#anyway good day up ahead hopefully working on some stuff I'm confident with at work and a friend is staying over last minute tn :-)

[phagodyke]

telling my roommate abt my friend whose best friends slash roommates ended up dating each other n another person & asked her to move out so they could live w their third partner instead of her and my roommate going wow I would never do that to [our 2 old roommates]. haha and me right. u would also never do that to me...... ur current roommate. and friend I hope. 🥹

[kteezy997]

Spree Driver// Kurt Kunkle

So i put this up on Wattpad, but i don't really think that's the platform for it, so imma put it on here and hopefully y'all like it(:

warnings: Kurt being Kurt, cursing, car sex, oral sex (male receiving), unprotected sex, sub! Kurt

word count: 2.5K

You had ordered a Spree ride. Now, you usually wouldn't but your car had broken down a few days ago and it had yet to be finished with repairs. So that meant you had to request a rideshare. You tried not to think anything of it, as people did this all the time. It usually turned out fine.

Your ride was soon confirmed by a driver named Kurt. You saw his car type, license plate, and profile picture. You saw that he was highly rated, but you weren't aware of that trick-he actually wasn't at all. But you didn't know that yet.

You saw the car pull up and the driver's side window slide down, "Hey, y/n?" called out the driver. "Yeah, you're Kurt?" "Yep, that's me. I'm your Spree driver. Get on in here." You nodded, took ahold of the door handle and hopped into the back seat.

Kurt started driving and took a moment to clarify your intended location with you. He seemed nice, just maybe a bit of an oddball. His hair was slicked down on his forehead, and he wore a bright blue shirt. You look at his face in the rearview mirror, to get a good look at him, just in case you would need to identify him later. You knew that you couldn't trust anybody in the world you lived in.

You came to realize that, under the bad hairdo, he was actually a handsome guy. Nice complexion, pretty brown eyes, and a kind face. "Hey, there's some water back there if you need it. It's pretty hot out there today." you heard Kurt say. But you weren't raised to take drinks from strangers, so you politely said, "No, I'm good. Thank you though."

He was most likely harmless, but you could never be too sure. You decided to look out the window, to help kill some time during the drive, but you noticed a camera attached to the window. "Um, excuse me, Kurt?" "Yes, y/n?" You looked ahead, and he met your eyes in the mirror, waiting for what you were going to say. You looked around and saw other cameras in various spots in the car.

"What's with the cameras?" "Ohh, yeah sorry, I hope you don't mind. They're for my protection." Okay that made sense. "Oh, I see. It's a pretty brave thing to be a Spree driver." "Yeah, totally. But it can also be fun and good for content." Kurt said confidently. "For content? What are you, like an influencer or something?" you asked, laughing.

"Well, yeah." he answered, a hint of hurtfulness in his tone. "KurtsWorld96. Ever heard of me?" "No, I don't really keep up with social media." You looked up in the mirror again, and his eyes were as big as saucers. "Seriously? Like how can you even sat that?" "I don't know maybe it's because all that stuff doesn't matter?" you retorted back at him.

"Oh? So having a social media presence means nothing to you?"Kurt was nearly shouting, just with disbelief. "I mean, maybe it does to some people, just not to me." you shrugged. "Well, sorry to say this, y/n, but if you're not documenting yourself, you basically just don't exist." he said, matter-of-factly. Kurt wasn't trying to come off as rude, he was just giving his thoughts to you. Social media and growing his audience was his entire world. It consumed him. "If that's how you feel, Kurt. We can agree to disagree, I guess."

"I guess so. I can respect your point of view as long as you respect mine." Kurt said. The car came to a stop, there were other cars all around at the stop light. traffic was built up, as it was late afternoon and people were getting off of work. "Sorry it's taking so long. I hope you're not in too much of a hurry." "Oh, no, it's all good. It's not your fault anyway." you said, looking at him in the mirror.

You looked out the window, and despite the busy city, the sun was setting, and the colors in it were beautiful. You started to forget about where you were even headed-oh that's right, meeting friends for dinner. Eh, you weren't really feeling it to begin with, but now as you looked at your driver in the mirror, you wanted so badly to change your plans.

"So, Kurt?" you said, getting his attention. "Yeah?" he responded, pressing his lips together and widening his eyes, looking so cute doing so. "You got a girlfriend or something?" He laughed, "Oh, me? No, no, y/n, I don't have a girlfriend. I don't have the time, ya know with trying to grow my following and all." "Oh, yeah I'm sure that can keep a guy busy." you said, adding, "So do you have any free time?" You watched him by scooting forward in your seat. You put your hands on the back of his seat and took in his body language.

"Yeah, that's where Spree comes in." "Well, that's still work, Kurt. I mean, don't you have any friends that you hang out with?" "Aw, yeah, Bobby Bud Lee." Kurt looked at you in the rearview mirror like he was waiting for you to recognize the name. You just stared back at him. "Oh, am I supposed to know who that is?" "You don't know Bobby Basecamp? Man, you really are disconnected, y/n." "Yeah, I guess I am."

"Do you have any friends that aren't... influencers?" Kurt chuckled, "Why are you asking so many questions?" Okay, that's a no. His face was really starting to turn red now. You smiled, feeling your own blush coming on. "I don't know. I just think you're cute is all." "Oh, really?" "Yeah, really." You leaned further forward, almost touching your mouth to his ear. "Are you gonna do anything about it, Kurt?" His face dropped upon hearing the seductiveness in your voice. He was definitely nervous.

Kurt looked over at his phone, which was secured on the dash. "Oh look, we're only two minutes away from your destination." he said, flatly. "No, I don't want to go there anymore. Take me somewhere else, Kurt." You inched even closer, "Somewhere private, where we can...talk." you slowly reached up and touched his hair gingerly. "Want to?" you asked. Kurt kept his eyes on the road and was stiff in his seat, but he said, "Yes."

He took a turn off of the main highway and drove a few minutes out of town. "It's just this old junkyard that my mom's dad used to own. So no one should find-uh, bother us out here." "Okay, cool." you said, "I mean, it's not like you're gonna kill me, are ya?"Kurt chuckled lightly as he put the car in park. He then eyed his phone, which made you suspicious, but you didn't know why.

"What was that on your phone?" you asked him. "Oh, nothing." he said looking back at you. You took his answer, not really caring, as your hormones were taking over your body. "Okay well, do you want to come back here with me?" you bit your lip after the question, trying to act all innocent. Kurt grinned and nodded frantically. "Come on." you held your hands out to him. He grabbed your hands and climbed into the back seat with you.

You couldn't stop smiling as he sat close. You could feel the heat from his body. Nonchalantly, you rubbed your thighs together. "Kurt, can I kiss you?" you asked, put your hand on his arm. "Yes, I'd really like that." he said, leaning in and closing his eyes. You took the lead, and put your hands on his face, cupping his cheeks. You leaned in, pressing your lips to his.

You opened your mouth slightly, and so did Kurt. He tasted like Monster energy drink. You swirled your tongue into his mouth and after that, he became more eager. His lips moved fast, brushing over your mouth like he was starved.

Smuttt

You put your hand on his chest, gently pushing him back a little bit. You grinned and took ahold of the bottom of your shirt, pulling it over your head and dropping it onto the floor of Kurt's car. His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. "Wow." he said, eyeing your breasts, his hands ready to reach out and touch them. He moved, and you were ready, ready to fuck without another word passed between the two of you. "Y/n, I-I can't, I just, I'm sorry."

Kurt hung his head, "I can't do this. I can't do this to you, because the truth is: these cameras aren't really for my protection." he pointed to one of the window cameras. "I'm live-streaming right now, like there are thousands of people watching by now." You were completely dumbfounded. "Are-are you serious?" "Yes, I am-I just couldn't have, I couldn't like, ya know, without you knowing that we're being watched. And I'm sorry."

"Oh, well, can you turn them off then, so we can actually do this?" you asked. Kurt sat there, doe-eyed look on his face, "Y-yeah." "Then do it and show me that the cameras are off." He did as he was told, and grabbed his phone, turning off the livestream. He turned his phone screen to you. "See? Here are all the cameras-the camera shots, and they are all off. I swear. I wouldn't make a-I wouldn't do a leaked sex tape without your permission. Because number one: it's way, way-totally wrong, and number two: it's criminal-illegal." he said, nervously nodding.

You scanned your eyes over his phone, and then looked at him. "Okay, I trust you, Kurt. Now, fuck me." you smirked, reaching behind you to unclasp your bra. You could hear his breath hitch in his throat as you dropped your bra to the floor. His mouth formed an "o" shape. He gulped, "They're so prett-so beautiful." He licked his lips. "Kurt, you can touch them, sweetie." You pushed your chest out toward him a little.

"Oh, okay." he put his hands on your breasts, gently squeezing them, your nipples peaking against his fingertips. "Mm." you whimpered. "Does it hurt?" Kurt asked, looking into your eyes. "No, no, just the opposite." You caressed his sweet face. "Do you want to fuck me, Kurt?" He tightened his palm grip on your breasts, he pressed his lips together, and let out a high pitched, "mm-hmm."

"Here, let's take your shirt off." you suggested, pulling on the hem of his shirt. He nodded and grabbed the back of his collar to help you pull the shirt over his head. Kurt had hair on his chest, and he clearly hadn't seen the inside of gym in a while, or maybe even ever. But hey, he wasn't unattractive by any means. To you, he was actually quite cute. You could feel how hard his cock was underneath you. Instinctively, your folds started to coat your panties with your arousal.

"May I?" you asked, making a small gesture to his sweatpants. "Yes-yeah, please." Kurt was obviously eager for what was to come. With a tug of his pants, his cock sprang up, free from its confinement. "Ooh, big boy." you said, biting your lip and looking at him seductively. The tip was already red, precum teasing the opening of his slit.

You swiped your tongue over it, tasting the saltiness of him. As you tucked your lips over your teeth and sheathed him, you could hear him whimpering softly. Kurt put his hand on your head, but he wasn't brave enough to apply any pressure or to guide you in any way. He was thrilled with whatever you were willing to give him. You rolled your tongue along the underside of him as your lips sucked him back and forth.

You started to moan on his cock, letting him feel vibrations from your mouth. Kurt's breath hitched again, "Oh, that's good. Fuck yeah." He spoke softly, but his fist tightened around thick strands of your hair. He swallowed and made a sound in his throat. He was groaning, saying, "oh" in hushed tones. His breath quickened into a pant. You were sucking him hard and fast.

"Oh, shit!" he called out, spurting his cum into your mouth. You swallowed him up and sucked his tip until it was clean. Kurt watched you wipe your lips, his seed glossing over them. "That was sexy, so hot, y/n." He was still panting, but there was a sense of relief about him. Like he really needed that release. "Well, if you liked my mouth," you moved onto his lap, straddling over his semi stiff cock, "you'll love my pussy."

You took his dick into your hands and spit onto the tip. Your palm lathered in the saliva and massaged him up and down. "You gonna get hard for me again, Kurt?" you teased. "Yes." he said, nodding like the most obedient student. You giggled, stroking him a little faster and as he got hard again, you said, sweetly, "Good boy." You leaned in and kissed him on the lips, he didn't even care that his spunk was still on your mouth.

Kurt's cock stood tall, and you settled onto his tip, letting him split you as you slid down his length. "Ahh, yeah." you moaned softly, closing your eyes. "No, look at me." Kurt had the tendency to stumble over his words with nervousness, but not those words. He looked you directly in the eyes, he was commanding you. You popped your eyes open, starting right into his caramel-colored irises.

He reached the pit of your insides, and it was as if you took a hit of ecstasy. He felt perfect in your pussy. You began to rotate your hips forward and Kurt put his hands on your hips and kept his eyes on you. His mouth fell open in awe as you glided further on him, and he was hitting you as deep as humanly possible. "Oh, Kurt...feels so fucking good." you cried, feeling short of breath as the moment of passion was creating a humidity inside the vehicle.

You rode him for several minutes, and Kurt was practically melting into the material of the seat underneath him. He was simply letting you have your way with him, and he was like puddy in your hands. He was panting, sweating, and moaning like a little bitch. You were sweating too, and your skin slapped against his with wet sounds. There was a mixture of both his and your sweat, as well as you arousals dripping and slipping around between you.

"I'm gonna...I'm gonna come." his speech was very labored, and his words got stuck in his throat. "Come for me, Kurt, please." you begged. "Ar-are you sure?" he asked, looking up at you with near panic, like he was about to erupt at any second. "Yes, it's fine, baby. I'm on birth control. Just let go for me, okay?" You put your hand on his face, caressing it. He grunted, closed his eyes, and with a huff, he bucked his hips and shot his warm cum inside of you.

You both panted softly, gradually trying to catch your breaths in the stuffy car. Kurt let out a small chuckle, "That was so much better than going viral could ever be."

[moon-stars01]

First Impressions

Mingyu x Reader

Author:Deko

Summary:In which Mingyu is a regular and your positive your into him.

Gene:fluff,Swearing,Romance

Rating:General Audiences

~First Impressions~

You'd developed a crush.

One, which you'd hoped was fleeting because you only ever saw him around once a week whenever he'd come into your shop.

He was peculiar in the way he carried himself, he'd nestle himself in a corner and play with a trinket he found interesting and made himself laugh on plenty of occasions.

To others, you guessed, he might look half insane laughing to himself like that – but to you, you found it rather sweet.

Sweet, because he indulged in the company of himself. So few are lucky to have enough confidence to carry themselves freely without reserve or judgement, so while he struck you as peculiar, you also found him irresistibly charming for this fact alone.

He came up to you one day and completely shocked you out of your daydream – and you shuffled to hide your book to make it look like you were actually working.

He met your eyes, "Do you make this stuff?"

He pointed around the shop, and you tried to focus on the question but your mind was more drawn to the fact that his voice did not match his pretty face. You'd always imagined him more soft spoken.

"Y-yeah. Well, no" You exhaled slowly, calming yourself down. "Some. My dad makes most of it."

Ahh, wonderfully spoken. Beautifully enunciated.

He hummed in wonder, and you saw a faint smile trace his lips for a moment, before it disappeared.

He said nothing more and began to walk out of the shop.

You gasped, not wanting him to leave. He'd finally talked to you and that's all he'd had to say? The shop was empty so now was your chance to... say something, anything!

You leaned over the wooden counter, "My name's Y/N!" you half shouted, grasping onto the edge.

Really? Your name? That was the best you could do?

He turned around, eyes wide in wonderment, before they softened at the sight of you. "I'm Mingyu. See ya."

He shoved his hands in his pockets, walking away. He used his shoulder to push open the door and left the shop without another word.

You slumped back in your chair and took your book back out from its hiding spot, and tried to focus on the words. You were sour upon him leaving, his presence alone had always made you feel giddy, and the shop suddenly felt colder without him there.

—0–0–0–0–

The next day, Mingyu came in.

This shocked you because he never came in more than once a week; you wondered what must have been so important.

Shock was evident on your face, and when your eyes locked as he walked in the door he wore an unreadable expression.

You watched him out of the corner of your eye as you were stacking wooden toys and trinkets onto the shelves, and noticed that he wasn't acting the way he usually did. He seemed off.

You bit your lip and approached him quietly; he didn't look at you though, as you spoke into the air – only able to admire his side profile.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" You treaded carefully, sounding a little too meek for your liking. You didn't like the effect he had on you.

He looked to be lost in thought for a moment, before turning to look at you. "What kind of gifts do girls like?"

Your heart sank into the floor.

As your eyes trailed his face, gaze sweeping over his perfectly symmetrical features from his soft brown eyes to his pretty pink mouth you realised the insanity of your previous sentiments.

Of course he had a girlfriend, look at him for gods' sake.

You masked your sadness aptly, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. It wasn't as if he'd lead you on or anything, you'd just been living in your own delusions for far too long, allowing them to manifest into actual feelings.

"The things my father makes..." You walked ahead of him around the corner and through shelves, using your index finger to indicate you wanted to be followed, "Are good for tourists, and gifts for old people."

You lead him to a little corner of the shop, one that only stocked the things that you yourself had made. It was your father's idea.

"As for me, I like to make prettier things. Things other girls might enjoy." You used your hand to gesture up and down the shelf.

Mingyu looked at you for a moment with a quirked brow, and then set his gaze to the shelf.

You watched on as he reached out to touch the eclectic weeping willow you'd made. It had taken you forever to create, hence the maybe a little outrageous price tag. You'd had many customers grumpily try to haggle the price with you, but you were fond of it, maybe you didn't really want to let it go.

"You made this?" He questioned, gaze still on it. His long fingers were delicately tracing the decorative beading on it.

"Yes." You murmured shyly, clasping your hands behind your back.

"It must've taken you a long time." He noted.

"It did." You couldn't really think of much else to say, so you continued to watch his form.

He finally leaned up, as if breaking away from his transfixed state. You'd be lying if you said you weren't flattered.

"I'll take it, then."

You blinked up at him, "Are you sure?"

He raised his eyebrow at you, small smile playing on his lips.

He picked up the tree and set off towards the direction of the counter without another word, prompting you to follow.

You rushed ahead, pushing the small wooden entryway to go behind the counter, before meeting his eyes again.

He placed the item down and you looked back up at him, searching his face for any uncertainty.

"Can I ask you a question?" You murmured, avoiding his eyes.

He put his elbows on the counter and sat his head in his palms, watching you expectantly. "Sure."

Too close, he was too close!

You stepped back a fraction, hopefully to an unnoticeable degree. "Is the person this gift is for...special?"

The prying question left your mouth with little hesitation, and he too answered without it.

"Yes."

You watched as he pulled out his wallet and started fishing out notes, but you stopped him with your hand, lowering his gently.

"Then it's on me."

He looked at you, "Huh? No, I couldn't." He ignored you and set the money on the counter anyway.

"I made this a long time ago" You whispered gently, scanning the item to let the system know it was no longer in the store, "It's collecting dust here. You've also given us more business than I care to admit." Your tone was teasing when you looked up at him.

Again, his expression was unreadable.

"Would you like me to wrap it?" You asked, fighting down a sigh.

"Yes, please." His nice voice sent your heart into mini palpitations, and turned your stomach into a fluttering mess.

Stupid, traitorous body.

"Just a moment then." You took the item and walked into the back, exhaling deeply when you were out of ear shot.

You carefully wrapped the tree in bubble wrap, before setting it onto some pink wrapping paper and folding it all together nicely. You sealed it with tape before you heard the entry way doorbell ring.

You left the item in the back and wiped your dewy hands on your pinafore. Stepping out, you looked at the older woman who'd stepped into the store.

"Welcome!" You smiled at her, not familiar with her face. It was always customary to welcome newer customers, the regulars never cared quite so much.

She smiled back and set about the store, and you turned back around to go and retrieve the wrapped gift.

You brought it back out and noticed the money was still sitting on the counter, so while his attention was diverted in his zoned out state, you sneakily placed the money in the bottom of the paper bag, and put the wrapped gift on top of it – effectively hiding it.

"Here you go." You set the paper bag in front of him, and he took the handle and let it fall to his side.

"Thank you." He gave you a quick smile before heading out, and this time instead of using his hands like a normal person, or even his shoulder like he had the day before – he used his foot to push the door open and set out.

You watched his hair fly around in the wind as he stepped outside. The door shut and the bell jingled – leaving you to watch his figure through the glass doors.

His hair was so fluffy. You sighed, putting your elbow on the counter and resting your head in your palm. You wondered what it might be like to run your hands through it.

Sadly, though – that wouldn't happen any time soon. Any girl worth spending 89 dollars on an artisanal craft tree, must be special indeed. It seemed rather frivolous.

—0–0–0–0–

The next morning passed without any drama, and you found yourself during lunchtime nose deep in a book. This week had been slow, dreadfully slow – despite Mingyu and his more than occasional visits – to bring you out of the ordinary.

Your dreamlike state was shattered with a loud ringing of the entry bell, signifying the door had been opened with a little more force than necessary.

A gasp caught in your throat at the sight of Mingyu– and while you were overjoyed at his visit (3 days in a row was a new record) you couldn't help but notice the scowl on his face.

"Y/N."

He'd never said your name before, it sounded like heaven coming from him. But maybe a little bit of slipping from the clouds and plummeting down to earth kind of heaven because his tone was heated.

You watched as he rummaged through his pant pocket, before he pulled out a familiar wad of cash.

He unceremoniously dumped the notes onto the counter in front of you, and his eyes drew you to them, even though the first thing you wanted to do was look away.

"I said no. Why did you do that?" He sounded affronted, and he ran his pretty long fingers through his soft mop of hair to emphasize his frustration with you.

You wanted to say sorry, but you weren't. And if not for a faux apology, what were you supposed to say to that? So you kept quiet, hoping it would pass.

He narrowed his eyes at you sharply, and if gazes could kill...

"So, do you just go around giving away the things you make to anyone for free?" The angry set of his jaw was as frightening as it was handsome. You knew this boy – you'd been watching him for so long. His goofy, light-hearted demeanour could not be clouded with a foul mood.

And as if you were psychic, your silence seemed to stun him. He'd come in here hoping for a reaction and when he realised you weren't going to give him one it calmed him down. You watched as his tense stature relaxed, and his frown mellowed out.

"My sister loved the gift, by the way." His tone had gone soft, "She said it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. I thought so too."

Your heart rate quickened – his sister? You had a nasty habit for jumping to conclusions. It's not as if he'd come into a craft store to buy handcrafted wooden condoms.

Your heart had a pessimistic way of thinking, you'd liked him so much and for so long that your brain turned to non-functioning mush in his presence, clearly.

His sister. The tree was for his sister.

You chewed on your lower lip, trying to concentrate on evening out your breathing and heartbeat. To no avail, naturally.

His gaze was on you so strongly you could feel it. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"I'm...sorry?" Wow it's like you didn't even try to be convincing.

"No you're not." He chuckled, low and quickly – and it built up into laughter much lighter "You're not sorry at all."

You looked away, caught.

From your peripheral vision you saw him slide the notes over to you, even closer than they were before. "Put the money in the register. Now."

His tone didn't leave much room for debate, it was low and persuasive and you found yourself trembling at the thought of saying no.

"I want to watch you do it."

You detected hints of flirtation in his tone but you didn't want to get ahead of yourself, so you reached out to grab the money and just get it over and done with, but he was quicker.

He snapped the money back up and held it between his middle and forefinger, just for the purpose of keeping your gaze. "And don't try this again, I live too far away to keep coming back like this."

You tilted your head in question, he lived far away?

You held your hand out and he gave you the money, allowing you to put it in the register underneath his watchful gaze.

You shut it, and looked up. "Satisfied?"

He grinned at you, "Very..." A pause,

"Don't sell yourself short, don't ever try to give some guy free things, especially when they're so beautifully and carefully crafted."

You felt mildly affronted by his accusations. "What do you mean by some guy?" your lips fell into a thin line, the previous mood shattered. You chose to ignore the latter half of the sentences flattery.

"I don't know. Maybe if some guy you like comes in with his friends and charms the pants off of you and I don't know... you just give away your things for free."

You gave him a look of complete confusion. Was he daft?

"I like you, jerk."

Your hands came up to your mouth, as if it would do any good. Why had you said something so rash?

His eyes went wide, and if you didn't know any better you might have seen his face flush.

"What, why? You don't even know me..." He scratched the back of his head, "For how long?"

How coherent of him?

"Why? Because I can. I might not know you but, that doesn't mean I don't want to! And, uh, a while..." You huffed indignantly at the end of your mild outburst.

"No, god I mean..." He ran a hand through his hair, "I wouldn't say I like you, it's more of a crush... I don't know how to explain it, how can you like someone you don't know? You know?"

He had a fair point, in all his jumbled musings, perhaps blurting out your affections so carelessly made him think you were someone who used those words often.

"Well..." you thought, deflecting, "how can you have a crush on me then? Or whatever it is you want to call it."

"I asked first."

You almost scoffed, folding your arms. "Because I see you looking around and you're always happy. This is my father's store, and it makes me happy seeing you happy inside of it."

How many times did you just use the word happy?

He looked pleased at your admission, a sweet sly smile playing at his lips.

You sighed, "Now you."

"Alright" he shifted his balance onto his other leg, looking far taller and more imposing than he should have for someone so pleasant. "You make me curious, that's why."

Huh?

He rolled his eyes at your blank stare of confusion, "You make me curious. Whenever I come in you scramble to hide the books you're reading, to pretend like you were working." There was laughter in his voice, "It's cute..." he leaned in closer over the counter, "and it makes me so curious, I always wanted to know what you were reading."You felt your cheeks warm in embarrassment, "You could've just asked."

"No..." he hummed in reply "Because I spent my time in here day dreaming about what you might be reading. It entertained me."

You huffed, "Nice to know I'm a good source of entertainment."

"And whenever you look over at me..." He ignored you and carried on, "And I notice from the corner of my eye and look back, you always look away. Why do you do that?"

All of this time he'd never let on just how attentive he was to you. Knowing this embarrassed you to no end.

You didn't answer him.

"Why do you do that?" He tried again, his voice sounded closer than before. He looked so handsome with confusion lacing his features."I don't know." You bit back shyly

"You're a shit liar, do you know that?" he bit his lip and gave you a once over, "I'll ask you one more time, why do you look at me like that?"

You played with the frills on your sleeves out of nervousness and pat down your store pinafore one too many times than was necessary, desperately needing a distraction from your ever fluttering stomach.

"Y-you know you're nothing like I thought you'd be." You muttered

He smirked and gave you a look as if to say, 'no shit.'

"Wrong answer." Was what he whispered back instead.

The two of you just stood there staring at one another, and you couldn't discern whether or not the silence was comfortable, or unbearable.

You could've sworn his eyes darted to your lips for a moment, but the spell was broken when the bell sounded and a customer came in through the door.

"Welcome!" You got out, albeit breathlessly.

You met eyes with Mingyu again, and he looked as if he was on the brink of saying something. He sucked in an annoyed breath and looked away. But that façade didn't last long because a second later his attention was back on you.

"What time do you get off?"

Your eyes darted to the clock. 5.20. You had 10 minutes left but you'd rather clock out early than have to wait through the tension of, well, whatever the hell you'd call this.

You watched as your final customer left after looking around extremely briefly.

"Now." You whispered, taking off your pinafore gently and setting it beneath the counter.

You went out back for only a moment and switched the power off, coming back out to meet Mingyu.

Your nervousness was palpable, and you patted down your jean skirt that was beneath the pinafore, hoping that your blouse was presentable enough.

It felt like time was moving very slowly as the two of you walked out of the store together, his beautiful features were darkened in shadow – illuminated only by the soft cloudy light emanating from the glass doors.

The two of you slipped out wordlessly, but not before you flipped the sign at the door around to 'Sorry! We are CLOSED.'

—0–0–0–0–

Mingyu took you to a park that was close by, and while the sun wasn't out shining, there was a real charm to the dull grey – with little hints of blue dotted throughout the sky.

The two of you sat on a bench overlooking a field of grass and trees, with flowers scattered about, growing in sparse groups.

"You know, I'm sorry for teasing you." He murmured, looking forward.

You smiled, only a little.

You often day-dreamed about Mingyu taking you out, but back then he didn't have a name to his face. He was just the smiling boy who'd come in whenever he felt like it, with no routine.

But now that you knew the kind of flirtatiousness and deadly charm of which he was capable, it got you to thinking. Just what exactly was it that you liked about him? He had every right to tease you, and to question – because in his eyes you were just a silly girl with an even sillier, baseless crush.You turned to look at his side profile, marvelling at the perfect sculpture of it. "You are?"

"Yeah. Can I tell you the truth?" There was an odd sort of smile on his lips – that met somewhere between a grin and a grimace.

You nodded – hopefully he caught it in his peripheral vision.

"At first I was annoyed with you – for telling me you liked me so carelessly. I thought maybe you'd said it to lots of people before me, I got jealous I suppose." He leaned off to the side of the bench and sat back up with a daisy in his hand, and when he started picking at the petals you supposed it was to put his energy somewhere. "But seeing the way you act when I even... look at you. The way you look at me, it's..." he sighed softly, thoughts dribbling off into nothingness. You hadn't even realised he thought so deeply about you, you felt awful for making him uncomfortable – even without realising it."What I'm trying to say is that I understand you." He finalised "I'm drawn to you, too, more than I can understand why."

You smiled softly, suddenly feeling very warm.

"But, you don't know me, Y/N." He looked at you – looking far too beautiful in all his earnest composure. "Can you live with that?"

"For now." You whispered, "But I meant what I said before, is it so wrong to want to get to know you?"

"Which..." He inhaled and reclined into the bench, legs splayed out in a boyishly charming manner "Which me did you start to like, how was I?"

You thought about the confusing question for a moment, "You smiled a lot. Made a lot of weird, goofy faces at inanimate objects my father and I made. Ridiculously charming stuff." You giggled "And you'd always buy the silly things that my dad loves and I loathe. You know, the wooden sculptures with odd anatomy. I told him there was no market for it, but you became the market." You bit your lip to keep from laughing harder.You paused, "I'll only be a little upset if that isn't the real you."He pulled his lower lip through his teeth and turned to look at you, there was something indiscernible about his gaze, "Only a little?" he whispered.

A.Lie.

"Yeah..." You trailed off

"Do you make it a habit to lie?" he scoffed, turning away from you. "I already told you, you're a bad liar."

"'Shit', I believe was your adjective of choice."

You watched him grin, if you were brave enough to call it that. "I'm serious, Y/N. If you want my truths you have to give me yours, it's the only way we can figure out..." his index finger flicked between the two of you in an exaggerated gesture "Whatever this is."

He was right. He was probably always right.

"I'd be upset, but I'm sure I could get used to every part of you."

Satisfied, he seemed to drop it. "Good, because it is a part of me, before you that is."

You quirked your brow, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You make me nervous." He concluded simply.

"I make you nervous? You never let that on, at all." You murmured, truthfully confused.

Mingyu seemed very well put together. He was a person who you'd always assumed never gave two shits about the thoughts of other people. But the more time you spent with him alone, the more you realised your awful habit of projecting personalities onto people was a dangerous game to play.

The Mingyu you had feelings for was only a small part of his personality, there was more depth to him than he let on.

"I'm a better liar than you." He was looking at you fully, now.

It was silent for a while before he spoke up again, "My mom took me to this area when I was a little younger during the holidays. You didn't work at the shop at that time but I vaguely remember seeing your face. I loved the eccentric toys your father made, so I always asked my mom to bring me back."

This was news to you, you didn't remember him at all. But listening to him recollect so fondly about your store made your heart swell with pride. That's all your father had ever wanted, a homelike store full of warmth and treasures people of all ages could enjoy.

The store was especially bustling during holiday season and irrevocably dead during off season, so it was understandable you didn't recognize his face.

"I always drive down here when I get the time. I feel at home here for some reason because I have good memories of the store – it was so magical and big when I was a kid, not so much now, naturally."

"Yeah, you're huge." You cut in.

He snickered before continuing on, "Since I felt at home in your store I always got a little comfortable, entertaining myself. But then I noticed you looking at me once, and I don't know what it was about it, but, something happened to my heart that day."

You blinked a few times, trying to absorb all of this information. He was a wonderful speaker – his voice was so calming and deep you found it hard not to fall in.

"Your heart?" You questioned delicately, just trying to make sense of the connection the two of you seemed to have – which until today had gone severely unnoticed.

"Yeah. And before I knew it I was nervous, I couldn't act the way I usually did because I was afraid it would scare you off or something. I felt like I couldn't be myself around you, you were too beautiful for that." He ran a hand through his hair after the statement, and you felt blessed to have seen him do it up so close.

"That's...shallow. You were willing to change who you are, for me? Because you thought I was pretty?" You laughed lightly at the notion

He raised his eyebrow at you and leaned in close, "Shallow?"

You swallowed at the close proximity.

"You never answered my question, and I've been so truthful I think I deserve an answer..." He ran his tongue along his lower lip, following the teasing lilt in his tone. He was teasing you, and he wasn't attempting to conceal it this time.

You knew exactly what question he wanted the answer to.

'Why do you look at me like that?'

He fucking well knew the answer to it too, and you wondered if he was 50% kindness and 50% mischief – maybe 60/40.

But you were certain, even after everything he'd divulged to you – you'd take all 50% of his teasing, of his bullying and smirks and eyebrow raises and every other bloody thing that came along with Mingyu's personality – if it meant you got to see him laugh with glee from time to time.You'd gotten caught up in your thoughts while watching him, and you shook your head to shake you out of the dazed reverie.

"You were doing it just now." He fell back dramatically into the bench, leaning his head back "Christ."

"Sorry."

"No you aren't!"

You giggled, then.

"No really. I am, I'm sorry. I didn't ever want to make you uncomfortable. That's the truth. It was the last thing I wanted." You felt a little ashamed of yourself, at not ever being able to hide your feelings well.

Your inability to do so had caused the person next to you a great deal of confusion.

"Whoever said I wanted an apology from you? I love the way you look at me. But I told you before, I'm curious." He shifted close to you, impossibly so. Close enough that your thighs were touching – but his were clothed.

"If you don't tell me, I'll kiss you."

You looked at his mouth and had to fight back laughter. That was a threat? Oh boohoo, that would be awful.

Perfectly annoyed by him, you grabbed gently at the collar of his shirt and brought his mouth to yours. He let out a low, pleased noise – melting into your touch.

His lips felt like heaven on yours, they were soft and warm – and the noises of pleasure he was making was doing little to stifle the rampant thumping of your heart. He kissed back with fervour, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into him further.

When it had all gotten too much, he pulled away slowly and hesitantly, before putting his head into the crook of your neck and letting out a soft sigh. "That was unfair." He whispered, leaning back to look at you. "You're avoiding giving me an answer."

"Are you done being a brat or are you going to admit that you already know the answer?" You wound your arms around his neck and played with the back of his hair, admiring the feel. It was as soft as you'd imagined.

"Is it so wrong to want to hear it from you?" He murmured, leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours again quickly.

You laughed softly into the little space between you, effectively ignoring him.

"I really am sorry about liking you so early. But I think it'll be very easy to like all of you,Mingyu." You hoped you sounded sure.

"You're not sorry." He bit his lip, smiling through the gesture.

"You're right." You whispered, leaning up and placing a delicate kiss to his forehead, and lingering far longer than necessary;

"I'm not."

[survivor-halsingland]

Ep. 1: "There's 100% going to be a Canada alliance." - Amy

Amy

Initial reaction of cast reveal: I’m toast But for real this can go a couple of ways for me, none of which have me seeing myself make merge lol. I’m either going to be a very early boot here or be nice and active enough to solidify a place for a while. Lots of familiar and unfamiliar faces. Hopefully the people familiar with me won’t want to immediately vote me out. I have already mentioned to Derrick that I played with DeNara before, so hopefully we can bond over that and it not be used against me. I have explicitly asked Jared to not exclusively lie to me this go haha but we both said we were more playing for the other half of our duos and just agreed to do it. I was excited to see Blue on my tribe and I also know Leanne, and have already had a good chat with Klied - but his name does have “lie” in it 👀. Honestly I want to do a quick portion of divide and conquer, I planned on chilling in a pool tomorrow and going to drag bingo with Ava. But no one has solidly chosen anything so they are really about to force me to be tribe leader and sort this out. Things I look forward to: vibes, chatting with cool people, meeting people, twists, and drama Things I will not be doing: sitting on hours and hours of video calls. Not my style. But I know several people in this game love it. Let the good times roll y’all

Kenneth

HERE WE GO AGAIN! i'm fresh off of ingary, but jay has magic powers and pulled me in to another season of a potential clown fiesta <3 but seriously, this already seems a lot more enticing and spicy because of the theme in itself and how the challenges and idol hunt are structured so i am very excited to play :) i learned a lot about my last game and i will improve on it (hopefully) by taking more risks and plays that WILL be appreciated by the jury, and not be overly attached to people, which would result to tunnel vision. the first challenges are already pretty great, and i cannot wait to play this game. TO WIN! hehe >:)destiny i’m super confused about a lot of stuff tbh but everyone on my tribe is so nice and welcoming and i’m sure i’ll get the hang of it all soon :) i’m excited to be playing and just hoping i don’t screw things up for my tribe :/

AmyThis tribe is exhausting. Challenges where I need to send a photo back quickly really hate me. My phone took like a minute to actually send the photo, but Waldo went well. Except I started in the bottom right looking with vertical transects and Waldo was hiding in the bottom left 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Woulda been 30 seconds had I started over there. But I’m already expecting tribal so I’m just hoping I wasn’t the worst portion of our challenges haha!

Leanne

Not very much to share so far. Some people on this tribe are much bigger talkers than others, Jared, Derrick, Klied, and Amy. It’s been harder to get Convo from Jesse and Blue, and I’ve barely heard from Josh or Aubree. I wonder if other people have had the same experience. Haven’t dared try game talk with anyone yet. Hoping I’m not behind, but it’s only day 2 right? Maybe I’ll try to put some feelers out with Amy. Maybe I’ll tell her about some things in the idol hunt and see if she’ll give me anything in return, maybe try to get a partnership going. I’m glad she’s on my tribe, but also a little bit scared because I’ve seen exactly how good she is. Aside from that, the person I feel best about right now is Derrick. We’ve had some good chats and seem to connect well. Hope he feels the same way. And Moth. I’m especially nervous about them. When we played before we didn’t exactly hit it off, but I think we’re both… trying. I hope we can have a new start this time, a new story. And from what I know of them they are a very loyal allies so, here’s hoping. Also happy to see Sarah here, and my yinzer JG. Maybe he and my dad can bond over that? And that’s all I’ve got so far. God I hope I did enough in the challenge today. *whines* I don’t wanna go to tribal first!

Jared

Don't mind me making a confessional before the game even starts, call me a game changer. https://youtu.be/JFOxzamkcH8

Jared

Not one, but two, confessionals before the game even begins. Sorry not sorry! https://youtu.be/SETx-0LoI9E

Shawn

Well, things are going good so far! I think anyway. Although I like everyone on my team, I do have to say it's odd playing with someone whose older than my father is, Frank. Usually I like to take charge in games like this, I like to be the leader. Yet, with Frank, it's difficult because he's so much older, I feel like I'm a little kid around him. I don't wanna tell him what to do, because I don't wanna be disrespectful? I'm so excited so far though, absolutely loving the challenge and how we get to pick! Im not that bright so I'm happy I can do creative stuff.

Aubree

This is my first BvW confession! Idk about the other tribe, but the Mysa Tribe is super chill. Most of the conversations yesterday consisted of everyone saying hi and that they were busy and would be active later. Day 2 and the activity level is still the same, which is kind of a relief since I am much more of an introvert. I have been trying to be the first to reach out to people since I feel that is something I have struggled with in past ORGs I’ve played in. I’m usually the reserved/silently-strategic player, but I’m going to try and be more proactive for this game. Ive talked to Klied, Jared, Amy and Leanne a decent amount and have enjoyed our conversations. I know of Amy due to the games she has played with Sarah, so I am hoping that works in my favor. Amy did say that Sarah voted her out in the first game they played in, so that could work one of two ways for my game… like if it came down to a vote between me or Sarah later on?? but maybe it is too soon to think that far ahead? Lol Even though I’m an Art Teacher I chose to steer away from the Creative part to our first challenge. Tbh I’m so burnt out irl when it comes to being creative due to my job, so I’m okay with taking a step back from the creative challenges for now. I’ve enjoyed being a part of the Scavenger Hunt, even though it was a bit harder than expected. I was so stoked to have a Starry Night print, but since it wasn’t real it didn’t count… Like who the heck has a REAL VAN GOGH?? (Or quick access to one) LOL As much as I would LOVEEE to have an original painting, that teacher salary-bracket doesn’t allow for that!! Lol I haven’t had anyone directly ask to me to be in an alliance with them… so that is - interesting? I’m used to the last two games I played where it felt like everything was very paced. Now, It’s either A) everyone is just chillin’ and not wanting to rush things or B) bonds HAVE already started to form but I’m not a part of them? I guess things will spend up more after the first challenge is over and we see where our strengths and weaknesses are in the tribe. Until then! - Aubree

Moth

Hi!! I’m back again and playing with someone I know. I actually happen to be on call with Destiny as I type this but like- were vibing And also once again I’m starting off on the wrong foot, not at home when the game starts.

Moth

I don’t trust Jared Straight up And I feel like that’s fair- Twice I’ve been voted out for my connections to Kyoshi island and it’s really fucking frustrating- Jared apologized and sounded sincere but idk I trust people too easily.. Brayden, Denara, and Leanne are also all in this game All people I’ve played with Leanne I don’t trust right off the bat. I tried that before but like- that didn’t work for me. I just want to at least make it to the merge

Frank

Having fun, learning as I get going. Truly impressed by the comraderi among people whom I've never met. Old dogs, new tricks, this is cool.

Klied

The game is going pretty well so far! Everyone has been really nice and supportive of one another. I hope this tribe dynamic continues for the next rounds of the game! :>

Moth

I fucked it up I genuinely feel really bad because everyone’s so confident in me- And I’m totally going to be a target now

Moth

Ohhhhh thank god Thank god because I was absolutely going to be on the chopping block if we lost I don’t want to be first out That being said

I don’t want Destiny to be first out either

Shawn

I'm not very happy tonight with how things went. I truly believe the other team deserved the win, the video was creative and a lot of effort was put into it! I think it was a great thing. But I disappointed that we lost so many of the challenges. I'm also getting annoyed that people are being present on the chat. I feel like it's me and another tribe member that is putting in all the work. Not impressed, but whatever. I just really hope I don't get voted off tomorrow.

Kenneth

welp i bombed the where's waldo challenge and my team lost by a hair in the riddles challenge because of an advantage so rip. i really hope i don't get voted off first because i severely underperformed in the challenge akjdnsajkndkjsnd i'd be really disappointed in myself :/

Amy

Shocked. Absolutely shocked we aren't headed to tribal lol. And here I thought my 4 minutes on Waldo was too slow but it was enough. Honestly we are lucky Blue's quit disadvantage was only what it was bc they quit after 30 minutes apparently. All these advantages at play! And I'm sitting here with a disadvantage. I think I'm clearly doing the idol hunt wrong 😆 all I have is a disadvantage from poison feast food and a chipmunk named Wadsworth in my pocket. Based on how little anyone is speaking I was certain we'd be going to tribal hands down no question. So I am very, very happy we avoided it in the end. I think it would have been between Jessie and Josh though bc they aren't active. I would have voted Jessie bc Josh did the video even after saying he didn't actually want to do the creative part so that's major props to him in my book! I am very curious as to who the other tribe is going to vote off in the end. I hope it's no one I want to make it far. Oh basically I know I'm probably not making merge so I'm trying to align things to get certain people farther and get other people out. I'm rooting for a newbie to take it. Anyway woo day off and I won't be first boot. Fingers crossed it's not Ava. I wouldn't be surprised if she was targeted for her association with me. Love this game! Love this cast! Love the idol hunt! The reward challenge was the most fun bc Ava and I were incredibly intoxicated after Drag Bingo and we did better each time! The last one we went "office" and "turnip" and literally bust out laughing and both said "Nate". I would like to personally apologize to Ellie for having to witness that nonsense. Thank you to everyone! Oh one last thing. I did not want to work with jared at all but it looks like I am going to be forced to do so. I think I have to put trust in Jared and in Leanne who has voted me out of two games prior 😆 but that's me always just bonding most with the people who are active and want to talk to me.

Amy

There's 100% going to be a Canada alliance.

Aubree

Who won the first challenge?? MYSA DID! Woot woot! Even though Jared, Jessie and I didn’t win the Scavenger Hunt portion after the advantages were added in - we did win as far as how many total objects were found, so I’m pretty proud about that! To top it off Sarah and I won the Reward Challenge!!!! We both get 3 stat points to add to our Idol Hunt… which I have yet to do… I should probably do that tomorrow O_o

Avat

hings are going well i think!!! i've had a lot of fun and i sorta vibe with everyone so far on the tribe. i'm really hyped and fingers crossed we do well. i've been sorta inactive with my challenge bc of work but i'm doing what i can for now. more to come soon

DeNara

Well this is my first confessional of the game and oh my is this going to be an interesting game. Initial impressions of my tribe...... Sarah +Jodi- frenemies because they are so good at survivor Frank- I really like him. He seems like a cool dude Kenneth- Seems cool, I may want to work with him, but he seems to be playing harder than he should so early Brayden- Didn't get the best first impression, but that could change Shawn- Super quiet, then they started chatting so that helped Ava, J.G., Destiny- Really inactive so I don't really know- potential first vote I want to work with Sarah, Frank and maybe Kenneth. Jodi would be good to work with although who knows what she is thinking. Everyone else I will stay open to working with, but really don't care too much as of yet.

DeNara

The first challenge was weird because everyone just took their roles and stopped talking. I HATE QUIET. Period. The creative challenge on my tribe wasn't super creative imo, but they tried. I didn't help in the scavenger hunt as much as I wanted too so that sucks, but at least we won that part so that looks good. I am so excited for this idol hunt! It is amazing! Props to the hosts! WE LOST, DAMMIT. At least Derrick won't be the first boot. I hope I am not either or HE WILL NOT STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT IT AND I WILL DIE.

DeNara

Well it is chaos now. Shawn has made an alliance with Sarah, Kenneth, and myself. I like the safety of that. Jodi, Sarah and myself also made a Subrosa alliance (we all knew that would happen) and I feel like this will keep me safe for a while at least. Both Sarah and Jodi want to work with Brayden and potentially Kenneth so we may make an alliance of 5 with them- but that also means Sarah and I would have to talk to Kenneth about not telling Jodi about the other alliance and that could be very risky early on.... hmmm idk about that. Also, Frank is my dude. I hope he stays. I think I am going to lean towards J.G. or Destiny.

Sarah

https://youtu.be/RzlLHyHZguQ

Kenneth

I am now in 2 alliances: one with denara, sarah, and shawn, and another one with ava and brayden! i feel good about both alliances, with the first one feeling solid and loyal (for now), and the second one for the long term! i feel very solid about sarah and denara, i feel like i can last long with them as my good allies. jodi's a tricky one, because i know she's a damn good player, but it's better to keep her on my side for now until an opportune time to make a move (and i actually really like talking to her!).

Jared

me: i'm gonna try to make this concise also me: 8 minutes on the very first episode where i'm not even going to tribal oh boy

Brayden

https://youtu.be/reALs2hizjk hey everyone I'm here

DeNara

So now I am in a bunch of alliances. I guided Kenneth to make an alliance chat with Sarah and me to tell us to keep our alliances with 1. Shawn and 2. Brayden and Jodi a secret. Insert evil laugh here lol. So all together right now I should have Sarah, Jodi, Kenneth, Brayden, Shawn and Frank backing me, so I shouldn't be first boot. It sounds like we are going for Destiny because they aren't very active, which was the name Kenneth threw out first so he is getting what he wants without upsetting me.

Ava

so so so bummed about going to tribal i thought we had it in the bag especially with our advantages but alas... i formed an alliance with brayden and kenneth which i'm super obsessed with i really like both of them - hopefully this means safety for tomorrow. i hate working two jobs and the week after next ill be working just one which is just so fucking sweet fingers crossed i can make it that long in this game. anyway that's all for now

Jodi

I'm so happy to be back. This time, I promise to play a chill Jodi game as I said in my intro, and I want to relax and enjoy this twist of a season. Jared and I are thrilled to play our second season together in the actual format of BvW, and we will be playing our own games. So far, I'm glad to have Denara, Sarah, Brayden on my tribe, as we all know each other but never played before (except Brayden). I want to keep an open mind and play fluidly. Kenneth told Brayden within 10 mins of the game starting that he was scared of me, but I hope I can gain the trust of people and not play as flashy as people remember me for. Looking forward to the connections I make!

Jodi

I promised y'all a chill Jodi game and here i am, delivering it. I think. DeNara and Sarah immediately made the "The Best of SubRosa" chat because obviously that was bound to happen, but additionally, the 3 of us are in an alliance with Brayden and Kenneth called "the clock" (because of our time zones ahahahaha). This game's dynamic is so different because even though we hate going to tribal, it also means that our loved ones are safe from tribal, which sometimes, could be better. I hope Jared is doing good on the other side. Obviously I trust Sarah and DeNara but I also know Sarah will cut my throat when it needs to happen, even if she gonna be crying while doing it, so I'll just...not be blinded by that. I trust Brayden 100%, Kenneth calling me scary is not great but I guess he rather be with me than against me, for now. Y'all Ingary kids what did you say about me??? LMAOO ♥️ I did ask him why he didn't cause ruckus at 5 and whip out the superidol and he said "tunnel vision". Hey that's two of us I guess!

Sarah

https://youtu.be/RzlLHyHZguQJessie So I’m still working on making like connections and stuff but we won the first challenge so no tribal which is a very good thing . ❤️ I’m enjoying this interactive scavenger hunt and I’m totally not trying to pull a Danni from Midsommar lol.

Brayden

hey guys im in a 5 person alliance rn with jodi sarah denara and kenneth and i feel pretty good and excited bc i think ill win this whole game but sadly destiny is prob leaving tonight <\3

Derrick

First challenge done. We rocked it! I don't really have any sort of alliance at this point but I seem to be getting along with everyone. Josh didn't seem to put too much effort into our creative set up but it still worked out OK. It was unfortunate I was on my trip at the time as I could have done so much more with. I think as long as we support eachother we can rock every challenge that comes our way!joshIM SOO HAPPY WE WON! our tribe seems to be like friendly but i havent made any alliances i think so idk if im in a good spot if we lose a challenge but we didnt this time so🙃ShawnEveryone in the tribe is messaging about Destiny, and that is who everyone is thinking of voting off. I'm still thinking of voting Frank off, and I think that's who I'm going for. He's not good at technology, and this whole game is about technology! We lost the creative challenge because all we could do with him was write! Still, everyone thinks because Destiny isn't very active she should be the one to go. I'm not sure what I want to do. JGOh hey! Here we are round one. I feel so out of it playing this game. For the first time in a while, I barely know any of the other players. Which is refreshing and tough. I also feel like my social game is kind of lacking but that is kind of my brand for round 1. I have had some great one on one conversations with DeNara, Jodi, and Sarah. I've talked to Brayden and Kenneth as well a little bit less than the first three. Shawn and Ava, barely. Frank and Destiny not at all. The vote should be Destiny since we sadly lost. Which works for me. I feel the closest with DeNara and Sarah. Really hoping I can start to get my footing. If we were to lose again, Frank would probably go but I don't wanna put myself in the line of fire again. Well here's hoping things improve. Hopefully, I'm not blindsided. Here we go.blueMy tribe seems pretty cool so far, everyone is nice and seems pretty active so thats nice. Shawns going to tribal so I hope theyre gonna be safe :(((DeNara As far as I know, the vote is going to be Destiny. I feel bad for them for not getting the chance to play, and I feel really bad for Moth, they always have the worst luck in ORGs. That being said I sure hope nothing crazy happens tonight or I will cry 100% Tribal, here I come...AubreeThere is hardly any game talk (at least from where I’m standing), so I may start trying to get a feel of where people are at by asking some game-related questions in the tribe chat. Don’t get me wrong, I love the personal chit-chats… BUT I’m also feeling a bit empty-handed as far as knowing everyone’s game motives. Maybe I’m being too bold… idk. I’m not normally the one to standout in ORGs, so hopefully my tribe doesn’t take this as me prying… even though I guess I kinda am?? 😬 “Oof look at me being all dangerous and shit!” 😤🤘🏼😂blueSO here are more detailed thoughts on my tribe. Amy of course is a queen and a legend and we've played together before and have a good rapport. Leanne is so kind and so funny, and I would be super down for working with her. Jared is SO nice I get really good vibes and really enjoy talking to him. Aubree is also very nice and seems genuinely interested in my irrelevant stories 10/10 good vibes. Moth is dope as expected and turns out we have a lot of the same interests ie. witcher and the mcelroys very fun. The rest are yet to be determined.AmyI would like to start out by saying that Brayden's video during their tribal almost made me seasick thanks buddy. So today was a DAY. It was a day off and like I had a weird day at work lol 😆 and then I remembered there was the task of talking to people who h i slacked on today whoops sorry. But for half these people idk if they even noticed bc my tribe is so quiet. Did I already say I tried asking Jessie what their favorite berry was? Like that's how exhausting conversation has been most all around. I think I'm talking to Leanne, Derrick, and Jared the most. I am begging for bygones to be bygones. But anyway I was trying to do a little of the hunt throughout the day bc after seeing

all those advantages last go I was SHOCKED. Then at the end of work I made it to thevpart where I was talking to the grumpy sad flower crown man and after falling on my weak ass on a ladder I picked the lock with a bobbypin and charisma's him to make me a flower crown which got me to the maypole which had me do a scavenger hunt and I got an idol. Writing this all out is absolutely hilarious. But yeah I have an idolllllllllllllllllllll which I don't want to use anytime soon. But I have a feeling I'm going to struggle to make merge. Anyway I got this idol like directly after the other tribe finishing tribal and I love a funny timing like that. I'm glad Ava survived weee! And wow they have some very vocal tribe members haha I'm sure Denara and Jodi are working together which tracks bc I've been closest to both of them individually in prior games early on. Curious if it will stick. So next was rock paper scissors for which I have a 10% disadvantage which apparently applies to the overall tribe score ☠️ . I won my game against Brayden who was at seemingly a raging Big Brother watch party. Sorry buddy. But we've been chatting like he asked how josh was and I said Josh is great and really stepped up to the plate for the creative challenge even though it wasn't what he wanted and also he loves tom holland so I instantly trust him. Then he said everyone likes ava bc she's just so cool and yes I get it I am personally intimidated by how cool Ava is and I have to be around that cool level every day honestly I don't know why she talks to me but she's a badass. Anyyywayyyy he doesn't seem keen on actually talking game and I need to figure out if I need to just tell my tribe I have a disadvantage rn or be like what the fuck the other tribe is so mean to give me a disadvantage 😭 Anyway excited to explore the hunt some more and this game is so fun. If we go to tribal I think Jessie is most at risk tbh. Okay that's all bye ❤️

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 2 - “Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk” - Joshua (through Autumn)

I hate flag-making challenges. I will not be helpful at all, and I hope that someone else can take the reigns and lead us to victory. I honestly feel safe going into a tribal council, but I do not want to test that theory.

Next morning

With Chips and Jules working on the crest designs, I feel confident that we will do well in the challenge. Maybe not the best, but definitely not the worst. I still have the same anxious feeling that my tribe is not active enough for my taste, but I will just have to live with it for now. Besides, at least this is not immunity because that we increase my anxiety by so much. But, I keep forgetting to search the idol hunt which is my bad, but it is just so hard and long that I do not really feel like searching all the time lol

ART CHALLENGE <333 i love these challenges. Jess made my picture 110% better and its super cute. The note that she wrote with it is also hella cute and I love the whole HP aesthetics bc i never got to go to real hogwarts ;-; but i'm sure most of yall can related. The boys weren't too helpful but nick was better than jacob who is sick. Nick was way more active aka jacob said 3 sentences the entire challenge sooooo…. if we lose idk I might just save jacob anyways bc pregame relations.

Won reward, but now we have to win immunity again. I really hope that this reward helps us continue to survive. I don't want to have to vote anyone out. We've been getting first, but I really just want to survive this challenge, its known to be hard.

I think I have been stuck with the second most challenge inept tribe in the history of my ORG career. I literally said so many answers in my version of the story and Jules just fucked it up. And then they got the girl's name wrong. And then they started mixing up characters. I know I did well, but fuck these people. God. Now we need a tribe to get 0 which is very unlikely. I will just resign myself to tribal. I hope and pray that these people have some common sense and do not want to vote me out

Listen. Listen. Listen. I dang knew this story was going to be Harry Potter based. I knew in my brain and in my heart that I shouldn’t have been the one to start that thing. What do I do? Start the dang thing. Oh well. We did alright. I would be shocked if we won tho but if we don’t I’ll be relieved. I def don’t feel confident enough but I really had a lot of fun with my tribe. I really miss this and really hope that my time isn’t cut short! I feel really good about my tribe mates sincerely. And that’s kind of scary! I would hate to see any of us to go and how it’s going to affect the bond we have if we vote someone out. In this moment with Max sitting out, it may be him who goes if we go to tribal. I hope that isn’t the case. I’ve got my fingers crossed for us. Huff Puff strong!

Honestly Jules dropped the ball sis!! But it’s okay, I love her. She’s really nice and I know she tried her best. Plus she’s in an alliance with me and Owen, so we should have the numbers against Joanna or Miguel if we go to tribal. Personally, I’d prefer Joanna to go. She’s kinda domineering, but she’s also an asset in challenges thus far. She is organized and direct. I’ve also talked to her a bit more than Miguel, so I guess I don’t really care who goes.

I’m happy I didn’t fuck up the reward comp and the shit that I drew got us a win!

I really hope I don't bomb that challenge, I answered everything that Kevin talked to me about.... I think!  The rest of them tried very hard but I am SOOO glad that I asked to do my part at the end because my memory of repeating things is horrendous but I'm usually pretty good at bullshitting test answers... too bad I got some of the multiple choice stuff wrong.

I think that if we do lose I am still in a good spot on this tribe and hopefully I won't be in danger.  I feel like I'm on everyone's good side and Max kind of just disappeared so maybe we could just vote him out this round? Idk.

Hopefully we don't have to worry about it.  I smell a swap coming up pretty soon and I just hope I'm either with Owen or with some of the people from my tribe.  I have no idea if they know anyone or are close with anyone in the other houses.

I'm still feeling the closest to Lily and Kevin but I have been talking to Landen a good bit too these days so hopefully we'll be safe or we can all just agree on Max.

16 minutes later

OOOOOH IS LANDEN PAVING THE WAY FOR A MOVE TO SEND MAX PACKING???

He just told me that me, lily and kevin are precious angels that must be protected and that he likes Max when he's around too so that sounds like something... HMMM...

I can't get cocky, I always go home when I get cocky. But I like this.

my host chat saw this first (shout-out to Drewie and Dennis): Y’all I’m an idiot. I thought I only knew 2 people in this game (Owen and chips). Then I remembered I also know Jess, Autumn, and dan. Literally love and respect each of you my brain just don’t got the strongest memory no more. I’m so sorry!!!! I literally just told landen I only know 2 ppl. I’m just gonna try to not remember it happened.

Ugh.....I need to get it together.

I love my tribe talking to each other now that we have to!! Everyday I'm like damn either I'm on the bottom or I'm not the only one with piss poor social game. Ok so... the moment the hosts said we got 1 point, I started getting ready for tribal lmaaaooo. No sense crying over it either because all the tribes basically just had to show up in order to beat that

Like how could we not go to tribal with a score of ONE? That shit's embarrassing hahaha. That's like when your teacher passes the test back to everyone sitting around you but not you so you KNOW it's bad. But you know what? It's all good cause I'd rather us take the L now and get it out the way and we can all laugh about it cause losing won't be funny after long. The real question is: will Gryffindor do this the easy way or the hard way caaauusse we all know who the weakest link is. I just wanna see if someone puts two and two together without my prodding. Chips already said we voting together right and I'm like yes sir. There's no better place than being on the same page

WE WON OMG!! Jules basically gave me nothing, which is fine, i understand, but i'm so impressed that we pulled that off. Absolutely killing these reward challenges really helps!

"Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk."

Tonight we learned Joshua is a feminist selfless man that I stan because he's volunteering to go home without me having to put his name out, which I was going to do. Like imagine if every guy had that kind of self-awareness, to recognize why he should be the vote and then embrace it instead of wreaking havoc. And wanting to see others succeed more than yourself? King shit! He knew when to hang it up and did just that. Like the number of times I've seen a vote get complicated for no fucking reason because everyone wants a fight to the death. Enough- I'm old, tired, and cannot exert too much energy at once. We got a long game ahead of us, not to mention quarantine. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Joshua. We need more players like you and I appreciate your service

im back back BACK AGAIN with another confessional! not much has changed but a few updates for the sake of these being required :) 1. max has become even more inactive, he's not reached out to me personally since the first day and any time i messaged him after that he's sent me nothing back that i can build a convo off of, so we just have stopped speaking. Luckily this challenge only required four people and everyone else SHOWED UP!! or at least spoke about their availability, while he did not. However in his defense he said he was having some issues at home and i feel for him but his inability to connect has been an issue before he spoke about anything in our tribe chat with us. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but this point my relationships with the other 3 are leaps and bounds ahead of where I am at with Max. Maybe he can pick up some speed if we continue winning challenges but, it's not looking too hot. SPEAKING OF CHALLENGES, well first we lost reward AGAIN, but we won immunity.. AGAIN! thank goodness for not being first or second boot, i always love being able to avoid these early tribals and if i can get to a swap without seeing one that would be ideal, but also if we do go and maybe vote out max? wouldn't be the worst thing. Moral of the story we won and thats exciting! however.. if we didn't.. the first big push of strategic talk came up with landen when he hinted at being frustrated with max's lack of presence which I also share. I do believe if we lost me and landen could have most definitely picked up ruthie and lily to form a four against him, if he even came to tribal. That would be my ideal situation and if we continue on this tribes hopefully it gives me a nice cushion to fall on if we do lose so i dont have to entirely blow up my social game within the first few rounds by voting out someone i've built a connection with. If max can go and the remaining four hufflepuffs can make a swap I would feel good about that, and maybe in the right circumstances we could work together on the swapped tribes because i genuinely like all of these people (yes max too but in this specific scenario he wouldn't be included bc... well..) anyways to close this off i still absolutely ADORE lily, she is fun and our conversations are really good, and same goes for ruthie, hopefully i dont have to see either of them or myself go home before we can really start playing because i think we could do some damage. :) ok anyways this was longer than i thought it would be goodbye

I'm still not over the fact that I was able to answer 7 of those questions right. I have the memory of a plastic fork.  I also love that we are SAFE!

I do kind of hope things get spicy and we swap this round and become two tribes of 9. That'd be cute. I don't want VI to get bored and crack on me. BUT ALSO I think I have solid enough relationships with almost everyone on this tribe... so who knows?!

Also... these hoes really out here trying to search for an idol in PUBLIC. IN PUBLIC. WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?

Dear diary, seems like we keep winning challenges, which is great but tbh i feel like every time i give a disadvantage to my team because english is not my first Language, and so far its been a vocabulary test and a listening and speaking test. I mean I knew I signed up for school but damn. Give me some macarena  or drinking tequila challenge and I'll crush it

bippity boppity boo im back again with almost no content kdfasjhdskjfh

Ravenclaw working smarter and we keep winning, period!!! Thankful that y'all put Dan and I together....bc truly we will be unstoppable in these competitions. I kind of want to lose soon though to see how things would shake out, but I don't really have bad blood with anyone. Joanna seems passionate enough in the tribe chat and the challenges, even if she's dry in PMs. Miguel still won't give me anything other than a "how are you," but I hope the best for him in life lol

Still love Jules and Dan, and we made a three person alliance, but I haven't talked with either of them much one on one since it happened.... I really need to step the social game up eventually, but right now, I'm coasting, and maybe that's what I need before I find the time and resources in this game to strike!!

The idol hunt is hard but Dan seems onto something. Honestly he's gonna be a big threat sooner or later so he's sticking around as long as I can keep him! The last two games I've been in I've seen "goats" get dragged to the end and locked in final 3 positions, and then these perceived goats have ended up winning. so I want the big players in this game to rise to the top and fight it out in the end!

let’s say i am como we dice.. fed up with a lot :flushed: a lot meaning joshua starting to get on my nerves a bit! he’s genuinely sweet n all but.. the way he complained about us losing by putting down others work HHH pissed me off. which is why i will be voting him out hehe.. but so far my misting has worked because no one wants to vote me out! mwah

Slytherin killed the memory challenge. We thought we were all gonna flop bc all of us thought we sucked at memory stuff. um well we knocked it out of the park? Ravenclaw got 4 and huff/gryff got 1. We got 7 so oops. I do hope things turn out well for Gryffindor but no one I really know/care about is in that house so I'm not too worried. I hope they continue to lose or even hufflepuff since ravenclaw has 2 of my friends in it.

I have been TERRIBLE with confessionals but only because there's really not been much going on? I have an alliance with Dan and Owen, and even though I wrote off Joanna I was DEFINITELY wrong in doing that. Miguel is sort of the outlier. Our team is kinda iconic though? We've done so well on all the challenges. I might be the weakest link? More to come.

it's pretty sad but the whole tribe has agreed to vote max if we lose, basically he's just never around because of what's going on at home and like thats sad but... we gotta do what we gotta do *shrug*. I'm really feeling good about Hufflepuff moving forward, i've never bonded this much this easily with EVERYONE on a tribe and i just feel like if we keep winning or even if we lose and have to vote out max, we could be a great group for the future. especially i feel great about working with kevin, we dominated eve's game after eve came between us in 2020 that dastardly witch... :P (juuust kiddin. love ya!) but now we could totally do well in this game too i think.....

lily and ruthie are just so sweet and we really bond talking about pretty much anything,, especially lily is a great conversationalist and i just find it so natural to talk to them both. i'd love to work with any combination of people from hufflepuff in the future, hopefully i start sucking a little less at all these challenges. i think i did pretty great on memory :D

So here is the summary of what has happened since last time

We had a reward challenge that was drawing. Mine sucked. Apparently 3/4 so no reward.

We played Telephone. My team didnt realize that details are the most important parts of that and didnt share then with Autumn so Autumn didnt share them with me. Then I didnt know them when asked about them.

We scored 1 point and lost. Since I still have no alliance I'm scared that it could be me. So I kind of got an idea how everyone was feeling.

Juls let me know she wanted to vote Joshua and- it's not me so that's fine!

Then I was talking to Autumn about it and - OOP! Josh asked to be voted out. So unless he plays an idol I'm supposing he is leaving after asking to go.

woo my tribe won immunity!! we are safe! i’m glad bc i’m forming good relationships with ppl on my tribe. i think we all get along rly well so i hope we keep winning. the challenge was fun and i slayed bc i’m skinny mwah

Ya know what’s refreshing? Being on a tribe that actually wins!!! The last three games I’ve played I’ve been on flop ass starting tribes.

Now we’ll lose every challenge

10 minutes later

This sickening bitch just found a hidden immunity idol!!!! Good until f6 L A D I E S!!!!!!

HI BARBS SO I WAS GROUNDED SO I MISSED THE CHALLENGE BUT MY HUFFLEPUFF BABS SLAYED SM SO IM LIVING

CONFESSIONAL 2.1 —

Not much strategy has happened this episode, just simply tribal bonding! We are SlytherWINNING, getting reward and immunity this time! How wonderful.

Regarding my tribe mates, I love all three. I pray, pray, pray we make swap, i do Noh want to be a dirty bad guy and have to vote one out.. yet. Haha.

I was drunk during immunity, one full glass of rum & coke, so I am shocked that we won immunity. Honestly, I feel silly admitting I was drunk to my tribe because... if I can do that when drunk, imagine if I was sober. Competition Beast, duh.

I also gave up my run this round for the tribe to use. Was partially social, partially I just do not understand how to do the Hunt, so I might as well help the greater good. Either way, it comes off positively.

Hoping for a smooth journey for a little longer!

x nick

Joshue has basically quit at this point so I have no fear going into tribal

[g0dtier]

THANK U!! To start: I'm 19yrs old. Ok well I started work a month ago and there was an older coworker there I found attractive. Not looks, just personality. Like damn he's amazing and kind and just a Good Person. Then a few days ago he asked for my Snapchat and I was like sure why not. Hes married with kids so I didn't think anything of it. His wife is Stunning too like hot damn. But then he like ?Seemed to be flirting ya know. Flirting. At me. Like. Why. How. WHY. so I was slightly concerned(1)

2) now he's just amazing really and I can see why his wife fell for him cuz that personality is The Best. And I'm pretty open and I always connect better with adults. Always. Even when I was a kid, all my friends were middle aged adults. Idk why. Prob cuz due to life I stopped being childish years ago. But anyway, after work, I was heading to the beach. He saw on my story and asked if he could come visit before he went to work again. Why not? It's public and I trust him and myself3) Btw did I mention he's fucking 40?? Yea. Anyway while at the beach he opened up about how he likes me and he doesn't know why but it's how he feels and he leaned in and kissed me and idk what to do. The kiss was so good and I kissed back. But at the same time WTF is happening. I could kiss him forever BUT he's married. And older. Even tho I like that. He said what happens next is up to me and he'll stop 100% no questions asked if I tell him nook. hm. first of all, i want you to know that i understand (and sort of have been in) your situation completely. but also, holy shit get the fuck out of there. now.

there is nothing wrong with your feelings. honestly ive had my fair share of crushes on older people, so lmfao i know what you mean. there is legit nothing wrong about your behavior in this situation, because you like him and this stuff happens, but imma just list a couple of things on why this dude is Not the person you feel he is and why his behavior is really, really scary. It’s not gonna be fun but please, im gonna go ahead and feel like you came to me because you (hopefully) value my honest opinion, so please hear me out.

You have known him for a month. He is 40 years old. This is legal, but ask yourself, even if he’s super funny/charming/caring/seems responsible, what kind of person would cheat on his wife and kids with a 19 year old colleague that he’s known for a month? Like I said, the fault here isn’t with you, but any person who legitimately acts this way is not as charming as he seems. Especially with him having multiple kids (im gonna guess at least one is around 10, 11 years old? youre less than twice that age). Parents should be responsible and know how creepy it is to cheat on your spouse with someone who’s literally barely legal.

He is your colleague. You have worked there for a month, I’m gonna go and guess he’s worked there for several years. He has authority over you, and not just in the “he’s been here longer”, as in “if you let him put you in a vulnerable situation he could literally ruin your fucking resume. If he’s good friends with the bossman, as soon as he feels in danger/you do something he doesn’t like, he could probably get you fired AND have the bossman write down a bad review for future companies who might do background checks. He could blackmail the fuck out of you if needed. Relationship with a colleague? Bad idea. Relationship with a significantly older colleague who has this kinda authority over you? No.

Again, I know you feel like his personality is the best and he probably wouldn’t do that, but he knows DAMN WELL he shouldn’t be trying to bed you. Nobody puts their wife, kids, job AND public rep as “not a fucking creep” on the line within a month without being damn confident that they won’t get caught. Hence the blackmail part above.

The whole “You can stop this at any time if we do this” is a ruse. You can’t. He has power over you.

The “I don’t know why I like you I just do” is also a ruse. He’s 40. He’s married. He is not some inexperienced 20yo who doesn’t understand his own feelings. If he’s still in the stage of “idk why i like u i just do so i cheated on my wife and kids to be with you on the side” at 40yo and married then there’s something mentally wrong with him.

Imagine if you went and took his offer. Aside from the vulnerable position he puts you in, imagine if you fully fell in love with him. I am 100% sure he’s not gonna make it public that he’s dating you. You will be the secret. Which will make you even more vulnerable, especially if you’re emotionally invested in him. You will be a 19yo in a secret relationship with your 40 year old colleague who also has a wife and kids. This is not a happy way to live. No matter how much you like him now, that kind of relationship is never worth it and he knows it and he does not care. If he felt like you deserved a healthy, happy relationship, he wouldn’t have kissed you because he knows he couldnt provide that if he tried.

Imagine IF, against all odds, he decided to give up his wife and kids to live a happy life with you. Imagine he dies at 60. You will be the 40 year old widow.

This is not a healthy situation, this is not a life you want to live, and he knows it anon. He’s so damn sure about his safety in this situation that he went this far within a month. His wife, kids and job will be gone if anyone finds out about this and still he did it. He’s sure he won’t get hurt because he knows he’s got you in the palm of his hand. Which is logical, and 100% not something you could do anything about, but it’s super fucked up of him to do.

This is probably not the answer you were looking for, but the only one I can give. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. I know that you’re probably reading this and thinking it’s not true because he’s so sweet and caring and is giving you the time to think about it, so it doesn’t feel creepy, but please look at this situation from a objective point of view and see how creepy this is.

No respectable married adult would put their family and job on the line to have an affair with someone they’ve known for a month, no matter their age. His age just makes it even more shitty for you because you’re more vulnerable now than if he was your age.

Again, nothing in this situation is your fault. When I found out about how my situation was actually really bad, I blamed myself for not noticing it sooner and not “being more mature” or whatever, but it literally doesn’t matter. You’re not the one at fault here but there’s absolutely something wrong with him.

I’m going to bed now because i should’ve been in bed about an hour ago, but i couldn’t not respond to this after getting the 2nd message. I hope you’re ok, I hope you can maybe find a trusted person to talk this over with (not necessarily an authorative figure immediately, but someone you can earnestly talk to about how you feel) and I hope to god you’ll stay away (or even just friends if necessary) from him and stay safe. This can only go wrong and you probably realize this.

[haydenstudiesblog-blog]

i'm starting my sophomore year of high school soon and i'm completely stressing out. i finished freshman year 4th in my class and a uw gpa of 98 and w gpa of 103.3. (my gc hasnt converted it to the 4.0/5.0 scale for me yet). i'm beyond nervous for this year because i now have such high expectations for myself. i'm also taking 2 college level classes and i don't know if i will be able to handle the workload. can you give me some tips on handling stress/doing well in rigorous courses ? thank you !

Well first let me just say this: you remind me so much of myself and my boyfriend right now in the fact that you’re giving yourself such high expectations and you’re already stressing about meeting them! Take a moment to relax; a tip I have yet to actually practice myself is to relax. If you aren’t relaxed, you’re just going to stress yourself out even more, if that makes sense. If you walk in with a bunch of stress and worries, they will only get worse.

I, myself, am in college and am taking on an overload and I took 2 summer classes, neither of which I have ever done before. I was nervous and I really needed to do well, and I knew that. I had my heart set on doing well, and I took/am taking the time to sit down and give all of my attention to the work I need to get done... and I did well, and I’m still doing well!

Relax. Don’t worry before you have anything to worry about.

Make sure you make time to do the things you enjoy doing, whether that be reading, binge watching some Netflix, vegging out on the couch for a couple of hours. A lot of people say that you have to stay productive 24/7, but in my experience that’s not the case. That’s how you get burnt out. Stay productive, maybe, 12/5?

Obviously, put your work first. It sounds like you know this and have put it into good practice, since you did SO SO SO well your freshman year, but I’ll hammer it in again anyway. Do any readings you have ahead of time so that once you’re in class or you finally get to that section/chapter, you already have at least some understanding of it and you can have questions prepared in case something doesn’t get covered in class. Get your homework done as soon as possible. That may not be directly after school because some people (like myself) have to eat something before they can be productive, or have extra curricular activities, or whatever. As soon as you are home for the evening, get your work done. If you don’t have anything due the next day, get a head start on projects or homework that is due later on. Always do at least something productive at the end of the day.

Important: have a planner, especially since you are taking a heavy workload! It will be important to have all of your assignments listed in one place. I’m not sure how your high school works, if you will know your assignments ahead of time or not. If you know them ahead of time, write them in your planner. If you don’t know them ahead of time, write them in as you hear about them.

Your college classes will probably have syllabi and will hopefully have due dates listed. When I write in my due dates, I prefer to write the assignment under the day that I want to work on it, not the day it is actually due. So if I have homework due on a Thursday, I would write it in my planner on the Tuesday before so I know to work on it. If that makes sense.

Stay organized. If you are losing assignments left and right you’re going to stress even more. Also, I like to keep all of my assignments even after I’m done taking a class because you’d be surprised at how many classes in college actually kind of overlap a little in terms of topics that are covered. Anyway, I’m taking 6 classes, so I have 2 separate 3-subject notebooks and each class has its own section. I would probably recommend getting a folder for each class as well. You could also get a binder to keep everything in so it’s all in one place, but that’s not required; I personally don’t use a binder, but that’s just personal preference.

After that, if you have time (which I hope you do, you should definitely TRY to make time), do your fun stuff. Do your vegging out in front of the TV or free-reading or what have you. You need to make time for the fun stuff, even if it’s just reading one chapter of a book before bed or watching one episode on Netflix. Even hanging out with friends, because that’s important in high school. Mental health is important as well, don’t forget. CRUCIAL. Mental health is CRUCIAL. If you need to take a mental health day, take it; you’d be surprised at how understanding teachers/professors can be when it comes to mental health.

Incentives: in my creative writing class, our professor gave us little calendars and each day we sit down and write (or are productive in some form that relates to writing, like jotting down ideas or something), we can mark off the day. I gave myself incentives to write. For example: if I write every day for a full week, I can pick an evening to binge-watch my favorite show all night, BUT I have to plan accordingly (do homework the night before or just plan it for a night I know I won’t have any homework). I have other incentives that get better and better the longer I go without taking a day off from writing. This could be hard for someone in high school to do, because it might be hard to tell when you’re going to have homework or not. My recommendation would be to get all of your homework done the day it is assigned, and if you do that every day for a full week then maybe give yourself a night off or plan a night with friends or something. My incentives go: 1 full week, 1 full month, 2 full months, 3 full months, 4 full months. I stopped at 4 months because that’s how long a semester is, and that’s when I would potentially get my biggest reward (order Stitch Fix because I’ve been wanting to try it). After 4 full months the cycle would start over, assuming I made it 4 full months of writing every day. It should also be noted that I have weekends as exceptions, but they are bonuses if I choose to write on the weekends.

Most of all: don’t get discouraged if you don’t do quite as well as you hope. I have total confidence in you, my beautiful little Anonymous land mermaid, but you need to have confidence in yourself. This is something I have learned the hard way. Have confidence in yourself, and if you don’t do as well as you hope, don’t get down. You have a heavy load, and if some things fall through the cracks (maybe you forgot to do a little assignment), it’s not a big deal. Because you’ll nail all the other assignments and make up for it. If you allow yourself to get down and discouraged and worry too much (worrying when necessary is okay, worrying when not necessary is not healthy), it will have a negative effect on your work and your well-being. Believe me, I know, it’s a slippery slope. Of course it’s easier said than done, but as long as you make sure you give yourself plenty of time at the end of the day to get those assignments done and then have a little free time to do your fun stuff, you’ll be okay.

Just a side note: if you go through my #haydenstudiesblog tags you can see a couple of posts I made about how I have been taking notes lately in terms of color-coding them to stay engaged both in class and at home while I’m just doing reading assignments. I’ve found that using fun colors actually has been helping me stay productive, surprisingly enough.

I hope these tips helped at least a little! If anyone would like to add, feel free! I’m sorry that it’s kind of all over the place, but I wanted to do it off the top of my head and just keep adding based off of my own experience and what I personally do. I may have left some things out that I wanted to include, but hey, being scatter-brained goes hand-in-hand with taking on a heavy workload (just a warning, I promise it won’t last forever).