#anyway i fell into the half life fandom and fell HARD for the g-man and i can't get up so i might post more art of him soon

[youngblood-valkyrie]

Prepare... for unforseen consequences...

[a-vintage-snake]

9. In All My Dreams I Drown

Pairing(s): Pre-romantic Dukeceit

First chapter - Previous chapter - Next chapter

Warnings: Implied child abuse, vomiting, dirty humor, basically Remus is Very Thirsty™ for that Snake Booty Characters: Janus “Deceit” Sanders, Remus Sanders

Summary: It is time for Remus’ first magic lessons

Word Count: 10213

Author’s Note: Heeeey there... Been a while, huh? Sorry if this took so long, I had to take a mental health break from writing for a while. But the good news is that I joined NaNoWriMo! I didn't hit 50k unfortunately, but I did hit nearly 30k! Anyways, enjoy!

Taglist: @avocados26, @fandoms-will-collide @nottoonormalme, @bihighandgivinghighfives, @atticusfinchthelegend​, @hekking-happy-nonsense, @lockmcduckwoodchuck

If you want to be removed or added to the taglist, just ask!

Read on AO3

He was floating.

Remus wasn’t sure how, but it didn’t matter. He felt light as a feather, a drowsy grin stretching on his face. His gaze idly, unhurriedly, moved up. Stars and galaxies twinkled above him; shining in a symphony of colours that made him half-heartedly wish he had his sketchbook with him. Their light was filtered however… As if he was looking at them from underwater. Was he in the ocean? How was he even breathing?

Remus leaned back against his partner, and all those silly questions left his head. The man behind him was the only solid thing in this floaty, tranquil world of his, and the only thing that mattered right now. Hands ran down Remus’ body, lazily exploring his skin. They traced down his back in small circles, before sliding up and pulling through his hair, making him almost purr in contentment.

“Aren’t you a lovely thing, my little prince.” A voice amusedly crooned into his ear. It was not just a voice. It was without a doubt the loveliest voice Remus had ever heard, and he would never tire of listening to it.

“I’m your lovely thing.” Remus answered with a grin.

“Are you now? Does that mean…” Remus felt a playful bite in his neck, scales dragging along his skin. “You want to stay with me?”

“Yes…” Remus answered in a haze.

“Will you be loyal to me?”

“Yes…”

“Will you help me?”

“Yes…” Remus moaned. “Yes.”

Abruptly the man behind him disappeared and Remus fell. He shouted in surprise as gravity suddenly had its hold back on him as he crashed hard into the painfully solid ground beneath him. Bewildered, he sat up and looked around. The stars above his head died away, one by one. Until he was left in pitch-black darkness.

“Worthless traitor.” A chorus of new voices echoed, the sheer disgust in them making Remus’ stomach turn.

“No! I’m not-! I don’t-!”

“Turn your back on us, after all that we have done for you.”

“You’ve done NOTHING for me!” Remus screamed as he shuffled back. “You deserve what’s coming for you!

“Deserve?” The voices laughed coldly. “You know what you deserve?”

A harsh wind knocked Remus back onto his back.

“You deserve to be punished.”

No! Anything but that! He tried to stand and run, but painfully bumped his head into a sudden low ceiling. He crumpled to the ground, nursing his aching head. The groaning sound of wood and stone surrounded him, deafening him.

The walls-! The walls were closing in!

“No… No!! NO!!” Remus screamed as the room became smaller and smaller, pushing onto him until they were squishing him down. It didn’t stop him from kicking and banging at the unyielding walls, his arms and legs barely able to move in the space that kept getting smaller and smaller. Even as he screamed as hard as he could, he could feel the air becoming thinner and thinner. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe-!!

Then he heard it. The sound he always dreaded. A lock falling into place and a key being turned.

“That is what you deserve.” The cold chorus of disgusted voices said from beyond the walls.

“NO!! PLEASE NO!! LET ME OUT, PLEASE LET ME OUT I WON’T THINK I WON’T SPEAK!!” Remus banged and pounded as the walls pressed in, slowly suffocating him. “JUST LET ME OUT PLEASE!!”

“PLEASE!!” Remus screamed as he rolled over, fighting against the hold the walls had on him. Funnily enough, now they seemed to yield a little easier. They felt a lot softer too. They were white. They were… Sheets?

Panting Remus sat up and looked around wildly. Rough stonewalls, large windows showing mountaintops and a sky slowly turning bright, a small desk and a fireplace… This was not his room-! Where the FUCK was he-??

-Lovely mismatched eyes, looking at him like he was a puzzle he wasn’t quite sure how to solve yet-

Slowly Remus’ breath evened. Oh. Right. Not a hopeful fantasy then. The last few days actually happened.

“Stupid fucking dream…” Remus muttered, trying to free his arms from their cotton prison. Fuck it, the dream had started out so nice too! The ghost memory of the hands in his hair made him sigh. Couldn’t that part just have continued for a little while?

As he sat up and tried to shake away the lingering dread the dream had caused, he looked around his chambers. Heh, funny how his actual life had become more dreamlike in just three days. It was almost impossible to believe!

…Unless he was still dreaming?

He pinched his arm. Nope, definitely awake, and still in the castle of a legendary warlock, who somehow seemed to tolerate his company enough to let him stay here.

…Not only that, he remembered. He was going to be taught magic.

Instantly erasing any leftover terror the dream had caused, Remus grinned widely.

“WOOO!!” He yelled, throwing himself back onto the very soft bed. He rolled around giggling wildly. It got him tangled in the sheets even further, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t hold in all the sheer excitement even if he wanted to try. Him! Him, learning magic!! Remus, the wizard! Remus, the sorcerer! Perhaps some day even… Remus the warlock!

Finally slowing to a halt Remus stared up at the ceiling for a while, his mind reeling with the options of what could happen today. Would he be taught how to do light illusions, just like he had seen on his ninth birthday? Or would he make potions like Virgil did? Perhaps he would be taught how to summon fire!

And let’s not forget just exactly who would be doing the teaching... Remus bit his bottom lip, excited anticipation making him squirm in his place. He had never understood people who had Sexy Teacher fantasies, but oooooh man did he get them now. It would just be the two of them, literal magic in the air… The idea alone made his heart flutter. Ugh, gross, his heart fluttered. Was this how Roman felt whenever he saw Patty-cakes? How did he ever get anything done?

Finally untangling himself from his sheets, Remus jumped out of bed and sprinted towards his luxurious bathroom with an eagerness he hadn’t felt in, well… Ever. He washed and dressed himself hurriedly.

“Right,” He said to his reflection. “Rough start yesterday! But it doesn’t matter! I can still turn this around!”

Can you though? The voice of reason chimed in. Oh wow, he was early today.

“Yes I can! I just need to make sure to act like Roman, and everything will work out just fine!”

Your disillusions could almost be called cute, if they weren’t so damn pathetic.

“Whatever,” Remus dismissed, ignoring the swirl of uncertainty in his stomach. “I just have to channel my inner Roman! I gotta think like Roman!” He placed his fingers at his temples. “Become the Roman! Right! What does Roman like??” He slapped his cheeks. “What. Does. Roman. Like?”

Remus wracked his brain for a few minutes, staring at his reflection with all the concentration of a child trying to win a staring contest.

“…Horse riding!” He eventually blurted. “Chubby men! The latest fashion trends! Boring dinners! What’s that? Why, I certainly want to kiss that ugly ass baby of yours! Just as long as it doesn’t drool on my ivory jacket! No, it’s not white, it’s ivory, you uncivilized peasant! Oh, let me just flip my luscious locks in this non-existent breeze as I trot towards the dance floor!”

Satisfied Remus nodded at himself. Oh yeah. He had this in the bag.

Leaving his chambers Remus took off towards the dining room. It had taken him a couple of hours yesterday, but eventually he had found his bedchambers again, where a small lunch was waiting for him. He had taken the rest of the day to map out the route between his bedchambers and the dining room until he was confident he could find it without too much trouble. Honestly, this place was a goddamn maze.

In the end he took only one wrong turn before he found the dining room again. The warlock wasn’t there yet. Remus shrugged off his disappointment as he took the same seat as he did the day before. He supposed he was too early anyway. The sober food hadn’t changed; they were still the same plates filled with fruits, dark bread and dried fish. Not exactly a varied diet in this castle, heh?

No matter. Remus' stomach growled anyhow. He already reached out to fill his plate, but paused midway. Uncertainly his hand hovered over the food. Was he… Allowed to eat now? His host hadn’t arrived yet… What if he accidentally insulted him by not waiting for him?

He shook his head. It was not worth the potential reprimand if he did eat. So Remus sat back and waited.

And waited.

Remus wiggled in his seat, tapping his fingers against the wood of the table. Boredom quickly took over. Fuck, he shouldn’t have arrived this early. Now what was he supposed to do?

He eyed the spare firewood for a second, but the dinner knife turned out to be too dull for whittling. He really missed his sketchbook by now. Why oh why hadn’t he brought it on his quest with him?

With nothing else to do Remus let his head fall back against the chair and started to tap out a little tune on the table. He hummed lowly, little no nonsense lyrics floating to his brain as he experimented with the melody.

“Went to the mountains today,” He sang to himself. “Went to the mountains and expected to slay… Little did I know that I would stay, oooh that I would stay…”

Really getting into it, Remus gently started tapping a knife against his glass alongside his other hand that still tapped the table, creating a whole new melody.

“Went to the mountains to find my destiny,” He now rocked back and forth in his chair. “How could I know that instead destiny would find me?”

“Very lovely.” A voice commented. Remus jumped in his chair with a shout, knocking over his glass. His heart beat a mile a minute as he turned to the right, finding the warlock sitting in the opposite chair, looking as hot as ever. Eris was once more wrapped around his shoulders, and the cobra glowered suspiciously at him.

“An original?” Deceit asked with a half smirk.

“Uuh, yeah,” Remus nodded as he looked between Deceit and the door, which he confirmed with a quick glance was still closed. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack or is scaring people shitless just a hobby of yours?”

Fuck, Remus cringed, that was too forward, wasn’t it? Too Remus, not enough Roman. Luckily the warlock only shrugged.

“Nothing like a little scare in the morning to get the blood pumping, as I totally always say,” Deceit grabbed an apple from the fruit plate. “Don’t you agree?”

Remus quickly nodded. He would agree with anything as long as the warlock just kept talking in that velvety voice. Somehow he kept forgetting just how brain meltingly gorgeous it was.

“You’re quite early.” The warlock said as he rubbed the apple against his sleeve. “Bad night or just eager to start the day?”

“Eager to start the day!” Remus beamed, cheerfully ignoring his dream from last night. “I am ready to do some magic!” Enthusiastically he started piling his plate full. “Let me just eat something real quick and then I’m ready-!”

“You haven’t eaten yet?” The warlock frowned.

Remus halted. “No…?” He said uncertainly.

“Why ever not?”

“I… Uhh…” Remus fidgeted. “I wasn’t sure if it was… Allowed?”

“Allowed? Oh stars above…”

Remus cringed. He did something wrong. Already. For fuck’s sake, the day hadn’t even started yet!

Obviously. What did you expect?

“I’m sorry.” He said quickly.

“No, you don’t need to-! Remus, understand this,” The warlock’s voice lost all its teasing quality. “You are completely free to do whatever you need to make yourself at home here. You don’t need my permission to eat, drink or otherwise make yourself comfortable. I mean, goodness,” The warlock huffed a laugh as he lifted the apple to his lips. “Next you’ll ask me to bathe you.”

Remus quickly shoved a forkful of fish in his mouth before he could moan out ‘Oh, please do’. The salty flavour sobered him up enough to not let any delightful bathing fantasies grab his attention for too long. Chewing like his sanity depended on it Remus quickly shoved a few more bites into his mouth, looking to his right to show that yes! He was eating now! Only to find that the warlock paid him no mind, focusing on his own food instead. Deceit’s fangs glistened in the light of the fire as he finally sunk his teeth into the apple, breaking the skin and taking a bite. A drop of juice gathered at the corner of his mouth, and he absentmindedly licked it away. Did Remus’ eyes fool him, or had it been a split tongue he had gotten a brief flash of?

Remus had to gulp and swallow his food, even though it was too big of a mouthful to go down comfortably. This was unfair; this was so unfair! No one was allowed to be this hot while just eating a fucking apple, of all things.

He wanted to lean forward and kiss him breathless. He wanted to taste the sweetness of the apple on his tongue. He wanted those fangs to bite his bottom lip, a low growl emitting from the warlock. He wanted to pull back, look in those mismatched eyes and hear him say-

“You’re stabbing your face with a fork.”

Remus blinked, the images disappearing, leaving him with the very real warlock giving him a weird look. “Wha…?” He asked dumbly.

“The fork you’re currently stabbing in your own face?” Deceit repeated deadpan, and now Remus finally noticed the pricking sensation in his cheek. He floundered, almost dropping the utensil as he quickly threw the fork over his shoulder.

“I do that! Sometimes!” Remus fumbled as the fork landed behind him with a ting. “Part of my, uuuhm…” Shit, shit! Quick! What would Roman say, what would Roman say??

“…Skin care routine?”

Somewhere, somehow, Remus’ inner Roman started crying.

“Ah, of course!” Deceit said. “How silly of me, to just forget the single most important step of every skincare routine!”

“HAhahahha, yeaaah…” Remus choked. “So silly!”

“Well then,” The warlock dropped the half eaten apple on his plate. “If you’re finished with eating and your, ahem- skin care routine,” Deceit rose from his chair. “How about we get started?”

--

“What are we going to do first??” Remus asked, barely able to keep himself from hopping up and down as he followed the warlock through the castle’s halls. “Fire from my hands?? Light illusions?? Holy shit, am I going to learn how to teleport??”

Eris gave him a disapproving glare, but the warlock only chuckled. “While I appreciate your enthusiasm, we’re going to start with something different.”

“Oh.” Remus shoulders sagged. “Like what?”

Deceit threw him an amused look over his shoulder. “Like some beginners lessons, perhaps?”

“Aaaw…”

“No need to sound so disappointed! We’ll get where you want eventually.”

“Tomorrow?” Remus hopefully asked.

“No.”

“Aaaw!”

“Honestly,” The warlock laughed and stopped in his tracks to turn to him. “Do you expect to become an expert at everything you do within a day?”

“No, but I would sure as hell would like to!”

“Don’t we all…” The warlock shook his head. “But I’m afraid that’s not how it works. Magic, like all crafts, requires studying, time and discipline.”

Remus grimaced. Oh great, his least favourite STD.

“Look, I know you said you’re an amazing teacher, and I believe you!” Remus tried again. “But I was not joking when I said I’m horrible at learning!”

“I still don’t believe that.”

Trust me, you will, the voice of reason piped in, making Remus wince.

“Isn’t there like a magical amulet or something that can give me super instant magic?” Remus asked. “Instead of wasting your time?

“That’s now how magical amulets work, or even how magic works,” Deceit laughed. “A magical amulet can only enhance a person’s magic, not create it.”

Not even trying to stifle the desperate whine that left his throat Remus threw his hands up in frustration. “Then how does magic work??”

The warlock thought that over a few seconds. “Imagine…” Deceit eventually slowly said. “Imagine the world around you as a calm lake. And see magic as dropping a stone in the middle of that lake. One small act creates a ripple, which spreads over the water. Changing the world as its waves surge through it. Of course, that calm lake would have remained a calm lake if you had never been there. Because those ripples start…” Deceit tapped a finger against Remus’ chest. “With you.”

Remus held a hand over the place where the warlock touched. His heart thrummed against his palm.

“So…” Remus frowned, his head slightly spinning. “Magic is like water where I dropped a stone in…?”

“Correct.”

“…But if that stone sinks, does that mean the world will just swallow up my magic? And if they’re ripples, does that mean that magic eventually becomes less powerful the more it spreads?

“I-” Deceit blinked a few times, looking mildly bewildered. “No? I mean, that’s not-! Look, it’s not a perfect metaphor-!”

“Also how big is the stone? I mean a stone won’t give much ripples! Why not throw a rock in? A boulder?? An entire mountain-!”

“The point is!” Deceit interrupted. “That all the things you wish to do won’t be possible if you don’t summon your own core magic first! That is the key to magic, not spells or potions!”

“Does that mean spells are the ripples-?”

“Forget the ripples!” Deceit said through gritted teeth.

“Right, sorry.”

The warlock raised a hand. He closed his eyes and when he opened them, his eyes were burning in that now familiar spellbinding molten gold. The gold spread through his veins, his face and hands coming alive like rivers of lava rushed through him instead of blood. Even Eris lit up, the ridges between her scales glowing gold as if red hot coals burned inside of her. Remus stared breathlessly as Deceit became a living golden statue, light pouring from him and Eris, lighting up the dark hallway like they trapped sunlight in their very forms.

“Summon your core magic,” Deceit spoke, gold pouring from his mouth. “With it you can accomplish anything your heart desires, and change your world.”

Currently what Remus’ heart desired was finding out if Deceit’s tongue would burn his if he leaned in and captured those lovely lips in a kiss, but somehow he didn’t think that’s exactly what the warlock meant.

“Summoning my core magic!” Remus grinned and clapped his hands. “Awesome!” His grin tempered somewhat. “How do I do that?”

Deceit closed his hand, and the glow in his eyes and veins disappeared. Eris returned to her normal state as well. Remus blinked some spots in his vision away. His eyes had to get used to the sudden darkness of the hallway again. Taking a calming breath Deceit crossed his arms at the small of his back.

“Close your eyes.”

Remus frowned but obeyed, uncertainly closing his eyes.

“Breathe in deeply,” The warlock’s voice ordered. Remus inhaled. “Very good. Now exhale through your mouth. Think of nothing. Let all thoughts pass by and leave you…”

Think of nothing? Well shit, if that was a requirement for using magic he was fucked.

“Relax your muscles. That includes that frown you currently have.”

Remus quickly relaxed the muscles in his face, allowing his shoulders to sag.

“Continue to breathe deeply. Inhale… Exhale. Inhale… Exhale.”

Remus followed the pattern that the warlock set for a few minutes. He felt a little silly, standing in a hallway and breathing like he was an old man trying to calm his heart after running a marathon. But if it meant listening to that voice for a little longer he was more than happy to continue this odd little exercise.

“Continue breathing in this same pattern,” Deceit said. His voice was slower now, softer. “Now, as you continue breathing… Allow the world to fall away. In this very moment, there is nothing in this universe but you and my voice. Everything else ceases to exist.”

Nothing else existed? Man, what he wouldn’t give for a universe where it was just the two of them…

“Continue breathing like I showed you,” The warlock’s voice had shifted. Now it came from his right, still ever so quiet. “With every breath the world falls away bit by bit, until the only thing left is you. You, and my voice… At this very moment, you need nothing else.”

The warlock’s voice continued to circle him, closer and closer, yet Remus heard no footsteps. Not even when he strained his ears. His head felt incredibly fuzzy. If it weren’t for the solid ground beneath his feet he would think that the warlock spoke the truth. That in this moment Deceit had taken away everything and left only them, drifting in the vastness of space. The thought was exhilarating.

“Turn yourself inwards…” The warlock said, slower and softer, closer to him than before. “Feel every inhale, every beat of your heart. Search deep inside yourself…”

Remus’ head spun. The world truly became a distant mirage for a brief second, and he distinctly felt like he was floating outside of his own body. Now even the ground felt distant and far away, as if he had left behind such commonalities as stone and mortar. Perhaps, in this moment he really didn’t need them. Fuck, he felt weird… Weird… But amazing.

“Very good, Remus.” Deceit’s voice suddenly came from right behind him, and just like that Remus fell and was slamdunked back into his own body. He jolted, acutely aware of the world around him. The ground beneath his feet, every itch on his arm, every blow of the wind outside and most concerning of all, the very real and solid presence behind him. Warm breath hit the back of his neck, making his hairs stand on end.

“Turn yourself inwards,” Deceit whispered in his silk on leather voice, making all kinds of delicious shivers roll down Remus’ spine and his head fill with warm, bed-tousled fantasies. “Feel your heart beating, in rhythm with every little part of you. Here, at this very place… You will find your core magic.”

Don’t get a boner, don’t get a boner, Remus thought desperately. Don’t get a boner, don’t get a-

Suddenly, Deceit pressed a hand between his shoulder blades, and Remus’ head snapped back with a sharp gasp.

Magic!

Like lightening it struck, alighting every nerve in his body in response. Magic streamed through his blood, bold and confident, filling his head and making it spin with light. This was not like how the hypnotizing had felt. That had filled only his head, dulling his senses and making him feel lazy. This sparked up every cell, every inch of him awakened by its call. His heart beat out an enthusiastic rhythm, answering the thrum of magic that rushed through his body with a melody of its own. Remus blinked his eyes open and gasped again at the sight of his hands. His veins were lit up in a golden glow, making his hands tingle and tremble. He did not need a mirror to know his eyes were alighted in that same golden flare.

The warlock pulled his hand back, and just like that the magic rushed away. Remus wanted to howl when the magic started to leave him. He wanted to grab onto the feeling with claws and teeth, to try to keep it inside of him like a dragon guarding its hoard. Let him have that confident feeling just a little longer, please!

No use. The magic left, leaving him feeling empty as Remus grasped his heart and resisted the urge to cry. He was shaking. Shaking as every fibre of him wanted that feeling back.

“And that,” Deceit said casually, as if he hadn’t just reduced Remus to a trembling mess. “Is magic. Do you understand now why you must summon that first?”

Remus turned to him, shakily. “I want to do that too.” He said breathlessly.

“You will. In time.” Deceit said lightly. “Here is your first assignment. From this day on you will do this breathing exercise every day, until your core magic is brought forth. Understand?”

Remus nodded wildly. “What are some other beginners lessons??” He asked eagerly. He had to get that feeling back, no matter what it took. The warlock smiled, and Remus felt his heart skip a beat. If that happened every time this man so much as looked his way, he would have died from a heart attack by nightfall.

“I know the perfect place to start.” Deceit said.

--

He really had to get used to infinite stairs if he was going to live here for the near future, huh? Remus would never have called himself unfit, but right now the sweat was starting to bead on his forehead and his breath came in heavy pants. The warlock ahead of him didn’t appear to be troubled at all. They had done nothing but climb stairs for what felt like ages, yet he still looked as if he freshly stumbled out of a dark fairy-tale. Eris hadn’t moved from her spot on Deceit’s shoulders, and occasionally she casted a look down at him full of mocking disdain. Remus had no idea how a cobra could convey this sheer amount of dignified disgust at him when she didn’t even have facial features, yet here he was.

“You try climbing all these stairs!” He mouthed at her when she gave him again another look as if she smelled something foul (to be fair, he had been climbing for a while now). Eris pulled up her nose at him with an “Hmph!”movement and nestled her head into the warlock’s curls. Remus squinted bitterly.

He was not going to be jealous of a snake, he was not going to be jealous of a snake-!

As if she tasted his bitterness in the air, Eris burrowed herself a little deeper into the warlock’s hair and threw him such a smug look Remus considered strangling her for a brief second. He settled on sticking his tongue out at her instead, grinning at insulted hiss he got in return.

“Will you two stop fighting?” Deceit exasperatedly said over his shoulder. Remus jumped. How the fuck did he-?

“You,” Deceit said as he scratched Eris’ yellow and black scales. “I told you to be nice.” Eris grumbled and moodily slithered her head inside the warlock’s cloak.

“As for you,” The warlock stopped and turned to Remus, who halted sheepishly in his steps. “Please stop antagonizing my familiar. Trust me, it’s not going to help you endear yourself to her. She’s a delicate lady.”

Remus took one glance at the cobra, who stuck her head out from her hiding place just enough to bare her fangs at him, the murder clear in her eyes and was just about to comment that they had a very different definition of what ‘delicate’ meant, when he frowned.

“Wait, what’s a fami-?”

“Keep up, we’re almost there.” The warlock interrupted as he resumed climbing the stairs. Remus cursed and quickly followed, despite his lungs and legs protesting.

Eventually they reached the top of the stairs, which led them to a narrow hallway with worn double doors at the end. Remus felt some of the sweat on his back turn cold. Hurriedly scrambling after Deceit he tried his best to ignore how the walls seemed to grow narrower and narrower the closer they got the doors.

“Doors!” Remus giggled nervously, trying to distract himself from the hallway. “Obviously the most magical thing of all!”

The warlock chuckled. “You might be more right than you think…” And with that, he pushed the doors open.

Remus blinked at the unexpected brightness that came pouring from the open doors. When he was adjusted to the sudden influx of light and looked around his mouth dropped open. Funny, it had been doing that a lot recently.

They were in a greenhouse. Somehow, at the high top of this mountain, there was a fucking greenhouse. Following the warlock in and instantly forgetting the narrow hallway, Remus spun on his feet to take everything in. The temperature was much milder in here than the rest of the castle, making him relax at the warmth. The distant sound of rushing water filled his ears. Suddenly he wished he had been born with a head completely covered in eyeballs just so he could take in every little detail of the greenhouse and its multitude of greenery. The high glass pane ceiling illuminated the vast array of plants, some he recognized, and some he didn’t. An apple tree stood next to a long elongated plant with large purple flowers, whose leaves swayed as if they were tousled in a non-existent wind. Familiar flowers like roses, daffodils and lilies grew alongside flowers who looked like see-through pink glass, or ones whose petals flickered like a small candle flame. Plants folded their leaves open like silk green fans, others let theirs droop like little golden bells. A willowy tree that carried curtains of silver clustered flowers opened its petals as Deceit and Remus walked past them, and unfurled to reveal long yellow stamens thick with pollen.

“Keep up, will you.” The warlock’s voice came from further ahead. Remus shook his head and tore his gaze away from the plants for now to catch up with Deceit. Hidden amongst the green there stood a worn table, wedged against a rocky wall where a modest indoor waterfall steadily rushed. Remus guessed this had to be where the castle stopped and the mountains began. The steady sound of rushing water became louder, louder than the small stream could be. Remus curiously walked up to the large windows that were opposite of the wall. They were foggy with little water droplets, but could not hide the massive waterfall right next to the window, plunging into a depth that made Remus’ legs feel all jumbly.

“Wicked…” Remus breathed.

“It is quite spectacular, isn’t it?” Deceit said, a pleased undertone in his voice. Remus tore his gaze away from the waterfall to look back at the warlock, who rummaged through the equipment that was scattered all over the table. As Deceit searched through a short pile of books that stood at the edge, Remus stepped closer and curiously inspected the table’s contents. There was a mortar and pestle, a watering can, a wooden cutting board and a knife etched with runes on the side, a book flipped open to a page explaining the anatomy of a plant he did not recognize and more dried plants than he ever saw. More so even than the collection Virgil had hanging from his ceiling, back home.

“What do these do??” He asked, pointing at the runes on the knife.

“A bit more patience, I will start the lesson shortly. But before I do that… Aha!” Finally founding what he was looking for, Deceit turned back to him. “This…” He held something out for him. “Is for you.”

Remus hesitantly took what the warlock held out for him. It was a book. A small, leather-bound tome. Curiously Remus flipped through it, only to find that the pages were all blank.

“What is this? Horrid Spells written in invisible ink?” Remus frowned up at the warlock, who chuckled.

“I’m so tempted to say yes, but no. This,” Deceit tapped a finger against the leather cover. “Is your very own grimoire.”

Remus blinked. “My what now?”

“Your grimoire. Or Book of Shadows, spell book, whatever you wish to call it. The name is not as important as its purpose.”

“Which… is?”

“To document your journey. Everything you learn about magic you put it here. Not only to track your progress, but also to look back if you ever need to remember something you might have forgotten. A grimoire marks a diligent student, and later a true magic user.”

“Wow… Uhm, okay.” Remus turned the book over in his hands, inspecting the simple black leather and the yellowed pages. Now that he thought about it, hadn’t Virgil always read and written in a tattered tome bound in black leather? He wondered if he got his own grimoire from the warlock too…

Oooh, how cool would it be if he used the blood of his enemies to write in this?? Now THAT would make it a properly badass cursed spellbook-

Remus quickly shook his head and repressed that thought faster than Logan would dismiss his weird experiment ideas. Oh nice, he was getting good at that!

“Thank you.” Remus said sincerely as he held the book against his chest. It had been years since anyone had given him something, anything, even as simple as a book. He wished he could give something back in return. What would Roman do? Pay him a compliment maybe…? But what was a good non-weird compliment?

Tell him his face is magnificent, and you totally want to sit on-

Remus quickly squashed that down. Nope, nope, definitely not!

“Now then,” Deceit smiled as he handed Remus a short pencil. “Shall we begin?”

“Yes!!” Remus grabbed the pencil, bouncing in his spot. Finally! “Yes, yes, yes please!!”

“I like your attitude. Here is your first study subject,” Deceit gestured to their surroundings. “Herbology.”

Remus blinked a few times. “Hebelowhatnow?”

“Herbology, meaning the study of magical and mundane plants and their use in occult practices. It is the perfect start for a beginner, as herbology is a type of magic where you don’t necessarily need to have other magical qualities to become an expert in.” Deceit explained as he grabbed and filled the watering can at the indoor waterfall. “And much like potions, it is more of a science than an art.”

“Right, awesome!” Remus opened the book and hastily scribbled ‘Hebelogie’ on the first page. “So is herbology just a fancy name for gardening?”

Deceit chuckled. “Not exactly.” He took his watering can and took off into the greenhouse. Remus followed.

“While it’s true that there are obvious similarities between gardening and herbology, they are two very different things,” Deceit explained while they walked, occasionally watering one of the plants. “For one, gardening is for plants used for either beautification or consumption. A herbology garden is explicitly used for magical purposes.”

“Makes sense, makes sense…” Remus nodded seriously, hoping to sound very knowledgeable.

“Secondly,” Deceit halted for a minute and drew a rune in the dirt of a small bush with heart shaped fruits. “While spells and runes can absolutely be applied in an ordinary garden as well, it’s more common to do these things in a herbology garden.”

“Spells and runes, gotcha!” Remus tried to see what kind of rune Deceit had drawn, but he had to catch up to the other before he could get a clear look.

“Lastly, and most importantly, there are some plants that no gardener without magical experience should ever handle. For example.”

The warlock halted before the tree with the silver clusters of flowers. Once again the flowers unfurled to reveal their yellow stamens. The warlock stooped down and grabbed a bucket with a tightly closed lid, which had been hidden under the greenery of another plant.

“Observe.” He said as he opened the lid. Immediately the sickly stench of rotten meat drifted upwards, making the warlock draw back with a small flinch. Even so though he reached into the bucket with his bare hand, grabbing a handful of slimy, rancid meat and righting himself. Remus’ head completely blanched on the many questions he had as he saw how the tree’s stamens righted themselves, swaying back and forth, as if it reacted to the smell.

“Putidus Carptus.” Deceit said as he threw the meat right into the awaiting flowers. The branches immediately wrapped themselves around the meat, pulling it inwards and out of sight. “Otherwise known as ‘Soldier’s Despair’ in farmer’s tongue. A tree known for sprouting in the midst of a ravaged battlefield, eating away any rot and decay around it. Whole forests have been known to sprout in prior combat zones.” He threw another piece of meat into the flowers, which was met with equal enthusiasm. “Usually it dies out if it has eaten all the decay, but when hungry enough in its final days of bloom it has been known for eating fresh meat as well in its desperation.” The warlock murmured a quick spell and the filth on his hand disappeared. “Funnily enough, it’s flowers and stamens can be used to create multiple healing potions for various illnesses. Just goes to show you even Mother Nature likes irony sometimes.”

Remus nodded, open mouthed and only half hearing the explanation. He stared, starry eyed, at the moving branches as they ate away at the meat.

“That… Is…” He said with a growing grin on his face. “So…” Amazing, awesome, fucking cool as SHIT, his mind supplies, but he said none. Biting back his grin he considered his options. Yes, he thinks it’s cool, but Roman would hate the plant. In fact, he would probably be disgusted by it!

Be like Roman, he reminded himself. Be. Like. Roman.

“…Disturbing,” Remus said finally, despite his heart wanting to stick his hand in the flowers and see if they would nibble on him too. “So very disturbing.”

The warlock gave a short hum. “Its beauty may be lost to those who look no further than what purpose it can serve, but I can appreciate its willingness to do a dirty job.”

Suddenly uncertain if he had said the right thing, Remus turned to the other to ask more. Deceit however seemed to already have moved on, now picking away dead branches of a very normal looking apple tree.

“But if this is a magical garden,” He asked, repressing his doubt for now. “Why are things like apples here? Isn’t that regular garden stuff?”

“Hardly. While it’s true that some plants have more… Obvious magical qualities than others,” Deceit picked away another branch, “More ‘mundane’ plants can actually enhance intentions in spells and potions.”

“Right. Because…” Remus thought for a second. “You choose them based on what your intent with a spell is…?” He hesitantly asked. He was rewarded for his question with another brain melting smile from the warlock.

“That is correct. Well deduced.”

Remus felt something in him swell with pride. He couldn’t remember the last time a teacher (or anyone really) complimented him. Usually people either looked disgusted or annoyed when he asked questions.

Then it hit him. The perfect compliment. One that wasn’t gross or inappropriate. Wiggling his shoulders in excitement he propped his elbow on the tree next to the warlock and planted his other hand on his side.

“So… He started, hoping he sounded casual and failing miserably. “Herbology, potions, spells…” He smiled what he thought was a good imitation of Roman’s signature golden smile. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

The warlock’s smile fell. A flash of some emotion crossed his face, but it was gone before Remus could decipher what it was.

“…Let’s continue.” Deceit said flatly as he turned away from the tree, leaving Remus in his prime flirting pose feeling very confused. After a few seconds of him puzzling what the fuck just happened Remus hastily scrambled after him. Obviously he had said something wrong… But what? For the life of him he could not figure out what.

He’s probably just disgusted by you. Accept it.

“Uuuh, hey!” Remus called out to drown the voice of reason. Deceit stopped and turned.

“What?” He said in that same flat tone. Remus winced, his eyes darting for something, anything-!

“Roses!” Remus quickly said.

“…What about them?” Deceit raised an eyebrow.

“Well, uhm- What kind of magical qualities do roses have?” Remus gestured to the plants in question, which grew alongside the path they currently walked. “I mean the gardens back home were full of them! Don’t tell me I had a secret stash of magic supplies right under my nose and wasted an opportunity to sell them off to the highest bidder!”

Deceit’s stance eased. “Ah, good question.” He said. Remus sagged in relief. Good save there.

“It’s true that roses have no overt magical qualities,” The warlock said made his way to Remus and smoothed out some of the roses. “But they’re used in plenty of potions and spells as enhancers.”

“Like what kind?” Remus asked curiously.

“The thorns can be used in protection spells and minor curses,” Deceit fussed over a white rose, one that hadn’t quite bloomed yet. “With the petals it depends on the colour. Remember, intent is everything. White petals for example can be used for blessings, while yellow petals are useful in anti-depressant potions.”

“Right,” Remus nodded as he scribbled ‘patels and colur meening’ in his grimoire. “And red petals?”

“Oh, those are used for love potions, aphrodisiacs, that kind of thing.”

“R-Really…?” Remus gave himself a mental pat on the back as he managed to push away the delightfully delicious images that the word aphrodisiacs conjured up. “That- That’s interesting…”

“You know,” Deceit said slowly as he looked at the rosebud. “It’s here you find the real difference between gardeners and herbalists.”

“Oh yeah?” Remus raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. While we both agree that nature will always do the most work, sometimes we can give…” Deceit gently touched the bud. A spark of gold flickered at his fingertips, before it spread through the veins of the flower like thin glowing rivers. “A helping hand.”

The flower trembled as it slowly, ever so slowly, unfurled its petals. The golden veins glimmered, casting Deceit’s face in soft light. Lightly Deceit cupped the flower and leaned in to inhale its scent. Remus couldn’t help but stare as a smile softened the sharp angles of the warlock’s face.

“I wish I was that rose…” Remus muttered reverently.

“What did you say?” Deceit blinked up at him.

“I SAID YOU’RE GROSS!!” Remus blurted.

Slapping a hand in front of his mouth, Remus stared at the warlock’s stunned face. Oh fuck oh fuck OH FUCK-

How the fuck do I get myself out of this, what do I do what do I DO-??? Don’t let him ask questions do something follow your instinct QUICK!!!

Turning, Remus grabbed and pulled the nearest plant from the ground and shoved it into his mouth.

“No wait, DON’T EAT THAT-!!”

--

Remus hurled, and added some more of his stomach fluids into the empty flowerpot he was currently hunched over. He lost count at this point how many times he had puked into the clay pot by now, and yet the vomit still came at an alarming speed. The cool hands that diligently brushed his hair back as he was unpleasantly reacquainted with his breakfast only made this whole situation so much worse.

“Well then,” The warlock said dryly. “Hopefully this will be a wise lesson not to eat any plant you’ve never seen before.”

Another miserable roll of his stomach made Remus heave out some more fluids. At this point it was nothing but bile. “W-What the fuck did I eat…?” He managed to miserably whine out.

“That was a little plant called “Atrejeci”. Or, as it is more commonly known, Charcoal Root. In its diluted form it can purify mild poisons from your bloodstream. In its undiluted form however it just purifies the body…” Deceit paused as Remus puked out some more stomach acid. “…In a more literal sense.”

“Cool,” Remus muttered pitifully. “Cool cool cool cool cool. How long is this going to last exactly…?”

“Seeing as you ate nearly half a plant, you’ll probably be here a while.”

“Great…”

“Not to worry, it shouldn’t be fatal in the long run as long as we treat it well.” The warlock patted him between the shoulder blades. “I’m going to get you some water. You’ll be losing a lot of liquids in the coming hour, and we need to make sure you don’t get dehydrated.”

“Okay, you do that…” Remus babbled as footsteps echoed away from him. “I’ll be here…!” He heaved again and leaned his sweaty forehead against the flowerpot’s cool edge. “Not going anywhere…”

Nice going, idiot. Nothing quite says “romance” like gratuitous vomiting!

“Well at least I distracted him…” Remus muttered. His stomach felt like it was determined to burn a hole through his flesh and turn him into the world’s most horrifying fountain.

Ah yes, at least you did that… All the while showing how you are nothing but a screw-up. How long do you think those magic lessons will last now?

“Shut up-” Remus murmured miserably before he felt another hurl coming up and he had to spit out more bile.

--

The serene sounds of vomiting followed Deceit as he made his way to his little indoor waterfall. His new student was an… Odd one, to say the least.

“he’s an idiot.” Eris contributed from his shoulders.

“Be nice, dear.” Deceit distractedly muttered.

“he does not take this seriously. why do you bother?”

“On the contrary,” Deceit answered as he grabbed a wooden pitcher from his supply table. “I think he takes it incredibly seriously.”

Eris gave him a disbelieving head tilt. “how can you tell?”

“Because, my sceptical serpent,” Deceit gave Eris a small flick on her nose, earning him an offended hiss and a snap at his fingers in return. “He wants this chance to prove himself to a near desperate degree.”

Yes, spending more time with Remus this day had given him a clearer image of the prince. The eagerness to please, the careless willingness to put his life into the hands of a complete stranger, the disbelieving joy when he got even the smallest of compliments, the fear and badly hidden flinches when he did something wrong… All of it was starting to paint a picture, and not a very pretty one.

With a scowl he held a pitcher in the waterfall. Goodness, just when he thought he couldn’t hate Augusto more… The man unfortunately just kept surprising him.

Oh well… In a weird sense he supposed he should be thankful that his nemesis had screwed up his parenting this badly. If he hadn’t, it would have been so much harder to persuade Remus to his side. Now he didn’t even need to do anything! The ease almost unnerved him a little bit. Although he definitely could have used that same kind of ease with his… Previous student…

He had wandered quite a bit further from the castle than he usually did. He tried to convince himself it was because he was looking for a specific herb for one of his potions, but in truth… It had been for no other reason than pure restlessness.

The lights of the small city at the base of the mountain gleamed in the darkness of the night. Occasionally shouting of drunken folk would echo upwards to where Deceit stood, silent and observing. He had gotten close enough to the houses that he could see the people walking in the streets, crawling around like busy little ants. Usually he avoided coming this close but alas, it appeared that his hubris had gotten the better of him yet again. Though he doubted anyone would see him even if they did bother to look up. His black cloak made him one with the shadows. Invisible to those unsuspecting fools who cowered at the mere mention of his existence.

The night sky deepened, and one by one the lights went out in the city. People sought out their warm homes and comfy beds, yet the warlock kept looking until the quiet of the mountains pressed in on him once more. Like he was suffocated under a pillow.

Deceit sighed. Why did he come here? More importantly, why did he stay here so long? Reluctantly he tore his gaze away from the darkened city and started to walk up the path he walked a thousand times before. Eris would probably have started to worry by now. He better try to come up with some good excuse-

He stopped. He perked his ears, frowning. Deceit had been in the mountains for a very, very long time. He knew every sound these peaks and valleys made at night by heart, every creature’s howl, every whisper the wind would carry.

What he heard now however? That decidedly did not belong here.

Curiously he followed the sound. To him it almost sounded like a wounded animal, but the closer and closer he got he slowly realized that couldn’t be it. That’s how he found the ravine.

The ravines could be found all throughout the mountains. Treacherous, gaping chasms hidden in the rough landscape. Invisible to the eye until it was too late. Especially in the dark, when the shadows would hide their depths until someone stumbled into them. Deceit suspected that these fissures had added more people to the missing list than he ever did. Unless you were very careful or knew the mountain paths well it was almost impossible to avoid them.

Treading carefully towards the rocky edge of the fissure, Deceit peered in. It was not as deep as some of these ravines could get, but still deep enough that the moonlight did not reach all the way down. Luckily Deceit’s night vision had always been very good, so he could just make out the figure squirming at the bottom. Hurt grunts floated up towards him as the person in the fissure tried to wobbly stand, only to fall back over with an anguished wail.

Deceit tilted his head. Why on earth had they tried to enter the Desolate Mountains? Surely if they lived this close they must have heard the stories of him and his infamous reputation. Hadn’t those been enough? He almost felt a little insulted.

Well, he supposed it didn’t matter now. Whoever the poor sod was, if they were hurt they wouldn’t be able to climb out of the fissure by themselves. They would just become another disappearance. Another rumour for the gossipers down below. Deceit shrugged and turned to leave.

“Shit-! Come on, get up get up-! OW!!”

Deceit froze on the spot. The voice that drifted upwards from the fissure kept on babbling, panicked, pained and…

And they sounded so young.

Another distressed ‘No, no! Get up please!’ floating up only confirmed it. Whoever it was down there, they were young. Hell, they sounded like they hadn’t quite hit puberty yet. Maybe it was one of those snot-lipped city kids who dared each other to go in the mountains to prove how brave they were. But even then they never got this far up! Why had this kid travelled all this way?

Deceit shook his head. It was none of his business. Surely if their parents missed them they would come and look for them.

…But would they be on time? Even if they dared to enter the mountains for a rescue mission (which was unlikely) it did not guarantee that the kid was found before a predator with less mercy than Deceit would. Or before he starved to death, or any other gruesome fate. The mountains were cruel, especially to those who were hurt. By this rate the kid would most likely be dead by morning…

No, this was ridiculous! He didn’t know the little idiot, and besides! They knew the dangers when they went into the mountains! It was their own fault for coming here!

Deceit knew all that, and yet his feet refused to move away from the fissure. A pained cry echoed towards him, causing something to tug at the tattered strings of his heart and- Oh no, was that his conscious talking??? He thought he got rid of that thing years ago!

Another distressed wail. Deceit closed his eyes, frustration and resignation coming out in a long grunting sigh before he snapped his fingers and transported himself. Right before the teenager stuck at the bottom of the ravine.

At first they didn’t notice him. The boy- Or at least, Deceit thought it was a boy- looked to be around twelve or thirteen. Dark locks fell down in unruly bangs, hiding away his eyes behind a thick curtain of hair. The boy grunted and grabbed the rocky wall to try to stand up once more. Incredibly dumb of him. If Deceit had to judge from the sight of the boy’s ankle, which was wrapped in improvised bandages darkened with blood and bent at an angle that couldn’t mean anything good, he had made quite a nasty fall.

As Deceit moved to get a better look, the boy finally noticed him and fell back down with a startled shout.

“Who are you?!” The boy yelled, shuffling backwards. Deceit held up his hands in a calming gesture.

“I’m not here to harm you.”

“Like hell you are!”

Deceit rolled his eyes impatiently and didn’t answer. What use was explaining now when that ankle was in such desperate need for a healing?

“Stay back!” The boy yelled as Deceit kept advancing in on him. “I’m warning you!”

“Foolish boy, I’m just here to help you-!”

“I am the warlock of these mountains!” The boy growled with a ferocity that made Deceit pause in his steps. “Dare to come any closer and I will hex your ass!”

Blinking a few times in surprise, Deceit fought against the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth. Now that was one he hadn’t heard before. If it hadn’t been for the underlying prepubescent quality of the boy’s voice, he would have actually sounded threatening enough to fool someone.

“I said stay back!!” The boy growled once more as Deceit stepped closer. “Didn’t you hear me?! I am the warlock of these mountains!!”

“Oooh?” Deceit said amusedly as he kneeled to the boy’s eye height. A snap of his fingers made a small flame flicker to life in his palm, illuminating his face in threatening shadows. “Are you now…?” He grinned, his fangs flashing in the flickering light.

In the light of the flame Deceit saw the colour drain from the boy’s cheeks as he realized his mistake.

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit- I’m sorry-!” The boy babbled as he tried his best to crawl even further back, despite the stone behind him. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know-! I didn’t mean to insult you, I’m sorry-!”

“Look into my eyes.” Deceit said calmly.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me, I didn’t mean it-!”

“I said look into my eyes.”

At the commanding hiss the boy’s eyes unwillingly snapped up and looked right into the bright glow of Deceit’s hypnotizing gaze. As he saw the boy’s eyes glaze over in molten gold obedience Deceit smirked.

“There we go! Was that so hard?” Deceit drawled. “Now, tell me the truth. What is your name?”

“V-Virgil…” The boy stammered. “Virgil Becker.”

“Virgil.” Deceit nodded. “Such a pleasure to meet you! What exactly are you doing in my mountains, Virgil?”

“I… I…” Virgil seemed to struggle to find the words. Trying to lie already? Goodness, what a shame.

“No use lying to me, boy. Why are you here?”

“I ran away!” The truth finally came out in a rush.

“Right,” Deceit nodded. “And your first idea was to come here? That seems a little foolish, don’t you agree? What, were you looking to prove yourself? Hoping to earn your peers’ praise by pretending you’re brave?”

“N-No…” Virgil shook his head. “I came here because… Because…”

“Because…?”

“Because he wouldn’t follow me if I went into the mountains.”

Deceit paused. Forgetting his ‘dreaded warlock’ act for a second, he finally fully took in the boy in front of him. His thin frame, the hollowed out face. He squinted. Now that he took a closer look, there seemed to be something… Hiddenbehind the boy’s long bangs.

Virgil flinched as Deceit reached out his hand, but all he did was gently brush away his bangs from his eyes. Deceit’s breath hitched. Virgil’s left eye was almost swollen shut, dark purple and yellow bruising pulling most of his eye white from sight. It didn’t look like he had gotten it falling down. It looked to be at least a few days old.

“Oh dear…” Deceit said softly. “This world has hurt you terribly, hasn’t it…?”

Perhaps it was Deceit’s words, or his drastically gentler tone, but the fear seemed to disappear from the boy’s shaking frame. Confusion seemed to take its place as Virgil openly gawked at Deceit. Suddenly uncomfortable under the boy’s stare Deceit grappled to find back his control.

“Sssleep.” Deceit hurriedly commanded. Immediately Virgil’s eyes started drooping, and though he valiantly tried to fight it off it was no use. Deceit breathed a sigh of relief as Virgil’s head eventually nodded forward and he fell into a deep slumber.

Hoping to get rid of the uncomfortable ache in his stomach, Deceit finally focused on the boy’s ankle. As he unwrapped the boy’s improvised bandages he fought back a wince. Up close it was even worse than he had initially thought. The skin had broken, and if he saw it correctly through all the clotted blood the bone was actually sticking out. Not only that, but also the too warm skin and the beginning of blackened veins surrounding the wound suggested that the boy was developing an infection. This was not something he could just heal then and there. The boy needed five separate healing sessions at the very least.

He shook his head. No. No, this was not his problem. He would heal the boy just enough that he wouldn’t die for the next 24 hours and leave him at the edge of the mountains. He would go back to his life thinking this encounter was just a fever dream, and they would go their happy separate ways.

Except… What if he didn’t survive it? What if he couldn’t stop the infection from spreading to his heart, and the boy would die a miserable death before he could even reach his hometown again? Besides, there were still other predators on the loose. Deceit highly doubted a mountain lion or one of the Fair Folk would be as kind as him.

Not only that, what if the boy did somehow survive and didn’t think it was a dream? What if he told everyone about this encounter? Yes, most people would probably declare him crazy, but there would always be people who would believe him. Who would know the warlock they feared had not only spared, but also healed someone who went into his mountains. The reputation he had so carefully cultivated would slowly fall apart, and before you know it some brainless knights would march into the mountains again to come for him. He couldn’t let that happen!

Or, some traitorous part of Deceit whispered as he looked at the unconscious boy, what if the one he fled away from will find him first…?

He didn’t realize he had dug his talons into the flesh of his own palms until his skin broke and small beads of red trickled from his clenched fists. Cursing the traitorous little voice and every deity he could think of, Deceit spat out a spell under his breath. The boy levitated from the ground, his head rolling backwards like a marionette without its strings as he floated in mid-air. Deceit rose, already dreading the journey home.

How on earth was he going to explain this to Eris?

The sound of another hurl pulled him out of his memories. Deceit shook his head and grabbed the pitcher, which was full by now. There was no use dwelling on his past mistakes. All he had to do was make sure he wouldn’t repeat them.

Walking back to his newest student with the pitcher in hand, Deceit carefully thought over his next step. Perhaps it was wiser to not jump to his next course of action too quick. It appeared he was compromised anyhow. He shuddered. At first he had thought he had finally found the person who could actually successfully lie to him... Wasn’t that a terrifying thought?

But thank the stars that hadn’t been the case. He just hadn’t seen his honesty. True honesty… Now that was something he hadn’t seen in a long while. No wonder he hadn’t recognized it at first.

Nevertheless, better to tread more carefully. He had always prided himself on his talent to see right through people, but it appeared that his years of isolation had damaged that talent. Deceit snorted. Hell, if he didn’t know any better he would think Remus was attracted to him.

[amandabe11man]

While I was slacking off, I decided to finally go about translating that old Hitcher-novelization I attempted when I was 14-15, and here it is! I changed some things that didn’t make sense in my original write-up (check out the Author’s Notes here and there), but I tried to keep it pretty faithful to how I originally wrote it, despite there being, well... a lot to be improved on probably.

I remember I was so stoked to write this, and hell, as you’ll see, I even managed to write down the first sequence before I ran out of juice. Who knows, I might continue some time. Either way, if anyone else in our tiny fandom would like to continue where this left off, feel free to do so, xD

But yeah, let’s start off with some carefully picked intellectual quotes, shall we?:

PART 1

“Man is his own worst enemy.” - Cicero “Better to be alone than in bad company.” - Italian proverb

CHAPTER 1.

Oh, fucking shit, Jim Halsey mused where he sat. I’m out of coffee again! Jim had been driving all night, and it was now half past twelve in the morning. It was still dark and the rain roared against the windshield. He’d seen the odd lightning bolt a few times, but luckily, they seemed to be far away.

Before he’d left his home in Chicago, he’d brewed a generous amount of coffee to bring in his thermos, since he knew he’d probably find it hard to stay awake throughout the long trip. So far, he’d had to stop at seven gas stations to refill his coffee, since Jim was quick to finish a thermos. Now he was on his way to the eighth gas station, while also considering to just skip the coffee altogether and just try to stay awake out of sheer willpower alone. But that was easier said than done. Right now, his whole life pretty much revolved around that damn coffee. But he wasn’t so sure that there’d be another station for another 6 miles or so. In that case, he’d have to pull himself together. That, if anything, was easier said than done.

In the beginning, Jim thought the rain’s roar against the windshield had sounded unpleasant, but as he’d grown more tired in time, he’d started finding it inviting; lulling him to a certain death if he so much as fell asleep for one second. Though, in his case, one second pretty much felt like an eternity. Jim’s head nodded involuntarily. For a moment, the road before him disappeared while the roaring rain sounded more inviting than ever. He’d just take a little nap, nothing more.

There was a sudden loud, blaring sound. Jim’s head shot up from where it had been resting on his chest, just in time to swerve out of the oncoming lane and the big truck that was headed straight for him. He quickly got back into his own lane and allowed himself to heave a sigh of relief as soon as he was out of danger. So far there wasn’t a single sign of a gas station. He’d begun to accept that he wouldn’t be able to stay awake behind the wheel and that checking into the nearest motel would be for the best.

The traffic was scarce tonight. The only cars he’d met, or even seen, had of course been the truck that almost collided with him, a nice-looking Mercedes and a little white Buggy that had passed him. *(A/N: I changed it in the translation, but originally, I had written that Jim had passed the Buggy, for some reason. Either I didn’t realize that particular car’s significance later or I just forgot. ANYWAY--) Suddenly, Jim thought he saw the outline of a building in the distance, most likely a motel. He was just about to turn towards the driveway when he noticed a grayish shadow emerge in the rain. The figure stood with their arm stretched out and their thumb turned upwards. A hitchhiker.

Jim was hesitant about pulling over, but then realized how selfish it would be to just leave that poor guy (who had probably stood there for a long time) out in the rain. He made his decision. Besides, some company might help him to stay awake. Jim stopped the car a bit further down the road and watched through the side mirror as the hitchhiker hurried over in his direction. Once the man had reached the passenger door, he started pulling the handle. The door wouldn’t open. The man then called upon Jim’s attention by tapping his knuckles against the window. Jim unlocked the door and the man could finally settle down in the passenger seat next to Jim. When he closed the door, a horrible squeaking sound was heard. Shitty door. I should oil it.

“My mother told me never to do this”, Jim said, hearing the slight joking tone of his voice and instantly regretting it. The man didn’t reply, and neither did he show in any way that he’d heard Jim’s remark.  Jim started the engine and drove away again.

The silence in the car was deafening, and Jim felt he had to break the ice somehow; start up a conversation.

“My name’s Jim Halsey”, he said, and reached a free hand out to the man. The man responded in kind and took Jim’s hand.

“John... Ryder.”

Suddenly, Ryder surged forward with a sneeze.

“Bless you”, said Jim.

Ryder didn’t reply and the silence settled once again. The only sounds were Ryder’s heavy breathing and the rain’s roar against the windshield, which was starting to get deafening by now. Finally, Jim asked:

“Where should I drop you off?”

“I’m getting your car wet.”

“This isn’t my car”, Jim answered, glad to have finally gotten the guy to talk. “I’m driving it out to a guy in California.”

Ryder turned his head towards him, looking infinitely tired. Maybe just like Jim had felt earlier.

“Do you have a smoke?”, asked Ryder.

“Sure.”

Jim pulled out his pack of Camels and extended it to Ryder, who took one and put it in his mouth. Then he took out a weathered lighter from his coat pocket, lit the cigarette and immediately started inhaling the smoke.

“You’re gonna tell me where you’re going?”, Jim asked again.

“Sure.”

There was a short pause again, and Jim could feel Ryder’s stare on him.

“What are you looking at me like that for?”, he asked.

Ryder’s answer was delayed, before he turned his head away and murmured:

“Just looking.”

Suddenly, Jim caught a glimpse of a little car that looked to have been ditched by the side of the road. It was the white Buggy. He leaned closer to gauge the situation further, but then there was a sudden movement beside him and before he knew it, they were speeding down the road again, pushing 70. Once they had put a significant distance between them and the Buggy, Ryder saw it fit to remove his hand, which had been pushing Jim’s leg down on the gas pedal. Then he sat back in his seat again like nothing ever happened. *(A/N: In my original write-up, I changed this part so that John somehow pushed the gas pedal down himself, without the aid of Jim’s leg. I probably wasn’t sure how I was going to write down what actually happened, so I simplified it. But since it’s kinda an important moment, I changed it now in the translation)

Jim was at a loss for words, so surprised had he been. Now he wasn’t the least bit tired anymore. He turned to Ryder.

“What’d you do that for?”, he shouted while trying his best to keep his voice steady.

“Scared ya?” Ryder grinned at him, cigarette between his fingers.

Jim had had enough. He stepped on the brakes so hard that they both surged forward a bit before the car came to a stop. He then turned to face Ryder, still feeling jumpy. “I think you better get off now”, he said. “Ride’s over.”

Ryder didn’t move a muscle; just kept staring at Jim, who tried again.

“Goodbye.”

Something changed in Ryder’s eyes. Now he almost looked offended; as if someone wanting to throw him out of their car was the most preposterous thing imaginable. Still, he shifted a little and opened the door.

Jim was relieved. Enormously so. Sure he might be in need of some company, but then he’d rather pick up another hitchhiker. This guy seemed fucking nuts.

Ryder held the remnants of his cigarette up for a while, as if examining it, before dropping it on the wet asphalt and closing the door again. And just like that, Jim’s hope was extinguished; just like the faint embers of Ryder’s cigarette, immediately drenched by the rain. Again, Jim was speechless.

Ryder sat back into the seat with a smile on his lips, rain pouring down his face.

“I’m gonna sit here”, he said. Then he turned his head toward Jim again, smile widening. “And you’re gonna drive.” Then he suddenly surged forward and sneezed again. “Excuse me.”

Then it was quiet. Jim didn’t know what to say or how to act, but since he was in dire need of some answers, he asked:

“What was it about the car back there?”

“Why?”

“Thought I saw something, that’s all”, he trailed off.

A sudden flash of lightening lit up Ryder’s face, amplifying the glow of his icy blue eyes while he smiled at Jim, almost amused.

“I ran out of gas”, he said finally.

“So you wanna go to a gas station?”, Jim asked, hope reignited.

“Would help.”

Why didn’t he say that right away?, Jim thought sulkily, while starting the car back up. Silence fell once again, but this time, Jim didn’t feel like chatting. Better to just shut up. He’d have to make due with the roar of the rain instead, while he dealt with an ever growing longing to drop this John Ryder off. And while they were at it, Jim might as well refill that coffee thermos when they got to the gas station too. Finding hitchhikers out here in the middle of nowhere was not a guarantee, after all.

Jim gulped and silently thought back to his mother’s words from so many years ago. Still, he remembered it like it was yesterday; the whole process seared into his brain. Back then, his mom had been suspicious of just about anyone; never being one to see the good in strangers. Jim, just having received his first car, had been given his mom’s advice to never pick up hitchhikers. She’d said:

“Jim, never trust anyone. Wherever you go, there’s going to be all sorts of scummy people. And most definitely never ever pick up a hitchhiker.” Never pick up a hitchhiker... Never pick up a hitchhiker... Never pick up a hitchhiker... His mother’s words resounded in his brain until he was sure he’d go mad, before his thoughts were suddenly interrupted; as if cut off with a scissor, when Ryder spoke.

“Gas stations have cigarettes.”

Jim was even more perplexed now. “What about the gas?”, he asked.

“I don’t need gas.”, Ryder answered. It was as if he was enjoying being interrogated. At that moment, Jim lost any patience he had left, and didn’t even try to hold back his feelings when he yelled:

“WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

Ryder’s voice was husky when he started laughing. Jim didn’t know why he joined in on it. They both laughed for what felt like an hour, until whatever was humorous about the situation disappeared again, if it had existed to begin with. Jim turned to Ryder, still with a hesitant smile on his lips.

“What’s so funny?”, he asked.

“That’s what the other guy said”, Ryder chortled.

“Who’s the other guy?”

“The guy who was driving that car back there, the one who picked me up before you did.”

“Was that him in the car?”

“Sure it was”, Ryder said. “He couldn’t have walked very far.”

“And... why is that?” Jim didn’t like where this was going. And he hadn’t liked the situation to begin with. Ryder lowered his gaze.

“Because... I cut off his legs”, he said as he looked back up at Jim, smiling again. But not in a way that assured Jim that what he just said had been a joke. Ryder continued. “And his arms... and his head.”

He had stopped smiling now, as he looked out the window again. “And I’m gonna do the same to you”, he said.

What? Jim’s mind was reeling. It has to be a joke. It has to be! Jim couldn’t believe he’d been so unlucky as to let a murderer into his car. But that fact was made clearer still when Ryder retrieved something from the inner pocket of his coat. Jim couldn’t quite tell what it was, until the object glinted slightly.

“Don’t”, Ryder warned as he held up the pocket knife, seeming to show it off.

Jim jumped a little behind the wheel, but he knew he needed to try to keep calm unless he wanted to die. He wound up just keeping quiet while staring ahead out the windshield, trying to calm himself down. It wasn’t working. ------------------------- (A/N: Now for some POV-change! Bet you always wanted to know what that old roadworker guy was thinking, huh? Well, wonder no more! Hell, I even gave him a name.

Also I had no idea what job he actually had, so I went with him being a customs officer because... I guess it made sense at the time.)

Henry Rockwell stood right in the middle of what must’ve been torrential rain at this point, trying to make out any cars in the distance. He was middle-aged and had worked as a customs officer for well over twenty years. Unsurprisingly, he’d grown tired of it lately, and was planning on finding a new job before his retirement. He hated taking the damn night shift. Sure, he wasn’t alone on his post, but judging by the other guys’ faces, they were as tired as him. Of course it’s taxing to wait around for hours for passing cars, having to greet tired drivers and be courteous. A lot of the drivers that came by weren’t just tired either, but annoyed. He couldn’t fault them though; having most likely drove all night and just wanting to be done as soon as possible.

So far only four cars had passed, and he hoped that the fifth one would be the last. Then, with some luck, him and the guys would be relieved earlier.

And suddenly, there came the thing he had been impatiently looking for; a car. A red, classic sportscar. *(A/N: Once again, I have no idea what kinda car Jim’s driving...)  Behind the drenched windshield, he could make out two figures in the front seats. The car stopped at the barrier and Henry made his way there, a pep in his step.

The guy behind the wheel wound down the window on his side, revealing himself to be a young guy of around 20. He looked spooked somehow, but there was probably nothing to worry about. Henry leaned forward slightly and looked in through the window, laying eyes upon the man sat beside the young driver. The man looked to be around 40-something and he was wearing a long dark green trenchcoat, that looked even darker after being exposed to the rain. *(A/N: AGA I N  I don’t know? Seriously, I’ve never been able to make up my mind on what color John’s coat is. Just when I’m sure it’s green, I see another picture and it looks grey, etc... It’s like that gotdamn dress (you know the one)) He was slightly leaning forward too, peeking out the open window and smiling. It looked like he had something in his hand. Henry started talking to the driver, but was unable to look away from the man beside him.

“Where in Illinois are you from?”, he asked the young guy, who jerked his head up a little, like he’d been awakened from some kind of trance.

“Wh- what?”

“Your license plate”, Henry clarified. While he waited patiently for an answer, the man beside the kid spoke instead.

“Tell the man”, he told the kid, who started looking even more spooked. Henry swore he heard a light tremble in his voice.

“Chigaco”, he finally managed, not without difficulty.

“I see. My wife’s from Rockford”, Henry replied, wanting to ease the tension. “Do you have a cigarette?”

“No.”

Henry was surprised when, yet again, the man beside the kid spoke in his place. Without thinking, Henry’s gaze travelled lower when he noticed the man making a slow move with his arm, his hand coming to rest on the kid’s crotch. The young man jumped again, letting out a gasp before he could calm himself.

It seemed to make sense now; these two were probably one of those homosexuals couples, with the kid being noticeably scared of being found out. Henry supposed he couldn’t blame him. He wasn’t one of those homophobes, but he could understand if the kid would be embarrassed right out in public. But Henry almost thought it looked like the man was holding something against the guy’s crotch; something that made him all jittery. But really, it was probably nothing. Henry straightened back up and caught the kid’s scared and almost begging look. It was like he didn’t want Henry to go; almost as if he was scared to be left alone with the man beside him.

He shook his head lightly though (Stop imagining things like that), raising his arm to point out the direction for them.

“All right, the road’s clear now. Come on, get going, sweethearts.” “Bye”, the man said, grinning at Henry. *(A/N: I can’t believe I didn’t write down the part where John seems to blow this guy a kiss, dammit.)  The kid looked over his shoulder at Henry one more time before he had to turn his attention back on the road. It had stopped raining now and you could see the dawn on the horizon.

Henry followed the red sportscar with his eyes as it drove away, taking its strange passengers with it. After a while, he went into the booth to call his boss, to tell him he was quitting.

-------------------------

Jim felt when Ryder removed the recessed knife from his crotch and inwardly, he sighed in relief, while still being frozen in fear. Ryder looked over the weapon for a bit, before folding the blade back out and putting the tip close to Jim’s eye.

“Do you wanna know what happens to an eyeball when it gets punctured?” Ryder shifted slightly, continuing, “Do you have any idea how much blood jets out of a guy’s neck when his throat’s been slit?”

Jim steeled himself and said, uncertainly:

“What do you want?”

“I want you to stop me”, Ryder almost whispered. Jim had to concentrate to be able to make out the words. He swallowed.

“Y-you’ve got the knife... You’ll stick it in me before I can do anything.”

“Yeah, so what have you got to lose? Stop me!”

There was a moment of silence again, and then Jim took a sharp breath. He couldn’t hold back the tears any longer; so he started crying. He hadn’t done that since he fell from his bike at age 14.

He twitched a little when Ryder carefully moved the knife over his cheek; almost like a caress. Ryder caught a tear on the blade, and let it continue rolling until it finally fell down on the seat.

“Crying won’t help”, Ryder said quietly. It almost sounded like the words were meant for himself as much as Jim. Then, Ryder said something else.

“Say four words.”

“O-okay”, Jim said without thinking, hoping this might make Ryder stop.

“Say: ‘I want to die’.”

What? Jim jerked a bit in his seat.

“I- I don’t know if I can say that”, he replied, shakily.

“Sure you can”, Ryder said, almost encouragingly. “Repeat after me: I-”

“I-”, Jim parroted, his voice trembling.

“Want-”

“W-want-”, Jim was whimpering now.

“To-”

“... To-”

“Die”, Ryder finished.

Try as he might, Jim simply could not bring himself to say that word. Then he saw it; the passenger door was slightly ajar. He glanced over at Ryder again, who was still staring at him emptily. So Jim took the plunge.

“I DON’T WANNA DIE!”, he yelled and delivered a hard shove to Ryder’s ribcage. The shove was hard enough that the man lost his breath, emitting a loud “oof”. Ryder fell back against the passenger door (What if it doesn’t open...?), which slammed open, causing Ryder to fall backwards out onto the asphalt. As he tumbled down the road, the knife came bouncing after.

Jim quickly checked himself over in the rearview mirror. Upon finding no cuts on his person, he could no longer contain his relief and exhilaration at having escaped with his life. He grinned wildly and laughed out loud. Then he looked in the rearview again, at the little dot that was Ryder, and hollered:

“Haha! Fuck you, buddy!”

-------------------------

Ryder laid on the road, trying to gather his wits after the sudden turn of events. There was an ache in his ribs from his collision with the ground. One of them was probably broken.

He took a deep breath and slowly wobbled back up on his feet, snatching up the knife as he went.

[krreader]

like a butterfly | chapter 16.

pairing: min yoongi x reader fandom: bts warnings: non idol!au ; single dad!yoongi ; language genre: fluff ; angst ; smut previous: 1 ; 2 ; 3 ; 4 ; 5 ; 6 ; 7 ; 8 ; 9 ; 10 ; 11 ; 12 ; 13 ; 14 ; 15

summary: you never planned on becoming the babysitter of min yoongi’s daughter, one of the richest and most famous producers of south korea. you also didn’t plan on becoming so attached to the little girl, as well as her father. (Or: hot, successful and single dad hires broke babysitter.)

a/n: I know that it’s been a while and I’m so fucking sorry about it. I don’t have a lot of excuses except for inspiration has been lacking, but it’s finally back. I hope you like it ♥

ask box | masterlists | faq | twitter | ko-fi | REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

“Well, well, well, if I had known you wanted to spoil me like this, I would have tried to get Taehyung to take Mei a lot sooner,” you giggled as he put the plate of food in front of you. Food that Yoongi had made because of date night.

“This is just the beginning.”

It's been more than three months, yet he still felt like he had to make up for everything that had happened. And maybe he'd always feel that way. Maybe he'd always feel like he'd have to prove to you how much he loved and appreciated you, but maybe that wasn't too bad. Maybe that's how it should be anyways. Probably.

“Well, thank you for the food,” you grabbed his shirt and pulled him down to you, enough to place your lips against his for a short but sweet kiss, before he walked around the table and sat down at the other end of the table.

When that whole thing with Minseo had happened, you never would have thought that this would be a possible outcome.

You had thought you would never see Yoongi or Mei again, thought you would live with a broken heart for years and see the famous Min Yoongi and his soon-to-be wife Minseo on screen as they walked down red carpets.

But no, none of that had happened.

Yoongi had cut her out of his life completely and you and him have had a long discussion about the entire situation.

“I know I handled it very badly,” he had said one night after you and him had tucked Mei in, “I never wanted to hurt you, I was just.. overwhelmed by everything.”

“You really loved her, didn't you?” you had asked softly, your eyes understanding.

He hadn't answered right away, but instead stared into the glass he was holding, slowly swirling the alcohol inside it around.

“I did at one point. I thought that I'd never see her again when she left me and Mei. Fuck, I didn't even know if she was okay since she got a new number and I had no way of reaching out to her. But I think.. I think that I was just never able to put an end to all of it. We never really broke up, so she always gave me hope that she'd come back eventually, especially in the first few years. Raising Mei on my own at such a young age and with barely any money.. I was just desperate, (Y/N).”

“And when she suddenly came back..-”

Yoongi had nodded, finally looking up at you, “All of it just came flooding back. I had stopped thinking about her eventually, but I never came to terms with what had happened between us. There was that old Yoongi that wanted her back and wanted another chance to have that old family that he had always wanted when he was younger. And then there was the new Yoongi, who had just built a new family with you.”

“How did you make the decision then?”

“There is a very big difference between you and her that I didn't understand till last week,” he had smiled and reached out to hold your hand, “Minseo always put me down and only wanted what was best for her. You always pull me back up and only want what's best for Mei. I realized that my daughter already had a mother.. and it was never Minseo.”

You had cried that night and so had he, both of you holding each other until you fell asleep on the couch.

It was the conversation that you both needed to start your new life together. It was an end, but it was also a new beginning.

A better beginning.

“How was work today?” you asked as you shoved the first bite into your mouth, closing your eyes for a moment to savor the taste.

Man, Yoongi should do the cooking a lot more often.

“Alright,” he said with a smirk, watching you eat for a moment, before digging in himself, “I was actually thinking about taking a break for a while.. two weeks or something.”

“Why's that?”

“Jungkook is having a break as well and since he's the only singer I'm really focusing on at the moment, I feel like I could take a break too. Spend some time with you and Mei, especially since you're having your finals soon and Mei needs someone to stay at home with her.”

“Min Yoongi, a stay at home dad,” you smiled sweetly, “I think she'd love that.”

This entire situation really has brought Mei and her father closer together. Whereas Mei used to be sad that Yoongi was never around, she now had to tell him to leave her alone because he wouldn't stay away from her for longer than thirty minutes.

Obviously she only playfully said these things, she couldn't get enough of her father.

She appreciated the tea parties and the dress-up sessions the two had and she loved it that he was now always the one bringing her to bed and reading her stories.

“You know what she would love even more?” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Yoongi, stop,” you laughed, shaking your head a little, “I told you.. after my exams..”

“I understand, really,” he hadn't even finished half of his plate, but walked around the table anyways and dropped down to his knees, more specifically, between your legs, “But we should practice a lot, you know?”

“We already do,” you tried pushing his hands away, but it didn't work – and you didn't even want it to work, so there's that.

Needless to say, as good as it tasted, dinner was quickly forgotten.

Instead, you ended up in the bedroom, Yoongi on top of you and kissing sensitive spots on your neck while you giggled and begged him to stop.

His hand was on his way down between your legs and he looked up, right before touching your clit, “Are you sure?”

“You know damn well what I mean.”

“Well, you asked me to stop and I'll do whatever you want me to do, so I'm not..-” you just pulled him down and kissed him deeply and even though he had talked a lot before, his fingers pressed against your clit relatively quickly, biting down on your lower lip when you began to moan.

At this point Yoongi knew exactly where to touch and kiss you for you to get the most pleasure out of it.

Nowadays, sex with him was the most satisfying thing ever.

Especially now after this entire mess, because Yoongi treated you like a fucking goddess.

Foreplay was longer than the sex itself.

He went down on you for what felt like an hour and you having at least three orgasms, despite being so freaking overstimulated.

But he still made it so pleasant.

After your third orgasm, he kissed his way back up again and looked into your tired eyes with a small smile.

“You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life.”

“I look ridiculous,” you laughed, your hair messy and droplets of sweat all over your body.

“No,” he leaned down and kissed your nose, “No, babe, you really don't.”

It wasn't fast or rough sex and despite of what you had initially thought, it almost never was.

Yoongi took his time, he drew it all out and was the most loving man you've ever been with. So loving that you got so emotional that you were close to crying, actually.

Because this man on top of you who looked at you like you were his life was yours.

He was finally yours.

And you'd never let him go again.

“I love you,” you whispered, your voice almost breaking.

“I love you too,” he replied, leaning down and kissing you passionately while simultaneously pushing your legs further back and hitting your g-spot that made you moan louder.

Sex lasted almost two hours, both of you completely exhausted afterwards and just cuddling against the other one, having a hard time keeping your eyes open.

But there was one thing that Yoongi still had on his mind that he wanted to ask you.

“(Y/N)?” his voice was soft, his fingertips against your cheeks even softer.

“Hm?”

Maybe he should wait longer, maybe he should do it differently and more romantically, but there was no doubt in his mind anymore.

“Marry me.”

And despite your exhaustion, you quickly pushed yourself up on your elbow and looked at him with huge eyes.

“What?!”

“I don't have a ring and I don't have a speech, but..- I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to be my wife and.. I want us to be a family. You as my wife.. Mei as.. our daughter..”

Your eyes were still big, your lips slightly parted, mostly because you hadn't expected this now, but..

“I'll buy you a ring first thing tomorrow morning, I promise, I was just..-”

But before he could finish his sentence you pressed a finger against his lips.

“Min Yoongi, I don't need a ring. I just need you. You and Mei. You as my husband and Mei as our daughter.”

And see, that was the difference between you and Minseo.

You never cared about his money.. you just cared about him and Mei.

These were the moments he realized he had made the right decisions.

Choosing you was the best thing he could have done.

The right thing.

And so you kissed him deeply and happily, because.. you were engaged.

[gumnut-logic]

We’ll Be Home For Christmas 4.1

Title: We’ll be home for Christmas

Day Four – Five Billionaires and No Wives – Part 1 Prologue | 1.1 | 1.2 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5

Author: Gumnut

11 - 29 Jan 2020

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: The boys can’t fly home for Christmas, so they have to find another way.

Word count: 3098

Spoilers & warnings: language and so, so much fluff. Science!Gordon. Artist!Virgil, Minor various ships, mostly background.

Timeline: Christmas Season 3, I have also kinda ignored the main storyline of Season 3. The boys needed a break, so I gave them one. Post season 3B, before Season 3C cos we haven’t seen it yet.

Author’s note: For @scattergraph. This is my 2019 TAG Secret Santa fic :D

It took ages, I’m sorry, work and an evil muse are to blame. But here be the next bit and I’m happy to have the story moving again. Hopefully I can get this done before Easter ::headdesk:: I hope you enjoy this anyway.

Many thanks to @vegetacide and @scribbles97 for cheering me on and their wonderful support through this craziness. And to @onereyofstarlight for geeking out with me over the setting.

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

-o-o-o-

 Day Four - Five Billionaires and No Wives

Virgil woke in bed the next morning with no memory of how he got there.

“Good morning, Virgil.”

“John?” His brother was sitting calmly in his pyjamas several beds over. Virgil blinked. He hadn’t drunk that much alcohol last night had he? Last he remembered was lying on the grass with... “Did I fall asleep-?”

The door slammed as Gordon strode in, interrupting the quiet. “Under the stars, bro, snoring like a freight train. I wanted to leave you out there. Would have had more sleep if we did, but goodie-two-shoes Johnny here had us carry your butt to bed.” Gordon had obviously been up early and was dressed in his swimwear, a towel slung over his shoulder. “I’m going down for a swim, wanna come?”

Virgil just stared at his little brother, his pre-coffee brain struggling to put that rush of information together.

Gordon blinked. “Okay, I will ask you that question again later, post-coffee. How about you, John? Want to do some floating Earthside?”

John tilted his head in acknowledgement. “Sure. I’ll see you down there shortly.”

Russet brown eyes darted between John and Virgil. “You gonna keep an eye on this one? I haven’t seen hide or hair of Scott yet, Alan’s run off with Elspeth, and Sam and Liam are heading out with me.”

“I don’t need babysitting.” He had enough neurons to put that sentence together.

Gordon snorted. “I remember saying exactly the same thing a couple of months ago and you picking me off the couch anyway.”

“You did need babysitting. Still do.” Virgil threw off the covers and found he was still dressed in the shorts from yesterday, but his shirt was missing. Okay, his brothers were the best.

“Yeah, well, it took three of us to pick you up and carry you up here.”

“Shows all three of you need to work out more.”

“Or you need to eat less.”

“There is nothing wrong with my weight. It is all muscle.” He patted his belly and suddenly remembered why that wasn’t a good thing to do. Ow.

“You idiot.” Gordon was smiling and frowning at the same time.

John rolled his eyes. “Okay, Gordon, I’ll meet you down there in about half an hour. I think our big brother needs some ‘sitting’.”

Virgil glared at both of them as he rolled to sit on the edge of the bed. Gordon was still grinning when he made his way over and offered his brother a hand to pull him upright. Another glare, but Virgil didn’t say anything, just took Gordon’s hand and pulled himself up with a grunt.

“Yep, definitely need to eat less.”

“Gordon-“

“Yeah, well, I’m off for a swim.” He patted Virgil on the back. “Have fun on the flying fox, bro.”

Wha-? Oh, the zip line.

Virgil was not fast enough to clap his brother around the ears and Gordon danced out of the room laughing.

“Little shit.”

John snorted. “Yeah, but you’ve got to love him.”

“Hmm, maybe.”

That only prompted John to snort again. “You need a hand with your shower?”

“No, I’m good.”

“In that case, I’ll go find us some breakfast.”

“Coffee?”

“And, yes, Virgil some coffee. Now go wash up, you stink.”

“Hey!”

But his smart-ass brother just pinched his nose and made a point of walking past the end of Virgil’s bed and bee-lining for the door.

“You’re an ass.”

“Hee-haw.”

-o-o-o-

A shower freshened him up and Virgil finally communed with his coffee out on the green. The day had woken with blue skies and glass ocean. They had been so lucky with the weather it was almost too good to be true. The pessimist in him idly threw up the idea of a cyclone between here and Tracy Island and he had to mentally kick himself for even thinking of it.

Because of his recent surgery, Virgil was unable to go swimming, but he chose to climb down to the beach with them anyway. John hovered like crazy because despite Gordon’s smart ass remarks, there was no zip line down to Oneraki Beach and Virgil found himself climbing down a quite steep embankment. But he took it carefully and made it onto the sand in one piece. If he was honest, he was not looking forward to climbing back up.

Fortunately, Scott was nowhere to be seen, so when he took a much needed seat in an offered deck chair, only John was there to hover over him.

Despite his brothers’ concerns he wasn’t stupid and he took the time to rest in the chair and give his hampered body a chance to recover.

“Are you sure you are okay?”

Virgil glared at John.

His younger brother held up his hands defensively. “Okay, okay, I get it. Since you are absolutely fine, I’m going in for a dip. Yell, if you need any of us.”

The glare became flat-eyed. “Will do.”

“Good.” John spun on his heel and jogged down the beach to the surf.

Trust him to have the last word. John wasn’t one to be trifled with. All the brothers knew that. While Virgil might dismissively tell Gordon or Alan to shut up, you never did that to John. You’d be risking a communications blackout isolating you from the rest of the world. His little brother was smart and kind, but he demanded and got the respect he deserved.

Not that Virgil would ever give him any less, it was just that John was a quiet one and the quiet ones were the dangerous ones.

Gordon, Sam and Liam were already in the water and it was abundantly clear that Gordon’s assessment of Sam’s surfing skills was accurate. The man fell off his board more than he stayed on it. He was even wearing some kind of specialised artificial foot, but it didn’t seem to help.

The amusing thing was that he didn’t seem to care either. He appeared to be having the time of his life either on the water or upside down in it.

The laughter bouncing across the waves from the three men was infectious and Virgil found himself grinning and wishing he could join them.

John found himself a quiet area of the beach and began swimming laps beyond the swell. Virgil might have been worried about sharks out here, but they were all familiar enough with the marine environment and Gordon was pedantic about their shark deterrent wrist bands.

Virgil, of course, was wary of his. He might not be a shark, but the wristband was a creepy thing. There had been discussions.

But today he didn’t have to worry about it, because he couldn’t go in the water anyway.

For a while, he just sat and enjoyed the morning. There was barely any breeze, the ocean was as glass as an open ocean could get, he had nowhere he had to be, nowhere he had to rush. Hell, he was tempted to snooze right there and then.

That thought snapped him out of it. He hadn’t had any decent exercise all week. He was turning into a slob. Now would probably a good time to get started on a little rehab.

He eyed the far end of the beach. A walk couldn’t hurt could it?

Pushing himself carefully out of the chair and catching his footing on the dark volcanic sand, he stepped carefully down into the damp zone and started off at a gentle pace.

He had no plans to go any great distance, just towards the end of the beach. He wouldn’t be out of sight so he wouldn’t be breaking any rules of wandering off without an attendant.

A step or two more and he carefully reached down and removed his sandals.

His feet sunk into the fine dark sand and he closed his eyes for just a moment revelling in the feel of it between his toes. How long had it been since he had stood on a beach? Too busy. Too long.

He let all the breath out of his body and gently inhaled anew.

Wriggling his toes, he grinned to himself and started walking.

-o-o-o-

Gordon was having a great time. Sam and Liam were just good guys to mess around with. They had lent him a spare surfboard and they spent some time chasing the quiet swell. Sam spent most of it under the water, but since that was his native environment, he didn’t appear to care.

Liam had much more skill than Sam on a board and between him and Gordon, a good-natured rivalry began as to who could catch the most waves.

Liam won, but Gordon was laughing anyway and, to be honest, he wasn’t really trying. He was just enjoying the freedom and the lack of responsibility.

John joined them after a decent number of laps and topped all of them even without a board. His red-headed brother knew how to manipulate his body in a low-G environment and bodysurfed like a dolphin.

It left Gordon grinning. Everyone underestimated John...to their detriment. Even Gordon forgot what his big brother was capable of. Space wasn’t just about books and science, there was a definite physical aspect and John worked hard to keep himself healthy.

“John!”

Gordon looked up at the beach to see Scott and Mel standing there, gesturing them in.

Virgil’s deck chair was empty.

Gordon had seen his brother come down with John. Where was he now? A glance up and down the beach found it empty.

What the hell? He didn’t climb back up the hill by himself, did he? Considering Scott was on the beach with that expression on his face probably struck that option off the list.

John, the smart ass, made it to the beach before any of them. That was something that would have to be fixed in the future. Gordon was an Olympic gold medallist and he had a reputation to maintain, after all.

“Where’s Virgil?” Scott was not happy. “He’s not answering his comms.”

“He went for a walk.” John pointed down the beach.

“Well, then where is he?”

John glared at his brother before walking over to the bag he had brought with him and yanking out his own comms. “Eos, location on Virgil, please.”

The AI rattled off coordinates which, when Gordon ran them through the map in his head, equated to...

John pointed down the beach. “He’s that way.”

“Then why can’t we see him?”

“How the hell should I know? Go and ask him.” John matched Scott’s glare with his own. “You do know he is a big boy and can look after himself?”

Scott actually growled at John before spinning and stalking off down the beach.

Oh dear, Virgil was in for it when he got found.

John glared after him a second before turning back to his comms. “Eos, Virgil’s medical status?”

“Last readings all within normal parameters, however, approximately fifteen minutes ago, I believe he took off his shirt, and hence the sensor net in the material. I still have locator and proximity readings, but vitals are patchy. What I do have is within normal tolerances, however I do not have enough readings for that summary to be conclusive.”

John rolled his eyes. “I’m going to kill him.”

“C’mon, John, Virgil needs a break. He only went for a walk on the beach.”

“Tell that to Scott.”

“Scott needs to...” He trailed off at the expression on Mel’s face. “Oh, you didn’t.”

A total lack of innocence appeared on her face. “Didn’t what?”

“Oh, for god’s sake, Mel, really?”

“What?”

Gordon groaned. “It’s the dimples, isn’t it.” It wasn’t a question. “The goddamned dimples.”

Mel shrugged. “He is a great kisser, too.”

Gordon stared at her. “Ergh.” A frown. “I thought you were all about Virgil.”

She shrugged. “He wasn’t all about me. Scott is, uh, nice.” The smile on her face crept up into her eyes.

“Argh.”

“Why, Thunderfish, I didn’t know you cared.” Her grin was devilish.

“Umm...”

But she thwacked him on the arm. “Don’t tie yourself into knots, fishy, I know you’re all moony eyes for the Lady Penelope.”

“What?!”

John snorted beside him and Sam cracked up laughing.

“And don’t you worry your little fins about me and Scott. Was only a little fun.”

“Aaah! I don’t want to hear it.”

Mel laughed at him and drew him into a hug. “You are a laugh, Thunderfish.” She patted his back. “Though I have to say your brother was much happier before he was unable to locate Virgil.”

Gordon snorted. “Scott doesn’t come as a single option. You want the Commander, you’re gonna have to share him with his four brothers. Particularly, Virgil.”

She smirked and put on a seductive smile. “Hmm, all five of you? Really, tease a girl why don’t you.”

He stared at her in shock.

John cracked up laughing and Sam appeared to need resuscitation as he fell all over Liam who was trying to hold both him and himself up at the same time.

“Gee, Fishy, I didn’t know you came in that colour. Did I embarrass you?” Her arm around his shoulders wasn’t helping.

He glared at her. “I didn’t know you had it in you, Mel.”

She snorted. “I have a whole lot in here you don’t know about, Thunderfish.” But she was grinning at him. “Now I have to go keep both your brothers within sight since they have decided to break the rules.”

Gordon stared up the beach and sure enough, there was no sign of them.

A shrug. “You can trust them.”

She reached in and tapping his cheek gently, whispered, “I know, but them the rules.” Her eyes were smiling at him. “He really is a great kisser, you know.”

“You know, Mel. I can live without knowing.”

She giggled. Giggled! He had never heard Mel giggle! And wandered off down the beach after his brother.

John was still grinning like a loon.

Gordon glared at him. “Shut up, John.”

John’s grin just got wider.

-o-o-o-

It was quiet on the beach. After Virgil got far enough away from his brothers and their friends, the natural sounds of the environment took over and Virgil connected with it.

The tension in his shoulders loosened, his back relaxed and he let out a sigh.

The water hissing onto the sand, the breakers cracking the glass ocean as the swell reached the island. Birds, so many birds, many of them the familiar sounds of home telling him how close they were to Tracy Island.

He found himself longing for that familiar environment. Grandma, Kayo, Brains muttering in the background, Gordon splashing in the pool, Alan’s computer games, even Scott on the phone to Tracy Industries. The sounds of home.

But for the moment Raoul had to suffice.

And it was beautiful.

The beach was a decent length, backed by a rise that led off into the mountain that made the island. The fine sand was soft and curled about his toes and plants crawled down the hill to sprawl all over it. Pale morning glory flowers dotted the foliage. The contrast of light flower, green leaf and dark sand was quite striking and Virgil found himself composing a painting as he stopped and stared at the plants.

A thought and he reached into his pocket, grabbed his phone and spent the next few minutes photographing enough stock for a future painting.

Once he decided he had enough, he took a few shots of the incoming waves, the shoreline and the seascape. So much inspiration.

He continued walking and kept his phone in hand just in case. A large seabird flew off the ocean and up the slope and disappeared into the dense forest.

Hell, even the trees were like those on Tracy Island. Brilliant crimson anthers cascaded over evergreen leaves. A tui peered at him from a low branch and screeched at him before flying off.

He let it soak in.

The beach curved inwards slightly and he followed it around only to find the oddest sight.

Steaming hot water was dribbling from the sand bank. A cloud of barely condensed fog rose from it and the dark sand was stained with mineral deposits.

A hot spring! He crouched next to it. He had seen this volcano erupting, grabbed Melissa Fisher and her team off the volatile chunk of rock. Yet here it was quiet, beautiful and full of life, its potential energy little more than a trickle onto sand on a wave sculpted beach.

He reached out a hand and gauged the heat. It was cooling a little as it sputtered onto the shore and he could touch the pool it created. A convenient rock provided a seat and he sat down, letting his feet drop into the warm water.

His shoulders dropped and his eyes closed.

A sudden need to feel the sun on his skin and he threw off his shirt and dumped it, his shoes and his phone in the foliage beside the spring. The warmth from the sun and the hot water, the roar of the breaking surf, he closed his eyes again and just felt.

The eroded volcanic rock under his fingertips was rough, but as equally warmed by the morning sun as his skin.

It just felt so good on everything.

He sat there for some time, just experiencing it. His mood shifted from one of contemplation to one of joy. Everything was in harmony. The ecosystem hummed around him, the planet playing its eternal concert, a thrum that got into his bones.

A thrum.

A wordless thrum, in his bones, in his incisions, in the soles of his feet.

He opened his eyes and stared out at the ocean.

A spray of watery breath broke the surface beyond the breakers.

A moment later it was followed by another, smaller spray.

Virgil stared, and, climbing to his feet, stepped out of the steaming pool and walked towards the breaking surf.

As his feet touched the churning water the hum intensified, vibrating deeper with an unheard melody.

He kept walking until the water was breaking across his thighs, his clothes soaking wet.

The swell dipped between waves and a dark grey and white head emerged out of the water, as if staring at him. A smaller head did the same a moment later before both once again disappeared below the surface.

A joy washed through his body, the sea singing to him like it never had before.

An exhaled breath, his heart in his throat.

“Well, hello.”

-o-o-o-

End Day 4, Part 1

[our-smooty]

Motion in the Ocean

Fandom: Gorillaz

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: 2Doc

Tags: Public Sex, Beach Sex, JAMAICA, Murdoc prioritizing sex over his own physical wellbeing

Summary: Sprained back be damned, 2D looked good enough to eat in his beach outfit. His baggy jean shorts hung low on his skinny hips, accentuated by that stupid red floaty he’d picked up at some point. The dull aching in Murdoc's back had nothing on the burning arousal in his gut. The only problem was they were out in public place, not a private bush or port-a-loo in sight. Murdoc sighed and leaned back in the sand, just barely noticing a splash of dark wood in the corner of his vision. The pier, he could work with that.

Sprained back be damned, 2D looked good enough to eat in his beach outfit. His baggy jean shorts hung low on his skinny hips, accentuated by that stupid red floaty he’d picked up at some point. The dull aching in Murdoc's back had nothing on the burning arousal in his gut. The only problem was they were out in public place, not a private bush or port-a-loo in sight. Murdoc sighed and leaned back in the sand, just barely noticing a splash of dark wood in the corner of his vision. The pier, he could work with that.

“Oi Dullard!” he shouted. At first, when he’d fallen out of the tree 2D had panicked, but now that he realized Murdoc wasn’t close to death (he’d caught the bassist taking a photo of something, so he must have been fine), he was back to spacing out, staring at the ocean. Murdoc’s shout broke him out of his trance with a jolt.

“What? Can’t reach your martini?” he joked. Murdoc rolled his eyes and tried to sit up, failing quite spectacularly until 2D swooped in and helped him. “Oho, be careful old man.”

The bassist shook those helpful hands off with a growl, but only because he felt himself leaning into the warm touch. “Watch yourself there Pretty Boy.”

“Or what, you can’t catch me like that anyway.” Satan the singer had gotten cocky in their time apart. It was a little hot if Murdoc was being honest. He had to get them under that pier.

“Shut up and help me up,” he ordered. Surprisingly 2D obeyed—old habits die hard—and after a few pained noises and unflattering grunts, Murdoc was standing on his own. Mostly. With a little help from Stu. “Now to the water, I wanna swim.”

“You hate swimming,” the singer deadpanned, helping Murdoc take a few shaky steps. To his credit, the bassist went slow and kept the whining to a minimum. “Like, I’ve never even seen you take a shower in your life, Muds.”

“Live a little Dents, we're in Paradise,” Murdoc snapped, dipping a toe into the sea and suppressed a shudder. The water was lukewarm and smiley. It probably smelled and tasted of fish. The things he did for a little arse. He valiantly pushed forward, wading until the water was up to his waist before turning around to look at the singer. “Come on then.”

2D looked conflicted, he’d spent most of the afternoon letting his jorts dry out after a morning swim, but it wasn’t often Murdoc made an effort. So he shrugged and followed along, hoisting the floaty up around his hips to avoid tripping.

“Murdoc, why’re you goin’ so far that way?” Murdoc pretended not to hear him, knowing Stu would be too curious not to follow. He slowly waddled his way over to one of the pier supports and rested against it, one hand on his back. Maybe he tweaked something serious. Not that it mattered now; no the only thing on Murdoc’s mind was the way 2D slunk his way over, the water making his skin oddly greenish.

“Stop your whinin’ and come look at this.” he heard 2D splashing up behind him. Murdoc pushed past the pain and made his way behind the support and out of view of the beach. Finally, they were alone.

“Look at what? There’s nothin’ here! It’s all gross and slimy…” 2D complained. Murdoc tried not to groan as he turned around to face the younger, his back leaning against the support. He could feel his speedo riding up in the back and he was sure the half-drowned look was not sexy, but he really wanted this.

“I thought we could… have a little fun?” he growled, reaching out to snag his thumbs in the singer's belt loops. Stu stumbled forward, his floaty falling a little around his thighs.

‘What! Are you jokin’?” Murdoc smirked and started playing with 2D’s trouser button. He didn’t miss the way the singer’s eyes darted around, or the way his cheeks coloured.

“Yes, Stu. I’m jokin’ and I waded all the way out here with a broken spine and a hard-on jus’ to make fun of you.” 2D looked a little stunned, but he quickly seemed to warm to the idea.

“You couldn’t wait until we got back to the hotel? And what about your back?” He shuffled closer, smiling coyly, his hips pressing against Murdoc’s crotch. “I don’t want you to get hurt or nothin’.”

Murdoc barked a laugh. “Cut the shit and bend over Dents, don’t pretend you aren’t already poppin’ a stiffy at the thought.”

2D pouted a little but started to turn. “Wouldn’t it be easier for me to get you? With your back?”

Murdoc grabbed the lube he’d tucked down the back of his speedo that morning and slicked up a few fingers. “No, because I’ve been thinkin’ about your arse in those tight little shorts all day and I need to be in you.” He dipped a finger between 2D’s cheeks and heard him gasp. “That alright with you, Bluebird?”

“Y-yeah,” the singer stuttered, jutting his hips back so the floaty wouldn’t fall down. “Hurry up, it’s disgusting under here.”

“Quit your whinin’,” Murdoc warned, slipping a finger inside the younger man. “Mmm you’re still stretched from last night.”

"Then get on with it!” Stu moaned as Murdoc edged in two more fingers; he was so ready. They were pretty far from the beach, but the very idea that someone could maybe see them made him tremble.

Meanwhile, Murdoc was beginning to realize he was in a bit of a predicament. His back was definitely too sore for him to give 2D the pounding he really wanted to, but he’d already committed. Crossing his fingers Murdoc hoped for the best as he replaced his fingers with his cock, pulling 2D onto him rather than pushing in. The water splashed around their knees and covered up their groans and pants.

“Oh, oh!” 2D cried, getting the hint and fucking himself on Murdoc’s cock as he leaned on the beam for support. “M-Murdoc it’s s-s-sensitive!”

The bassist grunted, using his hands to spread 2D’s cheeks apart and watch himself disappear inside him again and again. “I-I would imagine so, love. Especially a-after las’ night…”

The red floaty ring was becoming more of a hindrance the faster their pace got. It made an annoying squeaking noise every time Stu moved in just the wrong way. 2D had one hand on it, trying to keep it up, and another braced against Murdoc’s hip. His shorts floated around his knees in the water, threatening to trip him if he moved so much as an inch. Neither of them cared.

“Wanted your arse all day. F-fell out of—fuck!—of that soddin’ tree cause I was starin’ at you,” Murdoc gasped, rocking his hip as much as he could with his back. “S-Satan, I always want you so much.”

“Murdoc~!” 2D mewled at the dirty talk. His was drooling a little, his own prick hard and leaking between his legs. The bassist felt his orgasm coming, dark and all-consuming, and he reached forward to take 2D in hand, stroking him along with the movement of his hips.

“Come on, D. F-fuckin’ come on my cock like a—shit, shit!—g-good little whore,” he moaned, knowing he was right on the edge. 2D yelped as Murdoc pumped him, his hips losing rhythm to roughly fuck himself on Murdoc’s dick.

“Oh oh-oh!” he cried, releasing into Murdoc’s fist and clenching down on the cock inside him. Murdoc didn’t stand a chance, the pressure and feeling of 2D coming around him enough to send him careening over the edge and spurting into the singer. Even though it’d been less than half a day since they'd last fucked, Murdoc felt like he came for hours, his come oozing out of Stu’s hole when he finally pulled out. That idiotic red floaty was still around the singer’s hips.

“Fuck, that was good,” Murdoc sighed, tucking himself back into his speedo. He was nice enough to help the singer with his shorts, the sopping denim clinging to his skin. When he was redressed 2D turned around to look at Murdoc, his face still red and sweaty.

“You’re the worst,” he said breathlessly, leaning in to steal a quick kiss. Because Murdoc was Murdoc, he tried to deepen it, leaning forwards and prodding at the singer’s lips with his tongue. At least, he did until his back twinged something fierce, forcing him to straighten out against the pillar.

“Think I may have really done somethin’ really bad to the old back, Stu-Pot,” he said through clenched teeth. Sex had been a good distraction from the pain, but it had also made it 10x worse. “Might have to call the coast guard.”

2D sighed in exasperation before getting a sly smile on his face. Carefully he stepped out of the tube and placed it over Murdoc’s shoulders, securing it around his waist. “So you can have your Bay Watch moment? No need, we can jus’ float you in.”

If Murdoc had been in less pain he might have flipped his lid, but as it was he didn’t really have any other options other than moving in under the pier. “Fine, but if you so much as make one invalid joke I’ll—”

“You’ll what? Float angrily at me?” Stu helped Murdoc wade out from under the pier, then helped him paddle the floaty to shore. He made sure to occasionally splash water in the bassist’s face “by accident” no fewer than 10 times. Payback for the sore arse, he claimed as they got to shore. Murdoc just growled and let himself be pushed through the water. The singer had no idea what he’d be in store for once his back was healed...

[darkhymns-fic]

Separate

As Lloyd starts on his journey to look for the Cores, he finds it much harder than he anticipated. He's not used to traveling alone, without her voice by his side.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairings: Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel Rating: G Mirror Links: AO3 Notes: It's Colloyd Day!! To celebrate, I wrote a collaborative fic with the wonderful writer, Lil-Samuu, with both of us writing different sides of the same story, hers from Colette's perspective and mine from Lloyd's. This was a fun idea for such a special day! 

For Lil-Samuu's Colette-focused story, please read it here. This is connected to Lloyd's story and works well when read together! @frayed-symphony also drew amazing art for both stories, be sure to check!

---

Lloyd had never been a very good writer.

That simple fact was told to him by Professor Sage whenever she had the chance to. Much of that was complimented by a frown, trying to read over an essay he turned in that very morning while he looked several different shades of guilty. Clearly littered with incomplete sentences, some of them including just the wrong words by nature, it was hard to parse whatever he was trying to say.

Not like he didn’t try, but his characters would get a little sloppy, or merge into one another and make little sense of the sentence he attempted. It wasn’t the same as drawing or making figurines. Those things interested him, feeling like he could create something out of nothing, or just try to mold an idea that he had been holding inside his head. Then it was easier, then it was interesting.

This, writing, just wasn’t interesting to him.

“Gah, why does this stupid stuff matter anyway?” Lloyd had argued, his temper getting the best of him. At 12, he couldn’t control the rawness of his frustration. Though he wouldn’t have much better luck a few years later. “If I want to talk about something, I should just be able to say it! Writing it down takes way longer.”

“There will be times when you can’t just say what’s on your mind at that moment,” his teacher had patiently explained. “It’s good to gather your thoughts and put them down for someone to read later. What if they can’t hear what you to say at that moment? What if it’s easier to say what you want on paper?”

“No way! If I have something to say, I’ll just say it!” Lloyd was proud of his stance on this, hands on his hips, head raised high. Not even his low marks for the day could drag his spirits down.

Until one night, when he had to write a letter for Colette.

Suddenly, he had a chaos of thoughts to say, but no way to say them out loud. And no more bravery to do so.

As he stayed up on the night he would leave her, Lloyd tried to write her a letter, until the picture was clear in his head.

---

Despite the strange warmth in the air, Lloyd had somehow still caught a cold.

“Ah-choo!” Lloyd sneezed a bit loudly. With a sigh, he wrapped his cloak around himself, trudging through the snows before finally seeing the city gates of Flanoir. The spires of its cathedral pierced through the dark night sky, which glittered with so many stars and the brightness of two moons.

“I’d count as many as I could before, when Kratos helped me. But now I can only count a few before my eyes get heavy. But it feels so nice to do so all the same.”

And she would say that with the brightest smile on her face – to be able to sleep again.

Lloyd had barely gotten a full night’s rest since he left Colette.

“Agh, don’t… think on that now. It’s not helping any.” He clamped down on his muttering, trying to keep his lips from getting chapped from the wind. Also, it was kinda weird talking to himself like this? He never used to do it this much, but it had always felt natural before to say whatever was on his mind, knowing someone was with him to hear it. Sometimes he’d listen to how Colette would do the same, pattering off the names of dogs she found, or talking about the shapes she saw up in the cloudy skies, and he’d drink in the sound of her voice.

Each night was quiet and empty without her.

Lloyd finally made it past Flanoir’s entrance, dimly annoyed at himself for landing his Rheiard a bit far off from the city. But it’d be dumb to just get the vehicle out from his wing pack, fly it for like a minute, and then get off again! Even though his walk had been an extra 15 minutes because of it, but Lloyd was stubborn like that.

He kept making dumb little mistakes like this lately. A wrong flight turn at Sybak, then leaving half of his Gald at one town accidentally… and now here at Flanoir…

Lloyd’s satchel that he carried over his shoulder was light; he’d gone through most of his food, sometimes snacking in the middle of the night when he could barely sleep. He kinda wished the blessing of Martel gave him better self-control… or the power to summon infinite food… or something else that was cool.

“The power to summon doggies! All kinds from around the world!”

“Heh, yeah. That would be pretty cool, wouldn’t it? Kinda like my Sorcerer’s Ring that one time!”

Lloyd blinked, stopping in the middle of the street when he realized. Oh, now he was making up conversations between them…

Martel had said her power would protect him from the mental effects of his mission, but he was clearly already losing it! Needing something to do with his hands, he looked through his satchel, trying to remember what he needed. More food definitely, maybe some mittens (he still had a few Penguinist’s Quills), a couple of Gels, but did he even have enough money…? He kept searching, assessing, his hand brushing against something familiar, making him stop.

He held out what he found, the sky feeling heavy, yet the weight in his palm so light. Red-dyed gloves imprinted against the white, the contrast so strong in his eyes still.

He was losing it, or… he just really, intensely missed Colette. He thought knowing that she was safe now would be enough but…

It had been only a week or so since Lloyd had left Colette – not bravely, not with an explanation of any sort even. The air had been familiar in that part of Sylvarant, just near Iselia. Maybe that was why he had chosen to go on that very night. Colette wouldn’t be far from the town; she’d go back to her home, to people that would be there for her, when he couldn’t be. She’d be able to have a normal life to herself again, one that was denied from her; from the world, and even from himself.

He had already involved her in one dangerous mission with him. He couldn’t put her in another. That was what he told himself – what he kept trying to tell himself.

Lloyd did wish he hadn’t left her completely alone though. He had tried sneaking away by himself, but Noishe, who had tagged along with them for most of the journey, soon caught wind of his movements. The only way to stop the dog’s whining was to take him along, at least far enough to Dirk’s home. Maybe Colette would stop by there…

Someone bumped against his shoulder, nearly making him trip. Oh. Yeah, he was still standing in the middle of the street like an idiot. Clearing his throat, he put back the weight he held into his satchel and moved away, the antiquated buildings – yet taller and sturdier than most buildings back in Sylvarant – giving him a nostalgic sense. The snow fell more gently here than outside the city walls, probably because those same walls buffered the wind, leaving more pleasant but still chilly weather.

…Actually, it was a bit warmer here too, even more than he expected. That’s weird… The cloak now felt a bit too suffocating this way. He had to loosen it from his neck, giving himself room to breathe.

Things in the world weren’t right, not completely. From changes in temperature to a certain taste in the air. That was why one night, Lloyd had heard Martel’s voice in his head, telling him what he needed to do. He was supposed to search for the Cores. But, in all honesty, Lloyd had no idea where to begin. He had just… somehow ended up here. In Flanoir.

That had been another mistake. Why did he travel to this place?

---

In the cozy warmth of his room, the metal fireplace insulating him well against the cold from outside, Lloyd had nearly fallen asleep on his feet until he heard a soft knocking on his door.

Usually, Lloyd would conk out like a log once entering an inn room. Just the sight of a bed invited him to just lay down and close his eyes right away. The pleasant heat of the entire inn already had him yawning and stretching, the snows from beyond the building muffling most sounds.

But this time he stayed up. He expected something. There had been so much in his head, the snow gently falling.

She didn’t even have to say anything until she opened the door, her hair so bright –

---

Lloyd found himself at the inn before he knew it.

“Oh,” he said aloud, looking around like a gaping fish. He had just completely blanked out on his walk to here. How’d that happen? He rubbed his scalp, thinking on it a bit too hard.

“Oh! You’re Lloyd Irving, aren’t you?”

Well, that got his attention. Lloyd turned to the front, finding a man around his age, waving to him.

“Yeah! I remember you! You and your friends would stay here all the time like a year back.”

“Uh! Y-yeah, hey!” Lloyd waved at him, walking to the front past some dining tables, his boots making the floorboards creak. He felt so bad not remembering this person’s name… He did recognize the face though. The guy had short cropped black hair, a ready smile on his face. He seemed pretty happy to see Lloyd?

“Are your friends going to come by too?”

“Hm? Oh, no, it’s just me this time around.” Saying that out loud suddenly felt weird, as if the reality of everything had just now sunk in. No, no, he had known that all along. He had just been trying to push it away in the back of his skull, that was all. “For a, uh… a quick visit!”

The man behind the counter continued to smile at him. So, was he the receptionist? The innkeeper? Maybe the cook that just happened to be out here while the real receptionist was on break? Colette would probably remember… At the least, she might have remembered his name. Having gone with Lloyd around the world to name every dog she met, she learned and memorized most people’s names they came across too.

And maybe she would remember this person, especially after her and Lloyd had been rejected by so many inns at so many places.

But she wasn’t here with him.

“I could tell it was you. No one else wears so much red around here!” The guy kept laughing and talking, but it was hard to pay attention. Things didn’t seem right, like Martel had told him. Things just weren’t right.

And it was up to him to fix it.

---

“Those with the blessing of Martel can weather the mental drain of the Cores. So only you can take this mission.”

Yuan had always been blunt and straight to the point. At least at this moment, Lloyd appreciated it. After some rough first impressions, both had started to trust one another. Especially with the presence of Martel binding them.

Still, he had to ask. “Why doesn’t that include Colette though?”

Yuan raised an eyebrow. It was strange not seeing him wear the dark cloak anymore, his clothes more casual, his eyes less hard and bitter. The tree behind him was still a small thing, a sapling with the first hint of greenery, leaves beginning to sprout forth. He couldn’t see Martel, but he could sense her – despite not knowing what exactly she thought of his question.

With Yuan, he could tell right away. “You’re thinking what I just asked was stupid, aren’t you?”

“Never said that.” Yuan frowned. “But why Colette specifically?”

“Because… she was with me when we both went to the tree. When we gave it a name!”

“When you gave it a name,” Yuan reiterated. “Remember?”

Lloyd sighed. “Okay… but we both promised we’d do anything to protect the tree from withering.”

“It was still you that made that promise. And Martel accepted that promise, along with the name you’ve chosen, as proof of the pact.” Yuan sighed. “Or should I go over the way such pact-formations work again?”

“I got it, I got it.” Lloyd held back another sigh. He had left Colette at a Church of Martel, her business with the priests allowing him time to visit this place with the World Tree.  Even though she had been here before, even though she had heard the name he gave… She had asked of him to give it a name…

“Are you just looking for an excuse to not do this?”

“No!” Lloyd said back. “I never said I wouldn’t do it. I’ll find the Cores and keep Ratatosk from awakening them. If only I can.”

“That’s right,” Yuan said, now appearing to be satisfied. “Only you.”

He felt Martel’s own satisfaction as well, but in there, a small tinge of understanding.

Lloyd still wished for a different outcome.

---

“Do you want a room? Hello?”

Again, he had been thinking too hard on things, losing track of everything. If Colette was here, she’d have nudged him for spacing out. Or talked with the innkeeper/receptionist/chef? Lloyd still wasn’t sure…

“S-sorry. Uh, what were you asking?”

“Just wanted to know if you needed a room. We can probably give you a discount after all your stays with us! Like… like 10 percent max though.”

Lloyd thought on it longer, much longer than he meant to. The inn’s rooms were warm, but the place was already so warm, warmer than it needed to be. Any other time, it would make him fall fast asleep, but like before, his mind kept turning over and over.

When Colette opened the door to his room, he had felt those thoughts settle. But, she wouldn’t do that now. Because he left her.

“Um, no. That’s okay. I’ll be leaving already.”

“Oh? Then… why did you come here?”

Lloyd paused just as he was turning away, the words completely lost to him. There was a weight in his chest that was hard to get rid of.

“I’m not sure,” he said out loud, then left through the inn door. He still didn’t learn that guy’s name.

---

When Lloyd had left with Noishe to his dad’s home, part of him had been calm. Something about seeing the two-story house there, the vines climbing up the walls, the sun’s rays slanting over the creek that ran around his house, had been relieving. The dog happy-whined at the sight, already wanting to run towards the home, his large ears flicking with excitement.

Lloyd honestly felt the same. But he stopped himself from just running forward. Moving further out of the forest, he saw Dirk watering the garden, probably having been up since dawn doing all the other chores in the house – including taking care of what had been Lloyd’s own chores.

He could barely hold back anymore, so with a shout, he called out to him. “Hey! Dad!”

The dwarf perked his head up, his beard somehow even bushier than before. Noishe had rushed past Lloyd, ambling up to Dirk to get promptly petted on his furry head. “Lloyd! Haven’t seen ya in a while. Still holding up?”

“Yeah!” Lloyd answered a bit quickly, waiting for his dad to make the connection. The space around him was too prominent, the lack of a voice too clear.

“I don’t see Colette with you today. Is she back in Iselia?”

Lying is the first step down the path of thievery. And even though Lloyd had definitely lied before, that vow felt so much more vital at this moment. She probably was in Iselia at this moment, maybe even looking for him…

“Someone needs my help,” Lloyd said, a little rushed, but still convinced he had to go through with it. “I can’t have Colette involved in it. So… we need to be separate from now on.”

He inwardly winced, seeing the gears in his father’s head work, assessing the truth of his words. That was one other reason why he didn’t lie often. His dad could always tell when he did anyway.

“How long will you be gone then?” Dirk finally asked, stopping his petting of Noishe to cross his thick arms over his chest.

“I’m not sure. It might be a while. I… really don’t have any idea.”

“Have you told Colette any of this?”

A pause. “I did.” This one wasn’t a lie still, but he held back. He had a feeling Dirk wouldn’t approve of the way he told Colette.

But sometimes things couldn’t be said right away at that moment. Sometimes one needed to wait and gather one’s thoughts, suddenly all so mixed up. And sometimes, it was easier.

Dirk continued to visibly ponder over Lloyd’s words, the sun still shining brightly, despite a small chill in the air. The weather had been strange lately, like the hint of snow back in Triet. Lloyd didn’t have much time to pause and wander around anymore. But still, he had to come here, he had to have some closure in something.

His father looked him straight in the eyes. It didn’t matter that he was a few feet shorter – Lloyd always felt smaller in his presence no matter what.

“You’re doing what you believe is right and true, are you?”

“Yeah!” This he knew for sure, even though the pain of leaving Colette was still fresh. “Of course!”

“And you won’t go making trouble for people out there?”

“No way! I swear!”

Then, that bushy beard revealed a white, shining grin. “Then what are ya waiting for? Get to completing your tasks so you and Colette can travel together again.”

Lloyd blinked, feeling out of sorts almost. “You’re not mad?”

“Lloyd, you’ve done nothing to make me angry. I trust you. Just as I know that Colette trusts you too. Just promise you’ll be careful.”

“Right! I will!” Back then, his burdens felt lifted, at least for a moment. Still, he had one thing to ask. “Hey, Dad? If, um, Colette comes by…”

He paused, wondering if he had a right to say this. He had given her a letter, but was that enough?

“Go on, Lloyd,” Dirk said, his voice gentler.

“Can you tell her…?”

---

Maybe camping out in the snows was his way of punishing himself.

But still, the outside was not nearly as cold as it should have been. Either way, Lloyd wore his cloak, and if he buried his hands underneath the snows, they’d go numb with the chill regardless. He made the campfire by rote, soon finding the flames eat up the kindling, already melting the snow underneath it. Snowflakes still drizzled down, if not as fiercely as they once did a year ago.

“Could we still make snowmen like this? Or do you think it would melt too fast?”

“We could try! Just gotta speed through it! Whoever makes the fastest snowman wins!”

“Oh! What do I win then?”

“Hey, why are you assuming you’d win already?”

Lloyd sat against a big snowdrift, half burying himself in it. Here he was, making up conversations again. What would his dad think of him now though? He no longer felt as confident as he should have been.

In his satchel, there was little food and money. He had forgotten to stock up, already leaving Flanoir before even staying there for more than an hour. It hadn’t felt right, being there without her. Traveling all this time with her, and then suddenly an emptiness around him.

His hand had brushed against the snowbunny she had given him earlier in the city, its shape fitting into his palm. It was the one thing he made sure to never forget to leave behind.

“And I get to stay by your side, right?”

Lloyd shut his eyes, overwhelmed by the memory, the guilt, the need to have her seated beside him. And then he was overwhelmed by the reality that she would not be with him for so long.

“I’m sorry,” he said out loud to the fire, seeing the way it flickered in the darkness. The fire seemed to cast long shadows, longer than they should.

Lloyd raised his head. The clouds finally cleared, giving him a clear view of the stars.

There were so many new ones ever since the worlds reunited. People of both worlds now shared the same sky, the same stars, and the same moons. Sometimes he wondered, back when Tethe’alla was separate, how different the sky must have looked compared to Sylvarant’s. Or maybe it was still so similar. But with them meshed together like this, that distinction no longer mattered. Everything was now under one sky.

Colette was under this sky too. She seemed to like counting the stars with him.

There was one particularly bright star. It flickered like a candle in the pitch-black expanse above him. Looking up at that star made his head feel a little clearer. The tension in his neck seemed to dissipate.

Under this same sky, maybe Colette was watching this star too? Thinking that, at least a little bit.

The air was warmer than it should have been, but still Lloyd wrapped his cloak around himself, the empty space around him much too wide, much too cold. He’d do better tomorrow, figure out what he needed to do, where he needed to go, to finish his mission and get back to Colette.

It was just hard to get used to.

“I’ll come back, okay?” he said out loud, watching that same bright star. No one would hear him, not for a long while. But someday, she would.

It was nice though, looking up at the sky, at that star…

---

Dear Colette,

By the time you read this, I’ll have already left on my own journey. Sounds familiar, right?

I think I understand why you wrote me that letter back then. It’s not easy to do this. You look really happy when you’re sleeping, and I don’t want to ruin that with this. Or maybe I’m too worried to do that anyway.

This will be familiar too… I care about you too deeply to get you involved. Sorry, I’m just stealing your words at this point. I’m not good at this!

Even though… I wish you could be involved? But I can’t ask that of you. I can’t ask that of anyone.

But I can promise you though that I’ll come back! I want to protect this world, this world with Colette in it. And I want to keep staying by your side, too.

But for now, I can’t.

I’m sorry.

I was happy traveling with you all this time. Just with you. And I wanted to keep that going.

I’m sorry for leaving, and for telling it you this way. I hope you can forgive me.

But I’ll always  I really feel like I I’ll miss you, Colette.

I’ll come back.

-Lloyd

[drivingsideways]

for the fandom meme questions, if you're still taking them: F, G, W, and Y. (you don't have to do all of them, just whichever ones you wanna answer)

I answered most of those here, so gonna do the remaining one

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

OH NO WHERE TO START HOW TO PICK THIS IS TERRIBLE 

I am such a multi-shipper at heart, i ship everyone/everything so picking a few is AGONIZING. 

under the cut ‘cause uh, i got carried away. No particular order of fave, and mostly restricted to ships from the last few years

Miranda Barlow/James Flint/Thomas Hamilton (Black Sails) - OT3 of PAIN omg, the fact that they barely had a chance to be together, and so much of their story  as a trio is basically one or the other NOT BEING THERE AND THE REMAINING TWO BEING DEVASTATED AND WANDERING AROUND THE WORLD LOST WITHOUT THEIR MISSING THIRD. UGHHHH. I yell a lot about James/Miranda here but internally I yell a lot about Thomas/Miranda pre and post James and James/Thomas without Miranda and basically every time I see their faces I’m *crying *, and honestly, my only kink for them is to literally be in the same room and the same time, like, my needs here are very basic. 

Dean/Castiel (SPN): I know, I know. Everybody and their grandmom ships these two, AS THEY SHOULD. I gave up on the show a long time ago, but every now and then a gifset crosses my dash and I’M UNDONE BY THEIR FACES WHEN THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER WHEN THE OTHER IS NOT WATCHING (THERE’S A REASON SEASON 6 IS WHEN I REALLY STARTED SHIPPING THEM) AND I’M LIKE IT’S BEEN 15 YEARS AND SEVERAL RESURRECTIONS PLEASE KISS NOW. Hmm, kinks for this ship- lbr, fandom has written Every Possible Kink for this ship, and I’m happy to roll with most of it, but anything with true-form/eldritch horror Cas and a very human, very mortal Dean is probably THE BEST. Well, that and OMG ARE THEY HOLDING HANDS OMG OMG OMG (I can’t help it, I’m a marshmallow)

Superbat (DCEU) : I’ll be honest, I didn’t give a fuck about Batman until Ben Affleck ran onto the screen with with his fucking three piece suits and Emotional Trauma and Weird Psychosexual Dreams and I couldn’t believe the pit of shame I’d let myself fall into, but BvS was Something (yes, amidst a whole lot of Objectively Bad Somethings, yes I’m looking at you Jesse Eisenberg) anyways, i closed the tab where the movie had been playing, opened another tab for AO3 and fell straight into one of @susiecarter‘s fics, specifically THIS AMAZING FAKE DATING POST BvS ONE and it was basically over for me. This subset of Superbat fandom has some amazing writers and artists so honestly it wasn’t really even my fault, i just wallowed in all the hard work being done by someone else. PINING! CONTROL ISSUES! Emotionally Traumatized Man with a Death Wish meets literal Ray of Sunshine who can ALSO actually kill him with his little finger and has FEELINGS HE CAN”T IDENTIFY MUCH LESS TALK ABOUT. I love pining (is that a kink?) and like this is the otp where one half is/was literally dead while the other is dead inside AND IT WAS ALL TOO MUCH FOR ME. I REGRET NOTHING. Seriously, this version of an older, weary Batman meeting a young(ish) Superman who’s still trying to figure out how to be Superman, with both of them having control issues while being absolute rubbish at communication is perfect for a lot of d/s stuff but like my bulletproof kink in this ship is probably them...talking about their feelings? YEAH.

Joan/Sherlock (Elementary) : OH NO MY SUPER HAPPY CANON PLATONIC SOULMATES THEY ARE EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED AND NEVER IMAGINED I’D GET TO SEE ON AN ACTUAL SHOW AND THEY’RE SUPER GREAT AND I LOVE HOW THEY ARE LIKE RIDE OR DIE FOR EACH OTHER AND THE WAY SHERLOCK ADORES HER AND THE WAY SHE’LL LOOK OUT FOR HIM AND TELL HIM COLD HARD TRUTHS BUT ALWAYS WITH KINDNESS WHY ARE THEY SO PERFECT WHY IS THIS SHOW ENDING AND HOLY HELL UNDYING KINK IS SHERLOCK SAYING ‘I’D MAKE ADJUSTMENTS FOR YOU’ AND JOAN’S FACE WHEN HE SAYS THAT THIS SHOW HAD BETTER END WITH JOAN ADOPTING A BABY AND LIVING IN THEIR BROWNSTONE WITH CLYDE AND THEIR BEES AND DOING DETECTIVE THINGS

*deep breath *

and current fave

Ning Yi/ Xin Zi Yan (The Rise of Phoenixes) : Ok, look, I basically ship Ning Yi/everyone and mostly Ning Yi/ happiness, homicidal woobie that he is, BUT the show just like WENT THERE with these two. Xin Zi Yan is Ning Yi’s mentor/friend/ally in the fight for his life within his batshit insane royal family and he is a cold, ruthless fuck who can hold grudges FOREVER and they flirt with each other (the show is particularly unsubtle about the flirting) and lie to each other and protect each other and STICK THE KNIFE INTO EACH OTHER AT THE SOFTEST POINTS BECAUSE THEY KNOW HOW TO. Like their fights are EPIC, blood on the floor everywhere and I’m like YES YES but also NOW FUCK. Like, canon just gave me this intense, competitive, kinda unhealthy dynamic and I’m like they’d be so bad for each other, BECAUSE LOL WHAT ARE BOUNDARIES XIN ZI YAN YOU CONTROL FREAK AND  NING YI YOU ARE ONE ABYSS OF NEED THAT YOU TRY TO HIDE BEHIND YOUR NONCHALANCE AND MURDER BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE FOREVER OMG I LOVE THEM A LOT LET ME WRITE 100K ABOUT THEM BEING THE ABSOLUTE WORST FOR EACH OTHER AND THE WORLD, SO I DID. Did someone say rarepair hell? I’m literally writing the only fic there is for them that’s how much i love them (its such a rarepair that the tag isn’t even searchable on AO3 yet). Uh, as for kinks for these two I CAN’T BECAUSE I’M NOT READY FOR THE MORTIFICATION OF BEING KNOWN. 

[likes-words-and-shrimp]

How These Feelings Fall Into Place

Lloyd and Sheena spend time together at an annual festival held in Mizuho. The next day, Lloyd would leave again. That was okay, wasn't it?

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairing: Lloyd Irving/Sheena Fujibuyashi Rating: G Mirror Links: AO3 Notes: Written for @theguineapig3​ for @talesofsecretsanta2018​ !! I wanted to try to write a good gift that would at least come halfway to the gift you made for me last year! It is still one of my most favorite things! I hope this little story turns out okay. Happy Holidays!

“Just put the set over here!” Sheena called out, and the men nodded. Crates of the dumplings were placed by the stall nearer the entrance. Mizuho was brighter than it usually was at night, when most of the villagers either retreated to their homes, or were away on missions in other, more livelier places. But the yearly festival transformed the secretive village into a place decorated with paper lanterns, bonfires for the mass amounts of food ready to be cooked, and several stalls that marketed even more food and games.

It was known as the Mystical Village for a reason!

“Chief Sheena!” spoke another man, still dressed in his garb from his latest mission, appearing suddenly from nothing. His dark clothes made him blend with the rest of the night. “I have ordered the balloons from Meltokio, as you asked! They should be arriving at any moment.”

Sheena nodded with satisfaction. “Good work, Orochi! We’ll make this our best festival yet!”

She was still a bit new to this Chief business, but with the World Reunification duties, the constant trips to Meltokio to ensure that things kept running smoothly, and just overseeing day-to-day life in the village, Sheena had her hands full, learning all she could from Tiga. But festivals! She had loved those especially, and helping organize one had felt more like play than business.

“Anything else need to be done? I saw Chiyo’s wrists had been hurting so…” She cracked her knuckles, feeling invigorated – “I can help out with her taiyaki making!”

Orochi though had this look. A look that meant that he had more news to share. “Actually, we just got word from one of our scouts near Sybak. It seems that one of your friends will be arriving soon for the festival.”

Sheena blinked. Who had she told about this festival? Not many, since everyone had to do their own things after the world was reunited. Regal had his company to overlook, Raine and Genis were still traveling together, and Colette had mentioned something about taking care of dogs, which had been hard to understand as she had spoken about it so excitedly last time… She inwardly groaned, remembering that Zelos knew for sure, and probably wanted to butt his nose into it like usual. It was bad enough he hit on the women here during the day! “Ugh, so it’s that idiot again?”

At that, Orochi raised an eyebrow. “While I understand Lloyd may be a bit slow at times, I think idiocy is a bit-”

“Wait, Lloyd?” she shouted, then lowered her voice. “He – I don’t – I don’t think he’s an idiot! J-just-! He’s coming here?”

“That’s what the reports said.”

She wasn’t prepared at all for this.

“Hi, Sheena! Wow, this place looks so bright! What are those paper-looking thingies?”

Sheena swallowed, ecstatic to see the young man standing before her. Here! During one of her favorite times in Mizuho! Although it was hard to get her tongue to work, suddenly feeling it too big for her mouth. Was it swollen? Did she eat something that made her allergic? Oh no, Lloyd was staring at her so much. Maybe her injury from the last mission was still on her face-

“Hey, uh, Sheena? You’re kinda blanking out.”

“Y-yes! Yeah! Haha…” She shook her head, gathering herself. She put on ‘Chief-mode Sheena’ in her place, pretending she was talking to one of her subordinates. Who was wearing blindingly bright red. That would never work for any ninja or for any kind of stealth mission and why the heck was she thinking the logistics of this?

“It’s good to see you. And those are paper lanterns!” She gestured to the decorations that lined the top of the village, giving everything a soft flow. “Secret craft of Mizuho. Don’t tell anyone!”

“Oh yeah! No problem. The secret’s safe with me!”

It was really not at all a secret – people from all over Tethe’alla tried to copy the same design, but Lloyd looked so genuine about it that Sheena couldn’t help but smile. She had missed him, more than she had thought. She had to grin back at him.

“How did you find out about this anyway?”

“Oh, Zelos told me. I’m trying to find this Exsphere caravan and we ran into each other… He said he couldn’t go because he was busy. And, well.” He grinned even wider at Sheena. “A festival sounded fun! I haven’t seen you in a long while anyway.”

It really had. Lloyd was off on his Exsphere journey, and she could only imagine how tough it was by himself. Sometimes she had thought…

Nah, it was stupid. She had a village to run anyway. People needed her. Lloyd wouldn’t want someone like her along anyway.

“Well, you came at the best time! Bet you haven’t tried kingyo-sukui before, have you?” She waved Lloyd over to the nearest stall. “It’s more of a kid’s game, but it’s tougher than it looks!”

“Kin ga what?” Lloyd blinked, but followed her along with complete trust. “How do you win at it?”

“Sorry. It’s goldfish scooping! Here, I’ll show you!”

Lloyd was already very eager to try, and the moment Sheena had the paper scoop in hand, Lloyd was already grabbing his own. He had gone through ten of them by the time he finally got one in his bowl, breaking each of them completely. But he had been as wide-eyed and excited as the numerous little kids at the stall. Sheena also made sure that Lloyd didn’t have to keep paying for each scoop he broke… he probably would have lost half his gald by this point. Just helping him save that made Sheena feel happy.

“Cool! I get to keep him?” Lloyd held up the clear bag with his tiny goldfish to his face. The way it warped his eye and mouth, while the goldfish swam through the water, made Sheena laugh loudly. Lloyd noticed and stuck out his tongue, making it even more silly.

“S-stop! And yes, you can keep him! Although bringing him on your journey might be hard.”

“Oh, right.” Lloyd considered, then handed the bag to Sheena proudly. “Maybe you can take him for me? Or is that too much? You probably got a bunch of goldfish already!”

Sheena had none at all – the game was meant for kids and a Chief should just be doing Chief things! Although, seeing Lloyd offer it to her, she took the bag gladly. It felt like a gift, in a way. “Well, I guess I can make some room for him. But you have to remember to visit him often!”

She didn’t actually expect Lloyd to agree to that. He was on an important journey after all, set on completing it. But he nodded anyway. “Yeah, of course!” Then his stomach growled. “Uh.”

Sheena snickered. “Okay, let’s get some food in you first.” She would have to leave Lloyd to put away the goldfish, and she didn’t want to just yet. It would be safe in its temporary home for now anyway. “Ever had yakitori? You’ll like that one, I bet.”

And, of course, Lloyd ate whatever was handed to him, probably stuffing down more than what some stall owners were expecting. She caught a few eyes gazing at her, silently pleading with her to not let this strange boy in red drain out their stock. But she could let it slide for now, make up for it later. Lloyd had probably been tired from his journey and deserved what he could get!

By the end of the feast, they were seated by the moat that circled around the Chief’s home – or her home to be exact. Still holding the goldfish bag in one hand, and a cup of sake in the other, she then handed that one to Lloyd – being careful not to mix up the two. That would have been embarrassing… “Here. Best way to wash all that food down!”

“Hey, what’s this?” Lloyd took, seated cross-legged on the ground. On the water, small papers folded like sailboats glided on the water. Both children and adults were setting them there, all while Sheena had briefly explained the tradition; to wish good fortune for the coming year. She wanted to help him make one – she knew he could do it pretty well with his artistic talents, but, maybe that was a step too far. Couples usually did that together, and well, that’s not what they were anyway.

She shook away that thought, and smiled. “It’s sake! You’ll like the stuff.” After all, his dad was a dwarf! And dwarves made their own alcohol called mead, which from what she gathered, was usually much stronger. Sake should be easy for Lloyd. “And if you don’t, I’m clobbering ya,” she said jokingly, clenching her free hand.

Lloyd laughed at that. “Okay, okay! I’ll try this… sah-kay? This cup’s kinda small though and I’m really thirsty!”

He was about to take a sip, but then stopped himself. Ah, maybe he wasn’t actually into it?

“Hey, Sheena,” he said, turning to her again. “This was really fun. I’m glad I got to come by! You’re always really busy so I figured maybe this time…”

“You’re welcome here whenever, Lloyd! I’m, um, not always that busy!” She was sort of half-lying but not like Lloyd could notice. She nudged his arm. “Hurry and drink up. No need to get sappy at me!”

Even though she did like that, quite a lot.

“Yeah, just the last month’s been kinda tough and-” Lloyd shook his head. “Anyway! Thanks!” By then, he had already begun to sip.

She thought on what he said for a moment, but Lloyd probably hadn’t meant to get too serious, so she went past it. “I can get some more. There’s a few different types actually if you wanted-”

Then Lloyd fell flat on his face.

“Wh-” Sheena blinked. Then again. And then just stared. Oh. Oh what. Oh, he wasn’t moving. “L-Lloyd!”

Then his body started to nearly roll off straight into the water.

“No! Stop it!” she yelled as if yelling ever did anything for her. Grabbing Lloyd by the shoulders while still holding onto the goldfish, she lifted him up easily. Okay, he was still breathing, but also not really responding to anything. His eyes were shut, and his face was a bit red. Oh no, what if it was something he ate? Was he poisoned? Who would do that here?

If only she hadn’t been slacking off as Chief, she could have prevented this.

Ignoring some of the surprised looks from nearby villagers, she called out to Orochi. He always re-appeared at her side when she needed him. “Here, help me get him inside. Get the medicines out. We need to find an antidote quick!”

“Sheena.” Orochi looked to the boy curiously, though didn’t stall, already grabbing his other shoulder.

“Come on, we need to hurry!” She was trying her best to not lose her cool as they opened the sliding door to her room, but she couldn’t bear to lose Lloyd. Not after everything. She’d inspect every food barrel they had here and find the source. Maybe it was sabotage – there had been mutterings of people who hated Tethe’alla and were forming a group. Maybe they saw Lloyd had been coming here in advance? She needed to gather all her sources for this.

“Sheena,” again, Orochi said, laying Lloyd on a cot.

“Get the local healer. I know it’s usually her time off but I really need her salves for this. And tell Sakuya to travel to Meltokio so we can see whose been on the roads-”

“Sheena.” Orochi said hard, his hands still, his entire body still.

She looked to him in confusion. “What is it? Why are you wasting time?”

“Sheena, he’s just drunk.”

She paused then, and in that pause, she saw Lloyd stir and start to mumble.

“Hafta… see the doggies… ofer ther..”

Oh. He was drunk. But… he had barely taken a sip? Was he that much of a lightweight?

“I’ll go outside and tell those who saw it’s no trouble. He will need water.” Orochi stood up, making the signal for leaving. Though before he did so, he smiled. “He probably needs someone nearby as well.” Then he vanished in a puff of smoke.

Oh no, she was so stupid.

Sheena tried to not think about that so much, finally remembering the goldfish in hand, and getting a nearby bowl to put it in. She had some flakes to give it, but later. Because right now, Lloyd was trying to sit up, and also get up, and also tried to stumble into her door where the paper covering would definitely not hold his weight.

“Sit back down already!” She pulled him near, hands gripping his arms. His body went limp in her touch, leaning against her, his head tilted. He was smiling still.

“Thers a lotta doggies here.. like.. here..?” He pointed at the corner, where a painting of well, a wolf was set in the background of her room.

“Yes, Lloyd. That’s a doggy..” She rubbed his arms, maybe lingering too much. “Go and sleep.”

“Ish a lot! An alsho scary snake?” He pointed above at a divider, its surface painted over with a dragon. “Shnakes are… bad..”

“Okay, yeah, I got it.” It was.. kinda cute how he kept rambling. But she felt weird for still holding him like this. So she tried to get him laying down again.

“And Sheena is!” Lloyd proclaimed and not following up for a while. Like he was thinking on it. This pulled at her patience a little. She was what? Just spill it!

“You need to sleep now.” She then forced him down, hands on his shoulders, half over him. She got a better look at his face, his eyes soft, his hair a little messy from his sudden falling. He was still smiling a lot too. Oh, she was way too close to him. Don’t do this when he was drunk! Don’t do it at all!

“Sheena is… good..” He muttered, half-closing his eyes. “Miss..”

She lifted away slightly, kneeling beside him. She moved a loose hair strand around her ear. “Um, I missed you too,” she said softly, feeling stupid. Was that what he meant?

“Really like her..” Lloyd shifted to his side, to get comfortable. Or maybe to see her better? No, that was also really stupid. “Really.. huh..”

His voice was slowing more, which worried her. He was just drunk, but still.. “Hey, you okay?” She held out a hand to him, then stopped. Too far. Don’t do that.

But Lloyd reached out to it. His Exsphere winked in the light. He brought her hand close to him, just near his face.

Sheena’s face was heated to an extreme.

“Like… I like.. Sheena…” Then he fell asleep, still holding her hand. He held it so tightly, too.

She could still easily leave his grip. Just a quick bend of her wrist and she would be free. But she felt his even breathing near her knuckles. He shifted even closer to her.

She had placed his goldfish in the bowl on a nearby dresser, swimming calmly through its small home. She wasn’t as contained as it was. She could leave at any time.

“I like you, too,” she whispered.

Sheena stayed by Lloyd’s side, watching him sleep.

By morning, she was frustrated.

Some of the paper lanterns had broken, their shells caught on the roofs of nearby homes, and the small boats still lagged in the water, filling it up with trash. It would be a pain to clean up. That and half the stalls had not been taken down yet. There were supposed to be gone by late midnight yesterday!

Also, once Lloyd woke up, he hadn’t mentioned anything about what he said last night.

“Ow… why does my head hurt so much? That was really weird water you gave me…” He was rubbing it as he walked through Mizuho with Sheena one last time. Then he would be gone, for who knows how long. “How come I want to drink it again though?”

“I don’t think you should,” she said, voice hard.

Lloyd blinked at her tone. She saw hurt flash through his face, soon covered up by confusion. “Uh, okay. Well, you gave it to me!”

“Believe me, I know.”

She didn’t mean to have this grumpy attitude, but what was she supposed to do now? If Lloyd had felt that way about her… if he even actually meant what he said!

He probably hadn’t meant it at all. Lloyd sometimes just… said things, didn’t he?

He was patting his jacket, looking for something. “Agh, did I lose my wing pack? I didn’t drop it in the river or something…”

Waiting around was so stupid. Didn’t Zelos say to just go ahead and say what you want? Apparently Lloyd did! But only when he was drunk!

He noticed her frown, because she was definitely frowning. A lot. “Sheena, did I say something wrong?” He blinked. “Or.. be stupid? I didn’t mean to eat that much stuff yesterday! Just, you know..”

Agh, why did she have to point this out?

“I like you too, Lloyd!” she shouted. They were just outside the village. There were probably eyes watching them. They always were. That’s what living in Mizuho was like. She was used to it. But the only eyes that mattered were Lloyd’s.

He stared at her. “I-”

“So don’t just go spouting out you like me too for no real reason! Was that supposed to be funny?” But it was her fault. She made him drink the dumb stuff. “I’m an idiot.”

“Sheena?”

“Never mind. Just… have a safe trip.” Ugh, she couldn’t even confess right. What was she doing?

A pair of arms encircled her suddenly. She stiffened, ready to break out. Only Zelos did this, and he did it to be annoying and invasive. But the scent was different.

“I.. don’t remember when I said that. I wish I did.” A pause. “I like you though. Um. That’s why I came here, you know.”

Oh, she was really stupid.

“Er, did you hear me?”

She shook her head, then nodded her head. Ah, what was the right answer?! Maybe she should hug back? Okay, maybe. So she did.

She leaned into his touch, like before, when he was holding her hand tight.

Then she decided to kiss him. Wait, that was too far!

“Mmf?!” Lloyd’s voice was muffled, not exactly expecting the sudden and fierce kiss she gave him. She stepped back immediately, putting her face in her hands.

“Agh, why am I so bad at this?”

“Huh? T-that wasn’t bad! That was really nice, actually!” He laughed a little. “I mean, I’ve not done that before so…”

She didn’t want to look at him. She needed to find another pit to fall in.

“Is it okay if we try it again maybe?”

Oh wow, she definitely needed to find a pit fast. She couldn’t do that again! No way!

But Lloyd was there, holding her face in his hands, looking nervous also. He leaned in, kissing her lightly. It was nice, nicer than she thought. She melted into it quickly.

She stepped back again and (kinda) lightly punched him in the shoulder.

“Ow!” Lloyd rubbed the affected shoulder. “That hurt a little!”

“W-well, maybe do that kind of stuff sooner!” Sheena took a deep breath, turning away for a moment. “But… thanks.”

Anyone else would have probably complained even more – even Zelos – at her reaction. But Lloyd just laughed. Not at her either. It was nice and innocent, with no bitterness to it, like she would expect from others. But Lloyd was not like other people at all.

“You’re welcome, I guess.” Then, very lightly, hands placed themselves on her shoulders. She leaned back against him, wanting to be selfish. “I’m glad I got to see you again. Really.”

“Yeah, I know.” She could feel how red her face was, and not from any drinks. “M-me, too… Do you have to go now?”

Sometimes she could feel Lloyd think about things, imagining his expression. Only this time, his face was near hers, his breath blowing against her hair that gave her shivers she felt a little guilty thinking on. “Hm, I guess not right now... I still have time. But it’s been hard doing stuff on my own lately, you know…”

She thought back to the impulsive gift Lloyd had given her, the goldfish still swimming in its bowl, needing to be where it was. She felt the same sometimes.

But… Orochi had been doing such good work lately. Maybe he could take over, for a little bit.

“I’ll see what I can do,” she told him, before turning around to give him a hug.

As a Chief of Mizuho, she needed to help people. And those people didn’t have to be from Mizuho itself…

[canonverse-yoi-fics]

Hi yoi fics! I was searching for Yuri!!!On Ice fanfics to read when I crossed your path. And it's even. There is everything. Thanks so much for storing these! May I ask what you're all time favorite is? (I know, it's hard) 😂😂😂

First. I love your blog. Had a mini heart attack when I saw your ask.

Also, that’s too hard! Can I make like… Favorite 10 fics? I will do that, because I will not choose a favorite. Also, they’re all different in gerne, so my fave would also depend on my mood. Anyway, in alphabetical order, here’s my 10 favorite yoi fics!

A Hundred Flowers In Bloom by Chiharu | M | Leo/Guang-Hong, Yuuri/Victor | 9k

The 2022 Beijing Olympics open on the fourth day of Chinese New Years with twelve lines of lion dancers forming into a dragon.

This year, Guanghong only has three resolutions: to not drop the flag on international television, to win Olympic gold for China, and to fall out of love with Leo.

-I’m a really big figure skating fan (hence why I watched yoi), and when the Olympics came around I started reading a lot of fics set in the Olympics and this one really touched my heart. Especially since fics with “minor” ships tend to be short one-shots and this one just really did it for me. Like wow, I mostly just stick to Viktuuri fics, but LeoJi is a weakness.-

a little room to breathe by qynntessence | T | Yuuri/Victor | 9k WIP

Viktor blows his nose wetly and blushes, turning away from Yuuri’s kind eyes. “Can-Can I have another tissue?” He blows his nose again, a thick, congested sound, which turns into thick, congested sneezing. “I’m sorry, I know it can’t be much fun to take care of your sick fiancé when you have a cold. Asthma sucks.”

In which Yuuri has a cold (and also anxiety), Viktor has the flu (and also asthma), and they’re messy and in love and try their best.

-Everyone loves a good sick!fic, me included, and this is my fave sick!fic. And I have resigned myself to it never being completed T.T, but even just the two chapters that are up have been enough to fulfill my needs. Please give the writer some love so that they may get inspiration to finish it!!-

A Voice in the Distance by torikabori | T | Yuuri/Victor | 17k WIP

In which a soulmate connection has three parts: a shared heartbeat, some secondhand emotions, and a sense of when your soulmate is looking at you.

Each has its inconveniences– especially when one half of the pair is famous, the other has anxiety, and they’re born several timezones apart.

-So, I don’t really do AUs, but a good soulmate AU can never do me wrong, and this one. Oh boy. It’s definitely my favorite (soulmate) AU. It fits amazingly with the canon universe, and the very concept of it is so amazingly thought out and well-written. Ugh. It’s so good.-

Before It Burns Me Numb by ilarual | G | Yuuri/Victor | 16k WIP

“What do you mean, you had a crush on me?” Yuuri asks. “We’d never even met before the Grand Prix Final last year.”

Following their engagement, Victor tells Yuuri the story of how he met, fell for, and pined after Japan’s Ace. Not necessarily in that order.

An Ep10 coda… with a twist.

-I’m a big fan of Viktor being a fan of Yuuri pre-series, and this fic is just very cute about it, and also gives a good insight into Viktor’s life pre-series :D-

i’m just going to the store by bosbie | T | Yuuri/Victor | 7k

Accidental masked vigilante Victor Nikiforov.

Or: how Victor’s impulsiveness backfires and creates one of the greatest living internet memes to ever come out of Russia.

-oh man, where do I even begin with this one. It’s so absolutely ridiculous that if I ever find myself in a bad mood, this fic is sure to cheer me up because it is hilarious.-

katsuki_fc wrote by tetsurashian | G | Yuuri/Victor | 12k

Just because Yuuri isn’t big on social media, doesn’t mean his fans aren’t.

-Social Media fics in YoI is one of my all-time weaknesses. I adore the fan-based aspect of it, as well as it sometimes being a clever way to call out haters. It’s also incredibly immersive and it’s a great way to get into the yoi -verse yourself. This is probably the one YoI fic I’ve read the most, and I have no shame about that.-

Tantalus, Reaching by chellethewriter | T | Yuuri/Victor | 17k

When Viktor Nikiforov arrives in Hasetsu, he expects the Katsuki Yuuri from the banquet – the shameless, sensual dancer who made Viktor feel alive for the first time in years. Instead, he finds a different Katsuki Yuuri – a boy who lacks confidence and flinches at Viktor’s touch.In Viktor’s determination to reconcile these contrastive personalities, he realizes two things: one, that first impressions are not everything, and two, that he may or may not be in love with every side of Yuuri.

(In other words, a retelling of the series that chronicles how a five-time Grand Prix champion might attempt to woo a somewhat oblivious Japanese figure skater.)

-Another weakness of mine: YoI told from Viktor’s perspective. And this one. Oh my. It has everything. Viktor pining. Yuuri being the absolute worst pov character and also an oblivious heart-breaker. Viktor pining. It’s just really good.-

The Bulge (Don’t Bring a Weapon to a Public Beach) by nagoyadelay | M | Yuuri/Victor | 2k

Victor posts a photo of Yuuri on instagram without realizing that it’s somewhat suggestive.

A thirsty skating fandom collectively loses their shit.

-Humor is my go-to genre in the yoi fandom for reasons I myself don’t quite understand - perhaps I just want to see all my faves have fun rather than suffer for once? But this one combines Humor with Social Media, and that’s just a double KO for me. And, of course, it’s wonderfully written as well.-

This Curious Condition Called Love by xtwilightzx | T | Yuuri/Victor | 16k

The bite of pancake is delightfully buttery, with a tang from the cheese curds. Yuuri isn’t sure what his expression is like, but Victor’s smile brightens, and his phone goes up.

“Say syrniki!”

That photo’s going to end up on Instagram in less than a minute. Yuuri ducks, and when Victor whips his phone to follow, Yuuri grabs Victor’s elbow and drags him over so they’re both caught in the shot. Victor laughs, a long line of warmth mashed up against Yuuri’s side. He tucks his arm around Yuuri’s waist and raises his phone again.

Victor uses variations of the same caption every time: Reexploring St. Petersburg with #katsukiyuuri #oneplateatatime

“You’re ridiculous,” Yuuri whispers, after the camera goes off.

Victor smiles. “Ridiculous, but yours.”

(Yuuri has done the transcontinental uprooting of his life twice before and it’s never easy, but this time there are photos plastered all over Victor’s social media, explorations into Russian cuisine, shenanigans with the Russian figure skating national team, calls and messages from friends and family, and Victor, always.

Victor, on the other hand, mostly copes by watching Yuuri adapt to life in St. Petersburg).

-Now, if you put a gun to my head and asked what my fave is, this would probably be my answer. This, for me, is the perfect post-season story. I can’t even begin to describe how much and why I love this fic, but it is absolutely amazing, and it’s a shame that more people don’t know about it. Please read it!-

Winter Song by proantagonist | E | Yuuri/Victor | 156k

The set of Yuuri’s mouth softened into a private smile as Victor squeezed his knee beneath the table. His hands were bare, free from the gloves he so often wore when they were together on the rink, and the heat of his palm burned straight through the denim of Yuuri’s jeans. He slipped his own hand beneath the table and found Victor’s. Hidden from sight, their fingers began to flirt and play. A secret conversation all their own that needed no words.

Yuuri was aware that at some point—a moment in time he couldn’t quite place—Victor had become his boyfriend.

There wasn’t a single instant when it happened. It was a slow awareness, as if Victor had silently been asking the question for months now, and Yuuri had been giving him the answer a little more with each passing day.

-I think everyone knows this one, so I’m honestly not even going to explain why this is on my list. But. It’s amazing.-

[emilyelizabethfowl]

Fic Wars [LLSB] Chapter 1

This is the first chapter of a fanfic @littleladysongbird​​ and I are writing for the Fic Wars! The official event’s blog is @fandomficwars!

Fandom: Camp Camp Tags: Dadvid Ratings: G [general]

Enjoy!

On the last day of spring the camp was empty.

On the first day of summer there was two people and the Quartermaster.

Obviously, the campers weren't meant to come for another week or two, but the counselors had to prepare the camp and check if anything needed any repairs.

Or, to be precise, the counselor, singular.

Gwen still had some personal matters to tend to, and wouldn’t get to the camp until a day or two before the first campers would show up.

So who was the other person at the camp?

It was the one, who always came first and always left last, despite claiming to hate that place.

The one who always scoffed at his parents for sending him away for the whole summer and some more, even though he probably considered that their only good quality.

The person in question is, of course, Max.

***

“Ahhhh, I missed the camp!” David sighed, jumping out of the car. “Nothing’s better than some good old forest!”

“You literally take care of a park for a living.” Grumbled Max, clambering out of the car.

“But it’s not the same! Here… Here I just feel more alive than ever!”

The man enthusiastically circled the car and opened the trunk, revealing an old, neat bag and a small, freshly-bought backpack.

“I still can’t believe your parents let you go with your things in a trash bag!”

Max only shrugged, not looking at him.

“The backpack fell apart half an hour before you were supposed to pick me up, they had to improvise. And the trash back was the biggest bag we had at our place. Besides, you bought me a fucking new one, so there’s no problem now.”

David took the baggage out, letting Max take his backpack out of his hands. He closed the trunk, lost in thoughts.

“It really isn’t a good sign. Caring parents should always-”

“They literally called you to take me to the camp weeks before it’s starting, David. Which part of this is screaming caring parents to you?”

That seemed to get through the thick cocoon of optimism David submerged himself into, and his smile diminished a little.

“If I was your legal guardian, you’d be here now too.” He pointed out.

“Yeah, but you’d be with me and you’d actually want me to be with you. Knowing my parents they’re either on the airport or already at the plane to whatever place they chose to go to this year.”

They slowly made their way over to the councilors cabin. Few steps before the doors the smile came back on his face.

“Well, all that matters now is that you are with me and I want you to be here!” He said cheerfully. “Let’s settle down our luggage and prepare for the best summer camp ever!”

Max’s groaned, but there was no emotion behind it.

***

“Alrighty, the tents are up! What’s next on our list?” David asked, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

Max glanced at his pad.

“Checking the camp activities’ sites for any damage,” he read, “You’re seriously doing that? I thought these stuff are just left until they rot completely, judging by their looks.”

“We never had any proper funding before.” The man gulped down what was left in his water bottle. “We never could do much to fit the safety requirements, but somehow it never was an issue during the inspections.”

He picked up the tool set and made his way over to where the camp activities’ stands were placed. Max obediently toddled after him.

“Campbell bribed them?” he guessed.

“Possibly, yes.”

“So he got no money to fix the stands, but he’s got plenty of cash to bribe the inspectors not to see any problems?”

David laughed.

“Yes, it seems so.” He said. “Apparently the Camp Critic Committee is very eager to look the other way if they get to avoid paying taxes in Thailand.”

Max was so surprised he stopped dead in his tracks.

“What the fuck are they even doing in Thailand?”

“Language, Max,” David scolded gently, going more by habit than any real hope for change. “I guess they do something with really high taxes to need the tax relief.”

“That really doesn’t help at all.”

***

“The last on the list is… Did you really put in ‘Remember to eat and get a goodnight’s sleep!’?”

David put the last stone, creating a pull circle around the place designated for campfire at the opening day of the camp.  

“Eating and sleeping schedule is very important, Max!” He said, wiping his hands on his trousers. “Besides, we need to check the mess hall anyway!”

Max just sighed and followed the way too happy adult to the most used building in the whole camp - second only when counting the bathrooms, especially after some more special meals made by Quartermaster.

But soon his mood got significantly better when they discovered that some of said meals got leftover from last year, and promptly took over the kitchen when no one was looking.

“No inspection will overlook this,” Max managed to gasp out while rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off.

David looked like someone just forced him to kick a puppy, looking around the molded shelves, trying to asses the damage.

“Yeah,” he agreed softly, “And it looks way to bad for us to handle alone. I’m afraid we’ll have to call a specialist.”

He tried to poke a particularly big piece of fungi, but reasonably decided not to when it attempted to eat his finger.

“Maybe two specialists.”

Max laughed so hard he started crying.

***

They ended up getting pizza that night.

Max ate silently, trying not to think about the last time they ate one together, and failing miserably.

Noticing his bad mood, David tried to cheer him up a little, or at least make him forget whatever was troubling him.

“Pizza might not be the healthiest of all meals, but it’s definitely one of the easiest to make and tastiest to eat!” he exclaimed, waving around his slice, ignoring the cheese slowly trying to escape on the ground.

Max stared at the poster on the wall, slightly irked by how askew it was. He was definitely going to level it the first chance he got.

“My parents say it’s the lowest of all foods and never let me get any.” He said out of social obligation not to leave David hanging.

The man gasped loudly.

“But it’s one of the very few things you genuinely enjoy!”

“Do you really think my parents give a shit about it?” he sneered, waving away some wisties that got to the cabin through the open window and very persistently tried to steal olives from his pizza. “I thought we established that already.”

David was silent for a while, sitting still enough for the wistie to try and steal the olive from his slice.

He obviously let the little creature have it, even though it was his favorite part. The man was simply too kind for his own good, literally.

“I just… I still can’t believe how anyone can treat their child that way…”

Max looked him directly into the eyes.

“I was an accident,” he said, voice unwavering. He took another bite of the pizza, feeding off of both the food and David’s disturbance.

“What?” he asked, probably still hoping he just misheard him, the damn optimist.

“I wasn’t planned. My mom didn’t want to marry dad, but she was forced to by her influential family. They didn’t want a scandal, they could’ve made her life a living nightmare if they wanted to, and she was perfectly aware of it. Mom never wanted to have kids too, and wanted to get an abortion, but she was having sex with anything that moved and grandparents wanted to punish her for it.”

David sat speechless, his pizza long since forgotten. Max continued before he could bet coherent enough to speak.

“And this is what she got. A sarcastic little shit. She was so ashamed of having me, that she forced her parents to let her move here.” He shook his head. “Can you blame her?” he laughed dryly.

“Yes,” David answered without a second of hesitation. “I can and I do.”

Now it was Max’s turn to look at him without a word.

“Are you serious?”

David didn’t even need to answer - the look on his face, more serious than any other time Max could remember seeing his face without a smile on it, said it all.

“She’s your mother. She should love you. She shouldn’t be ashamed - she should be proud of you.”

If Max opened his eyes any wider, he just new his eyeballs would fall out of the sockets.

“Proud of me?” he asked. “Proud of fucking what? Loving me? For what? I’m not exactly the loveable kind of a son!”

Knowing David, his hands itched really hard to reach and hug Max. But being aware the boy didn’t like this kind of behavior, he didn’t act out on this desire.

“Every kind of a son is loveable!” He said, every bit of passion he would’ve used in the hug going into that exclamation. “And you’re really intelligent and talented! Your crocheting is extraordinary!”

Max raised his brow.

“Newsflash, I’m an asshole.” He said simply.

“It doesn’t matter!” David countered, “You’re just a child! You deserve to be loved!”

That single word took Max back to all the hours spent on listening to his parents arguments. They never missed the opportunity to tell him he should be glad he was alive.

That he didn’t deserve the things they’ve been getting him. That he didn’t deserve the food, or the house he was living in.

That he didn’t deserve to be born.

“Max…?”

He couldn’t answer, but he didn’t need to; the man couldn’t stand watching the boy being miserable anymore, and wrapped his arms around him in what was probably the tightest hug anyone has given him.

Come to think of it, he couldn’t remember anyone but David even wanting to hug him before.

He let David hold him for a while, but all good things had to end sometime. He didn’t even know he was crying until he noticed the spot his tears left on David’s shirt. He winced, expecting to get punished for it, before he remembered it was David he was dealing with.  

“I don’t deserve to be loved.” He mumbled. “I can’t be loved.”

“Max,” David said quietly, “Max, look at me.”

The boy did so, however unwillingly.

He saw an emotion in the man’s eyes. Emotion he saw when other parents were looking at their children, but it was never directed at him.

“I love you, Max,” David said, his voice gentle, comforting.

“You love everyone!” Max tried to argue. He was used to disappointment, but this was too much. He didn’t want to be given love, just for the man to take it back at the end of the summer.

He wouldn’t be able to take it; He preferred to make it look like he hated David, like he couldn’t stand him.

Because when people don’t care about you, they forget. And when they forget, they can’t hurt you.

Max knew it far too well for a child his age. He wasn’t going to get his hopes up, and he wasn’t going to be let down.

Especially not by David.

“I do love lots of people,” the man agreed, “But that doesn’t mean I love you any less.”

That feeling, when you promise yourself that you won’t do something, and then you end up doing it. Max hated that feeling. But the hope he had, the hope for David to mean what he was saying, he hated it even more.

“And so what?” He said, as rudely as he only could, trying to discourage David from going any further. “So what? It won’t change a thing about my situation! Once the summer’s over, you and your precious love will be miles away!”

David looked like he wanted to say something about it, but he seemed to change his mind.

“But the summer isn’t over yet!” He said instead, “And it won’t be for another three months!”

Max couldn’t believe his own ears. He was doing everything he could to push the man away… But the man was holding on to him, and wasn’t letting him go that easily.

“You’re the bane of my existence,” he said dejected, for he knew it wasn’t going to end well for either of them.

But David just grinned, as if Max agreed with him.

“I love you too,” he said, confirming the boy’s suspicion. “But now, beds! We’ve still got lots to do tomorrow!”

The boy gladly accepted the end of their conversation, obediently going to sleep at Gwen’s yet unoccupied bed.

And soon the room is silent, save for the wisties stealing the remains of their food, the quiet sounds of two people breathing, and ominous sounds of Quartermaster moving outside.

[imaginekpoptrash-blog]

God I feel old... ~ Admin Silver

This might be boring to y’all, but I’m feeling slightly sentimental so please bear with me. I realized something last night and Red semi-talked me into talking about it on here, despite the fact that I’m a few months early.

This summer will make ten whole years of me being a member of the Kpop community.

Ten. Years. Of my life.

I’m 23 years old–24 by the time my actual anniversary rolls around–so a decade is just short of half my life. I got into Kpop in the middle of summer 2007. I was going into my freshman year of high school the following fall, so Lord only knows how impressionable I was at that age. I was going through some things in my personal life during that time, and do you know what helped me through it? Kpop. Variety shows featuring my favorite celebrities. K-dramas. Looking at a lot of the things I do or think–mostly by way of fashion or music or even the way I look at cultures other than my own–I realize it all has been affected by the time I’ve spent in the Kpop community; especially considering how widespread the fandom is. Since I joined, I’ve made friends in various parts of the US, Canada, the Caribbean, all over Asia, Germany, the UK, I’ve even talked to folks from Australia and the Middle East!! I’ve met people from all kinds of walks of life. Simply because of a similar taste in music. It’s amazing how broad our fandom is, and seeing how much it’s widened since 2007 is kind of heartwarming for me. Hell, seeing how the fans have changed over the years is something fascinating for me to look on. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked to Red about that particular subject; and while it isn’t always positive, it’s certainly interesting. Even comparing how music and music videos from then and now thrills me to no end. I love talking about how both have evolved in ten years.

I’ve always ALWAYS been interested in other cultures (I can’t tell you how obsessed I was with Egyptian history in elementary school), and also foreign languages (I tried to teach myself Spanish and tried to teach myself how to read Egyptian hieroglyphs in elem). I was super interested in Japanese culture in junior high because of anime, and of course I was interested in England thanks to Harry Potter (I shit y’all not, I am the biggest damn nerd). But when I got into Kpop? All of my casual interests just kinda…went into overdrive. I wanted to know all I could about anywhere that wasn’t where I live. I wanted to travel, I wanted to learn every language I could, I wanted to read ALL THE HISTORY BOOKS!!! I’m still this way. Ten years later and my interests in the world, in people, in life, are still going strong. Stronger even. All thanks to the Kpop community. All thanks to the people I’ve met and the lessons I’ve learned while here. I’m not exaggerating when I say chances are I wouldn’t be me if I hadn’t gotten into this crazy shit. Hell, I don’t even know who I would be if I hadn’t found Kpop.

I know I’ve told the story a million times, but I want to talk about how I got into Kpop. I honestly don’t remember a lot of things from junior high for certain reasons, but this I do.

I used to read a lot of fanfiction, specifically anime fanfic, specifically Naruto fanfic. Other than fanfiction.net, there was this website called Quizilla (is it even around anymore??) and I had this one author on there that I ADORED. They were on hiatus, but I read and reread everything they had up. I was on the author’s uploads page one day and noticed there was a song embedded at the top. Being the curious loser I am, I clicked play. You know what it was? It was DBSK’s debut album title track Tri-Angle. I. Fell. In. Love. I was sooo into the mix of genres and how the song flowed from a classical piece into everything that the rest of the song was. I absolutely loved the song, and then when I found the music video to their second album title track Rising Sun embedded at the end of one of the author’s chapters, I just had to watch it. I loved what I was seeing, and needless to say I was impressed by U-Know Yunho & Xiah Junsu’s dancing and Max Changmin’s high notes. When the MV ended, the video shrunk and the scrollbar with various related videos popped up and I started scrolling. I remember watching music videos from Se7en, Rain, Lee Hyori, Super Junior, and so many other artists. You know how a snowball rolls down a hill and quickly grows larger and larger? That’s how my entrance into Kpop was.

I was a hardcore Cassiopeia from Day One. I still am. I cannot describe to y’all what I felt like when I went through DBSK’s split–though I’m sure many, if not all, of you know the feeling, yourselves, by now; and if you don’t, I pray that you never do. Anyway, I went from watching music videos to watching every damn subbed variety show that DBSK (and several of my aforementioned artists) was on that I could find. And back then it was a lot harder and took a lot longer to locate things than nowadays (so I want y’all to go to the subbing teams for y’all’s faves and say “thank you” dammit…stop harassing those beautiful hard workers about how long a project takes). I remember watching X-Man (my most fave), Heroine 6, Jihwaza, Love Letter, Family Outing, Star Golden Bell, We Got Married (back when it was actually good, man I miss those first few seasons), Idol Army…I’ll stop myself here before I get winded.

Remember when Se7en worked with Darkchild and released a song with Lil Kim? Remember when BoA worked with Sean Garrett to release a US album? Remember when everyone met on fan forums for their favorite bands instead of tumblr blogs and instagram accounts? Remember when JYJ appeared on Billboard, despite going through everything they went through with SM Entertainment, and released a song featuring Kanye West & worked with Darkchild for that album? Remember when 2PM debuted and the whole beast!idol thing really kicked off? Remember when U-Go-Girl was super popular and Taemin’s mushroom hair was the cutest thing ever? Remember the Chuseok dance specials where idol groups competed against each other? Remember when people were freaking out because Rain was going to be in Speed Racer? Remember when the WORLD joined in on the Nobody craze, making Wonder Girls the first Kpop artists to enter the Billboard Hot 100 chart, and then toured with the Jonas Brothers? Remember Daesung and Kim Jong Kook being the biggest brotp on Family Outing, and the Kim Jong Kook/Lee Hyori pairing nearly throwing out the Kim Jong Kook/Yoon Eun Hye pairing from X-man days? Remember when Wonder Girls had a movie on TeenNick????? Remember when Mirotic came out and everyone lost their shit when Micky Yoochun oh-so-subtly called out the broadcasting companies for literally censoring the line “I got you under my skin” during a fucking live performance in a huge year end show? Good times, good times.

Y’all don’t know how hard I’m trying not to cry right now, I’m feeling so damn sentimental. So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to share with y’all some of my most favorite music videos & live performances from my first few years of Kpop (below the cut), and if you guys are interested…come talk to me about this? Especially if you happen to be pretty new to the Kpop community! I love talking to new fans~

TVXQ - 2008 MKMF Performance (this was one of the last ot5 performances, and one of the best fucking performances in kpop history; also primo example why dong bang shin ki really are the rising gods of the east; not gonna lie, this one hurts me to watch sometimes)

Se7en - Crazy (there was a time when this was the only way i’d count to seven)

MBC Stars Dance Battle After School VS SNSD (fuckin bosses. the fuckin lot of ‘em)

Lee Hyori - U-G-Girl (i included my top boys, so i gotta include my top girl. can’t forget the queen, herself)

Baek Ji Young ft. Taecyeon (2PM) - My Ear’s Candy (good luck gettin this out ya head :D)

[jowanuhxx]

K-fan Journey

It was earlier of the first half last year, January 2017, I officially became one.

One day, I got bored. It was the day of me coming back to Philippines from Macau (to celebrate my legality, Debut).

At the time, The Legend of the Blue Sea and Goblin were hits. So I asked my friend, who is my sunbae in the field 😅, to give me links on wear to watch it and so she did. I was enjoying the fantasies and the works of korean productions to their dramas. Hands down to their great works!! I started to search more dramas... and got addicted to it.

I think the major factor that made me love k-dramas was because I had been dealing anxiety and depression that time. It helped me so much. It helped me recovered to where I left and what I felt in my past, my home and myself. I won't give so much details, it'll bore you.

Kdramas. Then, I shifted to k-variety shows. Running Man is the first variety show I binged watch. I remember the first episode I saw was the one with Taemin, when he jumped out of the stage. I think Running Man lovers know what ep was that. I binge-watch running man until ep 300's before Gary left the show I stopped watching cause it's breaking my heart. It felt like I was already part of the RM family. I'm a huge fan of Monday Couple. That's why I still can't accept JiHyo and Kookie. (I'm in the process).

Let's start my K-pop journey.

Shinee. They were the ones I loved. Waaaay back 2010. Yup, I've been a fan of this 5 lovely dorks. I was into Shinee 8 years ago. I mean who dosesn't love "Replay"? 🎶🎤 Noona, nomo yeppeoooooo. 🎶🎧 I am a Shawol for 8 years! Cheers to that!

Although, Jonghyun's passing really broke my heart. It made me cry for a week. The fact that he took his own life bc of Depression? 😐😕😥😰😩😭

Going back, Shinee became my starting point to become a multi-fandom fan. Yup, you read it right I am a Shawol and many other more. I'm maybe a multi-fandom but remember Shinee will always be my first love and forever number 1 in my heart.

Shinee, as you know, my first love. Those 5 dorks will always be five for me.

They introduce me to their Sunbae's, Super Junior. Actually, I have known SuJu way back "Sorry Sorry" era. How? My first crush/love was a fan of Super Junior. He dance to their music a lot with his friends. I actually love them. Here's a fact, I thought "Heechul Eunhyuk" was just one person because of him. (It was his Second account's name) . But knowing right now at this moment that they are both different person, it just made me laugh so hard!! HEECHUL is the greatest "crazy and psycho" in variety and Eunhyuk is our Anchovy! 😅

I was listening to "Hello" of Shinee and it reminds me of "No Other", I thought it sounded the same and it really does, well theoritically 'yes' but nah they aren't. My mind is just playin' with me.

Bigbang, was actually next to Shinee. I just picked SuJu next cause they are in the same company and I had known them since my elementary days (I'm 4th year in college). Bigbang is like my greatest love. They are my "yeobos". My personality is more of YG like. Every songs I hear from YG is a bomb dropped from the sky. I actually know Teddy, I mean if you stan YG artist you surely know who he is. I wouldn't put so much detail about my Bigbang journey, just know that I downloaded their every single songs plus their Collabs and GD's singles. Btw, I stan GD. He's all over my phone. This is my Coup d'etaaaaaaaa-at! Hands Up! And get daaaaa. 😅

Exo...Exo...XO...XO. And yes, I am also part of this fandom (who always have a dispute against Armys) AERIIIIIIIIS! Chanyeol, he is the first "crazy" dork I've met. I bet this fandom knows "Roommate", with that being said the history happened.

I fell in love in PCY's voice and his dorkness, ofcourse. They are my "namchins", my boyfriends, ne namjachinggu. He started my love with EXO, btw, I don't really like ChanBaek, nope, nah ah ah! I ship ChanSoo more.

D.O. waaaaah, this guy! (me as an declamer and orator) just broke my heart into pieces during "My Annoying Brother" as he shout "Hyung!". I love D.O. but love KyungSoo more. And I don't think he knows how talented he is. His cover of Billionaire made my heart flatter so much. I searched every single cover he made. Open Arms Cover? Jjang! I actually love every single actors in EXO. Suho is next to my fave then Kai then Xiumin. I mean all of them are great actors, except Chen who is the king of OSTs 🤣. I don't want to put them in rank. If I'll write story about each member, this post will be long.

Should I create different post for them? Let's see.

Anyway, back to the topic. I only love this one survival show, The Unit. It broke my heart that Timothy was eliminated after all his top 1 in charts. Anyways. So that happened.

WINNER, WINNER! Actually Mino first. ABUJI! Our pabo mino. New Journey to the West! Watch that and you'll understand how lovable Minho is. You should know Min Ho first to know who Mino is. Yup, they are different like how different G-Dragon and Jiyong is.

Inner Circle! Saranghae! I went back from year 2017 to year 2013 to know every single detail about Winner.

Ladies, I will use 'pity' but that doesn't mean that I really mean it. I just don't know what word to use, cause you know this is an impromptu essay.

Anyway if you watch the survival show you will understand, yeah, I did pity them cause it's obvious that YG favored team B more. Right? Right?!! And because Team B was the best. But thank God our voters saw how hard working Team A is, and they did become the WINNER they are today.

Mino, our first OG leader. Next to our Official Yoon Leader. Uri Hoony. Winner's Crown Jewel Jinu and of course our Maknae, Taehyun. Saranghae! Taehyun oppa, South Club will be successful, I know cause you are working so hard. ❤

Seungyoon makes me fell in love with his smile on Animalal Farm, a K-show about animals or pets. When Ray and Bay slept with him. His vocals that makes me sleep. Yoonie! Jjang!

Mino and Seungyoon, Thank you for making me know ZICO. I'm still in the process of fangirling him. I just knew last night that he and Seolhyun was lovers way back 2016. 😅

Now, I'm proud to say that I'm an International Fan that stans multi-fandom.

Shawol 💚

VIP 👑

Elf 💙

Exo-L ❌⭕

Inner Circle 🌐

Blackjack 🃏♠

Jebbie 🍑

Hani Unnie ❤

This is your Unnie Jaja, your multi-fandom fan and your unnie.