#anyway i just put sparkling water in my orange juice and guess what. it's flat.

[softgrungeprophet]

honestly i fail to see how it's somehow cheaper to spend $3 on a single large bottle of sparkling water which goes completely flat within a few days and ends up being thrown out half full compared to spending $6 on a six pack of mini bottles once a month that actually get used completely and not wasted :)

[rachello344]

ALL.

Fair enough XD  This is what I deserve hahaha

Vanilla Chai Latte : Are you in love?You know, I’m not sure I know myself well enough to answer this one.  XD;;;  I’ve always been shit at identifying my own feelings.  I’ll probably have it figured out within the next, oh, decade or so?  XDD;;;  It’s...  It’s really anyone’s guess.  “What is love” ahaha;;;;;;;

Flat White : Coffee or Tea?Neither XD;;  Hot chocolate all the way

Cappuccino : What’s your middle name?Nicole.  ^^

Mocha : Dream Job?I’d like to be an editor for YA!  (Maybe an author as well?)

Pumpkin Spice : Dream car?I don’t have many strong feelings about cars tbh, but someday I’d like to get a New Car.  That would be cool.

Jasmine Tea : If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?I’d like to go a lot of places tbh!!  I’d go just about anywhere as long as it was with the right person.  ^^

Old English : You’re stranded on an island, who do you bring with you?My head says “Bear Grylls” but my heart says “You”  XD  Anyone else, I’d worry about in-fighting after long enough in a high stress situation, but I think we’d do okay. 

Iced Chocolate : Do you have a crush on someone?Excellent question.

Caramel Frappe : Favorite video game?Breath of the Wild for sure, but I’ll play any Zelda game without much prompting tbh  Also Luigi’s Mansion is the SHIT

Iced Lemon Tea : Favorite song/band?My Chemical Romance, and my favorite song changes day by day.  Right now I’m feeling Panic! at the Disco’s “Roaring Twenties”

Iced Cafe Mocha : Favorite thing to do on rainy days?Watch the rain, eat something warm, stay in PJs, spend time with people I love.  Also run around in it, with or without an umbrella.  I have rain boots, so I love to splash around in puddles XD

Hot Chocolate : Are you an affectionate person?I’m trying to be.  I tend to be a little...  idk, I’m not always a huge fan of being touched, so physical affection is hard, but I think that’s probably not good for me, so I’m working on it little by little.  I do feel a lot of affection and often, I’m just not always good at showing it.  XD;;;;

Caramel Macchiato : You’re travelling the entire world but you can only take one person with you. Who do you take?You, again.  I hope that’s not weird XD  I can’t imagine spending that much time with very many people tbh

Green Tea : How tall are you?Around 5′8

Early Grey Tea : The inevitable Zombie Apocalypse is upon us! What’s your plan of action?Gather non-perishables, fill bath tub(s) with water, arrange for a portable stove, sequester me and mine on an upper floor with all our supplies and weapons, and destroy the stairs.  Create a rope ladder so we can move about freely without making way for the zombie hoard.  If we had money, I’d say find an island and stay there, but this is my “we had no time” plan.  ...  I thought about this a lot in high school.

Mint Tea : How do you relax?Playing video games, rewatching movies and shows I enjoy, spending time with the people I love.  Also, sometimes, holing up in my room with some music and a good fic, avoiding my family.  XD

Vanilla Latte : Board games or drinking games?Board games!!  I will play any board game at any time, you only need to teach me the rules.  ;D  I especially enjoy Clue, Pictionary, and more current versions of Trivial Pursuit.

Iced Coffee : Do you like reading? If so, what’s your favorite book?I love reading!  My current favorite book is probably The Foxhole Court, but I’m a huge fan of Libba Bray (YA) and Dorothy Sayers (golden age mystery) as well.

Italian Soda : Describe your dream dateHmm  Disneyland or an Aquarium or a Planetarium.  I also like all kinds of museums though.  And ice skating is always super fun...  I like Activities, basically XD  Something you don’t get to do everyday!  I’m also good with staying in and watching something fun, making something yummy... or going out to dinner...  Honestly, I’d be happy with just about anything XD  I just have to know it’s actually a Date!!

Sparkling Water : Describe what qualities you look for in a personKindness!  Above all, I want the people I’m with to be kind.  I like when we have similar opinions on most things.  I want to be able to have long conversations and lose track of time.  ^^

Orange Juice : Have you ever had a valentine?Nope!  No one’s ever asked me before, and I’ve never asked anyone else.  I usually make Valentines for all my friends though.

Rose Hip Tea : Describe your first kissI’ve uh still never had one XD;;;

Herbal Tea : You’re at a candle shop, what scented candle do you buy?Baked goods and/or vanilla or cinnamon.  Without hesitation.  If it’s Christmas, though, I’ll get pine.  ^^

GOD THERE WERE SO MANY I’M SORRY I’M PUTTING YOU THROUGH THAT TOO  XDDD  Thanks for returning the favor?  I guess?  XDDD  It was fun anyway XD  Been awhile since I answered so many hahaha

[pinkguacamole]

It’s Impossible to Write About Afrikaburn

But nothing is impossible…

I spent 11 days on the Tankwa Karoo of South Africa, a shale and sandy desert surrounded by flat-topped rocky mountains in the distance. I lived off of museli, peanut butter, apples, and water from a giant jug that tasted of plastic. I slept in a tiny tent, just large enough for my bag and me, and maybe visitors if they liked to be close and cuddly. I sang and I danced and I ran around free as could be. I took it fast and I took it slow and I breathed and I tried new things and I lived in color. I created. I got chapped lips, chaffed thighs, a fever from dehydration (yes, all my fault!), sore feet, broken sandals, and a perspective flipped upside down, then sideways, and maybe it will never be “right-side-up” again. 

I wanted to travel the world and explore events. Burning Man has always appealed to me. An event where a society is built and then burnt away, no trace left behind. A place of radical expression and radical self-reliance. In the desert. Why would anyone want to do that?

Even though I am from California, I was never able to attend Burning Man because my university classes began in August and I had to at least pretend I was a good student! So here I was, years later, leaving Madagascar, traveling through Southern Africa, and there was a regional Burning Man event: Afrikaburn. I had to give it a whirl. 

When I bought my ticket I decided to join a themed camp. I felt that it would be the best way to feel involved in the community. I would be a part of something. I would volunteer my time and be surrounded by artists and maybe some people who knew what they were doing. I joined the Flow Arts Commune. I did not know what Flow Arts was at the time, but I enjoyed each word individually: 

Flow- I was looking for flow. I wanted to relax and go with the flow. I wanted to be in flow. 

Arts- I wanted to immerse myself in art and creativity. I wanted to see colors flying in every direction. I wanted to be inspired. 

Commune- I wanted community. I wanted to be a part of something. 

I asked to join and the amazing organizer, Ryan, took me in and guided me along the way, telling me what I should prepare and do for the event. He was a life saver. I went up a few days early with Ryan and some of his friends so we could set up. This group: J, Ryan, and Monica, all South Africans, became my home at Afrikaburn. We were early to the event so we had a lot of time to bond and watch the city rise as more and more burners arrived each day in another  fiery Sunrise and Sunset. 

It turns out that Flow Arts are fire arts, poi arts (LED lights on the end of a string), and hula hooping arts. All crucial to an event like Afrikaburn. Flow Arts light up the night. 

I was a sham. I was not a Flow Artist. I never even made time to learn how to do any of it in my 11 days. But I got to meet fire dancers and bond with them and learn about their lives and I became somewhat of a groupie. On the vast Playa at night, sparkling party lights and dance floors and colors could be seen for miles. And you can always spot the fire dancers. I followed the fire dancers. They would hop from stage to stage, all night, until the break of dawn, preforming their art. It lit up my life. It made a cold desert night seem warmer. I was in a kaleidoscope of fire. 

All night the world was sparkling and we danced. (Like robots, because most of the music was Trance music). 

Despite the magnificent glow of fire and el-wired humans bobbing around with their own vivid radiance, bringing a dark desert to life each night in an Alice in Wonderland-scape of caterpillar smoke rings, dancing lights, and Cheshire Cat smiles, daytime was actually my favorite time of Afrikaburn. 

Every day was a new adventure. As someone put it, a “choose your own adventure” book. 

To set the scene, there were dusty art pieces, some a few stories high: a shell, a baobab tree, a branched platform, shark fins, a temple, boxes, cameras, and hearts- all made of wood and brought to life. Most pieces were so large you could walk up or in them and see the world below, from the eyes of the creation. And they were all burned in the end. 

There were “mutant” cars passing around. Funky, creative, clever. Whatever an imagination could bring to the table, it was there. I helped paint a light-up zebra car one day. It would “moo” whenever it passed its friends. There was a Spirit Train: a moving dance floor that would select a new home during the days and nights and showcase a plethora of D.J.s- most were pretty good. 

There were colorful bicycles. Kicking up dust as they sped along with their flowers and streamers bopping in the wind. 

There were themed camps of galactic colors. Some serving pancakes and others serving wine. Some with coloring books and some with instruments to play. There were swimming pools and orange juice and body artists.

All of this was lit up at night as well.  

And the people. The people were their full selves. It seemed that everyone was wearing whatever they would wear if they could wear anything. And sometimes that was nothing at all. There were fairy skirts and top hats and steampunk gowns. There were tutus and dinosaur suits and capes. It was self-expression to the max. And apparently self expression to many men is the uniform of colorful leggings, a cowboy hat, a bandanna (to keep dust from the face), high boots, and they would be either vested or bear-chested. I guess this is the “look of the year.” I met a guy at the beginning of the week who dressed like this, and I was always able to spot him, until the weekend rolled around and it was a sea of skinny men all dressed the same. Sigh, the one that got away.

Each day my outfits slowly melted into nothing. I started off my 11 days in the desert, dressed in my usual clothes. I am traveling, so I didn’t have any of my funky costumes anyways. As the days passed, I got more colorful. I wore a tutu and a bikini. And then I took off my shirt and let a man paint a butterfly on my chest. I spent the rest of that day and night walking around as the butterfly slowly began to fly away and there was nothing there keeping me from the rest of the world. It was liberating. 

The next day I just wore a piece of simple fabric. I went to one of the themed camps filled with nudists and it did not take long for the fabric to fall off and for my friends and me to start drawing designs on each other using body paint markers. 

One of the principles of a Burn is “gifting.” All participants should try to give something, in some way to contribute to the community. I collected a lot of sweet trinkets and yummy food from people I met along the way because of this. My gifts were the gifts of volunteering and singing. These are both things I use to identify myself. I am literally a professional volunteer (2 years as a Peace Corps Volunteer gave me all I need). I volunteered in “Off Center Camp,” so I could learn more about the ins and outs of the event. I stuffed bags, painted furniture, greeted new arrivals by making them roll in the dirt. Then I hugged them and welcomed them home. I also tried out Rangering: walking around for a shift, making sure everyone and everything was okay. It was mostly just a great time to chat with my ranger partner who was a 67 year old man who has been to Burning Man 8 times and rangers no less than 65 hours each event. 

Singing was not a hard gift to give. Everywhere I went I met people who wanted to sing with me, or would just sit back and let me go on my own. There was one theme camp with instruments. One day I went with a few friends. I started singing into the microphone some improvised “Afrikaburn Blues.” Throughout the afternoon musicians of all types stopped by to jam and we made improvisational blues for hours. It was amazing. And exhausting. I had to be really creative on the spot, but I channeled my inner Drunk Judy Garland and I think I gave a pretty entertaining show. People were recognizing me for days after this so I must have done something right. 

Each day was a journey. I went to get pancakes at one camp and left with a new friend instead. I met people from all over the world and we talked about life, politics, culture, art- anything. I only had to defend myself against Trump a handful of times. People were sympathetic. We talked about race relations and how most attendees of Afrikaburn are middle-class white South Africans. It was something that bothered us all, especially because the farms surrounding the event were communities of African farmers who would not afford and most likely not even understand an event like this. Ultimately no one had any solutions to this problem. There is a clear cultural divide. It parallels the divide in the States, but it is more prominent and talked about here. 

At the end of the event food and left over water from the giant jugs would be donated to local communities, but ultimately, what does that really do? I know my experience at Afrikaburn was not the “Africa” I was used to in Madagascar. But it was still African. White South Africans are just as African as White Americans are American. It is all occupied territory. And like always, I am conflicted as hell.  

One of my biggest challenges in life is to live in the moment and let go. I feel like I am always planning the next step. My goal at Afrikaburn was to forget that and live. I think by the end of the week I had it down. Through a smorgasbord of new experiences, I was getting better at not putting pressure on myself and just being. Just doing what I felt like doing. There was no wrong turn to take at Afrikaburn. Every environment was stimulating and inspiring in some way.

I spent most of the time hopping between groups of friends I had made. I liked meeting new people, but I always crave a deeper connection (I am alone a lot!) so when I met people I clicked really well with, I tried to keep them in my peripheral. It worked really well!. I had multiple homes at Afrikaburn. There was so much love. I tried to just be carefree and give all the love I had. And make people feel warm and comfortable around me. 

On one of the last nights, I was pooped and I ended up falling asleep early. I think it was my 9th night there and I was starting to get really reflective. It was the Saturday night where weekend partiers had come in and most people would stay up until noon the following day. I went to sleep early and woke up in time for the 5am burning of the Baobab Tree. The Baobab Tree or Tree of Life was a massive tree funded by the Swedish Government. An army of builders came months before the event to create it. The tree had been a wonderful place to hang out throughout the event, to watch the world, to watch the sunset or the sunrise. And it was now time to burn it all away. 

At 4:30 am I heard some of my other friends in camp getting up to head to the tree. It was dark and oddly enough I wanted to go alone. So I slipped away before anyone could see I was around. I crossed the desert and sat on the rocky terrain, surrounded by fellow burners -all strangers this time. I did not talk to anyone. I just watched the fire dancers and waited for the Swedes to take their torches to their masterpiece. 

Once the tree was aflame, the fire grew into an explosion and lit up the whole Playa. I looked around and could see the expressions on the faces of people near and far. It was hot and I felt my face melting but I couldn’t look away as the embers began to fall all around us. 

Eventually I turned around to walk away, hoping to cross back to my tent before the firelight dimmed so I would not have to use a flashlight. I turned around periodically to watch it glow. 

As my sore feet crossed the sandy earth, I had an epiphany. I realized I was completely satisfied with my Afrikaburn Experience. I had done all I wanted and hoped to do. My mind had been widened. I was so inspired. Even though I was surrounded by friends, I felt comfortable being alone (in general I do not like being alone). In fact, I realized what a gift it was that I have spent these last three and a half years traveling and living abroad relatively alone. I felt empowered. I felt like I could do anything. I was reinvigorated to write music and perform more. I was reinvigorated to travel alone in other African countries.

The event wound down over the course of the next few days. I saw the people I cared about and made sure to exchange information. There was no internet in the desert. I watched people dismantle their camps, and I felt a tinge of sadness. Something I’d become a part of was going away. It was over.

For my last night, I tied a string I’d been wearing on my wrist since Madagascar inside the Conch Shell. Hours later I watched the shell burn away with a piece of my past sizzling along with it. 

There was a rainbow the next morning and I left Afrikaburn with my South African friends. I was still high on life. A phoenix of sorts. I was half-dead but I’d never felt more alive.