#anyway i gotta pee brb

[possibly-in-wonderland]

me, staring at a tee hee funny "autistic culture is" post an autistic person made and realizing i relate to most of the memes people make, but is unable to get tested (broke bitch):

[possum-tooth]

okkkkkkkk guys im ready to go home 😐

[ratboyray]

So you mentioned a Kita playlist the other day... care to share? I happen to have a Sakusa Kiyoomi playlist, a SakuAtsu playlist, and my favorite recently has been “dancing in the kitchen with atsumu at 2am & making mac n cheese” (something I do on a regular basis just without atsumu 😔). I’m lactose intolerant but that doesn’t stop me haha I work at an ice cream parlor and cafe and scream at god. Do you like mac n cheese? Idk you really strike me as a mac n cheese person. Also!! Joey shared that you drink SO much water and literally always have your waterbottle. Me too bro!! I have anxiety and drinking things calms me down and water and tea are not alcohol and carrying my waterbottle around has been a comfort/stress relief for me since 8th grade. also I run and workout a lot and gotta stay hydrated 😚 back when we went to school I had to get a doctor’s note to use the bathroom because I have a tiny bladder and anxiety and was like always peeing haha sorry if that’s tmi. Ok luv u bye 😘

^ token picture of my waterbottle 😋 yes, that is oikawa 😍

omg okayojay so for my kita playlist, I took all my favorite songs from this playlist, watching the sunset with kita shinsuke, and then added other songs that I felt fit to make my own, (I hope the links work el oh el that would be embarrassing if they didn’t mwah😻😻) also uhhh brb looking for sakuatsu playlists bc my current brainrot is courtesy of them jdhdhdjdj

okay as for mac and cheese yes I love it so much but like I can’t really have it but I kind of can?? that doesn’t make sensejdhhdhd but alright I might as well overshare abt my medical problems bc it’s kinda silly goose😽✨ so like I have an incredibly weak stomach and always have but it got really bad during freshman year with the mix of anxiety and how much I was running (I still very rarely get thru a meet without vomiting jdhfhdjj😻✌️) so I went on this medication for acid reflux for as long as i was having issues but turns out I just have the chronic version of acid reflux so that led to me being on that medication for WAY too long and it gave me a ton of food intolerances as well as strengthening the ones I already had (don’t take prilosec kids😽) so anyway long story short I can’t eat eggs gluten or dairy (I can get away with yogurt and a tiny bit of cheese per day) or meat, chocolate (but i’ve been sensitive to that for forever) and also silly things like tomatoes or garlic jdhdhhdh ,,also WAIT not you @whorenita and I all having problems w lactose 😭pain😭

okay that was a lot but anyway that’s also related to my water intake !! over the past few years i’ve become p much overwhelmingly nervous abt what I eat and how it will affect me and all that but water is something very safe and controllable!! so yeah I drink a lot during the day which, like you, leads to peeing like constantly jdhdhdjhd and my school is Very Strict about bathroom policies so that makes school way more stressful than it needs to be‼️😻🤩 (that’s why i’m very happy with distance learning for most of the week bc I can pee as much as I want at home)

anyway sorry this response is like. so long but !!!! your water bottle is so cute bro dammit I want some hq stickers🥺🥺🥺

[sisefs]

I have a question: What did you think of Eva/YandereDev back then? (As in, did you get creeped out by him, or maybe did you think he was doing it to be ‘friendly’?)

Well. Back then, I was a teenager growing up in an abusive/neglectful household, with few friends. I was desperate for love & attention and would do anything for it, regardless of who was providing it to me. I didn’t have the capacity or the emotional intelligence or experience to understand the creepiness of Eva INSTANTLY becoming obsessed with me when he discovered I was a girl...and I went along with it the whole while because attention from any source was like a drug for me. This is why 14 year olds aren’t old enough to give consent...I couldn’t understand the situation beyond “This guy thinks I’m special and attractive. I’d do anything for him.”

That being said, I had a small epiphany one day when he was doing his homework on livestream (statistics, I think? some kind of math). I was an eighth grader but read on a college level and thought I had a pretty good understanding of the problem in his textbook that he was struggling with, based on the info he’d read aloud. But when I tried to speak up and help him he snapped at me: “You’re just a kid, you can’t possibly understand this stuff.” That was probably the beginning of the end...or what tipped me off that there was a power imbalance, that he didn’t really respect me. From that point on I began to just feel used whenever he’d want to flirt/sext/whatever and I eventually extricated myself from the situation...

(another anecdote this reminded me of - I used to excuse myself from chat with “brb, gotta pee,” and he took me aside one day and begged me to stop saying that, that he wasn’t comfortable with other guys knowing I was doing something so intimate. ????)

Anyway, to actually answer your question, I saw nothing wrong with him at first. I liked the attention. But he tipped his hand and I started to see the creepiness of his actions after that.

[ota-ness]

Smutty, Prince, ML, and Spies for the character thing ;);););)

they’re nOT CHARACTERS THO SMH. THEY’RE ACTUAL PEOPLE. Alas, I’ll try to do this best I can I guess.

Smutty:

do I like them: She’s a ball of sin but I love her with all my heart anyways ^^

5 good qualities: Good writer, nice editing skills, fun to chat with, energetic, a meme (in a good way)

3 bad qualities: LOOD, confuses our words sometimes, and sometimes puts cursed music/videos on

favourite episode/etc: uhh since this is not a show idk… PEE TIME IS NOT GROUP TIME

otp: smutty does love her sara

brotp: Smutty and ML can be a sinful duo when they’re on at the same time

ot3: ummm 

notp: Smutty and unhappiness

best quote: “I thought it was food porn, but it was Patrick!”

head canon: Can actually do the :3 face irl

Prince:

do I like them: Yes of course I do, I couldn’t ask for a better almost husband to help me watch over the youths

5 good qualities: Has A+ stories, draws really well, a great person to talk to, amazing singer, quality ASMR 

3 bad qualities: An… interesting influence on the impressionable youths, andddddd uhhhhh I can’t think of anything else

favourite episode/etc: Talking about ordering Pringles online at 1 in the morning

otp: Prince and money

brotp: ML and Prince, duh, they’re brtohers (burr toe hers)

ot3: Prince, Trop and Ness aka Holy VCrinity

notp: Prince and unhappiness

best quote: “brb gotta go get the mail in pajamas in broad daylight because ness isnt here and shes like 90% of my impulse control”

head canon: Is the irl equivalent of Yato from Noragami

ML

do I like them: Ye, he’s a great friend and even though he can also be a bit sinful he’s a good kid

5 good qualities: Another great artist, puns, excited when talking about Mario, considerate, and overall kind

3 bad qualities: Has an NSFW mode, sometimes puts cursed stuff in the vc, ML BLEASE

favourite episode/etc: Ummmm 

otp: ML and Spies, what other choice do I have?

brotp: ML and Prince, again duh

ot3: hmmmmm

notp: ML and unhappiness

best quote: “Prince what did you do this time”

head canon: Jump Up Super Star! is his theme song

Spies

do I like them: Yessss how could I not love my sunshine child

5 good qualities: A pure cinnamon roll too good for this world, amazing artist, fellow Agencyshipper, a great singer as well, pure

3 bad qualities: Cannot think of any. she’s literally a ray of sunshine

favourite episode/etc: “no me” “no me” “no me” “no me” :CEASE THIS”

otp: ML and Spies

brotp: Spies and Smutty because of their love of Unova characters

ot3: hnnnnn

notp: Spies and unhappiness

best quote: :”PRINCE IM DYING AND YOU ARE MAKING RAMEN”

head canon: Probably literally has a halo above her head at all times since she radiates so much joy

ok, there we go, this took a lot longer than I anticipated ha;kvlsfjjflajd

[stingchronicity]

:O what was the Trevor dream about??? I'd love to know 💚 (if you don't mind talking about it that is!)

so i get a facetime call and i answer it thinking it’s jacob but it’s Trevor Horn!!! and so i facetime w/ him and he’s so cute i’m 💝

anyway he talks really fast but his speech is slow like ,, says “uh” and stutters a lot but it’s really cute tbh

anyway we talk for a while and i think he’s also dooting around on a computer but then he’s like “oh wait i gotta do smth brb i love u bye!” and hangs up so i’m like ok omg but then he calls back soon after and we keep talking

i think at one point he had to pee and took his phone with him lmao it was cute tbh he was still happily chatting while peeing

but then later in the dream he and i are together in person and i think we were at his house for a lil while but then we were at a store

i think i had a shutdown or smth bc i’m being Not Very Responsive but he’s holding my hand and pushing the cart

but then a woman’s like “um u need to put clothes on”

and i look down and realise i’m only wearing underwear

and trevor’s like 8O “here have my shirt” and takes his shirt off and gives it to me and then gives me his pants

but then i’m like but u don’t have any clothes now :0 so he puts on a dress from the cart and it’s my black and stripey dress and i’m like??? why didn’t i just put that on

but he looks cute in it and he’s happy so w/e

anyway then we’re going through a dark section with tall shelves and he’s reading some box but then the box falls down and some drone-like thing flies out and hits my face and it like flails in my face and i’m like crying and trevor runs over and kicks it away and holds me real tight

that’s all i remember but??? amazing

[colorspilling-blog]

Movement and Color

eWe’re not this individual thing that has to push life on earth forward. We’re all part of this gorgeous s trail coming out from behind. A shooting star. The call of light alone would be as beautiful if it were jus b itself. It would be this floating mass of while, not moving, no momentum. We are the momentum. A rainbow momentum swoosh behind the ballushing life forward, vibrations inside the ball of the winging ball trick that goes on gu”s desks. We’re that magic vibrations behind. That no one sees, bue eakes things MOVE. Just dons of existence and motion, driving a force along a path, we are in==not important at all, but we are essential, those of us working hard to Mae life pretty calms and soothes. And lifts us up. It makes things kind, and great, because why not enjoy life? Why not???? We’ll get there anyways. But in that, we DO have people suffering and people here now, and support those here ecaulse they are so important. Strive to make the world better for EVERYone. It’;; take moe itime, but it will be more beautiful. It will transform the world in new ways, in more gorgeous way. It will bring us into a sea of relaxation, it will le t us sooth and become more vibrant as a while. One color alone is monotonous. Its inconsequential. It’s bland it’s harsh. Variation a better world, gives us a doting, calm, wonderful place to live. But if e get to harsh apart, if those just prey on those who give, the givers should put that responsibility on them, as they are pulling back the shooting arrow through space and time. We all must push FORWARD. And the best way is to spread our wings and catch a draft of air forward. We go nowhere without that breadth of life, the expansion of our wings causes us to move forward. Rare stagnant without variation. Everyone is important equally and we will move forward. But don’t give too rigidly equally, the air will slide off and we will become still and spinning, things will get diss. Move forward to feel better. Everyone is in better place, of these octagons building up life. These bridges between places making up a beautiful whole. We are but tiny pieces of a huge pulse and everyone is so important and essential to this piece, and no watter what they do or who they are and link of this chain Maile, this vibrant rainbow chainmail because why not? Who NOT have things be beautiful it’s better. It feels better. It would be all the same, but that’s boring and we don’t fight for poring shit. We fight for who we love and who we are, it’s just how we’re MADE. And no different part of that is more or less essential.  And maybe there’ s a creator who creates and IS our god? But then soon out and that creator is where we are, being created by another creator. We’re tiny molecules of time, zooming in and out in pattern and vibrations. This natural beauty in a snowflake, That essential support and life essence, we’re just all doing it to make things pretty anyways. L. The moral vibrations produced as I’m experiencing this go and produce their own energy behind a ball swining in these next universe, so in a way, I am a creator. I am unknowingly a creator of al these infinite possibilities and different ways of live, JUST because I exist? For m existence to take shape, molecules need to me moved, atoms need to me shifted and used, and all these different parts of me have tiny pieces just pushing and glowing and MOVING. How do they MOVE> all these tiny vibrations being caused by even smaller fractals of color and moventmt. All within me. Every tiny rivrant of light and LIFE make me who I am@ It’s wonderful and for no other sake than for making my rainbow and my color, I love it. I love the colofr the vibrations have made for me. I love each and every part of me, and I hope everyone does too. Even the ones who are choosing to be bleak and bland, vecause in this array of space, we’re only tiny dots that make up another pattern and rainbow. My colors are so pretty and varied, and that’s gorgeous, but far way I look like one dot of light, one dot of color. I don’t look particularly cold or interesting, but I’, jere bot to balance out the shit, to ve land and be a park part of a bigger mosaic, but ALSO to be colorful and wonderful within myself, and love every color and every bit of me, and that’s MINE and who else chooses to love it and let it influence them, But no one has to love my shine for it to still be valid and wonderful. But no one HAS to acknowledge my shine. I am just as interesting and bright as an other person, though I shine fright in the one direction I’m facing. We’re in 2D now kids, I;;m pulling one way and others are pulling the other way, creating this form factor for a bubleand piece of a grid,  hat is the difference between science and blind faith always? As long as it’s not actively harming anyone, why the fuck now? Be cooky, love something wild. we all deserve equl part in this life, and don’t go and enforce yourself on others. This is my truth and only my truth, I’m  not speaking for anyone else, but me, and thats all I can do. I can hold this shape and old this color, and be who I am but tnothing less and nothing more, nothing marking anyone. It goes out is so many directions, where I believe to put m love and m time and m energy, and that’s fractilizes down into littly colored parts and shapes that make p ME, the atoms and particles make up ME, just like I make up part of this world. 
I really need to pees, Life is just a fluctuation between macro and micro, trying to find that balance and trying to find what we are. And that’s all of us and I can’t force it to be anyone. It’s just a basic truth. You can only exist as you are, each tiny part of us making up us making up a bigger structures. There are tiny particles moving me, Make not typing on the computer, but maybe they are! I don’t know and I will never know, not in my life time! We all mean so much and so little at the same time. And as long as that’s focus on you and you alone, that’s fine. My brain is hurting.

I’m definitely beginning to not be high anymore, and I don’t know what science is and what is just plain existence, and magic and faith, and all we can do is strive for what is science, because isn’t micro and macro all the same anyways?should we push others aside to travel the world and see the beauty and push out and onwards, despite people, to see the colors fractling elsewhere, or should we stay stout and supportive of who we are, and become one shard in the mosaic that is this cosmic universe. Fucking everything is relative and that sucks to accept and that sucks that we have to sometimes be boring and shitty, that we have to make sure things still move and things still PROGRESS, but part of us has to be within us, taking care of our color and our vibrance, to aid the bigger cause? If we don’t care about the smaller structures, and we don’t love and nurture each and every part of us, how can we go on to achieve the goals we dream of? There’s not enough TIME to both be you and not you, and to be pulled in your heart way or your mind way, and we’re all these FRACTLES of gorgeous humanity and existance, and everyone is fucking weird as shit and that makes things BEAUTIFUL. That makes things interesting and just. As existence. I’m this fractal of honestly believing this and wanting others to acknowledge who I am and this my belief and also a fractal of knowing I’m high! I’m mistyping! I’m this REAL human, I keep running to the bathroom to make sure I’m not bleeding on everything beacuase I’m a woman and because I exist and am, that’s COOL? But looking at it on a such clinical level is weird and I have to aside saying that It’s both this solid existence and nonsensical matter that it borders the line of science speak and pure gibberish. I’m SURE someone would read this and thing it’s everywhere and nonsensical and a ramblings of a selfish, shithead, undeserving, lunatic, and some people would look at it as a way to exist. It’s MY way to exist! And I don’t know who else shares what I believe and such until I go out and look at other people, I don’t know what makes me great unless I see what makes other people great. We are all giving and getting from pieces and parts of others, synthesizing each other and becoming who we are, we are bleeding rivers of color into each other’s pond, each tiny gradient important and essential to life, but also in and of itself creating a larger more washed out pixel, which has it’s place in the scene of things. I just became aware of time. It has faded in and out for a while. That’s both important and non important. Time isn’t anything. Why shouldn’t I be me in this moment, and then I lose the moment and lose other things. It all slips away when you focus down to who you are. Things make you bland and stale if you’re predictable and boring, and thus you have to be interesting and essential and different, while not detracting from anyone else seeking to do so.  I do not matter and neither does anyone else, but if we cease to exist whole galaxies and stars cease to exist. Lives cease to exist. We don’t matter. We are essential. We both seek to create the greater good and support that which makes us up be able to exist. Life is INCREDIBLE and vibrationally faceted, and our atoms and electrons are made of galaxies. We keep discovering more and becoming larger and more vibrant, but we block others out of the way. Life is finding the balance between us and US. Brb I gotta go de-period myself. Some people will praise this as their logical thought path, and others Will not. Being high and writing both is a meaningless waste of time, and who I COULD potentially be, exist as, contrubute. Those see part of it wrong, others see it as the way to live. We are essential, and we don’t matter.

Some will want this to go on, and some will want it to stop. Some may thing that my ramblings an essential way of deconstructing man, and some will see this as a throw away and garbage. They both matter, but neither should dominate.

This was sparked by the Office and weed.

Doing something kind and sweet for someone both inconveniences others but makes others better. All we can do is try and lift others up when they need to lift others. Chains. Links. When does morality become bad? Selfish, draining, self care, awareness vibrates out. Everyone has their existence and it tears me apart. It tears me apart and I want to see everything but I can see nothing without providing something for others to see.have power by not having power

[iheartsurveys]

157

What is your name and how old are you? Brianna, 23 Do you talk on the phone a lot? What kind of phone do you have? I talk on the phone maybe once a day, if that. It's an iPhone 7 Is your house ever creepy? What does it do? Not really Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this rapper? I'm not sure if I have a favorite rapper... I don't listen to a ton of rap, I know what's popular basically. There's no one artist I know everything by. I Don't Fuck With You by Big Sean is my jam. I like some Drake. I can rap the entirety of Donald Trump by Mac Miller How about your favorite band? And your favorite song by this band? I like way too many bands to have a favorite. I am really into Glass Animals still, even after seeing them at Firefly. They're just so great. My favorite song is The Other Side of Paradise Did you do any drugs this past weekend? Which ones? Nope Are you hungry? Why don’t you eat something? I'm fine Do you have any cousins that you’re jealous of? Why? Nah What year will you be/were you a senior in high school? 2011-2012 Have you ever broken up with someone and then regretted it later? Nope Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? Probably Do you have an online blog? What do you write about in there? You're looking at it Do you know anyone that has a multiple personality disorder? I know someone who says they do but I'm not sure if that's a self diagnosis or a real thing...not to discredit their mental health but like I'm genuinely not sure Have you read anything educational today? What was it? Nope Do you watch more of the Discovery channel, or MTV? Or neither? I don't watch either really...I'll watch discovery during shark week, and MTV if they're showing a movie or something Have you ever had the cops called on you? For what? Nope Do you hate your last name? Do you want to get married so you can change it? I actually enjoy my last name, it flows nicely. I don't want to get married solely to change my name lol that's dumb. Honestly I'd have to see whether or not I'd change it since I'm kind of content as is. If I married someone with an awkward last name I might not change it Did you wake up to an alarm clock this morning? What time? Nope I woke up because it got really bright in my room How old is your favorite teacher? Just guesstimate. I'm not in school anymore What’s the background picture on your phone? Do you change it a lot? It's a black and pink pattern, I change it whenever I feel like it Would you rather be home alone, or have people with you? Why? Either is fine honestly. I'm fine alone I chill with my dogs and do whatever. And when I'm not alone it's fine I hang out with my mom or whatever Do you live near a highway? Can you hear the traffic at night? I'm not super close to a highway, I don't hear cars at all at night Have you ever dropped a class in school? Which class, and why did it suck? I dropped this hard bio class in college because it was super difficult. It inspired me to change my minor Are you a MAC or a PC? My PC laptop is dead and I'd like a MacBook or the new iPad Pro so I guess that makes me a mac now Has the snow melted away in your yard? Did it even snow in the first place? It hasn't snowed in months, and when it did, it melted super quickly Have you ever taken someone back, who ended up just hurting you again? Nope Music is playing right now, isn’t it? What song? Not listening to music How many cell phones have you gone through in your life? 7 or 8 Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? I don't Do you need spellcheck in order to spell things correctly? No I'm a decent speller. I notice sometimes after I post a survey my grammar will be off and it's totally not on purpose like sometimes my phone autocorrects. Sometimes I fix it because I don't want people to think I can't spell but sometimes I say fuck it and leave it What was the last thing you printed? Is there even ink in your printer? A ticket to a beer and wine festival. We're running low on ink Do you go to concerts? What was the last one you attended? I love going to concerts. I was at Firefly festival almost two weeks ago, I saw a bunch of great bands. Technically the last one we saw was misterwives Do you shop online? With your own credit card, or someone else’s? I love online shopping, I use my own card Who’s your best friend? How long have you known each other? Britt, 5 years in like a month Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? Haven't had an actual "boyfriend" yet. The first guy I dated, he stopped talking to me out of nowhere, so I'm not really sure why. Though he's asked since then if I want to know why we didn't work out and when I said yes he was like ummm gotta pee brb. So I still don't know, boys suck lol Have you ever gotten your nails done? Or do you get them done regularly? I hate getting them done I prefer to do them myself Have you been outside yet today? What were you doing? Yep, going to and from the car to kick boxing and then back home Do you have or want any tattoos? Of what? I don't have any, I've wanted some in the past and I still kinda do but idk what I'd get or where 
Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yep, I was maybe 15 with my dad in the parking lot of a church. My mom didn't find out about that until fairly recently Do any of your friends drink excess amounts of alcohol? Do you? I have a few friends that don't really know their limits... I've learned mine after trial and error How many pairs of shoes do you have? Are they under your bed? Maybe 20 something. Some are in a shoe organizer on my door, the rest are in my closet or in the closet downstairs What exactly is under your bed? Is it a mess? It's not too messy, just a little dusty. I have an art portfolio from high school, and a rolling duffel bag Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why, exactly? I haven't Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? Why? Yes. I had my tonsils removed when I was like 10 Do you actually have a calendar on your wall? What are the pictures of? No When are you planning on moving out of your parents' house? Hopefully in a year ish Tell me about your day today. It was chill, I was at home for most of the day watching tv, I napped for a bit, I fed the animals, went to kickboxing, showered, ate dinner, watched the bachelorette, flipped the channels for a little after and now here I am Have you ever been on a cruise? How many? Where did they go? I haven't. My mom and stepdad are going on one without me in a few months What was the last thing you purchased for yourself? Conditioner, shaving cream and razors, face wipes What was the last thing you purchased for someone else? Food 
Do you have a favorite author? Nope How about a favorite book? I like a lot honestly, get back to me on that Do you have a significant other? Nope Have you taken your Christmas tree down yet? It's been 6 months since Christmas so yes When was the last time you took a shower? Few hours ago Is any part of you sore right now? My nonexistent abs Do you have any clothes that are uncomfortable, but you wear them anyway? Not really How many people are currently in your home? 3 people 5 animals Is green your favorite color? Nope What kind of music do you mostly listen to? Alternative and pop Have you ever fallen asleep laying on your boyfriend/girlfriend? Single What was the last vacation you went on? Tbh firefly doesn't count as a vacation...it was fun but camping was stressful. So I guess, maybe last summer? When’s the next time you’re going on vacation? No clue How tall are you? 5'9 Do you drink coffee? I do