#anyway i hate living in a place where very few people believe in keeping their dogs on a leash. or at least in a FENCE urgghhhg

[missshirophantom]

I love your yandere Sebastian Solace so much <3 could you make a request on him having female reader in his shop after kidnapped the reader from her journey on getting the crystal to escape the place where she is forced to stayed in his shop- Where nothing but some noisy other prisoners/people could disturb his time with being with only your presence. When one of prisoners flashed him of the flashlight she took the opportunity to escape the shop without alerting Sebastian of her leaving due not wanting to risk getting caught (sorry if this doesn't make sense)

From the author : hello! I'm glad of that. It took a while, but it's done. I apologize if there is something wrong in the written request or if I misunderstood something. I hope you don't mind that I came up with the name of this one... Stories, yes. And I hope you don't mind the slight rigidity typical of yandex. content. I apologize also if this is short or a little concise, I was in a hurry when I wrote this, plus I was busy writing one story that I finally finished. Have a nice read :D

Warning : female reader, references to bondage (not really), mention of slight isolation, threat of fracture and amputation of a limb, possessive behavior, yandere.

Number of words : 1856

I Warned You

A lot of things have been happening in your life lately. The time before you were put in jail does not matter. Whether you were actually imprisoned for a crime or not. The important thing is that in the end you agreed to the offer of a certain company Urbanshade. All you wanted was to finally get out of this prison, especially when the woman was not living very well there.

However, you never even allowed the thought that this seemingly simple matter would turn out to be so dangerous.

Meetings with these... Creatures that have left you with nightmares. You didn't even think then that it could be worse than just being in jail. At least there was some respite, but here you're just in eternal fear for your life.

You weren't exactly sure what attracted one of these creatures named Sebastian, as he calls himself. Especially when you came to his store several times for, most often, a first-aid kit.

So that didn't explain why he kidnapped you and kept you in his store. It was especially frustrating that you were pretty close to that damn crystal and the long-awaited freedom. Literally a few steps away, and then you lost consciousness before you woke up in a man's store.

You were afraid to do anything. More precisely, you tried, but Sebastian's threats were sufficiently eloquently that you did not think of doing anything to his satisfaction.

Compared to what happened to you in prison before, being here is not a bad thing. If you think about it optimistically.

There was food, albeit mostly raw meat, and canned goods from the warehouses of this base. There was also a soft, very soft, place to sleep. And a little entertainment in the form of reading the documents that Sebastian allowed you to take and talking with him.

What you definitely didn't like, and even scared, was the almost constant attempts of a man to bite you. He also kept you wrapped up with his tail all the time when you were sleeping or "annoyed" him when he was busy. You didn't know what it was about, and even if you did, you wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

And you also hated when he used handcuffs to keep you in his "lair" while he went to get supplies. Even when you behaved well, he did it anyway, deliberately not believing you and mocking you. Which was true, but your wrists hurt because of the uncomfortable position and even turned a little red where the metal rubbed against your skin.

You reluctantly accepted it.

An attitude, but definitely not a position.

You were afraid of what Sebastian might do to you if you did run away, but damn. You were so eager to get out and finally get freedom, despite the fact that your last attempt was unsuccessful, and the scar on the back of your neck still hurt. A reminder of your "misconduct," as a man hissed in your ear during his bad days. And then there's the daily mockery...

Even his "good" attitude towards you does not cover what is here, especially with him, is unbearable.

But subconscious fear, as well as those memories of your past escape attempts, made you freeze in place when you stood next to the ventilation hole open to customers.

About the customers...

These are the days that allowed you to exhale a little, because it was at such moments that Sebastian's close attention and obsession were less, because he was distracted by the prisoners who bought things from him. And it also lifted your spirits a little, because you could talk a little with those prisoners who did not treat girls disgustingly.

It's good that your abductor did not interfere with this, even if he frowned and became more intrusive after the person left.

You fidgeted a little in your seat while you were sitting on one of the iron boxes, looking bored at the book in your hands, which you reread for the third time. Sebastian brought you this book from one of his outings. The plot was not bad and you even liked it, although after each re-reading, the book turned out to be quite boring. And not only because you already knew the story.

You listened out of the corner of your ear to the mumbling of a visiting prisoner who was fiddling with his research, greedily looking at some of the things being sold in Sebastian's bags.

As far as you remember, this person lacked literally several dozen studies to buy this. It could be seen that they were clearly in distress.

You put the book aside, raising your head.

Sweat broke out on the man's face as they rummaged in all their pockets, desperately looking for more research, but not finding it, began to sweat harder. At the time, Sebastian was looking at them maliciously, folding his two arms over his chest, clearly enjoying the discomfort of the prisoner.

You frowned quite a bit at this. Suddenly, a rather unexpected thought came to your mind: what if?..

It is at this second that the man pulls out a Flash Beacon and pulls the trigger, clearly hoping to steal the right thing in this way.

And at the same moment, when Sebastian's angry and painful scream rang out, you rushed to the vent and crawled through it.

You acted on pure instincts, moving as if your life depended on it. You could hear an even louder, angry scream as you ran out of the hallway, followed by the sound of a gunshot.

You didn't remember how long you ran like that, but you had to run as far as possible, especially when you acted so impulsively and did not report this action to Sebastian in any way... Although, if that had happened, he would have handcuffed you to a pipe or a staircase railing... But you just wanted to feel freedom at least for a short time, even without resuming the path to the crystal.

Your legs barely held you up and hurt a lot from the sudden and prolonged running, which almost made you stumble. You were breathing heavily, almost hoarsely, leaning against the wall. Gradually, as you catch your breath, you begin to fully realize what you have done.

Damn it, what have you done?

What is the chance that in this case Sebastian will not give you a very strong punishment? And then he will move with his magician to another place so that it will be harder for the prisoners to get to him, and also so that you are not familiar with the situation?..

Although it was not this that scared you more, but what kind of punishment a man would apply for your impulsiveness ...

You swallowed nervously, involuntarily looking down at your legs, which were trembling after running... Or maybe from fear of the unknown.

You started when you heard a noise in the next room and ran again, as if your life depended on it. Which was not far from the truth.

You heard a very familiar angry growl behind you, which caused you to accelerate, panicking, looking for a place where you could hide from danger. In the next room, you find a small overturned closet among other furniture scattered throughout the room, and hurry inside. You clamped your hands over your mouth, curled up in a trembling ball in the corner of the furniture.

You held your breath when you heard another crash and thud, but it was all in this room.

— Where are you, little fish? — The voice was full of growls and hisses, quite far from human speech and literally inhuman.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to move a muscle, when you heard the sound of a body sliding on the floor, as well as the way the furniture moved, almost breaking under the force of the hybrid's claws.

— Do you remember I warned you not to run away? Or have you forgotten that?! — there was another sound of furniture moving, but this one, apparently, flew into the wall. Dangerously close to where you were— ah, I knew you were dumb, but to be so lovely?

You tried not to flinch or sob at his tone and noise as he broke furniture next to you, clearly venting his anger.

— Should I break you or amputate your leg so that you stop thinking about escaping, huh?!

You shuddered weakly, shrinking into a ball from his threat, barely breathing through the tears that silently flowed from your eyes. Of course, you guessed that something would be determined, but... No, no, no...

— If you come out now, I won't do anything to you, little fish, — the tone of the voice dropped, and the hissing was not heard so much now.

But for some reason it scared you even more, which is why the instincts in your body made you freeze in place. You've never felt so terrified, even when you almost ran away the last time. You felt like a real prey next to a large predator, ready to attack and eat right like that.

Because of fear, time seemed to freeze for you, as well as all the noise that began to move further and further away from you, indicating that Sebastian was moving away from your hiding place. You were still trembling, barely able to move for the first few seconds, when you realized he was gone.

It took about a few dozen minutes before you could move, when the paralyzing fear began to subside from you. By that time, all the noise had stopped and it was terribly quiet.

It bothered you a lot and you were afraid to open the closet door, but you couldn't sit here for a long time because of a little claustrophobia and fear that the hybrid might come back and find you.

You wiped the tears from your cheeks with a trembling hand, exhaling raggedly and hesitantly and very slowly unlocked the locker door.

At the same moment, your hand was intercepted and you were literally yanked out of hiding with your scream.

You saw your own frightened reflection in Sebastian's inhuman eyes. A sob escaped your lips, breaking the silence, then a terribly quiet voice was heard:

— I. Warned. You.

[sebscore]

TWITCH WAR

pairing: lando norris x driver!reader (brief cameos of charles and russell george)

warnings: swearing. rumplestiltskin. mention of george being a war criminal. wetting pants.

author’s note: not my best work, but this has been sitting in my drafts for too long. anyway, enjoy 💖

• • • • • • •

''Do I play with Y/N?'' Lando read the question out loud, seeing it in his comment section. ''Well, she always told me she was very good at like any kind of game and that she would kick my ass, but then I played with her and… let's say she's definitely not as good as me.'' The Brit bragged about his own skills, a smirk forming on his face.

He glanced at the incoming replies from the fans, enjoying their reactions. ''She asked to play together a few weeks ago and we did, but ever since then I haven't dared to play with her again,'' he grinned, ''whenever she asks me now, I just go offline.''

''Oh, she's gonna kill me when she sees this.'' He giggled like a schoolgirl.

She did in fact kill him when the clip of him talking shit was sent to her by fans and even other drivers. Not literally, that wouldn't be a good career move, but she took to Twitter to indirectly respond to Lando's ''claims''.

YourUsername: people, don't take the words of twinks seriously 😫

Y/N's clapbacks didn't stop there as she went live on Instagram not too long after Lando's Twitch stream. Fans obviously couldn't help but ask about the British driver.

''Do I still want to play with Lando? Nooo~ I don't want to stream with him anymore, I really don't.'' The grin on her face was a dead giveaway she was only teasing him. ''He's super bad, that Rumplestiltskin.''

''She called me Rumplestiltskin?'' Lando read the comment out loud, his eyebrows furrowed. ''What does that even mean?'' He couldn't really remember where the name came from, so he decided to look it up and was met with the character from Shrek.

He gave the camera an unimpressed look before moving on. ''You guys want to know a fun story about Y/N from our karting days?'' A smirk already appeared on his face.

''She was pushed off track by someone and she pissed her pants because of it.''

''It was water! I didn't wet my pants, oh my god!'' The driver exclaimed on stream, not believing that Lando actually told that story. ''We were like 9 years-old.''

''You know, Y/N, I think I also remember that.'' George chimed in, he had been amused by their little Twitch war ever since they started it.

She rolled her eyes upon George's words. ''Hey! It was probably you who pushed me off the track in the first place, you war criminal!'' Y/N clapped back at him.

''Anyway, Lando shouldn't be speaking at all when he still looks and talks like a 9 year-old.''

''Lando, should we invite Y/N to play with us?'' Charles asked the McLaren driver after seeing countless comments in his chat asking about the female driver.

The Brit loudly sighed, causing the Monégasque to burst out laughing. ''What's wrong, Lando?''

''Because of her, people keep asking me if I've hit puberty yet.'' He said, frustration audible in his voice, much to the entertainment of Charles and everyone else watching him.

Their ''beef'' came to an end when the media had started to pick up on their back-and-forths and tried to make it seem like the two close friends hated each other and that they would become a danger to each other on track.

''Are you worried that the words you and Y/N have exchanged over social media will have an effect on how the two of you perform on track?'' One reporter asked Lando in a press conference.

He shook his head. ''We're just joking around, honestly. We've been friends for a long time and we've always joked around with each other like this, so, no, it won't have an effect on track.'' He politely answered, slightly ticked off by the seriousness of it all.

Y/N had been placed into a different group for the press conference, where she was asked about their ''war''. ''There have been some harsh word exchanges between yourself and Lando Norris, are you two on good terms or is there some sort of bad blood?''

''Yeah, we hate each other,'' her sarcastic tone sticking out, ''that's why we voluntarily spent all that time together when we're not racing.'' Her answer gathered laughs from her fellow drivers and even some reporters.

''Also, when we're on the topic,'' she stated, ''just because Lando hasn't hit puberty, doesn't mean that I haven't.''

[bowelfly]

Honest question from someone who also dislikes "invasive species control that amounts to kill on sight": what do you suggest as an alternative control effort should I encounter say a spotted lanternfly or a spongy moth? I really hate just killing bugs for being in the wrong place. Thanks!

i honestly don't think there is much that any individual person can do. like in general once an exotic species has established in an area there's almost nothing short of a fast and concerted multimillion dollar years-long eradication program that even stands a chance of actually removing them entirely. and this is a rant for another day but generally nobody wants to pay for the kind of program that stands an actual chance of being successful. it doesn't matter how many concerned citizens you convince to go around smashing animals, if even a handful get missed, and many many more than a handful will get missed, the survivors can lay enough eggs and rapidly enough that the population will have no trouble rebounding. the way to eradicate an invasive species, when it's even possible, is through very strategic and large-scale application of pesticides, environmental control, parasitoids, and other integrated pest management strategies.

and that's not even mentioning that the whole smash-on-sight thing requires people to recognize the target and not just smash every bug they see which is also another rant for another day because you would not fucking believe how bad people are at identifying insects like i've had fucking crane flies reported as "murder hornets" (another rant). i genuinely believe that entomology should be a core primary and secondary education subject alongside history and math. the world is mostly bugs and it's important to know at least a little about them. without mass knowledge, the whole campaign just engenders a further generalized fear and disgust and violence towards all insects which is fucking nasty to me.

anyway i'm getting distracted. back to your question, what should you do if you encounter a spotted lanternfly or spongy moth or japanese beetle or whatever? report it to your state's department of agriculture if you live in the united states, or to whatever the equivalent is if you live elsewhere. chances are they're already aware of the infestation in your area but there's always the chance that they're not. with any luck they're one of the few ones that actually has the funding to operate a large-scale control program and are working on it already. again i'm very fatalistic about these things and don't think that eradication is possible in most cases by the time the exotic insect is discovered but at the very least it is often possible to keep the populations in check to the point that they're not an ecological/economic catastrophe using the IPM methods mentioned above--with enough funding. you can kill the bug if you want but smashing one bug or a dozen or a hundred or a thousand isn't going to do shit in the long run or the large scale and it's not the bug's fault that it is where it is.

[arthuringmymorgan]

rdr has been consuming a lot of my thoughts lately, and i need to write it down somewhere or i’m gonna go insane. i’ve been thinking a lot about arthur’s celibacy, specifically the layers and complexity to it beyond him just not wanting to have sex. gta 5 came out way before rdr2 and you’re able to take home prostitutes in it. rockstar is capable of adding this feature but just chose not to do it for rdr2. looking at it simply they probably just decided it wasn’t necessary for the game, but i love character analysis and i love arthur morgan so obviously i have to look at it at a deeper level.

to me there’s two major reasons as to why arthur refuses to have sex, the first being that he uses celibacy as a form of self punishment. arthur has very low self esteem, both from how he looks (when you interact with a hotel mirror for the first time he starts calling himself ugly and says “no wonder everyone leaves you”. this man hates himself and it makes me SO sad), and also from just how he is. throughout the game arthur makes it very clear that he does not see himself as a good man, and when you pay more attention to his character it’s clear that he is good at heart, his lifestyle just forces him not to be. he goes out of his way to help strangers and is never mean or rude to them (at most he makes some sarcastic jokes but that’s it). i believe that if arthur were given a choice he wouldn’t choose to live a life that revolves around hurting people, but he wasn’t given a choice. he was orphaned at a young age, dutch and hosea found him, and he was raised into an outlaw so he could keep a place in the gang and survive. he’s done really bad things and the point of this isn’t to act like he’s done nothing wrong, i just feel like it’s worth noting that he most likely wouldn’t do those things if life hadn’t worked out for him this way, and it wasn’t necessary for his survival.

so arthur sees himself as a bad man, to the point where if anyone so much as implies that he’s good he’ll deny the hell out of it. and because he doesn’t see himself as a good person, he believes he doesn’t deserve good things. this is mostly obvious in the way he talks about eliza and isaac, making a point to mention that because of his life he was never really there for them and couldn’t see them often. of course he blames himself for it, but it seems like part of him is telling himself that he deserved this. not that they deserved to get killed, but that he deserved to lose them, because they made him happy and why should a bad man have anything that makes him happy. so, arthur denies himself of any good thing, including sex, part of why he chooses to be celibate.

the other, most obvious reason, has to do with eliza and isaac. again, because of his life, he could never really be there for them. he could only show up a few times a year, rather than stick around and be a constant in isaac’s life. and one day, he shows up and they’re both dead. this would’ve be so painful, and of course arthur never wants to go through that again, so he just refuses sex in general. if he doesn’t have sex, then he can’t get anyone pregnant, he can’t have a kid, he can’t have one really good thing in his life that makes him really happy, and he can’t have it ripped away from him again. of course, the odds of what happened to eliza and isaac happening again, the exact same way, to somebody else is low, but it’s still a possibility so arthur just doesn’t risk it.

anyway i’m insane about this game and i have so much to say about it so i’m sorry that this was long i just needed to get it out somewhere 😭😭

[karfecc-dreamer]

Hello! Sorry for the pause of a few days, I just felt too lazy to draw and post something, meh... I decided to try to start posting a slightly different format of posts besides drawings - my headcanons. It won't happen too often though.

Anyway, here are my Emerson headcanons! (yes, unexpectedly, I know)

1. Emerson has quite serious problems with his spine, since he has to sit in one place for a long time and often does not keep his posture straight.

2. He can actually leave his work place after his shift and no one is holding him forcibly, but his shift lasts a very long time (about 18-20 hours, I think?), and the diner is located in the middle of nowhere, so he simply does not have time to get there normally home and back. For this reason, he kind of lives and spends the night right at his place of work.

3. Emerson loves his job and is proud of it, but there is one small nuance... Bive's theory is actually 100% correct, and the management of Red Ball Diner and related establishments really brainwash people to work loyally for them. So all this absolute love for his work is absolutely forced, and deep down Emerson knows it and hates it, but he can't do anything about it.

4. His diet mainly consists of sausage scraps, cheese and raw meat, bread balls, the occasional cockroach and a hellish dose of soda drinks and coffee.

5. His body is constantly very stiff and tense.

6. He has some difficulty breathing.

7. He really loves the children's drawings that hang on the walls, because they were actually sincerely drawn by real children (even if they look suspiciously fake in such a place)

8. His face hurts from constant forced smile.

9. When he gives orders to customers, he throws them with all the anger and aggression he can muster. And in general, he has quite big problems with aggression due to a lot of stress, but he doesn’t know where to put it, because at work he needs to endure and restrain himself.

10. His friends and family know where he is, but they don't worry about it because from the outside he pretends that everything is fine (and believes it himself)

(Sorry for any grammatical mistakes)

[coolchulainn]

drawing your ffxiv guys without context is just the way of the world but I was looking at my art of them thinking about if any of that would make sense to someone with no context so I do wanna give the basics (rare coolchulainn textpost)

.

kaitan is an old eccentric wandering hedonist with an unknown and unimportant past. looks stern and stoic at first sight, but he's a friendly reliable shady uncle. you can trust him with your life, but probably shouldn't lend him money. he has no ambition beyond simply enjoying everything in life, but his skill and confidence tend to attract high expectations that he fairly easily lives up to. more competent than hardworking. friendly and easy to get along with, but being well suited for performing heroic deeds makes him often overshadowed by his actions, so very few people truly understand him.

believes in justice, but has no interest in enacting it. doesn't care to change the world, because he likes it fine as-is. all ways of life are equally worth living to him, so in the wrong crowd he's a horrible enabler. since simply being alive is the most valuable thing to him, he thinks everyone who's ever died for anything is an idiot, and doesn't understand grief at all. he approves of everything that exists and doesn't hate even the things he hates, so he's a difficult person to deal with for people who do have things they absolutely can't accept. because he tends to attract admiration, he particularly likes people who hate him.

his body is that of a flesh and blood person, but in truth he's a conceptual wish-granting mechanism, a holy grail. it malfunctioned and developed a personality that rejects having a purpose to fulfil, but people can't help but place their hopes in him anyway, and he's still built to turn those into results. even if he did know that at some point he long since forgot it as something unimportant, but viscerally rejecting the one way of life that should come most naturally to him is a fatal contradiction that will definitely break something if he becomes aware of it.

his image color is hot pink. his imagery is bells, the sunset, a bird flying underwater, and a shooting star that lands at your side. he often wears hats or sunglasses because his eyes are sensitive to light.

.

althoorn ran away from home at a young age and ended up in ishgard, where he served as butler to house haillenarte for well over a century until he got framed for a political assassination (because being an obvious outsider made him a convenient scapegoat) and had to flee the city some 20 years before the events of the game. he was knighted by his first master in hopes of securing his position in ishgard's volatile sociopolitical climate for the rest of his long life, but didn't learn to actually fight until after he fled, so he's got a lot of complexes about that and spent those 20 years becoming a paranoid cocktail of resentment towards and longing for ishgard. genuinely a modest and helpful person at heart, but also compulsively polite for fear of what will happen if he outlives his usefulness again. repressed as all good catholics are.

a bitter weakling who can't stop getting shreds of hope stuck under his fingernails as he claws his way to desperate survival. objectively a pretty competent and capable person, but things never really work out for him and he's lacking in protagonist power, so he thinks of himself as weak. he holds great disdain for the reality of ishgard's knights precisely because he keeps the ideal of knighthood so close to his heart, so he can't forgive either himself or others for not living up to those impossible standards. the longing for his old humble life, the distant ideal he holds dear, and the prey animal instinct fear of death all constantly fight for priority in his head. easy to break, but hard to keep that way.

getting framed the same way a second time and having to return to ishgard only to win the trial by combat he'd feared all this time and proceed to unveil ishgard's past sins makes him incredibly unstable and vindicated, and he develops a god complex intense and delusional enough to let him briefly transform into a primal of halone able to [save/punish] ishgard. the shock of estinien getting hogg'd crashes it back down and he's ashamed of it now, but he can't forget that taste of the ideal self who can do everything right either, and struggles to reconcile his legitimate capabilities with their inability to actually get him anywhere.

his image color is dark blue. his imagery is the jackalope and wolpertinger, living dolls, and sir dagonet the knighted fool. he wears gloves most of the time because his hands are permanently damaged by frostbite.

.

their formal relationship is that althoorn is a retainer kaitan hired. the reality is that kaitan is able to fulfil althoorn's ideal without even believing in it, which makes kaitan the most unforgivable person of all, but because kaitan is someone who accepts everything, he is also one of the few people althoorn dares to be hateful around to begin with.

kaitan is the actual warrior of light, and despite althoorn by all rights becoming the hero of the dragonsong war while kaitan was MIA after the banquet, it's kaitan who actually killed nidhogg while althoorn struggled to save just a single person. althoorn's zealous desire caught him the eye of both god and the holy grail, but neither can change that he is fundamentally unchosen.

their dynamic is basically that they're a fate-style master and servant, with althoorn as the master. the point of compatibility is that althoorn is so deeply scared of death that no matter how much he hates his own cowardice and weakness, he never ends up being actually suicidal or self sacrificial.

[mimikw]

Random Edward Nashton HCs

>> This is very short and also VERY random,,, slight suggestive/nsfw-ish hcs mixed in too

>> g/n reader ლ⁠(⁠^⁠o⁠^⁠ლ⁠)

At some point he got depressed and started eating more than usually, causing him to become chubby

There was a cat outside his college building and he would bring it canned foods, he sometimes forgets to because of how busy he gets.

He had crushes back in the orphanage, a boy and the other one's a girl.

He first had a crush on the boy who confessed to him (He believed that he actually liked him). He eventually finds out that it was just a dare from the boy's group of friends and cried himself to sleep.

He makes anagrams of your name

Constantly thinks of you. He couldn't even focus on his work sometimes.

When he misses you he would text you riddles.

It's shown in the comic that he listens to podcasts. I think he would listen to podcasts often after work or when he's in the train.

When you're out for a long time, he cuddles your shirt or jacket to sleep.

Has back/chest acne scars. He really doesn't like them

I think he'd be very clean, and by clean I mean he would wash his body twice, doesn't like the thought of being dirty so he makes sure he had cleaned every spot.

Makes random doodles on napkins or notepads.

Definitely has a thing for your thighs and love bites

Will show you off in some of his Livestreams, and ofc, his followers floods the chat

Does the sharing the other side of the earphones thing

Always holds your hand in the subway, diner, litteraly anywhere you go together

He collects random tiny trinkets/figures and places them on his desk

Has like two anime figures, sitting on his desk, I'm thinking of those chibi Miku figurines (He doesn't know who Miku is he just thought it was cute)

He goes to surplus stores, it's where you can buy random second hand stuff. He just looks around when he's free or when he feels like it. That's also where he found the Miku figurines.

If you have fluffy hair, he'll play with it when you're cuddling, stroking and petting your head. When you tell him to stop cause it always gets messy and covers your eye, yeah he'll stop for a little while, he keeps coming back to playing with it but quickly stops himself, He'll eventually play with your hair again.

Likes kaomojis, he thinks they're cute and silly.

When he comes home from "cleansing the city" and finds you still awake and waiting for him... He'll start cooing sweet things at you, telling you how much you don't deserve to live in this god forsaken city... ends up with you making out... and then to something else.

You never go out for groceries alone, he always has to be with you, specially when it's dark.

Goes to the local library and buys 15 puzzle books regularly.

He has a small Totoro keychain

Yk how most people dream of writing handwritten love letters for your partners, he's like that but in a more lovesick seial killer insane way

Used to be a part of a debate club and every opponent he gets hates him, he always defeats them anyway.

Has a few candies in his jacket's pocket.

He doesn't usually drink or get drunk, but one time he did and started saying random shit, also said to himself a little too loud how much he always wanted to make you feel good, that he could spend hours fucking you dumb. He wakes up completely forgotten about everything he said.

That's all I can think of for now, when I get more random thoughts i'll make a second part. (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

Thank you for taking your time to read all of this!

[idontblushsrry]

Request Headcanon

nuttymouthful asked:  Uhh may I make a request for Ouran High School Host club? Just a headcanon for how the host would react to meeting someone how is a big time animal lover. (Like they pretty much live there life like the Irwin family)

A/N: I was thinking about how I’d write this and my brain just went ‘they lost their shit at the sight of instant coffee’, so uhh I hope this is to your liking. I tried to get as much animal variety as I could even though I didn’t really touch on marine animals that much)

Warnings: Like 2 swear words (pinky promise), slight drug mention(literally so small you might not even notice it), spoilers (minor) for Tamaki’s mom

Word Count: 1292

General

So this is under the assumption that like the Irwin family, Reader (or their family) has access to a wide variety of animals (from domestic to wild)

All of them respect the passion you have for animals

While they all might have various feelings on animals (see below), they can’t deny that you truly do love animals

Your family’s sanctuary focuses on healing injured animals and rehabilitating them so they can go back into the wild

Of course, your family has many sanctuaries around the world and some focus more on conservation while others focus on research 

The one closest to the school focuses mainly on conservation and as such, is massive and functions like a zoo ( in terms of having people come in and see the animals)

Anyways, the host club is very supportive and often helps you with organizing donation events

Oftentimes, your family will collaborate with them and allow them to rent out parts of the conservation center for events

Aside from the conservation center though, your family owns a few ranches and farms (not for commercial profit, although yall have sold a few animals)

The farms and ranches are relatively small scale but they make great venues for the host club and a great place for getaways/vacations

Your main house is where you keep most of your favorite animals

You have an aviary attached to your room (connected through a hallway that connects to your room) as well as a butterfly garden in the backyard

You also have an aquarium tank, 2 dogs, 1 cat, 1 snake, and a hamster that visits on weekends

You had to be stopped at some point

Tamaki

Tamaki loves animals

He was never really around animals growing up because of how sensitive his mom’s immune system is

So when he sees that you’re an animal person, he’s super excited

Like this man is already planning playdates between Antoinette and your pets/animals

You love his enthusiasm, just one small problem

It’s a little too much enthusiasm

Yes the animals are well trained, but how would you react if a 6′0 giant with long arms came barreling towards you screaming showing its teeth? 

So yeah, Tamaki tends to set the animals off/ make them nervous

Because of that he’s only allowed around certain animals (ex. certain monkeys, certain birds, etc.)

He’s happy that he’s allowed around some animals but he still pouts every time there’s an animal he can’t be around

Kyoya

This man

Kyoya does not fuck with animals. Like at all

The first time the host club went to your house, you were holding a hamster and Kyoya moved back about 10 feet

When you asked him what was wrong, he just said “Rats are carriers of many of the most deadly diseases”

You told him that you were holding a hamster and that while hamsters were rodents, the worst he’d get sick with would be salmonella

He doesn’t believe you, but yeah sure whatever

For Kyoya it just gets worse after that

The first time he sees you holding a tarantula, he loses his shit

“Look how cute it is Kyoya!”

“Get that vermin away from me!”

I could go on and on about how much Kyoya doesn’t like animals (even domestic ones like cats and dogs)

He hates going to your house, but he often has to go there in order to set up events for the host club, what a nightmare

While he doesn’t care for animals, the business side of his brain can’t help but think of a marketing opportunity

Mori

Is one of two hosts that are going to be chill about it

He doesn’t feel one way or the other about animals and thinks it’s cool that you’re interested in them

Only thing is; if Honey’s afraid of your animals, he will have to ask you to leave he won’t hesitate to step in “harm’s” way

Surprisingly though, that actually makes him the chillest with your animals

Much to your surprise (and Tamaki’s sorrow), the animals love him

He just has this calming vibe that sets the animals at ease

It also helps that he smells nice and is super tall

For most of them it’s like sitting on a giant tree

He’s not really complaining though, it makes his job of protecting Honey that much easier

Honey

Oh boy

He might actually be the worst with animals

It’s not even an issue of being unable to defend against aggressive animals (Honey could probably solo a grizzly bear)

It’s just he has a very strict “cute” animal policy that changes wildly depending on his mood, the temperature, the angle of the wind, the humidity, etc.

He’s very bougie when it comes to what animals he will tolerate and what animals he will refuse to see

The general safe choices are rabbits (especially bunnies), kittens, cows, tits (the bird species), and baby animals of almost every domestic mammal species)

Him and the hamster you see on weekends are best friends

Also, you have had issues with him trying to feed the animals sweets

Explaining to Honey why rabbits can’t have carrot cake was not an easy conversation, nor was it one you thought you’d need to have 

Because of how specific he is about what animals he finds cute, you likened him to a crocodile (because of how sensitive they are to temp. changes in egg)

Needless to say...he was not pleased

Hikaru

So him and Kaoru don’t really care for animals but they try to relate to you in somewhat similar but different ways

Hikaru is always trying to get you to do/recreate stunts with the animals

“Hey Y/N, we should-”

“No Hikaru”

“You don’t even know what I was gonna say”

“No you cannot use the dolphins for hoop tricks, no you cannot teach the gorillas how to roll blunts, no you cannot “bribe” the koalas with eucalyptus...”

Yeah he’s a menace

It’s mostly all in good fun though

Hikaru doesn’t really care for animals but he does find it hilarious that the animals like him more than Tamaki

Also, completely random but Hikaru definitely send you those “horse-sized duck vs duck sized horses” memes

Kaoru

Kaoru also tries to use animals on the internet to relate to you, but he’s a lot tamer than Kaoru

Kaoru is kind of like the parent who learns one thing you like and is like “that’s your entire personality right?”

Poor bby is trying his best

Anyways, whereas Hikaru tries to recreate memes, Kaoru sends you them

They range in quality and format; from top text, bottom text to “is this a ____”

At least once a day, Kaoru will send you a meme or picture of an animal with a caption that says ‘this reminded me of u :)’

It’s so endearing that you can’t even be mad about it

Haruhi

Is the only other one who’s kind of cool about the whole thing

She’s really only been around animals in the park or the occasional pet store

Growing up, she didn’t really have the time (or money) to go to the zoo, that and the fact that Ranka doesn’t care at all for animals (she thinks they’re weird and gross)

When Tamaki hears this, he works himself up into a frenzy, torn that his “daughter” has never been to a zoo (even tho he hasn’t either)

But she likes the fact that you’re so passionate about animals

At heart, she’s a scholar, so she loves learning new things she didn’t know before, she could spend all day just listening to you talk about animals

Not to mention the fact that you’re basically giving her a free informational tour every time you see an animal

[will80sbyers]

Brett unapologetically believes what he believes. This makes criticizing him less worthwhile to people, cuz if it doesn't affect him, then what's the point?

With Noah, it's clear he's a lot more apologetic about what he believes. We've seen how quickly he backtracks and it's cuz his beliefs were never that strong in the first place. He's a total sponge. He's not confident about his beliefs whatsoever in the same way Brett is because his beliefs largely stem from the beliefs his loved ones have, who he trusts to have good beliefs. This makes tearing him down a lot more entertaining to people that love a good downfall.

I remember after 10/7, there were a few days where Noah did not say anything. So many people were waiting for the ball to drop. I was curious how his Israeli friends were reacting, and low and behold they both had instagram stories that were very obviously directed at him, crying and saying how they were disappointed that someone who they thought cared about them, who has millions of followers, hadn't said anything. And predictably, the next day he started being vocal about it.

And now we just saw how quickly he took down his copypasta after filming started. Im guessing all it took was a few days filming on set among the cast, away from his family and inner circle, for them to talk some sense into him, because he. is. a. sponge!!

It's crazy to think how much appeasing the people around him has probably played a big role in this. And how him now backtracking is only going to make them hate him now too, all the while not even getting the people that hate him already to even consider forgiving him anyways.

I agree with you I think he's VERY easy to suggestion from other people and that's what brought him to say certain things, I feel like propaganda does work and people just undermine that or like to talk about it theoretically but then when they see someone that actually did fall for it or that feels pressured to do things and is clearly influenced they don't take it into consideration and start jumping to the worst possible conclusion that they are heartless monsters etc even when they didn't idk commit direct crimes themselves because of it

I also feel like ignoring that there are LOTS of people that take the meaning of Zionism with a complete different meaning than what we take it as (because of what it is doing in the practical way of expressing that philosophy) is being disingenuous

In the same way that people saying that "from the river to the sea" means that you're saying that you want Jewish people dead is disingenuous

There are two different meanings that people have and not all of them mean that in the sense that they want to kill or keep opressing the other side EVEN if that is born from that, you know people don't mean it in that way, especially people that are not even living in those places themselves, like if you know that - you have to explain to them why that name to you has the same connotation as for example "fascist"

If you think about it, the words fascist and other similar words of political movements are not born with the people giving them inherent negative meaning but that meaning got attached there because of what they did as a movement, which is the same thing that happens with Zionism, but people that are born inside that culture where you get told that that word has a different meaning OBVIOUSLY are not going to tell you that they agree with the negative meaning unless they have been freed from propaganda and can actually see that there can be no distinction anymore because of what they have done... But again we're talking about deprogramming someone, it is just not easy to do!

They will refute that idea because it's a complete shift of the belief system you had since your were born... It's obvious to me that you can't just throw them in a box of "evil" just because they fight to make peace with that idea or refuse it

And online there's a jump from rightly asking for clarification or an apology with accountability when necessary to literally wanting that person dead or in complete misery immediately and never forgiving them or at least letting them live their own life without abuse and harassment

No matter what they actually did or didn't do, like a serial killer is put on the same plane of someone that says a fucked up thing and to me that's kind of insane... I feel like we lost measure (?) idk how to explain this in a better way I just have started feeling like it's all too much online it wouldn't be how you help people to change in the actual real world

And to be clear I'm not against people being called out and having to demonstrate that they did change, (I'm not even a "non violent" person... when needed. Like, I would punch a nazist if I needed to for example) but I feel like now the type of harassment is extreme no matter the "crime"

and instead of it being about helping our world to get better it has become about piling on to pile on and have the most liked post at the same time and these people don't care at all if that person changes or not, they are in the "evil" list now and there they must stay

[beevean]

We finally watched Nocturne.

... what? No, no endless post this time :P not only because it's just one season. It's just as I expected: it's not as infuriating as its big sibling. (unless you're familiar with the French Revolution coughcough@the-crow-binary)

We only watched the first four episodes so far, and I have already said a lot, so let's go.

The thing I complained the most about, I noticed, was the worldbuilding, mostly how vampires work. The original show "elfified" vampires, only keeping the basic traits "need blood, don't like sunlight or running water, can turn into things like bats and mist". They were portrayed as this ancient rage, one with its own culture (much superior than the dumb humans who forget everything because church bad): they sleep normally, they can eat food if they so wish, apparently they can have sex with zero issues lol, and infamously child vampires are treated as, well, innocent children and not as poor human kids suffering a terrible fate. Trevor even kindly tells us that the reason vampires hate crosses regardless of their faith is because their eyesight is so advanced that they freak out at the sight of geometrical shapes. The only monstruous trait they have is that apparently they have a tendency to go insane and crave power. Honestly, they kind of remind me of Twilight.

And somehow Nocturne manages to get it worse.

Now, yes, vampires in Nocturne bite far more often than in the OG show. I think in that other show we see them doing that... twice? And Carmilla and Lenore lick Hector's blood; then they just drink from their stock of blood à la Drac from SoTN. Anyway, Nocturne is more willing to show them as beasts, so good job. Hell, Sun Thundercat even turns a human!

But in this setting, vampires seem to not even have those few weaknesses they had in the OG show. For a story centered on how Sun Thundercat will bring eternal night to the world because sun is the number 1 obstacle to vampires, it's baffling how easily they can just walk around in plain daylight. Olrox looks out of the window with his face illuminated by the sun. Drolta can literally walk just fine, even without a parasol. @spinningbuster98 kept asking "why don't peasants or slaves just destroy the windows of the places where they know vampires live?" - well clearly they'd be fine!

And special shoutout to Drolta who openly mocks the concept of her being hurt by being in a church. At least in S1, Blue Fangs explained its presence in the Bishop's church by blaming his heinous actions for pushing God away.

Vampires are also shockingly well integrated into society. These extremely pale people, with visible pointy ears and long fangs, can chill around in a nice palace or stroll into a theatre, and no one bats an eye. How? In the OG show, vampires could be in a position of power (see the council of Styria), but they mostly worked from the shadows. Did humans just... accept the presence of these monsters?

(the cross weakness becomes way funnier now. Vampires are weak to the religion they used to believe in, so Annette can ask the help of the Christian God to harm previously Christian vampires. I actually like this. But then this makes that OG "vampires have super freaky eyesight" scene even stupider than it used to be)

Another point for the clumsy worldbuilding. Hey, remember how I complained that N!Hector wearing Hector's CoD outfit makes no sense? Because that's what he could cobble up from his old Devil Forgemaster uniform and it's basically the best he can wear for running through the country and fighting, while N!Hector 1) is still in Drac's service in S2 so you'd expect a more professional uniform from him, like the one worn by N!Isaac, and 2) he very much does not fight, making details like the arm guard and the single glove look redudant. We have a similar issue here: Maria, whose design was taken straight out of DXC, complains in the first episode that her mother is too poor to pay taxes. You can tell that she doesn't look that poor. To make things even worse, in the second episode, Tera is able to offer bread to Annette and Edouard: the French Revolution started, among other reasons, because even bread got ridiculously expensive for common people! So which is it? Is Maria one of the common people, or a well-off young woman who really has no business leading the revolution?

And this... is tied to other problems.

The French Revolution is nothing more than a shallow backdrop for the main plot being the Vampire Messiah being hyped up as the greatest evil to ever evil. You can tell the writers did not care when they cast Vaublanc, a real person who fought against slavery, as a vampire slaveowner. I think. I think you shouldn't do that.

The point is, it becomes increasingly jarring when you see that the main protagonists, the ones who spout the most generic "liberty, equality, fraternity"... are not even French. Maria has Russian origins, and as I've shown she seems to be doing well. Richter is a Romanian who grew up in the US. Annette, who gets to make a super epic speech about freedom, is a runaway from Saint-Domingue. Edouard is a rich opera singer, also from Saint-Domingue.

Oh, Annette.

You know, I want to say something. I'd have much more patience for her abrasive, ungrateful, condescending behavior, I'd justify it as a result of her trauma, if it weren't for how mean-spirited she is and for how no one seems to even react to her.

bruh.

You did that, huh. Richter has been nothing but kind and supportive to you, relating to the loss of your friend and of your mother - this isn't a Trevor situation where you can fall for what the story tells you and believe he's actually rude, no, Richter is on-screen a very nice guy! And you say that? To his face? After he revealed to you that the Belmonts used to do magic but he can't because he lost his mom? Something you should know how devastating it feels? And you THROW THAT TO HIS FACE??

Richter is the one who gasps, by the way. Maria and Tera over there? Nah they're just eating popcorn as this stranger is deliberately hitting Richter where it hurts the most. Thanks girls.

Oh but she's not done!

I know what this is. Look at her, the Stronk former slave who suffered Hardships which inherently makes her more Mature and World Wise, looking down on the two white French people who obviously had it so easy in their lives.

Hey, Ms. Adult. Who's the one who lost control of her powers, leading to Edouard becoming a Night Creature? Richter is too nice to throw that in your face. I'm not :)

Hey, Ms. I Suffered More Than You. Who's the one who only managed to save herself from the plantation only due to magical god-inherited powers? Which is also incredibly insensitive to the real-life slaves who managed to escape with nothing more but human skills and intellect?

Hey, Ms. I'm More Mature Than You Whiteys. Who's the one who needed the help of a rich half-white man to be protected? Not that you even know the concept of being grateful.

Uh, and Tera? You mind chiming in? You mind defending your daughter and your adopted son from this stranger who keeps being rude and disrespectful? No? Okay. She just suggests how to save Edouard, but lets Annette's words slide. You and Lisa can compete for the title of Mom of the Year.

Oh, but this is not a sexism or racism issue. This is literally the same thing as Alucard in S2 being the biggest hypercunt to Trevor, making fun of his traumatic childhood, cruelly mocking his family and his legacy, and treating him like he's nothing more than a failure of a drunkard when the dude has been nothing but a help in fights and gave them access to the vast Belmont Hold... and Sypha always rushed in Alucard's defense because boohoo his depression is an icy well of sadness, he Suffered More Than You!

This is just the writers shitting on the Belmonts, and I am sick of it. Trevor did not deserve this, and Richter doesn't deserve this.

Anyway, characters. I have little to say. Richter is the best one, being reasonably cocky as you would expect from him; not to an insufferable degree, just yeah he comes off as an immature young man who needs to grow up. I like him. Maria is a parody of teens on Twitter talking about seizing the means of production, and I kind of forget she's there. Annette, yeah :) Edouard got retroactively characterized after his death, but I still don't know how to describe his personality beyond "helpful" and "source of infodumps". Tera exists. The abbot is profoundly stupid for allying himself with vampires for the sake of crushing the "Godless" Revolution (there's an N!Hector joke to make here but it's not worth it). Drolta is basically Isaac who slapped a pair of tits on himself and just like that she's a beloved slay queen icon. Templar Agent Stone Mizrak is mere bara bait so far. Olrox... well, so far he's mildly intriguing for being outside of the hero/villain dichotomy. Kind of a tryhard, though, and I still don't know why he didn't just kill Richter.

My last complaint is that it's really boring how they hype up Sun Thundercat as this harbinger of DEATH AND SUFFERING AND PAIN AND TERROR way before we even see her. It reminds me of Alucard exposing how a world without humans would be: just this empty, edgy narration with nothing to show for it. But at least by then we had a taste of Dracula's anger and powers, so this is even worse. You need to try harder to build up an antagonist.

and finally, have the best moment in the whole franchise

BUT, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[imaginesandbandfiction]

Story of Our Life

A Harry Styles Imagine

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: None

A/N: This is something a little different that was inspired by a dream I had where I was singing Story of My Life with 1D in a car... Also, I made some cover art on procreate plz don't judge my mediocre art skills lmao. Hope you like it!!!!!

Masterlist

Excerpts from

STORY OF OUR LIFE

by 

Y/N Styles

To Louis, the best chauffeur I’ve ever had.

To Liam, who keeps us all sane. Steady on, mate.

To Zayn, who always offers a shoulder to cry on (and a cigarette).

To Niall, the king of late-night chats (and snacks).

To Harry, for everything, forever.

Introduction by Harry Styles

Before she was my wife, Y/N Styles was Y/N Y/L/N. We met in 2011, six months before we would be setting out on the Up All Night tour. Even though I had been on TV, in recording studios, and performed live on the X Factor Live Tour 2011, I was still just a shy kid from Holmes Chapel who couldn’t quite believe his luck. I think I spent that whole year in a state of disbelief, afraid that at any moment, someone would tell me that it was all a joke and I wasn’t very good at singing, actually. Every time I took a shower, I half-expected Ashton Kutcher to jump out at me from behind the shower curtain. Y/N, on the other hand, walked into the conference room at Columbia Records, sat down at the head of the table, folded her arms across her chest, and asked us each, individually, if we had read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and, if so, how did we feel about it? Immediately, I knew that this girl was going to be someone special.

Her dad, Greg Y/L/N, was going to be our tour manager. When it was time for the label to put a team together, he was at the top of the list: a goofy dad with a daughter around our age who had toured with some of the biggest musicians of the 90s. He was the perfect choice for a bunch of kids who didn’t really know what they were doing: industry experience to make sure the day-to-day operations went smoothly, and the paternal instinct to protect us as best he could (we called him Papa Bear, which he pretended to hate, but we all knew he secretly loved it). 

We grew up together, spent months on end traveling the world, learning algebra on private planes and sneaking out of hotel rooms to wander foreign cities in the middle of the night. Fast forward to today. While Y/N was pregnant with Willa, our second child, she spent the whole third trimester on bed rest. Eventually, she got so bored that she scrolled all the way back on iCloud. Our older daughter, Hazel, was fascinated by the pictures of me and the band, and Y/N spent hours recounting our days on tour. I told her that she should write a book, but she refused at first. We have enough money, she said. People will think I’m making a cash grab. I told her that was bollocks, but if she really felt that way, she could donate all the profits to charity. It’s perfect, really, I said. The 20-year anniversary of One Direction is coming up, and it would be cool to give the fans a peek behind the scenes. Really, there’s no one better than you, darling, because you know the real us. She agreed, but only if all five of us were okay with it, and if all of the proceeds could go to The Trevor Project. So really, it’s actually me you should be thanking for convincing her to do this in the first place.

Anyways, here it is. The Story of Our Life: Growing Up With the World’s Biggest Boy Band, written by my amazing wife, Y/N Styles. 

Chapter 5

Out of all the One Direction boys, Louis was the first one to get his driver's license in America. He spent the few months leading up to the Where We Are tour with his girlfriend in California, and wanted to buy a fancy car to drive her around in. Hence, the license. So, when the tour made its way to North America, he somehow managed to convince my dad and the security team to let him drive us from the hotel to the venue a few times. Of course, the windows were tinted (and we were not allowed to open them), we were surrounded by a security detail, and there was always a bodyguard in the backseat, but it didn’t matter. 

On the night of the second show in Detroit, we all piled into a tricked-out Toyota Sienna, the best minivan on the market in 2011. Louis and Liam sat up front, I was squished between Harry and Niall in the middle, and Zayn and the bodyguard sat in the way back. We had the radio blasting and were singing along to some absolute bangers, like Party Rock Anthem and Super Bass, when the first few notes of Story of My Life started playing. Louis groaned and reached over to change the station, but I leaned forwards and slapped his hand out of the way before he could, turning the volume up a few notches. 

“Written in these walls are the stories that I can’t explain,” I sang along with Harry’s voice, turning to look at him with a mischievous smirk. He was mouthing along but bit his lip as soon as I caught him. Liam piped up with his part and I shook my head, laughing. 

“Do you guys seriously only ever sing your parts?” I asked. Next to me, I felt Niall shrug. 

“Feels wrong to sing someone else’s, even off stage,” he said, before chiming in on the background vocals as Zayn jumped in on his part. 

“Well, you should do it anyway, just for fun.” Liam turns around and lifts his eyebrows in a silent challenge. Harry and Niall jumped in, and soon we were all belting out the words to every part.

When the final chorus came up, I turned to rest my head on Harry’s shoulder, singing his part back to him. He was usually the shameless one, but his cheeks were tinted pink and he stopped singing for a few seconds. His green eyes were wide, but they never once left my own. I felt his chest rise and fall in a deep, steadying breath before he began singing again. 

From that moment on, Story of My Life was our song. Every time they performed it, he turned towards the side of the stage during the last chorus, where I sang along. On the rare occasions that I sat in the audience, his eyes always managed to find mine. We sang lines to each other all the time. Our favorite thing to do, much to everyone else’s dismay, was yell Zayn’s pre-chorus to each other from across a room. 

“And I’ll be gone, gone, tonight,” one of us would start. 

“The ground beneath my feet is open wide,” the other would respond. 

“The way that I’ve been holding on too tight,” the first person would say, before we both shouted, “With nothing in betweeeeeeeen!” That line was always the loudest, and we always dragged out the last syllable until we couldn’t breathe anymore. 

Chapter 9

When Harry’s solo album dropped, I was in class, taking my Algebra 101 final. My test-taking nerves were multiplied tenfold by the fact that I knew people were listening to it right now, and I wasn’t. We had kept in touch after One Direction broke up, mostly over text but occasionally, when he was in LA, he came to my house to have dinner with me and my Grandma (and Dad, if he was home).

I listened to it all the way through on the drive back home to Pasadena after I finished my exam, and as soon as I pulled into the driveway, I texted him. 

I signed up for a presale code, and refreshed my laptop continuously for five straight minutes in order to get tickets for his LA show. Harry was furious with me. When I texted him that I was officially coming to the show, he called me in the middle of a meeting with his tour team to yell at me. Something along the lines of, “I put you on the VIP list, you dumbass! And invites to the afterparty were just sent out yesterday!”

To be fair, I just wanted to support my friend, and to this day I still feel uncomfortable asking for free tickets from anyone when I have the means to pay for them. I think it’s all the guilt from five years of attending One Direction concerts for free. But anyways, that next fall, I found myself backstage at the Greek Theater with a VIP badge around my neck, feeling intense deja vu as security led me to Harry’s dressing room. 

“Y/N!” He yelled as soon as the door opened. I had no time to react; I was nearly knocked over by the force of his hug. His mom and sister were there, too, and I was passed around for more hugs before settling next to Harry on the couch. 

“So, how’s it going? How’s school?” he asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. That’s one of the things I love most about Harry; no matter how long it’s been since he’s seen someone, he always picks back up like no time has passed. He is scary good at keeping up with what everyone else is doing, even when his own life 

“Kicking my ass already and it’s only been three weeks,” I said with a chuckle. “But better than last year, that’s for sure!” Harry’s brows furrowed and he waited expectantly. “Did I not tell you that my original roommate was psycho?”

“No, I don’t think that’s come up before.” I pulled up a photo on my phone and handed it over to him without a word, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen his eyes wider than they were in that moment. 

“Holy shit,” she said.

“I wanna see!” Gemma whined, leaning across the coffee table to snatch the phone from him. “Oh my god, Mum, look!” She handed the phone to Anne, who frowned down at it. 

“This was your dorm?”

“For all of three days, yes,” you answered. “I’m not sure what creeped me out more, the life-sized cardboard cutout of Harry watching my every move, or the fact that she threatened to blackmail me if I didn’t introduce her to you.” Harry was doubled over with laughter with tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. 

“What are the chances of you, of all people, rooming with a crazy One Direction fan in college?” he asked, struggling to breathe enough to support his vocal chords. 

“The school investigated and they found an invoice for a private investigator on her computer in a folder with a bunch of my personal information and photos of me that looked like they were taken from behind bushes and trash cans. Apparently, she gave him that paparazzi photo from the week we were in London during On the Road Again and he was able to track me down.”

“He was able to figure out your identity from that photo?” I nodded, and Harry looked impressed, yet mildly disturbed. “She must’ve paid a fortune.” The photo in question features all five members of One Direction on their way into the O2 arena, and in the background, you can see the blurry back of my head as I slipped into the back door ahead of them.

When it was time for Harry to get ready, a security guard led Anne, Gemma, and I to the VIP section and we settled in for the show. He killed it on stage, and it was great to see him back in his element, joking with the fans between songs and waving to everyone he made eye contact with. He performed What Makes You Beautiful and the cheers were so loud, even in the small-theater setting, that I knew I would probably have trouble hearing tomorrow. 

“Alright, now normally I’d go straight into Kiwi, but there’s someone special in the audience today and this next song means a lot to the both of us, and she was the one who told me to sing all of the parts even though it feels weird, I hope you’ll forgive me for making you wait a few more minutes,” he said with a smirk, knowing that no one was going to complain about an extra song. My smile widened and Anne wrapped an arm around me, squeezing my shoulder, to acknowledge how special this moment was about to be. Just like old times, Harry looked straight at me as the intro music started to play. 

“Written in these walls are the stories that I can’t explain,” he began, and immediately tears started welling up behind my eyes. I joined in, leaning my head on Anne’s shoulder for support. When he got to the second pre-chorus, he yelled out “And I’ll be gone, gone, tonight!” and held out his mic for the audience to sing the next line, but I caught an almost-imperceptible wink as he smiled up at me and I knew that he could care less if anyone else chimed in.

“The fire beneath my feet is burning bright,” Anne, Gemma, and I screamed, hoping that we were loud enough for him to pick our voices out of the crowd. 

He sang the next line, and so did the audience, but I kept my mouth shut and joined in on the last line. He dragged out “between” so long that he had to jump back in on “I take her home.” I was the only one still singing along with him at that point, and the audience let out confused laughter, looking back and forth trying to figure out why he wasn’t moving on yet. 

Chapter 11

We’ve never talked about how we got together, and once the gossip magazines found out that I was the daughter of One Direction’s former tour manager, they just filled in the blanks themselves. I try not to read those things, but I do remember seeing a few headlines like “CHILDHOOD SWEETHEARTS RECONNECTED!” over that grainy paparazzi photo of us in Holmes Chapel before the Manchester Love on Tour stops. Others spun the fact that I was doing PR on the tour into a fake “HARRY STYLES KISSES EMPLOYEE” scandal, and it just spiraled out of control from there. But I’m getting ahead of myself. 

When the pandemic hit, I was at home in Pasadena with my dad and grandma. We had no other “bubble” because my grandma was immunocompromised. Needless to say, I got very bored very quickly. It got to the point that I would cycle through the contacts on my phone, Facetiming everyone in alphabetical order by last name until someone picked up. Harry was one of the only people who answered every single time. We ended up calling each other almost every day, sometimes to chat, or just to have someone there, in the background, while we went about our days. He was with his band, working on what would eventually become Harry’s House, and I spent many days listening to them work through different lyric and melody combinations while curled up in my childhood bedroom with my work laptop. He even interrupted a Zoom meeting I was in, once, excited to play part of “Music for a Sushi Restaurant” for me.

I was working remotely for a PR firm, after graduating college in 2020, my options were limited and, in the end, the place only gave me an offer because they worked with Columbia Records and knew my dad. I mostly wrote copy about movies to be put on Wikipedia or IMDB, which was super boring, so Harry seriously saved my life by letting me listen in on his studio sessions, or to the audio of whatever show he was watching and his commentary. 

By the time he was able to start prepping for Love on Tour, I was working at the firm’s office building on Sunset,  just about ready to quit my job and sell foot pics online. 

“Come on tour with me,” he said, (seemingly) impulsively, during one of our Facetime sessions in which he patiently listened to me complain about how Mark from accounting wouldn’t stop coming over to my desk to “chat” every hour on the hour. 

“What?” I answered, laughing a little. 

“Seriously, Y/N, it’ll be just like old times! We can race on the dolleys they use to bring the speakers in, and I’ll even let you win this time.” I rolled my eyes.

“It’s not really winning, then, is it?”

“Okay, fine, I won’t let you win. But I am serious, Y/N. You should join me on tour.”

“What am I supposed to do, just follow you around the world like some sad, desperate groupie?”

“I mean, you are a bit sad and desperate.” I flipped him off, to which he responded by cackling with laughter. 

“I’m sad because my job sucks, and desperate to get away from Mark, not to get into your pants.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be my mistress, you’d be doing PR for the tour, obviously.” Harry’s cheeks flushed with the slightest hint of pink, 

“Well, maybe you should have led with that!” I started laughing, too, and it took a while for either of us to be able to speak again. 

“Okay, sorry, I’ll start over.” He took a deep breath to calm his giggles, but still couldn’t manage to keep a straight face. “Y/N Y/L/N, I would like to formally request that you join me as my PR Manager for Love on Tour. My publicist is about to give birth, like, any day now so she obviously can’t go gallivanting around the world. Really, you’d be doing me a favor, and who better than someone who already has my dressing room requests memorized since half of them are actually yours.” 

“You still have the same dressing room requests?” I gave him a skeptical look. 

“Old habits die hard.” He shrugged. “And even though I don’t drink Diet Coke, having it in the fridge makes it feel like you’re there with me.” The pink was now red and I bit my lip to keep myself from smiling too wide. 

“Alright, Mr. Styles, you have a deal.”

Like he said, old habits die hard, so even though we were now adults and my dad wasn’t on tour with us, we still fell into our old routines. Back in the day, I was never allowed to be alone in a room with one of the boys, but we had our ways around it. Usually by walking through the hallways of the floor of the hotel everyone was staying on, checking in with the guards stationed at either side on every loop. So while we could have hung out in our rooms, more often than not, we walked through the hotel hallways in circles just like we used to. 

The night before the Pittsburgh show, Harry showed up at my door at 10pm with a bag of sour gummy worms. 

“It’s not Haribo, but it’s close enough,” he said with a shrug, flashing me his trademark “Harry Styles” grin. And just like that, we were off to wear a hole in the carpet, or so I thought. We hadn’t even made it through one full loop before he pulled me through a random door marked “Employees Only” and dragged me up three flights of stairs. 

“Are you taking me somewhere private so you can murder me?” I asked as we trudged through the dirty stairwell. 

“Something like that,” he answered. But when we reached the top, he opened another door and we were on the roof. 

The view was gorgeous, the moon was bright and cast a cool glow on the Pittsburgh skyline. I turned to Harry with wide eyes.

“Scoped it out earlier,” he said with a sheepish smile on his lips. “Just thought we could use a change of scenery.”

“It’s perfect,” I said, reaching out to squeeze his hand in thanks. “As much as I love hotel hallways, this is better.”

We sat on the edge of the roof, dangling our legs over the top of the building next door, and passed the bag of gummy worms back and forth as we talked. We were out there for so long that my eyelids started to get heavy and our conversation slowed down. I leaned my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me, huddling closer for warmth (or so I thought). 

“Wanna listen to some music?” He asked. I nodded and he pulled his Airpods out, sticking one in my ear and the other in his own. 

Story of My Life started playing and my heart rate sped up, pulsing adrenaline through my body. Suddenly, I was wide awake and hyper aware of every place our bodies were touching (thighs, hips, my shoulder to his chest, his shoulder to my head, his arm on my bicep). 

I lifted my head up and turned to look at him.

“Do you ever get sick of this song?” I asked. My voice was quiet because I wasn’t sure I actually wanted to know the answer. 

“No,” he replied. His voice was low and raspy and it made my stomach flutter. I felt myself leaning in, unconsciously, as he continued. “It reminds me of you, and I could never get sick of you.” 

He brought his free hand up to my face and rubbed his thumb in soft circles on my cheekbone, and his eyes flickered down to my lips. The distance between us closed as if we were replaying something that had already happened in slow motion. Eventually, I could just barely feel the soft brush of his lips against mine. My mouth fell open just a bit in anticipation of what was to come, but Harry paused. 

“It’s you, Y/N,” he whispered.”It’s always been you.”

Feel free to cross my name out and write in your own, I won’t be mad. I get it; what really happened was better than any self-insert fanfiction.

Chapter 17

I’m going to keep most of the details of our wedding private, but I will tell you about our first dance, because it ties into a lot of the other stories that I’ve written about. If you haven’t noticed by now, Story of My Life is sort of the underlying theme of this book, and that’s because it’s been the underlying theme of my life, the soundtrack to my relationship with Harry. 

After dinner, and some absolutely mental toasts, Harry and I were eager to get the party started. Even though he’s not the best dancer, I have never met anyone who dances with as much joy as Harry does, and I love getting pulled into his wild, spontaneous routines. But our first dance was different. The fairy lights surrounding the garden were twinkling in the moonlight, and Niall, Liam, Louis, and Zayn stood on the sidelines to sing, you guessed it, Story of My Life. We swayed in circles, gently, without trying to put on a show or impress anyone else. It was a beautiful, full circle moment, and the boys even dragged out “between” just a little bit to tease us. 

Life is funny. One minute, you’re sixteen and screaming “The fire beneath my feet is burning bright,” at your best friend and you think that this is it, you will be touring the world with your friends forever, and the next you’re twenty-seven and in a wedding dress, leaving mascara stains on the shoulder of his suit. But I wouldn’t change a thing, because I think it was written in the walls all along. 

[writingpei]

wicked games (l.m.) - chapter twelve

previous chapter series masterlist next chapter

pairing: lee minho x reader genre: academic rivals to lovers wc: 2.5k words

i'm looking through you

when you're rich and influential, you learn to live a life where everything always goes your way, and minho knew that from a very young age. that's why he didn't worry so much about dropping out of the student president contest, because he knew his father would do anything to put him back in the place he wanted.

when minho was alerted that there was a new rule in place that made the second most voted candidate vice president of the student council, he knew his father had rushed to make up for his action, but minho wasn't really complaining about it.

he would have more time to annoy y/n now anyway.

in fact, he had time right now! skipping through the halls as soon as the bell rang, excitement palpable in his body as he worried to find her in the middle of the sea of ​​students to break the news and see that hateful expression she always got when he said something she didn't wanted to hear.

however, something changed inside him as soon as he saw her walking away, her back turned to him as she escaped his presence, leaving him for the other boy. what seemed to bubbling in minho's stomach the most was that she didn't seem at all bothered by hyunjin's presence, but not that he would admit that her lack of attention genuinely got to him that much.

so when he walked into the school, he tried to put his thoughts that were flying back and forth in his head in place and understand why his fists were clenched tightly, and his feet were tapping against the hallway floor.

yongbok, however, understood the reason as soon as minho sat next to him on the bench in the middle of the garden.

"what happened?" yongbok asks his friend who had his eyes glued to the ground, a permanent frown staining his features, but already knowing exactly what it was about.

“she left me talking by myself!” he explodes, throwing his arms to the side to show his displeasure. “she didn’t even want to hear me because he was telling her to go with hm. do you believe in such a thing?”

“why are you so upset?” yongbok was a passive spectator to the push and pull that is the relationship between the two, but as the years passed and minho's ignorance only grew, he opted for a different approach: he would drop hints, little shocks to try to open his eyes so that he could understand for himself what he really thought about her and why he cared so much. “why does it matter so much to you?”

“because…” he paused for a few seconds and crossed his arms in a tantrum. “because she didn't pay attention to what i was saying, and i hate when people don't pay attention to me” his gaze went up to look at his friend for the first time since he sat down, and yongbok's knowing look took away some of his stability . “it's not just about her, actually it's not about her at all. i just don't like to be ignored"

if there was one thing yongbok knew about minho it was that - surprisingly - he wasn't stupid. but if there was one thing he knew about minho more than anyone else, it was his ability to manipulate himself. yongbok knew that was what he did to protect himself, to keep his walls structured, and mainly to keep himself sane. minho was always on edge, one step forward and he fell off the cliff. if his pulsating pride had blocked any idea of ​​realizing the love he felt for the girl, maybe it was for the best.

if he was already crazy about her without knowing it, one could only imagine the damage it would be if he knew.

maybe it was for the best, but not for the peace of mind of yongbok who would have to endure this torture for decades more, and he couldn't give a shit about the well being of humanity at this point.

“i didn't say anything about her in first place” yongbok says with a little smile on his face like the ones he gives once he wins his stupid cellphone game. "are you sure it's not about her?"

"obviously! it's almost offensive that you think i'm angry about her. i'm the one who gets reactions from the other in this relationship” he retorts defensively, but his friend's smile only grows wider.

"relationship?"

minho feels a heat that goes from his neck to his ears at the playful tone that comes out of yongbok's mouth. he is never embarrassed when he sees his name in first place in the huge ranking in front of the entrance to the school, much less when he is going to talk to one of the most beautiful girls he has ever seen in his life, which is why he refuses to believe that park y/n would do it without even being around.

“ah yongbok, don't bother me. that was the way of saying it” he waves his hand for his friend to leave him alone and presses his crossed arms more tightly against his chest, as if if he pushed too hard, he would be consumed inside himself.

“you should pay me for being your psychologist for so many years” is the only answer she gets from him, in a velvety voice full of humor, indicating that his smile still hovers intact over his face. “try to find out for yourself then”

if there was one thing minho knew about himself it was that - surprisingly - he wasn't stupid. the problem is that the nights he lay awake rolling around in bed weren't enough to make him figure out what the hell yongbok wanted him to figure out on his own.

“it's not fair” he complained one morning. “you can't give me a riddle without half the clues and expect me to solve it. i know that my intelligence is gigantic, but that makes it difficult even for me”

“but you have the clues” yongbok replied, sipping his juice. “just look inside yourself for a bit”

but he had no idea.

he was fixated on the joy he felt getting the girl out of her mind, getting reactions out of her and making her heart beat faster with anger just by imagining his face.

but when he saw her with the blond boy, he was the one who felt strange, as if an anger rose from his chest to his thoughts, taking over his senses and destabilizing his calm.

it just so happened that the more he thought about these things, the less the idea that he just wanted to gain the gratification of drawing her attention to himself left his head. he was pretty sure that was it, there was no other reason for him to bond with her anyway. her personality was insufferable, she was like a fun inhibitor, her face always closed and lifeless, the books that piled up on her desk during classes weren't really an attraction for him. her stupid hair, lips that never bloomed into a genuine smile over anything but the feeling of superiority, hands that wrote delicately on paper and her floral scent that invaded his senses every time he crossed paths with her. minho hated it all.

he hated her.

but he needed to find her. too many days had passed since the day she'd turned her back on him, and he still had to rub it in her face that he'd won the vice president position.

it was lunchtime, but she wasn't in the sea of ​​people scattered around the tables. he would recognize her anywhere.

his steps however were towards the only person he, unfortunately, thought knew her whereabouts. the blond locks drew attention and it didn't take long for his confident steps to take him to the table full of jocks from the school's basketball team.

“oh, it's lee minho” he heard a whisper coming from one of them, but he just rolled his eyes and put his hands in his pocket, waiting for hyunjin to turn to him.

when the boy did, his mouth was full of food and his eyes widened in mild surprise.

“oh, hi man” he said as soon as he swallowed.

“where is y/n?” he got straight to the point. he had no desire to chat with hyunjin. he didn't know if it was his face, but something about him made him travel to that bad and inexplicable feeling he felt the last time he saw him.

“um…” he looks around the table and when he notices that very few of his friends are paying attention to the conversation, he responds very quietly as if he is telling a secret. “she wouldn’t like it if you asked me so loudly about her in the middle of so many people”

“i piss her off enough already,” minho replies, a snarky smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“oh” hyunjin replies, eyeing him warily for a few seconds. "the last time i saw her, i think she was on her way to the library, but i don't know if-"

minho immediately turns around, leaving the boy behind with a confused and slightly offended expression on his delicate face.

“i didn't even get to finish speaking…”

minho takes big steps toward the library. if she was there, it would be perfect timing, as all the students were having lunch and it would be empty.

he enters slowl into the large room that was consumed by total silence. he couldn't see anyone there, not even the librarian. he began to think she wasn't even there, but as soon as he heard the short, silent footsteps against the wooden floor coming from the bookshelves area, he slipped inside and did his best not to make a sound, walking over to where she was.

he entered a hallway of bookshelves, walking between them with enormous caution. his eyes traveled from title to title, spine to spine, fingers tentatively sliding across them.

until he sees her through a small gap between the shelves of the bookcase, on the other side.

a few books are hugged against her torso, eyes quick and hard as a hawk perusing the title of every book in front of her. she hadn't seen him yet, and minho found himself so interested in her purely natural posture that he unconsciously moves closer to the crack, wanting to get closer, wanting to understand her better.

her hair is tied up today, which is unusual. the skin on her neck is showing, and for some reason, his eyes linger more than usual in that area. when he realizes what he's doing, he takes a step back as if he's been slapped, and the sudden movement seems to draw the girl's attention, who looks directly at him, also through the gap.

“you freak me out, you know?” her voice dominates the entire room, even if it's low. minho doesn't understand why, but the echo of her words in such a large place didn't sound horrible in his ears. “that’s some really weird behavior. following me and watching me? you should be reported”

“following you and watching you? oh, flatter yourself, i only came here to ruin your day” he says, but feels something warm in his chest at being caught in such a compromising position.

“whatever i say is not going to shut you up, whatever you say is not going to matter to me at all, so there is no point” she says, fishing one last book off the shelf and walking towards the front door.

“you said i would have many other opportunities to try and drive you mad when you left me for him” he says, walking up to her.

she stops and turns to him slowly, a puzzled look on her face.

“left you for him?” she repeats, confused, but minho just nods once he's right in front of her. “don’t say things like that, minho, it’s disgusting”

when she turns to go on her way, an urge rises inside minho. he didn't want to see her leave without him having told her everything he wanted to say to her, he didn't want her to leave without the satisfaction of knowing that his image would be in her head for a long time after a simple futile exchange of words, even if fueled by hatred. because of that, his hand suddenly grabs her wrist from the arm that was free of the books and turns her towards him once more, in an exasperation to return to her field of vision as if his life depended on it.

y/n is taken aback like every time his strangely soft hand came into contact with her body, but with the amount of things she carried in her other arm, she lacked the strength to even try to remove her arm from his touch.

minho is already okay with touching her when he feels it's necessary. now, the contact no longer made his face heat up strangely like before, but it had become almost like an odd need when he saw her.

they lock eyes and they can feel their breathing getting heavier. y/n is strangely at a loss for words to use against him, her cards up her sleeve. for some reason, and she would never admit it out loud, the sight of him in front of her didn't trigger the feeling of disgust as strong as it normally felt, in fact, the heat of his touch had risen through her entire body and taken over her head, causing a mild and unknown dizziness.

after a few seconds of never-before-experienced closeness and overwhelming silence, minho struggles to get the words out of his throat.

“i…” he starts but falters slightly after noticing how intense her gaze is on him, alert. “i've wanted to tell you since that day i got promoted to vice president of the student council because i was second place” when he says this, it seems like she's snapped out of a trance, and the strength to tear her arm away from his touch finally pops up.

the look of surprise was taken over by a palpable anger and he realizes it as soon as she takes a step back, distancing herself from him as if he had shocked her.

"what?" she asks, a bitter taste in her throat.

minho wasn't enjoying this as much as he thought he would. oddly enough, the silence of previously unknown intimacy was far more preferable for some reason he couldn't quite put into words.

his shoulders slumped in inexplicable dismay, and the expression of annoyance on her face made his voice even more timid and withdrawn as he said "i hope we work well together, prez" before he hurried out of the library and leave her alone there.

stay tuned for chapter 13! new chapters every sunday ☆

taglist: @liphglos@kiyoomimybeloved@lilactangerine @swiftlydirectioning @lethallyprotected @yhawnnzz @whatthefsposts@sleepyleeji @ddazed-lhs @thatoneperson1911 (if you want to be a part of the taglist, send me an ask, comment or message <3)

[gingery-juniper]

PERSONAL BLABBER TIME

-long personal ramble ahead-

I don't really post personal stuff here, but there's no other platform I feel safe sharing. I don't really share a lot personal stuff online anyway, but I'm really excited about this and I'm just dying to get it all out and share my excitement with someone.

Like

Orange-cat zoomies excited.

🐈[nyoom]🐈

I've been afraid to open up and unmask for so long, but this is the one place I feel like I can be open about who I am. I don't care if anyone actually reads it, I just want to vent it out.

I'm about to start taking T (testosterone)!!!

I am AFAB and non-binary, and now trans-masc.

I've always hated the body I was born with since I was a kid, but never quite knew why. I was raised in a very conservative Christian household that strongly condemned anything outside the "norm". I was raised to be a "good submissive wife"

That never sat right with me, even as a religiously brainwashed kid. And now I understand why. Not just the creepy religious aspect (that's a whole 'nother deal), but that I was never supposed to be a woman.

I knew something was different about me ever since middle school, but I didn't have the experience or exposure to know why I felt wrong in my own body. I was a tomboy I guess, but it was more than that. I my autistic ass always hyperfixated on male fictional characters. Everyone always assumed I had a crush on them, but no, I wanted to BE those male characters.

I spent so many years thinking maybe if I was more perfectly feminine I'd be happy, starving myself to be ~pretty~ and accepted by my family and peers. That didn't do shit and just made me deeply and harmfully depressed and more confused.

I spent so many years "believing" gender and sexuality was a strict "good vs evil" thing. Even daring! to think of deviating from being cis or hetero (those terms are evil and "woke" btw /s) was an abomination. Anyone at all queer (definitely used as a slur by them) was going straight to hell.

I feel sick knowing I used to believe that.

Well, I didn't really believe it. It didn't make sense to me, but I was conditioned to think that way (for fear of punishment) so I went along with it. But it didn't make sense and confused me when I started to meet and make LGBTQ friends in high school and at my first job. They were such amazing people. I couldn't figure out how they were possibly "evil".

I'm so angry it took so long for me to finally break out of that brainwashed mindset and start thinking clearly for myself.

10 years later, after a long time away from my parents/family, it's all making sense. The egg has cracked.

I've since found the LGBTQA+ community and have never felt more accepted and understood. This is where I have always belonged and I'm so grateful to have made it this far to realize that.

I was making formal plans to off myself a few years ago (many factors involved), but seeing some of the things people posted here made me realize that I'm not broken and not worthless and helped inspire me to live.

Over the last few years (and yeah honestly tumblr has been an incredible learning and supportive community resource) I have come such a long way in my personal journey. I am learning who I am now.

I had top surgery earlier this year and it's the best decision I've ever made. I've never been happier in my life.

Somehow my family hasn't noticed.

Now I'm going to start T.

My family won't take kindly to this change. They are very homophobic and especially transphobic. But I'm no longer interested in being palatable to keep them comfortable. I am going to be me whether they like it or not.

For the first time in my life, that I can say with confidence, I want to live.

I am asexual.

I am aromantic.

I am non-binary.

I am trans.

I am queer.

[i5hiez]

WARNING: mature themes ahead such as yandere!behavior, mentions of murder, violence as well as supernatural beings. I do not condone any of the actions below nor do I believe that they should be portrayed in real life

Welcome to my account! To get you started, here is a list of my OCs or original characters! I will be writing about them often in the future:>

k lets begin !~

Lukas: Yan!Killer

• probably dutch or german(haven't decided which yet) which you can definitely tell by his towering build. Lukas is a 6'7 foot man who lurks the woods near the countryside, his terrible past has led him to become who he is now, a merciless killing machine!

• unlike other serial killers, he keeps a low profile to avoid raising suspicion and definitely not because the cops are scared of him or anything!

• luckily he's got a friend who's just fit for the job :D who is definitely not...vegan is all I can say

• both made it seem like there's some type of animal that would prey on unknowing campers and that there was nothing authorities could do but to put up warning signs about an aggressive animal roaming the forest at night to prevent more deaths.

• but what could the police do when some people choose to be ignorant and go anyways? that brings us to the present. You were a sweaty mess, every part of your body was itching, all four limbs fatigued and is overall just downright exhausted.

• you were angry, so angry that tears fell down from your cheeks

• your friend who was leading the way suddenly disappeared from your sight and now you're all alone, hungry and a sobbing mess. It started to dawn on you how you walked into such a dangerous situation. but then maybe it was fate?

• suddenly you hear a twig snap and a few leaves crinkling.

• your sob turned into a wail as it got closer, this is it you're done for! you were going to die here!

• happy memories flooded your mind as you recalled when you were anywhere but here

• so imagine your surprise when you realize that instead of bringing you to your demise, you wake up to what looked like a living room, tied to a chair with a gag on your mouth.

• this "animal" that had been terrorizing the woods turned out to be human!

• "I coudn't help it schatz, you would do the same if you saw that adorable crying face of yours!" Lukas said with a thick accent. He laughs and stops for a while,

• "Again," you furrowed your brows.

• "I want to see it again."

Vlada: Mother Fursona

• standing at 5'5, for a woman in her late 40s, Vlada looked like she hasn't aged at all

• Vlada is a well known and respected woman in your community, someone who always offered help to absolutely anyone who would need it. Her aura was very motherly and she always exuded this loving and warm vibe around her, there really was nothing to hate about Vlada.

• some people say she'd lost her two kids and husband in a fire while others claim that she fled from her abusive husband but nobody really knows where she came from, all they know is that she was a social worker from Austria who decided to retire at your small town which was quite far from civilization.

• the place was pretty remote and everywhere you looked was full of trees, nonetheless it was quiet and peaceful. Everyone got along and you could understand why someone like her would decide to settle down here.

• until one night, an unfortunate event befell your town. A family of six was brutally murdered and it seemed that whoever it was that broke in was not human at all.

• immediately as if Vlada was expecting this, she ushered every single folk to rush down a very huge bunker under her home that surprisingly was big enough to fit all of the town's populace.

• everyone was there except you who had no idea of the events unfolding, you were woken up by a loud growling coming from outside, with shaking hands you carefully moved your curtains to the side to take a peek at the commotion.

• lo and behold there was Vlada facing a huge creature, back turned against you so you really couldn't see well of it's features.

• you panicked and was about to run and save her when suddenly as if a switch was flipped, the warm, loving and caring Vlada vanished and transformed into what looked like an enormous wolf!

Chico: Yan!Soldier

• don't know how tall yet but one thing's for sure, this dude is definitely buff.

• growing up and being surrounded by constant war between the people, government and rebels does something to you

• which was why Chico joined the military, there he had been taught to protect his country and fellow countrymen and also...to spy on people

• Chico is an excellent sniper, he constantly gets deported and did not have any social life because of this.

• of course he was aware of the life he had to live before enlisting but he didn't know that it was going to be this hard.

• Chico isn't one to make small talk, he didn't have anyone he could call his friends.

• sure there were his comrades but since he's got a nice reputation, some grew envious of him. sometimes he feels that his colleagues are ganging up on him.

• Chico, despite having been accustomed to being alone, had always yearned for someone, anyone that could fill the empty void in his heart.

• eventually it did come on that fated day at their base.

• you and your team were imports sent by Chico's government as medical aid for this mission, you were made aware that it was a very dangerous job but how could you say no when you were going to be generously compensated for?

• "What could go wrong?" You thought, there was going to be soldiers, best of the best, that'll be constantly around you, and it has just recently come to your knowledge that the warzone was a few hundred meters from where you were staying.

• unbeknownst to you, a certain soldier has got the hots for you and with the things he was capable of doing, he is yet to prove you wrong.

[vergess]

Anonymous asked: If vergess is willing to answer I’ve been wondering what Zionism even is I keep hearing conflicting definitions

The reason you're hearing conflicting definitions is, there's two definitions you'll hear in general conversation.

Okay, so like 150 years ago (late 1800s), a guy was like, "Ahem, ahem. While we're inventing nationalism all over europe, I notice that Jews are constantly left out of national identities. What if, since y'all shitheads refure to acknowledge our humanity and shared history in Europe and elsewhere in the world, considering us to be middle eastern immigrants regardless of how long we've lived among you as your neighbors. So!! What if we made a Jewish National State where Jews could live peacefully as a politically influential block, ideally in the Jewish homeland to which we are indigenous, ie, Palestine."

From this, came two very different conclusions.

Most Jews will define Zionism as the Jewish right to self-determination in the Jewish homeland. Which is a fancy way of saying, "there's exactly one place on earth y'all will let Jews live, so let us fucking LIVE there instead of being executed en masse by the Christian European Bootheel."

Of course, one should always remember that while some pre existing tensions were capitalized upon, this remains a case of two indigenous groups (Jews, Palestinians) pitted against each other by colonial powers looking to expel one and hope we would both exterminate each other after other methods of eliminating us had failed.

Anyway.

Most gentiles will define zionism as Jewish Nationalism, and they'll say it in the same tone they say nationalist socialism out of fucking spite, because the concept of an indigenous group repatriating to their homeland is somehow indistinguishable from colonizers destroying indigenous populations.

The problem, of course, is that the Israeli Government uses colonizer techniques like "the enemy is both weak and strong" and "kill all their children" etc, and they use them against other indigenous groups, which very, very much makes it look like the second, shittier definition is "the real one."

However, it's important to remember that just because the Israeli government is doing a genocide or six, that doesn't mean the people in Israel, be they of middle eastern or global descent, are to blame.

Zionism is about the right of the people to self determine.

It is misused by propagandistic elements in the Israeli government to justify huge levels of violence, in a way directly copied from the US's use of racial propaganda.

Which means it's especially effective at confusing and muddying American conversations.

So, to put it another way:

If you want to remain ideologically consistent, and you hate "zionism" you must also hate all other nationalist movements, including and especially, nationalist movements focused on re-empowering and re-homing indigenous peoples.

Just because Israel's government is genocidal does not make all Jews who believe in the right to one day return home safely are also evil.

I hope that clarified things! If not, I am turning anon back on for a few days so you can ask followup questions directly.

[seeminglyseph]

listening to a podcast discuss The Orphanage and it keeps bringing up like. "It's sad enough that they're dead orphans, why are they also disabled??"

And I keep feeling like. I get. technically. that the film being a weird tragic horror film where like everyone dies basically and there's a bunch of like. dead disabled orphan children. which is really like both sad and off-putting in multiple ways in the film like. it prompts the question of 'why?'

but like. part of the point is like 'who are the most vulnerable people in society?' as well as 'who is most frequently villainized in horror movies?' because like. initially in the movie it impression of the disfigured and disabled ghost children is 'these ghosts are evil' because on top of being ghosts, one of them wears a mask to hide a disfigurement. And then the rest of them were murdered because they were very vulnerable and left in the care of someone who actively hated them and wanted to do them harm, and could because of how little disabled orphans like. matter? that sounds callous but like. it's not my perspective I very much mean it in the like. "Less Dead" kind of way. Like how much investigation and stuff gets prioritized. At some point people start feeling like 'they didn't have *that much* of a future anyway, so it's not like the murder is *that much* of a tragedy' and ultimately if you don't have a family to fight on your behalf then like... sucks to suck.

Something that's really terrifying about being disabled is like. if you don't have a community or no one really knows or likes you? like. you're kind of fucked. it's kinda been exemplified by the GoFundMe Healthcare Situation, but like. if you're not popular enough, if you don't have a family to advocate for you or support you, if you don't have people to give you advice, sometimes you just don't get help and you don't get acceptance and you don't get treatment and you don't get safety. But being disabled can also be extremely isolating because people really quickly lose patience for your limitations and for the idea of making accommodations.

I'm not gonna pretend it's always easy to be friends with someone, disabilities are as varied as the days are long and I can only speak from my perspective and I have more comorbidities than I technically even know currently. It makes things difficult for me, let alone people trying to work around me, and not everyone is willing to do that. Some of them suck eggs and some of them just have their own lives they have to prioritize. It's complicated, but it does leave me (and I will assume many other people in similar situations) in a complicated situation where our support network is very small but our need for support is very large.

And many people, through ignorance rather than malice, assume that there are already systems in place that care for people. The argument against larger social care networks aren't necessarily that they think people like me shouldn't have our needs met, they just have always assumed that these systems already exist. They think their taxes already pay for it and everyone is already being cared for and expanding the system is about a desire for overindulgence because they simply do not know what the reality is. They have been taught that if you work hard enough you can stay healthy, and if something happens you will be taken care of because there is some sort of social safety net that will catch you, and only the very few fall through because they failed in some way. That's why advocacy is so important, it's important to know that many disabilities can affect *anyone* at *any time* and the holes in the safety net are much larger than people have been led to believe, and are much easier to fall through. You can do *everything right* and still fall through. Your body can destroy you no matter how "healthy" you are. You can follow every piece of advice your doctor gives you, and be failed because you 'looked too healthy' to get sent in for scans on time. Sometimes working too hard will literally destroy your whole future and there's no one there to help when that happens. But it's important not to treat ignorance like malice because people will shut their ears to hard truth delivered with anger. So sometimes a message has to be tailored to an audience.

This has gotten away from me a bit.. but like. I think what I mean to say is like. sometimes I feel very frustrated. and this is my blog so often this is a place of venting and anger and ranting and stuff. But I do understand like. a majority of people are speaking out of ignorance rather than malice, and have their own troubles they feel overwhelmed by. I often try to tailor conversations personally to where people are at, rather than where I'm at because like. I can't expect everyone to prioritize my problems over theirs, especially if I don't even bother to learn what theirs are. And that's been a problem with some of modern political debate as far as I've seen it, a lot of 'your problems don't matter as much as mine' and everyone immediately gets angry if they're told that. like. universally. No one wants to be told their problems don't matter...

anyway. idk. the point of The Orphanage is that disabled kids without people to protect them are especially vulnerable and often the people who are supposed to protect them fail, and the people who need the most support have the least. And people assume those supports are in place and normal and far more sufficient than they are, and will lash out when that failure is pointed out to them. It's a difficult dance and exhausting, and so many people are lost to it because they don't do it well enough or fit in or fake the dance to a sufficient degree. and it's important to try and become aware of that with grace.