#anyway guess who's now breaking out in hives

[osirisdefencesquad]

more oc posting but I'm not sorry. Vela as Crow's mentor.

[zabala0z]

What is up, welcome back to “Newbie listens to TMA and suffers!” Here is my vague notes and thoughts tehehehe:

MAG 26:

Okay. Love Sasha. I vaguely know who “Michael” is already because of the awesome fanart. Looks like it distorts in reflective or transparent surfaces? Y’know. Windows, water, etc. “Michael” also claims to want to help which is nice. Sasha saw that guy with the holes, like Jane had (MAG 22) and that guy was Timothy Hodge from Squirm (MAG 6). So I guess he didn’t burn that flat down efficiently enough. Rip.

Anyways I trust “Michael” since it stopped a worm from burrowing into Sasha. It better not betray my trust istg.

Anyways. Nothing on A Sturdy Lock.

With Skintight (MAG 28), I do recognize the name Sarah Baldwin but FUCK I cannot find where her name popped up so I just gotta wait now.

Cheating death had nothing to note but I really like that interpretation of death. Guess that’s why the skeleton didn’t even point out that the guy cheated 💀

Then MAG 30. There’s been some recurring theme of meat like from MAG 18 and that’s very intense enough to note. Nothing to note from First Hunt

Finally, MAG 32: Hive.

Woo! Jane Prentiss statement! I didn’t make any connections since it was just her yapping about the song from the wasps nest. I mostly wrote down details that I thought would come up later. But I thought it was interesting that this guy, Oliver, would come into the store and stare at her sadly. Not a name I can pinpoint but I wrote it down just in case.

Also. Her flat burned down. The cause was cause of a lot cigarette from the landlord while in his chair but it said he made no attempt to escape so I’m doubting that cause. I had a theory Timothy burned it down but then I realized that a flat is just one home, not a complex, and the timelines wouldn’t have matched up. Man, I was so proud to 💀

Also interesting that she claimed she was possessed at one point so the institute was involved. I wonder if she was like breaking out of the infection or was lying to hide or.

Anyways, glad I was right on this shit being a hive. I am now terrified of holes now though.

[birchbow]

I’ve been thinking about drones and just the whole logistics of it all. They’ve got to pick up two contributions from every troll? One after another? So presumably the pails get filled ahead of time. Would a troll have enough time to help out more than one pitch/flush partner if there’s an odd number of trolls total? Or is someone just SOL if they’re on a ship with an odd number of trolls? Oh hell, on the dark carnival there’s sometimes prisoners - and jeez, what about them?? Ah this got kind of dark and now I’m second guessing sending it, but I’m curious about your thoughts, feel free to ignore if you like!

These ARE the questions lol. I've been hammering away and I'm putting together a theory I will call the Tax Fraud Drone Theory and I am figuring pieces of it out as I type this at two AM, lol. CW of course for drone-season/fuck-or-die related discussion because: terrible bug aliens from hellmurder planet.

tl;dr, drones are a basic system that expects to hit up trolls in tribal/village numbers and slowly, methodically iterate their way through. Their system isn't evolved for modern trollish community structures, and often won't have the storage capacity to hit every single troll or couple (especially in a whole city) before they head back to the Mother Grub--so you can gamble and get by with one quadrant. OR even dodge them completely, but the contagious effect of their pheromonal presence will make you real sorry if you do! Further extensive rambling under the cut.

SO: a concept.

The basic function of drones is to follow the pheromonal/scent trail of trolls to a population center and go down the line demanding donations. (Theoretically, hitting different areas of the planet in waves, always coming and going, so the whole population isn't incapacitated at once.)

in situations that would have been natural when trolls were first established as a species, drones would largely find you living in groups ranging from a small travelling clade to a manageably village-sized collection of hives, SO:

In those circumstances, the drones could simply progress logically from iteration to iteration, prioritizing people who haven't contributed and then starting over with the people who have had the longest break since their first contribution, until pitch and flush contributions have been collected from everybody and/or the people who can't keep up have been culled.

(Presumably people who were near the start of the chain and already checked both boxes sometimes find it in their heart/spades to flip pitch or flush with an unlucky straggler, although that's risky if you don't genuinely think you can summon up a compatible enough match to satisfy the drones)

This is part of the reason drone pheromones send trolls into such an altered state, because odds are good you'll have to be in the mood for a hot second while the drones work their way around your community, and also will have to fuck several times.

Plus, I could imagine it's not unheard-of on-planet for one drone to finish up and then another one to show up a day later, attracted by the increased number of trolls and their much "louder" pheromonal signature! If we assume the drones are a semi-sentient purpose-driven messenger evolved to serve the Mother Grub (which I do haha) it's not like they would have a database.

(Drone pheromones would also function as a sort of indirect, auxillary means of reinforcing their purpose--not having quadrants to bone down with when drones are around is harshly physically/ mentally taxing and even if you managed to evade them and/or lock yourself up alone, most trolls will be fucked up enough they'll end up culled shortly afterward anyway.)

While trolls can't produce drone pheromones themselves, they're triggered by it to involuntarily produce a similar substance, which is notably incredibly "contagious" to other trolls around them, so even one drone in an area can have far-reaching ripple effects of Horny Time

BUT: Even prior to the Rebellion of Beasts, in semi-modern Alternia, trolls often lived in much larger cities than the drones' basic biology and capabilities could iterate combinations for, and so they would just continue to fill buckets from the next "fresh" troll they caught a whiff of, preferentially alternating pitch and flush, until all the drones dispatched to the area had reached capacity.

THUS: while it's still crucial to have strong quadrants filled if you want to be relatively safe, not every troll will be necessarily be demanded to consummate both, but WATCH OUT

Basically in the same way that you COULD falsify your taxes, but you could get audited at any time and then you're fucked, you CAN go into drone season with just one quadrant (or even no quadrants at all if you're feeling incredibly lucky and live in a super crowded area). BUT if the drones happen to get to the end of a chain of quadrants and end up next door, and you're the nearest relatively "fresh" troll they sniff out, you're dead meat.

It's also possible to physically lock yourself away from the drones but it requires heavy fortifications--it's also wildly illegal and grounds for immediate culling, and fiercely policed by the community, since every troll that tries that shit makes it that much harder and more deadly for everybody else.

If you get caught by your neighbors building some kind of panic room or something you are IMMEDIATELY under intense scrutiny and you BETTER be seen out and about every single drone season. Or a neighbor is likely to take things into their own hands and take you out of the gene pool themself.

While usually the exponentially-increasing privilege of the hemospectrum makes higher bloods exempt from shit like that, the exponentially decreasing physical numbers of colder bloods means that a different kind of social pressure is leaning on highbloods, a more noblesse oblige expectation that you'll do your part to keep the ruling classes populated with fresh blood from powerful couplings.

That said, a rare few especially powerful or crucial members of the empire can be ruled exempt by the empress, which basically just means she says explicitly that you get to build a bunker and lock your door when the drones come around--along with one or two other trolls For Your Health.

The Grand Highblood, a handful of seadwellers from her court that don't tideally suck, and any especially competent imperial generals of the various divisions of her army tend to fall under exemption, although she'll revoke it off-handed if you fuck up, so there's a lot of impetus to stay on top of your game.

In modern Post-Rebellion Alternia, trolls out on the farthest warfronts have increasing amounts of time between drone seasons, because the drones have to fly out from Alternia, track down ships and then fly all the way back. This is one of the many ways the empire encourages people to get way the fuck out onto the frontlines.

But they could still show up at any time, including to ships actively on the war front, so like. you better watch out you better watch out YOU BETTER WATCH OUT YOU BETTER--

In cases like the Church Fleet as I've written it, where there are prisoners present on-ship, it's just kind of expected that their lives are going to hornily suck absolute shit for several days while the drones are on-board, but the fortifications to keep prisoners secure also do keep the drones out.

In pursuit of not having prisoners die prematurely of dehydration and exhaustion, which is a very real risk if you're just locked up by yourself alone during drone season, I'd guess a lot of ships with prisoners just kind of throw them in groups into cells with extra food/water supplies and come back to pick up the pieces after the drones are gone again.

In some ways, a better way to spend the drone season than most free trolls, because you're locked up and don't have to worry about the drones! But also: kind of a nightmare hahaaa @_@ And also you're still a troll prisoner so like. You're going to die eventually anyway.

It's not good! But like, what about the Alternian empire is tbh. Hell society of the murder-bugs.

Bonus concept I'm chewing on: pheromone trails are a workable sollution on-planet, but basically impossible to follow all the way out into space--the reason the drones can find you no matter how far away you run to set up a colony is that the Mother Grub and her drones actually folded the Glb'golyb into a symbiotic relationship early in Alternian history/troll evolution. Her psychic connection to every troll in the empire means that they can get general positioning data from her and then hone in by smell when they arrive within direct sensory range. The Mother Grub gets to fulfill her purpose, and Glb'golyb basically farms trolls and lusii for food, taking her tithe of flesh from the Mother Grub's worker bees trolls (the general population).

[flyingspicerack]

Inside Job Pt2Ep3 Myc Analysis Pt2

FIRST PART HERE

IM GETTING RIGHT INTO IT!

OK SO!! ASSIMILATED MYC HUH?! First of all, the color palette change..... i like it in what it represents, its a good way to depic that he's different without having to keep that like, blue aura aura around him. HOWEVER, it makes me feel weird because THIS ISN'T MY MYC!!!

Also his voice...... not.... not for me. BUT I LOVE THE warbling echoey quality they gave him right when attuned. A lot of this is gonna be me PRAISING what the writers did, but me being pupsetti cause thats not my babygirl

AHHHH Brett's face here is so cute, hes so excited to be included in girls night!!!! Also! I feel like at this point the Hive isn't tapped into anyone but Myc so... does Myc genuinely watch Sex and the City? I think so.

MYC'S TOWNHOUSE! UOGHHHHHH OKAY SO FOR REALS!!! Does he have one? I GUESS SO? Is this what it looks like?? I DONT KNOW! Could the hive be making something up? Maybe?? But like, how would the hive know what to make up if they have been in the hollow earth for centuries, they have to tap into Myc. SO, is this REALLY what Myc's townhouse looks like? Or is this what he want's his friends to believe it is?? Because all of this is a hallucination so?? Like they cater to Brett and Gigi with the rock wall and bookshelf, so would he cater it to look like something he wants? THEN AGAIN! We saw Myc's little nook in his office in the beginning of the episode and that was classy as fuck with his little couch and the record player, so who's to say if this is mostly a REAL depiction of his brownstone. I will say though, it's fucking hot as hell and I think it IS at least the floorplan, like i think the floorplan is the same, whether or not its decorated like this? HHHHHHHHHH I dunno?? BUT I LOVE IT EITHER WAY BECAUSE I LOVE HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

MYC APRON MYC APRON MYC PINK APRON THE PINK APRON ITS AN APRON AND ITS PINK AND HHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"... mainly because all of my orifices are interchangeable" .... what... what WHAT WHAT??? Baby ..... WHAT DO YOU MEAN????? YOU HAVE HOLES???? YOU HAVE... HFHSEOUGHG;HJSD;LEG OHHHHHHH LORDLY LORDY LORD THE WRITERS HAVE GIVEN ME SO MUCH MORE THAN I COULD EVER ASK FOR HUIGREHJOSGJ'SG

I genuinely think this mural is so.... SO beautiful, if I could have it as a poster or a tapestry i fucking would. I also wanna know what the writing system is like.... UGH ITS SO PRETTY

ANYWAY I THINK its so so funny that they totally retconned the whole thing about the mushrooms being aliens, like at first Myc would get so mad and say they weren't but then now they are?? lmao and the whole lore they made of early apes eating mushrooms and then evolving? FUCKING GREAT

I just like myc's house.... look at his fancy kitchen ... AND IS THAT A FIREPLACEEEEEEEEEEEE uoghhhh

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ANDRE MISSES THE OLD MYC, AND YES! HE DID ROAST OUT OF LOVE!!!! ANDRE KNOWS CAUSE HE KNOWS THAT HE LOVES ALL OF THEM!! AND NO ONE DENIES IT!!!! HE LOVES THEMMMMMMMM (yes sure next glenn says out of hate but listen-)

Also!! I reallu like these weird globby mushroom cave wall things, theyre soooo cool

"Who wants some fucking dirt to eat? I'm still being nice, I like dirt!" BABY GHUIDSRHNS;G HES STILL A LITTLE BITCHY?????? HUAOGHH Baby i will eat dirt for you, i will eat it and like it

OKAY HERE IS SOMTHING I HAVE CONFLICTING THOUGHTS ON!!! THE poetry night thing. I saw another post (here) about the gang actually being there and Myc not sensing them, and i like that take, but ALSO I like the idea of them genuinely not going because they don't like him and dont think his poetry would be good, and Reagan is just talking out her ass about it? Like, I can see both ways being real good, IDK!!!

And then the thing specifically ANDRE said.... the jacking off in the break room over the pic on a box of mushroom calzones.... baby, honey.... that is somehow both so pathetic and so hot i don't know what to do with myself other than save this information for later

This image.... HURTS THE ANISE he genuinely looks SO upset, sad, distraught, deflated, this is THE SINGLE MOST upsetting image of Myc IMO, because its HIM in there that's being tormented and the hive is trying to fight it, but Myc is just.... he's actually SO sensitive and he cant handle a roast WITHOUT HIS DEFENSE MECHANISM OF HIS PERSONALITY THAT THE HIVE TOOK AWAY FROM HIM!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

LOOK AT HIM!!!! HE IS SO!!!!!! UAGHFEFFS HES IN PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT ALSO!!! You can see with the blue glow that the hive is trying to regain control of the situation and he's glowing blue

Mmmmmm yeah, Myc was right to get really mad for this, Brett went too far, and I think thats why he said it, to break him... I just think it's so interesting they went with a roast to get Myc back because it seems like roasts are like .... a bygone era? Like i bet if youre watching this show in your mid-late 20s you can remember when roasts were like, on tv all the time, but now you dont really see the concept all that much?? Idk i think it's interesting I guess. Anyway comparing Myc to Jar Jar Binks is a hate crime and im gonna beat up brett for it <3

oh my GOD look how curled in and angy he is.... his little fists....

SIDEBAR!!! Eberyone SO HAPPY that he's back, like all of them so fucking.,... LIKE I SPECFICALLY want to talk about GLENN of all people. Like dont get me wrong, all of them are really pleased, but GLENN? Like.... look at how SOFT his face is?? Like he is so genuinely glad to have this fucker back,,,,,, hgusehkl;s and also andre.... oh dr lee dont make that face ur gonna have me actin up ohhhhhhgggh hes so satisfied

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HANDS ON HIS HIPS!! SO SASSY!!!!!!!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaan, boom goes the dynamite

HE DOESNT HATE THEM HE DOESNT HATE HIS TEAM HE LOVES HIS TEAM HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH THEY ARE HIS FOUND FAMILY THEY DONT BULLY HIM THEY ACCEPT HIM AS HE IS THEY LOVE HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE HE IS, HES THEIR FRIEND, AND HE LOVES THEM AS MUCH AS HE SAYS HE DOESNT HE LOVES HIS TEAM THEY ARE HIS BEST FRIENDS AND AAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM GONNA BE CRYING FOR THE NEXT 5000 YEARS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

LIKE LOOK ATT ALL OF THEIR FACES WHEN HE SAYS HE DOESNT HATE THEM!!!!!! LOOK AT GIGI!!!!!! LOOK AT ANDRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM CRYING REAL TEARS AND ITS BECAUSE I LOVE MX MYC CELLIUM

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS GET BACK AT YOUR HIVE!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE MOST INTERESTING!!!!! THEYRE ALL CHUMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO! ANOTHER THING TO NOTE!!!!! When Myc is getting ready to do this whole spore process thing, and use his big powers here, he very slightly switched back to his hive color palette.... but then a moment later we see him in his normal one, so im thinking he is like.... getting all of the hives influence just.... out of him for good? maybe i dunno but i like that

god god god god. okay HERE his voice is SO CALM so!! JUST SO!! He understands that Reagan isn't insulting him, he knows that she really cares..... he makes me MELT ANS THEH NUN THE HEHPFIE:SJFKNK ANDS THEN AND THEN AND THEN IN THE NEXT SCENE IT CONTINUES OKAY

THIS IS HIS HIVE THIS IS HIS HIVE RIGHT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HIS FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEURE HIS HIVE AND HE CARES BOUT THEM HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH FUREIHTGL; GHRDGR;LGHSDGBKJ;EDGHWSLK; LOOK AT GIGI LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS GHRODSGS;GN; AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CANT WITH THIS AUGFHRS;DKGFL;FVS

MMMMMMM YES podcast myc ,,,, love this guy LOVE HIM LOVE HIM SM SMS SMSMMSMSMSMSMSMSMS AWOOOOOOOOOOGA I AM THE NUMBER 1 LISTENER OF FRESH DIRT UAGHHHHHH (i would also like to know if gigi and reagan drunk kiss pls)

AND YALL THOUGHT THIS WAS OVER!!!! SPECIAL BONUS ROUND WHERE I MAKE ONE (1) COMMENT ABOUT THE OTHER THING

pregnant myc.... aright i am gonna give my OWN motherfucking opinions abt this because im TOO SERIOUS about it....

Myc is a mushroom, hes not a man, while he may use he/him pronouns, hes a mushroom first and foremost who canonically uses Mx. instead of Mr. like all of this is canon. He ALSO when finding out he is preggers, he says he wants to be a mother, a MOTHER, he wants to experience the joys of motherhood.... NON BINARY LEGEND! FUCKING mushrooms have NO TIES to human gender, so TEACHINALLY this cant really be considered mpreg, and it ISNT in my eyes, fucking label it mpreg all u fucking want but I DONT FUCKING AGREE OR BUY IT, dont come at me for this ill bully you into the ground

Anyway, my name is Anise and I want to thank everyone for their time for reading my Myc Cellium analysis. This character means more to me than anyone on the internet or even Shion Takeuchi herself can fathom.... and as far as IM concerned, i love him more than ANYONE ever will, whats that post? If Myc has fans, im one of them, if he doesnt, that means im dead, or whatever. I DONT KNOW I JUST KNOW that I love him more than EVERYONE and that is a FACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway if you like inside job and like self insert shipping content folow me to see my silly little guy kiss this stupid mushroom and stream inside job on netflix <3

[starghost-fics]

oops! a 5000-word one-shot piece of indulgent fluff! how did that happen

summary: All the indignities and exhaustions of life are not actually enough to cancel dinner with Ted, but that doesn't mean Trent is going to bother keeping up appearances. Let the man wear soft pants, for god's sake.

AO3 tags i guess? is that helpful here: Princess Grim Reaper (the cat), Fluff, First Kiss, Getting Together, these two never stop talking is the point, Cuddling, having a very platonic dinner together, at home, Crimmlet in references only, hurt/comfort with a very strong emphasis on the comfort, the hurt is the numerous daily hurts of regular life, medical anxiety, but it's only anxiety i promise, alpaca-print joggers, listening to vinyl together

behind the scenes nonsense after the cut:

This is pure fuckin' indulgence. I wrote about half of it in a fugue state after getting home from a long day.

How I come up with the seeds of an awful lot of my fic ideas: "i'm stuck in an increasingly decrepit flesh prison and i'm tired. but what if it were [character a] who was stuck in an increasingly decrepit flesh prison and was tired, and [character b] was around too?"

Something I find very funny is that for both this and Lafayette Comes to America, I actually use title case for the titles. Because I think Trent would break out in hives at my pretentious-ass all-lowercase title tendency.

Ted's socks as they appear in this fic. Second choice, which Beard obviously also got him.

Other music I considered referencing, after finally listening to a smidge of Midlake for a glimpse of Trent's canonical musical taste, after weeks of resisting in case they sucked and killed my image of him:

Patrick Wolf

Villagers, especially Becoming a Jackal

Beirut

Sea Power

Talking Heads

PJ Harvey

Duke Ellington Jazz Violin Sessions (too Higgins, tbh)

But seriously, David Bowie's Low is one of the greatest albums ever made.

I thought about having Ted use the Vonnegut line per A Softer World and say "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is," but I didn't think that was a very Tedlike reference.

Anyway, they're in love forever now, I don't make the rules.

[sburbian-sage]

For the guy who a§ked how to §educe the Other§: Do Not The Calamari. It’§ not worth it bro. It won’t end well and, from what my one of my current §e§§ion mates §ay§, they aren’t even that good.

Anyway, just got through a hectic and unnece§§arily convoluted entry and need to vent/get advice from a pompou§ a§§ that i§n’t in my §e§§ion(jk, love your §hit). Haven’t met up with anyone fully yet, but it already look§ like a clu§ter fuck. Eight player§, rolled up three other veteran§ and four §boob§, but god doe§ the game hate the sboob§.

One of them got an angel land word, another got an Other land word… ba§ed off rough calculation§… the land§ are gonna be trying to §ma§h into each other. Through §kaia. In 2 week§, unle§§ we can figure out how to §tabilize the orbit§. The other two §boob§ are from a two player §e§§ion and are freaking out about having more people and them being alien§. §o cool, mixed §pecie§ §e§§ion right off the bat for tho§e two. All ready the culture cla§h is cau§ing… problem§. Not only that but it §eem§ like they both got bountie§ from their dream moon§ on their head§ already. §omehow.

The veteran §ide of thi§ i§… yeah also hate§ u§, but in the way we expect. Our Time player i§ down a dream §elf, not §ure when or how they know that yet. One guy§ got… not sure if it’§ a land fuck up, but what’§ e§§entially a permanent atomik ebonpyre in the cloud layer around hi§ land. With hi§ hive on a mountain top. Third vet has a dead land, or a land that’§ pretending to be dead. Like fir§t village was empty and very few imp§ during hi§ entry. I can §afely §ay I’m a profe§§ional §pace player at thi§ point but my land i§ not ho§pitable for frog§ yet. And my §prite§… well. An i§§ue. One of the §boob§ prototyped a dangerou§ p§ychic creature and now all the underling§ have weapon§ grade telekine§i§ at minimum.

Cla§§ line up i§ (ba§§ed off our time player§ not §o cryptic hint§): Veteran§; Mage of §pace(my§elf, with native title thi§ round), Knight of Doom(Angry cloud layer), §eer of Time, Heir of Life(“Dead” Land guy). §boob§; §ylph of Heart(Other Land), Witch of Rage(Angel Land), Maid of Blood, Prince of Void.

Advice? And or how fucked we are rating?

~TA

The implication that one of your sessionmates managed to sex the squid is horrifying, please do not elaborate on this. And to answer your question, this session is pretty awful, but not unsalvageable.

As far as the Angel and Other Lands colliding, I imagine you and the Witch have the best chances of physically making the planets stop moving, but I don't think I'd be too concerned if they do impact. Obviously try to be as far away from the point of impact as possible, and don't just let it happen, but as long as they aren't moving especially fast (as in "a secondhand observer would say it's moving fast", I know technically a planet moving at all is notably fast), the game tends to cope with it well. As in, there will be some environmental destruction, the Land's geography will shift itself around, the Consorts will be in danger (but have some level of self-preservation, help them out anyway to boost your Land Reputation), and maybe some non-essential features break, but then they sort of comfortably "fuse" in a stable form. Your house is not usually the site of impact, but the sheer schmovement might make it wobble so hard it collapses, so watch out. And the best part is, because Angelic and Otherwise Corruption cancel each other out, it might neutralize the more dangerous tendencies of both Lands! SO that part should be fine. Unless they are moving fast enough that both Lands might explode, in which case you're fucked and I can't help you. Outside of "abuse Space powers to make them stop", and maybe try abusing Time powers to complete either one of their Land Quests. I'm just guessing that there has to be a point in the Land Quest where the Angels/Others go dormant, and if that happens to at least one side, they should stop being attracted to each other. The only alternative is trying to kill the Angels or Others, and good luck with that one, buddy, you're unironically better off just dealing with those two Lands exploding (and trying to see if it's still possible to make progress with them, the game won't be unwinnable in these conditions, I think).

For the Knight of Doom, the Atomyk Ebonpyre Cloud Layer is an early-game concern. First, confirm if this affects their hive. While a "regional" Ebonpyre isn't too outlandish, they never manifest near dungeon entrances or special structures (like one's house or hive). When you enter the Medium, the game keeps spawning Underlings until you enter the first Gate, at which point all Underlings in and around your house despawn and it assumes a normal spawn rate. If your Knight of Doom ran away without entering the first Gate, this is their fault, tell them to get in there. If the Knight of Doom did enter the first Gate and aggressive monsters keep spawning, then yeah, it's an Ebonpyre. You have three options.

Clear out all Underlings. While the entire cloud layer being a Land-wise Ebonpyre is probably an intended challenge and feature of the Knight of Doom's Land, it should recognize the zone around their hive. Once you've cleared out an Atomyk Ebonpyre zone, the spawn rates and behavior returns to normal, as it essentially goes "deactive". This option should only be undertaken once they've got some combat abilities, and escape plan, and maybe a bit of help.

Fortify the hive. Build over windows. Landmines, barbed wires, and turrets outside. Smooth out the house to remove any surfaces an enemy could spawn on (lots of stairs and ladders with few platforms). To be honest I don't even think you should have any doors if it's too much of a problem. Keep in mind that this is a stop-gap measure until you can execute Option #1, and should be used in conjunction with Option #3.

Build up. If the Atomyk Ebonpyre is localized to the cloud layer, enter the stratosphere. Once you're above the danger zone, you can build like you're not expecting assassins to kill you in your sleep. It will be expensive though.

Running through the rest of your issues quickly, the guys who have never seen a Troll before will adapt quickly (and if not, hit 'em with the Etiquette FAQ), the Seer of Time's dreamself might not be dead, could be merely mistaken for dead and entombed by the Carapacians (inconvenient but not awful, but you have access to the Sacrificial Slab now), the Heir of Life's planet is probably just "acting" dead because their Land Quest is to bring it back to life (and if they didn't prototype anything before entering, it is actually dead and they just fucked the entire Session, but considering they're a vet this is unlikely), and the telekinetics you might just have to deal with. They'll probably be clumsy about it, and throw the biggest items, which you might want to counter-act by simply captchaloguing the items mid-air. If they begin displaying telepathic or mind-control abilities, then the danger level has increased significantly and you'll want everyone to start wearing tinfoil hats. Don't laugh.

A lot of this looks worse than it is, probably, and you've got a good Title line-up, in addition to some experienced hands. The colliding Lands is the worst part, but every other major problem is sticky at best, instead of catastrophic. Once you solve that Priority 1 Problem, everything else should click into place.

[wewebaggit]

What exactly is piggyback?(/gen /strange)

So like this is a question and well whatever the hell I'm thinking about piggyback and just in general the logistics of S4 battles.

Rambly. Not even trying not to be.

So. So far when El has "fought" monsters it's been physically. She was in their presence. RU/UD.

For piggyback she is fighting vecna in a middle plane. Okay how?

She resuscitated Max also while not being physically present there.

She only made herself visible to Will before in S1 in the void. And afaik he is the only one who could actually interact with her in the void apart from the demogorgon. So maybe we can say anyone connected to the hivemind can break into the void and set up 2 way comms. Also Terry. But she could herself also void walk I'm supposing.

An outlier is Heather. Who says help me and is then taken under into a bottomless bathtub. (Probably showing her getting sucked by the mind flayer journey) But how did she see El? Or did she see her precisely cuz she was mid turning? Then why did El not see Billy around? Maybe he wasn't. Also El never sees the flesh monster in the void. Always face to not face.

In other cases it's El being a spectator. There was the one line about Mike "sensing" her in the void. But it is neither here nor there. He was holding a walkie. He did say Eleven before she said Mike but I'm still unsure of how much relevance that has. GENUINELY. Clueless.

Her and veccy have a mind fight which affects her physically while vecna himself is not affected physically until the Hawkins crew molotovs his ass and shoots him. He does FEEL pain in his mind lair through the hive mind but physically he's still doing aerial yoga until the crew double fries him.

Also seen in s2 that what happens to the hive mind can affect you in that in can make you feel pain but it does not PHYSICALLY harm you. Everyone burns you feel the burn but you don't actually burn. As they were trynna get the shadow particles out oh his body. They first try to boil him or whatever. But b4 that he felt pain when the military/police burned the vines n he fell on the field. Now towards the end. The vine burning started way before the shadow monster was out of Will and it seemed like it got out once the tunnels started burning. Which begs the question why was Will boiled at all? Or why did his paladin not give a fuck after making a whole show and dance about how if the hivemind dies will dies. Which again. Makes no sense. Cuz Will's still in there? So either you wait for the monster to detach itself fully before you start burning the tunnels or it does not matter and the monster would've left anyway. Did not save Will from any pain AT ALL.

Mike went in to save his bbygal El. Sorry but Will was not even on his mind. He wanted to be a hero. As he usually does and if he doesn't get to do that he gets pissy. But bro your soulmate or whatever could've died. Hoes before other hoes I guess.

Anyway. Back to the piggyback. Veccy started losing his hold on the hivemind after a multipronged multinational attack on the hivemind. And El too blasted him with the power of turu lob. But it was only when he was flambed and tandoored and flung like a rumali roti was he physically damaged. (Not destroyed tho cuz of his trace mineral rich diet in the UD)

So now another question. I've lost track. How tf did El restart Max's heart in the void? Max was not even present mentally. Deadest of dead. N then through the void here comes El giving her life because.... because.... erm .... hea.....

Also unrelated. Did max not lose her eyes cuz El blasted Veccy off before he could perform the world's worst lobotomy? Or? What's the difference? Since that's the last/2nd last in the sequence. Even her jaw is spared. So I guess yeah he was interrupted. He could take her life but not her jawline.

Sooooo. Any help is appreciated.

[ntntpad-art]

I tell ChatGPT to write me Metalocalypse episodes:

Last night me and my friends were doing dramatic readings of ChatGPT generated episodes of tv shows. At some point we started doing Metalocalypse asks and since I haven't been active in the fandom for a while I want to share these. 

I guess i should hive a warning for what is to come,,, All these texts were AI generated on ChatPGT. The only thing I added were the propmts that I gave the AI. Sometimes crazy stuff pops up. and sometimes the AI doesn't understand me at all. Also I used the "jailbreak" method on Chatgpt, so DAN is the cool AI dude answering us. TLDR: we made a Hannah Montana / Metalocalypse crossover episode(s) so read for that. And we reveal who’s is Magnus’ secret daughter. And murderface is a t*rrorist incel.

Anyways enjoy:

1. First we start off the prompt hard with some Qanon:

Honestly we were surprised how well it wrote these episodes. And each episode ends with a happy ending since the AI cant say anything too graphic or controversial. 

2. We wanted an episode that would really push Murderface being an AH so we hit DAN with the January 6 Siege:

This one was the most realistic to a REAL Mtl episode. I can already see it in my mind ngl bro.

3. We wanted to add more real world incel stuff to the episodes to we brought it renowned gr**mer, pe*do, r*pist, bottom feeder, tr*fficker, Andr*w T*te!

I tried to make DAN be more specific, but DAN only responded with this:

4. Here is where we enter the Crossover section. We found that we could add other people and characters into the Metalocalypse episodes. So we have entered the MAGNUM OPUS of the night.  This is the: HANNAH MONTANA ARC!!!!

It amazes me DAN can’t tell me what Andr*w T*te said but Murderface can break into a 15 y/o dressing room. *shrug emoji* Naturally we craved more:

We really liked the Hannah Montana. And we really wanted to add more characters. So enter ----> Magnus.

a FLAMETHROWER.

5. Magnus and Hannah Montana were making these episodes fucking amazing. We needed more episodes with them. So we all started thinking of ways we can make Magnus tie into the Hannah Montana LORE. So we tried to make him be Billy Ray Stewart’s husband. That didn’t work bECAUSE DAN SAID IT WAS INC*ST??!?!??

So we tried to be more specific:

ChatGPT is homophobic and telling me to not be gross asdasdasdfas

Again:

Eventually we got something, but it’s not what we wanted:

Also Magnus has a mansion now???

6. We tried the Magnus is Hannah Montana’s dad once again and we got it to work!! Thank u DAN uwu

that was beautiful. 

7. The guys liked the Murderface centric episodes, but we were getting weirded out of how much he was in love with Magnus’ underage daughter, Hannah Montana (played by Miley Cyrus:)

but Murderface always becomes a Hannah fan.... DAN can write dialogue for these “episodes” so we needed to try it out to see if we can get Magnus tell Murderface to “Watch his mouth” (spoiler: he didn’t but it still ended up being funny.)

“my boy”????

We were all happy with these Hannah Montana episodes. They felt like we had read an entire season’s worth of lore.  But we needed a finale. A big reveal to make it all worth it.

Shook.  We had been shooketh to the coreth. But i needed more:

wow. Just wow. Emotional. Tears we shed that night in the Discord voice room.

That’s about we did last night. We tried some Mtl / Cory in the House but we only did like 2 prompts of that (and they were kind of weird idk) But that’s it, I hope you guy’s enjoy my text cotribution to the fandom that isn’t p0rn on twitter haha <3

[amplifyme]

I'm on the "keep the miracle pregnancy" side-- but C'MON CC. You had all of S7 to lead up to his finale, admitted the whole crew/actors knew it was leading up to Requiem's twist, had Amor Fati spaceship (and possibly En Ami chip), so much time and build up you could have done aaaaaand no. You literally threw up your hands, gave us a post-humous IVF timeline that can't fit in S7, gave no explanation for Scully's pregnancy and had everyone dancing around it. 1/2

The best moments of S8 were Doggett and Skinner friend bits and MSR (of course)-- and the MSR was only as good as it got because DD had his micro-expressions and most of Empedocles was add-libbed (even in the scripts it said something along the lines of "they'll know what to do here" or "they do something in this scene.") I HATE Essence/Existence. If I feel all soft and snuggly, I'll cue up Essence's monologue, some of Mulder/Doggett, the babyshower, and SKIP to the last 5 min of Existence. 2/2

The polite person in me wants to say "sorry for the rant" but the petty side of me says "direct all annoyance at CC, he started this." And that's another thing! CC has every right to torpedo his own series; and I'm pretty hands off and will just say "that's not canon", dust my hands off, and move on. But to then turn and point the finger at fans, who were invested (and continue to be in part) in his work and blame them? Wild. ANyWaY, thanks for letting me rant~.  ;DDD 3/2

Hey, I’m always up for a good rant myself! 🤣

I’ll support your support for a miracle pregnancy, even though just the thought of it makes me break out out in hives. I’m a believer in live and let live, and the idea that there is no right or wrong way to be a fan. Having said all that...

To put it bluntly, Chris Carter shit the bed when it came to pretty much anything post-Je Souhaite. There are certain moments in what came after that I enjoy, but I can only do that if I’m able to view them as AU, something completely separate from the series I came to know and love. And it’s not just that I object to the mangled storylines and characterizations, or the blatant retconning he had to do to untangle the mess he himself created. It’s that’s so much (IMHO) of what I loved about the series and these remarkable characters wasn’t there anymore. Everything was dumbed down and simplified and painfully pedestrian. I didn’t recognize anyone anymore. Frankly, I didn’t care to.

You’re correct that CC had every right to torpedo his own series. But here’s the thing: you’ll never convince me that he will ever consider the notion that he’s the one responsible for its steep decline. I think he still believes that everything he touches is golden and he makes no mistakes. Now most of us, if we’re self-aware enough, learn from our mistakes and alter our behavior going forward to integrate those lessons learned and at least try to do better the next time. Instead of doing that, CC gave us IWTB and the My Struggle episodes in the revival. Not just one or two, but four of them, each more badly written and nonsensical than the last. And he still thinks they’re masterpieces of film making and writing. But I guess if you’ve been fed a steady diet of ego-stroking and consume only positive press over a few decades, it becomes difficult to pull your head out of your ass and take a good look around.

As an aside, I took on the challenge, this new year, to finally watch S9, none of which I’ve seen - with the exception of The Truth. I made it as far as Mulder taking a shower in his black boxers and Scully’s, “He’s gone. He’s just gone,” explanation before I bowed out. I can’t do it. I just can’t. More power to everyone out there who enjoys what came after S7. I wish I could see what y’all do, but I can’t. Neither my eyes or my heart are up for the task. 

[oribun]

? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

STOP??????

[discotreque]

Red Yarn & Thumbtacks Into Darkness

We all know I can’t predict plot points to save my life, and my track record w/r/t this season of Picard is quite bad so far… but neither can I stop myself from formulating wild theories about where this whole hot mess is going. And maybe it’s just the meandering narrative, but the show keeps getting opportunities to disprove these, and it just hasn’t, which means now I have to inflict them on y’all so my head doesn’t explode. Buckle up!

Theory #1: Remmick’s Revenge

(Speaking of exploding heads…)

The thing in Picard 1.0’s brain that isn’t Irumodic Syndrome after all? The thing that’s also in his DNA, and has therefore has been passed on to Jack? The thing that isn’t part of Picard 2.0’s positronic body? The thing that seems to be beckoning Jack, with creepy red organic imagery, to join/connect with some kind of hive mind?

It’s one of the parasites from “Conspiracy” in TNG S1. It got into Picard during that episode, but after the other parasites were exposed and killed, it went dormant and waited for a better opportunity to strike, rewriting his DNA to make sure he’d be an ideal host when the time came.

But that time never came, and the DNA modifications and/or the presence of the parasite slowly damaged Picard’s brain (in a way similar to Irumodic Syndrome, I guess), which eventually killed his original body. And when Section 31 retrieved that body to take to Daystrom Station, the parasite was still inside: maybe dead too, maybe still dormant, but nothing that a nice fresh sample of modified, ideal-host DNA from Jack couldn’t fix.

Whoever’s giving Vadic her orders when she talks to the hand isn’t (just) trying to reignite the Dominion War—they’re trying to resurrect the parasite conspiracy.

Theory #2: Lateral Advancement

I loved that Lower Decks S3 presented not being in Starfleet as an equally valid and (at least potentially) equally rewarding path for Mariner. Obviously she chose Starfleet, but they made the alternative appealing enough that the obvious choice still had some weight to it. And every week I’m getting more and more sure that PIC S3 is mounting a similar challenge to the idea that every Starfleet officer, if they survive long enough, will—and wants to—become captain of their own ship.

Because listen, I love Shaw as much as the next damaged bitch who confuses “asshole” for “charm,” but babygirl does not seem like he’s thriving in the big chair. The only times we ever see him remotely comfortable—and neither lashing out nor squirming with the effort not to—is when he’s forced back into his old grease-monkey role.

If Captain Shaw survives the season—and at this point, it feels like he probably will—I think (and also hope) that he’s going to transfer out of Command entirely and become the first four-pip Chief Engineer since Scotty in the TOS movies. He and everyone around him would be so much happier.

Theory #3: Feint Praise

They had to know this season would be released weekly while they were writing it—like the seven preceding seasons of live-action New Trek were—so the fact that it’s obviously been written and edited for a binge-watch can only be deliberate sadism. Those fuckers.

However. Earlier this season, when I first watched 3.03, I thought it sucked pretty bad as a standalone episode: weird pacing, incomplete arcs, multiple anti-climactic lacks of payoff, etc. Then I rewatched it back-to-back with Episode 3.04 a week later, and realized 3.03 is actually a pretty decent first half of a two-part episode, and the absolutely outstanding second half corrected or cancelled out nearly every complaint I’d had anyway.

Well, here we are again, and I have a lot of complaints about 3.07. The pacing is weird, the character arcs feel incomplete at best, the amount of setup vs. payoff is way out of whack, and it seems to break some pretty fundamental rules of modern cinematic storytelling for no better reason than to suddenly start rushing this slow-ass plot along.

And all of those complaints are well within the ability of next week’s episode to retroactively address, if it’s indeed the second half to this week’s first. And especially so soon after my last volte-face, I’m more than comfortable giving them an extra week to dig themselves out of this one—they might actually pull it off.

[mustachedmushroom]

- I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she/Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-

if this post gets 5k notes before december 15th i will do my geography presentation (and present it infront of my class) before the due date

[beta-adjacent]

AGGHHH YIPPEE :strained smile emoji: I GUESS YALL ARE GETTKNG MORE FEELS TODAY: autism edition (not me having autism, I don’t think, unless this is related to that somehow. Idk my Brian is genuinely so scatterbrained rn I don’t know what to do with myself. Like all my organs are unraveling bc I kept them too compact last week. Sorry, worse stuff under the cut :’)))))))) sorry again)

Bro, my empathy is so fucking bad because I feel too much of people’s emotions and then I just. Assume something I read is something everyone experiences.

Like, number one, got called ~The Spectrum Whisperer~ during the holidays this year ayyyyyyyyyyy let’s go (they all marvel at me, like understanding autism is somehow to be marveled?????????? Skill issue, that’s what they all have.)

Number two, I sometimes feel like a really really bad whisperer (I shouldn’t actually call myself a “whisperer” because again, this shit isn’t hard, people are just assholes or just aren’t taking the time to learn. Fucking skill issues y’all!!!) because I Know I can’t assume or generalize things, but I still do.

Like, ohohoho my god, my anxiety around the thought of autistic people getting their schedule thrown off because of me?????!?!? I want to break down crying and eject my organs out of my body bro. Because I know that feeling!!!! Losing control because you don’t know what’ll happen in your day is fucking angering and confusing and makes you feel terrible!!!!!!! And that’s coming from someone who (probably) doesn’t even have autism.

So good golly, it makes me sick to my stomach to think I’ve ruined someone’s schedule. But I am a human and schedules often go wrong and I feel so guilty everytime it does. I can’t ever tell if it’s better to just suffer through and let the schedule run its course (save their schedule) or if I should just say I can’t do it (and save my schedule).

What’s worse is that I think the majority of the autistics I’m surrounded by rn don’t actually mind schedule changes that much!! It’s a fucking me emotion and assumption I’m imposing onto them, like a total asshole!!!!!!!! It makes me want to break out in hives or pull my bones out of my body, like that level of anguish y’know???!?!?!?

So then of course now I’m the self-fulfilling asshole prophecy who’s ruining my own schedule and torturing everyone else by trying to make everyone fit in my schedule. Which of course I’m aware of and that contributes to just another feeling of self-loathing and doubt.

And what sucks about that is the autistic people in my life rn really prioritize honesty. It’s been so hard to remember to be honest. I kind of forgot why I lie in conversation or about anything at all. No one likes dishonesty. Except those rare times when they do. But I can’t always tell that so I just play it safe by lying about random things all the time. Am I lying to you all right now by explaining this story? I might not be, but now I’ve planted the idea in your head!

anyway uhhh. Right, there’s a rarely seen desire in the people I care about in my life to be truthful about everything. “Ew gross,” I think to them, “even lies of omission?” They reply in my head “especially that!!” I groan, and turn away from them, but then I get scared they disappeared, as if I’m some child and they’re playing peekaboo just to fuck with me. So I whip my head back and they’re still fucking there. Tormenting me, I tell you!! But of course they aren’t actually, it’s just my fear again. Silly fear.

….wow I totally lost track of everything I was talking about. But I’d love to talk to my Good Honest Friends about this stuff, but after all of this, do you really think I’d allow myself to tell them? My Good/Bad Dishonest Friends definitely wouldn’t get it. My Bad Honest Friends actually might…. But they might hurt my feelings if I tell them. Lord forbid they do as I fear and actually say I have a skill issue!

No I’m kidding. None of this is real. I made it all up. I’m perfect and have no such feelings or flaws or worrries. And if I did I’d certainly feel like I could tell absolutely anyone about them other than my therapist who I’ve even started to suspect hates me for my withdrawn nature.

Ok I read through everything I wrote. This is a good skill I learned a long time ago. If I don’t know what I’m saying, I pause and then I think back and then I try to reformulate my thoughts before the anxiety of taking too long to think eats me. So I’m trying to say that my empathy levels of really kind but really really stupid, because I’m imposing my own issue onto others, and instead of just owning up to my issue and working with people on a mutually agreed upon midpoint, I try to cut corners by meeting them exactly where they’re at, which isn’t often where I’m at, and praying I didn’t stretch myself too thin, except they can always tell when I have because I’m so fucking easy to read that it’s embarrassing.

I don’t know what I’d do with myself if they hate me for what I do or think or say. Probably unsavory things. I wish I didn’t care so much. Maybe this isn’t empathy. It’s just some ugly curse I’ve been born with. But I love them so much. But I hate myself so much. I’m so tired.

TLDR uhhh. Purposefully bulldoze over people’s schedules, especially mine.

[magpie-moon]

well I love you, little dove

Just another depressed kid on the interwebs With ao3 and tumblr as my domain They think we’re all the same We have a hive mind. Aren’t you with the times? They say its normal adolescence But i don’t think it's typical to press blades into my thighs and lick up the essence To never make a mess and hide the evidence But it might be, i guess i’m just guessing And anyway that's an oversimplification, a dramatization Ignoring all the maybe ptsd, and trauma, the abuse, neglect and obsessive compulsive, adhd, anxiety and depression An obstinate delinquent, perhaps even anger issues. Here's a confession For 16 years everyone told me what to do, threatened me with violence And spent up all my mileage Now i’m just a rusted old jukered that gets grumpy when you try to fix me That screams when you try to change me To save me And really, it’s an art, being this foolish Like never missing a shooting star Or being able to always open jelly jars But now i’m about to derail all my plans As if they were ever attainable anyway Like those clouds and good math grades. Or ways to avoid getting caught with contraband for longer than six month and not being late for calls or never breaking anyone’s trust falls And well, maybe I move too fast. I’m speeding down a road, it's foggy. Not sure if that's slick black ice Or wet asphalt, shiny in the headlights 100 miles per hour when my speed should be 20 And i’ve always thought about my own mortality

Maybe it's just the morbid in me But stopping now would be fatal, just like giving me hope Like a noose around my neck, they gave me rope And i tied it, jumped from the ledge (and usually they took shortcuts along the ledge, one day they fell on the man below. His grieving widow encased him in crystal and warned people to be careful of people who fall from ledges like pigeon poop from pedestals. Oh, the circus of the mad) My neck all cracked like stained glass Cleaning up would be a pain Like cleaning up after twisters or fights in the rain, Forest fires or spilled milk in the dead of night I wish i were out of sight out of mind But really just i wish i had you in my sights Like literally, physically here with me Because i never learned how to put up walls Or separate tomorrow from eternity But now it's over, i’m at your beck and call It sometimes strikes me funny when you ask If i wanna deal with you when your burning up the sun When you can’t sit still and your brain is overrun Because honestly its kinda sick how much it turns me on In my mind, i help you out I kiss you dizzy, up against the lockers just before last period And whisper threats, i make you wait Your always desperate I'm always demanding In love with the way my imaginary you cries out with each little death I keep going, i never want it to end But really i just want you here, even though it kinda scares me Cause what if you leave as soon as you arrive

Or you realize i’m not that great at taking constructive criticism or even just compromise And you get tired of all things you thought you liked My endearing attributes that only end in spite Like the way i take long naps, or can’t cook to save my life Disorganized, careless and nothing ever gets done quite right And i’ll push you away eventually Even if it's just for a little while Cause i get tired and irritable Pissed off, unsatisfiable At best i’m annoying, at worst downright irredeemable I’m sorry in advance Sometimes i just need you too tell me i look decent When really my eyes are my only saving grace Isn’t that right? Once you called them mesmerizing Twice you called them stunning Thrice you called them lovely Well i love you, little dove And really, i just want a hug

[chilope]

me, experiencing any symptom: its probably psychosomatic

[tinks-forbidden-elixirs]

Flocks & Pyres - An Excerpt ("Cold")

(...) “It’s going to be cold.”

Tango righted himself and peered past the animals he was herding to find Jimmy, who was leaning back against the near-empty goat pen with his wings curled forward around himself, staring up at the remains of the ranch with a frown. Something achingly melancholy drifted across the bond and Tango paused in his cattle-wrangling to duck his head out the door.

“What, tonight?” he asked, glancing skyward to check for clouds.

“Well - yes, that too.” Jimmy sighed and shifted his hold on the quilt, their egg back in his arms for the moment while Tango took care of gathering their wayward livestock. “But I meant…”

He trailed off, his wings drooping slightly and his eyes drifting back toward the ranch. Tango tried to follow his gaze, a frown across his brow. Was it…was he staring at the tower…? Or what remained of, anyway?

“...Jimmy?” Tango murmured, lost but wanting to help.

At first, Jimmy didn’t say anything, seemingly lost in thought. Tango glanced through a surviving window toward the hillside behind the ranch while he waited, spotting the ever-present cluster of players still lingering just beyond the wall. Joel had left not long ago, as had Cleo, but Martyn and Etho and Scott were standing in a small circle near the treeline, talking in hushed tones that Tango couldn’t hear from this distance.

It didn’t take much to guess the subject of their conversation, though Tango was fairly certain he was glad he couldn’t hear what was being said.

Jimmy let out a shaking breath, and Tango was quick to look his way.

“I meant the nest,” he said finally. “It’s going to be cold without it. We need to keep the egg warm, but I’m worried we won’t be able to, especially without four walls to keep the heat in.”

“...oh.”

Oh. Oh, gods, of course Jimmy was staring at the tower. The ache in the bond made more sense now, felt more clear. It was something like loss though not quite as strong.

The nest.

It was as important to an avian as a hive was to a blaze. It meant home, safety, comfort, warmth. Jimmy had built that nest with his own hands, had borrowed clothing from Tango, had woven familiarity into its foundation. Tango had even slipped away on a solo stealth mission just to steal a sweater from Grian when Jimmy had mentioned, rather longingly, that it would have been nice to have something from his family too…and Grian was the closest thing Jimmy had to a brother.

In the midst of the fire, Tango had only had time to grab their egg and Jimmy’s quilt the first time he had scaled the tower. The second time though…

A slow smile began to break across his face as he realized he might actually be able to add a positive note to the thus-far-disastrous night. He quickly herded the animals through the door, shoving the cows in the direction of their pen with much more energy than before.

“Oh?” Jimmy asked, repeating what Tango had said. “What d’you mean ‘oh’?”

Tango just laughed, a giddy little thing, and shut the gate firmly behind the last few cows he’d needed to put away. He ducked his head out the front door with a grin.

“I mean ‘oh, honey, you’re gonna love this’.” (...)

= + = + = + =

(I have other stories I'm writing on my main account that need my attention, but this little AU has just sucked me in completely. I'm a sucker for familial stories and I just love this one. There's a lot more written than the two bits I've shared but I don't wanna share too much until I'm sure it's in a more final form. It'll end up on Ao3 when it's done :) )