#anyway do I have a deconstruction blog for this yes I do but this is

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

Racoon Lore that I even I forget about sometimes.

I was literally supposed to be a missionary when I started my tumblr.

Like I had an assignment and everything. Covid shot the trip dead and that was the beginning of my deconstruction from religion and the unleashing of my whump writing on the world (I had written it before but deleted it fearing that it was sinful.)

So anyway be gay do crime if god is real he’s done nothing to deserve worship!

[universalsatan]

Hey bestie, no need to answer this, but I saw u reblogged something from roach - works, and I just wanna let u know that she's a major terf

oh!!! thank you for this fr. i'm answering this bc i just wanna say that i don't have shinigami eyes and i'm on mobile most of the time, so these pointers are much appreciated <33

[solurae]

four eyes (more to love underneath the frames) — PT.1

HELLO!!! okok the prologue received some good reception so i will!!! be continuing the series :3c THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE NICE COMMENTS AND REBLOGS AND OHHHH MY GOD THE MOTHER OF NERD!MIGUEL @nymphomatique REBLOGGED MY PROLOGUE (i could die happy) ty for the food and the inspiration to start this series!!!

i’m still the process of setting up my tumblr because my ass made this my secondary blog (but idek if that changes anything… i don’t think) OH AND YES THERE IS NOW A TAG FOR THE SERIES! ALSO PLSPLSPLS DON’T BE AFRAID TO SEND THROUGH ASKS FOR DRABBLES OR REQUESTS OR ANYTHING REALLY!!! i’m more than happy to feed us both hehe

tw/cw: mmmm not any i can think of (FIXING ANY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS AFTER POSTING BECAUSE I’M COOL)

PROLOGUE?! < <

“sorry students, the projector is currently out of order so i’d like for all of you to just go through the powerpoint on your own. feel free to come up and ask questions.” the professor sighs as he closes his laptop and settles down onto his desk, the chatter of other students and laptop keyboards create the perfect white noise for your 8AM lecture.

you weren’t really that keen on studying this period anyway so you’ll just get it done later but god he looked so much better up close. why did miguel have to be so fucking dorky and hot and cool all at fucking once? it bothered you that miguel has never spoken to you. ever. but with that in mind, no one would ever think of the effect this nerd had on you, not even the nerd himself.

“oi mate, mandem depending on you to pass this class.” you shake your head after you’re slightly shoved to the side of your desk by none other than your best friend bad influence. hobie, hobie, hobie… you groan as you look his way, legs propped up on the desk as if he’s completely unaware that he’s in an lecture hall. next to him is peter, trying to shove hobie’s legs off the table for fear of accidentally hitting miguel who was seated right infront of you.

peter and hobie were the angel and devil on your shoulder that manifested into your closest friends. it was so hard to make friends (partially because you weren’t interested in anyone aside from miguel) and that everyone in your class were already in tight knit friend groups, and it was clear they all wanted to keep it that way with the silent treatment and one-sided conversations. but that didn’t matter. what did matter was that neither of them were taking this class seriously.

hobie - for god knows what reason - just took the class for fun. well, hobie took it out of spite. he said and you quote, “it is my take on deconstructing the stereotypes and preconceptions of particular social groups alongside us punks that dictate that we lack the desire and strive for academic feats”. and you know what? for someone who likes to laze around and count the panels of wood used on the ceiling for half the lecture, his high grades put his narrow-minded folks to shame. oh and peter? although he couldn’t afford to skip his classes, he did anyway. mary jane, MJ - the mother to his children, as he calls her - is in the humanities elective they both share. and peter might as well skip that class instead of looking at MJ as if she invented humanities. you don’t know how watching you and hobie bicker was a better investment of peter’s time but no one was complaining. someone had to remind the both of you of operation miguel mutation, or in other words, get his gaze out of his books and onto your face.

“so much for wanting to prove the world wrong when you’re relying on someone else to do it for you”, you scoffed at hobie, pretending to brush dust off your shoulders. he chuckled, “i just wanted to know how it feels to be those good for nothing, narcissistic capitalists, is all”. you shoved him so hard it rattled your seats and you didn’t even realise you accidentally kicked miguel’s seat until his cold hard gaze towards you even made hobie look like an art piece in the middle of rendering.

“can i help you?”, fuuuuuuck off. he sounds so fucking hot. insanely hot.

his large pitch black frames could never obstruct how chiseled miguel was, he had angular features such as his nose, his jawline and even his cupid’s bow. but these features were softened with warm red eyes and wisps of his hair coming down to frame his forehead. o’hara’s face overall was slightly scrunched, his hand gripped onto the fold away desk while he faced you, his casual attire in sweats could barely hide his build. his mouth was slightly open, the very tip of his fangs making themselves known. he was definitely a specimen, a gorgeous specimen for lack of better word. you didn’t even realise you were staring at miguel until he raised his eyebrow and glanced over at hobie, then over to peter who was just happily content watching your unplanned, unconventional first meeting.

“oh. um, no?”, you were still confused why miguel (the man you’ve been trying to get the attention of ever since the first inkling of a feeling), suddenly turned around and spoke to you—

“excuse me, may i ask that you don’t disrupt your peers during class? i’m watching you too, brown.” if your teacher scolding you like a wack ass boy in year 9 wasn’t enough to make you embarrassed, your quick descent into realising that you quite literally pushed yourself - pushed miguel, rather - to make the first move. in the worst fucking way possible. you ducked your head a bit in an attempt to avoid the gazes of your classmates only to find your shoe jammed between the gap next to miguel’s seat, missing his elbow by a mere few centimetres.

you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

so much for devising a plan to properly introduce yourself by actually trying in class by answering the lecturers questions, to the point miguel can’t help but wonder that there is in fact competition. aware of his competitive nature, miguel would try to get ahead of you or widen that gap but then realise he was all wrong from the moment you’d tap his shoulder for a question you pretend to not understand, to look as if you’re struggling so much miguel can ignore his own studies for a little while to help you. men are stupid after all. miguel doesn’t apply here but being an outcast adjacent of the entire university has its benefits, in a way where it benefits your elaborate plan from stroking miguel’s ego by helping you, to ever so slightly become more and more interested in you. once you slowly ease into getting out of pretending to be an academic victim and miguel finds the joy in being academically challenged by the one girl who braved the odds and approach the mysterious mutant, he’d ask to you to meet at the cafeteria or the library. it didn’t matter. you would then, finally then, be in miguel’s line of sight.

“if this is your way of trying to get into my pants, i’m not interested.”

papers were stuffed into bags and the squeaking of chairs reverberated the lecture theatre. people were making their way to their next class while peter, hobie and yourself shared looks of disbelief, disgust, along with hobie’s infamous expression that scream the words i fucking told you so.

what the fuck? what the actual fuck was that?

o’hara didn’t miss a beat and swivelled around to start packing his belongings, completely unaware of how his response alone completely changed and destroyed all prior preconceptions about this man - or boy as you would now call him - turns out being smart never stopped anyone from being dickhead.

you felt like you just failed a quiz you didn’t know that was happening, despite being prepared to ace it.

it wasn’t like you to fail, however. especially not to him.

[ 🩷 — TAGS! @angelicful @lilipads @zaunsin @m4dyy @okkotszn @rhythmloid @cosmicbarstardust @thespaceinbetweennothing @cu1tvenus @huniedeux @oharasfilipinawife @ilovemuppets @loonalockley ] feel free to comment if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

[lemotmo]

Hello lovely, I am the anon blog and I am so sorry! I feel your pain because life in the trenches sucks. I don't allow my stuff to be posted to Twitter either, that place is a dumpster fire of vileness. I never know what people are sending to you but I have posted a message on my blog asking everyone to take a break for a bit. I'm not sure how this became a big deal in the first place, lol, but it can be very overwhelming and is very much why I go out of my way these days to be harder to find. My ask box is a lot. I do check in on your blog from time to time and will be happy to tell people to stop sharing with you at any time. I think we're close to the end though so hopefully peace will be restored relatively soon to both our blogs. I am so sorry for any trouble, that any of my followers might have caused. You seem so lovely and I don't want to be a party to anything that is troubling or upsetting. I hope your break is peaceful 💗

Hi dear! I'm so happy to hear from you.

I have thought so much about you today. I cannot even imagine what your inbox must look like. I so sympathise.

I very much agree on the Twitter thing. I lurk there once in a while, but never participate. It's a scary place.

As you probably already read on my blog, the lovely anons that send me your messages have reached out to me asking if I wanted them to stop sending them. I told them to keep on sending them, but that I wouldn't be posting them yet. I'm just going to be laying low for a couple of days, before I resume posting them. I refuse to back down because of some bullies. I have been in fandom for too long at this point. I'm too old to be pushed into a corner. xD

Listen, the reason why your posts have become such a big thing is because Tumblr has always been a fairly quiet and peaceful place to ship Buddie. Then episode 7x04 came along and brought utter chaos. Most of us had no idea what was going on. We were flabbergasted. I just remember thinking: 'Yes, Buck is bi now. It's obvious this Tommy guy isn't going to last, so maybe we'll finally get buddie. Everyone will be happy about that.' Anyway, you know what happened next. LOL

We were all over the place during that first hiatus and 7b, never sure what to expect from the whole BT relationship or the obvious Buddie they were still pushing on the show. We needed some stability and common sense back in this fandom and your posts have partly brought that back. I have so many people in my asks talking about your posts in a constructive, meaningful and sensible way. That is exactly what this fandom needs. It doesn't need negativity and spewing hatred and slurs, but it needs logical thinking and the deconstruction of patterns. Next to that you also give us a great insight into the inner workings of fandom. I find it all utterly fascinating.

Thank you for checking in on my blog once in a while. That's really sweet. If it ever comes to a point where I need a break from posting all together, I'll make sure to let you know. But I really don't think I'll ever get to that point, because I too have a feeling that the end of all of this is near.

And don't worry. Don't feel bad about any trouble you or your followers might have caused. I made the choice to post these asks in the first place. I could have backed down at any point, but I didn't. So, no one to blame here. Don't worry.

Have a great week! Feel free to check in once in a while. Oh, when all this is over and done with, don't hesitate to jump into my DMs. I'd love to say 'hi' to the real you one day. I have a feeling we could have some interesting conversations. ;)

❤️❤️❤️

[satanicallypanicky]

Where would you suggest to start from to get into theistic satanism?

I don't think I have a particularly good answer for this but I'll try anyways, since you asked.

Start writing things down. Everything. Were you raised Christian? Have you started deconstructing your Christianity yet? How has it affected you and your worldview? Do you still hold racist or antisemitic beliefs (hint: yes)? Have you started unlearning those? Have you explored paganism or polytheism at all? Which kind?

No one comes to theistic Satanism from a blank slate. No one comes without pre-existing knowledge. What do you know about Satan? What do you believe about him? How have your previous religious experiences played into this knowledge and these beliefs? Why do you want to worship Satan as a god? What about him is calling to you? Are you mad at the Christian God and are doing this as an angry rebound? Are there gaps in your knowledge (hint: yes)?

Answer these questions for yourself. Then get to filling the knowledge gaps, as best you can. Read. Then read more. Anything you can get your hands on. Histories of Satan from the Christian perspective, the Satanic Bible. Satanic prayerbooks, ritual guides, Satanic gay porn. Watch all of Esoterica's YouTube videos about demonology. Find some not-on-tumblr blogs to read. Whatever. It doesn't matter. Watch out for the antisemitic shit, it's everywhere. Read it anyways (but don't pay for it and don't let the hate sink in). Take notes. Watch out for people acting like their way is the only way delivered straight from Satan himself, that's also everywhere. Listen to Jewish people when they tell you not to steal from them.

It's your path, unique to you. Believe what you want- there's no rules. Just do it with as much self-awareness and kindness to others as you can manage. Worshipping Satan is no excuse to be an asshole or a bigot.

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 31 - The Break

It will be so refreshing to liveblog an episode that isn't heavy on characterization or analysis, oh god, I am tired of typing words.

He is so sad and for no reason... I just want to wrap him in a heated blanket.

World's most serious case of Sads, finished off with an evil little glare.

I can imagine adult Joris doing the same thing to Kerubim even by Wakfu times. Just a cunty, unamused little gaze. I can see it so clearly. This will happen in season 4, mark my words.

Also, inside me are two wolves. One of them wants to say "perhaps it's unusual for Joris to not go hook line and sinker for whatever ideas Keke proposes", and the other wants to say "Joris and Kerubim having psychic vibe battles moment #5"

He is so unserious.

Joris loses this round in the game of mutual psychological manipulations.

(Guy who notices landmarks in this show voice) (Also, guy who, for some reason, has developed a parasocial relationship with this setpiece in a kids show voice) THE TOWER. THE FUCKING TOWER

I've already spoken on this topic, but Kerubim already being known to sell stuff and have strong opinions on the ethics of museums makes me so unwell. Especially with implications of the Crepin family being salespeople.

I am not going to elaborate. You've read my other posts. Just... yeah.

Can I get some love for non-Cra archers in this universe? The degree of unemployment must be hellish.

Also Lou has two swords, and Nella has two quivers. They are so normal.

Some may think that Kerubim is out of shape, but I will argue that this is his Farm Boy shape. His "not constantly on the road and fighting monsters while worrying about travelling supplies" shape.

He's still muscular, because Herding Animals is Serious Business, but he's got a bit of a gut going on, because there's no food insecurity, and the food he has is mostly meat and milk.

Considering old Kerubim also has the gut, — and is, notably, still very agile, — I think that this is just, like, Kerubim's natural shape when he's eating well and living like a normal person.

Sorry for overanalysing his body. I just wanted to talk about my "adventuring should be deconstructed as a concept and examined more closely, considering the multiple characters who had been ready to die "to become legends" about it. Like is all the trauma, food insecurity, and violence worth it, when the only way for people to truly respect you in this career, is to die in a cool way?" agenda.

The resemblance between young Keke in this episode and his older self is actually scary.

Say NO to alcohol, say YES to being a calcium-based lifeform.

I've never mentioned this before on this blog, but it's very likely that Kerubim is kind-of-sort-of accidentally implied to have an underbite.

It varies, whether he has his teeth in a normal bite, or an underbite, — and it is an art style choice, it happens to some other characters, albeit nowhere near as often as it does to Kerubim, — but, once you see it, and know what I'm talking about, you can't unsee it. Hell, it's on half the screenshots in this episode already!

Underbites are something that goes in families, which fits really well.

Because, like... yeah. That sure does seem like a family thing.

Together with the "pale-ish brown pigmentation around an eye or both eyes" thing, and the triangle-ish shape of their heads and snouts, Keke and Atch are the Bouba and Kiki of siblinghood.

Anyway, for transparency's sake, despite the underbite being one of Atcham's very notable character features, he is also sometimes drawn with a normal bite. Which might point towards Kerubim's underbite also being a genuine part of his character design, — instead of it being a case of animators liking the look of it a lot.

Personally, I like to think that both of them had been trying to fix his underbite his whole life by simply willing it away, and it's Not working.

If they actually realized they care about one another, and could be chill about it instead of immediately starting a Doomed Toxic Cottagecore Farm, Pangaea would reform.

Oh? You like Kerubim and Lou? Well, then, do you think Lou and Kerubim efficiently utilized girl power when they, Bontarians, went to their oh-so-hated Sidimote Moors and Brakmar, to conduct what they call a "slaughter-safari"?

This is not a Divorce Theory I usually subscribe to, but my funny crack theory is that she left him to go adventure around the world because he wanted to settle down and adopt a kid or whatever.

Truly, the possibilities of kerulou divorce theories are endless.

If they formed a polycule, Pangaea would explode.

I like to think that whatever Julith has going on is a cloak with a similar, but more complex enchantment.

This item is real, but I can't really find the sword mentioned by Lou moments prior.

I need to inject this image inside, intravenously.

...Anyway, you will never guess what my newest addition to the desktop wallpaper rotation is.

[rollercoasterwords]

hi, good evening or whichever,

so i started reading as the worm moon dies like a year ago, when u started posting i think, then left it at regulus’ interlude because of life i guess, i had a no reading streak, but then i started reading again yesterday and binged it in 6 hours because… yes. it’s fucking great. like, you’re really an amazing writer. and i’ve just come to compliment the shit out of your fic and your choices for this story. i beg your pardon for the intrusion and this long ass ask.

1. the action. as a writer myself it’s so fucking hard to pull of action scenes and fast paced moments. i never got confused on how they went to point A to B, what happened was clear but still rushed and fast paced. especially the chamber of secrets dude. i was at the edge of my seat, almost screaming at the laptop. SO GOOD.

2. james. gosh dang it. you fucking nailed it. such a hero, such a self sacrificial guy. he intrinsically believed he was good, that he would vanquish evil. and then. HE FAILS. it hurt so bad, it felt all so wasteful. and then. HE’S KILLED BY THE SISTER OF SOME MISTAKE HE MADE. he just so carelessly and accidentally killed peter, and then he can do nothing as his sister kills him. it was so fucking good. i love when every sacrifice he made was all for him not to reap any of the fruit. christ. i still get chills. i love him.

3. remus and sirius. like, your characters in general but they killed me. i love that at the start remus was hellbent on the cause, all rationality, every sacrifice was necessary. he even suspected sirius of being to cowardly for the fight but THEN. remus is angry at sirius because he went too far in his sacrifice. how cowardly am i now remus. delicious fucking food.

and yeah i could say many more things but this is your blog and i can go insane in my own head about this fic so i will.

thank you for this story, the work that you put into it, and your generosity for sharing it. i am eagerly waiting for the last two chapters :))

hi!! responding a bit late lol but no need 2 apologize i love long asks <3 so glad ur enjoying the fic!!

action scenes can def be tricky 2 write but they're also so fun <3 helps that i usually have a little movie playing in my head while i write them so i just picture what's happening + describe that lol

& james!! yeah i knew from the beginning that i wanted his character to serve as a sort of deconstruction of the whole 'chosen one' trope in the fic, so i really wanted to write someone who embodied that figure of The Hero Destined for Greatness and have his entire life build up to that & then very decidedly have him fail!! so that ultimately what kills him is sort of like a reflection of himself: not a hero, but a kid seeking vengeance. love a tragedy etc

r&s have been very fun 2 write in this fic as well...i do love a bit of irony & u hit the nail on the head w ur summary lol. i was talking to a friend abt this as well tho to give remus a bit of credit technically sirius DID do more than he strictly had to--like he could have just erased his memory up to the point where he & r got captured by poachers & still think he'd been captured by the order rather than that he was working with them when he went back w his memory erased, bc up to that point he really hadn't been working w the order! but he knew if he only erased the 6 months he was actually w the order he'd be putting a huge target on remus's back; so really the only reason he went back further & completely erased all his time w remus was to protect him. & that's part of why remus is so angry! sirius didn't strictly have to erase literally every part of their relationship, but he did it to protect r...i love when love makes everything worse <3

anyway ty 4 ur message + the kind words etc! <3

[seoafin]

gege fridging yuki and now tsumiki. shoko, utahime, mei mei, momo, miwa disappering from the plot and now i dont think nobara is coming back after reading the newest chapter which would mean that her death was handled horribly 💀💀💀

i genuinely dont understand whats going on in jjk anymore tbh either like i stopped reading after 208 and your blog was how i found out about the tsumiki thing 😭😭 i wish gege wouldve atleast utilized her in the past chapters if the plan was to kill her because the impact just. isnt there. and like what was the point of yorozu??????? to show us that sukuna is strong?????????🤔 i will actually be surprised if gege turns all of this around but honestlyyyyyyy 😬 (1/2)

its a shame that gege doesnt know how to include female characters into the plot anymore because theyre all just interesting and have wayy too much potential.

like the idea of a character who only cares about money and could go as far to exploit their own sibling like mei mei or someone like shoko who is one of the few/only people in the world who can use rct to heal people (the fact that she was in the same class with the 2 strongest sorcerers in the world and she was never shown to be afraid of them or take their shit) or someone like yuki who was the first special grade in their generation and also an spv??? (if this had been revealed during HI arc the drama would increase tenfold...) OR TSUMIKI omg this one frustrates me so muchhh like she had SO SO SO MUCH BUILD UP AND FOR WHAT??? this girl had to get into the role of a parent for her younger brother because toji sold him and left them and her mother abandoned them and left. SHE IS ELDEST DAUGHTER CODED (so much so that her perspective and feelings during a traumatic situation are never explored because shes fine if shes hardworking and doesnt complain *cough*minari*cough*) imagine going through all of this at such a young age and having to adapt constantly and pick up the pieces alone because the have to keep living. like if megumi was too young to be going through all of that SO WAS SHE????? she deserved wayyyyyy better i could go on for hours about this but. yeah 😭😭😭 basically theyre all characters who've got their own agendas and it wouldve been so much better if already existing characters had been explored rather than 1098274 new characters being introduced. i miss plant trio. nobara balanced out fushiguro's emo angstyness by bullying him. oh well atleast we have maki ��😍😍 (2/2)

no i agree with you 100% jjk had so much potential to have active and important female characters with agency in the beginning of the manga where akutami was still tying characters into world building. i think that made people (like me) hopeful for a deconstruction of gender norms and dynamics in the jujutsu world that would propel the female characters forward instead of letting them stay one dimensional but it looks as if that's what ended up happening anyway. once again i don't think akutami is intentionally sidelining them if that means anything i just think his planning and organization is off (not enough time given to develop characters other than megumi and yuuji) and that he bit off more than he could choose (having a large cast of characters). which is such a shame bc he could be doing so much more with them!!! like the narrative giving shoko the spotlight for like 2 seconds isn't even a step in the right direction it's the bare minimum!!! it's something we should've gotten during the shibuya arc!!!

also yes. i will die mad about yuki tsukumo and tsumiki. they could've been saved idc idc killing off one of the strongest female characters in your series is just plain WRONG. and tsumiki deserved to live my god.......NOT ANGEL. TSUMIKI. AGHHHHHHHH.

[0junemeatcleaver0]

Anonsense: A Deconstruction of a Bad Faith Argument

I honestly don't know why I'm even posting this. Will it be helpful for people who don't know how to immediately clock a bad faith argument? The people pleasers who might feel compelled to answer every anon no matter what? I hope so.

Do I have a bit of a bee in my bonnet after being woken up at 4am because I forgot to silence my phone only to see this bullshit after living through the most stressful week of my fucking life?? Also yes.

Whatever. At best this is a learning moment, at worst it's an opportunity to point and laugh at someone who thinks they deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for failing at being real pussy cunt-cunt in a stranger's inbox.

I am confused. You haven't watched the show but you hate the show...? Correct! You can, in fact, hate a thing you've only gotten a taste of. I saw the trailer (you know, the thing networks release to get you interested in a show?) and didn't care for what they were doing. That opinion was only cemented when I saw the ridiculous clip of Louis chasing a fucking goat around.

Something fans of colour especially black fans talk of so enthusiastically and fondly? You're right, VC fans of color are all a monolith and all enjoy the show. And the fact that I--a rando white person--hate the show is mortally wounding to them all. This is in no way infantalizing to fans of color, to imply that I somehow have enough power as some random person to ruin their good time by making posts about how silly I think this show is--posts I don't tag so that fans of the show don't have to see them.

And these fans aren't always show onlies. I know. I've talked to a few of them. They seem nice.

Idk if this ask is going to come off as bait Yes you do. You absolutely know that. And if you didn't know that, that was your clue to go back to the drawing board re: how to phrase what you meant in a good faith way.

-think of it as you will How kind of you. Thanks for the permission.

but this...you realize this comes off as some type of way, don't you? Only to the people who are actively looking to be upset, yes. And I don't care about those people. They are not of my concern.

You have had an ask that you published where the anon says they don't care that "certain demographics" of people are loving AMC. That's very very sus. 'Very very sus'. Am I suddenly on Twitter? Anyway. You do realize that book-only fans are constantly accused of belittling all show fans no matter what we say, right? That it's much more likely that anon said "certain demographics" meaning "the fraction loud, obnoxious fans who will accuse you of being immoral for not liking the show" and "people who never read the books and have nothing to compare it to" and not as some dogwhistle to mean "fans of the global majority", right? Also, my memory is shit. I may have used that phrase and if so, see the above reasoning for why I used it but also if I didn't: Why am I being held accountable for a random person's choice of wording?? I'm not anon's mom.

I don't particularly care if you answer or not. I'm sure. That's why you wrote an essay in my inbox. To not get a response.

If you block. I did. Fuck outta here.

I just had to put it there. Did you? What was the goal in this? Do you even know?

Maybe this is rude as per tumblr etiquettes. It's pretty rude regardless, but hey what do I know. I'm no Emily Post.

But this was just so odd as I am new to both the book and show fandom and while going through blogs I found yours So what I'm hearing is you're missing a lot of context for what's been going on around here and you've not realized that, is what I'm hearing. And you're either purposefully ignoring of didn't wait to find the many, many posts I've made detailing why I personally think the show is bad, why I think the white cishet frat bro turned wanna be auteur showrunner is doing a bad job of including characters of color in the text, the reblogs of fans of color who have brought up similar points, etc?

Stretch before you reach this hard, anon.

[pansyboybloom]

ur that joan of art stigmata shit blog, right? bc if so: why the FUCK did you not m3ntion you were christian? i wouldn't have followed if i had known.i dont think half the people here would have. unless you forgot the blood and sinew on your 'god' and ''his' followers hands? i come to mlm spaces to feel safe, and yall have made it super fucking clear that no queer person is safe around you. if someone wants to rub elbows with u FINE OKAY but fucking put it in your desc that your a christian so no other traumatized faggot has to find out and relive their memories of abuse. fuck you

hello. yes, @joanofarcs-stigmata is my private religion blog. i did not realize not having it posted that we were the same person would be hurtful, and for that I apologize. If you're willing to listen, I'd like to say a few things.

i do not blame you for being angry, feeling betrayed, or unsafe because I am spiritual. The church, both as an institution and outside of it, have hurt, killed, abused, genocided, and worse, people and it is not deserving of the forgiveness for the lives it has taken and ruined.

2. I'm not technically christian. I'm not technically anything. My beliefs are very against many church teachings/I dont believe in most of the core beliefs of the church, like hell, original sin, an all powerful god, etc. I barely even believe in jesus. I was raised episcopal/catholic, and was very, very religious as a child. I wanted to be a priest or a nun. but as i grew up, i saw the horrors caused by and because of christianity, as well as the disgusting doctrine, and left. I have very, very recently began experimenting with spirituality-- not christianity, spirituality-- and that blog is one way i do so.

3. im sorry that i surprised and triggered you. im sorry i didnt give a disclaimer. i didnt realize i needed to, and for that im sorry. i don't blame or resent you or your anger. when i say i hope you find peace, i dont mean in a jesus way, i mean in a healing from trauma way. i get it. i promise i do.

anyways. hi yall, i'm spiritual in a way tied to episcopal/catholicism. i try my damnest to deconstruct my beliefs and hold them to scrutiny, and i hope yall still feel safe here. if not, i understand. much love guys

-anthony/emil

[radicalitch]

ohhh i would love to know more about the bible and how its been disproven! i grew up in an evangelical household, my parents are totally alright but they will insist that every last word is true. yes, including adam and eve and the creation of the world in seven days. do you have some more facts? ❤️

hey! first, i hope im right in assuming this is about my Hebrews in Egypt post so im going off that assumption.

I blog on mobile so I’ll do my best to answer, unfortunately I can’t cite my books easily on mobile. there’s definitely videos on YouTube that go more into this if you’re not like me and don’t want to have a shelf full of books about ancient Egyptian history. anyway, here’s a short list of why there isn’t evidence of mass Hebrew enslavement in Egypt/the exodus:

- there’s no written evidence from the Egyptians. they were METICULOUS record keepers and we have an enormous amount of their writing, even little things like grocery lists and party invitations, but nothing about keeping millions of Hebrews enslaved.

there are records of Egyptians having ‘Semitic’ slaves, but at the time, that word referred to people who spoke Semitic languages. so any people from Canaan and adjacent cultures would be included, not just the hebrews, and only small numbers of Semitic slaves were recorded.

- there’s no archaeological evidence of a significant Hebrew population in Egypt or the desert between Egypt and modern day Israel. obviously we have a wealth of relics from ancient Egypt, and of other cultures that lived in the empire (Hyksos, Greeks, Romans, etc). if there were millions of Hebrews in Egypt over a span of a few hundred years as the Bible claims, it’s impossible to think they left no physical trace behind.

- the region of the desert where the Hebrews were said to have wandered for forty years also has no evidence, and certainly couldn’t support the thousands of livestock the Bible claims they took with them

- the hebrew people definitively did not have anything to do with the building of the pyramids. they were already a thousand years of by the time the Bible claims the Hebrews were there, and more than that, we have records of how the pyramids were built and who built them. they were built by ethnic Egyptians in a system similar to modern government contracting. (I know the pyramid thing is more folklore but I thought I’d include it)

i tend to believe that there were Hebrews in Egypt in much smaller numbers, but that this history was heavily mythologized and blended with other oral traditions into what we see in the Bible today, which is more or less the common consensus among most archaeologists/Egyptologists.

there’s more, obviously, and this isn’t even disputing the miraculous claims, but I hope this helps you deconstruct in some way!

(if there’s something else in the Bible you’d like more evidence against i can do my best with it in another post)

[jesusizmysuperhero]

I know I don't blog as much as I used to, I miss it, I do, I wish I had kept up on it all these years, that just reminded me, I need to change my profile pic 😅

But yeah, I got lovely "fruit snacks", jamming to music in my headphones to prevent me from going into another bout of sensory overload, playing Stray on my PS4, so far a really cute game, the starting story might get ya to tear up a lil I know I did 🥺

Anyways if you're new, I'm a pagan witch, actively deconstructing the Christian "faith" I grew up in.

I've been having a lot of mental health episodes lately, idk if it's because my lovely time of month, or whether it be BPD, I haven't been in therapy lately because I haven't had the funding, yes Betterhelp is cheaper than traditional therapy by quite a lot, but still expensive. Hopefully getting back in it this week, and back into working again, these mental health episodes (I call them that cuz idk how else to describe them) it's a lot of a shutdown state and I don't wanna be bothered in that state, it's scary, I won't go further into detail than that, for the sake of other's mental health, ik things can be triggering, I get it.

But yeah, anyways, I'm also bisexual, polyamorous (everyone's poly journey is different, no judging plz) I am a One Man Woman, but I love ALL the girls. My pronouns are she/they as I'm non-binary, occasionally he/they, so if I present masculine, typically I use the they/them pronouns, I'm not too too keen on he/him, I used those pronouns more when I was gender fluid. ANYWAYS 😂, I væp€, 🍃 friendly, 🌶️ content creator, taken by my amazing boyfriend of 3 months (going on 4 in August)

I'm in the process of getting divorced from my TBEH (to be ex husband) (together basically 3 years, married {legally at least}for what would've been 2 years back in April), that's another story for another time tho.

But yeah, that pretty much sums up a lot, oh yeah, imma be a Godmommy to another precious little Godson as my bestie is gonna have another boy 🥺❤️ Sooooo excited to spoil my (to be)* godson(s)* more and more I love them as I would my own, I haven't even met my godson's little brother yet, but I can't wait to meet him when he gets here 🥺❤️🥰

Thanks for reading y'all, I guess I could 🔌 my Wattpad work here lol, look my penname up, it's Thorlovespoptarts. 😅😅

I made the name when I was like, maybe 14-16 at that time, mind you.

Goodnight/Morning/Afternoon, whatever time it is where y'all are at! Peace!

(oh yeah, boyfriend reveal I guess 😅❤️)

(I love him SO much 🥺❤️‍🩹)

[allseeinganalyst]

Quick Thoughts - Mob Psycho 100

This wasn't how I really intended to start this blog, it's not something I planned or even something I was really that desperate to do, but as this blog was created for me to post my analysis and thoughts on the things I watch or read or... consume, and my partner and I just so happened to have finished Mob Psycho 100 - I figured I'd post my thoughts.

This isn't a full analysis. For one I didn't take any notes (something I'm going to make an active habit of doing when I do start my proper analyzing of things - I'm tired of forgetting my points - and I also never really intended to pick apart the series. These are just my thoughts. That being said - I'll go ahead and share them now:

(Image from IMBD.Com https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5897304/)

Why'd I watch it:

I started watching Mob Psycho 100 because my partner wanted to watch it. It's not a series I'd have picked out for myself. I've been semi-aware of it since the days where One Punch Man was the big thing on the anime block, and vaguely knew a similarly-toned thing by the same creator (at this point I had no idea it was a webcomic) existed, but it wasn't grabbing my interest. No particular reason, it simply didn't grab me.

If we fast forward toward the later part of 2022, my partner's other partner got access to the Funimation streaming service and shared it with us. This provided us a chance we hadn't had in a while - the ability to watch fresh anime on demand.

I won't go into the story of why or how or when, but for a few years, our consumption of fresh anime content had been shrinking. We were mostly re-watching older shows, occasionally dipping our toes into something new-ish if we could get it on blu-ray or DVD. Sometimes we'd watch a Netflix series like Aggretsuko but our viewing habits had really dried up. There's lots of reasons why - none of them were that we didn't like anime anymore, and none of them are worth going into. To be honest, I've spent too long on this part already. Let's just skip to the part where I say that my partner asked me if I'd like to watch Mob Psycho with her.

(And yes - if you've kept a track of the dates and you're thinking:

"Hmmm, wait a minute... later 2022, a new interest in Mob Psycho... THAT MUST MEAN--"

The timing wasn't coincidental, but I don't think that was the only reason my partner wanted to watch the show. Even if it was, who cares? People should watch things because they want to watch them for whatever reason!)

Anyway - The series is described as being an "Action Comedy Supernatural" series by Wikipedia, and is also what I like to call "Shounen-Ajacent" - It might not strictly be a shounen anime, but it's sitting close enough to the crowd that fans of one will likely have some degree of interest with the other. My partner is a shounen fan, and so, with the series being up her ally, she wanted me to come along and experience it with her.

I will admit, I was my usual grouchy self about it to start with - Anyone who knows me will tell you, and I must admit, that trying to get me to try something new I haven't picked out myself is like pulling teeth. It's a habit I'm trying to break.

Now that we've discussed why I watched it, we can talk about what I thought.

(Image from Rotten Tomatoes - https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/mob_psycho_100_2016)

STORY:

I've seen Mob Psycho called a deconstruction of the typical "super powered school kid" anime, and I think that's an excellent way of putting it. I won't dwell too much on this, because - again, I didn't prepare myself for a full analysis of the show - but it's worth noting that this goofy, funny, and for the most part, pretty upbeat series is a "deconstruction". The word tends to get thrown around as a substitute for "edgy and violent" in a lot of circles, so it's good to remember that, no - "deconstruction" just means taking apart a typical premise and examining it in other ways.

With that being said - Mob Psycho has a solidly founded story , which is focused on the personal journeys of it's characters. Although there are antagonistic forces, and the plot does deal with them in impressively paced arcs, there's no real "quest" that runs through the show. The heroes are not on a journey to bring down an evil empire (although that does, more or less, wind up happening). Indeed, oftentimes the series feels like a slice-of-life style show, with the twist that the character(s) we're following happen to have some pretty atypical lives. There's episodes about typical school issues, like graduation or finding the kind of club activity that suits you mixed in with some monster-of-the-week style plots and Reigan shenanigans.

Neatly slotted in between these "daily lives of middle school psychic boys" style episodes are a few arcs, consisting of batches of episodes where the tone shifts - most often to be somewhat more in-line with a typical shounen style anime - and this is where the big fights and visually stunning action sequences fit in. There's a lot of hype around these, and it's very well justified. The loose style of the animation looks incredible in such fluid motion, and - although the style of fighting isn't any different from most "battle manga" style series with lots of explosions, energy auras, mixed in with some "special techniques" that ultimately boil down to "energy attack" or "super powered punch" - it doesn't feel repetitive because the characters react and engage with the fight in less conventional ways; oftentimes being well aware of the expected outcome and defying or subverting it. Since our main character is already the strongest psychic around, a lot of the fun comes from watching him be bombarded by a DBZ Style villain, complete with named techniques and appropriate ranting, only for him to shrug off the attack and counter with a blank expression and minimal effort.

This approach will likely not be a surprise to you if you have seen any of One Punch Man. It's obvious the author (who I believe goes by "One") likes this kind of subversion. It's carried out well, and manages to keep most action oriented scenes entertaining. There are a few more standard fights - characters going back and forth, making actual efforts - sprinkled in here and there for characters that aren't Mob as well.

While the action and big fights are well done, they're solidly not the focus of the story, and probably my favorite thing about the series overall though is how consistent it remains throughout. See, it's not uncommon in series, especially those with multiple seasons, to change as they go on, and in the process, "lose" a small part of their early identity. Stories are supposed to progress, of course, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about how, for many different reasons, the series is markedly different at the start compared to the end. Things like Early Installment Weirdness or a shift in the setting. Maybe it's injecting more fight scenes, or maybe it's a setting that just vanishes from the plot, or maybe the characters act a little different (and not in the "proper character development" kind of way, I mean in the "the writers decided they wished they'd made things this way from the start" kind of way)

Mob Psycho doesn't do that. The story is solidly the same story - essentially a wacky "growing up" adventure - all the way through. While the status quo does change, it does so very naturally, and as a result of the characters actions. It's very careful to balance it's tone, so the action doesn't overshadow the comedy and the comedy doesn't overshadow the drama. It's all very well used, following eye-catchingly gorgeous fights up with breather episodes, and mixing in closer examination of characters gradually as it goes.

Honestly, I think it would have been very easy for the anime to tip in the direction of more standard shounen fare. As it got more popular, I wouldn't have been surprised if things boiled down to the standard "series of wacky episodes at the start -> transition into a super dramatic fight arc -> goofy resolution as credits role -> escalate the threat next season" formula many anime wind up taking. This approach surely would have stagnated its characters into their well defined roles, and inadvertently prevented any meaningful growth, but it doesn't do that. Although there's a fair bit of "serial escalation" from the first to the second season, especially in terms of antagonists, the third season dials it back to focus on the individual characters, introducing new conflicts not through a bigger bad, but by capitalizing on previously established personal arcs and goals.

At this point, any further story discussion is going to be about the characters anyway, so I might as well dive into that section.

(Image: https://www.devdiscourse.com/article/entertainment/1420433-mob-psycho-100-season-3-what-other-characters-can-return-apart-from-mob)

CHARACTERS:

There's definitely more to say about the story, but this is already longer than I planned it to be (good lord, if this is a quick take, what the hell is it going to look like when i do a full analysis?), I'll say that for the most part, baring a few hiccups here and there, the story is a solid one. A story is nothing without it's characters anyway, so I'm going to talk about them next.

This show has a lot of characters. Like a lot. While it's roster isn't as extensive as some of the longer running Shounen like Bleach or One Piece, it's still got quite a big cast, all the more notable because the show does go out of its way to check in on many of them, even after they've finished up their roles in the plot.

I'm not going to break them down one by one - again, this analysis has gone on for way too long already, and I'I'm not going to break them down one by one - again, this analysis has gone on for way too long already, and I probably wouldn't do a full character breakdown even if I was. There's simply too many of them.

I will say I think Mob/Shigeo is a great lead - Unlike a lot of anime characters, who despite being in school, will act and be treated more-or-less as though they were adults - he very much acts his age, regardless of his almost infinite powers. The recurrent theme of the series - that what makes you special doesn't make you better than others, nor does it necessarily make your life easier - is nicely encapsulated within Mob. All the telekinesis in the world won't help him overcome his natural social anxiety, won't help him talk to the girl he likes, and won't help him become "popular". (Although, he winds up being pretty popular anyway without realizing).

This is balanced well by Reigan - A character who's almost Mob's exact opposite in terms of character traits. He's a fully grown adult, who's close to 30 (a rarity in anime), he's naturally confident and charismatic, and he more-or-less can achieve just about everything Mob wants to, but can't - but he lacks not only any kind of supernatural power, but any kind of real "talent". He's not a genius, or a super athlete, or wise beyond what you'd expect of someone of his age. Beyond being a good con-artist, he's supremely "normal"

Better analysts than me have gone into deeper details about how these two characters play off each other well, learning and growing from each other, becoming better people because of the other, but also are not reliant on each other. The two characters are walking individual paths that happen to be side by side. It's entirely possible to split them up and continue to have them develop - and the show does in fact do this for a time, providing some really interesting insight, especially to Reigan.

As I mentioned, there are a lot of other characters, most of whom feel like a very lighthearted takes on common tropes or characters. There's Ritsu, Mob's brother and the shows version of the "super talented student council guy". Dimple, the show's frequent comic relief/semi-sorta-reformed-but-not-really evil spirit (who has an incredible arc come right out of nowhere in the third season). Teruki, who in any other anime would be a Vegeta/Sasuke/Kaiba style rival, but this series quickly turns into a kind of friendly foil for both Mob and Ritsu. Tome, who I'm pretty sure is a gentle parody of Haruhi Suzumiya with her interest in telepathy and aliens and her slack-off club members. Serizawa, the ex-villain who becomes another apprentice to Reigan and parallels Mob in many ways. The Body Improvement Club members, the most wholesome bodybuilders you ever met. The evil organization Claw, it's evil leader, his rebellious son, it's elite Quirky Miniboss Squad, it's 7th Division and their Quirky Miniboss Squad. The other Psychic KIds, who're really a bunch of useless wimps, but none-the-less try as hard as they can. The list goes on and on. Like I said. There are a lot.

Which is where I probably have to confess that - AND THIS IS SIMPLY ME PERSONALLY (for the love of the gods, please don't tear out my throat) - I didn't really have a favorite, or get overly attached to any of these characters. None of them are bad, per se, they're all doubtless fun to watch, but none of them really grab me in such a way that I'd miss them if the show wrote them out.

This is where my experience of the series differs from a lot of others, in that I don't feel super strongly about how amazing these characters are. Mob and Reigan are fantastic, but neither of them inspires the typical fan response of "HE MUST BE PROTECTED" (for Mob) or "OMG MARRY ME BABYGIRL!" (for Reigan) in me. It's really a "me" thing, I certainly see why people do find these characters very compelling, especially as I imagine a lot of people really can relate to that awkwardness that Mob endures. It might just be that, even though my own school experience had a few similarities, I don't feel quite so invested in the life of someone like Mob. Again, he's not a bad character, he's written very well, I personally just don't connect with him, or feel especially compelled by his story.

I do relate to Reigan a bit though. As a nearly 30 year old guy, who often feels like he's somehow gotten himself over his head despite appearing somewhat successful, there were a couple of times I found myself thinking "same dude, same." He's probably my favorite character overall. It helps that he's hilarious and steals every scene he's in.

(Image: https://butwhytho.net/2022/10/mob-psycho-100-iii-episode-2-review/)

OVERALL:

Like I said at the start, I probably wouldn't have picked this series to watch on my own. It's one of those ones where, if my Partner hadn't asked, I'd have never watched a single episode. That being said, I'm absolutely glad I did watch it. Not only did it allow me to experience all the great points I mentioned above, but I'm positive in years to come, this series will be regarded as one of the greats, getting referenced and parodied in many works to come. It's always good to be aware of the stuff that becomes ingrained into the collective pop-culture memory, because it'll enhance your experience.

I want to rate the series a:

7/10

Overall, with my own personal enjoyment being closer to a:

6.5/10

Just because I didn't as invested in it as others. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it though!

As I said, in years to come, I'm quite positive that Mob Psycho 100 will absolutely be regarded as one of those "cultural touchstones" of the anime community, which means it's worth checking out for that fact alone. Should I revisit the series, I'd be interested to see if I was more invested in the characters the second time around. We'll have to wait and see.

WOW! This really got away from me! I wanted to post my thoughts, but as I wrote, I just couldn't stop! I'm going to be watching an old favorite of mine soon and hope to do a proper analysis. Break down the series and what I think of it, and see if I still love it.

Hopefully these'll be a bit shorter in the future - I think the long stuff should be reserved for my actual analyzing.

Anyway!

That's that!

[counttwinkula]

the thing is that nobody ever said that cohen's theses are infallible. you are by no means compelled to agree with him—at least half of academia is composed of people disagreeing with one another to branch off new theories

you might be interested to learn that there some major contributors to the field of monster studies are feminist theorists: julia kristeva, barbara creed, carol clover, jack halberstam, to name a couple off the top of my head. clover in particular writes at length about rape revenge films; it's been a while since i read that essay but i do believe that she deals with how these films deal with the complex situation of violence both enacted upon women and enacted by women

i don't think that "women want to be the victims of violence" is an accurate reading of these theses, though. a good deal of scholarship on horror films has to do with identification—for example, whether viewers of a slasher film identify with the victims or with the slasher. (a lot of this discourse draws on writing by laura mulvey, another prominent feminist theorist.) cohen's assuming identification with the monster, a concept which does have feminist possibilities in hoping to assume the monster's power and destructive (or deconstructive) potential. that's why there are films like jennifer's body and teeth

i'm also wracking my brain to come up with what works of culture you're thinking about, where a woman creator depicts male violence toward women. frankenstein's monster certainly enacts violence against some women, and there's a lot of interesting scholarship that argues mary shelley probably identified with both victor and the monster. by and large the movement of feminist horror revolves far more explicitly around both women's empowerment as well as the monstrous feminine

so there's a bunch of sources you can check out and research avenues you could go down if you were interested in feminist writing on horror

you know, one of the major reasons so many feminist scholars are interested in monster studies and horror criticism is because monsterization can also be undertaken as a political project. depicting the Other as monstrous is a historic tool of marginalization and dehumanization. it has been used as a justification for colonialism and genocide and violence and subjugation of minoritarian peoples (the monster dwells at the gates of difference). you're probably familiar with the ways in which women have been monsterized as witches, as a means of social control to enforce that they act within socially acceptable parameters (the monster polices the borders of the possible)

there's a major irony in the book "the monster show" by david j. skal. he spends most of the book discussing exactly what i was just describing, how majoritarian mass media turns minoritarian subjects into monsters in order to justify their disenfranchisement. and then, all of a sudden, he starts quoting "the transsexual empire" by janice raymond! and it's like, what the fuck dude. do you not see what you're doing?

because yes, your blog proudly proclaims that you are an Adult Human Female, and we all know that's a TERF dogwhistle. but what you're doing is just the same monster show we've seen a million times before. and instead of fighting real, provable, extant systemic oppression at the hands of a cis hetero patriarchal white supremacist colonialist neoliberal capitalist system, you're don quixote charging at transgender windmills. you think that demonizing and vilifying trans women is somehow going to dismantle systems of oppression, but you're just participating in one!

anyway everybody read susan stryker's frankenstein essay pretty please:

And we do have something else to say, if you will but listen to the monsters: the possibility of meaningful agency and action exists […] Be forewarned, however, that taking up this task will remake you in the process.

hey did you know that uhh

i. the monster's body is a cultural body

ii. the monster always escapes

iii. the monster is the harbinger of category crisis

iv. the monster dwells at the gates of difference

v. the monster polices the borders of the possible

vi. fear of the monster is really a kind of desire

vii. the monster stands at the threshold… of becoming

[norcalbruja]

Script-writing semi-progress!

[Note: The first half of this post is from my actual writing blog.]

So with my dead-end life and non-existent art career, I spent a while venting in one of my writing Discords. I'm just spinning my wheels trying to get LITERALLY ANYWHERE with my novel drafts, my poetry, my short stories, and a theater script that I'm probably going to convert into a comic series or some kind of serial/online series, and I'm just not fucking getting anywhere.

This hurts especially bad because I write about FILIPINO mythology, and I've been asking FILIPINO theaters if my script is cool and people want to like, workshop it or keep an eye out for when the first draft is finished. Of the few people who actually answered me, the general consensus is that IT SOUNDSSSSSSSSSSS COOL, but it's too expensive and nobody wants to take a risk on unpublished/new writers.

And I'm like "great, so you like it, you just want SOMEONE ELSE to take a risk on it."

The script is called "Takotsubo: The Story of a Superhero." It's about a bunch of Asian gangsters/superheroes who roam around Oakland, California, trying to heal from their damage and dealing with the media, who treat them WAY differently than they'd treat white superheroes. After they recruit their only Filipino-American member, she ends up being the only person with ENOUGH knowledge of hostile Filipino spirits to keep everyone alive--but luckily, she attracts the Filipino gods as well, who know that a half-trained and very short mage cannot be expected to handle the likes of the aswang and the bantay-tubig with just some kalis sticks and her anger issues.

Everyone (and by extension, the audience) then learns about the CULTURE-SPECIFIC shitstorm that is Filipino colonization.

I have currently asked six or seven of my Filipino actor friends about it, and three people asked me to send the current script! I've got everything in some email drafts, but I'm just trying to work the nerve up to press the damn "send" button, lmao.

I did tell them it's a gangster AND superhero script, but like... I'm still worried they're going to wince and go "no, even if you're literally deconstructing the stereotypes, I don't think I can do this."

--

So I emailed my friends and am waiting on the others to message me back.

Araw the Sun is just... flat-out ordering me to "GO FUCKING ASK YOUR PINOY FRIENDS ABOUT THIS. RIGHT NOW. DO IT!!! YOU ARE DESPERATE AND YOU WANT HELP, SO I WILL GIVE YOU HELP!"

Araw is yet another Tagalog spirit who said he'll help me, but unlike the others, he's actually brutally honest about how he knows I don't believe him and I don't even know if he's who he claims to be, and he's just constantly going "DO IT ANYWAY. YOU NEED HELP, I'M GIVING YOU HELP."

He's supportive in the most angry way possible, lmao.

Like this guy is constantly going something like, "WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE OTHER ANITO??? WHY HAVE YOU SPENT YEARS IN THE FUCKING WILDERNESS WITH ONLY A GIANT SQUID AND A BUNCH OF REPTILES??? FINE, I GUESS I'LL HELP!!!"

And maybe he's a figment of my imagination or someone like Eric Draven as "a non-famous Tagalog spirit who took on my interpretation of Araw from my stories," but one thing that struck me a couple days ago was how I was Desperate Again and asked him for as much help as he could give me.

And once I was done, he was like "Yes, that's good enough, I'll get to work now."

I asked him, "...Okay? You don't want to stay a bit, or eat breakfast or something?"

And Araw told me, "I do not pretend that you love me. It seems that's for Haik and the other anito. You begged me for help, the same as as you begged the dead man, and the squid, and the crow, and all those foreign gods. Why shall I eat the food of someone who howls like a starving creature? Or play the kind god to a woman with no money, stuck in a job that she hates? You have as much choice in this as a beast lured into a trap, and if Ulupong is right, the other anito don't treat you any better than one."

And I'm like, "Well, that kind of hurts, but thanks for being honest, Araw."

Honestly, it IS very relieving that Araw just drops in to help me, listens to me say the same things over and over, and then he goes off to do stuff without trying to talk to me or being dramatically "concerned" about my situation, that I constantly tell the spirits I'm tired of explaining.

[joiesjourney]

Back to Tumblr! What to see and what to expect...

Hello! I'm back at it!

I can't believe it's been a solid three years since I last visited tumblr! I've been using it since high school which was, like, more than ten years ago, wow. 2014 has been ten years already? As much as it hurts to admit that we're all grown up now, yes, we are indeed adults now (shocking), and the adults we once looked up to are now super adults, and as a collective, we all still haven't figured it out. (Un)fortunately, no one knows exactly what they're doing. Surprise, surprise! Especially to the younger generation.

I'd like to think that us Millenials, we belong to the generation of transition. Our childhood was spent playing outside and during our teens, cell phones showed up along with the rise of social media. Friendster, MySpace, Facebook. All of those. At present, we're seeing how kids have become so obsessed with little devices that ate their lives. It kinda did ate our lives too, for better or for worse. We've come to a time when having no facebook, instagram, or even linkedin social accounts is considered "weird".

Anyways, I am back to using Tumblr again. It's probably just me who cares haha, but I've always had a little bit of passion for writing and blogging and one Saturday morning, I woke up and thought, "Heck, you've been living in your head, better find an outlet to release those and feel better." And writing down my thoughts always gets the job done. But this is far from being a diary lol. You won't see any "Dear Diary" prompts in here haha. The goal of this blog is to merely share my experiences, just to tell the little adventures I've been taking, and to also probably let someone know that they're not alone in their own journey.

For the 27 years that I've been existing, I've always known myself as a deeply feeling individual. Experiences just register more strongly. Sensitive. Introverted. More comfortable in writing than talking. Due to this personality and temperament, I grew up being reflective. About life. About the world we're living in. About encounters. It's a wonder, really. How we all came to live at this point in time. I don't believe that we exist by chance. I am convinced that there's something, Someone, who created and governs all things. I believe in God and in Jesus Christ. I believe that the God who created the universe loves me and all humanity, so He gave His Son to save us from our self-inflicted misery and death. It may also surprise people that I'm currently in the middle of deconstructing my faith. I have been a Christian all my life and I grew up at church serving through music and leading younger people in their faith, but I do have a lot of questions. I know that it's not that simple and I want to learn more. So here I am, in a wrestling cage with God, together with my experiences and my emotions. These are a few of the themes that I'd like to include in this blog.

And yes, I will also post some sceneries, coffee cups, outfits, and cute little finds in the city where I currently live. Hey, I know how to be unserious too haha. But yes, this is the life of a young Christian immigrant woman in self-discovery (I still like to consider myself young, maybe until I turn 50 lol).

Hope you're all safe. Your cup full and warm. Thanks for stopping by!.