#anyway i don’t think its productive to be hateful or to reduce someone’s statement to fit a narrative you’re creating yourself

[maxlarens]

okay im done talking about lewis and roscoe now, because im really not inclined to get involved in things i don’t know that much about. neither of the anons i’ve answered already were coming from a hateful place and i think all drivers are open to some level of criticism and discussion. there’s nothing wrong with saying those things on tumblr imo

i am however (and this is not directed at any specific anon, it’s just a general comment!!) wary to overly criticise someone like lewis who is the only black driver on a grid dominated by white men, in a sport dominated by white men at all levels. i think there are fair criticisms to level at lewis but i don’t think it helps to call him out on all these little issues that you might ignore for another white driver. i think maybe lewis isn’t doing his best with the resources that he has, but i think he’s trying harder than a lot of other drivers. and that means something.

of course i have general criticisms of activism under capitalism and performative activism. but i dont know if thats helpful here.

[comtesse-d-edessa]

not all porn is about degrading women it’s not all sex trafficking and if a woman or man or anyone wants to sell his or her or their body then it’s their choice you can have sex with anybody and it can be pleasant or a bad experience but just because there’s a camera it’s bad? if you actually looked at porn sites especially the ones about bdsm and intense scenes they speak to the actors at the end to ask how their experience was and they all had a positive one sex sells and people are consumers

Okay this is a lot and there’s only one punctuation mark so I’m gonna answer each point separately for my own clarity. Also included is your second, shorter ask.

1) “not all porn is about degrading women” I mean I guess there is gay porn. But seriously, the attitude surrounding porn speaks volumes otherwise. The way porn videos are described, the fact that domenstic violence and abuse are popular categories, the way pornographers speak about their performers off-set—and the biggest thing is that porn is, indeed, inherently degrading. It cannot not be degrading because the act itself degrades women (and men).

Porn reduces women to sex objects. (It also reduces men to sex objects. Basically everything I am saying in this post could pretty much go for men, too, but I feel as though the people who I tend to ‘look up to’ in terms of knowing their stuff about the porn community tend to have different attitudes towards male porn actors than female. I have seen, although I have not had the time to really look into it, the fact that oftentimes female porn actresses suffer abuses at the hands of their costars. I haven’t really formed my own opinion about that, and the specifically female experience of porn involvement is kind of gender specific, but like, I don’t think only male porn is any more acceptable than male-female or female-female.)

as I said, it makes women a means to an end. I believe that is always degrading, no matter what is happening. And because you say 'not always’, i think we can agree that at least the majority of porn is degrading to women. But later down in the paragraph you excuse porn by saying that it is a choice of the woman to act in porn [thus to be degraded]. But I think that the degradation of the act is not cancelled out by the fact that it is performed for money, and you think that a degrading act is acceptable if it is for money. I’m not making a value judgement on that, I’m just saying what I think the difference in our point of view is.

Also, how much 'degradation of women’ would there have to be in porn (as an industry, if you believe that there are 'non degrading’ pornos) for you to not want to support it anymore?

2) “porn is not all sex trafficking” First I have been remiss in not indentifying what sex trafficking is. I am someone who lives in one of the sex trafficking capitols of the US, and during my HS years a big sex trafficking development (I don’t want to be too specific) occurred which lead to all of the HS students in my area being given a lot of training and education on sex trafficking and the warning signs, etc. Sex trafficking is not being pulled off the street into a van and never seen again except in pornos. Like, I’m not saying that sex trafficking victims are not kidnapped because some are. But the majority are extensively groomed into it so that they 'consent’ to it. Some do it because they have been manipulated by their pimps, who might also be their 'boyfriends’. Some do it because when they showed up for a 'photoshoot’ they were raped on camera, and they are being threatened with the release of their 'sex tape’ and told they might as well become a pornstar anyway. Some do it because they or their families are being threatened. I just want to clear up that there is a ton of different ways women in the sex industry are trafficked, and that it is not as though all of these women were just pulled off the sidewalk and into porn. There are plenty of ways much more subtle than that to traffick a woman into sex work, and they are not readily apparent—or possible to identify at all, really—to the porn viewer. Anyway, just wanted to clear up. Onto my next point: can you guarantee that you have never seen a trafficked woman in your porn? If not, what is the acceptable number of trafficked women you would accept in your porn? What amount of trafficked woman would induce you to give up porn?

(Wow, only on the second statement. This is gonna be a super long post I guess. Sorry to all scrolling.)

3) “and if a woman or man or anyone wants to sell their body, then it’s their choice”I have mentioned that a lot of the time, it is not. And that isn’t something to take lightly, but I will not focus on it for too long since you do not appear to think sex trafficking is a big problem in the porn industry/a reason to not support the porn industry. But also, just because someone is choosing to perform an inherently degrading act (acting in porn) that doesn’t mean that the act it’s absolved of its degradation.

4) “you can have sex with anybody and it can be a pleasant or bad experience but just because there’s a camera it’s bad?”Porn is not two people having sex and a camera is there. Porn is two people who generally would not choose to have sex with one another recreationally, having performing porn (oftener and oftener, violent, humiliating, and 'hardcore’ sex acts being involved) specifically for pay.

Porn is not real sex. It’s showbiz. Granted, this is showbiz that can leave its performers diseased, injured, and with psychological trauma. The gruesome side of porn is all too real, but comparing it to real sex would be like comparing High School Musical to a real world high school experience. It is a visual product designed to create a reaction, not to simulate real life. And it is undeniable that over the years as more and more people demand and crave more and more hardcore porn, porn has only gotten farther and farther away from anything close to a depiction of 'real sex’. I only wish someone would tell that to the men who feel entitled to try to enact these gross fantasies out with their significant others, and for the women who feel as though they could never measure up to something that is literally not reality.

But you might want to retort with 'homemade’ porn, the conceit of which is a real-life couple engaging in recorded sexual activity either for themselves only or for a wider audience. Being a big fun-sucker, I don’t like those either. It is not uncommon for those videos which were recorded with the intention of never being made public to be made public, in acts of 'revenge porn’, and this would not be easy to tell to the porn viewer. And also, it still ties into the fact that by recording sexual acts to use for sexual gratification, the body is still made into a sex object, which I have said I think is inherently degrading. I don’t think people’s bodies should be used as objects, even if they are doing it to themselves. See my above point about consent not negating the problems with an action.

5) “if you actually looked at porn sites, especially the ones about bdsm and intense scenes, they speak to the actors at the end to ask how their experience was and they all had a positive one��

I am aware that this happens.

And yeah. They’re performers. The people asking this are the people who pay them. I’m sure for literally any organization, you could find a group of the people who rely on them for money and get them to say whatever nice things the organization wants about them. Surely you can see why every porn actor is under extreme pressure to agree that they had a good time with whatever happened during filming, not even mentioning the women who are sex trafficked (I know you think it is “not all” which I’m sure is technically correct, but you must agree then that they do exist) who have to agree that they had a good experience for reasons I’m sure you understand.

And every time, the experience is positive? Even when you yourself say, there are at least SOME trafficked women doing at least SOME degrading porn, every experience is positive?

All I’m saying is that this is an incredibly bad quality-control check. Even from the (false) assumption that porn itself is not bad, and only abuse or injury on-set are what can make an individual porno bad, then this is an obviously totally ineffective actual strategy for keeping the “bad” parts out of porn. This is just the flimsiest of excuses to allow people to justify the consumption of increasingly violent porn. And people grab onto that desperately to try to ease their consciences, even though I cannot honestly believe most people think that that’s actually an accurate way of telling whether or not a porn actor had a positive experience.

(Take this porn performer’s experience, for example. https://jezebel.com/porn-actress-nikki-benz-sues-mindgeek-brazzers-co-sta-1825143669 )

6) “sex sells and people are consumers”

You’re not wrong, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay. Just because people will consume something doesn’t mean that it should be consumed. I hate to be the 'slavery allegory’ person, but people really did used to buy slaves. (I mean, they still do in some parts of the world.) but “slaves sell and people are consumers”, while being an antebellum USA reality as much as your statement is a reality of 2019, does not actually mean either of the statements are making a value judgement. Just because the world is one way really, really doesn’t mean that that is at all okay. People kind of suck. The world kind of sucks. Morals are not decided by popular opinion.

Also, sex does not sell. What porn is selling is not sex. What porn is selling is, again, the devaluation and degradation of the human person. And yes, people consume that. And increasingly, it is normalized in society so that people feel othered for not doing it, so that girlfriends are mocked for not liking it, and it is laughed off as just a thing that men and women do. So more and more people consume that degradation.

On your next ask—

7) “How about porn categories that don’t degrade anybody?” See #1. It is not the acts performed in porn (though they are increasingly humiliating and extreme) which make it degrading so much as the fact that porn itself is degrading. To everybody.

8) “when it’s just regular couples having sex, is that wrong too?” Yes. See last paragraph of #4.

Here are the sources you asked for:How porn negatively affects the brain and sexual/romantic relationships:https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1559-1816.1988.tb00027.x^^ “After consumption of pornography, subjects reported less satisfaction with their intimate partners—specifically, with these partners’ affection, physical appearance, sexual curiosity, and sexual performance proper. In addition, subjects assigned increased importance to sex without emotional involvement.” The abstract.

https://profiles.nlm.nih.gov/ps/access/nnbckv.pdf^^ porn consumption made people place less emphasis on sex with emotional connection, less expectation of fidelity to a partner/from a partner and more accepting of affairs, no longer desire marriage or children, and thought more highly of male-dominated relationships. It also made people (men and women both) ascribe shorter prison sentences to rapists and to be less affected/moved by rape.

https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-affects-sexual-tastes/https://fightthenewdrug.org/why-consuming-porn-is-an-escalating-behavior/https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-affects-the-brain-like-a-drug/^^ porn is addictive and porn consumption becomes more 'hardcore’ and extreme over time.

https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-damages-consumers-sex-lives/#c11^^ porn is making people bad at 'real life’ sex (again, porn is not sex.)

https://humantraffickingsearch.org/the-connection-between-sex-trafficking-and-pornography/^^ the link between human trafficking and pornography, although there are many more articles which will discuss this, I will just link this relatively short one and the source for THAT one, http://www.prostitutionresearch.com/FarleyRentinganOrgan11-06.pdf^^ “In every country, almost half of the respondents said that they were forced to make pornography while enslaved in sex trafficking.”

[calleo-bricriu]

(( Another conversation-in-the-comments with @absintheabsence thing I converted; slight editing for clarity and all that. Original post was on Sept. 9th and the year in which it took place 1990. It’s, like, 90% fluff which is my favorite sort of thing. ))

"I really ought to consider getting up at some point." Calleo hadn't been speaking to anyone in particular so much as he was thinking out loud. He'd never been good at laying about and doing nothing, even on days off.

"Don't." So he WAS awake. Honestly, with Grindelwald it was difficult to tell sometimes.

Calleo blinked and, as he hadn't yet started to move, there wasn't much of an issue in staying where he was, “Fair enough. It’s quite comfortable now that it’s no longer actual straw.”

"If I’d allowed you, you would have made it goose-feather or worse. Anyhow, isn’t this meant to be the ‘day of rest’ for you heathens?”

“Feathers poke." The statement was dry enough, but mitigated by the laugh that followed it, "And I AM resting. Sort of. Still laying down at any rate."

“You can spend the day in and out of sleep, if you like. I won’t disturb you.” That offer struck Calleo as mildly unsettling, sleeping when he knew the only other person in the room would be awake was just--odd, regardless of who it was.

“Oddly enough, I’m not particularly tired, just–lazy, I guess.” The shrug he offered turned into more of a stretch.

“More than fair; you’ve certainly earned the right.” A curious statement, earning the right to be lazy, of all things!

“I’d say I agree if half my mind wasn’t still needling me to get up and do something.” This time, Calleo was only partially speaking in jest. It was his mind, after all, that rarely let him relax or, at least, relax while doing nothing that could be measured in terms of productivity. Years of bad habits break hard, after all.

“I can tell it quite directly to hush and let you alone.” What Grindelwald said didn't sound like a threat, it didn't even have the undercurrent of a threat, yet it still somehow was vaguely just--a tiny bit threatening. Control over his own mind was not something Calleo was ever keen to hand over to someone else.

Access, sure, but not control.

“You can," he began slowly, "but I doubt it’ll listen. It’s easy enough for me to ignore, if nothing else.”

“Good. If it grows more persistent I’ll have to do something about it.” It still wasn't a threat. A threat would be more direct, would it not? Definitely not a threat just--some kind of mild chiding, maybe even teasing. But, not a threat.

“I’m usually all right with ignoring it–mostly–on weekends." Maybe he'd stop suggesting taking control of the blasted thing now if that sounded placating and good natured enough, "Still might try to get a little more work done this afternoon, though.”

An exaggerated sigh is heaved, eyes turned up toward the misty heavens above. “I suppose, if you really must.”

Calleo blinked owlishly and, for the moment, forgot all about the 'I'll make your mind behave if you can't'. When he finally found his voice again, the question was nearly entirely laughter, “Did…you just roll your eyes at me?”

“Nonsense. I did nothing of the kind.” A mock-offended answer, of course.

“I CAN see without my glasses," which he pointed to, sitting on the desk across the room, "you know. They’re only for reading small print. But, all right, I’ll leave it until tomorrow.”

“Ah- of course you can. I’d forgotten. Hm.” A silver head nestled into Calleo's chest. “Very good. I’m pleased.”

“You’re a bit like an oversized cat, you know. I figure if I don’t leave it until tomorrow, you’ll just knock my coffee," which was now probably just going to end up cold, "off the table out of spite.”

“I never dreamed you had such a talent for Legilimency.”

“I can manage if I really give it a go; that one was just pattern recognition though,” the answer was a short laugh, “The rug might protest if you did, however.”

“How I’d hate to lose its esteem.” A dry, vaguely sarcastic reply but that was to be expected.

“It might try to trip you," Calleo pointed out, "I seem to recall it doesn’t like having coffee spilled on it. That's what always got it to try and trip me, at any rate.”

“Really the last thing I need.” The previous time Grindelwald had tripped had resulted in mildly fractured bones in a couple of places and that hadn't been much of a tumble at all.

“Assuming it can hear somehow, if it trips you deliberately, I may just set it on fire.” The rug inched subtly away, scraping a little on the stone floor.

“I said IF!" Calleo deliberately looked at the moving bit of carpet, "It has to know that if it sneaks away like that it was probably thinking about it.”

“Or you sounded very sure in your threat.” He chuckles low, pressing a kiss or two where he can reach. “My brave champion.”

“It wasn’t a threat, more a statement of fact. If it trips me, I’ll just purposely dump coffee on it out of spite,” he snickered in response, “Yeah, brave enough to tackle a seventy year old rug!”

“Well, now, I doubt tackling it would do you much good." It was a chastisement, but a playful one, "That would only serve to place you far closer to the floor than I know you’d want.”

“As though I’d get into a physical fight with a rug. That’s only slightly more absurd than getting into a magical fight with a rug.”

“You’ve managed to keep me in bed all day and into the night. I do enjoy laying around as we are.” It definitely would have been a lie to say that Calleo’s mind hadn't frequently wandered back to exactly how much work he wasn't getting done that needed to be done before Monday morning but it had become clear some hours ago that that was not going to be a thing that happened today.

“I think it’s just wonderful. I can scarcely remember anything like this sort of ease. Well done, spirit; you’ve successfully seduced me into comfort.”

“What an awful thing, being able to relax a bit.” That coffee on the table was definitely stone cold by now.

"Halte den Mund. You know perfectly well that it's more than that."

“I’m aware. It is nice." After a moment, an oddly excitable sounding question, "Guess how long it’s been since I’ve not worked for an entire day?”

“Infancy?” Grindelwald didn't even attempt to hide the sarcasm behind that answer. Not even a little.

“I’m not counting things I wasn’t getting paid for," he waved the sarcastic answer away, "If I were it’d probably be since I was 11. Otherwise, 23.”

“Seven years, yes? Auspicious.”

"Mm. Just over, yes. The backlog always bothers me. It was worse before I got there and even with mostly competent staff, we’re still only up to 1986.”

“Needless to say I have every confidence in you. If anyone can grapple with the needlessly complex…” he trailed off.

“Two of my three can keep it going when I’m out. The third–would be able to if he spent less time being mad about reporting to someone thirty years younger. He spends probably 80% of his time being mad about that."

“If you can master a will such as mine, his should be no great feat.”

“I’m pretty sure he wants to fight me, actually; mostly on account of him saying so. And I don't want to master anything about him, I want him to do the job he was hired to do, which he should be doing without needing to be forced into it.”

Grindelwald laughed at that, shaking his head. “I relish the thought of how very sorry you could make him should the fool get what he asks for.”

“It’s probably for the best that I don’t want to deal with the paperwork hassle.” Now, Calleo fell silent for a few minutes, “Could I ask you something, out of interest?”

“You can ask, yes.”

“I’ve seen you make comments now and again about how you were "beautiful then”. I’m curious as to why you seem to believe it belongs in the past tense.“

The look Calleo received was utterly blank, uncomprehending. “Put your blasted spectacles back on, Bricriu.”

“All right,” he did exactly that, after summoning them back over from the desk across the room, “Not sure what difference it’s meant to make; still think it’s definitely a present tense thing.”

Grindelwald sat up abruptly. “Enough flattery. You scarcely need it now.”

“It isn’t flattery. If it were flattery, I’d be trying to convince you that you looked the same, wouldn’t I? Feel free to rifle through my head if you’d like to see for yourself–and lie down again.”

The old man only growled at him. “I can stretch my back, can’t I?” He doesn’t look. He couldn’t be sure he would know what to do with what he might see.

“Is it bothering you again? Your back, I mean,” Calleo reached out to run his hand over the other's back, “You do realise that I only said I find you beautiful, right? Not that you look the same as you did fifty or so years ago.”

“My hearing is perfectly fine, thank you,” he said testily, making an abortive move to bat the hand away but not quite following through. “And it aches a little, nothing that needs seeing to. The scarring likes to twist now and again. Readjust.”

“You know what’s funny? A few years back a Muggle showed me some techniques that can loosen or break up the adhesions that cause that to happen. It’s surprisingly not painful, though it does produce some unsettling crackling noises. I could have a go, if you’d like,” that offer was more rhetorical than anything and there was strong indication that he intended to have a go anyway, “And, just to avoid an argument you’re not going to win, there’s not a thing you can say to change my view of you. I love how you look.”

“If it’s the sort of thing that’s meant to reduce the size or the shape of it I’ll do more than produce a few unsettling noises," Grindelwald still sounded more than a little testy, “You could live here day and night for a hundred years and I could never begin to understand the, the twist in imagination that would bring a mind like yours close to such a thought as that. And I have been mad for some time now; you’ve seen me raving.”

“Oh, no, it won’t change the size or shape of anything; it just removes adhesions to the tissue below. That’s usually what causes them to remain a bit painful, especially when moving,” he sat up finally and moved to be, as usual, half curled instead of sitting like a normal person, behind Gellert, “I’d be a bit cross if you did anything that’d change or remove any of mine, after all; wouldn’t dream of doing that to you.”

“I’m not mad and neither are you,” Calleo placed his thumbs side by side atop one of the scars, pressed fairly firmly, and made a slow back and forth movement, inching along the lines of it, “we both have our moments, certainly, but not mad overall. It’s not imagination either, mine or yours. I can see you well enough and clearly enough, and it doesn’t change my view of any of it. I quite like the view from every angle I’ve seen it.”

“Thing is, for as much as I know you could sit and watch me do nothing at all, I could easily do the same with you,” Calleo's tone had shifted to absently but still pleasantly conversational as it often did when he was speaking while working on something else.

Gellert hissed and then swore as his companion began the work of pushing through the gnarled knotwork of tissue that was by now almost a century old, the lines etched into him bone-deep. He said nothing as Calleo spoke, and continued to speak. When the old man’s eyes screwed tight, however, the trace of moisture in them had nothing to do with the painful cracking, loud as a whip, between his shoulder blades, or with the nails digging into his palms.

When the response was silence, Calleo shifted a bit to more easily reach around and tap one of Gellert’s hands, “I don’t need to use them both; it works just as well with only one.” He kept his hand resting lightly over the other’s, “There’s pretty clearly a story behind this one. If you’d like to tell me, I’m happy to listen; if you’d prefer not to, I completely understand, and will not pry.”

He seethed a breath, but ran his thumb over Calleo’s still- such beautiful hands, so clever, so vicious, so gentle, so merciless- “I was seventeen. It was the first of its kind ever to be drawn in flesh like this.”

“Does it do anything? Or was it just an indicator mark?” He paused, trying to figure out how to best move the areas where different shapes touched; a movement in one direction or another wouldn’t have been quite right, and he opted for small circles instead, “It’s not in a spot you could have reached on your own. Do you mind if I ask who did it?”

The air shudders even as it’s pulled into his lungs, bright things burning behind his eyes when he shuts them. Triangles and circles and lines. “It was long ago. We were boys, he and I. A great many of my ideas began their life inside him."

After a pause, “To this day, he has the twin of this mark.”

“I’m not entirely sure why, but none of that surprises me,” Calleo kept kneading at the area, “Does it do anything? Communication wise, specifically—or was it just more of an identifier?”

“When it was fresh… yes, a little. Sympathetic sensations, temperatures. A key to easier Legilimency, possibly. The effects- did not have the time to be tested fully." Grindelwald paused, “It isn’t just a brand, you know. Look closely. There’s a form of ink there also. Keep on the way you are and surprise may well find you by and by.”

“Oh, I’ve read about things like that before." Specifically, he'd heard quite a lot about the brands Voldemort's Death Eaters all carried but thought it best not to mention that part, "Never really looked into doing anything of the sort though. Does it still—ah—work? Or are you not certain?”

“I would never presume to try. Not now, and not ever.” His eyes hard as he turned to catch Calleo’s in their gaze. “I suppose you can guess what two boys drunk on their own power and impossible promises used for their ink, hm?”

“Fair enough, especially not knowing if it’d be welcome or not,” a slightly sympathetic smile, “I could guess, just based on what I already know.”

“I also know this is an uncomfortable topic for you, to put it lightly, and I wouldn’t wish to pry if you’d rather I don’t. I also won’t lie and tell you I’m not curious.”

“I will tell you this. Never convince yourself, as long as you live, that another man’s blood belongs under your skin. No mortal man is worth the utter wreck it has the power to render you. Once ‘always’ has run its course, my dear, even the possibility is an unbearable humiliation."

“I think you have guessed his name. In my madness I may even have said it before. All I ask of you, Calleo, is that you take this knowledge with you to your grave, such as it will be.”

“I’ll assume whatever it is we’ve done that lets that Astarte react to you now is significantly different.” That was the only very mild indication of 'hey, that would have been a useful thing for you to have said five days ago before you did exactly that and not five days after the fact'. Now would not have been the best time to bring that up. Some other day, perhaps. “You have said it, and you needn’t worry about it ending up in a gossip column somewhere. Private conversations are private, after all.”

“Oh—though, it’s not going to have caused anything to happen with what I’ve been doing, is it?”

“No. The distance is too far.” He lays his hand atop the other man’s, and falls silent.

“Would you like me to stop for now?” He does at least pause long enough to lean around and give Gellert a kiss on the cheek. “Should you ever wish to talk about any of it just to get it off your chest, I’m always happy to listen.”

[andersonguy-blog1]

Empowerment

A new year, a new me is an exemplary lack-lustrous goal, a goal with little-life in it because it’s aim is to continue to use the outer to complete the inner and in this particular case the outer is in the form of ‘time’. 'A new me’ is a big statement it’s nearly always inflated and elaborate, it doesn’t just hint at small improvements it implies a complete new person and life. The reason I say inflated is because in this context it involves becoming 'bigger and better’ not being humble, gentle, grateful, open, kind. The phrase at the start of this paragraph becomes even more clearly distorted when the idea of becoming 'a person of success with a successful life’ is going to be due to an ambiguous and unrelated cause - a change of date in the calendar. '2017 is going to be the year I make it’ is overlooking the simple truth that one has already made it. One is a perception that one has not yet found life and needs too and the other is knowing they are life itself.

Goals become empowered with divine inspiration when they serve universal intent. Essentially anything that helps us appreciate the fullness of life in the moment is the higher intelligence at work and anything that can help keep us in the dream state of separateness goes against it. Music that connects, ice cream that tastes soooo good, businesses that unexpectedly give back or surprise, inspirational stories, David Attenboroughs commentary and the production of planet earth and so on are things that humanity offer to enhance the moment of the now. Nature, the solar system, beautiful scenery, beautiful animals and the space that allows everything to exist are the greatest enhancements to the now though and they are created by the same intelligence that created us. We are one and whole with the source of all life, we are intrinsically connected to a higher intelligence greater than ourselves and we are here to serve it. We can’t serve it without serving each other so a goal that includes and not excludes, that serves 'we’ and not 'me’, that inspires others and a goal that resonates with the 'higher energy frequency that created all that is’ are the only goals that are free from polarity (turning off and on) because they both fulfil and create simultaneously. The most important aspect of a universally aligned goal is to honour every moment in time of creation/improvement/innovation. It’s important to know what direction your going in but it doesn’t need to be compulsively revisited in the mind, when every step of the way is appreciated and honoured then the goal is continually fulfilling in itself. When the now is priority and past/future are rarely visited then life is a celebration, the concept of failing is no more and instead joy and enthusiasm become the predominant states of being independent of results or anything else external. One simply enjoys every moment of creation not the thought of the fruits of it so a goal is just a lovely addition to continuing to revel in life’s 'now’, it doesn’t make life we are life but it can add to it beautifully.

The three best things I learnt in 2016 was what true love is, how destructive preaching can be and how to cease judging myself and others. I don’t mean all these things are permanent, they can all come and go still but I often taste 'the nectar’ their virtuosity provide. The best thing I have learnt is that I am not 'me’ I am 'we’ and I see the angel in everyone when I see my own. For some good time now I have spoken nothing but sweetness of others and when I do see the 'faults’ operating in them I nearly always speak of them peacefully, this has been perhaps the greatest achievement in my life. It’s a conscious choice that liberates because it goes against the conformity grain of social acceptability, I no longer follow so many thoughts that many others follow. It’s insane that true love isn’t usually socially acceptable, an example could be sitting next to a homeless person and spending time with him or her, maybe even eating dinner with them, something I’d love to do actually. (I wrote about it a few weeks ago and I am still yet to give gifts to the homeless because I reconsidered my idea about giving them books, I don’t think this is loving now, anyway il talk about this in a separate post). But yea many people won’t exactly embrace an act of kindness such as this, 'it’s too much’, and they will be uncomfortable with the idea, some may even think what the hell are you doing haha. Following one another or rather people acting like sheep is only people wanting to be around others who think and subsequently act the same as they do. There is comfort to be found in finding people who think-alike because loneliness is lifted 'oh, I’m not as separate as I thought’ - until another debilitating thought comes up. Destructive thoughts are allowed to roam free because so many are possessed by their mind, they value it higher than their inner beauty because they don’t yet know how it feels. Once they experience it though they won’t want anything else, nothing will or will want to be valued higher. Destructive thoughts create destructive effects and in the physical realm the effects can’t alleviate until the cause is resolved. Rather than being possessed by mind one can be possessed by God (or possessed by love if you don’t connect with the word God). I spend more of my life free of being comforted by thoughts and burdened by them too, and the best thing about it is it’s a gift available to anyone. The overcoming the preaching bit has taken the most time to see-through. The definition of preaching is 'to publicly proclaim or teach (a religious message or belief) or to sincerely advocate (a belief or course of action).’ So the definition of preaching is rather beautiful and peaceful but the word has got a heavy connotation to it. That’s because most preaching isn’t so accepting, it could otherwise be known as forceful-preaching and I used to do it much more often, i bought up spirituality and the idea of it to my friends and family in conversation without them showing interest. If you have found yourself preaching and you find it hard to stop it’s certainly something you will do less of the more you become aware of the mechanism behind it. And the driving force is usually 'look what I know that you don’t yet, look how great I am’. Because I haven’t had a big ego for sometime now I have never lived so gracefully, because it operates in me less I don’t feel so much pain. I do still feel pain but it becomes more obvious how diminished it is when things happen that would usually really pain me don’t anymore. So instead when I feel any thing unsettling I go straight to the 'problem’ in me not the problem I perceive caused it outside of me, which never really does it’s always me causing my own suffering. We all create our own pain and the more we believe someone or something else did or does the more intense we feel it and the longer its vibrational frequency operates. Whenever I may meet someone my upmost priority is to be free of suggesting she finds her radiant inner beauty in any situation by trying to tell her how too. Instead I want to watch what’s not beautiful in her like I do in me, i want to let it all go. I want to always be playful and light with her which may seem impossible but it’s kind of fun to do the impossible as Walt Disney said or at least aim for it. Although I may know that she has not yet seen how powerful she is it takes great power to let her be as she is anyway, the more she is celebrated for who she is in the moment no matter how hateful or judgemental she may be being the more love flows through the cracks. Suggesting that there is euphoria to be experienced is lovely but not so lovely when you suggest how - which can only be by facing ones own negativity/problems/inner devil otherwise known as ego. The ego is on high alert to anything that may reduce and bring about its end so the 'thought’ of its destruction will make it stronger. This is why true love cannot be bestowed on another, it’s a delicate process becoming aware that one has an entity in them that is self destructive. And it’s even more delicate to realise the entity is so prominent it’s pretending to be who one thinks they already are nearly all the time. 'You have an entity in you that is inhabiting your life greatly and also your not conscious of it either, you don’t even know you think it’s you’ are words if uttered to another become just as insane as the ego itself. Expressed in this way makes the insanity more obvious, maybe it will help you too if you have ever found yourself trying to change another because you are absolute certain it’s for 'their own benefit’, maybe reading what I wrote is as clear to you too just how insane it can be (and negative) to say such elaborate words to try and help someone realise their own love, beauty, life essence. No matter how good and noble it may feel to want to try and help save someone it is incomparable to loving them just as they are. The secret to experiencing euphoria is to see the ego in them just like you do in you but let it happen, let it continue to operate in them and love them. Your love is likely to hurt him or her when they can’t yet reciprocate your trueness by them feeling bad/guilty but their opposition to true love is their ego and we are powerless to stopping this for them. But we can be exceptional by accepting them in their entirety and when we can’t we can see what in us in not accepting, not what they need to do differently.