that. There were two glasses filled with the sparkly liquid standing right next to it.
When you turned back around, you saw that she was gone and that he was now laying on the bed in her place. You briefly frowned, sad that you hadn’t gotten a chance to say goodbye before realising that they were one and the same person. You heard him laughing from the bed when you walked back with the glass in your hands.
“What’s so funny?”
“You are.” You sat down next to him and waited until he’d pushed himself up into a sitting position before handing him the glass. He emptied the glass in one big sip. “Wanting to say goodbye.”
“I just forgot. Until earlier I thought that you were nothing but a figment of my imagination.”
“Oh no.” He threw the glass across the room and it bounced off the wall before rolling onto the floor. He looked down at your lap and flicked his fingers against the strap-on. “I’m very real.”
“Can you help me get this thing off?”
“Or you could keep it on.” He flashed you a quick and very dirty smile. “I’d let you peg me.”
You almost choked when you tried to imagine what that would look like and blurted out a quick, “One thing at a time please.”
“Spoilsport.” He tapped a finger on the harness and then it was gone. “You’d be pretty good at it, you know. Pull my hair a couple of times and I’m yours to do with as you please.” Before you could reply to that, he put an arm around your waist and pulled you back onto the bed. Moving you onto your back, he knocked all the air out of your lungs when he suddenly got on top of you and pinned your hands up above your head. “But I promised to do something else anyway. So I win anyway.”
He kept true to his word and fucked you with such ferocity afterwards that when you finally woke up the following morning, it was a damn miracle that you were even able to walk at all. And all that just because of a dream. In the many more dreams that followed afterwards, the woman made an appearance on more than one occasion. On some nights you would just get her and other times he would turn into her while he had his mouth on your pussy. You were never entirely sure about how the entire thing even worked. He wasn’t merely something that your horny mind had come up with one night. No, he was indeed very real.
A couple of months into this very odd arrangement, where he would satisfy your every desire while you were asleep, you were at the beach with your friends. They were convinced that you were seeing someone even if you always said that you weren’t. Maybe this little weekend getaway was a ploy to get more information out of you, but how could you possibly tell them that you’d met someone in your dreams? You’d sound like a bloody lunatic.
When the four of you were looking for a spot to spread out your beach towels, you passed two guys. One was sitting underneath a parasol, dressed in a black t-shirt and black shorts, making sure that no part of him even got out of the shade that was provided by the large umbrella over his head. He was scowling at another young man with long blonde wavy hair who was sitting next to him, strumming a blue ukulele.
Your small group settled down a couple of feet away from them and stripped down to the bathing suits that you wore underneath your clothes. You were wearing a red triangle bikini, somehow now also favouring the colour since your dreams were constantly bathed in it. Your friends headed down towards the water while you sat down on your towel and started reading the romance novel that you’d brought with you.
After a couple of minutes, you realised that you had completely stopped paying attention to what you were reading but were instead focusing entirely on the young man a couple of feet behind you who had started singing. You instantly recognised the song that he was singing. It was the song that the sirens sang to Odysseus in the Odyssey. You were so hypnotised by the song, that you’d completely forgotten about your surroundings. It wasn’t until something slammed into your upper arm that the spell was broken. Your head whipped to the side and you saw a frisbee laying next to you in the sand.
“My bad!” A voice called out to you and you picked the piece of plastic up to hold it out to whoever was approaching you. “I am so sorry! I should have caught that.”
“No problem. Not like I’m…” As soon as you looked up the words died in your throat and you instead stared at the young man who was now standing next to you with wide eyes. “Wait…”
“Well, this is a surprise.” He dropped down onto his knees next to you in the sand, a huge smile plastered all over his face, and he took the frisbee from your hands. “Definitely wasn’t expecting this.” For some reason, you reached out and poked a finger against his chest. You half expected that your mind was playing some kind of trick on you, as if your finger was going to pass right through him, but it didn’t. “See? Real.”
“Serk!” Another voice called out and he tore his eyes away from yours to look at whoever it was that had called his name. “Stop hitting on girls and toss the frisbee back!”
“I’m done playing!” He threw the frisbee back which the other guy effortlessly caught. “Tell Sigurd to play with you before he drowns someone with his singing.”
“Fine! But you owe me.” He winked at you and turned around to join the other two guys that you had passed when you had just arrived. Your eyes were drawn to his back or to be more specific to the long braid that swung back and forth as he walked away.
“Stop checking out my brother.” You blinked and turned your attention back on him. “You want me to introduce you? I mean, if you’d rather want to spend time with him than me…”
“What? No!” He chuckled when your words came out louder than you intended. “Not funny.” He ran a hand down your arm, mirroring the same thing that he’d often do in your dreams. “He called you Serk. Is that your name?”
“Short for Hvitserk.” He held out his hand to you. “And what’s your name?”
“Y/N,” you replied when you took his hand in yours. He repeated your name with a warm smile. “I erm… this is weird…”
“Is it?” He let your hand go and got to his feet. You panicked slightly, thinking that he might leave, when he suddenly extended his hand to you. “Come on. I wanna buy you a drink.”
“And then what?”
“I dunno,” he said with a shrug when he pulled you up off the ground. “Sit with me. Talk. I know you, but that’s the dream you and now I want to know the real you. That okay?”
“Sure.” He started pulling you along to the beach bars a short distance away. “I’d like that.”
*****
And this moodboard is based on when I described female Hvitserk coming out of the bathroom.
#vikings#vikings au#hvitserk lothbrok#hvitserk ragnarsson#incubus hvitserk#hvitserk x you#smutty smut smut#mar writes#mar moodboards
190 notes
·
View notes
Text
Language Learning Through Immersion: One Year Japanese Update
11/03/2021
I did it, you guys! I’ve successfully reached my very first year of Japanese language immersion! I honestly thought that I would have given up by now, but this really has been a fun and ultimately rewarding endeavor.
Studying the language has been at the back of my mind for years since elementary school, I just never really knew how to go about it before, and I always thought that I could learn it in a classroom setting someday. That someday for me was in two elective courses in university, and while those were fun as well, it did not give me the same gains that I have achieved in this past year.
It’s probably easier to quantify learning a language in a classroom setting, especially when going through a program to earn a language degree. Learning through immersion, however, I had to really consider what my goals should be on my own. Eventually, I stumbled upon an article saying that for an English speaker, Japanese was exceptionally difficult to learn and that at least 2,200 hours must be spent with the language to reach a certain level of proficiency. So I said to myself, “well okay internet, if you say so!”, and set that as my long term goal going forward.
Spoiler Alert: I did not hit that goal in my first year. I am not crazy and will never listen to Japanese in my sleep regardless of what Khatzumoto (the creator of All Japanese All the Time) says.
I did, however, hit a total 1,226.65 active immersion hours in my first year, so I guess I’m still a bit nuts. That is 874.96 hours of active listening and 351.69 reading hours. I also did 270.59 hours of passive listening, also known as the time in the very beginning of my immersion where I was using Japanese subtitles (therefore not really concentrating on listening alone). That’s a cumulative 1,497.24 hours spent with Japanese. That’s more than halfway towards my goal!
To further break that down for curious animanga fans out there, that’s 973 episodes from 109 anime, 765 episodes from 33 dramas, 7 movies, and 967 chapters from 107 volumes of manga (21 series). Here’s my anilist and mydramalist to see what I’ve read/watched.
During all this, I was also doing my daily Anki reps and now I have a 530 day SRS streak (includes the time prior starting immersion and only doing RTK and some vocabulary cards) and a total 8,857 sentence cards. I’ve been averaging 406 cards daily (because I’m trying to cure my leeches) and I spend about an hour per day doing reps and learning new cards. I don’t really track my time on Anki, but I do have a set timer that goes off after 1-1:30 hours.
What I haven’t touched upon at all is output. I have not gone out of my way to find a tutor or a language partner. There’s still plenty of input out there to immerse in before I even consider outputting.
Graphs, stats, and more thoughts:
Here's my current card count in my main deck (minus the cards in my new/learning queue and leeches I've been relearning which are in separate decks):
That one day in 2019 where I did not do my cards because I was seriously doubting whether I can actually stick with language learning this time around will forever haunt and inspire me to keep going everyday.
Workflow and Tips
You might be wondering, how do I have a lot of time? I started this whole endeavor in the middle of a pandemic, which eliminated the option of me going to a language school, and a slew of other things I were considering doing last year became impossible (and if anything, very scary to do in a pandemic). All I can say is that, things work out eventually if it is His will, and if I can learn a skill before everything properly settles back down again, then why not?
I wake up at 5 in the morning everyday to either do my Anki reps or read until the time when I need to get up and I listen to compressed audio throughout the day. The biggest tip is to switch the time you spend watching/reading in your native language to your target language instead. Listen to a podcast during your commute, watch an episode during lunch break, read before going to bed, do your Anki reps in the bathroom if you have to.
But, if you’re feeling burnt out, there is no reason for you to not take a break! I have been watching a lot of Among Us streams before bed, and I chat with my friends from time to time. Language learning is not a race.
More Stats
Here are a couple of grids of the kanji characters that I have encountered at least once in my immersion and how well I have answered them in my vocabulary/sentence cards.
It's interesting that after almost 9000 words, I have yet to encounter every single character from the Remembering the Kanji 1 (RTK 1) book by James Heisig, which teaches you the most common use characters that are part of the 常用漢字. Which brings me to the question, was writing down every single character being taught in RTK worth it every time it came up in my reviews for the first 3-ish months I was reviewing them? Maybe, maybe not. It certainly removed my anxiety whenever looking at blocks of text in Japanese, but the longer I think about it, the more I feel I should have switched to Recognition RTK earlier. Still, being able to write in proper stroke order is cool I guess, and it also helps me when looking things up in the dictionary.
Here’s the same grid but in JLPT order:
I clearly need to grind those N2 and N1 level cards! Speaking of which, I have apparently almost covered every single character that could possibly appear in the JLPT (except for the N1 which I have only covered half of) in just a year's time. If the JLPT word frequency lists I’m using are accurate, I have about 2,000 words more to go to to cover most vocabulary that could appear in the test. This makes the "10,000 sentences/words to fluency" argument a reasonable milestone to aim for for Japanese learners if said aim is only to pass the test. That said, 10,000 words is just that, a milestone. It's more akin to a comfortable level of comprehension, but not my own concept of fluency which is being able to read with ease, speak articulately, and write comfortably.
READING IMMERSION GRAPHS
My biggest motivation for tracking my stats is for the purpose of seeing whether my reading speed is improving over time. Reading speed is also easier to measure than listening comprehension which is kind of subjective, so I had a lot of fun making these. What I found is that for the first volume or chapter of whatever it is I’m reading, I always take the time to get used to the writing style of the author. My speed really improves whenever I keep reading the same topic over and over again. On the other hand and quite obviously, looking up many new words in a row and trying to parse sentences slows me down.
Manga: Reading Speed Progression per Volume
I clearly love ちはやふる and I am not ashamed to admit it.
I need to start reading longer manga. When I do, I’ll probably split this graph into less than and greater than 20 volumes. Imagine if I start reading something ridiculously long as 名探偵コナン or ワンピース, these graphs will start breaching the bounds of time and space.
Novels: Time Spent Reading per Chapter
#neverforget the time I read chapter six of Norwegian Wood for 9 hours when it took me less than half that time in English RIP. Also, my interest in Kitchen plummeted LOL. Still planning to finish it don’t worry.
I also need to start branching away from manga and start reading more novels and light novels, too just so I can make more pretty graphs.
Visual Novels: Time Spent Reading and Daily Word Count
Also known as images that clearly show that I’ve already spent several days only reading the prologue of Island. I’m not sweating. 切那 needs to stop using words I don’t know in succession. More thoughts on this VN far into the future.
Thoughts on Immersion
I can’t really say anything else other that that it works for me, and needless to say if you’re considering this method, remember that the SRS is your friend but immersion should be your one true love.
Prior to all this, I couldn’t even read a sample paragraph from Genki without being confused to my very soul. Yes, I know, it’s embarrassing, but that’s the truth. I was way more scared of failing my Japanese classes than my actual thesis for my bachelors degree, I kid you not. I would quite literally spend all my free time in university trying to understand grammar, memorize vocabulary, and answer my workbook exercises with little to no success.
I tried so hard to get all the grammar “formulas” into my head for 1.5 years and it only brought me more confusion. I’m never going back to traditional classroom study for language learning, but I will still refer to grammar books when I need to, and not because I feel like I need to answer 4783342 different workbook exercises like my life depended on it.
I still can’t believe it, but with immersion this statement is actually true to a point, don’t try shadowing anime/or calling your boss anime language slurs, use your common sense:
study anime to understand Japanese > study Japanese to understand anime
Future Goals/Plans
2,200 immersion hours was my initial goal, but honestly I feel like that number could be much higher. There’s still a lot of stuff I don’t understand (news, politics, sciences, etc.), so I’ll make attempts to cover more of those things in my immersion.
I’ll continue reading more, because that’s a natural SRS in itself. Try to read longer manga, more novels, visual novels, and light novels, and maybe news articles.
I’ll try to mine as much “JLPT vocab” as I can before making any attempts at taking the JLPT. I noticed that a lot of the words I know don’t appear in the JLPT word lists as much, even though they appear a lot in media/daily conversation.
Continue mining all words I don’t know because all words are useful anyway. There is no such thing as useless words. I never really understood mining only “interesting words” or words that “pop up” in your immersion. As I said in my previous blog post, 美人局 is an interesting word and I certainly caught it being said in my immersion, but in the three languages I know, I wouldn’t know when I would be able to use such a word, as compared to something like ジャガイモ which is a significantly less interesting word, but is certainly useful to know.
_
I have managed to talk up a storm, but if you have any questions regarding my process or recommendations for new immersion material, please feel free to send an ask/reply to this post. I love hearing about other people’s language learning/immersion journeys.
See you on my next post!
#language learning#japanese language#language acquisition#study blog#langblr#studyblr#graphs#language immersion#japanese#visual novels#manga#novels#anime#dramas#movies#youtube#podcasts
127 notes
·
View notes
Conversation
Part 11
Misaki: (Runs hands through his hair) Sorry Takahiro, I was going to call you, but i've been a little preoccupied with my fiance here..
Takahiro: I had to hear it from this guy (Taps Isaka's chest) Luckily he didn't sound worried so...
Takahiro, Isaka: Wait did you just say Fiance?
Misaki: Oh yeah, we got engaged saturday.
Isaka: (Walks over to Usagi, salps usagi on the shoulder who groans in pain) Congrats man, you finally asked him!
Usagi: (Raspy voice) Uh, actually Misaki asked me, and please don't hit me I just has surgery.
Takahiro: Are you okay Usagi-san?
Usagi: I'm fine
Takahiro: (Walks over to Misaki and Usagi) So, you guys are getting married?
Misaki: Yes, Yeah we are.
Takahiro: We'll congrats.
Misaki: Yeah, you don't seem so happy about it.
Takahiro: I haven't even gotten used to the idea of you guys dating and now you're engaged?
Misaki: Yeah, we'll my plan was to propose after we told you and before I graduated, so I don't really care if you've gotten used to it, we've been dating for years without you knowing and now that you know we can fully be happy, and if i'm sorry if you can't get on board.
Takahiro: I can, I just need time to processes all this.
Misaki: We'll right now, we need to focus on Usagi, so this conversation isn't happening right now.
Takahiro: (Nods walks over to the sofa and sits down beside Aikawa).
Isaka: Well I'm happy for you. (Smiles awkwardly, and goes to sit on the sofa).
(Nurse Rose walks in and smiles at Aikawa causing her to blush, she sits on the arm of the sofa causing her to blush more, her heart was beating out of her chest, hopefully no one could hear it.)
Nurse rose: Looks like we have a full house.
Misaki: Yeah, my brother Takahiro is beside Aikawa, and beside him is the senior manager at the publishing company where Usagi's work is published, his name is Isaka.
Takahiro, Isaka: Hello.
Nurse Rose: So how is everyone doing? Usagi the cafe is about to close so if you want anything to eat you should place and order now, otherwise I can get you some liquid broth and tea from up here.
Usagi: I'll just take whatever's up here.
Nurse Rose: Sure, the four of you should probably go grab some food.
Misaki: I want to stay here
Usagi: No, you need to eat.
Misaki: (Sighs)
Usagi: I'll be fine for an hour, I promise.
Isaka: (Stands up, walks over to Misaki, Placing a comforting hand on his shoulder), Come on Misaki, he'll be okay.
Misaki: (Stands up) Okay (Softly places hand on Usagi's cheek and and leans down to kiss him, he softly whispers "I love you" against his lips, before giving him another kiss.
Nurse Rose: Okay, so I can take you guys up to the cafe, (confused look) It's on the fivthteen floor for some reason, never understood that, shall we go everyone?
Misaki, Isaka, Takahiro, and Aikawa: (All follow Nurse rose out of the room, and onto the elevator).
Nurse Rose: Alright fun ride! I'm on my break before going into my night shift, do you guys mind if I eat with you?
Misaki: (gently nudges Aikawa)
Aikawa: (Slants eyebrows and mouths "what")
Misaki: (Nods at her)
Aikawa: Um, Nurse Rose?
Nurse Rose: (Smiles) I'm on break, you can just call me Rose.
Aikawa: (Blushes). Um you can join us for dinner.
Nurse Rose: Oh, that's cool! Thanks. I want to get to know you more.
Aikawa: (Clears throat) Uh, a- all- all of us.
(Elevator dings, they all get off following nurse rose to the cafe, They all get a large plate of shrimp tempura to share, and chicken broth, options were limited, since it was late and the cafe would be closing soon. Isaka, and Takahiro followed Nurse Rose to a table in the far corner of the restaurant, while Misaki and Aikawa trailed behind.
Aikawa: When she said she wants to get to know you, she meant all of us right?
Misaki: (Laughs) No, she wants to get to know YOU.
Aikawa: What does that mean?
Misaki: It means she likes you.
Aikawa: So you're engaged and suddenly you're the relationships expert? Isn't Usagi your first relationship?
Misaki: (Scuffs) And how many relationships have you been in?
(They approach the table, Nurse rose grins at Aikawa)
Misaki: See she's smiling at you.
Aikawa: No, she's Being friendly
Nurse Rose: Aikawa, I saved you a seat. (Pats the seat)
Misaki: See, (Walks over and sits beside Isaka.
Isaka: CHIBI!! (Throws arms around Misaki)
Misaki: What!?
Isaka: What's happening, how are you handling this?
Misaki: (Takes a bite of the shrimp). As well as I can be
Isaka: Good, so tell me , what's going on with those two?
(Across the table)
Rose: So how long have you known Akihiko?
Aikawa: Oh many years, he's a pain in the ass, but he's a good guys, he's like my brother.
Rose: So you've never had any sort of feelings for him?
Aikawa: (Snorts) Oh god no! He's never been into girls and the one person he's "loved" before Misaki didn't feel that way about him. Misaki's the love of his life.
Rose: (Touches Aikawa's hand) And what about you?
Aikawa: (Blushes) What about me?
Rose: (Chuckles) You ever been in love.
Aikawa: I'm in love with my Job.
Rose: Ah, one of those people.
Aikawa: One of what people?
Rose: Your life is your job and you never dedicate anytime to yourself, or anything else.
Aikawa: That-
Rose: Not true?
Aikwawa: (blushes) I need to make some time for myself?
Rose: How about tomorrow?
Aikawa: Tomorrow?
Rose: I get off at 5, we can get dinner?
Aikawa: I-
Isaka, Misaki: SAY YES!
Rose: (laughs)
Aikawa: Um, Yes!
Rose: Okay, cool. Um can I get your number?
Aikawa: Oh, um sure. (takes phone out of pocket, the two exchange numbers), Um you can call me Eri.
Isaka: Whoa! You never let anyone call you by your first name.
Aikawa: Isaka, hush.
Rose: (Laughs, we should probably head back, Im sure Akihiko is hungry, and it's almost seven so visiting hours are almost over, everyone has to head home. Except you Misaki, legally you can stay.
Isaka: What, why does he get to stay.
Rose: (Raises eyebrows),Misaki's his fiance.Don't worry the rest of you can come back at six am. Anyway we should get going, you have thirty minutes to say goodnight to your friend, and Misaki I can bring some sheets and a warm cover up so you can fix up the sofa, it pulls out into a bed.
Misaki: Thank you Nurse Rose.
(Misaki sat with his arms crossed and a foot up in the chair,he watched as Nurse rose fixed the sofa for him,she was smiling and humming, apparently she was happy about her date with Aikaw,it was around seven-thirty and everyone had already left, Usagi flipped through the tv channels and sipped on a third cup of tea, his seaced IV bag had been replaced when they came back upstairs and he had his second round of antibiotics, his vitals were still looking good, and he would have labs drawn around three in the morning, his bandages had been replaced and his surgery area looked good, other than the labs, and nurse rose checking on them throughout the night they should be good).
Misaki: You didn't have to make up the sofa, I could've done it by myself.
Nurse Rose: That's okay. It's my job.
Usagi: Misaki, relax let someone do something for you for once, plus don't you have an exam to study for? maybe do that for an hour huh?
Misaki: Fine. (Walks over to table near the window, grabs laptop, walks back over to Usagi and starts to work on study guide.
Usagi: Is this for German?
Misaki: Uh, Yeah.
Usagi: How do you feel about that?
Misaki: Good.
Usagi: Your grades are still passing?
Misaki: Ugh, yes Usagi, god you're in the hospital and you're still nagging me?
Usagi: (Reaches hand out) I just want you to graduate, you've worked so hard.
Misaki: (Smiles, takes his hand) I know, thank you.
Nurse rose: (Sits on the armchair of the sofa, she smiles at them). Do you Guys always banter like this?
Misaki: (Chuckles) Yeah kinda our thing.
Nurse Rose: So how long have you guys been together?
Usagi: (Moves bed up): Um, almost five years.
Nurse rose: How did you meet.
Misaki: He used to be my tutor, and was in love with my brother.
Nurse Rose: Really?
Usagi: Yeah, Kinda a long story.
Nurse Rose: And that doesn't make it weird.
Misaki: Um, there were times early in our relationship when I was worried he was still in love with him but-
Usagi: His brother means a lot to me, but Misaki's the love of my life, I love him so fucking much, I'll never love anyone as much as Misaki, he's my everything.
Nurse Rose: Wow, That's so sweet.
Misaki: (Sobbing) Usagi, stop saying stuff like that, I need to study.
Usagi: (Smirks) You already know that's how i feel about you, I say it to you all the time.
Misaki: Yeah, but i'm studyyinngggg.
Usagi: (Laughs). Get back to studying.
Misaki: You know i feel the same way about you right baby?
Usagi: Ahh, did you just call me baby? Do it again.
Misaki: Mmmhm, can't studying, watch tv or somthing.
Nurse Rose: Well (stands).If You need anything, you know how to get ahold of me.
Usagi: Yes, thank you.
Nurse Rose: (Exits).
(Misaki slams laptop and places it on the table in front of Usagi before pushing it out of the way, surprising him).
Usagi: Misaki, what are you doing? because we can't have sex if that's what you're trying to do. I mean I really want to, but we can't.
Misaki: No, I know that, but I have news.
Usagi: What news makes you act like THAT.
Misaki: Nurse Rose and Aikawa have a date tomorrow!
Usagi: Awe good for them.
Misaki: Why aren't you more Excited!
Usagi: I'll be more excited once you pass the test!
Misaki: (Grabs laptop) You're no fun.
Usagi: I-
Misaki: You just want me to graduate BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Usagi: Misaki
Misaki: I'm studying, I'm studying.
Misaki: Done, are you happy? (he looked beside him, it was ten, Usagi was out cold, he placed his laptop on the table, turned the lights off, and changed the channel to some dumb sitcom that would give him a good laugh and walked back over to Usagi, he softly ran his fingers through his soft grey hair, and leaned down softy giving him a kiss on the lips). Goodnight my love (He walked over the the sofa and sighed as he crawled under the covers, it felt weird not cuddling next to Usagi, they've been doing it a lot more recently and he knew he would have a hard time sleeping not wrapped in Usagi's arms, he drifted off into an uneasy sleep.
#usagi#usagi x misaki#usami akihiko#misaki x usagi#akihiko usami#misaki#misaki takahashi#takahashi misaki#takahiro takahashi#isaka ryuichiro#isak#erin aikawa#aikawa#my OTP#otp feels#otp#gay otp#fanfiction#ship
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Spider-Keith (Voltron AU Reader Insert) Part 1
"Would you stop staring?" Keith asked sounding annoyed at my lack of a response and staring in shock after showing me that he had mother-trucking Ceiling crawling abilities! Probably not as cool sounding as it looks (plus I'm sure he can climb other things too!)
"What else am I supposed to do? You are sticking to the ceiling! That's not normal" He frowned as he climbed back down to stand in front of me glaring down at me.
"Because of you and I want you to fix it" I blinked from confusion...
"What do you mean because of me? What did I do?" I don't recall doing anything that would make my best friend gain the ability to climb shit you wouldn't normally be able to climb.
"Do you not remember the spider you bought over to my place?".... My brows frowned.
"You mean Kevin?" I've brought over a LOT of spiders to his house just so I could show off the little cuties I was able to get my hands on but Kevin was my most recent so I figured that's who he meant.
"Who else!" He raised his voice, "Somehow he got out and into my bed and bit me, and next thing I know I'm like this" As he gestured his arms to his body I looked over to my left wall that was covered in random fandom poster of various shows I watch before shifting them back to his angry form.
"Uhh, I don't think that's possible... in comics sure but I don't think a spider's bite can give someone the ability to climb things in reality" That's just not how things work if it were I would have cat powers from all the times my cat scratched or nip me but I don't.
"Then how do you explain this?" He waited to hear what I would say but I don't know what I could? It had to have been something else like maybe he ate something maybe the government is testing something and they used it on...him... for... okay maybe not that one.
That one was nice sounding before I thought it out more and now it just sounds stupid but not as stupid as a spider granting power bite.
"I don't know" I shrugged," but I doubt it's from a spider bite..." Right?
"Where did you get Kevin?"
"From my house, I found him crawling around on the wall and I caught him" I also noticed that he had strange color patterns and didn't look like any spider I've seen before so I tried looking him up but found nothing.
So I kinda thought that maybe I might have discovered a new species went over to Keith's house to show it off and then I lost him somehow...
"Your house? Are you sure?" I nodded before rolling my eyes.
"Yes I'm sure" How would I forget that? His frown deepen as he started pacing so I decided to re-ask my first question when he first showed up.
"So where are your glasses?" He raised his brow , sighing.
"(Y/n) seriously not important"
"Yeah it is, you're blind as fuck without them and you don't like contacts so how did you ride your bike here and not die?" He shrugged still not as hung up about as me.
"I don't care, maybe it's another side effect from the bite but that's not what's important, what's important is how do I go back to normal?" Why is he asking me? How in the hell would I know? I'm not some science chick that knows how to take away spider crawling better eye-sight sciences.
"Okay hold on a sec" I went reaching under my bed where my comic/manga storage cases were and fished out a few to see what I could use.
Just how was this going to help? fudge if I know but if he wants to believe a spider bite did this then we need comic and manga knowledge to help us out here since it's basically the same logic behind it all right?
"What are you doing?" Keith not looking amused at all at my sudden comic reading but I literally can't think of any other way to help without consulting an adult which he is 100% against for some reason cause he doesn't want them to 'freak out'.
"I'm trying to find a clue any clue that could help me help you but honestly all these are telling me is that your uncle needs to die and you need to suit up....problem is your uncle is already six feet under so I got nothing" Bad joke I know it's a real bad joke to be making right now especially since my friend is probably not in the mood but I didn't know what else to say.....
"...... you aren't taking this seriously" Keith did his signature scowl he always does when I'm not taking something serious enough or something along the lines.
"I'm sorry... I just" I sighed as I sat the comic down (thanks a lot comic for offering nothing useful!), "I just don't know how to help you and I'm still finding it reaaaaaally hard to believe that Kevin's bite could do something like this but I know you wouldn't lie about this so either I'm wrong and Kevin is some kind of special power granting spider species or it really was something else"
"But what? What could have done this?" I tried to think about anything that could have possibly do this but all I keep going back to is the government theory.
"....I'm sorry" I snapped my head up confused as to why Keith was apologizing all of a sudden? What does he have to be sorry for?
"I came here acting kind of like a douche and dropped all of this on you and..... I don't know expected you to have answers for some reason when honestly I just wanted to talk to someone about this... and now it's stressing you out" He sighed as he slumped against my wall sliding down it till he was sitting on my floor (which apparently not sure if he noticed but there was a sock under him...one of mines I tossed off when it got too hot when I was sleeping).
"Keith it's fine, besides isn't that kind of our thing? You put up with my lame attempts at humor or more like my lame attempts with anything really and I put up with your titude" Case and point another lame attempt at trying anything from yours truly.
I'm honestly glad he's my friend, my best friend to be exact (and kind of my only friend) so if he needs my help with this then I want to do it so goddamn much I just need to think how can I be of help?
"Well what should we do to fix this? If we can't tell the adults just how do you want to go about this then?" Keith still sitting on my floor sighed as he shrugged.
"I don't know... we literally have nothing to go on except for me thinking that the cause is the bite since I was fine before I got bite and now I'm not and you don't know where the spider came from, you only know that you found it crawling around your house.... that's not a lot.. that's hardly anything" I could tell that he was getting upset over our lack of knowledge on this situation and I get that.
I would be too and I kinda am already. "Okay we gotta Sherlock Holmes this and just go with what we do know and what we know is.....the spider was in my house...maybe that's something? Wait no we know that the spider is at your house at least it was when it bite you so let's go look for it there" With nothing better planned Keith agreed so we hopped on our bikes and rode our butts over to his place.
His parents were at work so we had nothing to worry about there as we got to searching.... but there was a tiny problem his house was kinda trashed in a sense since I was last here to be more specific his room was, it was like a hurricane came through which is just weird...
"Well how did you think I found out about this" He gestured his left hand to his right referring to how sticky (that's what I'm calling) it gets so he can climb things.
"I didn't think you trashed your room upon discovering it" Aw he even broke the stupid picture frame I made him when we were like five (going on six for him)....
"Can we start looking" I nodded still slightly broken hearted about the frame as we got to searching high and low for the little bugger and as luck would have it we actually found it sadly though it was dead.
"Is that a good or bad thing?... I mean it's kinda sad for me cause I like spiders so seeing his dead little body is not the best but it was possibly the reason you are like this and anything that messes with my friends are scum but at the same time I'm not sure if we needed it alive?" And I'm rambling Keith please be a friend and shut me up...pls?
"I....don't know probably good..might make easier to study" I hummed as I nodded my head before asking the question that was running through my head when he said 'study'.
"Uh-huh sooooo then you know how exactly we need to study it and what to look out for?" Keith shook his head as he placed it's dead body carefully into my spider cage that I originally had it in.
"No, I thought you might since you were, you know the spider expert" I now shook my head as I did a kind of a huff ish type thing while crossing my arms.
"I'm an expert compared to you but I'm not like some spider wizard, I only know what I looked up which is just some trivia here and there along with whatever peaked my interest about them" I like spiders I do but not enough to be like well a spider expert on them (yeah that was the best I could think of).
"Great"
"We could take it to someone who probably does know what to do?" Keith shook his head at my suggestion in disagreement.
"That would mean I'd have to tell them in order for them to know what to look for anyway" Damn it!
"Okay well then let's hold onto until we figure it out cause I have no other ideas" Maybe paying attention in science class would have came in handy....
"Sounds good" With the Kevin's body in our possession we then tried to figure what to do next? I tried to think of what I could do or what Keith could do to help with his situation.
"Oh Keith wait a sec" He stopped what he was doing as I went back to his room to grab his glasses and handed it to him, he looked at them confusingly.
"I don't need them anymore, my eyesight is fine now"
"I just think maybe it would be weird if all of a sudden you don't need these when just yesterday you were blinder than Stevie Wonders"
"With my new eyesight these will make me blinder than Stevie wonders so no" He pushed them back but I still kept insisting upon it.
It's going to raise questions and yes he could lie about having contacts but what if they want proof or something? It might be a bit troublesome to go through idk maybe no one will care?
"Will find some way around it like maybe get you some fake but realistic looking ones? I don't know" He sighed in defeat placing them on his face like I wanted but he looked really uncomfortable which just made me feel weird about it so I took them off.
"Yeah nevermind, it will be a dead giveaway with the faces you keep making might as well not wear them and go with the contacts story or something"
"There's no way my Mom's going to believe that though" Uh shoot...... she is a tough one to fool.
"Okay then let's get some clear lens" We went to a store I was checking out and tried to find ones that would pass for his old ones I found some that looked like his but a different color....
"We could paint them?" I nodded my head.
"That works" I was the one to buy them because and you probably won't believe this but one of our classmates was working here part time why is that a problem? He might be suspicious as to why Keith was buying fake glasses so I did it instead should be no questions why I was doing it.... right?
"Hey I know you!" The tall male exclaimed cheerfully as he recognized me and I just awkwardly nodded my head not really sure if I should say anything but I did anyway.
"Yep" Was yep the right thing to say or did I make this weird? Nah it's fine....
Awkward silence great, greaaaaaat, but what would be super great is if he would just ring me up already but it looks like the machine is having problems which is... just... super.
"Hey Hunk are you on break yet?" GREAT ANOTHER CLASSMATE! I happily cheered in my head for this gracious reunion outside of class with not one but two classmates! And one of them is the self-proclaim rival of what exactly I don't know.... I mean one time Keith tried out for the swim team back in like middle school almost got on the team but decided it wasn't for him so Lance got put on instead.
So you would think their rivalry would stop there but nope for some reason that neither I nor Keith understand Lance just keeps pushing for something that's not there to begin with.
I mean is it really a rivalry if the other person has zero interest?
"What's Keith's girlfriend doing here?" G-girlfriend!? He thinks Keith and I are ewwww god no!
"Whoa hold it! I'm not Keith's girlfriend!" Lance taken back a little before replying back.
"Uh okay...it's just that you guys are always together and you were even there to cheer him on in tryouts back in middle school so I just kinda assumed"
"You and Hunk hang out all the time and you two aren't dating....unless you are..?" They quickly jumped in replying back that they weren't.
"What no we're not!" I raised my hands as I backed off though I really wasn't up on it in the fast place I just didn't want to assume like a certain someone (we all know who I'm talking about).
"Okay...." I turned back to Hunk, "is the register working now?"
"Huh? Who right yeah I got it working" I paid for the glasses and left as fast as I could as not to get dragged into a conversation.
Keith and I went back to his place and got to fixing up those glasses and voila a perfect look-alike, damn I'm good and now no one will know the wiser.
"Are we good now?"
"Wha, Keith yes you act like this was a pain?"
"It kinda was though" I personally feel attacked right now and unappreciated.
"Well you didn't have to go through the trouble of human contact and fixing these things up like your old ones so you don't know true pain" I was in that store longer than I would have liked.
....."Are your wrist okay?" I asked after seeing him rub them for like the sixth time today and it's kinda worrying cause he has this pained look but he fights it so I won't notice unfortunately for him I did.
"Yeah their fine, don't worry" Don't worry? Why do people say that? Like do they honestly think that the person they say it to will be like "oh sure if you say so, I mean you don't look fine but you said don't worry so it be cool" like what the heck! No!
If that person cares about you a stupid don't worry isn't going to make them magically stop worrying ESPECIALLY IF YOU SHOW NOTHING BUT THINGS FOR THEM TO WORRY ABOUT! Case and point; you constantly rubbing your wrist like your in pain and that's where it's originating from.
I bite my lip as I could feel myself just fuming and working up all the stuff I want to say but I just don't know how but as my crap ass luck would have it my MOM CALLED! And you are required by child law to answer any and all calls from your Mother less you face her wrath when you get home.
I sighed as I bought the phone to my ear and answered the stupid call. "Yes Mom?" Dang it she wants me home looks like I have to lecture Keith later.
"I gotta go..." He nodded seeming totally fine that I was going home and I'm not sure if this should have but it kind of bothered me (stupid right?), why should it bother me? I mean like this isn't the first time I went home cause ya know I live there obviously I would have to go back eventually.
But I...actually I really don't know what I wanted him to do so how can I expect him to do it? Doesn't matter, I grabbed my bag and Kevin's home and left.
While Keith did whatever, when I got home Mom had dinner ready and told me to go wash up, like the good dau wait no like the great daughter that I am I went to do just as I was told before eating the dinner my Mother so lovingly slaved over a hot stove to make.
But right after I was finished I went searching up everything I could about spiders some more and tried even harder to find Kevin but to no such luck....
I was getting pretty desperate so I went on a very trustworthy nerd blog I followed because why the heck not nerds are smart and I was hoping to perhaps absorb some of that nerdy-smarty intelliagence (And I totally didn't follow it because the dude's profile pic is like the cutest looking spider I've EVER SEEN!) and after that weird ass sentence I just made I'm sure you can see that I really need it.
(ThatWeirdGirlInTheBackground122): Hey sorry to bother you but um how well would you say you know spiders? Like on a scale of 1-10? 10 obviously being the highest and the most anyone can know about Spiders?
(TheManWithABlogAboutSpiders): Uh....a 9...maybe? I feel like there's always something to learn so I am going with a 9...
(ThatWeirdGirlInTheBackground122):.....yeah that's good
(ThatWeirdGirlInTheBackground122): So listen I have a question and it would be greaaaaat if you can answer it oh and thanks for actually replying back on your pm really awesome of you to do so *Thumbs up emoji*
(TheManWithABlogAboutSpiders): No problem, so what's your question?
____________________
Don't Forget to Heart, Comment and Follow if you haven't already. I would love to hear your thoughts on all of my stories.
99% sure Keith was so out of character
And I regret not showing more Lance and Hunk and having better moments with them but I WILL TRY TO FIX THAT IN PART 2!
Shameless self-promotion:
Like/Love or simply enjoy my one-shots? Then check out these beauties:
Super Psycho Love (request closed for now )
GenderBender One Shots
Girls Like Girls (Yuri OneShots)
Wicked Or Misunderstood? (Descendants Short Stories Series)
Fandom Rangers (One Shots Reader Insert)
Pinocchio's 2.0 (Reader Insert )
Sora x Yandere Reader
Sora x Yandere Reader Prequel
Sephiroth x Reader Insert One Shot(s)
Prompto One-Shot
Road Trip (FFKH)
The Bond Between Siblings (FFKH One Shots)
1 note
·
View note
Text
Boyhood Blues - 06
Fanfiction: Boyhood Blues Story Summary: Actions, and inactions, have their repercussions. It may not be immediate but somewhere down the line, the effect will be seen. Chapter Characters: Law, Luffy, Ace (Penguin, Shachi, Bepo) Pairing: LawLu Rating: T Warnings: Swearing, Universe Alteration, , angst, A/N: So ...xD Well, you see I had chapters 1 through 7 already written. tldr; I originally intended on starting this story like with Luffy at the beginning of his journey but I really didn’t like that. So the stuff I had intended on having as much later in the story ended up being the beginning. (I wrote it various PoV’s and stuff) Now, when I wrote Law’s portion, I had a section of ‘Insert details here’. But, you see, that was before I decided to start the story at the battle of the great.
So essentially this entire chapter is filler xD. (Not REALLY but) I was going to attempt to end it where I originally intended for chapter 6 to end but a) it’s already six pages as is and the already-written end is 3 pages long, and b) I still have a lot to cover from the end of this chapter to the start of the other end, and c) I need to do more reading of the manga.
OH AND IMPORTANT NOTE: I REALISED I FUCKED UP. Originally I was thinking: what if I just continued with my fuck-up, but then decided I like the appeal of staying with canon with that point so: WHERE LUFFY HAS STATED GARP SCOLDING HIM IN ALABASTA, I FUCKED UP AND I’VE FIXED IT TO WATER 7. (I legit just changed ‘Alabasta’ to ‘Water 7′ in my edits in chapter 1 and chapter 5)
.xxx. > Time/scene skip
.+++. > PoV change
Read on Ao3
Chapter 5 || Chapter 6: Unsociable|| Chapter 7
With Luffy was in his room (with his crew guarding the door so the idiot wouldn’t attempt reopening his wounds yet again) Law had decided to check up on Ace.
Upon opening the door, Law had immediately noticed that the medicinal scent was even more potent in Ace’s room as opposed to Luffy’s. (Not that it had bothered him or anything. In fact, it was something he had just happened to notice every now and then, himself being more or less accustomed to it over his lifetime.) He looked at the man still connected to various machines.
Ace, huh?
His memories of the other were similar. While Ace wasn’t as loud or obnoxious or obvious as Luffy, Law saw similarities between them. Instead of crying and screaming it out, Ace had been the type to hold it in, He brooded on it, and tried to be strong for his little brother – but Law could see those eyes. Eyes that were so very similar to his.
Occasionally, would he see tears slip out – whenever Luffy wasn’t looking or he was asleep from wearing himself out – those moments were moments of silence. When neither of them would acknowledge it. And Law understood that all too well too.
And while Law understood – he never did or said anything about it. He mostly tried to ignore it – ignore them and concentrate on his studies. They both had their own problems anyway…
“You’re always reading books Torao.”
Law glanced up to see wide eyes looking at him from over the book. He sighed, lifting the book up higher to block his view. He never really talked to Garp’s grandkids, so why now?
“Luffy, leave him alone. He obviously doesn’t want to talk.”
“But we’re supposed to play with him Ace! How can we play with him if he has his nose stuffed into a book?”
…Did that brat huff?
Law brought down his book, glowering at the kid in front of him. “I’m studying. I don’t have any time to waste playing with you brats.” He brought the book back up, continuing to glare at the pages. It was true, he didn’t have much time. By now, he had discovered ways to prevent the ailment from overcoming him, but just. (Halt the process, halt the symptoms, turn them back just ever so slightly…) And each time he used his abilities they exhausted him. He couldn’t keep using them every few days. He needed to find a cure. He didn’t want to live like this. (It hurt, oh it still hurt…) Cora-san wouldn’t want him to live like this.
(He recalled hearing Luffy scream something along those lines too...)
(What did he mean by that? By Sabo not wanting them to live like this? Like what? Weren’t they being taken care of by their grandfather? Didn’t they live in some dangerous place? Wasn’t that what Sengoku said? So weren’t they safer here? So why wouldn’t Sabo want them to live safely?)
(Ah, funny, wasn’t it? How all three of them had lost somebody dear to them, and wanted live according to their will…)
…But would Cora-san want him to shut everybody else out?
He looked up to see Luffy whining to Ace, and he sighed again. “Okay, fine. One game. That’s it.” So he stood up, wincing as his leg screamed at him, and put down the book entailing hereditary conditions. One game wouldn’t hurt, and he couldn’t study with that brat pestering him anyway.
“Yay! See Ace! I told you he wants to play!”
Law could only sigh. He’d let Luffy believe whatever he wanted to, as long as it meant that Luffy would leave him alone afterwards.
Law sighed at the memory. That was where he began to see the truer side of Luffy, although did not fully realise it at the time. His gaze went back to Luffy’s room. Yes that was perhaps, really, the only memory he had of that boy smiling and laughing. It couldn’t have just been grief, right?
(He still couldn’t get that line out of his head: What Luffy said in regards to Sabo. Why? Why did he say that?)
Certainly Law knew, very intimately, what grief could do to a person. How it could warp them. How it could take hold of them and essentially rule their life. (Even now. Even now…) And, yes, it was a major factor in Luffy’s overall melancholy moods when they were children…
He shook his head. He shouldn’t be concerning himself with this. It had been ten years – of course any normal human would be able to overcome their grief. Luffy must have gotten over it over time. They did say that time heals all wounds after all…
.xxx.
There was banging at his door. And noise.
Lots of it.
(There was a cacophony of voices outside of his door. Most of which he immediately recognised. Bepo. Shachi. Penguin. And there… the one voice that stood out the loudest It was familiar, but in a more irritating way. And that name. Yes, he knew that too…)
“Torao!”
…Once again, he must say:
Fucking Mugiwara no Luffy.
He groaned and sat up in bed, hand covering his eyes. Why must he harbour such a rambunctious patient?
“Luffy-ya. Don’t make me strap you to your bed to ensure your recovery.”
…The last thing he needed right now was to prepare for another surgery. Especially when he was going to be woken in the middle of his ever-so-precious hours of sleep.
“Torao! You’re up!”
Apparently, Luffy had finally succeeded in opening his door, and he could see his subordinates exhausted states as they failed to prevent this… whatever one could use to describe Luffy at this moment… from barging into his room.
“…No thanks to an annoyingly loud patient of mine.” He glared at Luffy.
And Luffy. Well, he looked bashful. And honest. As if he didn’t realise that it was he who had woken Law up.
“Oh, you were asleep. Sorry!”
“That’s what we were trying to tell you!” His crew chorused from the door loudly.
Law sighed and turned towards the intruder of his room. “Luffy-ya, you need to take it easy.” He said and gestured towards the bandages covering the entirety of Luffy’s body. “You have taken a great deal of damage, and the last thing any us need is for you to reopen your wounds. Or do you want Ace-ya to wake up, only to realise that the idiot he has for a brother died because he disobeyed his doctor’s advice? The brother he almost died to protect?”
The reaction was immediate: Luffy’s face fell.
…Ah fuck. He was probably too harsh there, wasn’t he? He rubbed at the bridge of his nose.
“…Sorry I’m never in the best of moods right when I wake up. Just… be careful, okay? If your wounds re-open there is a high chance that I can’t fix you up again.”
“…It’s okay Torao. No. I understand. Chopper always scolded me after he fixed me up.” Luffy’s voice was quiet and he… sulked out of his room.
…Awkward silence, that’s what this was.
“…Shachi, bring me some coffee. It’s not like I’m going to get back to sleep after that.”
As his crew left and closed his door, Law could only sigh before bringing his hand over his face and through his hair, his head leaning back against the wall.
He was a doctor, not a psychiatrist dammit!
.xxx.
When Law had decided he was alive enough to properly interact with people he had found Luffy sitting quietly on the island.
“I’m sorry for waking you up Torao.”
…Was the idiot still sulking?
“What’s done is done.” Law said before taking a seat near Luffy. Not close enough to really indicate friendship, but also not far enough to state they were strangers either. “I was too harsh this morning as well. I just do not like seeing my efforts go to waste.”
He refrained from adding anything further, this was a sensitive subject after all.
Luffy made a sound of disagreement as he shook his head. “No, it’s alright. I've… we've….” He was quiet for a few moments. “I've been thinking about what Jinbei said… and he's right. The way we are now… we're not strong enough for the New World…”
...Ah, was that the reason for yesterday’s outbreak?
“I failed. I failed to protect my friends… failed to protect Ace when he needed it most… I'm not strong enough Torao.”
Law sighed again. Why was Luffy telling him this?
“Then get stronger. That's all that you can do. You're enemies aren't going to be getting any weaker.”
He wasn't this kid’s friend so why?
“Yeah. That's what I plan to do. And what you said today reminded me of that. I can't get stronger if I'm always fooling around.” And, now, that sullen expression faded, only to be replaced with a smiling, laughing face. “Thank you Torao.”
...He was never going to understand this idiot, was he?
“Whatever. If you want to take my half asleep, grumpy ramblings as advice, so be it. It's your life. The only thing I'm against if is you throw it away while you're still under my care.”
“Shishishi I knew you cared Torao!”
...Was Luffy stretching towards him?
“No I don't – and don't stretch you idiot! That's how you fucking re-open your wounds! I just… like I said I don't like wasting my energy and if you die because of your refusal to obey doctor’s, I'll do whatever I can to stop you from dying if only to kill you myself.”
That only made Luffy laugh more.
Law just groaned.
“So, you got tattoos on your chest too Torao? I noticed them this morning but I didn't get to ask…”
Law looked up at Luffy who had this fascinated look on his face.
“...It's just ink.” He said with a shrug. What was it with Luffy and his tattoos?
“But they look so cool! Your one hand is missing a few letters though, and your chest kinda looks weird. Like not finished maybe?”
Thankfully Luffy hadn't proceeded to get close to him again or grab his hands… yet anyway.
“Yeah. I'm still debating on the final designs for my chest and back. And my hands are a work in process. I need my hands for surgery, so, I can only do so much at one time.”
Why was he even telling him any of this?
“So you just started then? Or are some tattoos older?”
Law sighed. Seriously he definitely did not understand Luffy’s fascination, but he supposed indulging Luffy’s whims were the only way to shut him up if that memory was any proof.
“The ones on my forearms were the first ones.” He explained, pulling up his sleeves to show Luffy. “I got them when I was seventeen or so. The one on my chest I had gotten not long after I formed my pirate crew officially a few years later. I've been working on designs since. My hands however are the most recent addition. They are almost complete.”
Luffy looked so enthralled right now that it was kind of creepy.
“And, what about those other marks?”
“Enough about me, you wanted to talk about after Loguetown, right?”
(It was far more easy on his mental state to listen to Luffy blab on about his past than to inquire about his own. That was another reason why he blocked out most of his memories with the Marines after all… It was a living hell.)
#monkey d. luffy#trafalgar law#lawlu#portgas d. ace#one piece#fanfic:boyhoodblues#petiteneko:story#onepiece#tlaw#luffy#sabo#ace
6 notes
·
View notes