#anyway i guess what it comes down to is a choice between her and my sister. and it wouldve felt impossible a year ago but now its easy

[butchnavi]

aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

[harrysxcarolina]

casually fallin’

b. eilish

warnings: wlw, smut, cussing, under age alcohol consumption, I think that’s it but let me know if there is more

wc: 7.8k

New Years Eve

december 31st, 2020

freshman year

The air was crisp. The moonlight sparkling against the still snow emphasizing the quietness in the air. Breathing in deeply, the cold air tickling your skin, a shiver runs down your spine. Gripping the balcony banister welcoming the cold.

“Please don’t stay out there too long, wouldn’t want you catching a cold.” You hear through the cracked sliding door. Chuckling to yourself you take one last look at the moon before making your way back into the warm room.

“I was just taking in the view. No need to worry.” You respond. Catching your first glance at your best friend definitely not missing her outfit choice of the night. A tight form fitting dress that stopped mid thigh. A slight slit on the right side. Fixating on her curves perfectly. You nod in approval.

“Yeah well you’ve taken in the view every night since the night we first got here. When are you actually gonna go out and partake in the activities made for the view?” Chelsea states, chuckling as she throws her makeup brush in your direction.

“You know what. At least I showed up. You know I hate any type of outdoor activity that involves snow.” You retorted, picking up the brush and placing it down on the bed next to her.

“Hey I’m just impressed you actually left the room during this trip. I guess we have Billie to thank for that.” She jokes as she gives you a suggestive look. A smirk working its way across her face.

“Oh please. What does she have to do with this?” You state as you feel the slight pull in your core at the mere mention of her name. Your cheeks heat up at the memory of the last couple days you’ve spent with Billie that was planned specifically for skiing. Yet the both of you couldn’t be bothered as you both preferred the heat of the fireplace. The warm hot chocolate with mini marshmallows. The coziness of the lodge as it was decorated for the holidays. The lights off the Christmas tree twinkling just right as you sit on the floor next to the fireplace trying to teach her how to play chess.

The tea you would eavesdrop on from the other guest as you both curled up on the leather couches sharing a sugar cookie Billie bought from the hot cocoa stand in the lounge. You both lose yourselves in laughter at some of the gossip you’ve witnessed. You didn’t realize how much time you’ve spent with her. Getting up and making your way to your side of the room you begin to rummage through your bag. Actively trying to avoid the sharp stare coming across the room like daggers from your best friend.

“You couldn’t be more oblivious could you?” Chelsea questions as she shoots up from her spot on the bed and plops down onto yours. “You do realize she gives you the ‘please fuck me’ eyes anytime you guys are in the same room.” She whispers as she makes herself comfortable on the bed.

Eyes growing wide you glance up finally making eye contact. “Oh my god. She definitely does not. Plus we aren’t even sure if she like girls. She’s only ever been with guys.” You state as you hold up a dress for her opinion.

Shaking her head, gently pushing you out of the way she begins her own search through your stash of clothes. “That you know of! All that matters is who her attention is on. News flash. It’s you. It’s always you. The only people who don’t see it are you two. How cliche. Almost like it was written straight from a rom-com.” She finishes with a scoff as she holds up a black dress that reaches mid thigh. “This is it.”

Rolling my eyes, and grabbing the dress. “We are just friends, and even if you don’t believe that I’m not out. Only you know, remember? As far as we know, neither is she. She has given no indication that she wants anything more anyways. Everything has been platonic between us.” Making my way to the bathroom groaning under my breath trying to rid the thoughts of the situation and closing the door slightly.

“You’ve hung out every single day we’ve been on this trip. I heard her telling Ava that the only reason she came on this trip was to talk to you. She chose this school trip over going home to see her family for the holidays. That has to mean something. You can’t tell me otherwise. I think tonight might be the night love bug.” Chelsea states, fully standing her ground. “You totally like her though, right?” She questions causing you to pause your undressing and catch your own reflection in the mirror. You’re quiet for a moment. Processing her words.

You totally like her though, right?

Peaking your head out from the bathroom. Catching eye contact we stay silent.

”You already know that I-“

“No. Don’t start that bullshit. It’s simple. Do. You. Like. Her?” She questions again.

Your bottom lip finding its way between your teeth. Nodding you feel your cheeks heat up for the second time that night.

Chelsea’s contagious laugh fills the room. She falls back onto the bed kicking her feet.

“I fucking knew it bitch.” She yells excitedly. Jumping off the bed and running over to you. Definitely not caring that you are half dressed in the dress that she picked out for tonight.

“What better way than to end the year than to confess your feelings for her?” She asks as she wraps her arms around your shoulders pulling you in close. Her cheek pressed up against yours as you both stared at each other through the mirror. You knew you’d have to come clean eventually. You couldn’t deny the feelings that have started to slowly brew ever since the two of you have begun hanging out. Way before the trip. Your bottom lip once again finds its home between your teeth as you feel the flight of a million butterflies in the pit of your belly.

“Breathe.” She whispers in your ear as the smirk spreads across her face. Her fingers danced across your shoulders as you let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“I’m scared.” You whisper your eyes catching again through the glass.

“We always are.” She states as she lays her head against your shoulder. “You’ll be okay. I know it.”

***

Your grip on Chelsea's hand gets tighter as you both make your way through the sea of people. The smell of sweat and smoke fill the air as the room vibrates from the bass of the speakers. The loud music radiating through the crowd as they all get hyped up for the beat drop. Smirking to yourself you glance around taking in the core memory.

You feel yourself get pulled slightly to the right as you blindly follow Chelsea’s lead. Taking a breath of relief as you see a table of your friends sitting in the back corner of the conference room, the staff has turned the big room into a celebration for the end of the year. The lights decorating the dance floor. The smoke that filters through the air from the fog machine that sat right below the DJ booth. The atmosphere was electric as everyone was ready to start off the new year with a bang.

The room was warm with different bodies as they all danced and mingled together. The rhythm of the music and sways of bodies made butterflies erupt in the pit of your stomach. You weren’t one for parties but tonight’s vibe just hit you differently. Unsure of what the night will unfold. Slightly scared, and definitely nervous you couldn’t wait for it to begin.

Sliding into an open chair at the table you say your hellos to your friends already there. Glancing over at Chelsea you both can’t help but laugh at how chaotic that walkthrough felt. Your eyes make work scanning the room looking for one person in particular.

“Don’t worry, she will be here.” Chelsea half yells in your ear over the music. Smirking and playfully swatting her away you try and hide your face in your hand as you reach for a flute of champagne. Taking a big gulp you lean back in the chair as you begin your people watching as Chelsea sits comfortably beside you chit chatting with a girl you believe you had in your Chem class.

“Well look what the cat drug in. We thought you were beginning to think you were too cool to party with us.” Amanda, the girl Chelsea was speaking with, states as Billie makes her way to the table we were all at. A few of her other friends are close behind. She quickly smirks with a shrug of her shoulders.

“Well I’m here now bitches!” She jokes as she bounces her way into the group.

Making her way around the table greeting each person. Saving you for last.

Smirking down at you you catch her eyes quickly glancing you up and down before she quickly grabs an empty chair and pulls it up beside you. Your knees are just inches apart. You swear you could feel the heat radiating off her body as her dark locks cascaded down her back. Leaning back with a slight tilt of her hips, a few pieces fall to frame her face, she adjusts her pants. It was your turn to glance at her as you take your time working your way up her body. Having no shame. Chelsea was right. Tonight was the night. You were going to confess your feelings. You just had to wait for the right time.

Taking in every detail from the way she matched her socks to the color of her shoelaces to how the jersey she was wearing was slightly cut just low enough that it left a gap big enough to see the black lace trim along her bra any time she would fidget in her seat. Which she has done quite a bit since sitting down just a mere few moments ago. Your mouth watering at the sight. Biting your lip to hold back the whimper that was so desperately trying to escape.

“Hey you,” she states as she leans forward searching for your eyes as a smile spreads across her face. Bashfulness spreads through you as you quickly glance down blushing once again, but this time it claims the entirety of your body and not just your cheeks.

“Hi.” You whisper smiling up at her through your laces.

“Do you maybe wanna get out of here for a few?” She asks as you feel her fingertips tease your exposed skin. Softly leaving her trace around your knee.

Nodding your head you watch her smile grow bigger as she slides her chair back and reaches her hand out towards you. Smirking, you grab her hand and stand up. Leaning over you quickly inform Chelsea of your absence before you feel Billie intertwine her fingers with yours and pull you away.

Chelsea throws you an encouraging smile as she waves you goodbye.

Shaking your head, turning your attention to the heartbeat that is taking over your intertwined fingers as Billie looks back at you with a twinkle of mischief in her eyes. You both pull yourselves closer as the swarm of bodies invade your bubble. Body parts everywhere as you fight your way through. Her body brushes up against yours as your breath hitches. Her hand on your lower back.

“Stay close, mamas. Don’t wanna lose you in this crowd.” She yells into your ear as she pulls you tighter against her as she turns and begins to lead you through the crowd. Her grip on you tightens, finally getting you both through the tight crowd.

Not sure where exactly she is leading you too but you enjoy the tingles at the tips of your fingers caused by the weight of her hand in yours. “Is this okay?” Billie softly asks as she slows her steps and looks over her shoulder at you. Glancing around the empty lodge you nod your head as you lead her to one of the empty couches you’ve grown custom to next to the fireplace. Welcoming the warmth.

“I’m sorry that I drug you away from the party.” Billie whispers as she takes her seat next to you on the couch playing with the silver rings decorating her fingers. Looking over at her without saying a word you carefully tuck a piece of her fallen hair behind her ear. Your fingertips gently brushing against her cheek. Glancing up at you, the realization of what you just did causes your cheeks to get hotter than they ever have before.

“You didn’t drag me anywhere. I followed..” I wanted to. You state as you quickly tuck your hands in your lap looking anywhere other than into her piercing blue eyes. You felt her stare linger as her eyes trace every curve and freckle on your face. Her body scooting just slightly closer to yours. Your legs now fully pressed against each other as her hand slithers its way along the back of the couch. You welcome the heat from her body and the fireplace as you sink further into her and the couch.

You both sit comfortably in silence taking in the last few moments of the year. The lights twinkling off the tree. The soft Christmas carols playing from the radio behind the check-in desk. The hum of excitement leaking out of the conference hall as you hear the five minute warning before the New Year begins. You feel Billie’s fingertips play with the thin strap from your dress. Her fingers tracing up and down your skin causing goosebumps to rise a shiver across your body.

“You know me and my family do this thing every New Year’s Eve where we go around and we all say one wish that we want to receive in the next year. It’s a silly tradition, but my mom makes us do it every year.” You state as you lean towards Billie. Shuffling around to where you both are now face to face. Only inches apart. Your breath catches. Not realizing how close the two of you are now.

Her breath tickles the tip of your nose as she reaches up only to stop herself half way. Breathing deeply you glance up catching her eyes. Her cheeks are flushed. Pieces of hair loosely falling to frame her face. Her bottom lip caught between her teeth. The black eyeliner painted on her underline made her icy blue eyes pop even more. You’d be lying if you didn’t feel the tension in the air. You’ve thought about this moment so many times before. Never actually believing it would happen.

“What’s your wish?’ She breathes as you notice her chains dancing around her neck as she slowly leans forward. Her minty breath invades your senses as her lips just barely brushes yours. If you were to lean in just a smidge your lips would be locked. You hope you aren’t reading the signs wrong. Taking one last breath there’s no turning back now.

“You,” you whisper.

It’s as if time stopped. Your eyes meet one final time. You hear the countdown begin.

10, 9, 8…

You hear her breath catch as her eyes search yours for any hint of dishonesty.

7, 6, 5…

She isn’t going to find any as this time she doesn’t stop her hand from entangling itself into your hair.

4, 3, 2…

Leaning up onto your knees so you are slightly towering over her, your hands tangle themselves into the collar of her jersey pulling her closer as you finally crash your lips against hers.

1

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

The loud echo of fireworks and the yells of excitement are heard all throughout the lodge, but the only thing you can focus on is the feeling of Billie's lips battling against yours as her fingers tangle deeper into your hair falling backwards onto the couch pulling you with her. Your tongue gently traces her bottom lip not missing the way her hips slightly buck up as you slide one of your hands up her side. Taking in the rise and fall of her chest as your lips continue their battle for dominance. Billie’s hands stay firm as one hand is tangled deep into your hair while the other quickly grips your hip. Heads tilting as the kiss gets deeper.

Pulling away slightly to catch your breath and to make sure that this was actually real you feel your heart beating against your chest. Refusing to open your eyes, your hand still tightly gripping Billies' side. Her chest heaving just as hard.

Her hand not giving you the chance to pull away for long before she is chasing your lips. Capturing yours quickly causing a smile to spread across your face. Her face heating up in embarrassment. The kiss lingers as your lips gently tease each other as they softly brush against one another. Slowly pulling apart for the second time that night you stay lying against her as she reaches up and finally tucks the fallen piece of hair behind your ear.

“Happy New Year, mamas” she whispers against your lips as she looks up at you with a coy smirk playing across her face.

A light hum leaves your lips as you return her smile. “Happy New Year Billie.”

“Ah there you two are. We’ve been looking for you.” Amanda screeches as she bounces her way to the sitting area. You quickly climb off Billie and try and collect yourself as you refuse to look in Billies direction. “Sorry. Just needed to step away from the craziness for a moment.” You state as you notice the hurtful sting you caused Billie by removing her hands from your body. Copying your movements she sits up and adjusts her shirt.

“Yeah, sorry. Lost track of time.” She replies standing up off the couch digging her hands deep into her pockets, her eyes not leaving you. Amanda glances between the both of you for a moment. “No worries. The group is waiting back there if you wanna come join us for shots? Heard it's the tradition here for the freshmen.” She jokes as she leads you both back to the group.

Walking back into the craziness of the party you can’t help but begin to overthink everything about the kiss. Was it simply just because it was the new year or did it hold more? Was it the excitement of kissing someone at the stroke of midnight for her? Did you take it too far? You mind wonders as your hand gently brushes up against hers as you shuffle your way through the crowd back to the table. Glancing up your eyes meet, unable to deciever the flash of emotion in Billies eyes you take a deep breath before making the executive decision to say fuck it and start the new year differently than you have before.

Grasping her hand you quickly interlace your fingers with hers not missing a step as you continue to follow Amanda. You felt her squeeze your hand and you couldn’t fight the smile that worked its way across your face. Biting your lip you steal a glance behind you at the dark haired girl who was closely following. Her eyes already on yours. Her smile matches yours as she pauses your movements. Hands still intertwined her other gripping your waist tightly pulling you flush against her. Looking up at you. Her fingers squeeze your side glancing between your eyes and swollen lips.

“Are you going to ask me what my wish is?” She asks over the loud music. People are still dancing around you as if the night was young. Your face lights up in amusement. Reaching up and gently brushing her cheek. Smirking as you not only see but feel the heat rush to her cheeks.

“What is your wish Bils?” You ask shyly, glancing down at your clasped hands gently playing with her rings. Her fingertips tilt your head back to her attention. Her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

“You. It’s always been you.” She declares her stare never faltering.

“You never said anything. I- I never knew. I thought you only saw this as a friendship.” You state as you pull her closer. Her hand sliding across your lower back not letting go of your hand. “I was scared. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t just a crush. This would be my first time- my first time with a girl.” She gulped, dropping her gaze but quickly bringing it back.

“What are you thinking about?” She asks as she searches your face.

“That I really don’t want to take shots with everybody, and that I’d much rather get out of here with you.” You say boldly not missing her lip biting smirk as she looks up at you with flirty eyes.

“Oh yeah?” Her smirk never fails as she spins you around and pulls you towards the door. Slightly running to keep up with her speed walking you couldn’t help that laugh that escaped as she zig zags you through the crowd. Praying that Amanda doesn’t spot you out as you are almost to the door.

“Uh huh not so fast love birds.” Chelsea calls out as you see her leaning up against the door frame holding three shot glasses in her hand.

“I see you took my advice friend,” She continues as you both stand there watching her as she downs one shot. Billie looks over at your questionably raising her eyebrows in interest. You smile before letting go of her hand and taking the few steps to Chelsea. Grabbing one of her shots you clink the glass against hers before downing yours. Chelsea and Billie both stare at you in shock.

“Do us both a favor and spend the night with Amanda? I’m sure Billie won’t mind would you Billie?” You ask Chelsea, glancing over your shoulder at Billie holding out the third and final shot to her. Licking her lips as she checks you out. Making her way towards you grabbing the shot glass and bringing it to her lips. Eyes never leave yours as she tilts her head back downing the shot.

“Not at all.” She responds as she sets the empty shot glass on a table nearby.

“Yeah I kind of figured when y’all ditched us earlier.” Chelsea chokes out as she pushes herself off the wall and steps between us wrapping her arms around the both of us.

“Have fun kids. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Chelsea jokes as she looks between us one last time giving you a thumbs up as she pushes Billie towards the door. A chuckle leaves your lips as you shoo her away following close behind Billie.

She reaches her hand back for you as she heads towards the elevator. Taking a deep breath and grasping her hand.

***

You didn’t make it very far before hands began exploring bodies. Lips tangled together as you feel for the light switch inside your room. Her body pressing yours against the door as her hand grips your hip and the other on the side of your neck. Moaning out as she slides her fingers into your hair as the kiss deepens.

Giving up on the light as the hand on your hip slowly slides up your back. Gripping the zipper she begins the slow torture of working it down your spine. Back arching off the door wishing the fabric barrier was already gone and it was her hands skimming your skin. Your hands slide up her arms and tangle themselves in her hair as her lips work their way across your jaw and down your neck. Teeth grazing every so often leaving small marks.

Your breath ragged as the zipper reached its end and her finger tips found your skin.

“Fuck,” you mumble throwing your head back against the door. Her breathing catches as her lips halt on your neck.

“Tell me it’s real. I ne- I need to hear you say it.” She whispers her head falling onto your shoulder trying to slow her breathing down. Looking down and tilting her head back up, quickly moving the stray pieces of hair out of her vision, you softly peck her lips. Pushing off the door you hands gripping her cheeks holding her in place as you lead her backwards. Her lips chasing yours as she follows you blindly.

Your heart is racing. You can feel your pulse deep in your ears as Billies knees buckle against the bed. Hitting the comforter you slowly climb your way on top of her. Your legs straddling her hips towering over her. It was your turn to leave your mark as your lips work their way across her skin leaving love bites in their wake. Lips moving tantalizingly slow working your way down her neck to her collar bones. Her hands gripping and grasping at your naked back moaning at the fact that beneath your dress you are toppless.

“Is this real enough?” You ask. Your tongue tracing shapes on her warm skin. Her chest heaves, head tilted back and eyes squeezed closed. Her head nodded frantically.

“I can feel your heart beating baby.” You whimper as you move your lips to her pulse point on her neck. Sucking it sweetly causing the prettiest of moans to escape the girl below you. You feel her heart begin to beat even faster at the feel of your lips against her warm skin. The pet name driving her crazy. Her grip on you tightens, pleading you to move. To do anything to help relieve the ache building between her thighs.

Moaning in her ear at the glorious friction between your thighs.

“Please,” she begs as her back arches into you as your hand grips her hip, rotating your hips against her gloriously. Her begging echos off the walls. Holding her in place as you feel the wetness start to pool between your legs. Grinding yourself fast against her thighs. Hitting all the right places. Her hands roaming your body as her breathing gets heavier in your ear. Her soft moans and whimpers fuel you as your lips find her neck once more.

She is quick to find your lips. Her hands gripping your face as she takes your bottom lip between her teeth. Her hips buck up against you as her grip moves to your neck. Forcing you to look at her. Your bottom lip finding its way between your teeth as a whimper leaves your lips. Her tongue swipes across her lips as she looks up at you. The smile slowly grew across her face.

“You look really pretty,” you whisper shyly looking down at her softly. Your fingers reach up and trace the outline of her face. Starting from her temple, around her eyebrow, down her nose, across her lips landing on her chin. Your cheeks heat up as you watch the moonlight sparkle across her pale cheeks. Noticing the much lighter shade of blue that took over her eyes. Now noticing the cold chill in the room as a shiver runs down your spine. Glancing over you notice the small crack in the sliding door you must have forgotten to close earlier.

Slowly working your way to the end of the bed only to get stop by Billie tugging on your hand. “Where are you going?” She groans sitting up as you slide off her body and shimmy the small black dress to the floor. Her breathing stops completely as she sits there staring at you in awe. Tits out on full display, and the skimpiest black lace thong is the only thing hugging your body.

Stepping out of the dress and thong you smirk before bouncing your way across the room to the door.

“I forgot to close the curtains,” you reply, looking back at her over her shoulder as you pull the curtains shut. Her once soft blue eyes have turned icy cold as they trace every curve and line of your figure. Her teeth harshly biting down on her lip as she slowly stands up from the bed and takes the couple steps to you. Her once straight hair now tangled as it sways from her pace. Her jersey bunched up just above her waist line.

”Who said they had to be closed?” She softly asked her fingertips itch to touch your warm skin again. A gasp leaves your lips eyebrows furrow noticing her slow steps. Swinging the curtains back open as she reaches you.

“Anything you wanna- you wanna try?” You huff out as her hands find your hips pushing them back against the cold door. Her lips find your neck making hasty work. “I want to touch you.” She whispers against your ear. Her hand slowly working its way up your side not missing the goosebumps that follow her trail.

“Fucking shit Bi-“

”I want you to touch me.” She interrupts as your earlobe finds itself between her teeth. Heat consumes your body as she takes over all your senses. The cold chill of the door not helping to cool down your rising heat. “In every single way.” She finishes as her lips leave open mouth kisses up to your lips.

You take no time to find the hem of her shirt and quickly discard it off her body. Throwing it across the dark room not caring where it lands as your eyes take her in for the first time. Groaning and grasping you, pull her flush against you. Lips colliding in a tangled battle as your hands quickly unclasp her bra. Her hands make quick work to unbutton her pants and kick them down her legs. Never breaking apart as your fingers get tangled deep in her hair as her bra is soon added to the clothes collection.

Chest heaving as the kiss gets deeper. Thighs tangle together as you spin your bodies around. She hissed out as her back feels the chill air off the door. Her tongue traces your bottom lip patiently asking for permission. Denying her as you work your lips down her body. Humming softly as you hover above her breast. Looking up at her through your lashes. Her stare already following all your moves. Her chest rises and falls as your tongue gently and oh so very softly teases her nipple.

“Mmm fuck, please-“ She moans arching her back off the door trying to find contact. Gripping her hips you pin her hips right where they were. Licking your lips, taking your time as you leave open mouth kisses on her cleavage. Her moans don’t go unnoticed as you make your way to show the same attention to the other. Her head tilted back against the cold glass as her hands buried themselves deep in your hair pushing your face flush against her breast.

“Put me in your mouth. God you are killing me, pretty girl.” Billie moans out looking down at you with pleading eyes. Wasting no time your lips capture her bud and suck, lick, bite, and twist the sensitive nerve. Over and over again. Repeating your actions getting lost in the way she feels against your wet tongue. The way she sounds from your simple touch. Groaning as your continue your torture even further down.

Between the valley of her breast. Across her tummy giving special attention to the tattoo that lay permanently above her hips. Smirking against her skin as your fingertips trace her pantie line. The thin material gently tickles her skin as you slowly slide them off.

“Are you sure about this Billie?” You ask once more, laying a gentle kiss on her hip looking up at her through your lashes. Glancing down at you she releases her hold on her bottom lip as her tongue traces the pink skin.

Nodding her head yes, as her fingertips trace your jawline.

“Please,” she whispers as her hips buck up brushing against your lips. A moan leaves her lips above you as you grip her hip and lay a kiss to her mound. Your tongue diving between her lips moaning as you lap up her juices. So sweet. Fuck.

Your lips suckling her as your fingernails dig into her skin, your tongue swirling all around getting lost in the taste of her. Her hands bury themselves deep into your hair as her hips grind harder against your tongue. Her back arching off the glass door as you move your tongue to tease her clit.

Billie gasps as you lock her clit between your teeth. “Fuck, look at you kneeling beneath me, suck-fuck-sucking my fucking clit. Shit-right there baby,” She moans as she pushes your face deeper into her cunt. Grinding her hips the way she wants against your face as her free hand reaches up and grasps her tit. Squeezing and twisting her nipple. You groan against her wet heat as your tongue glides between her slit teasing her warm hole.

”God Bils you taste so fucking good,” You moan as you lick your lips grinning up at her. Her breathing ragged as her chest heaved up and down. Her eyes never leave you as you glide your fingers through her wetness. Spreading her wetness all around her clit, kneeling up and tracing your lips across her hip bone. Looking up at her as your teeth graze her skin, your fingers working their way lower into her core.

Her hips buck off the door as your fingertips tease her hole. The tip of your middle finger flirting with her as you leave open mouth kisses across her skin. Humming against her skin, “What do you want baby?” You ask softly as you pin her hips back against the cold door. You notice the small condensation building from the heat of her body and the chilly air seeping in.

“Your fingers. Please,” she whines, fighting your grip on her hip desperately wanting to feel your touch deeper. Smirking you peck her hip once more, “So polite Bils-” you hum as you thrust two fingers into her pussy. Groaning as your grip tightens against her hips aiding in holding her up as she gets lost in the feeling of you between her walls. Your fingers thrusting and rubbing her in all the right places as you twist your wrist. Your lips find their way back to her clit as you swivel your warm buds against her. Flicking, biting, and sucking her as your fingers get deeper searching for her sweet spot. Her moans get louder as her hands grip your head and her hips rock back and forth against you.

“Holy shit, yes right there. Please, don’t stop.” Billie moans as you repeatedly hit that spongy spot that’s driving her crazy. Thrusting your fingers harder against her as you slide your tongue down between her folds missing the taste of her. Your nose rubbing her clit perfectly as her hips rotate even faster.

“Please, please, please,” She whines. “Im so fucking close pretty. Please don’t stop,” she begs as you feel her clench around your fingers. She can feel your smirk against her core as the heat building deep in her belly explodes and consumes her entire body. Her legs shaking as she pulls your face closer, wanting you to take in every drop she has to offer you. Her body sliding down the door as her body shakes against you. Your thumb rubbing circles against her clit helping her ride out her high on your fingers. Glancing up at her you can’t help but marvel at the sight of her.

Lips swollen and red from the constant pressure of her teeth. Her cheeks are rosy pink. Hair tangled and pinned down from sweat. Her chest heaves as her eyes meet yours. A small smirk works its way across her cheeks as she slides the rest of the way down to the carpeted floor. Her hands working their way from your hair to your cheek as her thumb traces your bottom lip.

A blush creeps to your cheeks as her eyes work from your gaze to your lips back up again. Brushing a piece of hair behind your ear you lean your head into her hand. Trying to fight your smile as you gently move her thigh sliding your fingers out. Her hand grips your wrist as your fingers graze her clit. Your eyes meet as she lifts your hands up. You watch her as she lifts your cum covered fingers to her lips. Groaning as she cleans your fingers with her tongue. Making sure to take every last drop before she drops your hand and grips your neck. Pulling you flush against her as her lips crash against yours. Tasting her on her tongue as she slides her tongue against yours in a passionate kiss.

Your legs wrapping around her hips as her hands grip your thighs. Your tongues battle for dominance as your heads tilt, deepening the kiss. Your hands work their way from her neck to her breast. Missing the feel of her under your fingers. Gripping and twisting her nipples as your teeth grip her bottom lip. Biting and pulling it as her back arches up into your touch. Your fingers still slightly wet from being between her lips. Your lips work their way down her jaw to her neck. Leaving a trail of hot kisses along her pulse point.

Tilting her head back giving you more room as your tongue traces random shapes on her warm skin.

Her grip tightens as her hips buck up.

“My turn,” She moans as she pushes you back gently towering over you. Welcoming the warmth from the carper and her lips as she works them up your leg. Taking her time as she kisses every inch of skin. Her hands skim your hip as she slides her leg between yours. Her thigh rubbing up against your core. Moaning at the friction you’ve been neglected from.

Heat burning in all the places her hands touch as they work their way up your body as her lips attack your neck. Her teeth leaving love bites all along your skin as you feel her wetness against your thigh. Your hips grind against her as your hands grasp at her back.

“Billie-“ You moan out as her fingertips pinch your nipple as her teeth dig into the skin at the base of your neck. Your fingers scratch down her back as her hips move faster against you. Moaning in your ear her breathing heavy.

“God you feel so fucking good underneath me pretty girl.” She whispers into your neck. “Being such a good girl. Making me feel so fucking good mamas,” Billie groans as she slides her hand between your thighs. Throwing your head back against the floor and moving your hips even faster as her fingertips find your swollen clit. Begging to be touched and played with. “Just wanna make you feel good pretty, wanna make you feel so good.” She whines.

Her hot breath hitting your skin, your vision blurring as her fingers sunk deep into your cunt as she thrust her fingers inside you without warning you swear you could feel her in your stomach.

Moaning loudly as your back arches into her. “Fuck yes! Just like that shit-” you scream.

Your bodies rocking hard against each other chasing the burning heat growing deeper inside you. Her fingers hitting all the right spots as her hips grind and rotate against you. “Billie I-” you start but are soon cut off by her lips. Capturing your bottom lip between hers swallowing your moans as you begin to clench around her fingers. You couldn’t hold it much longer especially if she kept grinding herself the way she was against you and moving her fingers so gloriously against your walls you needed to cum.

You needed to cum bad and soon. Clenching your thighs around her as you grind harder against her fingers. “Hold it,’ She growls as she glides her dripping core harder against your thigh as you tilt it up causing her to fall into you completely encasing your body underneath her. Your moans echoing off the walls as you grip her hips helping her move against you.

“Please, I wanna cum for you. Wanna be good and cum for you,” you whine in her ear as your lips trace her earlobe. Her hips faulting against you as your words seep into her skin. “Fuck, I’m cumming. Shit- I’m cumm-” She moans as her legs clench tightly around you as you feel her orgasm take over. Her body shaking and convulsing above you as her fingers curl hitting your g-spot perfectly over and over again. Her lips attacking your neck as her body arches into you.

Your grip on her tightens as you hold her tighter against you grinding up against her. Loving the feeling of her losing herself ontop of you. Watching as her body shakes and quivers all because of your touch sends a spark throughout your body. Morning loudly as your bottom lips finds itself between your teeth you can’t fight back the growing need much longer.

“Fuck, be my good girl and cum for me baby. C’mon mamas give me what I want.” She begs in your ear. Her words being the tipping point you needed as you clench around her fingers pulling her deeper into you. Your hips rubbing your cum all over her as you see stars. Moaning her name over and over again as her fingers don’t give up. Her lips still on your skin finding their way back to yours.

Capturing your lips relishing in your moans against her lips as she works your way through your high. Losing yourselves as your breathe in each other's air as you both try to catch your breath. Eyes still closed holding each other enjoying the bliss that is radiating off each other. You hear her giggle softly as she gently pulls back and kisses the tip of your nose.

Your eyes flutter open as you blink away the stars. Her body still on top of yours as your fingers move to trace her jawline. Smiling up at her tucking a piece of falling hair behind her ear.

“Hi,” you whisper as your lip finds its way between your teeth. A chuckle leaves her lips as she carefully removed your lips from between your teeth leaning down and placing a chaste kiss on your lips.

“Hi you,” she whispers back as her cheeks heat up. Her free hand traces soft shapes on your tummy. Her body gives off heat as you both lay there engulfed in each other. “That was,”

“Amazing,” you finish, causing a bashful smile to form on her lips. Matching her you catch her eyes as she leans down slowly. Her lips gently brushing against your as you feel her breath fan across your face.

“That’s one word I would use.” She jokes back as she slowly slides her fingers out from between your heat and brings them up to her lips. Her lips caging them in as she closes her eyes enjoying the taste of you on her tongue. “Fuck.” She groans as she sucks them clean looking down at you. A mischief look takes over her face as she leans down and slides her tongue between your lips.

Your hands gripping her neck holding her against you as you battle against her.

“You taste good mamas,’ she groans as she grips the side of your neck. Her forehead laying against yours. You smirk as you trace up and down her spine.

“C’mon we need to get cleaned up and in bed sweet girl.” You whisper as you peck her forehead and gently push her up. Groaning in protest as her hands hip your hips. “Nooo I want to cuddle.” She whines in your neck. As soon as she said the words you felt her body shiver from the cold air. Remembering the still cracked door you both migrated in front of. Gripping her tighter against you briefly.

“We can cuddle in bed. I promise.” You state as you lead her in sitting up. A chuckle leaves your lips as you notice her quiet huff as she stands up and holds her hand out for you. Taking her offer and leading her to the bathroom you squeeze her hand as you glance back at her with a smile.

You can’t help the butterflies that are once again fluttering deep in your belly as her gaze meets yours after they worked their way up your naked figure. “You look so pretty, baby.” She gushes out at you as she follows you willingly.

Your cheeks heating once again at her words. “Thank you.” You whisper with a smile. You grab a washcloth off the counter and turn the water onto warm. Billie makes her way behind you as you stand there waiting for the water to heat up. Her hands find your hips as her lips kiss along your shoulder blade. Her front being completely pressed up against your back. Humming a soft tune as she watches your through the mirror as you wet the cloth. Making quick work to clean yourself and then turning around to clean Billie. Her eyes never leaving yours as you slide your hand slowly down her torso.

Her breathing hitches as you gently grip her hip as your work the warm cloth between her folds. Her body falls into yours. Her hands squeeze you tighter as her forehead lays on your shoulder. Her warm breath hitting your naked skin. Her hips buckle slightly as your graze her sensitive clit.

“All finished.” You whisper as you lay the cloth on the counter. Her body still pressed against yours as she releases her lip from between her teeth and slowly lifts her head looking up at you. She pulls on your hips causing you to fall into her as she connects your lips with a soft kiss. Her hand gripping your lower back steadying you as you lose yourself in her kiss.

“Cuddles, please?” She asks as she grips your hand in hers leading you back towards the bed. Nodding your head in agreement as your smiles match each others. Pushing her gently towards the bed you release her hand and step around her. Her smile falters as her gaze follows you.

“Where are you-“ She begins.

”I still gotta close the curtains.” You state with a smirk as you close the glass door and pull the curtains closed before turning on your heel and bouncing your way back to her. Your body falling into hers causing you both to fall back onto the bed. Her arms wrapping themselves around your torso as she braces you for the impact. A giggle leaves your lips as you peck her lips once more.

Groaning, she grabs your cheek bringing your lips back to hers.

“Cuddles and maybe more kisses.” She whispers against your lips. Leaving you no choice but to nod in agreement as you find yourselves tangled back up in the sheets basking in the heat of her lips on yours.

[fictionalmenxyn]

߷𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐬߷

Pairing: Chris x influencer!reader (established relationship)

Warnings: language, suggestive talking

-☺︎︎☺︎︎☺︎︎-

You had just arrived back at the LA house. Holding food bags from McDonalds. You went over to Matt’s room and dropped his food off. Realising the boys were on stream, but Chris was in his room.

You headed down to the bottom floor, Chris’ room. You knock on the door then open it.

Chris looks over and smiles “hey chat, my meal is here.” He smirks and made sure to hide his actual food from the camera. As you walks over and sat in the spare chair. Chat blew up.

‘OMG HEY Y/N!!’ ‘EW CHRIS U JUST CALL HER UR MEAL LOL’ ‘CHRIS NO AHAH 😂’ ‘y/n is not his food guys she went to McDonalds 😭’ ‘omg Y/n on stream with the boys’ ‘cuties!!!’

You smiled at the camera “hey guys, imma hop on stream with Chris and Matt.” Chris smiled and placed his meal out on the desk “chat should Y/n take over while I eat??” Matt joked “yeah, she better anyways.” Chris playfully gasped “absolutely not!!” You laughed. Taking the controller from Chris. You started to play Fortnite with Matt.

As you played, Chris watched and read chat as he ate. He’d giggle at some comments. He asked “hey chat?? Should I feed Y/n/n a nuggie??” You laughed. Chat obviously agreed. You joked “the fucking edits are gonna go wild…” he laughed “perfect!”

He held a nugget to your lips, you took a bite. Then he fed you the other half. You thanked him then handed over the controller as he was done eating.

You talked with everyone who was watching the stream as they played. Chris glanced over and chuckled “chats asking ass or tits…” Matt replied “personality, then heart..” Chris smirked “exactly…” you pulled a ‘ok, did he just agree to that’

Then Chris added “then ass.” You gasped “I was fucking waiting for that!!” You added “I was like ‘damn he really just agreed with Matt without saying that’s then you said it I was like ‘there it is’” you all laugh.

While Matt was doing something, you and Chris sat in his room waiting for Matt’s return.

Chris was eating a pack of sour patch kids. You stuck your index finger and thumb out. You give him the puppy dog eyes “can I have you?” He grinned “magic word??” “Please??” “It’s abracadabra!” He laughed hard. You laughed at him, thinking ‘how the fuck was it that funny??’ He held the pack out to you “here babe, since you sooo kindly said ‘please’ I guess I’ll let you have some.” You smiled “thank youuu”

You looked to the camera “see chat, this is what I gotta stick up with.” That earned a loud gasp from Chris “you did not!” He put his sour patch kids down and started play fighting with you.

Matt returned to his room, sitting back in his chair. “You guys ready for another round on here? Or we playin’ dress to impress???” No answer�� “Chris? Y/n? Chat, what’re they doing??” He leaned closer to his screen and read chat. Spamming.

‘They’re play fighting again!!’

Matt chuckles, you get back into your seat again “Matt come get your fuggly ass brother” Chris playfully but definitely gently punched your arm. You punched his back “ow bitch! That hurt!” You giggled. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” “Wa, wa, babe, too bad so sad.” Chris demanded “kiss it better!!” You laughed. Giving his shoulder a kiss.

After a while, you were now sat on his lap as you watched him and Matt play dress to impress. “No Chris get the mini skirt!!” “I’m getting there!!” You clapped when he put it on the avatar “fucking slay, hoe!” He smiled. You said “chat, rate fit outta ten!” Everyone spamming nines and tens.

As the ratings started, Chris wrapped his arms around your waist. Placing a few small kisses to your cheek and jaw. He smiled “foot outfit choice, baby” you smiled “what can I say, I’m just too good.” Matt and Chris laughed.

You lean back into Chris, resting your head on his shoulder. Staying like that for the rest of the stream. In between all the play fighting and grabbing snacks. He also gave you the occasional kisses and pecks. You were the official ‘chat reader’ as Chris put it. Reading out chat and talking to the viewers. Everyone loved you on stream with the guys while they played games all night.

-☺︎︎☺︎︎☺︎︎-

[neoraso]

pancakes & champagne |sjy

jake x fem reader literally js fluff as per usual, reader teases jakey and then gets a taste of her own medicine. wc: 1.8k~

you had felt quite proud with yourself after hearing of a new pasta place to try for date night. you had talked it up all week, only to find out it was closed on thursdays. as in - today, as in- the one day he had off just for the two of you. so now you were left with the task of looking for a new place and feeling very down to the wire, the gnaw in your stomach wasn’t helping either. he, on the other hand, was doing his best to distract you and to not join in your frustration. it was a shock his lips weren’t numb by now after being pressed anywhere on your neck and face and shoulders he could reach for the last ten minutes.

“jake, please,” you said exasperatedly, “i’m trying to figure this out.” scrolling past all the suggestions with below four star ratings. and he was still kissing your neck.

“maybe we should try a lower rated place. it could be like a hidden gem.” he smirked against your skin, biting down. “try that one.”

you put your hand in between your neck and his mouth, hoping to cease his onslaught of attention and clicked on the chicken shop he suggested. he kissed your palm three times each with a noise louder than the last and pulled it into his lap, resting his chin on your shoulder. as soon as you opened the website, he hissed while you scoffed at the top review.

“not only was staff incredibly rude - had the shits for days. if i could give this place 0 stars i would. negative stars actually”

you looked through a few other reviews that said more of the same and felt your strength floating away.

jake started nuzzling against you with a dopey smile on his face that completely contrasted your glower.

“ok maybe not.” he paused, already laughing at his next idea, “why don’t we just cook?”

you leaned back, narrowing your eyes with a look he knew exactly what it meant causing him to snicker.

“i can’t think of a time where cooking hasn’t ended in a medical emergency.” you said with an impossibly straight face.

he only laughed and pressed his fingers into your shoulder before standing up and pulling you with him.

“guess we have no other choice but our backup, babe.” his words could’ve sounded disappointed, but the sharp corners of his mouth pulled impossibly back and his eyes sparkling said he didn’t care where you went- as long as he was with you.

you sighed while he swung your intertwined hands together, looking down with a pout. your “backup” was an- admittedly cute- pancake place that was open until 10 p.m.

you and jake frequented here in times like these and especially once he had already decided he wanted it. the manager was nice and always serviced you, once saying just your faces brought business in, but it was still a letdown that you’d have to wait until the next time you and jake’s schedules matched up.

you felt like a child with the way your bottom lip jutted out and you shuffled your feet. “but i really wanted to try that place with you…”

he raised one of your linked pair of hands and poked your cheek

“aw baby don’t pout, not your fault they were closed. we can get your favorite treat too and come back and watch our show, hm?”

“but they had strawberry champagne…” you were whining now.

“let’s go lovey, the pancakies will make you forget all about any strawberry champagne yeah?”

“okay…” you drawled out the affirmation, still looking at the floor with a pout.

“ok baby. now gimme a kiss and we can go. c’mon, you look so pretty, and it’ll cheer you up. i promise.”

you whined his name as he leaned in anyway, breathing in against your cheek

“you always say just one kiss…” you indulged him anyway lifting your head to meet his lips.

“well i can’t help it. you’re my dream.” he kissed you longer now and you let him, already feeling the disappointment dissipating with every pass of his breath over your mouth. you could feel yourself doing exactly what you accused him of, humming against him and letting go of his hands to reach around his neck to pull him so much closer.

much to your dismay, (second L of the night), he pulled away abruptly, tapping your glossy lips with his finger affectionately.

“ok let’s go!” he announced all too cheerfully.

he walked right past you and headed to the entryway while you dazedly trailed behind, almost tripping as you caught up to him. it flashed in your mind that you had been rejecting his advances all night and now you had to pay the price

he slipped his boots on and crouched to grab your sneakers, opting for ones that matched your outfit that you hadn’t bothered changing.

it was a bit pitiful how it was now of all times, as your boyfriend was knelt down tying your shoelaces for you, that you suddenly became insatiable.

this type of doting had started before you dated and he fervently aimed to impress you, shameless in his infatuation but as time went on and he learned your habits and really fell in love with you, he began to do little things like this as if it was second nature.

you pet his hair as he finished with your other shoe.

“jakey.”

humming absentmindedly as he stood up and grabbed your jacket from the closet, knowing you hate to carry it but eventually (and without fail) get chilly.

“jakey jakeyyy” the hope that your singsong would be a bit less pathetic was immediately undermined by your weak tugs on his sleeve to get his attention. for someone who had been avoiding his mouth as a whole for the last half hour, you sure were itching to get your hands on him again…

chuckling a bit as he gave one last glance at the mirror to fix his bangs, he turned to your eyes that had widened and glossed over with an expectant look in hopes he’d give you what you wanted without you having to ask for it.

“what is it? you look so funny.”

“can you just-” you pulled at his sleeves to bring him closer. he was grinning but also looking at you with raised eyebrows, waiting for you to get on with this act he knew would end eventually

“can i just what?” he couldn’t help giggling now, reaching up to stroke your fingers that had inched up to his shoulders. it was becoming apparent that he knew exactly what you wanted him to do and was now going to tease you until you said it yourself. “use your big girl words, c’mon.” talking through his smile while he pinched your cheek, already looking at your lips so you knew he wanted it too.

“won’t you kiss me? just real quick before we go?” was all you could whisper out under the suffocation of his stare. your eyes rounding and mouth parting came with the territory of being so into your boyfriend. sometimes you liked to try and play it cool but inside you knew you could barely handle not being on him for more than ten minutes-sometimes less- such as right now.

“you want a kiss? weren’t you just teasing me about kissing you too much?” his words had absolutely no bite because he was smirking, impossibly straight canines hanging over his bottom lip as he zoned in on your own mouth.

“maybe, but now you’re being mean.” you huffed out.

his eyes were still shining and if you looked close enough you might’ve seen a reflection of yourself as sweetly as he saw you. his laugh came out in an exhale from his nose as he tried to keep from smiling with his teeth.

“alright baby i’m done teasing.”

he leaned over the shoe-filled gap between the two of you and used the hand that wasn’t holding your coat to pull you in softly by the back of your neck. the room was silent when your noses touched as he playfully rubbed his against yours. you tilted your head up meeting him there whether he wanted to keep playing around or not. he clearly thought your impatience was amusing (more likely endearing) because it seemed to take all the strength in his body to pucker his tightly smiling lips to give you a proper smooch rather than you just kissing his teeth.

excitement buzzed through you when he kicked the shoes on the floor to the side to get closer, sighing into your mouth and laving his tongue over your bottom lip-never sliding it in. he was being sweet but clearly holding back, trying to respect the time.

it was really only maybe 30 seconds of this little dance before he pulled away and you reluctantly released his bottom lip from your teeth. the sight of the bright pink shade and sheen of his post-kiss lips were enough to make you feral all over again.

as if on cue, your stomach suddenly groaned signaling your neglect of food amidst your little kiss fest.

before he could comment, you dramatically sighed.

“okay fine, maybe i am the problem, let’s go.” you turned to open the door, his chuckle could only hit your back as you undid the lock.

“i didn’t even say anything! but it is already 7:30…”

feeling only slightly forlorn about your deprivation but still wanting to tease him,

 “you didn’t have to say anything…”

as you exited the house with him directly behind it only took three steps for him to swiftly wrap his fingers around your wrist, tugging until you turned around to face him. now it was your turn to stare in waiting. you didn’t have to wait long before he took your face in his free hand, tilting it up until you could feel his breath on your face.

“babe, you know i could stay in with you all day, but i also know you need to eat, otherwise you’ll be so grumpy. and neither of us want that.” he pressed his lips hard enough against you so you could only breathe in him. the hand on your face moved to behind your neck, pulling you against him until you hummed, pulling away and pecking him once more with your eyes still closed.

“can’t have my girl starving on my watch that’s gotta be some kind of misdemeanor for negligence.” he said, making your pouty demeanor falter into a laugh before slinging his arm around your shoulder for the rest of the way to the car.

after opening your door and buckling you in, giggling when he noticed your eyes burning holes into his face, pinching your cheek before slipping into the drivers seat.

“pancakies for my girl lets go~”

you put your hand over his on the gear shift,

“just one more kiss?”

he leaned against the headrest shaking his head ever so fondly,

“you're crazy, y'know that?”

[anna-hawk]

L'étranger

Frank Castle x f!Reader

Summary: You decide to hit a bar after one hell of a day at work and meet a man who's willing to listen to you rant away. As the chemistry seems to build between you, you choose to be bold and ask him to come home with you. He doesn't give you what you want, but ends up giving you what you need.

Rating: Explicit 🔞 // WC: 5,9k

CW: PWP, sex as stress relief, bj, finger fucking, soft and emotional sex, first meetings

A/N: this is based on my current work life. I just wish I could meet Frank that way too 😅. Also, the title means "The Stranger" in French.

Read it on AO3

Stumbling through the doors of the first decent bar you found after leaving your job, you made a beeline for the counter, desperately needing a glass of wine or beer. Or whatever. You weren’t picky tonight. You threw yourself onto a free bar stool, slapped your purse onto the counter with a resounding smack, and uttered a large and miserable half sigh, half groan. 

“Sounds like someone had a day, huh?”

You tiredly glanced to the side and caught the sight of the man the voice belonged to. Absently, you thought to yourself that you’d at least managed to sit down next to a good-looking guy. The sharp jaw, broad nose and wide shoulders definitely did it for you. Unfortunately, you were too exhausted, mentally and physically, to really take more note of him right now. Instead, you stared at him with half open eyes and a flat expression. At his lopsided smile and expression of genuine concern, however, you huffed out a bitter laugh that transformed into another one of your long sighs. 

“More like month.”

The man cringed in commiseration and lifted his hand for the bartender to get his attention.  

“Hey, man, serve the lady whatever she wants and put it on my tab, yeah?” 

Your eyes widened in surprise at his words.

“That's really kind of you, but you don't have to,” you said softly, waving a hand around. 

“I know,” he replied simply, but shrugged in a way that clearly stated that he was still doing it. 

You stared at him for a second while he took a gulp of his beer, observing his profile. And what a profile it was. You weren’t in the mood for dealing with a man trying to hit on you, but this guy wasn’t showing you more than genuine kindness. 

“Thanks,” you finally said, giving your order to the waiting bartender. 

“Don’ mention it,” the man smiled, inclining his bottle of beer towards you. 

Silence fell, but you could see him watching you out of the corner of your eyes, contemplating you as you pulled out your phone and put it on do not disturb. You refused to be bothered by anything from work or anything else for that matter. You muttered darkly under your breath as you saw the text in the most recent notification for your job’s group chat, but chose to ignore it. They could deal without you for the next two days. 

“Wanna talk about it?” The man asked tentatively right when your drink arrived. 

You gave him an amused side eye and took a long sip of your drink, groaning in satisfaction at the taste.

“I don't wanna bore you with my shit, but thanks for asking.”

You weren’t blowing him off, but really didn’t think that he’d be interested in listening to everything that was bothering you. 

Apparently he figured that he wasn’t the issue, since he shrugged. “I don't mind. Not a lot I can do, I guess, but if you just wanna rant at someone, go ahead.” 

You laughed at the suggestion and sighed deeply, turning towards him with your head tilted to the side. 

“Oh, you're not ready for this.”

He smirked and faced you as well. “Try me anyway?”

You stared at him for a while, considering him, but he only looked back calmly. Before you knew what was happening, you were talking.

“It’s my job… My manager is retiring in the next few weeks, and the guy replacing her is the worst choice the higher ups could have ever made. He comes from a different field, knows jack about what we do, and trust me, it’s not the past month he spent with my manager while she trained him, well, tried to at least, that will teach him everything he needs to know. It’s just impossible. She always has so much to take care of, and I don’t think that he realizes it yet. And if at least he was putting in the effort and showing us that he wants to do well, that would already be great, but he doesn’t. He keeps putting the blame on other people or the system or whatever whenever something isn’t working, or he messes up. He’s all fake smiles and laughs, but he complains about everything. It’s a nightmare. The thing is, he isn’t the only one at fault. The general manager handpicked him because she knows that she can control him, something she couldn’t do with my old manager. Our office is kinda far away from the headquarters, and we always did great work without anyone’s help. I’ve been working for that company for fifteen years, and my coworkers and I felt that everything was flowing pretty well, even if we knew that the company has more flaws than good sides. Although the salary isn’t what I’d love it to be, I love my coworkers, and the job itself is fine too. But now, with the manager gone, we all suddenly realize just how much shit is going on behind the scenes and what might happen to us. They tried to bribe us by giving out bonuses, but only to certain people. It was all supposed to be hush-hush, y’know. The people getting the bonus weren’t supposed to talk about it, but that’s not how we work. So instead of making us happy, it made us more angry. Not at each other but at the higher ups. Why would some of us get a bonus and others wouldn’t, when we’re doing the exact same job? That, and don’t get me started on how they’re basically kicking my old manager to the curb. She gave thirty years of her life to that company, worked her ass off, spent hours upon hours working so the job wouldn't transform into a giant shitshow. Her work ethic is incredible, and the higher-ups don’t seem to realize just how much she brought to the company. My guess is that they’ll have a rude awakening once she’s officially gone and everything is going to come crumbling down around us.” 

You paused, sighed explosively, and drank down the rest of your drink. 

“Well, shit,” the man said with raised eyebrows. “I’m sorry you have to go through this. These people really don’t sound like they deserve to have you or your coworkers puttin’ all that effort into the company.”

You scoffed as you stared into your empty glass. 

“You bet your ass they don’t,” you muttered sourly. 

The man chuckled at your vindictive tone, which had your lips pulling up on one side. 

“Hey, man, can we get a refill?”

You lifted your eyes to find your stranger addressing the barkeep and waving a hand over his beer bottle and your glass. While the barkeeper nodded and started on the drinks, you smiled ruefully as your seat neighbor turned his attention back on you, your heart squeezing at the soft smile he sent your way. 

“Thank you,” you whispered, ducking your head. 

“No problem,” he replied in a low tone. 

After a few seconds of silence, you realized that he was still watching you expectantly when you looked at him again. He chuckled at your expression. 

“Somethin’ tells me there’s more.” 

You laughed, loudly and with a wave of relief washing over you. Talking to him was lifting a giant weight off of you, as if getting the words off your chest had been more necessary than you could have ever imagined. His grin was wide as he watched you laugh, which had your stomach warming at the attention. 

“I wanna quit,” you started before pausing briefly and watching the barkeeper bring your drinks. You thanked him and took a fortifying sip. The drink you chose wasn’t too strong, since you just wanted to take the edge off, so you weren’t even really tipsy now. You definitely felt more loose, though. “I’ve thought about changing careers for ages. I don’t mind my current job as it is, it has good and bad points, like any job, I guess. So I’ve put my actual dream career to the side for years, focusing on staying financially stable instead. But now, I realize that I don’t wanna stay in that fucking company. I just can’t, you know? I can’t work ridiculous hours for a barely decent salary anymore. The thing is, I can’t just up and quit like that. I’d lose all the benefits I got over the years, and getting the degree that I need to be able to do what I really want costs money. So right now, I’m still checking out my options, but if the CEO doesn’t agree to let me go with my benefits, I don’t know what I’ll do.” You shook your head miserably and swirled your drink around in the glass. “Going into work and being stressed has been part of the job since day one. But mostly, it was never in a bad way. Especially lately, because I know my job, and I’m good at it. Now, though… When I’m going in, I feel pure disgust and contempt for the people employing me. I’m just so… done.”

You finished with a long breath, your anger simmering down after getting it all out, leaving you with mostly frustration. Your face suddenly grew hot as you realized that you’d basically word-vomited in front of a complete stranger, showing him all the ugly feelings and resentment you’d been carrying around for the past couple of months. 

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, closing your eyes and rubbing over them with your thumb and index. “I know you said you were okay with this, but I still feel like I basically just dumped everything on you like a whiny kid.” 

You heard him chuckling, the sound low and warm. 

“Yeah, I told you to go for it, but you didn’t sound whiny to me at all. Just like someone who really needed to get it all off their chest.” 

Leaning your head over your folded arms that were already lying on the counter, you turned your face towards him with a small smile. 

“Guess I did.”

“Do you feel any better?” He watched you intently, his eyes moving over your whole face. 

You looked to the side, taking stock of your emotions, before you met his gaze again with a smile. 

“Yeah… I do.”

“See. Worth listening, then.”

After the past weeks of absolute nightmare, you couldn’t believe how lucky you were to have happened upon someone as kind as this man. 

“You’re something else, you know that?” you said with a tone of wonder, taking more of him in. You'd noticed his prominent nose earlier, but his mouth was just as worth looking at, as were his brown eyes. 

He scoffed, the sound self-deprecating, but he didn’t say anything, and instead, took a swig from his beer, which brought his large hands into your line of sight. 

“Thank you,” you continued, keeping your eyes on him from your slouched position over your arms. 

“No problem.” This time, he was the one to look away, as if suddenly shy, which only intrigued you more. 

Straightening again, you propped your elbow on the counter and put your head on your fist, leaning slightly in his direction as you observed him with interest. He automatically looked at you again, beer bottle halfway to his mouth. Your heart started to beat faster as his eyes dropped to your mouth. You bit at the side of your bottom lip, as if in reply to his staring, and felt a zap of want when he met your eyes again with a different kind of intensity. Emboldened by your drink and his reaction to you, you leaned in enough for him to be the only one able to hear you. 

“Come home with me?”

The man blinked at you once before simply staring at you quietly, which was the only sign that he was at least slightly surprised by you being this straightforward. You held his gaze, no matter how much you wanted to look away, as embarrassment started to run through you despite your boldness. As his eyes drifted to your mouth again, your anxiousness began to evaporate. 

“Hey, Will,” he said, while keeping his attention solely on you as he addressed the bartender who was walking past you. “I’ll close my tab next time, yeah?”

“Sure thing,” Will answered easily, grabbing the beer bottle and glass from in front of you to put them away. 

Biting your lower lip on a giddy grin at the realization that this was actually happening, you got up and grabbed your purse. The man rose as well, a tiny smile at the corner of his mouth at your reaction. As you walked out of the bar and onto the sidewalk, you hailed a taxi that was just turning the corner of the street. The both of you got into the car, and once you’d given the driver your address, you spent the ten minutes it took to get to your building in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but your heart was beating like crazy as you tried not to overthink your decision. You refrained from looking at him directly as well, opting to keep your gaze on the street. However, you were aware that he was watching you through the semi darkness of the cab. After arriving in front of your building and stepping out of the taxi after paying for it, you made your way towards your apartment, with the man following one step behind you. He stayed beside you as you fished for your keys, staying just as quiet as before. 

“Right, um, I’ll quickly hit the shower, okay? Been in these work clothes for much longer than I like,” you laughed awkwardly, as you stepped through your apartment door. 

You internally rolled your eyes at yourself at your babbling, but the man just sent you a small smile and hummed in understanding. You nodded and began walking off, but after only one step, you quickly turned back to him. 

“Make yourself at home, yeah? Um… I don’t have anything interesting to drink but if-”

A warm palm cupped one of your cheeks and tilted your face into the man’s direction as he stepped close to you, effectively shutting you up. 

“I’m fine, ‘kay? You go take that shower, and I’ll just wait here, alright?” he said soothingly, his voice low and gentle. 

Staring into his soft brown eyes, you blinked at him before you nodded with a small smile. He let go of you, and you immediately headed into your bathroom, shutting the door and taking a deep breath. You rushed through removing your clothes and finally stepped into the shower. The hot water helped relax your nerves, and by the time you were done, you were still nervous but in an excited way this time. Once you were done drying off and brushing your teeth, you put on a thin bathrobe. As you looked at your underwear selection, you bit your lower lip as you chose to forgo putting on panties. If things went as planned, you wouldn’t be wearing them long anyway. As you stepped out again, you found him standing in front of your bookshelf, his head inclined to the side as he read the titles. He lifted his head towards you, his eyes drifting over your whole body as he watched you approach. 

“Hey,” you said quietly, giving him a small smile. 

“You got a nice book selection,” he commented casually, while standing close to you. 

You threw your bookshelf a small glance and smiled. “You can borrow whatever you like.” 

He hummed, the sound contemplative, but he leaned in until his nose was almost touching yours. 

“Maybe not tonight.” 

You nodded, going nearly cross-eyed as you stared into his warm eyes. A second later, you were closing them anyway, as he tilted his head and pressed his mouth against yours. It was only a gentle press of his lips at first, which he repeated as he leaned his head to the other side this time. His hands came up to cup the sides of your neck, using his thumbs under your jaw to direct your face how he wanted it. Your hands lifted to his biceps, squeezing them as you tentatively sucked at his bottom lip. He seemed to enjoy it, since he grunted and moved in further, causing you to take a step back and against the bookshelf. You moaned softly and opened your mouth as his tongue gently slid over your top lip. As the kiss deepened, you slid your arms around his waist, grabbing at the shirt, while he cupped the back of your neck and placed his other hand on your lower back, bringing you fully against him. You tried pushing for more, but the man simply stroked his tongue lazily against yours while keeping you flush against him. Despite the slowness of the kiss, your knees were beginning to shake anyway with how thoroughly he was delving between your lips. 

“Be — bedroom,” you gasped in between two presses of his lips against yours. 

Your stranger leaned his head away to quietly stare into your eyes, his expression intense, before he took a step away from you, indicating for you to lead the way. Biting your bottom lip, you briefly hesitated before you took hold of his hand to pull him towards the bedroom. As you reached the foot end of the bed, you turned back to him, meeting his gaze. He stepped back into your space without waiting for you to pull him towards you, his hands drifting over your hips and to your back as he sought out your mouth again. You sighed into the new kiss and ran your fingers through his lush hair. A thrill rippled through you as his hands moved down to your ass, squeezing it sporadically while the kiss turned hungrier. Wanting to get to your skin, his hands slowly parted the sides of the bathrobe until his fingers could touch your bare thighs. He ran them up slowly, making you shiver as he progressively reached your hips. They stilled for a brief moment as he realized that you weren’t wearing anything underneath the robe. His answer to that fact was to exhale harshly through his nose and make you take a step back towards the bed as he gently bit down on your bottom lip. You gasped at the sharpness of his teeth, and moaned into his mouth. His hands kept exploring your back, ass, and thighs, until you couldn’t stand it anymore and swiftly moved away from him to untie the robe and remove it at last. You were about to return between his arms, but the way he watched you attentively had you stopping and, instead, moving back, taking the last step needed to get on your bed. You did so slowly, moving backwards as you knelt down at the end of the bed. His eyes roved over your body, observing you with such obvious desire that it almost left you breathless. You hadn’t realized just how much you needed this kind of undivided and honest attention. The man licked his lips quickly, before he walked up to you and bent down to cup your face and bring his mouth back to yours. Your eyes fell shut as you let him explore your mouth again, tipping your head to the side when he drifted his lips to your jaw before he tilted your head up to kiss down your neck and throat. Needing more of him, you reached for the buckle of his belt and tugged at it meaningfully. He leaned back a fraction to stare at you with a small smile, which you returned before you attacked the belt with needy fingers. Your heart beats were stumbling over each other at the sight of the sizable bulge in his jeans, making you almost clumsy in your haste to get to see all of him. Your stranger let you work in silence, but you knew that he was watching you. His shirt got in the way of your fingers a couple of times, making you huff and tug it up. 

“Off. Now,” you ordered almost snappishly, which only had the man chuckling in amusement. 

As you finally popped open the top button on the jeans, the man complied with your request and began to undo his shirt. With most of the buttons undone, he lifted his hands to the collar of his shirt to pull it over his head. While he did so, you fully opened his fly and tugged the jeans and underwear down enough to free his length. You took in a shaky breath as saliva pooled in your mouth at the gorgeous cock standing proudly in front of you. Right as your stranger was having his face covered by the shirt while he pulled it off, you dropped to your front on the bed and leaned in without a second thought, sliding your lips around the tip. His hips jerked as he uttered a short curse of surprise, finally ridding himself off the shirt, which he threw to the side. 

“Shit,” he rasped, as you slowly licked around the head, lapping at the nerves surrounding the crown and using your hands to guide him this or that way. 

Using your elbows for support, you took more of him into your mouth, raising your eyes to his as you did so. His fingers landed in your hair, stroking over it in a gentle caress as he watched you with hooded eyes. You bobbed your head, filling your mouth with as much of him as you could. He felt incredible, big and hot, coating your tongue with his taste and making you moan. Tilting his head to one side, he slowly pulled all the way out, keeping himself a few centimeters away from your mouth. You lowered your eyes to his cock, before you met his hungry gaze again, and opened your mouth. Licking his lips again, his nostrils flared as he slid back between your lips, groaning as you sucked him in eagerly. You let him fuck in and out for a few slow thrusts, delighting in the way he was watching you and how he filled your mouth. Which only made your core ache with the need to have him inside you. 

Pulling off with one last lick, you rose to your knees and grasped the back of his head with both hands. There was no need for words as you met in the middle for a heated kiss. He quickly stepped out of his boots and the rest of his clothes before following you onto the bed, the both of you moving back on your knees until you got to the center. With one arm around your back, he lowered you to the mattress and slipped between your thighs. He draped his body over yours but held himself up with one elbow, using his other hand to stroke the fingers over your jaw. The way he stared at you had a warm shiver going through you, which only got stronger as his hand traveled down your body. His eyes didn’t waver from yours as his hand arrived at your mound before it went further. Your lips parted in a small breath as his fingers drew around your slick folds in a gentle caress, only for your mouth to open wider when he gently began pushing two fingers inside you. You moaned softly and bit your lip as he removed them before he slid them back inside. He watched you intently, drinking in each of your expressions of pleasure as you gripped his shoulders while he slowly fucked you with his fingers. 

“Please,” you begged, clawing at his skin when he didn’t move faster. 

Instead of picking up the pace, you felt a third finger pressing in alongside the two others, forcing a sharp gasp out of you. Throwing your head back against the pillow, you squeezed around his fingers, which earned you a low groan from him. He didn’t go faster, though, content to watch you squirm and moan as your hips undulated on their own to get more friction. Finally, he stopped moving, however kept the fingers inside you, and used his thumb to lightly rub it against your clit. Your hips jerked and thrust up into the contact, while you cried out at the sudden shift in erogenous zone. On any other day, and had you been in a different mood, you would have actually loved having his fingers inside you like this, teasing you, but tonight, you needed him to fuck you. Extending an arm towards the bedside table, you blindly grabbed for the drawer. 

“Please,” you repeated, meeting his attentive gaze with your half lidded eyes. “Fuck me.” 

His eyes followed the length of your arm towards the bedside table. He glanced back at you briefly, before he withdrew his fingers from you, which had you sighing in loss but also excitement at what was to come. Quickly rolling to your side, you opened the drawer to get a condom out of it before laying back under him. He held himself up with his hands level with your shoulders now, watching you as you tore the wrapper open and pulled the condom out. He leaned down and placed a long kiss on your lips before moving up again. 

“Go on,” he rasped, the tone telling you that he was at least as affected by the situation as you. 

With your heart slamming in your throat, you peered between your bodies and rolled the condom down his length, licking your lips as it twitched between your fingers when you made sure it was secure at the base. Usually, doing this was something perfunctory, just a step to get to the good part, but with this man’s low grunt as he watched you, you felt yourself burning up even more. Slowly, you shifted your gaze back to his, meeting molten eyes as he lowered himself to one forearm again. He curled his hand under your neck to slip his fingers into the hair at the base of your head, while his other hand vanished between your bodies like earlier, only to line himself up with your entrance this time. You threw your legs over his hips as he did so, and let your fingers run through his hair before closing them in the soft strands on top. His gaze found yours as he pushed inside you slowly, so incredibly slowly. Your mouth fell open on a silent cry as you felt every inch of him inexorably burying inside you. He grunted and hissed when your fingers tightened in his hair, but his eyes remained focused on your face. When he was finally completely inside you, you brought his head down to kiss him deeply and squeezed around his cock to get a better feel of it. He groaned into your mouth and pushed his hips further into you, only resulting in making your head press into the headboard since he was already so deep inside you. While keeping his lips locked with yours, he began to pull out, using the same pace as while moving inside. You moaned and tightly wrapped your legs around his hips, while your walls tried to keep him inside you. He stayed there, with only the tip still inside you. Sucking on his lower lip harshly, you pressed your heels into his ass to get him to move, which he finally did, albeit as unhurriedly as before. He did it again and again, going slow but deep every time, tilting his hips in just the right way and driving you absolutely mad with need. 

“More,” you moaned brokenly, tugging at his hair and shoulders. 

His hand slid down your hair until it was curving over your neck, with the thumb lying at the hollow of your throat. He did move faster then, but it was still too slow for your liking. Drawing your nails down his arms, you keened, halfway between intense pleasure and intense frustration. 

“Fuck me,” you begged, as your fingers squeezed and gripped at his arms and shoulders. “Please, just-”

But the man kissed you quiet. Your eyes closed at the thorough kiss, except that it didn’t last long, since he knelt up and thrust in deep. You cried out, but as good as it felt, he still wasn’t fucking you harder. As you were about to grab his arms again, he caught your wrists and crossed them over each other. You gasped in surprise when he used one of his large palms to press your crossed hands between your breasts, keeping them there with strong fingers. Staring at him with wide and desperate eyes, you whined feebly as his hips gently rocked into yours, making a sharp bout of pleasure run through you. 

“Please,” you repeated for the nth time. “Just… please,” you whispered the last word, feeling your throat constrict. 

His expression was tender as he watched you while he leaned over you. 

“I got you,” he promised in a low tone, kissing you once. “I got you, Sweetheart.” 

The endearment and affection in his words had your heart missing a beat. 

Straightening again, he began moving once more, one hand at your throat, the other still holding your hands secure against your chest. His hips moved firmly; not quick and hard, but firm and intense, letting you feel all of him, while your legs, the only point of you able to do anything, kept pressing the heels into the back of his thighs. You whimpered at the pleasure he was giving you, so utterly different from what you had expected. As your stranger slowly but unrelentingly had your body climbing to its climax, you realized that he wasn’t giving into your pleas because he didn’t want to, but because he knew what you really needed. He’d listened to your story, observed you keenly, let you take the lead. He’d silently taken all of you in to reach this moment and give you what you needed and didn't realize you wanted: letting him take care of you and making you let go of all the negative things that were part of your life. It was with that knowledge that you were suddenly coming, the intensity of your orgasm so strong and so abrupt that your head flew back, your eyes closing tightly, as a cut-off sob spilled over your lips from the overload of feelings. 

“Sh, sh.” 

You felt his body leaning over yours again as his voice drifted closer to your face. His lips moved between your mouth and jaw, placing gentle kisses here and there as he let go of your hands. You instantly wrapped them around his shoulders, holding him tightly as he slid his nose against your neck while his hips picked up speed. Your thighs were trembling against his sides, but you didn’t let go of him, clinging to him as he rode towards his own release. His fingers combed through your hair as another sob ripped through you, which he followed by lifting his face to kiss you fiercely. You welcomed his mouth with gratitude, letting your tongues stroke against each other sensually until he came with a deep groan, his cock pushing as far inside you as possible. 

As you both panted softly, you met his gaze when he slightly leaned up, his eyes moving between yours searchingly. The hand that had been at your throat rose to your face, his thumb stroking away the wetness under your eye. 

“You good?” he asked in a quiet voice. 

You stared at him silently, letting your eyes slide over his face with its warm gaze and worried pull of his mouth. Uncurling your arms from around his neck, you cupped his face and let your thumbs brush over his cheeks. 

“Yeah,” you answered softly, and smiled as his lips pulled up before meeting him for an unhurried kiss. 

After a minute, he pressed a final kiss to your cheek and gently pulled out before rolling to the side and off the bed. You watched him pick up his clothes and leave the room in silence. Biting your lip as you gathered your thoughts while climbing out of bed as well, you grabbed the loose T-shirt you wore to bed from the hook behind the door and slipped it on. With a small glance at the empty doorway, you returned to the bed and pulled down the covers to settle into a sitting position against the pillows, feeling unsure of what to do now. The man came back with only his jeans on, which had you taking a couple of seconds to admire his gorgeous form before you met his eyes. He remained in the doorway, looking as unsure as you. His fingers fiddled with the shirt absently as his eyes dropped to the floor and then to the side. When you had asked him to come home with you, it had been a spur of the moment decision, only done to get all the frustration out of your system. A one-time thing, purposely choosing to keep the encounter anonymous. But you didn’t want him to leave. Not yet, anyway. If he wanted to leave, that was okay, but-

“You could stay if you want,” you found yourself saying, as he still hadn’t moved away from the doorway. 

His eyes snapped to yours, then to the spot next to you, considering it for a second before he nodded a few times. He moved towards the bed and joined you under the covers after taking off his clothes again. Lying down next to him, you faced each other. His eyes traveled over your face again, stopping at your mouth a few times, which had you smiling lightly. At that, his gaze found yours, but you both stayed quiet as you observed each other. 

“Thanks for tonight,” you finally said softly, with a faint smile. 

The man frowned and shook his head as he looked down. “You don’t gotta thank me for nothin’.”

You smiled fondly at his display of shyness. “Maybe, but I haven’t felt this… peaceful in weeks, and this means a lot to me.”

He nodded in acknowledgement and lifted his eyes to yours with a tiny, one-sided smile. You bit your bottom lip as you observed him.

“You really are something else,” you murmured, before chuckling at his unconvinced huff. “No, you really are…” you trailed off meaningfully. 

“Frank,” came the answer after a beat of silence.

Your smile widened at finding out his name.

“Nice to meet you, Frank,” you grinned before sharing your name as well. 

Frank snorted at your antics. “Yeah,” he said in a low and pleasant tone. “Likewise.” 

A second later, a giant yawn split your face, which had Frank chuckling in amusement, while you tried to muffle the yawn with a hand and push at his chest with the other. 

“Maybe we should get some rest, huh?” he suggested with a small laugh. 

You only hummed in agreement and turned briefly to your other side to reach the light switch, sinking the room into darkness with only the city lights coming through the blinds. 

“Good night, Frank,” you said softly, the name sounding private in the small space between your bodies. 

“Night, sweetheart,” he repeated in an almost whisper, shifting closer to press a tender kiss to your forehead while he pulled you into his side. 

[thecharacterchronicler]

Friends With Benefits… And A Baby (Part 2 ) || Sebastian Sallow x Reader || Smut

Outline: You and Sebastian decide to be “friends with benefits” during your pregnancy.

Word count: 2’500

Warnings: explicit smut, (accidental) pregnancy, characters aged up (20s) and probably a few mistakes here and there because English isn’t my first language.

Author’s note: This is the second part of Exams, poltergeists and supply closets, hope you’ll all enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing this little series.

(( Part 1 - Exams, poltergeists and supply closets )) - (( Part 3 - Mandrakes, dusty books & an apology )) - (( Masterlist ))

“What’s wrong with you ?” Ominis asked, as you sat down at the dinner table, after rushing out of the Great Hall when a very smelly dish of fried fish appeared in front of you, the smell instantly making you nauseous.

“I gave her some Bertie Bott’s beans before dinner, guess she ate one that tasted like boogers.” Sebastian shrugged, in an attempt to cover for you but all it did was give you the urge to throw up again.

“I felt ill for a moment but I’m okay now.” You assured your friend, not so convinced by your words yourself. You placed a boiled potato on your plate, the only thing among the various other dishes on the table that seemed edible to you in your almost constant state of morning sickness.

“Maybe we should walk you to the infirmary after dinner.” Ominis suggested, obviously still very worried. “You haven’t eaten much these past few days, it might be more serious than you think.”

“How would you know ?” Sebastian asked, before you could come up with an excuse to refuse paying a visit to the school nurse. Surely, she’d know what’s going with you at first glance and then you wouldn’t be able to hide it from anyone much longer.

“I have ears, Sebastian. You eat loudly like an animal next to me every day and yet I can still hear that her fork and knife are barely touching her plate lately.”

“I’m fine.” You stated, as confidently as you could fake it. Yet, a wave of nausea came to prove you wrong, making you gasp and cover your mouth. You couldn’t decide between swallowing it down and staying at the table or running off to the bathroom once more.

“See ? There’s only so many days she can go on without eating, it could be dangerous.” Ominis pleaded, and Sebastian’s gaze landed on the small potato in your plate, that you were pretty sure you wouldn’t eat anyway. Then, he looked up at you, his expression now as worried as your friend’s.

“Maybe he’s right. Maybe we should get you checked up, just to be safe.”

“I’m fine.” You repeated, once more. The only thing stronger than your all day sickness was the irritation you felt towards your friends at this very moment. You were determined to finish your last year at Hogwarts normally, passing your exams as brilliantly as you could and graduating with pride. The baby that Sebastian put in your belly will have no choice but to go along with your plan.

“The Gaunts are important contributors to the Saint Mungo hospital, if I send an owl I might be able to get a doctor to visit you here if it makes you more comfortable.” Ominis suggested, which brought you to the conclusion that there was no point in keeping it a secret from him any longer. Would he still be insufferably worried about you if he knew the truth ? Probably. But at least he would stop pestering you about seeking medical attention, if only temporarily.

“I’m fine, Ominis.” You stated again, for the third time at this dinner table. He opened his mouth to protest but you leaned closer, lowering your voice. “I’m pregnant, that is all.”

“Pregnant ? That is all ?!” Ominis exclaimed, repeating your words in disbelief before both you and Sebastian urged him to keep it down. You were sitting at the very end of the dining table but students nearby might still catch a glimpse of your conversation. “What were you two thinking ?! Do you have any idea of the gravity of such a situation ? What it means for your future ? By Merlin, what on earth went through your head to let you think that you two absolutely reckless lunatics could be capable of raising a child ?”

“H-How do you know it is mine ?” Sebastian asked him, surprised.

“Oh please, you both can’t shut up about each other when you’re not together.” Ominis retorted, as if it was the stupidest question his friend had ever asked him.

You exchanged a look with Sebastian, both of your faces blushing.

“What were you thinking ?” Ominis asked once more, shaking his head much like you imagined your disappointed parents will when they’ll find out.

“To be fair, not much went through my head the moment it happened.” Sebastian said, smugly.

“You should have controlled yourself, Sebastian !” Ominis scolded him, as you desperately tried to hush him up again.

“Easy for you to say, you weren’t there. If you heard the way she moans when she likes it and felt how wet…”

“Alright, that’s enough.” You interrupted before he got too carried away with very private details. “There’s no point having this conversation, it happened and now we have to deal with it.”

“At least this child will have one reasonable parent.” Ominis hissed, shaking his head at Sebastian, still way too cocky about it all next to him.

You were sitting down on the cold bathroom tiles, your back pressed against the wall, trying to focus on your homework. You barely noticed the door opening until you realized someone was standing in front of you, a concerned expression on his freckled face.

“This is the girls’ bathroom.” You informed him, which simply made him shrug.

“Imelda told me you were here.” He said, approaching and crouching down to your level, taking in the open books on the tiles with an amused smile. “I’m not sure we’ll be able to keep our secret if you move in into the bathrooms.”

“It’s just so I don’t have to run across the castle every time I need to throw up.” You explained. “Nobody will notice, when I told Imelda I had a stomach bug she just told me to stay away from her because she’s planning on winning the Quidditch cup this year.”

“You have friends that are more caring than Imelda Reyes.” He said, making a point. “And you know, I did some research in the library last night and found out that the best way to beat morning sickness is to actually eat.”

“But I’m not hungry.”

“Not at all ? Isn’t there something you’d be happy to eat ? Whatever it is, I’ll go get it for you.”

You smiled at him, grateful to have such a caring friend. Because that’s what he was to you, right ? Just a friend. A friend that happened to be your future baby’s daddy… But still, just a friend.

His traits softened as he smiled back at you, moving to sit on the floor by your side. His shoulder pressed against yours and you found relief in his familiar scent of old dusty books and faint remains of smoke, your nausea easing up a bit for the first time in days.

“Do you need help with…” He reached out to check the cover of the book on your lap. “One thousand magical herbs and fungi ?”

“I do but not yours if I want a chance to get a good grade in Herbology.” You replied playfully, which made him laugh.

“Fair enough.” He shrugged, his hand absently finding yours, letting it rest on your thigh as your fingers intertwined together. “We’ll figure it out, you know.”

“I know.” You nodded, knowing that he wasn’t talking about school anymore.

“And if we look at the positive aspect of it all, it means we can hook up as much as we want to for the next eight months without having to worry about getting you pregnant.”

“Right.” You rolled your eyes at his words, your giggle resounding against the bathroom tiles.

“And there’s no better way to find your appetite back than a bit of exercising.” He insisted, jokingly but you knew he definitely was trying his luck under the guise of making you laugh.

“Do you really think that would be reasonable ? I don’t think that’s something friends do.”

“We can be friends with benefits… And a baby.” He shrugged, unaware of how tempting the idea was to you. His presence next to you was the only thing that had managed to ease your symptoms and, if you were being totally honest, Sebastian Sallow had never looked more handsome than right now, with his sleeves rolled up and his tie slightly loosened, his hair tousled and that odd pride you saw in his smile every time he talked about hooking up with you - and getting you pregnant - that definitely made up for the slight panic you still sometimes noticed in his gaze.

“Okay.” You nodded, breaking the silence that had taken place between the two of you.

“Okay ?” He repeated, his brown eyes widening in surprise. “You… You want to do it ?”

“Yes, why not ? It’s not like I’d be comfortable hooking up with Garreth in the boat house anymore, anyway.” You replied, adding that last part to mess with him, not expecting the instant jealousy that took over his features.

“Garreth Weasley ?! This walking fire hazard…” Sebastian groaned, his hand tightening its grip on yours possessively. You smiled, flattered that your friend cared so much about you.

He was still mumbling to himself some colorful words about Garreth when you leaned in and pressed your lips against his to silence him. At first, you felt his surprise but soon, he kissed you back, his body irresistibly gravitating closer.

“What if someone walks in ?” He asked, when you moved to reach for his pants, taken aback by your boldness. The first time you had crossed the line of friendship with him, you had sounded so shy and cautious that he couldn’t quite believe you were the one with your hand inside his pants this time, fishing for his rapidly growing erection.

You knew you were breaking school rules by doing this. Again. And you promised yourself that next time, you’ll make sure to abide by the regulations and find another location, out of Hogwarts, to have your fun with Sebastian... But right now, your need for him was too urgent to be ignored. The images of that night in the supply closet were haunting you every night, to the point you sometimes could feel his kiss on your lips and his warm touch on your body in the darkness and loneliness of your dorm room. But you knew nothing could compare to the real thing, and having the opportunity to actually see him while giving in to your desires was something you didn’t have the strength to refuse.

“Then they’ll think that we hook up in bathrooms and won’t question why I’m in here that often anymore.” You told him to ease his concern, the heat of his cock in your hand making you wonder if he had a sudden rush of fever. You pulled it out of his pants, shamelessly looking down at it. He gulped and blushed in front of your fascination, your thumb carefully caressing his pink tip, collecting the clear and sticky precum that was already coating it. His cock was still growing, getting longer and harder in your palm, the veins under his flesh becoming more and more apparent. Then, it was your turn to gulp down and blush as you took in the size of it, wondering how you had even managed to take it all in without any pain the first time.

You lifted your eyes and met Sebastian’s gaze, staring at you with still a slight pink blush coloring his freckled cheeks. You had been so bold that he was waiting on you to take the lead and be in charge, this new side of you not helping him control himself and his urge to tear your school uniform off of your body and show you how wild he could get when it came to fucking you.

“Can I see you too ?” He asked, managing to act like a gentleman, although he truly wasn’t one, judging by the amount of filthy thoughts he had about you and what he wanted to do to you on a daily basis.

“Alright…” you agreed, your voice trembling slightly. You could understand his curiosity, after all, he hadn’t seen anything of you in that dark closet a month ago, only felt your body against his but your self confidence wasn’t at its best after being sick for almost an entire month, with your hormones acting up to make it worse.

He carefully reached out, popping open the buttons of your shirt one by one until you were left with nothing but your bra on. He looked at you questioningly, and you nodded, giving him a silent permission to remove it too.

His eyes instantly widened when your bra dropped on the tiles, your bare chest exposed to him.

“I didn’t think they would grow so much in so little time.” He stated, clearly dumbstruck by the view.

Your hand returned to the hard buldge between his legs, perking up at your touch as you closed your hand around it and pumped it up and down a few times, pulling him out of his daze and making him gasp in reaction. You didn’t think it possible but the movements made his cock grow even bigger and larger.

A groan dropped from his lips as he momentarily closed his eyes, as if he was struggling to keep control over himself.

“Sit.” He told you, his voice so low it sent shivers down your spine. His hands flew to your waist, already maneuvering you to get you in a sitting position over his lap.

You held your skirt up, your legs pressed on the cold tiles on either side of his thighs. His hand slipped underneath your clothes so swiftly you didn’t notice at first, until you felt his fingers pulling your panties aside, baring your very wet pussy.

With his other hand still on your waist, he guided you down until you were low enough for his erection to push past your entrance, stretching your walls as you sank lower and lower until his full size rested inside you.

You gasped at the sensation, your hands on his broad shoulders to help you support yourself and he grinned, the hand between your legs moving all the way up to your hair, gripping on a piece and pulling them back so that you’d bare your neck to him, allowing him to plant a few wet kisses all the way down to your collarbones as you still adjusted to his size inside you.

You slowly moved your hips in wide circles, exploring the pleasant sensations it sent throughout your entire body. He seemed to enjoy it too, his breathing instantly becoming ragged and desperate.

When you pushed on your knees, pulling yourself up before sitting back down and impaling yourself on his hard cock once again, you heard him curse under his breath. One of his hands held your skirt scrunched up in his fist while the other found your hip, guiding you in a faster rythym as you rocked up and down onto him many more times.

He pulled you closer to feel your swollen boobs on his face, appreciating the way they moved in synch with your hips, wanting to bury his face between them until he suffocated. Your moans and whimpers were causing his mind to go blank once again, unable to think about anything other than the pleasure you were apparently having while bouncing on his cock.

You dug your nails in his shoulders, the bliss bubbling up in your core becoming so intense it was almost unbearable. You would have slowed down, afraid of the strength of your own imminent orgasm, but Sebastian kept guiding you at an unrelenting pace, his tip hitting so deep inside your core each time that you barely managed to not let out a scream that could have echoed through the castle’s hallways, your body violently shaking and tensing with the pleasure that spilled into every fiber of your being.

Sebastian had been holding himself back from the very moment you pulled his cock out of his pants. In all honesty, he could have cummed in your hand right then and there but he had fought it long enough to make sure that you’d enjoy it too. He wanted to make you feel good as it felt like the only thing he could do to help you out right now, and now that your body had collapsed over him, effectively suffocating him with your plump chest, crying out his name in a way he would never forget, he allowed himself to come too, shooting his full load inside your still pulsating pussy.

“Are you okay ?” Your voice asked him, after a moment, your chest moving away from his face and leaving him cold.

“Of course.” He answered, panting and smiling. “What about you ?”

“I’m fine.” You told him which, for the first time in days, wasn’t a lie. You moved to sit next to him, his spent cock gliding out of you easily, drops of his white release lightly staining his pants and your skirt in the process. “You know, I think I’m kind of hungry now.”

“Ah! I told you it would work !” He exclaimed, excitedly. “What do you want to eat ?”

“A waffle with chocolate.” You told him, without hesitation.

“Alright, a chocolate covered waffle coming right up !” He nodded, immediately jumping to his feet, adjusting his clothes and walking away, determined to bring you exactly what you had requested. Surely, he’d be able to bribe a house elf for a waffle. And if not, he would sneak into the kitchen and cook one for you himself, how hard could it be ?

♡ - (( Tip Jar )) - ♡

[magewritesstories]

[ SPENCER REID ] GIRL DINNER

cw. you and spencer are alone in the bullpen after a long case and you introduce him to girl dinner, guest starring spencer's glasses bc why not. [ fluff ] note. i used what my comprehension of girl dinner is but there's a lot of different opinions on what it's supposed to be. wc. 622

THE BULLPEN IS QUIET AS THE CLOCK STRIKES 11:30 PM. Spencer sat in his office, wondering why he ever took Emily up on the offer of becoming Unit Chief.

The pile of unwritten reports seemed never-ending, and the pile of written ones barely growing.

The man sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, casting a glance out his office window to look at the single lit light coming from your desk, where you're also hunched over a profile.

He quickly checks the time on his watch and gets up.

"You should head home, it's late," he stated, leaning against Luke's desk, which was parallel to yours.

You looked up from the report in your hand. "It's okay, I'm almost done anyway—what about you?"

"That doesn't count, I'm unit chief," he replied with a simple shrug of his shoulders.

"I didn't realize unit chiefs weren't human," you replied with a teasing tone.

Spencer just shrugged. "I told JJ I'd write her share of reports so that she could go home and spend some time with Henry and Michael. What's your excuse?"

"Just looking at the pile of unwritten reports on your desk made me tired," you answered. "I didn't want to add to it."

"I don't mind, you know."

"I know, but just because you don't mind doesn't mean I should take advantage of it every time—besides, believe it or not, I had nowhere to be anyway."

You gave him a small smile that made his heart flutter.

He stayed quiet for a minute (by accident) before quickly clearing his throat. "Uhm, have you—have you had dinner?"

"Sort of," you shrugged. "I had girl dinner if that counts."

Spencer frowned as he said something he found himself saying a lot more often with you around, "I—I don't—I don't know what that means."

You used your pen (pink with a small kitten attached to it—probably from Penelope's 'Batcave') to point at the empty plate sitting at the far edge of your desk.

"I had a small container of yogurt, a cup-o-noodles, and some apple slices," you explained.

"That's just a bunch of different snacks," Spencer blinked in confusion.

You shook your head as you corrected him, "Actually, it's a bunch of leftovers I found in the fridge—don't tell Terry, he's very serious about his yogurt."

"Still not sustainable," he countered with a smile, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.

"It's three out of the five main food groups," you replied with a grin. "Besides, it's not like I eat like this every day. I just didn't want to waste time getting dinner when I wasn't that hungry anyway."

You leaned against your chair, spinning slightly, as you looked at the slight crease between his brows.

"Tell you what, boss," you said, "If my choice of dinner bothers you that much, why don't we go out?"

"Wha—what?" he asked, snapping out of his daze.

You smiled at his flustered expression. "For dinner, obviously. C'mon, my treat, y'know, for being such a great boss."

"I—I—"

"It'll be fun," you insisted. "There's this great Thai place that opened a few streets down from that bar we went to the other day. JJ said you don't know how to use chopsticks, and I would love to see you try."

Spencer shook his head. "I taught myself, actually. I can use them now."

"Great, I guess you can prove it to me," you replied.

"You really think that place is still open right now?"

"Yep, opening hours are from 7 to 2," you answered. "So if we can finish these reports before then, we should be fine."

Spencer sighed before giving you a smile. "I'm going to try."

"Great, it's a date!" you exclaimed as he turned back around to walk to his office.

You were going to give him a heart attack one of these days.

[ginnympotter]

Jily lives au, Harry is a certified mama’s boy and when Harry starts hanging out with the youngest Weasley he spends less and less time with Lily and she’s feeling a little jealous (this is a current situation with my mom and brother. my mom was upset because my brother opted out for our annual Christmas baking session to bake cookies with his girlfriend instead. FYI my dad and I found the whole situation hilarious 💀).

"You literally have a cookie cutter, Gin, it shouldn't be that hard," Harry teased, pushing down a tree-shaped outline tin onto her remaining dough on the counter.

Ginny feigned offense. "Well, excuse me for trying to be creative and make something free-hand!"

"Creativity is for cooking," Harry told her, putting the cookie on the pan with the rest of them and throwing them in the oven. "This is baking."

"Pshhh, it's all the same," said Ginny, giving up and propping herself up on the counter and sitting on its edge. She put space between her legs and gestured for Harry to fill the gap. With a smile, he obliged, putting his hands on either side of her stomach as she leaned in and kissed him. Her mouth tasted like chocolate frosting, and he could feel the flour on her face rubbing off onto his as he pulled her tighter to him, needing this distraction.

To Harry's disappointment, she only let the kiss linger for another moment or two before pulling away. She examined his face, then poked his forehead. "What's going on in there?"

"What d'you mean?"

"I can tell something's on your mind."

"Oh, you can, can you?"

"I'm something of a Potter expert," she smiled. "Tell me what's up, Harry."

He sighed. "Before I left my house, my Mum... she was kind of upset with me."

Ginny gasped. "Lily upset with YOU? What did you do?!"

"What?! I didn't do anything! I just... I just came over here to bake with you that's all."

"That can't be all," Ginny pressed.

"Well..." Harry ran a hand through his hair, a habit he picked up from his father. "Today was our family baking day."

Ginny stared at him with disappointment. "Harry James Potter, WHY did you come here then?!"

"Cuz we already set our plans, and I didn't want to- this is OUR first Christmas a couple and I just wanted- you asked and I guess- ERGHHH I don't know!"

Harry walked away in frustration. Ginny sighed. "Harry, that's sweet and all, but- you could've just invited me over to your house instead, yeah?"

"I.... didn't think of that," Harry admitted, dumbfounded.

Ginny laughed, jumping off the counter and reaching Harry in the middle of the kitchen. "You also just could've told me you were busy and I wouldn't have been upset like... at all? Although I appreciate you wanting to make me happy."

Harry smiled back. "What do I do, then?"

"Go home," she told him, running a hand through his hair herself. "Apologize to your Mum. Make it up to her. Our families are literally having Christmas dinner together anyway. I'll see you then- okay?"

"You're kind of the best, did y'know?"

"I did know, in fact," Ginny smiled, leaning up and kissing his mouth. "Now go-"

Ginny pushed him towards the fireplace. He stole one more kiss before stepping in and flooing home.

***

Arriving back in the Godric's Hollow living room, Christmas music was playing softly from the kitchen. Wiping the soot off his clothes, he stepped into the hall. He could faintly hear his parents playfully bickering, his mother smearing his father's face with frosting.

"Oh no, how will you get all of this off of me? Guess you have no choice but to lick it off-"

"James, just go WASH up, you git-"

"No, no, no, Evans," James laughed pulling Lily close to him. "I need your tongue's skillful expertise-"

Harry coughed purposefully. "Son in the room."

His parents both turned to look at him, surprised at his appearance. Lily let go of James and returned to whatever mess was at the counter, pointedly looking away from Harry.

"Harry, I thought you'd still be with Ginny for a bit?" his father asked.

"Er, yeah, change of plans....Can I help at all?"

"Yeah, sure!" James said cheerfully, walking towards the living room. "Mum's just finishing up with some of the biscuits, we still got some pies to make."

Harry walked over to Lily, who was busying herself. "Mum?"

"Mhm?"

"I'm sorry I ditched the family baking day. I should've just asked Ginny to join us. It was stupid. I'm really sorry."

Lily sighed. "No, no, it wasn't stupid. You're so excited about Ginny, it makes sense you wanted to spend time with her- I shouldn't have reacted in the way I did. I just... I'm not used to doing traditions without you yet."

"And you don't have to-"

"No, no, I do. It's part of you growing up. You're going to make your own traditions one day with your own family-"

"Alright, slow down, Ginny and I aren't married yet-"

"Yet being the key word!" James called from the other room. "Sirius and I are placing bets on how soon you'll be engaged-"

"Shut up," said Harry and Lily simultaneously. They smiled at each other.

"Maybe you're right," said Harry. "One day I will have my own family traditions. But today... I still want to be a part of OUR family traditions. Is that alright?"

Lily smiled brightly at him. "Of course," she said, wrapping him into a hug, kissing the top of his head. "Now c'mon, let me finally teach you how to make this treacle pie on your own so you can impress Ginny with it next year."

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part thirty-one

summary: you were back in the capitol, and you would be damned if you didn't try your hardest to make it worthwhile.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.6k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: heyyyy ttpd has got me fucked up and ALSO guess who heard from her ex for the first time in years?? that's been so dope and not at all causing me to spiral over the last like week :) anyway missed this series so here.

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

"You didn't have to come." You whisper in the dark, the open window doing very little to illuminate the room without the help of the stars.

"Yes I did." Lennox answers you, matching your hushed tone. You roll onto your side so you're facing him, smiling slightly. Sejanus had given you both your own rooms, but rarely did a night go by where you didn't miss sharing that mattress on the floor with your brother back home.

"Did Sej have to convince Ma to let you come?"

"He didn't ask me to come." You feel the pillows shift as he shakes his head. "He told me what was goin' on, and I said I'd be on the next train and that was that." He pauses, chuckling to himself. "I appreciate you havin' your meltdown on the last day of the month, by the way. Was awful convenient for me."

"Yeah, me too." You giggle. "How was your Halloween?"

He shrugs, tucking his hands behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling. "It was alright. Same old."

"Did you do a costume this year?" You ask, already knowing he didn't. Apparently sixteen was too old for that- he was too "cool" for that now.

"Nah." He laughs. "You?"

"Yeah." You whisper, your smile dropping slightly. "I was Juliet, Tigris helped me make it."

"I'm sorry, but that means nothing to me." He chuckles, looking over at you.

"Well, it was an angel costume. We made the wings, and Coryo was supposed to be Romeo. We made his too. I was real proud of it, he was 'sposed to be a knight." You explain.

"But he didn't wear it?"

You just shake your head.

"Prick." Lennox mutters.

"He actually... ruined it on purpose." You whisper. "Poured red wine all down the front."

"Why the hell would he do that?" Lennox frowns. "I mean, I coulda' told you that guy was an asshole, but that's just cruel."

"It was my fault." You admit. "I didn't tell him that couples costumes were a thing until the day of. I didn't give him a choice, and I should have asked if he was okay with that."

"No... No, Y/N/N, don't do that." You feel him shake his head again, dragging a hand down over his face in frustration.

"Don't do what?"

"Blame yourself." He states. "You coulda' asked, sure, but I can't think of a problem he could possibly have with it. That's, you know, actually a valid reason."

"You know how they feel about us here, bug." You say softly, reaching out to push his hair back for him from where it had been pushed down on his forehead. "Sej has never really fit in, and he's been here ten years. I can't expect to walk in and have everything be perfect. Of course he's going to be a little embarrassed."

"But you can expect someone who's supposed to love you to be willing to prove it." Lennox says frustratedly. "You taught me that. So don't go changin' on me now."

"I would never." You smile slightly. "But... real life is different. Real love is different, I think."

"Real love shouldn't be embarrassing." He mumbles. "Not that I know a thing about it, but I think he's an idiot. I mean, I'd wear a matching costume with you tomorrow if you asked. I'd do anything for you."

"I know you would." You smile sadly. There are a few beats of silence between you while you remember all the signs you missed. Coryo telling you the school was strict about physical contact, causing you to turn a blind eye to other students kissing or holding hands in the halls and him hugging Clemensia that very same day. Him telling you to give him space when your only crime was standing too close. The only times he would hold your hand in public being in the backseat of their car or under a desk or table, hidden from view.

"He's lucky to have ya. Hell, we all are." Lennox says after a moment. "If any of these stuck-ups had any humanity they would treat you just the same. I'm not here to convince you to come home, but I think you're better off with us. That's all. At least at home, you're treated normal."

"But I'm not." You reply. "Not anymore. I might as well take this chance to get an education, so I can get a good job and go home and provide for you guys. Dad could retire instead of workin' himself to death in those mines, and Ma would never have to patch another pair of coveralls for as long as she should live. You could do whatever you wanted, bug. You could go to school too if that's what you decide. I could buy you a house, a bike, anything you want in the world."

"That's great and all, but I don't give a shit about that stuff anymore." Lennox tells you honestly. "As long as you're... alive, I guess, we're happy just the way things were. We talked about it a lot. That we'd give anything just to have you back."

A smile twitches on your lips. "I get it." You agree quietly. "But if I can get something for all of us out of having to go through... all of that, I'm gonna take it. Then we can all be together and all the better for it."

"For how long? Until one of us gets hitched and has kids, and then in twenty years we're sending them back here to go through the same shit you did?" He argues. "It's all for nothing. We just gotta make the time for each other while we can."

You chew on your lip, sick at the mere mention of your kids possibly getting picked. Or, god forbid Lennox getting picked in the last three years his name is entered in the reaping, and the number of entries increasing with every passing year. "I suppose." You agree. "But, can you keep a secret?"

He smiles at the familiarity as he looks over at you. "You know I can."

"Coryo is gonna be the next president. I'm sure of it." You whisper. "He's sure of it, too, it's all he's been raised for."

"Forgive me for not feeling reassured by that fact."

"No, but you should." You insist. "He's... He's a good man. He knows how to do the right thing, and I'm sure he'll call off the games one day. He has to."

You can hear your brother's sharp intake of breath. "If he's got you, he will." He mumbles in realization and you nod slightly.

"I think I'll be able to help. To actually do something good if I stick with him." You whisper.

"That's... a lot of pressure." Lennox agrees. As of right now, Coriolanus Snow is far from in his good books. 'If he was, I'd burn my library.' He recalls you laughing over the line in the book, recounting it to him just a couple of months prior. He wants to see you like that again. Happy. Yourself. But if you have to throw that away to save a future of who knows how many children, would that even be worth it to him? He feels guilty for thinking that it wouldn't.

"I love him, Len. I do." You assure him, somehow seeming to track his thought process. "I just don't know... If he truly feels the same way about me. I thought he did, when we were back home. When he came to Twelve, he was different than he is here."

"That's not fair." He replies quietly, deciding that now would certainly not be the time to bring up the fact that if you did end up marrying the future President of Panem, that would mean there would be no "coming home" for you. This, here, a city that tore you apart and left him to try and pick up the pieces, would be your home. He knows that as much as you love him and your parents, you're too noble to give up the chance to spare his children from your fate. He wants to hate you for it, but he never could. "That you have to defend him at all, I mean. You deserve to be angry sometimes, Y/N/N."

"It's fair." You smile slightly. "I just... I was so sure he was the one for me. You know? He cared about me when no one else did, he risked so much for me. You can hate him all you want, but that doesn't change the fact that he saved my life."

"That doesn't mean you owe him your love."

"I know that." You whisper, lips pursed in thought as you pause to figure out what you want to say. "But I think I would love him anyway. More than anything, I feel bad that I put him in this position."

Lennox shakes his head abruptly. "You didn't do anything. He made this decision, that apparently he wants you here, so he shouldn't be "embarrassed" of you, or whatever. Not at all."

"I don't know what to do, bug." You admit quietly. "I don't want to leave him. I don't want him to leave me behind now that the Games are over and done. I feel like for a while it was like... like I was a shiny new toy. And now I'm not clean and fun anymore."

"You really love him?" He asks, and you nod. He sighs, rubbing his eyes. "Then I can't believe I'm sayin' this, but you've gotta talk to him."

You open your mouth to speak, a small smile forming on your lips at his acceptance despite your nervousness about seeing Coryo again. "But don't let him off the hook yet, just let him plead his case." Lennox adds.

"I have to, bug."

"You're too forgiving." He replies, understanding but still disappointed. "I don't want to see you hurt."

"If I couldn't forgive, I would be ruined."

Coriolanus doesn't know what to do other than to go and get you before school come Monday morning. He hadn't heard from you, but Tigris insisted that you just needed your space. So he left a little early, the brisk air chilling him as he stepped outside the apartment building where their car was waiting.

He jumps nearly a foot in the air when he hears his name.

"Coriolanus Snow, fancy finding you here." He abruptly turns to look at the boy leaning up against the cement pillar only a few feet away.

The smug smile on your brother's face at his own joke is only mildly off-putting.

"Lennox. What are you doing here?" Coryo asks, clearing his throat and quickly readjusting the front of his coat. He knew your family- he knew he shouldn't be shocked that if you called, your brother would come running. Now he's just realizing that this didn't mean anything good for him.

Lennox shrugs as he steps away from the wall, a toothpick poking out from the corner of his mouth as he chews on it. "Sejanus called on Halloween. Said Y/N was having a tough time, and what kind of brother would I be if I didn't come to help?"

"That's very kind of you." Coryo states, eyeing him carefully. "So, you've been with her then?"

"Mhm." Lennox nods, smiling proudly as he not so subtly sizes up the boy in front of him. "Should we talk in the car? Wouldn't want you to be seen with me." He winks, flicking away the toothpick before brushing past your boyfriend to let himself into the backseat.

The blonde boy swallows, rolling his eyes before climbing in after him. "You going to school?" Lennox asks, already playing with the switches that roll up the windows and adjust the seats.

"I was going to pick up Y/N. She has class at the same time."

"Oh, she's already there. She got a ride with Sej this morning." Lennox states. "So don't worry, we wouldn't want her to be an inconvenience for you."

Coryo sighs, rubbing his head. "Listen, I don't know what they toldyou, but-"

"Oh, no. You're gonna listen to me now." Lennox cuts him off, suddenly serious as the car begins to move. "I don't know what you want from her. Not anymore. I had a pretty good idea when you showed up at our home unannounced, but clearly, that wasn't enough for you. So, correct me if I'm wrong, but you kidnapped her, right-"

"I didn't-"

"Yes, you did. As I was saying, you kidnapped her, but why?" Lennox shakes his head, eyes wide with genuine confusion. "If you don't want her, if you treat her like she's a burden to you, or that you're embarrassed of her, why would you bother? Was it just to break her again, because The Hunger Games didn't do a damn good enough job?" He hisses, fists clenched together like it was all he could do to not take a swing at him right now. "'My tribute gets touchy when she drinks'... Are you kidding me? You did this to her! All of it! I don't think it's too much of her to ask for you to care when you promised that you would!"

Coryo flinches a bit as his own words are thrown back at him, looking down at his lap in nothing more than shame as it fills him slowly from head to toe.

"It's not like that, Lennox. Not at all." Coryo settles on, shaking his head. "She is the furthest thing from a burden to me. I know it's hard for you to believe, but I want her to be happy. I want to help her."

Lennox looks down at his lap, the act of 'protective brother' crumbling to pieces over the back seat as tears brim at his eyes. "Then why would you take her away again?"

Coryo is shocked by this, eyes going wide as he stares at him. No longer was Lennox only your little brother who puffed his chest and rolled up his sleeves at every given opportunity to take a stab at your boyfriend, he was just a kid. A kid like you, who was completely torn apart by the games even though he had never set foot in the Capitol until the day before.

To Coryo, Lennox looked like he would have made a strong competitor in the same games; had his name been chosen. He was cocky, normally, and that was something that could be made into the spectacle that Dr. Gaul wanted. He would have no doubt done well. Coryo recalls you talking endlessly about your brother before the Games, and he remembered meeting him in Twelve and thinking that he was nothing like what he expected from the way you spoke about him. Gentle. Kind. Selfless.

From his limited interactions with the boy, Coryo only saw anger, distrust, selfishness. But knowing that he had to stand by back in District Twelve and wait for the news of his sister's death, maybe even watch it live, Coryo can now see that not only did it anger and scare him, but it traumatized him almost as much as it did you. The boy sitting next to him was nothing more than a kid who had lost his best friend. Who lost his sister.

"I..." Coryo stammers, waves of realization hitting him like he's run into a brick wall. "I had no choice." He says quietly to spare the driver's ears, and Lennox snaps his head back up to look at him.

Long gone was the sadness that told the story of who he had been while you were here fighting for your life a few months ago. Now, his eyes were ice cold, red from the tears that he didn't let fall.

"You're gonna have to explain before I tear every piece of that strangely white hair from your big head, Coryo."

Subconsciously, Coryo reaches up to make sure his hair is still styled the way he had just done it before he left as he swallows. "You know what happened to that peacekeeper?" He leans closer to say it so they won't be heard.

Lennox is scanning his face for any sign he could be lying. "And Billy Taupe?" He prompts him, the sad look flickering back in his eyes for only a moment. You had told Coryo about the relationship your family had with the Covey children, he hadn't even considered how your brother would handle the death of one of his closest friends without his big sister there to help. He lost you both in one night- that couldn't have been an easy pill to swallow, especially when he had only just got you back.

Coryo nodded slightly, looking up quickly to make sure one more time that the driver wasn't watching in the mirror.

"She was there." He explains it in as few words as possible. "And I knew if anyone found that out, if anyone saw her, the finger would be pointed her way."

"Did you kill them?" Lennox asks quietly.

Coryo shakes his head. "No, but I did hold one of the guns. She's the only reason I didn't. She wouldn't let me."

"Who did?"

"Spruce, I think his name is, but I shouldn't be telling you any of this."

Lennox gives him a solemn nod. "It's fine. I'm the one who hid the guns. Spruce brought them to the house and I ran everything out to the lake that night. Was sleepin' like a rock when Y/N/N came to pack all her stuff, I'd only been home for an hour or so." He explains, wiping a hand over his face as he remembers making that familiar hike in the dark. "They got Spruce, he was done the next day but I promise they'll never find any evidence connecting to you guys."

Coryo nods, internally sighing in relief.

"It's all secrets, now." Lennox adds, and Coryo knows what he means by that.

"What kind of secrets will she find at the bottom of the lake?" His own question is echoed back to him, but now he knows the answer.

"But if I knew it coulda connected you, maybe I would have left them somewhere more obvious."

Coryo doesn't expect the small smile that forms on your brother's lips. It was a threat, but first and foremost it was a joke.

"I'll be honest, I panicked." Coryo admits. "I couldn't just leave her there not knowing what would happen to her. I had to keep her safe, and bringing her back with us was the only way I knew how."

"I coulda protected her." Lennox insists, but the shake in his voice indicates that he knows that isn't necessarily true.

"I know." Coryo agrees anyway. "And I know it sounds like I'm lying to you but I mean it when I say I just want to help her. To give her a better future."

"Maybe," Lennox's jaw tenses and he slightly shakes his head. "But that doesn't mean you can treat her like she's nothin' to you. Especially if you actually care about her, which I am still skeptical of- for the record."

"I do." He assures your brother. "It's just... I don't expect you to understand but it is extremely complicated. There's a lot of pressure on me to keep the impression that our relationship is... professional."

"The hell you mean, 'professional?' She loves you. She loves you more than she should and you don't deserve that from her. Even if you saved her life, she doesn't owe you anything."

"I know." Coryo says again. "You're right. I won't deny that, but I need you to trust me when I say that everything I have to do, I'm doing it for her- so the Games didn't just chew her up and spit her out for nothing. She saved my life- and all I have to repay her with is my name. So I'm trying my hardest to do that."

Your brother is quiet for a moment. "Do you love her?"

"Yes," Coryo answers without a moment's hesitation. "More than I ever thought it was even possible to love another person, and I've known that since long before she ever set foot in that arena."

When Lennox doesn't reply, staring at him and trying to decide whether or not he believes it, he continues.

"I risked everything for her to win. I gave her that scarf, the rat poison, I even put something of hers into the snake tank so they wouldn't hurt her even if they caught her." He explains. "I was told before the reaping that if we cheated to help our tributes, we would have no shot at any kind of viable future but when it came down to it I didn't even consider another option because I could not live in a world without your sister."

Your brother's eyes soften as they find his again, a subtle nod indicating his understanding.

"She's... she's like a book whose pages I never tire of turning. I love her more than I could ever explain to you, Lennox. Please, even if you never trust me again, trust me right now." Coryo pleads. "I would never want to hurt her, and the fact that I have is killing me every moment she is not here."

Lennox straightens up, looking out the window as the university campus comes into their view. "I think she's the one who really needs to know that. Don't you?"

Coryo looks out the window, nodding in silent agreement and chewing on the inside of his cheek as the car comes to a stop for him to get out.

"By the way," Lennox says, that smug smile returning to his lips. "You spend too much time with my sister. 'She's like a book whose pages I never tire of turning'." He mocks his voice, using finger quotations to make his point and polishing it off with a scoff. "Never say anything like that again, Coryo. That's corny, even for Y/N."

Coryo laughs slightly. "Noted." He agrees, pushing the door open.

Armed with the information that you did still love him and maybe your brother wouldn't be hunting him down just yet for hurting you, he heads into the building looking forward to finding you for lunch.

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls , @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie ,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @cascadingbliss

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[writingwithcolor]

Depicting Real World Religions Alongside Constructed Religions

Maya asked:

Hi WWC! Thank you so much for this blog, it's an infinitely wonderful resource! Do you have any suggestions for how I can balance representation of real religions with fantasy religions, or should I avoid including these together? Does the fact that certain things bleed over from our world into the fantasy world help legitimize the appearance of real world religions? I feel like I can come up with respectful ways to integrate representation in ways that make sense for the worldbuilding. For instance, no Muslim characters would practice magic, and both Jewish and Muslim characters would conceive of magic in ways that fit their religion (rather than trying to adapt real religions to fit my worldbuilding). I also have some ideas for how these religions came about that fit between handwave and analogous history (though I realize the Qur'an is unchangeable, so I'm guessing Islam would have come about in the same way as IRL). BTW—I'm referring to humans, not other species coded as Muslim or Jewish. I may explore the concept of jinns more (particularly as how Muslims perceive fantastical beings), but I definitely need to do a lot more research before I go down that road! Finally, I saw a post somewhere (*but* it might have been someone else's commentary) suggesting to integrate certain aspects of Judaism (e.g., skullcaps in sacred places/while praying, counting days from sundown instead of sunset) into fantasy religions (monotheistic ones, of course) to normalize these customs, but as a non-Jewish person I feel this could easily  veer into appropriation-territory.  *One of the posts that I'm referring to in case you need a better reference of *my* reference: defining coding and islam-coded-fantasy

[This long ask was redacted to pull out the core questions asked]

"Both Jewish and Muslim characters would conceive of magic in ways that fit their religion (rather than trying to adapt real religions to fit my worldbuilding)."

Just a note that while having religion be part of magic is a legitimate way to write fantasy, I want to remind people that religious characters can also perform secular magic. Sometimes I feel like people forget about that particular worldbuilding option. (I feel this one personally because in my own books I chose to make magic secular so that my nonmagical heroine wouldn’t seem less close to God somehow than her wizard adoptive dad, who is an objectively shadier person.) I’m not saying either way is more or less correct or appropriate, just that they’re both options and I think sometimes people forget about the one I chose. But anyway moving on—

Your decision to make the water spirits not actual deities is a respectful decision given the various IRL monotheistic religions in your story, so, thank you for that choice. I can see why it gets messy though, since some people in-universe treat those powers as divine. I guess as long as your fantasy Jews aren’t being depicted as backwards and wrong and ignoring in-universe reality in favor of in-universe incorrect beliefs, then you’re fine…

"I saw a post somewhere (but it might have been someone else's commentary) suggesting to integrate certain aspects of Judaism (e.g., skullcaps in sacred places/while praying, counting days from sundown instead of sunset) into fantasy religions (monotheistic ones, of course) to normalize these customs, but as a non-Jewish person I feel this could easily veer into appropriation-territory."

That was probably us, as Meir and I both feel that way. What would make it appropriative is if these very Jewish IRL markers were used to represent something other than Judaism. It's not appropriative to show Jewish or Jewish-coded characters wearing yarmulkes or marking one day a week for a special evening with two candles or anything else we do if it's connected to Jewishness! To disconnect the markers of us from us is where appropriation starts to seep in.

–Shira

To bounce off what Shira said above, the source of the magic can be religious or secular--or put another way, it can be explicitly granted be a deity or through engagement with a specific religious practice, or it can be something that can be accessed with or without engaging with a certain set of beliefs or practices. It sounds like you’re proposing the second one: the magic is there for anyone to use, but the people in this specific religion engage with it through a framework of specific ideas and practices.

If you can transform into a “spirit” by engaging with this religion, and I can transform into a “spirit” through an analogous practice through the framework of Kabbalah, for example, and an atheist can transform through a course of secular technical study, then what makes yours a religion is the belief on your part that engaging in the process in your specific way, or choosing to engage in that process over other lifestyle choices, is in some way a spiritual good, not the mechanics of the transformation. If, on the other hand, humans can only access this transformative magic through the grace of the deities that religion worships, while practitioners of other religions lack the relationship with the only gods empowered to make that magic, that’s when I’d say you had crossed into doing more harm than good by seeking to include real-world religions.

Including a link below to a post you might have already seen that included the “religion in fantasy worldbuilding alignment chart.” It sounds like you’re in the center square, which is a fine place to be. The center top and bottom squares are where I typically have warned to leave real-world religions out of it.

More reading:

Jewish characters in a universe with author-created fictional pantheons

–Meir

[rosinkreutz]

Category 5 Rambling Alert:

If I were writing the Strive story mode, I think I would have had the conflict with Jack'O sacrificing herself to destroy I-No be that only one of the personalities got destroyed and not both... I don't really know why they did it the way that they did tbh, because if both Aria and Jack'O were destroyed, then that's unequivocally bad. But if it's presented as a choice between them, then that's actually in line with the internal conflict of her realizing she's become her own person that wants to live and not just a disposable vessel.

Like, Jack'O would be say "No... This body was made for you... You're the one that Frederick and Asuka want..."

And Aria responds: "This isn't about them... It's about you..."

And they go back and forth until the end of the story.

I-No is ascended, and then instead of Jack'O going to try to defeat her first, Sol does the bit with the Outrage laser pretty much immediately while the others distract her. Except this time, it actually is killing him for real since he doesn't have the FOC anymore. Jack'O is desperately trying to get him to let go of the trigger, saying like, "You can't die! Don't you want to see Aria again?!"

Then Sol says something to the tune of "Have I ever called you Aria?"... He looks at her with so much love and closes his eyes (expecting to die).

But then... He comes back into consciousness and looks around, confused... He sees one of Jack'O's minions sitting where she was, holding a piece of the now broken Outrage. It waves at him and goes "Bye-Bye!" (like in the game), then disappears- to which Sol looks up in shock just in time to see Jack'O hurl herself into I-No to sacrifice herself instead.

About this time Asuka is also waking up (passed out after being turned into a book) to see the same thing, and they both shout and try to stop her.

Time freezes around Jack'O once she reaches I-No. She looks to see one of Asuka's mecha hands just inches away from her back, and Frederick in the middle of trying to stagger up into a run. Here, she talks to Aria one more time, and Jackie finally says something like "I guess I just didn't realize it before... Or I thought it was just your feelings tricking me... But I think I feel... No... I know I really, really love him!"

She finally lets Aria take the SOJ to destroy I-No.

And then she and Sol reunite and hug and what not...

Then a little later, Sol and Asuka have their final confrontation (which is mostly Asuka getting mad at Sol for not wanting to kill him anymore- itd be the first time seeing Asuka show any intense emotion). Afterwards, Jack'O joins them but before anyone can say anything, she just completely decks Asuka and knocks him to the ground. Immediately, she kneels down beside him and apologizes profusely, saying that Aria had asked her to do it before she destroyed herself.

Asuka looks very solemn and understanding (and in pain), but then Jack'O says "But she also wanted you to know that she forgives you..."

At this point Asuka is clearly just barely, by sheer willpower alone, not shattering into a million sobbing pieces. He goes on to reassure her that even though she didn't fulfill her original purpose, he'll always be so proud of her. It ends with the three of them watching the sunrise over a beautiful sea of clouds. That's my vision anyway.

Wait one more thought. The outro credits are shot like they're going around the world checking up on people (maybe like its following a bird? Raven?), and then at the end it starts zooming way, way out and takes us to the moon. Many quiet shots of a desolate Tír na nÓg... Finally, we reach Asuka, sitting alone in a big empty room meant for hundreds. He looks longingly at the Earth through one of the massive windows and says to himself, "This really is the loneliest place in the universe..."

Aimless, he wanders around (very large hallways to make him look even more small and alone) until he enters the main area with that weird floating piano. He gets it to land and absentmindedly starts testing the keys... Then, after a moment of hesitation, he plays the first notes of Freesia, which segues into the song as the screen cuts to the last of the credits.

Then it ends for reals.

[awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce]

Peace At Last

A purely self-indulgent Ten x Reader fic because I just love Ten so much okay! (gif made by me)

Let me know what you think!

Read on ao3

Tagging some people I’ve recently followed who I think might like it: @denaliwrites @tatennant @doctor-donnaa @quite-right-too @theetherealbloom @my-lonely-angel @casasupernovas @kbishop @tennant @raining-stars-somewhere-else @davidtennan-t

Ten x Reader, she/her/hers pronouns, one use of Y/N

(Sorry if this causes pain especially since it’s the last episode with Fourteen and David Tennant as The Doctor today. Wishing everyone so much love and hope you can cope with the pain we will all be experiencing in 5 hours!)

They bumped into each other.

Literally.

He wasn’t looking where he was going, just trying to focus on not collapsing in the street before he could make it back to the TARDIS, and she was coming out of a shop.

This was almost the end.

He could feel it.

He felt it when he saw Rose but he couldn’t let go.

Not yet.

He had one more stop.

He wanted to be near where she lived.

He just wanted to be near her.

One last time.

He didn’t want to wipe her memory but he had to.

It wasn’t like it was with Donna but he knew that one day she would die because of him and he didn’t want that.

He couldn’t bear the thought.

It had to be done so she could live and she never would have left of her own accord. She would never leave him willingly so what other choice did he have?

Especially after trying to change time and becoming The Time Lord Victorious. Look how that turned out.

Adelaide Brooke still died only it was his fault instead of it being an accident.

“Oh shit! Sorry! I should have been looking where I was going!” A voice said.

“No, it’s m-” He knew that voice. His luck really was great(!)

He must’ve paused for a beat too long because she spoke again. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

That was her all over. Always worrying and caring about others (him especially).

“Yeah! I’m fine!” He replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “Just feeling a bit under-the-weather. Winter and all, you know?” His voice didn’t sound like him. It was nervous, slightly high-pitched, and shook a little. He hoped that she didn’t know that there was something wrong.

“I know. You might want to invest in some actual winter clothes though to keep you warm. Converse and winter are not the best combination,” she laughed, looking him up and down at his unusual (to her now anyway) attire.

He could’ve cried and hugged her at hearing the jibe she’s told him multiple times while travelling with him. Instead, he forced himself to laugh and smile at her.

“Yeah, I suppose I should. Maybe one day,” he replied, scratching the back of his neck. A habit that he had developed when he was nervous.

She would have noticed and usually tried to comfort him. But not now. The thought made his hearts ache.

“Sorry but do I know you?” She asked, staring at him with a slight frown. His hearts leapt into his throat. “You just seem so familiar. What’s your name?”

He quickly composed himself before replying with a classic phrase. “No, sorry, I don’t think you do. I guess I just have one of those faces. Name’s David. David Smith.”

She had told him to stop with the John Smith alias as “no-one believes that’s your name. I may as well call myself Jane Doe.” So he had changed it as soon as he wiped her mind. Just in case he ever saw her again and the name John Smith made her remember.

“David…” She trailed off, as if she was trying to place the name, still slightly frowning until the crease between her eyebrows eased. “I guess you do just have one of those faces. Sorry about that,” she finished, smiling sheepishly.

He mentally released a breath that he didn’t realise he was holding.

“No worries,” he replied, smiling to try to ease her embarrassment that he knew she was feeling.

She may not remember him but he still knew her like the back of every hand he’s ever had.

They stood there for a few moments, longer than two seemingly strangers should, just smiling at each other before she looked away, a light blush colouring her already flushed cheeks from the cold.

His hearts ached again and pain filled his entire being.

He would never get to see her blush from embarrassment due to looking at him for too long again.

“I should probably go before the snow gets worse,” she said.

He looked around and noticed that the snow had started to get heavier since they had been talking.

“Of course. Get home safe.” His voice cracked. Home should be in the TARDIS with him.

“You too. Before you go,” she said, putting a hand on his arm as he was turning the leave.

He could feel the pain of having to leave her almost bring him to his knees due to feeling her touch again. It had felt so long since he had felt that and he never wanted her to stop.

He would never feel her comforting touch or her hand in his again and he was starting to break

She was rummaging through her bag and took out a blue scarf. TARDIS blue.

“Here,” she said softly as she leaned up on her tip toes and wrapped it around his neck. “I don’t know why but I just bought this. It’s not really my thing and I don’t have anyone else to give it to but there was something in my mind that urged me to buy it. Maybe this was fate,” she chuckled. “There! Looks great!” She grinned, smoothing out the scarf and his breath caught as her fingers grazed the back of his head.

“Thank you," he responded quietly, tears filling his eyes “Truly. Thank you.” He took her hands in his and kissed the back of them.

“You’re very welcome,” she said, just as quietly as him, and blushed once more.

He let go of her hands and took a step back. He swore that he saw disappointment on her face at that.

He didn’t have time to dwell on it for too long as she had thrown her arms tightly around his waist and pressed her face into his chest, taking a deep breath of him in.

He wasn’t sure if his hearts had stopped completely or if they were beating so fast that he couldn’t feel them beating properly anymore.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, taking in the familiar and comforting scent.

The hug ended as quickly as it had started but before he could feel too disappointed, she had placed her hands on his shoulders, almost wrapping her arms around his neck like the scarf was, and pressed her lips to his cheek.

She stepped back and smiled brightly at him

“Merry Christmas, Doctor,” she said as she walked away.

He was frozen.

Did she just-?

Could she-?

No.

She couldn’t remember him.

Could she?

His brain was working faster than normal.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N,” he called after her before he knew was he was doing.

She briefly turned back and waved, that beautiful smile still on her lips, lighting up her whole face.

“Merry Christmas, my love,” he whispered, turning the corner as quickly as he could to find the TARDIS before him.

He could feel the old girl humming happily in his head and he smiled at her in return.

The image of his love didn’t leave his mind.

Not even as he noticed Ood Sigma.

Not even as he started to feel the pain of death returning.

Even when the Ood started singing to him and he felt himself burning, he could still see her.

Her smile bright and warm, helping him find peace.

At last.

~ A few streets away ~

“Huh. That was weird,” she said out loud.

Shrugging, she entered a café, still smiling and felt a warmth that travelled deep into her soul.

[olderthannetfic]

You've encountered site changes over time as a fan elder, what do you make of Tumblr potentially being put out to pasture? Tumblr was my coming of age fan site, and im looking for advice to transition to the next thing with grace and less bitterness than I feel now.

--

Ahaha. God, you should have heard the howling about LJ. "Fandom is over!" "Never again shall we dwell in fandom's True Home!" etc.

Hell, this endless "only LJ was good" crap turns up in replies here on posts where I as OP have very clearly laid out why that's rose colored glasses nonsense and you can so make friends on tumblr, have a conversation on tumblr, etc.

I had my crabby phase about this during the transition from Yahoo Groups to LJ. A lot of the real olds had it over paper zines and the transition to the internet.

I don't know if reading these hilariously samey old posts would help. It does give perspective, I think.

--

As for what you should do, do what I did with Tumblr:

1.

Look around to identify the Next Thing fandom is going to camp out on.

It may take a few guesses and some time to figure this out. You will likely not be an early adopter. Fandom was well established here by the time I joined at the end of 2010. Of course, by now, all those 2009 and before accounts are long gone, but at the time, I was a n00b joining other people's space despite having been in fandom for ages.

2.

Don't expect to enjoy it

I didn't join tumblr because I liked it. In fact, I despised it. I kept right on despising it until a brief stint in Sherlock fandom, a fandom that was so active here at the time that I was able to finally see the good aspects of the site's structure and features.

This is the mistake a lot of people make. They give things a cursory try, don't enjoy them, and go "not for me", forgetting that the last site also had a steep learning curve that was either difficult or that they didn't notice because they were in a different phase of their life.

Bitterness and grief are, frankly, an inherent part of the process. You can try not to be a debbie downer in your public comments, but you can't just not feel those things during the awkward part of the transition. Sometimes, acting positive and cutting off excessively negative thoughts can make you feel less negative overall, but it doesn't happen immediately.

3.

Accept that feeling cranky and old is both a you problem and a state of mind, not a property of the new site

Relatedly, the way we remember fandom platform X feeling usually has more to do with us being in college with fandom friends down the hall or having discovered Our People for the first time or some other time when we had a lot of energy and positive emotions. Often, we were in the throes of a first or new fandom love too, probably for some megafandom that other people also cared about at the same time.

When fandom is leaving some site, there's a grieving process anyway, but we're also often in a worse part of our lives for starting new things. We're busy. We're tired. We're between fandoms. We feel like we already paid our dues to build up our community. Why should we have to start again?

But let me tell you, you always need to start again eventually. I go to a weekly vidders' zoom chat, and a lot of the people in there are old as balls, including Kandy, the person who invented vidding back in the 70s. She's a lot of decades and a few cancers in, and she had to relearn how to vid on a computer after transitioning from slideshows to VCR vidding back in the day. If bad health, platform changes, and dead friends were going to stop her, she'd be long gone.

It's like sharks: you stop swimming, you die.

This isn't just about fandom, obviously. It's about avoiding a midlife crisis and, later, about avoiding feeling emotionally geriatric even when your body is falling apart.

Change gets us all, but being mentally old is a choice. The real reason I gave tumblr such a try was that I had been so resistant to getting on LJ. I was 20. Even a year later, it was fucking embarrassing to have been a crotchety old hag as a college student. I promised myself I'd soldier through the next change instead of dragging my feet about it. And it totally worked in the end! But boy did it not make the transition any less unpleasant emotionally!

4.

Find your joy

As is obvious from the above, the vast majority of the problem is just emotions. Fandom has been on a million broken sites with shitty features. We go where the people are, regardless of whether it has the technological aspects we liked at the last place. The actual shape of that platform is largely irrelevant.

What does matter is whether we as an individual fan are still excited and happy about something. I was between fandoms recently and went looking around for BL series I hadn't watched yet. People kept suggesting things set in the present day with too-cheesy production values and too many banal schoolboys in modern day settings without even anything spicy going on. I realized that the BL/danmei scene wasn't really cutting it for me and I should go for production values and genre and non-canon ships. You probably scrolled annoyedly past the picspams that resulted.

(Of course, hilariously, someone has now shown me the trailer of Red Peafowl, so someone may be making BL that feels like it's for me after all. Look at all that badwrong and very dark color grading.)

When you're in a good place emotionally, it's a hell of a lot easier to weather any change, and when you have a new fandom, it's a lot easier to connect with other fans.

A lot of people wait around for lightning to strike twice. They found their first fandom by accident, and they expect it to happen seamlessly again. For me, it's far more productive to brute force it: collect up a big list of what's popular or what's new and go through it till you find things you might like, then try them all.

And part of this, obviously, is not waiting for other fans to make the party happen. The more you need to join something other people are already doing, the less choice you'll have in fandoms or in platforms. If you aren't picky and just go where the tropey longfic is, that can work, but even then, favorite authors disappear or go to fandoms you hate and former megafandoms dry up. If you're the one bringing the party, it's a lot easier to find a new fandom or platform or community to have fun in.

[maxislvt]

pls tell us more about omega!wanda x beta!nat x alpha!reader 👁👁

warnings: amab!reader (no gendered terms), smut, omegaverse, sub!reader, dom! WandaNat, pegging, voyeurism, collaring, mating claims, breeding kinks, spanking, threesomes

i said I was gonna sleep but that's nawt happening so uhhh here!

okay so similar dynamic to my usual omega!wanda fics. You're rather soft and sappy for an alpha. since you face a lot of bullying for it, you hide your identity at work and don't really pursue a relationship because you've always been told that no omega would want an alpha like you.

for this I'd like to think Wanda and Natasha are a match made in hell. they're not dating each other yet. they have feelings for each other but both of them are really dominant and lack interest in being submissive so they're hesitant to commit

They both have their eyes on you before they even figure out you're an alpha. at first it's like a game for them. the first one to take you out on a date gets to do all the nasty and inappropriate things they want to you and tease the other for not getting you first!!

however that goes out the window really fast because they realize you're really bashful and it's just too cute to keep from the other. also you tend to turn and run the second you think you'll be alone with one of them for even a second.

Wanda is subtle. the way she touches you seems so innocent and kind that you almost ignore how close she is to your crotch. You usually don't catch on to her innuendos until much later into the conversation. She never forces you to stay but something is always compelling you to stay put and listen

Natasha on the other hand is very bold and doesn't hold back. sometimes you're literally pinned down and forced to deal with all her perverted comments. you couldn't run away even if you wanted to. her intentions are very explicit and there's little room for what she wants to do with you

it only gets worse when they find out you are an alpha. mainly because their nasty little fantasies can get really explicit now but also because they know exactly how to tease you. they never push too hard, but just enough to get you worked up

you don't know that they know but after falling victim to their coordinated attempts at courting, you assumed that they guessed incorrectly about what rank you are. in an attempt to have some peace, you make this grand reveal to them and they're so unphased. in fact, they're more focused on how good your scent is more than anything.

one thing leads to another and suddenly you're sandwiched between the two of them and fucked out of your mind. they don't even let you put up another act about how alphas should behave and keep you spoiled in bed all day until you stop pouting and promise to give them a fair chance

they do make an effort to take you on nice dates and buy you actual courting gifts. they're really expensive and have a lot of thought put into them. some of them are literally just sex toys they wanna use on you at a later date. like the first thing they buy you is a vibrator and lube. the hope was that you'd be curious but too inexperienced to do it on your own and come running to them

they're very horny romantics. so their claim bites on are either layered on top of each other to make a heart or symmetrical somewhere on your body. the choice is yours but I think it'd be the same way on all three of you.

anyways, you guys are a very practical pack I feel. the three of you would love to have everything be matching and constantly do cuddle piles but it doesn't always get to happen. sometimes it's as simple as one of you is on a mission and can't do the cuddle pile. other times it's the simple fact that Wanda likes to wear pajama pants, you only sleep in shorts, and nat typically goes without pants when sleeping.

and I think that practically carries over into sex as well. in my mind Wanda and Nat are a complementary pair. Wanda is soft and Natasha is strict. That isn't to say they can't come together and spoil or tease you though.

if it's just you and nat or you and Wanda, the whole scene was likely recorded and there's a million photos of how you looked.

Wanda prefers to get you really deep into subspace and wait until you're practically leaking through your underwear before stripping you naked and filling your ass to the brim. she'll let you cum as much as you want so long as you're good and let her have fun too

Natasha likes to tease. She'll edge you for hours before she even thinks about pegging you. Nat is not above spanking you just for fun! After she's marked up your skin and left you a sticky mess, she'll spank your ass bright red until you have a hand print

80% of the time they top you together is to spoil you. it doesn't have to be a special event, but they like making you feel good together and watching you make a mess of yourself. they'll stretch your ass out with both of their straps and go for as long as they can.

The other 20% is always a punishment and not even Wanda's pampering nature can save you. If you break their rules, then you have to suffer the consequences. Since Natasha is a sadist and spanks you all the time, they get a little more creative. They fuck each other right in front of you and make you edge yourself with a simple fleshlight.

The only time they let your top is if you're in a rut and that doesn't mean you're not subbing. most of the time, you're breeding Wanda while Natasha is controlling your hips and keeping you in check via a collar.

Natasha likes to watch while you and Wanda fuck out your cycles. Maybe she'll ride you during rut if she's really horny and wants to be knotted but she prefers to watch you try and act all dominant and tough sometimes.

also their straps are enchanted and they love fucking your face. Natasha likes actually fucking your throat but Wanda just thinks you look absolutely adorable on your knees and desperate to please her.

the aftercare is always wonderful. they follow a similar routine even if they're not fucking you together because it's tailored to what they think you need most after sex. cuddles and a bath are mandatory, even if Wanda has to drag you to the bathroom with her magic. if they've tipped you together, they prefer you just go right into taking a nap but they will let you watch TV or play a videogame if they weren't too rough.

honestly they seem like the type to not even consider sex if they know you haven't eaten anything, but they still keep a few in the mini fridge just in case you need something.

[julilovesyou444]

hey baee that last fic u did was so good i literally loved it tysm it was so cute!! i have another request - could you write smth where the reader is the 5th member of the band and tom has lit been in love w her since they were kids, and it’s only when they’re like 16/17 that he finally accepts it and confesses to the reader?? like it’s so unlike him to be all soppy and stuff so he didn’t wanna accept his feelings and he’s like super nervous bc he doesn’t wanna like ruin the friendship or anything but ofc the reader likes him back 😋😋 THAT WAS SO LONG LMAO and super specific again but anyways tysm 💗💗💗

i know you ~ tom kaulitz

ty for requesting bb! I’m so happy you liked the last one!! hopefully this one is okay too! enjoy💗💗 if anyone wants, feel free to request

warnings: swearing, yelling, drinking, partying, kissing, thats it i think ??

a/n~ thank you for 100 followers!! I sound stupid saying that but seriously the support means so much to me, gustav req coming soon!! stay tuned and enjoy this little piece for now💟 also thank you for all the comments and messages, I LOVE YOU GUYS🫶

(okay but angry love confessions >>>)

sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes !!

~

“are we doing anything tonight?”, i asked, laying down on the tour bus’ couch. My legs were draped across bills, he had insisted. We had been on the schrei tour for about a month now. the change from regular life to tour life was insane. we were on the schrei tour, about a couple months or so in. We had a little trouble adjusting at first, we were all getting into a lot of arguments, but now we were fine. Bill and Tom still get into arguments a lot, though. Tom has been acting weirder than usual, and i kinda felt like most of this behavior was aimed at me. It felt like he was distant, and I couldn’t figure out why. I have had a crush on Tom for just about as long as I can remember, but I always pushed away those feelings because I loved our friendship too much, and I didn’t want to confess to him and for there to be a rift in between us. I knew for a fact he didn’t like me back. He had so many absolutely gorgeous fan girls who liked him, so there was no way he liked me. He was also kind of a player. That hurt a little at first, but just like the whole situation, I learned to live with it.

“Uhh, i dont think so. We could do something, though. I wouldn’t mind.”, Bill replied, typing something on his phone. The door to the bus opened, and Tom walked in. The smell of cigarettes followed him. We were waiting on Georg and Gustav to finish up the grocery shopping. I thought he was going to go sit down on his bed, but I was wrong. He was staring down at me.

“What?”, i asked.

“Sit up. I wanna sit on the couch too.”, he said flatly. I groaned and sat up for a second, my legs still over Bills. I looked back and saw that Tom was sat behind me, both of his arms resting on the top of the couch. I fell back onto his lap, my head resting on top of his legs. I felt him tense up under me. He raised his eyebrows at me in a judgy way and I rolled my eyes.

“Who said I’m allowing you to do that?”, he said in a bratty tone.

“Deal with it.”

“I guess I will because it doesn’t really seem like I have a choice.”, he huffed.

“Okay, I’m tired of your guys’ bickering, I’m going to go check on Gustav and Georg and see what is taking them so long. Hans is in the store too, I guess he got tired of sitting and driving all day. I’ll be back soon.”, Bill said, lifting my legs up and letting himself get up. Before either Tom or I could protest, he left.

The silence engulfed us. It felt awkward, and I hated it. I had known Tom since we were seven. He had always been a bit of an asshole, but he was nice too. Lately I had just been getting asshole Tom. He seemed somewhat normal with everyone else, except for me. I started to overthink. Did he find out I liked him? Was he uncomfortable around me now? Did he think I was weird?

“sorry for laying on you, I’ll get up.”, i quickly said as I began to sit up. Tom grabbed my shoulder and pushed me back down into his lap.

“No. You can stay. If you want.”, he said flatly.

“Oh… okay, yea.”

I looked up at him as he gazed back down at me. I couldn’t figure out what was going on with him. What had changed between us? When he was a kid, he would treat me just like he treated everyone else in the band.

“Is everything okay?”, i asked softly.

“What do you mean?”

I could tell he knew exactly what I meant.

“Oh, I don’t know, it’s stupid, nevermind.”, I looked away.

“No, tell me.”, he used his finger to direct my chin back toward him. His eyes were slightly narrowed.

“I don’t know, Tom, you just seem different, that’s all. I feel like you haven’t been yourself lately, but I’m probably just dumb and it’s all in my head.”

He didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry.”, i immediately apologized in fear of making him angry.

“Why? You have no reason to be.”

Everything he did confused me.

“Okay, well, I just feel like you’ve been a little distant.���

“I haven’t been.”, he said. He sounded a little bit annoyed.

“Okay, sorry.”

“Will you stop saying sorry?”, he lashed out.

I froze. He usually never yelled at me. He knew I hated when people yelled at me. No matter what the situation was, if someone yelled at me, I would cry. He knew that. I sat up and he tried to get me to stay. I shrugged him off and stood up.

“Um, I think I’m gonna go take a nap in my bunk, I’m pretty tired.”, I mumbled.

“Just wait-“

“Leave it, Tom.”, i said quietly before walking away and over to my bunk. I heard Tom curse underneath his breath. I laid down, and about a minute after doing so, I heard everyone load back onto the bus.

“Okay, we have about two hours left in our drive to Dresden and then you guys can get checked into your hotel and do whatever you want for the rest of the day.”, Hans, our driver, announced. Everyone agreed.

“Where’s did she go?”, i heard Bill ask. He sounded confused.

“Her bed, she’s taking a nap.”, Tom replied.

“What did you do now?”, Bill teased.

“Fuck off.”, Tom said back.

“Calm down.”, Georg said.

“Can we just go?”, Tom yelled up to the front of the bus at Hans.

I felt the bus start to move. I got under the covers. I was still very in love with Tom, and the way he was acting towards me hurt me so much. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I missed the way things were. I silently cried for a minute, I felt so stupid. He shouldn’t have this kind of effect on me. I hated crying. I felt like a baby. I fell asleep within a few minutes, trying to forget about what was happening.

~

I felt the bus come to a sharp stop. I blinked my eyes open. I could hear Tom and Bill arguing. I couldn’t see them because I was in the back of the bus, but whatever they were talking about, sounded serious. I stood up and walked over to the cracked door. They couldn’t see me, and I could only see a sliver of them.

Bill was standing up, lecturing Tom about something.

“If you like her, why don’t you just tell her??? I don’t get it.”

“I don’t fucking like her, just fuck off.”, Tom spat back at him.

“Yes you do! It’s obvious! You have since, forever! We can all see that you do. We also all see you treat her like she’s nothing, don’t you think that hurts her?”

“It is kind of obvious.”, Gustav trailed off. They were probably talking about one of the many girls Tom was leading on. He always did this. It didn’t surprise me.

“Shut up, Gustav. And so what if I do like her? How is that any of your business? I’m not going to jeopardize the band or anything else for that matter for some silly crush.”

“It’s not a silly crush, Tom. You’re in love with her.”, Bill said. It was silent.

My stomach dropped. So that’s why he’s been acting all weird. He’s in love with another girl. I couldn’t listen anymore. I stepped out the door and stretched, acting like I heard nothing.

Everyone’s eyes darted to me.

“Good morning, everyone! We are here?”, i said as cheerfully as possible. I wanted to play it off like I was completely fine and like the boy I’ve been in love with since I was seven wasnt in love with some other girl I didn’t even know.

“You just woke up?”, Georg asked. Everyone looked a little worried.

“Yea! Your guys’ fucking yelling woke me up so I figured you were probably arguing over the set list, of course you were dicks are deciding without me so I wanted to come and help choose.”, I laughed. Acting skills, on point. The band looked relieved.

“Well, if that’s over then let’s go get settled into the hotel.”. I suggested. Everyone nodded.

Hans went into the hotel lobby and got us checked in while we unpacked all of our stuff onto caddys. He came back, handed us our keys and told us our floor and room numbers. Georg and Gustav shared a room, as well as Bill and Tom. I had a room to myself, it had always been that way.

We took our stuff inside and went up the elevators into our hotel rooms. I unpacked my stuff pretty quickly before going over to Bill’s room to try and make plans for tonight.

I knocked on their door. Tom cracked it open and squinted his eyes at me before opening it all the way. I pushed past him but he grabbed me and pulled me back.

I furrowed my brows at him and tried to continue walking, but he wouldn’t let me.

“Can you not be so stubborn and just hear me out?”, he said. I stopped trying to get out of his grasp and crossed my arms over my body. I widened my eyes and shook my head a little, giving him a cue to start talking.

“I didn’t mean to yell at you earlier. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s with me lately, but you’re right, i havent really been myself.”

I sighed. I didn’t want him to feel bad, especially for loving another girl. It was rare that Tom genuinely liked someone, and I didn’t want to get in the way of that.

“I know why, Tom. Its okay, I understand now. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or something. I wont get so close to you anymore.”

He looked so confused.

“Wait what? What do you mean ‘uncomfortable’? And I never said I didn’t want you close to me? What are you talking about?”

“Tom, I know you. You’re like my bestfriend, its okay. You don’t have to keep secrets from me. And im not gonna be upset if you don’t want me to be as touchy and stuff with you. I wouldn’t want to do anything to affect your relationship or whatever you are deciding to call it.”

“What are you talking about?”, he asked. He was acting so shocked. Then Bill walked out of the bathroom. Since he clearly wasn’t comfortable with telling me about the girl he was in love with, I wasn’t going to push, so I changed the subject.

“Bill!”

“Oh, hi!”, he smiled, noticing me.

“I was thinking, what if we went to a club tonight?”

“OH MY GOSH, YES!!! please! I need to party, I’ve been so drained from always doing shows, that would be just what I need. you’d come too, right, Tom?”, Bill asked.

“Yea, I guess.”, Tom nonchalantly replied. He acted as if he was too good for that stuff.

“Go tell Georg and Gustav.”, Bill instructed.

“Why do I have to? Why can’t you?”, Tom complained.

“Because you know I take the longest to get ready! It’s getting late already so I’d like to leave sooner than later.”

“Ugh, fine.”, Tom said, rolling his eyes before leaving the room.

“What’s his deal?”, i asked.

Bill hesistated.

“Uhh, i dont know, he’s been weird. Tom will get over it soon though, don’t worry.”

“Oh, okay… it doesn’t have anything to do with me, right?”, i asked, trying to slyly investigate.

I saw Bill physically get taken aback.

“Uhhhhh no! No, I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”

“Uh i just feel like he’s been acting weird towards me I guess. We used to like jokingly flirt and be pretty close but we don’t ever really do that anymore and it feels kind of weird, but I think I know why.”

“Oh… and why is that?”

“He’s in love with somebody. I don’t know who, but it’s probably one of the girls he’s slept with. I think Tom just feels weird with me being how I used to be like with him because he is in love with her, y’know what I mean?”

“Wait-wait, where did you get this from?”, Bills mouth was agape.

“Don’t be mad but I heard you guys arguing on the bus. I heard only part of it. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything, but obviously the rest of the guys know and Tom is refusing to tell me too. He doesn’t know I already know, but I don’t really understand what is stopping him from telling me.”

“Oh… I see.”, Bill said, contemplating his next words.

“I think he will tell you when he’s ready, I think he just wants you to approve of him and he thinks highly of you. I also think you make him a little nervous.”, he finally added.

“Me? Make Tom nervous? Funny, but no way.”, I laughed. Bill made a face and shrugged.

“Okay, I’m gonna go get ready, I’ll see you in like 45.”, I said, turning for the door.

“Wait!”

“Hm?”

“I have a question, answer honestly, please.”

“What is it Bill?”

“Do you have feelings for Tom?”

I could feel myself immediately get flustered and my cheeks start to get red. Fuck fuck fuck.

“What?”, i laughed awkwardly.

“Please, I’m your bestfriend, you can tell me if you do.”

“Why do you even think that? Tom is my best friend just like you are.”

“You aren’t denying it.”

“Bill, please.”

“Do you?”, he asked again.

I gave him pleading eyes, asking him to leave it alone.

“Bill…”

“You can tell me anything. I wouldn’t judge you at all.”, he placed his hands on my shoulders.

I sighed again. Even if I said I didn’t, I knew Bill wouldn’t believe me.

“Maybe?”, i scrunched my face up a bit.

Bill smiled.

“Why are you so happy?”, i asked, unclear on whatever was going on in his head.

“No reason…”

“Please, Bill. Don’t say anything to Tom. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, he means too much to me. And I don’t want to get in the way of his relationship with this girl.”

Bill smiled at me again. He shook his head.

“I promise I won’t. And if I were you, I wouldn’t worry about another girl.”

“I thought he loves her though?”

“Just dont worry about it, go get ready!! And look hot! Not that you don’t already, but go get more hot!”, he said pushing me to the door, a smile permanently engraved on his face.

“Bill- wait Bill-“I stuttered as he pushed me out the door.

“Hm?”

“Please, I’m serious. Don’t say anything.”

“I won’t. Boyscouts honor.”, he held two fingers in the air before slamming the door in my face. I was greeted by Tom leaning against the wall. I flinched, I hadn’t seen him because he was standing behind the open door. His arms were crossed over his chest.

“Jesus, fuck! You scared me.”, i yelled.

“Don’t say anything about what? What were you guys talking about?”

“Nothing.”

“I hate when you keep secrets from me.”

“You’re one to talk.”, i replied, defensively.

“What? Was it about me? Are you embarrassed or something?”, he took a step closer to me, his face now adorned with a smug grin. I scoffed.

“Get over yourself, Tom. The world doesn’t revolve around you.”

“Maybe not, but sometimes I begin to think you do.”, he teased.

I rolled my eyes and turned around to go to my hotel.

“Be ready soon!”, he called after me as i slammed the door.

~

Bill banged on my door, for the third time in the last five minutes.

“HURRY UPPPPP”, he groaned. I finished zipping up my shoe before opening the door. Bill looked annoyed but as soon as he saw me, his face lit up.

“Oh. My. God.”, he said, looking me up and down.

“You like?”, i asked, already knowing the answer. I was wearing a denim mini skirt that was way too short, a black lacy top that had long belle sleeves with a pretty cleavagey v-neck. It was cropped perfectly to display my belly button ring. I of course had a ton of jewellry on too, with a bit of makeup as well. I wore platform black boots that went up part of my calf. They were leather and I had been gifted them, but I rarely got the chance to wear them.

“Obviously!”, bill exclaimed.

I walked out to see the rest of the band waiting in the hallway. They all looked a little shocked when they saw my outfit. I usually didn’t dress-up too much, mainly because I didn’t have the confidence to do so. I decided to just let go and have fun tonight.

I walked past them and they just stood there. I clicked the button for the elevator and looked back at them down the hallway.

“Are you guys coming or…?”

They scurried down the hallway and got into the lift with me. We decided to go to a club that was only two blocks away. It was a pretty popular club, and we usually got into most clubs that we tried to because of our status in Germany. The bouncer recognized us and let us skip the line. Perks of being semi-famous I guess.

The music was so loud I could barely hear my own thoughts. Bill grabbed my hand to pull me away and get drinks. I turned away and grabbed Tom’s hand, dragging him along with us. At first he just let me hold his hand, but then he held it back, letting Bill and I lead him through the crowd of drunk people.

Bill ordered us all shots. Tom watched as i downed mine, and drank his not long after. Bill snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me away to the dance floor. We danced for a little before some random girl took it upon herself to steal him away. I couldn’t really blame her though. I danced by myself for a little but got bored and decided I wanted another drink. I made my way over to the bar and ordered a drink I saw another girl have. I began to drink it slowly, looking around. I made eye contact with a guy. He was by himself, looking me up and down. He smiled and i smiled back. He had to be at least 22. He approached me and asked if he could buy me a drink, despite me not even being close to the one i just got myself. I told him that if he wanted to, he had to dance with me first. He agreed, and we went over to crowd of dancing bodies.

At first, it started pretty innocent. Just giggling, drinking, and dancing. He started to get touchy, putting his hands on my waist. He had them slowly go from my waist, downwards. I would pull away whenever he got to close to the one thing he wanted, but no matter how many times I pulled away, he would always try to do it again. I looked over and was met with Tom’s eyes. They were staring at me, a sort of gross look on his face. Was he really that disgusted by me?

“can I get you that drink now?”, he winked. I internally cringed but said yes. Free drinks? Fine by me. He ordered me something, but nothing for himself. As soon as the drink was in my hand, he was urging and pressuring me to drink if. I did. Another drink, same deal. I downed the drink, wanting him to just leave me alone about it. Even though I told him not to, he ordered another drink. I tried to push it away, but he kept pushing it towards me. Finally, he put the drink down. I tried to back up, but he pulled me into a sloppy kiss that I wanted no part of. I tried to push him off but he was too strong, or maybe I was just to tipsy.

“get off of me.”

“please, stop”

but he wouldn’t.

“I don’t want this-“, i started, yet another plea for him to stop. a pair of hands yanked me back. before i could even see who it was, I saw Tom step in front of me and push that guy into the bar counter.

“She told you to get off her you fucking pervert. Is getting girls drunk enough so they hook up with you your only hobby. Pathetic.”, he spat. The guy looked like he wanted to say something back, or fight Tom, but he just cursed under his breath and stumbled away. I felt embarrassed. I shouldn’t have let myself get in that situation.

“Thank you.”, i mumbled to Tom. He shook his head.

“Just stop. You’re really fucking stupid sometimes y’know? Putting yourself in dumb situations like that.”, he rolled his eyes as he walked away. I wasn’t going to let him be that rude and just walk away, so I followed him. I watched as he weaved through people. I followed hom, but not to closely. I saw him open a door and go in before practically slamming it. It was too loud for anyone to even notice. I waited a minute before going into the door as well. There were a few flight of stairs. I climbed up them. I had finally made it to the top. I opened the door. The roof.

The cold air hit my face as I stepped out, the smell of cigarette smoke filling my senses. I saw Tom, standing towards the edge of the building, smoking as he looked out at the city. I began to walk over to him. The gravel crunched underneath my boots, making him turn around.

“What the fuck is your problem to me? You’ve been such a dick and I haven’t even done anything. I just want for things to be normal.”, i said, angered.

“They aren’t normal.”, he said, taking a puff of his cig.

“And how is that in any way my fault? I haven’t done anything to you, yet you are treating me like shit. You loving some girl doesn’t mean you can act like that, it doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

“It has EVERYTHING to do with you!”, he shouted.

“What the fuck did I do?! I don’t understand what I did to make you despise me so much! Why do you hate me so much?!”, I yelled back.

“I don’t hate you, I’m in love with you, you fucking idiot!”, he yelled. His eyes widened at his own words.

I was so confused. It didn’t feel real. I could barely comprehend what he had just said.

“What?”, was all I could manage to say. He looked so nervous, his hands shaking.

“I’m fucking in love with you, okay?? I have been ever since I’ve known you. I’ve tried to push it away, I’ve always denied it, but i cant anymore. I’ve tried everything and I can’t! I’ve slept with countless girls but the only thing I’ve ever been able to think about is you. You’re always on my mind and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get you out of my head. I’ve been being mean to try and distance you from me and make myself stop loving you but it’s fucking torture and it’s stupid and it hasn’t even worked in the slightest. Bill told me you heard us on the bus, it wasn’t some girl, we were talking about you. Its you, and it always has been. I feel sick when I see you with other guys, I get so jealous I can barely handle it. All I’ve ever wanted is you, and not having you is killing me. I’m sick and tired of pretending like I don’t love you because I do! Hate is the last thing on this earth that I feel about you. I love you so fucking much, and I’m sorry for treating you the way I have been.”, he yelled.

I could hardly believe anything I was hearing. Tom Kaulitz? In love with me? This is a prank, right? It felt like a dream.

“Are you serious?”, i asked.

“Really? After that long ass rant or about loving you, you don’t believe me?”, he dryly laughed.

“Tom, im serious, please…”

“Yes, I’ve never been more sure on something in my entire life.”

“Why now? Why haven’t you said anything?”, I asked, still unsure.

“I wanted to, but I didn’t know how to. We would flirt, but you always took it as a joke. I wasn’t joking. I loved you so much as a friend too, I was scared that if I told you, I would lose you. i also hate talking about my feelings and shit, i feel so stupid whenever I do.”

Part of me was still processing everything. Boy I had been in love with forever, loved me back. In the exact same way I loved him, he loved me. I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“fuck it, i love you too. I’ve been in love with you since we were like eight, and I never said anything because I thought I had no chance with you and I didn’t want to make things weird. The only thing I wanted was for you to stay my friend and for you to like me. When you started acting like you didn’t, I felt horrible and I felt like there was no hope for anything for us. I acted like I didn’t feel anything for you because all I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. Even if it meant you being with someone else. I love you, Tom.”, I rambled.

He closed the distance between us. He placed his hands on each side of my jaw, his thumbs slowly caressing my cheeks. I could feel myself get goosebumps, staring up into his dark eyes.

“you were going to let me be with someone else so I could be happy? even if it meant you weren’t?”, he softly asked. I nodded.

“what did I ever do to deserve someone so sweet liek you?”, he murmured. His eyes glanced down at my lips. He took one of his thumbs and pulled it across my bottom lip, tugging down at it gently.

“God, you don’t even know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you.”

“How long?”

He laughed.

“Forever. I want to kiss you now more than ever.”

“Prove it.”

He chuckled at my boldness. Tom leaned in, our noses brushing against each other. I couldn’t stand the teasing anymore, I had waited too long. I dipped his face and pulled him down. Tom, smiling into the kiss at my neediness. It was so passionate, I could kiss his mmm forever. Our lips fit together like puzzle pieces. I pulled him in more, unsure if he was even able to get any closer than he already was. he tasted like Marlboro Reds and liquor. I loved it, I couldn’t get enough of him. One of his hands found its way down to my waist, while the other one tangled itself in my hair. He tugged ever so slightly, earning a soft groan from me. Tom smiled at this, getting the exact reaction he wanted. He pulled away, our foreheads resting against each other.

“fuck, you look so pretty. I wanted to tell you how good you looked earlier tonight but i was too scared.”, he mumbled. I smiled, the sweetness that I had missed was returning to Tom. I pulled him back into another kiss, the first one being incredibly addicting. Our tongues fought for dominance, of course he won.

The door to the roof swung open, startling both Tom and I. We attempted to pull away, but I before I could even see who it was, I heard Bill’s voice.

“I was looking for you guy- OH MY GOD.”, he said, a little shocked. his face quickly turned into a smile.

“What took you guys so long?”, he teased.

“Oh shut up.”, Tom laughed, his hand now around my waist.

“Well, I ordered us some more shots, so… c’mon. you guys can finish whatever this is later.”, he smiled, waking back into the building.

“let’s go inside.”, i said.

Tom kissed me again, this time with the full intent of being sweet and gentle.

“it feels weird to say out loud now, but I love you.”, he said into my ear. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I looked back up to him, seeing the very boy that i fell in love with all those years ago.

“I love you, too.”

~

a/n #2 ~ THIS WAS SO LONG IM SORRY. also sorry for this taking so long the first one I wrote DELETED😕 I’m on vacation right now but I hope you guys enjoyed this long ass story.

[mandy-asimp]

Forever home

Melissa Schemmenti x reader

Warning: hurt, lots of crying, yelling, throwing things, miscommunication, insecurities, a few swear words, fluff at like the veeeerrrrry end

A/n: I'm sorry if I forgot any warnings, I didn't proof read, I literally had this idea off of like a spurr and just started going

"You tanked Janine! Took the whole school with you! It was impressive." Melissa poked at the younger teacher. Not knowing you were walking out the building.

"Leave the poor girl alone, she tried to help." You stood behind the red head. "Janine I think you made a choice and it didn't give you what you wanted, but it's nice that you care so much." You didn't look at the two, focusing on your class before you threw a water balloon at one kid.

Your class lit up and you took the to the open park across the street. Missing the rest of the conversation held between the two.

Today you wore a white top, not really planning to be playing in water today. So while your class left, you were in your classroom. Soaked to the bone.

The knock on your door made you head snap up. "Oh! Hey Janine?" You flashed a smile. "What can I do for ya?"

"I just wanted to say thank you. For the words you said earlier. You really had my back. And you know how Melissa is." She stood cautiously by your door.

You furrowed your brows, "Janine why are you just standing by the door? You're free to come in more. Hey did you eat today?"

"Im fine I was just stopping by. And I was gonna wait...but I should eat now since I'm hungry." She nodded like it was some new discovery.

"Well it's me and Melissa, but I also know Gregory is going out if you wanna go with him. You wont get bullied by Melissa." You joked. Still drying out your shirt.

Janine watched for a second. "You and Melissa? What's that all about?" Her curiosity peaked. "Also I have an extra shirt if you wanna change?"

"No I'm good, I have to go home to change anyways. And me and Melissa? We're just friends I guess." You played it down. "She was the teacher I began with. She made me like it here a lot and then during the pandemic, she let me come stay with her and her husband. I usually had headphones playing loud music so they had time together. She got mad at me for it a lot cause I never came up for dinner."

"You lived with her?! How did you manage?" Janine was baffled by the new found information. "Does that make you like the second person who knows so much about her? After Barb?"

You shrugged and didn't see harm in talking about the past a bit. "She gives you a hard time cause your new."

"Ok but that doesn't explain how you went from her student teacher to living with her?" Janine pushed. She needed to know what was the reason for the favoritism.

"Are you ready?" Melissa's voice came from the door way. Ending the conversation entirely. The 2nd grade teacher in front of you frowned at the nasty look the older gave. "Still can't believe you tanked. Like the whole school Janine. The. Whole. School."

"Melissa," You warned lowly. Getting into a short staring match with her. Which you won with a smile. "I have to run home and change, but then I'll be there for dinner."

"Whatever." She scoffed and walked away.

You had to take a deep breath before having to deal with her. "Janine, just don't listen to her. She's clearly just upset you took whatever fish she had in the fridge. She'll find something new Monday. Have a good weekend." You led her out the room.

Once you got home, you could find no sight of Melissa. No car in the driveway, no opened wine, nothing. You tried to call her, but got the voicemail. Five times. You looked for her location, but got her at the school.

With one last call, you changed and just went to the restaurant. Sitting at the table while dressed in your best. But after waiting for half an hour, you decided to just go home. Tipping the waiter for putting up with you and holding up a table.

You felt embarrassed. There was also anger and fury in you. You called Melissa while on your way home, leaving a voicemail. Going on about how when she's ready to pull her head out her ass and talk to you, you'd be ready.

What you didn't expect was that to lead into tomorrow.

Staurday.

You woke up in a bed alone. It had been years since this feeling. You groaned in frustration and went looking through the house. Not any trace. No note. No car. Nothing.

You let it play out, maybe she just went out early and would be back before noon. Constantly checking your phone to see if anything would come from her.

By five you were at Barbs in tears. You explained you hadn't seen her for twenty-four hours now. How you got nothing from her but she left Friday with a scoff.

That night you stayed at the kindergarten teachers house. Her and Gerald being the nicest people to you while in such a state.

Barbra had watched you two fall in love. The first year you two worked together, she knew you were the one. So seeing you crying over such a thing hurt her. It enraged her that her friend could do such a thing.

That night, before dinner, Barb tried calling Melissa. Getting the voicemail, and she wasn't going to call back. She explained calmly but with so much venom about the harm she's caused. How you can sobbing to her.

"Why don't you come eat with us? Get something in you?" She offered to your lifeless body. You were so numb you couldn't. You just shook your head. "Y/n, sweetheart, please. I know it hurts but you have to get something in you."

"What if she never comes back?" You whispered out. "I don't know what I did. I...I don't know how to control this. I was angry. So so angry at her for standing me up. But now I just I want her home. But what if she doesn't come home?"

Barbra hugged you. She held you on to you tight. Feeling you tremble in her embrace. She held you until your cries subsided. Holding you even through uneven breathing and the soft sniffling. Scared that if she let go, you'd think you had no one.

"Come on, we can make plates and eat on the couch tonight. Watch your favorite?" She offered. Seeing the smallest sparkle in your eyes. "I'll make you a small plate, and if you want more, you can grab more."

You nodded and mumbled a thank you. Slowly trying to find The Devil wears Prada.

Sunday.

You woke up on the couch. Frowning that you still had no sign of Melissa. You cleaned up your stay and wrote Barbra a note thanking her for everything and saying you'll see her Monday.

On your drive back you stopped at the store. Desperate to find something to distract you for another day.

You picked up a Lego set, one that you didn't need but knew it would take your entire day.

Driving home, you had a large pool of hope to see her car. It hurt you to know that you were getting hopeful for the worst. And then it hurt when you didn't see the red truck. That red truck that you had star gazing dates in. That red truck that you've made out in. That red truck. Tears streamed down your face when you got inside.

They kept falling as you showered and changed. You wore one of her sweatshirts and a pair of shorts. Crew socks protecting you from the cold floors. They felt colder than normal. The whole house did.

It was empty.

Your Sunday was filled with movies, legos, and multiple water bottles. Your phone next to you as you desperately awaited a call or a text.

Monday.

You woke up to rustling. "Mel?" You quietly called. Voice being dry and hoarse from sobbing yourself to sleep. You sat up and rubbed your eyes. "Melissa?" There was no one, it was still dark in the room. The tv being the only light.

"I'm sorry, but it's just me. You weren't answering my text about if you were awake." Barbra's voice came through the dark.

You stayed silent as your lip trembled. Tears rolled down your face. "I...Barb." Was all you could say. She nodded and walked over. Pulling you from the bed and hugging you.

"Why don't you get ready and I'll drive you to work today?" She held your face, her thumbs wiping your tears away. "We can even stop for breakfast."

You nodded and got ready. Not putting much effort in, and everyone knew when you walked in the morning.

Your hair was freely down and you were in jeans. But you hardly wore jeans unless it was Wednesday or Friday. And the button up that belonged to Melissa was untucked. Your socks didn't match. You had your glasses on and hardly any makeup.

You moved in silence while in the lounge. Head held down and picking at your nails until the coffee was done. You took it straight and walked silently to your class. Not coming out until you had to print your papers for the day.

Ten minutes before she's counted late. You counted those second that made up the time. Once the kids came in and she didn't, you rushed back with your papers holding in your tears.

You sent her one simple text. Turning off your phone for the morning and masking everything for your kids.

Thankful that gym and lunch was back to back. Giving you an hour and a half or so to cry. It was only three minutes into that time before Barbra was comforting you again.

You had cried so hard that you had to throw up. You were surprised by yourself today. You've never cried this hard. Never. And now you were dry heaving.

Barbra was leading you down with your head buried in her side. You could hear her say something, but you couldn't bear look at who she said it to.

You knew who it was, especially went you felt your heart get pulled back. You wanted to run to her. To cry into her knowing she was safe and she was here. Yet, you couldn't. You just let Barbra walk you to Ava. Leaving you with her.

Ava, when she cares, she get serious. And seeing you, one of her more valued workers, made her serious.

She held you for the rest of the time you had. Letting you cry into her shirt. She didn't care you were soaking it with sadness, she just wanted you ok.

Once your time was up, you wiped your face. Giving a final hug to your boss before trudging to the lunch room.

When you opened the door, your heart wanted to burst. The overwhelming emotions seeing her talking to your class. You mustered it all up, ignoring her entirely as you collected your class.

On the verge of tears when your hand brushes against hers. A shaky breath left your body when it happened.

The rest of the day you stayed in your class. Feeling relieved when your kids left and it was just you.

A few tears fell out your eyes as you packed up. Taking in your silence as you left the building. You didn't stop and talk to anyone. Just walked out to your...Barbra.

You instantly spun in your feet, ready to head back but there she was. Not Barb, no Melissa. You wiped away the tears that started falling faster. "Shit," You whispered in annoyance. Making a beeline to the eldest teacher

Barb was expecting you. But not with this many tears. "You know you can't avoid her forever. She's hurting just as much as you are."

You nodded, knowing she was right. "It just hurts to see her after being completely ignored. I just...I couldn't even figure it out."

"Well, I'll drive you home." She knew you didn't want to get into it. She knew most of it already anyways.

When you got home, there was no truck again. Barbra asked if you were going to be ok and you had to be. You couldn't keep her forever so you just nodded.

When you got in, you poured a glass of wine and changed. Balling up on the couch and watching another movie.

Waiting for that door to open again. Needing her walk through the door tonight. If she doesn't you might died.

Tuesday.

You sat in the teachers lounge this morning. Not letting tears get you today.

"Oh! Y/n! Its good to see you! Where were you yesterday?" Janine came in, a bright smile on her face.

You hummed, "busy morning. I got nothing done over the weekend." The lie fell from you with ease. "And its good to see you as well Janine."

Everyone else began to fill in. And you could sense when Mel came in. You could sense her any day.

The morning was quiet with you. You didn't sit next to Melissa, instead you sat next to Janine. Listening to her watch videos for the wish list.

"Janine, I swear if I hear one more preppy video," Melissa turned in her chair. "You should put a pair of headphones on that list."

You gave a quiet scoff. "Janine, I wouldn't stress it. I think it's adorable how you're making a video for your classroom needs."

Melissa looked at you next, right before turning while shaking her head. "Well maybe you should just date Janine." She whispered so quiet only Barb heard it, and you could tell it.

"Melissa!" Barbra scolded, never seeing such a side of her friend. Her brown eyes quickly jumped to you. "Y/n..."

"No. If she wants to be immature and childish, the so fucking be it." You collected everything and rushed out. Tears burning in your eyes.

The rest of the day you avoided everyone. Not wanting to give into the tears that begged to spill. You were tired of crying. Tired of being tired.

The woman you've been with for the past five years is suddenly someone you've never met. You've met jealous Melissa, and this was not that green monster.

That night you stayed up. You expected her to come home tonight. After what happened you expected her to. But she didn't.

It hurt. It burned. It shattered. You couldn't understand what the hell was happening. So you called her. Not getting any answer, but you laid it out in the voicemail. The emotions ripping at you.

Wednesday.

You didn't go to school. You stayed home and sulked. Crying the entire morning. Only stopping for an hour or so to drink water. Just to cry it all out again.

It was a repeating pattern with it. That was all your day was. You couldn't believe you were crying this hard for someone.

Yet, it'd be terrible if you weren't crying over her. You spent the past five years with her. Even though it wasn't official till last year though.

You were with her through everything, and now she's just throwing you away.

That night you stared at yourself in the mirror. First silently, then after an hour, you screamed. You screamed so loud you heard dogs start barking from streets down.

Thursday.

Tomorrow would mark a week of whatever is happening. Not...that anyone was keeping track or anything.

You went to school and just kept to yourself. It was a you day where you talked to nobody. You hardly talked to your students.

You gave them papers of what they knew to just do extra practice and did your own thing.

And at night you did what you did for what seems like a month, sat with a glass of wine waiting.

Friday.

A week. A week if not talking to her. A week without a text. A week without a call. A week of constant tears. A week of hurting.

You walked into your classroom and see a box. A familiar box that you adore so much. There was a blue sticky note on top.

Your heart thumped loudly. Each step was a louder thump.

You read the note and a small smile tugged at your lips. But then you let the pain she cause catch up to you today.

You went through your day, a bit more on edge. A bit meaning you were shaking the entire day since reading the note.

By the time you were home, you were downing water. Trying to calm the nerves that we're eating you alive. They took over your body and you felt cold and clammy.

The door opened. You wanted to throw up everything. You wanted to be eaten alive by the floor. To be abducted by aliens. Ran over by a train. Honestly anything to not be here.

"Hun?" A soft voice called in. She walked further into the house. And when you laid eyes on her, you couldn't.

The mixture of rage and sadness forcing tears out. You began yelling. It didn't stop, you just kept yelling. Screaming things you didn't know you wanted to say. You stepped closer and closer and once you were close and she stared at you, she looked shocked to think you could say such, and it made you even more mad.

You threw your hands up and kept screaming. You began throwing objects, being conscious of what you had. Nothing was breaking to satisfy you.

You grabbed your wine glass, note it still had a bit of wine, and threw it at her. Instantly shutting up when it fell to the ground where she used to be standing. You were thankful she moved, but the feeling that glass had made you pant.

"I know you're upset," she began. But it didn't go long because you kept going. You laid it on to her heavy. You've never yelled at someone like this before.

You plopped down when you were for sure done. Watching her with puffy eyes.

She began to talk. And as she went on, you still didn't hear her reasoning. It was just a long apology of how she knew she was wrong.

"Please, I'm sorry." She looked at you longingly.

You shook your head. "You don't get you just apologize and not give me a reason. You left me for a week without saying a word. You stood me up at dinner Mel. What did I do?" You croaked.

Melissa's eyes went wide and she rushed to crouch in front of you. Holding your face and wiping away tears.

"Honey none of this. And I absolutely mean none of this, was your fault. I...I let my insecurities get me. On Friday when you were defending Janine and then talking to her alone," she got out quietly. The fear of you looking at her differently feasting on her.

You could only begin crying. You slipped off the couch into her arms. Sobbing so heavily. Melissa wrapped her arms and held you tightly. Even when you tried hitting her chest and pull away. She could only apologize at you.

Tears of her own showering your head. Neither one of you able to part. You not wanting her to disappear ever again, and her not wanting to see you pained the way you are.

It was well past midnight when you came through again. Stirring around trying to determine where you were.

In your bed with a bonding like grip on you. You couldn't move but you moved enough to wake up Melissa.

"Mel..." you softly spoke. Grabbing at her hands to loosen them. Only making them tighten around you.

"No..." she grumbled. "I can't let go of you."

"Melly? I'm not asking you to let go of me, I'm asking you to just let go of me." You pulled at her hands again, getting the to let go. You rolled over to prop yourself up. Looking down at your woman as her face was so relaxed.

Her eyes fluttered open. Instantly filling with tears. "Please don't leave me..." her tears began falling. "I know I was wrong but please. I cant go through it."

"Melly, I'm not leaving you. You did a terrible terrible thing and I still hardly know why, except that it had something to do with Janine?" You pushed hair out of her face and getting comfortable in her arms again. "What went through that head?"

Melissa moved to rest lower and bury her head into your chest. You knew she needed to be held, so that's what you did. She explained it all to you while you played with her hair.

"And I just....it kept eating at me that you were tired and wanted someone young. I know not Janine but I wanted to get it over with so you couldn't break my heart." She finished. The sun peaking up and through your blinds. "And when you yelled and said what you said, I had a reality check."

You pulled her head back slightly to see her face. Leaning down and kissing her so passionately.

"I will never, and I mean never, mean what I say when I'm mad. It will never mean anything until I have time to calm down and talk sensibly. I was so so hurt that you did that to me though. And it hurt even worst because I knew I still would love you after it all. Because I love you Melissa." You kissed her forehead.

You took in this moment. You had the woman you swore to marriage within your own head. She was your forever. Since the first day with her she was your everything.

"I love you too, y/n." She smiled. It was the most genuine smile you've ever seen this woman give you.

The look in that woman's eyes before you both fell back asleep was all you needed to know she was your forever home.