#anyway again none of this is happening soon i just need to accept the reality of the situation
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trying not to think about it but also i need to figure out what im gonna do with my hermit crabs and it's not like. urgent but at some point im gonna have to figure out how to change out their substrate and also there's a solid chance i'll have to rehome them someday :(
#(not rehoming them anytime soon but i wanna mentally prepare myself a little for when that day comes)#anyway re: substrate change. this is a 45gal tank filled with ~50lbs of sand etc. and i live in a 4th floor walkup#playsand comes in 25lb bags which i am not physically capable of carrying up 3 flights of stairs. my ex had to do it when we moved here#maybe i can like. hire someone to carry it up the stairs???#but then i have to figure out how to dispose of their current substrate which again. LOTS of sand.#i could probably board them at work for a week or so in a smaller tank while i do the changeout#idk man it's just like. a lot#i feel bad their tank is so fucked and it's like. i can't physically fix the problem!!!#and as far as rehoming like. idk if move out someday i really doubt im gonna wanna move the tank.#i guess it depends on what kinda living situation im going to#and eventually i'll have to move out. or my roommate will move out and i won't be able to afford the mortgage on my own#and still have to move out lol#anyway again none of this is happening soon i just need to accept the reality of the situation#and like am i really gonna go through the nightmare logistics of a substrate change only to rehome them soon after?#but on the same token. am i really gonna give someone a nasty-ass tank? lmao#so. idk. i gotta think on that one.#i just feel bad for them i mean they have a fairly good quality of life#especially considering what most hermit crabs suffer lmao#but. i wish i could do better for them#i could probably find someone to take them at least because of my job lol#the logistics will suck no matter what and also i love those little guys and i'm getting sad just thinking about it :(#but they're only gonna get bigger and i definitely can't upgrade their tank in my current living situation#so either way something has to give ya know?
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The argument/make-up in 2x04 is really one of my favourite Tarlos stories because I just love when conflict in fiction is the direct result of two people’s individual traumas bumping up against each other, rather than someone being a villain.
Both of them in this episode are coming from a place of having a large trauma in their past that the other doesn’t know all the details of. Carlos hasn’t told TK anything, at this point, about how his coming out went and how much pain he is in every single day because he feels like his parents don’t fully accept him being gay. He avoids the topic of his parents at Owen’s party when TK brings it up because he’s in a honeymoon phase with TK and he’s never had that before with anyone. He believes – like he says at the end when they make up – that he might never be able to have a real relationship. And he does likely know that at some point they’ll have to discuss his parents but he has never been as happy with anyone as he is with TK (insert season four context of he felt broken until the day they met) and he isn’t ready just yet for the dreamy bubble they’re in to be burst by reality.
So he deflects, in what will become a signature personality trait of Carlos’s – chronic avoidance and making jokes to get out of conversations he isn't ready to have. And then by accident they run into Gabriel and Andrea, and Carlos, still not ready to do this, panics and introduces TK as his friend. He knows he shouldn’t have done that, but trauma, so he acts like he doesn’t understand why TK is upset and he makes a joke out of it. He’s been anxious this whole time about how TK, who is so out and loud and proud, is going to react when he finds out Carlos is still half in the closet, and this is the very reaction he was so afraid of and why he avoided it for so long.
None of it is done with malintent, it’s all self-preservation and learned coping mechanisms from things in his past that have left such deep scars, but TK doesn’t know that, so it hurts him anyway.
TK, meanwhile, is still pretty fresh off of getting his heart broken so badly that he tried to kill himself. He went to Austin in a truly horrendous state of pain and trauma and heartache. He wasn’t planning on meeting his soulmate so soon, he wasn’t ready to meet his soulmate because of how much his heart was still in tatters, which is why we get him being so wishy-washy in season one. By early season two he’s also very much in that honeymoon phase, but that doesn’t mean his wounds are fully healed yet. He asks Carlos about his parents, it feels implied in the party scene that it isn’t the first time he’s asking about them. He’s given Carlos the opportunity to have the conversation that they need to have, but Carlos has changed the subject.
Then they run into them. TK is so happy to meet them, and then so instantly crushed when Carlos introduces him as a friend. He’s upset all the way home, and Carlos – for reasons TK doesn’t understand yet – is acting like it’s not a big deal. TK storms out because that’s how he copes with things at this stage in his emotional development, and leaves some hurtful words for Carlos as a parting gift. Not a mature way to handle things, but in a later scene with Owen and Gwyn it’s revealed how hurt TK really is. “I wanted him to tell them who I was and what I mean to him,” TK says, all dejected. “Maybe he did. Maybe we are just friends.” Because Alex also told TK "I love you", and then cheated on him. TK’s lingering Alex trauma bubbles back up; fuck not again, not another man who says ‘I love you’ to my face but then hides me and doesn’t really want forever with me, even though that isn’t really what’s happening with Carlos.
If it wasn’t for Alex, TK probably wouldn’t have been half as upset by any of this and would have been more receptive to hearing an explanation, but Carlos doesn’t know that, so it hurts him anyway.
It’s just such good conflict. They’re both right, and they’re both wrong. They’re both operating from places of extreme hurt that isn’t the other person’s fault, and they’re both operating from places of not understanding the extent of what the other is going through. And in the scene where they make up you can see how much love there is and how much they both really want to understand the other better. It’s such a beautiful way to love someone, to say to each other “let me meet you where you are and love you the way you need to be loved, even if it’s different from how I need to be loved.”
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“I’ve got you.” (to Akechi) - @fantomevoleur
Send “I’ve got you” to help my muse wash off blood from their body / accepting!
Akechi feels as though he's being boiled alive.
━ there's a diffused nature to it, now, after the long night left him like a dull blade, ground against concrete. The way frosted glass diffused light, some things are lost in transition, some details decided to be too insignificant, and he finds himself unable to distinguish between the full-body ache and the hot water, nearly sweet. ━ no, instead he finds himself viscerally aware of the movements of the body next to him, limbs moving and the rippling in the water it causes, steam funneled, redirected, fuming off the skin. It's foreign in a lot of ways, but not as many as he'd expect ( he supposes, in a keen way, that the little meetings they'd had prepared him for this. He considers its intentionality. He resolves, to some extent, that it's coincidence for these things to align the way they have, if only out of timing. He would have never known. None the wiser. None the wiser. )
Lost to the world for all but a moment, but the dull blade rings when the water hits a welted, lacerated part of his back : a sharp breath through grit teeth jarring him back to reality. Idiot. ( he couldn't expect Akira to control every way the water fell, but a half of him, kicked & bitter, held to the moment latched like it had talons, bleeding into the rest of him. )
To Akira, all the notice he betrays is a harsh breath, a stiffness in the body, and the strain of the vein of his neck as the blood spirals in the water. To those less observant, this would be nearly nothing. To the right people, they know what to look for. He finds himself like a fixation returning to why Akira was here in the first place. A lack of understanding. A want to. A need to. he rolls the idea around like a marble and comes to the same conclusion he has been each time he does; out of pity.
He balls his hands in the old towel wrapped around his waist, and bids himself to be grateful that at hours like these, the staff and service were practically nonexistent. He finds his spite only deepens. ( his idea for the hot water, anyway... )
" Please, try to be careful. I wouldn't want to burn the skin around the wound. It wouldn't be very fun for anybody if that happened. " Goro's voice comes, tarry and sweet enough despite the tense of air in his chest. he scrapes his nails down his arms, littered in small cuts and scrapes, and pretends not to realize how his nails catch on the disrupted skin and the dried blood. " I appreciate the help, though. That one is in a hard spot to reach...! "
One he's reached before. one he'll reach again. the way he speaks about the wound is nearly the same as radio announcers on radio novellas. Nearly lifeless, in a way. He reminds himself to keep up the act.
he cranes his head to look backwards at Akira, look down his back, hair plastered to his wet skin. on the center length of his back, arching over his ribs like a lightning strike, multiple cuts, the worst among them about 7 inches long, 5 millimeters deep. He can just see a couple of the emergency stitches already popped from the little while they'd been holding the wound shut, white threads reddened and sticking out from the skin. Useless.
Perhaps more amicably, he notes a " I'll have to redo the stitching properly soon, although most of the blood has already tapered off... " before turning back forward, and with a little more resolution ( and a little more abrasion ) begins scrubbing away at the dried blood where he can, noting that he'll have to clean the bath thoroughly himself before they leave, and trying not to twitch like a white hot coal when the feeling of touch on bare skin is more jarring than the pain he's tending to.
#WOA LOOK I WROTE A THING!!!! (ofc its akechi being a bitch)#brain set this perhaps after mementos or smth? im unsure since i havent hit that part in the game yet (only right after kaneshiros palace)#so its up to u!!! but i hope this is alright!!#━ ♔ to jump from anywhere & make it home : threads.#━ ♔ you sing but only the pavement listens : ic.#MUSE / Goro Akechi#ROLEPLAY / Goro Akechi#fantomevoleur#p5 //#injury //#blood //#ask to tag //
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(in her grey dimension btw after her expulsion )
Her blade rested in her lap, covered in blood as Pandora stared at it. She has rid hell of another sinner, another evil that corrupted the lands. Her eyes narrowed as the Crimson liquid dripped onto her clothes, staining them scarlet.
"I thought you wouldn't have the guts to even come here after the stunt you pulled. "
She recognized the voice as soon as it reached her ears as she swiftly turned to face the source, lowering her gaze notably.
"after all that time and effort I spent on you, just look at yourself. So... Flawed, so imperfect."
"I apologize for having been this much of a disappointment. I clearly am not worthy of your grace. "
"That you aren't, my dear but I'm feeling generous."
He took calculated steps towards her, lifting her chin up with a firm grasp.
"You aren't beyond salvaging and I'd hate for my project to go to waste. "
A glimmer of hope..
She could be redeemed on the eyes of her creator.
".. Really? "
"Yes . All we need to do is remove impurities from you. "
Moving back, he summoned a blade throwing it infront of her.
Staring at the spear, she looked back up at him. Seeing the surety in his face, she didn't hestitate to pick the blade up, pointing it towards her self.
In one swift motion, the blade was tearing through flesh (??).
Pain shot through her body as Pandora simply bit her lip to avoid any display of rit. She couldn't show that infront of her creator.
One the spear was completely throug, she looked back at her creator, a pleased look on his face.
"Good job."
He went around her, tracing the remaining part of her wings. Hand tighteded around the bone of the past wings as he twisted them and yanked them out.
Immediately Pandora form cracked, sort of glitching in and out of reality as her Nas dug into the ground,doing her best not to scream.
"Theyll grow back. And now that you have been cleansed I want you to come to me after those wings of yours sprout back. "
"But they won't accept me back not after what I did. "
"That's not for you to worry about. I can pull a fair share of strings for everyone to let you in. "
"Right.. Thank you for this second chance. "
"Hmm, but you better not mess up again. I'd hate to have to kill my favorite toy if she becomes useless. "
"I swear I won't let it happen again. "
With a hum, he walked away and out. As Pandora finally yanded the spear out of herself. It was covered in blood, her blood. She didn't understand at first what it was suppose to do but seeing her halo turn back to her original color, she smiled. If this is what it takes to kill the pest inside her then so be it. She'd die a thousand times before she could even think to disappoint her creator. It was a gleeful feeling. Knowing she has allowed back by her creator none the less. This time, she'd make sure nothing goes wrong.
"okay now i just post aaand-"
SAVE AS A DRAFT: I LIVEEE INSIDE UU FOREVERRR
"FUCK."
ANYWAY.
this is absolute; FIRE.
I LEGIT LOVE IT. SO BADLY- IS SO WELL WRITTEN BTW- HER CHARACTER STORY IS REALLY GOOD.
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hoppingseason:
He nodded in agreement with what she had said. Colin understood what she meant when she said she had "changed,” and just the thought of the thousands of wounds that had hurt her throughout the years caused him pain in his chest. Colin wanted nothing more than for her to live a safe life where she could be everything she wanted to be. He would remove every barrier, every obstacle in her way if it meant she would be the happiest she had ever been. He gently placed his forehead against hers, feeling her breath against his face. He closed his eyes and found comfort in the warmth. Lilah had always been capable of grounding him, making him feel like he could momentarily find rest in this world.
“I believe you,” he muttered in a hushed tone. Colin opened his eyes and looked at her intently. “It will never happen again because I said so.” It was a promise that Colin would never allow harm to come her way, not now or ever. “Help me understand. Why did you keep this to yourself?” he asked, tilting his head slightly to the side. Colin was curious about what she had in mind, as Lilah always had a tendency to surprise him. Perhaps it was because her overall good nature was a puzzle to him, and her actions were often contradictory to the world he had always known. “There is?” Colin scrunched his brows in confusion, but he could tell by the bright reflection in her eyes that she was looking at something they had left behind years ago. He waited in silence, a part of him begging to hear what she had to say, yet still terrified to face the reality of it.
.
There’s a hitch in her breath and a rapid beating of her heart as Colin leans forward to gently press his forehead against her own. It shouldn’t still affect her like this. She shouldn’t still feel like a young girl falling in real love for the first time just from simply being so close to him again. Years had passed and she had shared far more intimate moments than just this with a few others - yet none of them nor anyone else had ever been able to affect her the same way Colin does. Maybe it’s because of the distance that had been placed between them for so long that has so many emotions rushing through Lilah in this moment, but also maybe not. Maybe even if she had never left he would have always had this power over her - maybe this was simply the inevitable truth of what it was like to allow herself to truly and deeply feel something for someone like this. And for a few moments, she lets herself bask in it. To simply just stand there, close to him like nothing had changed. But there was only so long that she could hide from reality and it comes crashing back as soon as he asks why she had remained silent for so long on everything that happened between herself and her ex-husband.
In truth, there’s no simple answer for that. So many different factors played into why she had stayed for so long, why she hadn’t told anyone that could have helped her, why she had essentially just rolled over and accepted it all. And admitting to all of them wasn’t really something Lilah wanted to do, ever, to anyone… But like always, it felt easier to open up with Colin than it did anyone else in her life. “I told my parents. After the first few times it happened, I asked them to help me get out,” she admits, her eyes dropping to the floor so she doesn’t have to look at him as she remembers that time. “They told me that it was my job to stand by him and help him. That… That leaving would only make things worse for him and that it was my responsibility as his wife to stay. That I had said for better or for worse and I needed to stick to that. And it would be bad for the kids to leave anyway.” It wasn’t a sentiment Lilah believed in anymore, but at the time when she had been so scared and overwhelmed, hearing from the two people that were supposed to protect her and support her that she shouldn’t leave had made it hard to find the motivation to get out on her own. “I also… Well, after a while I started to believe him, you know? That every time we fought, it really had been my fault. Or that maybe this would be the last time. It had stopped seeming worth blowing up the kids’ lives just to make mine a little bit better.” Of course, there was another key reason why she had stayed, but it wasn’t one she could admit right now - even if she wanted to. But there was no denying that at one point it had started to feel like this was her punishment - that it was what she had to deal with because of the choices she had made, it was the bed she had drawn for herself and she had no other option but to lay in it.
With having just confessed so much, Lilah should just end it there. Keep everything else that she had ever felt or wanted to herself. But as Colin questions what else she may have wanted in the picture perfect future for her life, she can’t find it in her to hold back or lie. “You,” she answers simply, the corners of her lips quirking upwards in the smallest of smiles. It feels almost hopeless to admit this, like it will only make things even more complicated between them. But what does she really have to lose? If he wanted to let her go, if another twenty years were going to pass with them rarely or never seeing each other again, what difference would it make if she were honest or if she lied? Why not own up to everything she’s still felt for him over the decades? “If you want to know the dream I have for myself, well, it’s always included you in it. Even - even when I left I never really let go of you, you know… You weren't all that easy to shake off. Not that I tried all that hard, but still - you’ve always been in my mind. And heart.”
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Is Sambucky Canon or Not?
TL;DR: Yes, it is
I've seen some people saying that they only see friendship between Sam and Bucky, and I can understand that. Because depending on your education, the environment you grew up and the kind of media you’re usually exposed to, you will have a different interpretation of different situations, in real life or in TV. Just let me insert a short story before I dive into the Sambucky topic:
My best friend's uncle is in his fifties and has been living with his roommate (a man) for more than 10 years. They lived together, went on holidays together but officially were just roommates. My best friend wondered if they were a couple, but never talked about it to her parents because it wasn't her business. Two years ago, they decided to come out and get married. My best friend's parents and his parents were genuinely surprised, they were not expecting that, at all, not even a little bit. Let me tell you that it didn’t even cross their mind that it was a possibility, at all. For them, it had always just been two men who had decided to live together because they were single. And preferred to have a roommate rather than living alone.
What I want to say with this story is that people will see what they want to see, or what they're used to see, or what they were raised to see. It’s human.
What I mean is that you will have different perception of a same event, depending on your own circumstances. And I think the writers of TFATWS were counting on that a little bit when it came to Sam and Bucky’s relationship. They obviously didn't want to make some big announcement or big love declaration.
And yes, of course, I have my own circumstances as well, influencing the way I see things. I have shipped SamBucky since Civil War, when they were supposedly enemies. I never expected anything to happen between them on screen. But then they got a show together and I was so so happy about it but I didn't expect anything other than friendship between them.
I was perfectly fine with that because a show was already more than enough: my man Sam Wilson was becoming Captain America, the show was great, the characters were great, their interactions were great, and this wasn't a love story anyway but a superhero show. I thought that here was no way the showrunners would ever go there. I changed my mind after episode 5. I tried to stay objective, but it was clear to me that the writers were hinting at a relationship that went beyond friendship between Sam and Bucky. In some of my previous posts, I explained that there are some scenes and writing choices that make absolutely no sense if you read them as a scene between two friends. I can link them if anyone’s interested.
Side note: I would like to know if one person on this website can tell me what was up with Bucky's behavior with Torres (in episode 5)? What other explanation is there, if not jealousy? It's a scene they chose to keep, so it was probably written this way, there must be a reason. Please I’m begging someone explain it to me. I'm genuinely asking, because otherwise that scene alone is canon Sambucky.
After episode 5, I was convinced they would make Sambucky canon, one way or the other and I started speculating about the ways they could do it. What I said was that if they did make Sambucky canon, they would do it in a very subtle way, in order not to make it too obvious because that’s generally how Marvel movies deal with love stories. And also because they wouldn’t want to scare away their homophobic audience ( I guess Disney needs their money...who knows)
So here are the scenes of how I imagined SamBucky becoming canon and the comparison with reality:
1.
- What I thought we could get : AJ and Cass calling Bucky "Uncle Bucky" - What we got: AJ and Cass running up to Bucky and playing with him. This point is interesting because it’s also related to the point I made about how the environment you grew up in influences your perception of things. I grew up in a big family and I know that, at least in my family, kids don't run up to an adult like that just because it's their uncle’s friend or just because he's nice... There's a real bond there. They haven't seen Bucky just that one time when he slept on the couch. They're obviously close. But some people might just see this as kids being kids. Also, if you watch at how the kids were fake punching him, they were really coordinated with Bucky. They have done this plenty of times. 2.
What I thought we could see: A non-explicit scene where we were supposed to draw our own conclusions. I thought they could show us Bucky staying over for the night, and the last scene would be an empty couch, meaning we would have to understand that Bucky slept in Sam's room this time.
-What we got: Bucky arriving in Sam's car ( A few people on Tumblr pointed out that it was the car Sam was driving in episode 1) So here again we have a scene that a lot of people will not notice. But they still chose to put it there. 3.
What I thought could happen: Sam asking Bucky to stay in Delacroix
What we got: Bucky wrapping things up in New York, as if he was leaving the city for good and coming to Sam's party as if he already knew everyone there. You can read my take on this here. 4. What I thought could happen: The scene in the trailer where we see them looking in the same direction and then we get a shot from very far away where they're holding hands but it’s not so obvious because they are being filmed from a disctance. -What we got: The scene in trailer and then a blurry shot of Sam holding Bucky and then fondling with his neck to find the best spot to rest his hand on. So none of the scenes I was imagining happened exactly like I had imagined, but it felt like all of them happened but in a different versions, which is still crazy to me. If it had been only one scene. I could probably understand the people who see them as just friends. Actually, I still do understand the people who see them as just friends, because everyone has their own interpretation. What I am saying is that they are NOT being portrayed as just friends. There are TOO many scenes in the 6 episodes for it to be a coincidence. One or 2 would be ok but friendship doesn’t explain everything:
The therapy scene (not the therapy scene itself since it was improvised) but the therapist saying she had heard a lot about Sam and wanting them to do a couples’ therapy
Bucky following Sam no matter what
Sam saying ok as soon as Bucky says "do it for me"
Sam asking "what about Bucky?"
Bucky starting to touch Sam whenever he has the chance
Bucky being the one to bringing the suit for Sam
The boat repairing montage
Bucky wanting to stay at Sam's place, when a hotel room would have been more comfortable than a couch
The second day of boat repair in closed quarters with an intense staring scene.
And there are so many other scenes, soft touches, looks,...
These writing choices are not a coincidence, it’s not involuntary, and it’s not fan service ( Fan service is the roll in the flower field scene, or the therapy session). This is them telling a story.
Let’s not even talk about the scenes in Endgame:
Sam comforting bucky at Tony’s funeral
Sam looking up to Bucky for approval before accepting the shield from Steve.
So yes, Sam and Bucky are canon in the sense that Peter and Gamora were canon in the first movie, or Wanda and Vision were canon in Captain Civil War. Meaning that there was no big moment, kiss or anything, but the show is consistently throwing elements clearly showing Sam and Bucky as a romantic item and hinting at a lot more than friendship between them.
It is normal that some people have a different opinion. Because it is extremely rare, in big productions like this to have two male leads with romantic feelings towards each other, so not a lot people who see it will interpret it as such (I don't think it ever happened). You’ll see what you’re used to seeing.
I guess it also depends on what you expect from a love story. For me, the storyline between the characters, their scenes, their chemistry, the way their feelings towards each other are described, are the most important. The kiss scene is just there as a bonus, but I don't need it when the love story is told perfectly. If you’re used to seeing love stories with many kissing scenes, that’s what you will be expecting to see in most love stories.
If you're only used to seeing male friendships in superhero or action movies. The 1000th time you see men interacting in that type of movie or show, you are more likely to assume it is a friendship and nothing more, no matter how many codes and tropes usually associated with romantic movies, the writers and show makers are using.
Add to that the conviction that Disney would never approve Sambucky in a million years, and there you go, I can understand the people who see only friendship.
But, just think about it, if we had the same show, same scenes, same dialogues, but minus the action scenes and the project was being marketed as an Indie movie, would you think they were just friends or a blossoming couple?
If you read Sambucky’s relationship like a friendship: some scenes don't make sense. If you read it like a developing romantic relationship: it all makes sense. "When you hear hoofs, think horse, not zebra" If a writer or a film director chooses a last scene with a romantic setting and the two leads are staring at a sunset, smiling repeatedly at each other and then walking away together with one of them touching the other's neck, with a love song in the background, maybe friendship isn't the first thought they had in mind.
Some people may say “I see them as just friends” and other people may say “ I see them as lovers” and both are fine, because people have different perceptions, and that’s ok.
What I am saying is this post is that the show and the writers are portraying them as more than just friends, they’re portraying them as two characters who are romantically involved.
Perceive what you want but that’s how they are being presented in the show.
Bucky’s therapist said that the exercise she gave them was for couples who want to figure out what kind of life they want to build together. Then, the show ends with Sam and Bucky, staring at a sunset together, looking in the same direction.
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. “ - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
What else do you need???
This show had more romance than half of the Marvel projects out there. Not every love story needs a kiss (for now...)
We'll see in their next projects which direction the writers want to go with this. But since it was said that the writer on the movie is the same as the writer from episode 5, there's no doubt in my mind that we'll keep seeing this dynamic. I don't think they would have made the same choices if this had been a movie. But I won't complain that we got this. I hope they keep this going even if it stays subtle like in the show. Just hope they will add one explicit scene where one of the characters acknowledges their relationship. But even if we only ever get this show, it’s already a great love story. Let me know what you guys think and sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes, I was tired when I wrote the last part. I hope it still makes sense!
If you think they're only being portrayed as friends let me know why! I would also like to know about the way you see this!
#sambucky#sam wilson#bucky barnes#tfatws#the falcon and the winter soldier#tfatws spoilers#Please feel free to comment on this and tell me what you think#I'm genuinely interested in having other POVs
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Tangling with the Lifeguard (Pool Party Sett/Reader)
The Pool Party Sett story is done! I’ve gone with a beach!AU sort of setting where league races exist in a modern-day beach sort of place. Also sorry to any MF or Syndra mains, they don’t really come out the best in this xD Hope you enjoy, and as always, there is a smut warning for the end!
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The sun was shining high in the sky, crystalline waters lapping against the shore as beachgoers took advantage of the perfect summer day. Taking in the scene from your place in the shade of a tree on the border between the beach and parking lot, you let a smile grace your lips as you mused on just how much this place seemed to not change, even after so many years.
The last time you had set foot on this beach, you had been twelve years old, full of excitement and unaware of the harsh realities of the adult world. Your parents had brought you here for that summer, now thirteen years ago, the beautiful beach an unforgettable experience. You had left after that summer with treasured memories, and a new friend, that same friend the very reason why you had returned to Port Navori beach after so long.
Taliyah had been the same age as you, with fairly lax parents who let her roam the beach by herself, even as the small twelve-year-old she had been. You had bonded instantly, spending almost every day together, and keeping in touch through letters, and later emails and text messages.
You had long said that you had wanted to come back and visit the lively beach town, but the timing hadn’t been right, not until this year.
You were done all your schooling, and had quit your high-stress, low-pay job, and as Taliyah had said on your last phone call, you had no reason not to visit. Her parents had been travelling the world since they retired, so you would have her house all to yourselves.
In your absence, Taliyah had become a fairly accomplished surfer in the local scene, working at an ice cream shop on the beach to support her expensive pursuits. She had been so insistent that you couldn’t find yourself able to refuse her offer; work in the ice cream shop with her in the day, and then spend the rest of your time catching up with each other. You had missed your friend dearly, and had accepted the offer without a second thought.
And now here you were, waiting at the beach’s edge for Taliyah to show up. She had told you to dress for the beach, sounding casual as was her usual, so you had worn a swimsuit with a short, flowy shoulderless dress on overtop. Unwilling to look like a lobster by day’s end, you had carefully layered yourself with sunscreen, and now all you needed was for your friend to get here already. Just when you were about to get out your phone to text her, an excited call of your name had you re-stowing the phone in your bag and looking back to see your friend bounding across the parking lot towards you.
Taliyah, dressed in a two-piece water suit and carrying a tropical-flower-print surfboard, came to a stop before you, leaning her surfboard against a tree to free her arms to tackle you in a hug.
“You’re finally here!” she grinned, surprising you with the strength of her hug. “We’re gonna have so much fun!”
“So what’s first?” you asked as you pulled back from the hug.
Taliyah hummed. “I guess I’ll show you the shop.”
You followed her onto the beach, recognizing the small bright blue building from the pictures she had sent you before. Taliyah took you around the back, fishing a key out of her pocket before unlocking the door and leading you into the small room.
There were large tubs of ice cream in the middle of the room, the walls lined with containers of various toppings and machines. On the back wall from you were two windows, glossy menus pasted to the doors that would display out when they were opened. Upon walking closer to the menu signs, you noticed something.
“Hey, it says we open at nine, but it’s ten-thirty…”
“It’s fine,” Taliyah replied with a shrug. “The owners are pretty chill. If anyone complains, I’ll just tell them I had to train the new employee.”
You playfully rolled your eyes. Sometimes you really envied Taliyah’s ability to be so carefree. Her calm energy was a big help for you, having got advice from her on numerous occasions over the years.
Taliyah came over to where you were, eyes flitting boredly to the menu boards before turning her attention back to you. “So I’m thinking we get you taking orders while I make them.”
“Works for me,” you agreed. It certainly sounded easier than figuring out what a poro float was supposed to be. You never knew ice cream stands had such fancy options now, used to the simple menus of ice cream cones and bars back at the shops in your hometown.
You were about to open the order windows when you were stopped by a rustling noise from the back of the store. You turned to see Taliyah digging in a cardboard box in the back corner, pulling out some folded-up fabric that was the same sky blue as the stand.
“Didn’t think you’d get away without an embarrassing uniform, did you?” Taliyah teased, tossing some of her fabric pile your way.
You caught the bundle, unfolding it to find an apron with Poro Palace Frozen Treats in pink bubble letters, little white fuzzy animals dotting the apron. There was an accompanying blue visor hat that looked like something out of a kid’s store. You reluctantly slipped both items of clothing on, looking back to find that Taliyah had done the same.
“Stylish, huh?” she smirked, striking a modelesque pose.
“We look like we work at an amusement park, Tali,” you laughed.
“Feels like it sometimes with all the annoying kids that come by,” she replied. “Okay, you can open it up now.”
Taliyah settled herself down in a chair in front of the section of ice cream tubs, and you reluctantly turned to unlatch and open the windows, unsure of exactly what you were getting yourself into.
The small room lit up with the outside sunlight streaming in from your window to outside, the immediate glare of the sun making you wish you had worn sunglasses.
Almost immediately, the masses were upon you. You noticed a woman with several children in tow who perked up as she laid eyes on you, striding over to you with her children right behind her, pushing each other as they scrambled to be the first one to get over to you.
You heard Taliyah groan behind you. “Get the pen ready. They always have the most annoying orders.”
You rose an eyebrow, but picked up the pen and notepad that sat beside the cash register as the woman came to a stop before you.
“You know, I’ve been waiting for an hour already. You young girls don’t know how hard it is for mothers,” the woman complained, not letting you get a word in edgewise. “Alright, tell her what you want.”
“I want a brownie sundae!” a small boy with blue hair who clearly intended to make full use of his outdoor voice shouted. “But with cotton candy ice cream and pop rocks and I want only blue candies!”
“Uh…” The kid was talking too fast for you to write, but luckily Taliyah had your back, a got it ringing out from behind you.
You weren’t sure how you had managed to get their orders out before they melted, messing up their total several times before Taliyah had to come and help you out. With a last snide look and a fistful of blue napkins, the mother and her little terrors left the stand at last.
“She’s the worst,” Taliyah said, bringing your weary gaze her way as she cleaned off an ice cream scoop. “I accidentally put one red candy in that kid’s sundae once and he screamed until I remade the whole thing!”
You winced. “Feels like we got off easy today.”
“Yeah,” Taliyah agreed. “Helps that they order the same thing every time, so I’ve got some practice.”
“Are they all this bad?” you asked, turning away from the window after seeing no potential customers nearby.
“Not all of them,” she replied with a strained smile. “I swear the heat just brings the jerk out in some of the people here.”
Speaking of jerks… your conversation was interrupted by an impatient-sounding throat clearing noise from behind you. You whirled around to see a redheaded woman with heart-shaped sunglasses and a revealing swimsuit leaning against your counter. She was staring at you like you were gum she had stepped in, flipping some hair over her shoulder when she knew she had your attention.
“Five cherry snowballs,” she said, dropping a few coins on your counter, some of which bounced and hit the floor. “To the red umbrella, thanks ice cream girl.”
Without any further interaction, she turned on her heel and strutted away, hips swinging as she went, leaving you wondering what had just happened.
You slowly turned back to face Taliyah again. “Um, do we usually deliver?”
“Nope,” she answered. “Not to people like that anyways.”
“But…” you protested weakly. You knew Taliyah got away with a lot here, but you didn’t want her to lose her job because some rude girl complained to her bosses. “I’ll just take them over and next time I’ll just say we don’t deliver.”
“Still tempted to put rocks in their snowballs,” Taliyah joked as she set about piling the scoops of red ice.
Soon you had a tray with five cherry syrup-coated piles of shaved ice in little plastic bowls with accompanying little plastic spoons stuck in the side of the dishes.
“I’ll be right back,” you said, heading past Taliyah to the back door, opening it to find yourself back out in the mid-morning heat.
The sand still felt uncomfortably hot underfoot, even with your flip flops on. With how hot it was out, these would have to be delivered as soon as possible to not be a puddle by the time they were eaten. Your only problem was that you had no idea where to go.
The redhead had said that she would be at the red umbrella, but of course nothing at this ice cream stand would be that easy. Standing just outside the hut, you were treated to a veritable rainbow of colored beach umbrellas. You counted at least ten red ones scattered across the beach, none particularly standing out to you. You didn’t have many options, and were forced to go with the most tedious one; checking every red umbrella until you found the girl and her group.
The first umbrella had been a bust, as had the next five. The sixth had led to a sweaty old man who told you that you were just in time to help him sunscreen his back. By the time you had hurriedly fled from that creep, it had been about five minutes of searching, the snowballs on your tray looking considerably droopier than they had been when you had left the shop.
You stared down at the tray of melting treats, unsure of what to do now. Should you go back and have Taliyah remake the snowballs? Try a few more umbrellas and hope you got lucky? You really hadn’t been anticipating this much stress when you had agreed to work here with Taliyah for the summer.
You frowned at the now-more-water-than-ice treats, your decision made. You couldn’t serve these, not as melted as they were. You would go back and help remake them and see if Taliyah had any insight as to which red umbrella was the right one. You turned around to head back to the stand, only to trip on your overheating flip flops and fall forward with a cry.
You had closed your eyes with a flinch as you fell, but opened them with a start as you heard a grunt from right in front of you. Looking up from your position in the burning sand, you felt like your heart was going to stop in your chest.
Standing before you was the most attractive guy you had ever laid eyes on, with fire red hair and a pair of black animal ears that looked soft to the touch. He was dressed in a tight pair of swim shorts, a lightweight red jacket tied around his waist. He had a flower lei around his neck, but that was the only thing that he wore on his top half, his insanely-well-built torso on full display, a torso you realized with horror was currently splattered with red syrup and shaved ice.
You looked from the hot guy to the ground, the sand around you speckled with plastic cups, spoons and napkins, your tray turned upside down in the sand. You slowly risked a gaze back up, only to see the guy staring down at you from behind his pink-tinted sunglasses as a clump of ice fell from his stomach to the sand just in front of your hands.
Embarrassment forced you to spring up, grabbing some stray napkins from the ground and dabbing them against the mess of syrup and ice on the man’s abdomen.
“I’m so sorry, I–” You looked up from your apologizing to see the man silently staring at you, your hand freezing in place as you realized that you were basically feeling this guy up through the napkins, the realization making your cheeks burn with shame and embarrassment.
“I’m really sorry!” you cried out, pulling your hands back. He still hadn’t said anything, and you realized that you couldn’t just stand here like an idiot, your flight instinct kicking in as you reached down to grab your tray before moving around the man and fleeing in the direction of the ice cream stand.
“Hey, wait!”
The man tried to grab your arm as you passed, but you were faster in your embarrassment-fueled retreat, and soon the hot stranger was far behind you. You didn’t stop running until you were back at the shop, the empty sand-logged tray clutched tightly to your chest, your heartbeat pounding in your ears as you shut the door, making eye contact with a confused Taliyah.
“Hey, are you okay?” she asked, getting up to approach you when you didn’t respond. “Talk to me. What happened? If that snob said anything to you–”
“No, no, she didn’t,” you replied weakly, sinking to the floor with your back against the door. “I didn’t even get to her.”
“Then what happened?” she pressed, bringing you a glass of water and prying the tray from your hands at last.
She ushered you to your feet and down into her chair, taking a seat on one of the counters. You took a deep breath, taking a sip of the water before recounting the events of the past ten minutes to Taliyah, who listened silently.
“…I didn’t know what to do, so I just ran,” you finished, setting your water down to bury your face in your hands.
“It’s no big deal,” Taliyah replied gently. “Everyone has embarrassed themselves in front of someone. Remember that time I tripped over my board in front of that group of tourists?”
“I covered him in cherry syrup, Tali,” you groaned. “I don’t think I’m cut out for this.”
“It’s your first day,” she stressed. “You’re bound to mess some things up.”
She stood up, returning to the shaved ice machine. “Now how about we remake those snowballs and then I’ll–”
Taliyah had frozen in place, a plastic cup in her hand as she stared straight ahead.
“Tali?” you questioned, standing up. “Are you–”
“That guy you dumped the snowballs on,” she quickly interrupted. “Did he have majorly cut abs and animal ears?”
“Uh, why?” You felt a jolt of fear shoot up your spine as you followed her gaze to see the man from earlier currently approaching the shop, well-defined abdomen now minus the sticky mess you had spilt all over him. “Oh god, it’s him!”
You and Taliyah exchange wide-eyed glances before you dove down out of sight, hiding behind the tubs of ice cream like they were a fortress.
“Please get rid of him!” you begged. “I’ll do whatever you want, I just can’t face him!”
You heard Taliyah sigh. “Fine, but this means you’re coming stone hunting with me tonight.”
You agreed immediately, even if the prospect wasn’t overwhelmingly appealing. Taliyah was always eager to add to her collection of shiny stones, but was so picky that it often took hours to find just one stone that met her standards. But right now you were so desperate that you would have promised her anything just to make the angry hot guy go away.
From your position behind the ice cream tubs, you could only hear Taliyah’s voice clearly, the general noise of the beach preventing you from hearing what the furry-eared man was saying. You wanted to peek out from your hiding spot, but found yourself chickening out. You really didn’t need him catching sight of you and making Taliyah’s job even harder.
You had gotten so in your own head with panic that you had completely tuned out of your surroundings until a hand waved in front of your face and you realized Taliyah was crouching in front of you, calling your name.
“You okay?” she asked worriedly.
“Is he gone?” you replied quietly.
“Yeah, he’s gone,” she confirmed, standing up and grabbing your forearms to pull you up with her. “Now help me remake those snowballs and then I’ll fill you in.”
You bit your lip as you scooped shaved ice into a row of plastic cups as Taliyah readied the cherry syrup. Soon you had five pristine-looking snowballs on your slightly-sandy tray, the sight of them bringing you back to your moment of collision with the cute guy.
The tray was snatched from your field of vision by Taliyah, who headed over to the rear door. “Be back in a few. Try not to freak out too much while I’m gone.”
And then the door was closed and you were left alone. Looking over at the order window, you decided that you were probably safer to just resume your position behind the ice cream tubs, unwilling to risk being out in the open in case the guy decided to come back.
While she was gone, you couldn’t help but fret over exactly what had been said between your best friend and the mysterious hot guy. She didn’t seem to be upset, so clearly their conversation hadn’t been that intense. Or maybe it had; Taliyah was a fairly relaxed person, so it would be difficult for a random angry customer to really get to her. But that didn’t quite make sense either; if he had yelled at her, you would have heard it over the noise of the beachgoers. All you were doing was overthinking yourself to death, exactly what Taliyah had told you not to do.
And it was there you remained until Taliyah returned, closing the door behind her and placing the serving tray in the sink before she turned her attention to you at last.
“Calm down, it’s fine… I think,” she said.
“You think?”
“Well he didn’t seem mad,” she explained. “He asked if a girl that looked like you worked here and I said you went home sick. Said he’d come back another time.”
“Another–” Oh god. Was he really so angry that he was willing to come back just for the chance to yell at you?
“I can see you freaking out,” Taliyah scolded. “Don’t. You’re fine. Musclehead or not, he’s not going to kill you just because you spilled shaved ice on him.”
She was probably right; hot shirtless guys on the beach likely had more important things to do than yelling at clumsy ice cream shop workers. By tomorrow, he would probably forget you ever existed, and you could go back to enjoying your time working alongside your best friend.
The rock collecting that night had been long and boring, at least for you. Taliyah hadn’t found any rocks she liked enough to take home, only ending the search after she had found some sea glass that she had deemed acceptable to add to her collection. You could only hope that you wouldn’t owe her any more favors any time soon, unsure if you could survive another late night rock hunt.
The next morning, you entered the shop alongside Taliyah, who put her bag down and began to set up the day’s supplies. Considering it was ten minutes past opening time and Taliyah had insisted that she didn’t need help setting up, you decided that you might as well just open the order window for the day, hoping that mom and her group of demon kids wouldn’t be waiting out there, only to unlatch the widows and see something arguably worse.
The window had only been open a peek, but it was enough for you to see the large figure of the man from yesterday standing ten feet or so from your shop, his back facing you as he stared out at the beach. In your brief glimpse, you also noticed that the jacket wrapped around his waist had a white plus sign in a circle as well as the word lifeguard in white blocky letters above it. Oh god, of course you had gone and pissed off a lifeguard on your first day here.
You shut the barely-open windows with a too-loud slam that made you wince before you quickly locked them again and rushed over to Taliyah.
“Tali, he’s here again!” you hissed.
“Huh?” she replied, pausing her task of refilling a container of sprinkles. “Muscle guy?”
You nodded frantically and Taliyah frowned, putting the sprinkles down and approaching the order window herself. You watched as she opened the window ever so slightly, peering out for a few seconds before closing it back up.
“Well… can’t say I was expecting him to actually come back,” she said evenly.
“What do I even do?” you asked, staring at the order windows like they would burst open at any second and reveal you to the clearly-determined lifeguard. “He’s a lifeguard, Tali! What if he bans me from the beach?”
She rolled her eyes in response. “He can’t just ban you from the beach. Lifeguards don’t have that much power. If they did, I would’ve been banned a long time ago for all the times I’ve surfed after hours.”
“Then what does he want with me?” you asked, looking away from the window.
Taliyah shrugged. “You’d have to ask him that.”
“But what if I… don’t?” you replied weakly. “He’ll give up eventually, right?”
“I mean, maybe?” she said. “But it might be easier to deal with him now and get it over with.”
You saw her point, but it wasn’t her that was being pursued by a tall, muscly lifeguard with a vengeance!
Taliyah clearly caught the reluctance on your face and sighed. “Fine, I’ll switch with you for today. Now let’s go over how to make the basic stuff before we open.”
True to her word, Taliyah had allowed you to hide in the back making orders, telling the lifeguard guy that you were off today. You watched him walk away from behind the shaved ice machine, hoping that your ordeal was finally over, but your hopes were quickly dashed the next day as you went to open the store again, only to see the same broad back facing you from just outside the shop.
Taliyah had reluctantly agreed to switch again that day, and the day after. But by day four, even the promise of helping her scavenge for rocks again wouldn’t get her to agree to switch.
You closed the window again, turning to Taliyah with pleading eyes, but she was having none of it.
“It’s been four days,” she said, arms crossed. “Clearly he’s not giving up. You should just see what he wants.”
“But…” The thought still terrified you. You knew you deserved to be yelled at for what you had done, but it was made that much worse by the fact that the subject of your plight was just about the hottest guy you had ever seen.
Taliyah shook her head at you. “Okay, but I’m not doing orders again today, so if you want to keep hiding from him, we’ll have to move onto plan B.”
Plan B, as it turned out, was a mascot suit of sorts; three fluffy poros stacked on top of each other like a snowman. A poro each made up your upper and lower body, the last poro being the head of the costume. You looked incredibly awkward, the arms and legs of the costume hairy and tipped with little brown claws. You were momentarily stunned by the sheer lengths you were going to just to avoid this guy, but you were already in the costume, so you reasoned that you might as well follow through with it now.
Taliyah put the costume’s head on you and your world was plunged largely into darkness, minus the mesh one-way view out of the top poro’s eyes. You were helped to the back door, some fliers for the store shoved into your hands.
Taliyah helped you walk out front, and you were pretty quickly swarmed by kids. You couldn’t see the lifeguard guy, but the relief that coursed through you was short-lived, swallowed by the immediate explosion of business brought on by your costume.
One thing you hadn’t considered in your haste was the heat. You weren’t sure if it was the costume or if today was hotter than usual, but very quickly you found yourself becoming a sweaty mess under the weight of the dense, furry costume.
The longer you were in the costume, the worse you felt, but you were determined to stick this out. So you handed out fliers and posed for photos with children while Taliyah ran the stand.
You wished that you could wipe the sweat from your face, but you weren’t sure if you could even reach up to remove the costume’s head yourself due to the awkward shape of the costume. So you endured the ever-increasing heat, only feeling wearier as the time ticked by.
You waved goodbye to a group of kids as they left with their ice cream cones, the sweltering heat really bearing down on you. As you went to turn and head back to the stand to ask Taliyah to help get the head off, a wave of dizziness crashed over you. You took one step towards the stand, and then another, and then it all went dark as you felt yourself falling forward, too weak to stop your descent to the ground.
You woke up with a heavy head, feeling foggy with confusion. The last thing you remembered, you had been heading back to the stand…
Immediately, you realized that you weren’t at the ice cream stand, and you weren’t wearing the poro suit, or even your beach dress. Sitting up in the cot you laid in, you found that you were wearing only your swimsuit.
As you sat up, a blue ice pack that you hadn’t realized was there fell from your forehead and into your lap. Picking it up, the pack only feeling slightly cold, you turned to look around the room, still unsure what exactly was going on.
You were in a room of some sort, guessing it was afternoon by the minute amount of light filtering into the room, even through the closed curtains. There was a fan gently whirring above your head, but otherwise the room was silent.
There was another cot beside yours, and a table nearby with a few red first aid kits stacked on it, some bandages messily spilling out of one of them. There was a sign pulled over the door, the side facing you reading come on in, we’re open.
You got up from the bed, shuddering with disgust when you noticed just how sweaty your whole body was. The bed squeaked as you got up from it, your knees hitting a bedside table between the cots that you hadn’t noticed had been there. On the small table was a glass of water, as well as a white fan that was emblazoned with what looked to be a group of cats waterskiing.
You picked up the fan, letting out a small laugh at the silly-looking cartoon cats on the fan. It looked like something you could win at a carnival booth.
“If you can laugh, then I guess you’re feelin’ alright.”
A deep voice from behind you made you jump, fingers fumbling the fan, which fell onto the floor with a clatter that was only made louder in the quiet room. You turned to look behind you, only to fall off the cot in shock when you saw the very lifeguard you had been trying so hard to avoid standing in the doorway of a small office you hadn’t noticed was there.
“Hey, careful!” He quickly crossed the room to squat down in front of you, taking your elbow and helping you back up onto the cot. You were too stunned to resist and found yourself falling into his chest as a wave of dizziness hit you.
“You okay?” he asked, and you tried to nod, but your head was spinning too much to focus. “Hey, hold still.”
He placed his hands on your shoulders, keeping you steady against him until you were able to regain your focus. When he was satisfied with your condition, he pulled back, releasing your shoulders and instead reaching out for the glass of water on the table next to you.
“Drink,” he instructed, handing you the cup before standing up. “I’ll be right back.”
He stared at you for a moment before finally turning back and heading into the office at the back of the room.
You watched him go, feeling on edge, but complied, bringing the glass up to your lips and taking a long drink. The last thing you wanted to do was give this guy more reason to be upset with you. You were surprised at just how refreshing the water felt, and you had soon downed the entire glass, placing it back on the table when you were done.
“Alright, lay back down,” the lifeguard instructed as he returned.
“What?” you replied. What was he going to do to you? How had you even got here? Where was Taliyah?
He stopped before you, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked down at your shaky, terrified form. “Are you–”
“I’m sorry!” you exclaimed, bowing your head. “I didn’t mean to spill the snowballs on you! If you need to yell at me, go ahead. I’m sorry I didn’t just come out sooner and–”
It had occurred to you mid-ramble that he had yet to say anything, and you cut off your babbling, slowly looking up to find him staring at you with what you could only describe as a bewildered look on his face.
He blinked. “Is that why–”
“I’m so sorry!” you interrupted, bowing your head again. “If you want to ban me from the beach, I get it!”
“Ban ya from the beach?” he replied with a bark of laughter. “The only thing I wanted to do was get your number.”
“My… what?” You had to be hallucinating. There was no way he had just said that.
“Lay down first,” he spoke sternly, and you complied, still feeling stunned by his words.
Once you were laid down, he picked something up from the bed, which you recognized as another ice pack. He placed it on your forehead, the cool pack immediately flooding you with a feeling of relief. Closing your eyes, you let out a tired sigh, suddenly feeling fatigued.
“Get some rest, princess. We’ll talk when you’re up again.”
You took his advice, the cooling from the ice pack lulling you back to sleep, your eyelids too heavy to keep open.
When you woke up again, you felt infinitely better, your head clearer and body feeling less overheated. The ice pack on your forehead was room temperature, and it was now dark outside. There was a light illuminating your left side as you sat up in bed, turning to see the office in the back with its light on.
The cot squeaked under you, which was responded to by the squeak of a chair from inside the office, the red-haired lifeguard emerging from the office and approaching your bedside.
“Feelin’ any better?” he asked, and you nodded, biting your lip nervously. “Got you some more water.”
You looked over to the bedside table to see the water cup refilled and took hold of it, grateful to have something to focus on other than the intimidatingly muscular man before you.
You drank the entire glass before you forced yourself to finally address the situation before you. “Um… why am I here?”
“You passed out,” he replied bluntly, taking a seat on the cot next to yours. “Overheated yourself in that rat costume.”
“They’re not rats, they’re poros,” you replied, unsure of what to say.
He let out a huff of laughter. “Poros that important to you that you’re willin’ to fry yourself for ‘em?”
“No, that was…” you trailed off. Well, you might as well just admit it. If he had gone out of his way to care for you after you had passed out like an idiot, then he deserved the truth. “I was avoiding you. I was scared you were going to yell at me. My friend didn’t want to keep covering for me at the window so I decided to wear that stupid poro costume.”
“So that’s what that was about,” he replied. “And here I thought you were avoidin’ me ‘cuz you weren’t interested. Gave up on gettin’ your number and then got news that someone passed out from heat stroke.”
You were still having a hard time comprehending the asking for your number part, so you instead chose to focus on the other half. “Heat stroke?”
“Not sure what you expected, wearin’ that costume in this heat,” he said. “Can’t say nobody’s ever been afraid of me before, but giving themself heat stroke just to avoid me is a new one.”
He sounded somewhat self-deprecating, and you immediately felt bad. You had clearly misjudged him, and realized that he hadn’t even mentioned the snowball incident himself.
You forced yourself to meet his eyes, even with as awkward as you were currently felt. “I’m sorry for giving you so much trouble, and for spilling snowballs all over you. I’m just really sorry.”
He laughed. “Ain’t nothin’ for you to apologize for. I’ve had worse get on me since I started workin’ here, and usually it ain’t from a cute girl.”
You tensed in your seat, tearing your gaze from his to look down at your feet, your cheeks feeling warm.
“Hey, don’t go overheatin’ yourself again,” he scolded, standing up from the bed. “If you’re not interested, that’s fine, but I think it’s best if I take ya home. Don’t need your friend yellin’ at me again if you pass out on the way back.”
As much as you wanted to deny his assertion of you being not interested, you couldn’t muster up the courage, so you instead quietly accepted his offer of help. You would have to ask Taliyah what he had meant when you got back.
It was surprisingly cold on the beach at night, the icy breeze sending shivers along your skin. You stared out at the dark ocean waves, entranced by the water crashing against the sand, when your focus was broken by some soft fabric being laid over your shoulders.
You turned to look over your shoulder to see Sett just behind you on the steps of the lifeguard office, the jacket that was usually around his waist now laying on your shoulders.
He caught your curious look and raised an eyebrow. “You nearly cooked yourself to death today, I ain’t about to let you freeze yourself to death now.”
“Thanks,” you replied quietly, reaching a hand up to keep the jacket around your shoulders.
Your feet met the soft sand as you followed Sett towards the parking lot. The beach was totally empty, an odd contrast to how things were in the daytime. It felt weird to actually see the shape of the landscape unobscured by giant beach umbrellas and a sea of bodies. You only looked away from the empty scene when you realized that you had left the sand, and Sett was staring expectantly at you.
“…what?” you asked, getting the feeling that he had said something that you had missed.
“Which way?” he repeated with a quick glance at the street ahead of you.
“Oh right,” you replied. “My friend lives on Sandstone Way.”
Sett’s ears perked up. “By that tacky souvenir shop?”
“Yeah,” you laughed. “Right by there.”
You giggled at Sett’s assessment; you had noticed the eye-hurtingly brightly painted store when Taliyah had walked you to her house from the train station. She had rolled her eyes at the store as you surveyed the display of t-shirts with embarrassing designs on them, stating that sometimes they got some good rocks in, but it wasn’t worth the amount of tourists always asking for directions when she was walking around the neighborhood.
Looking over at Sett out of the corner of your eye, you were struggling to think of anything to say. He was dressed in just his sandals and shorts, his sunglasses forgone and giving you a clear look at his golden eyes that seemed to glow in the dark.
“So this your first summer here?” Sett asked, breaking the brief silence as you walked side by side. “I know I’d remember you if I’d seen ya before.”
“I was here for a summer when I was a kid,” you answered. “But everything looks so different now. Maybe I just saw this place differently when I was a kid.”
“Nah,” he dismissed. “It never used to be this busy here. Tourists bring money to this place, but it means it’s always loud around here.”
The conversation was slowly helping you feel more comfortable with the intimidatingly handsome lifeguard. You felt dumb for putting so much energy into avoiding him.
“So have you always lived here?” you asked.
“Born and raised,” he answered with a grin that you couldn’t help but feel looked a little sad. “Ma used to work at the boating shop… and the laundromat… and the candy store.”
“All at the same time?” you asked incredulously.
Sett shrugged. “Didn’t have much of a choice. Pa ran off on us when I was a kid, and it wasn’t like anyone would hire a fatherless runt to work for them.”
“Sounds like it was hard,” you replied. “Did you ever find out where he went?”
“For his sake, I’d better not,” Sett sneered. “I heard ma cry missin’ that scumbag more times than I can count. There ain’t a family here for that bastard to come back to.”
“How is your mom doing?” you asked as you turned onto Sandstone Way, passing by the tacky tourist shop, the flashy paint on the walls too bright even at night.
“She’s doin’ good,” he answered, finally looking happy with a satisfied smile. “Got her to quit her jobs when I started workin’ enough to pay the bills.”
“You’re a good son,” you complimented him. “She’s lucky to have you.”
You smiled at him, coming to a stop before Taliyah’s house. “Well, this is me. Thanks for walking me back.”
“Take care of yourself,” he said. “I don’t wanna see you passin’ out again.”
“I’ll try not to,” you replied. “No more poro costumes for me.”
“On that topic,” he purred, leaning closer to you. “You never gave me an answer.”
“An answer?” you squeaked, flustered by his sudden closeness.
“I’ve been tryin’ to get your number for days now,” he replied, and you did your best to supress a shiver from running up your spine. Was this real life?
You wet your lips with your tongue nervously, unable to miss how Sett’s sharp eyes watched the movement.
“I, um, I don’t have my phone on me,” you said, immediately realizing how dumb you sounded. You didn’t need your phone on you to tell him your number! You hastily made to amend your statement. “…but if you come by the stand tomorrow, I’ll give it to you!”
“Oh?” Sett’s grin was wide, gold eyes flashing dangerously. “I s’pose I could find some time to stop by. See you then, sweetheart.”
Sett turned to walk away, but you stopped him with a call of his name. “Wait, your jacket–”
“Keep it for the night,” Sett replied. “I’ll get it from you tomorrow.”
You reluctantly agreed, stunned silent by his bold flirting, his jacket sitting warm on your shoulders as you watched him walk away. You stared at his broad back until he was out of sight, only then turning to head inside, knowing Taliyah would be waiting.
The next morning she was still on you as you spent some extra time getting ready.
“I still can’t believe he gave you his jacket,” she teased with a grin. “I mean, I figured he was probably into you, but–”
“You what?” you replied as you paused styling your hair.
“I kept telling you to talk to him,” she replied. “No guy like that is going to wait outside your work for days in a row just to yell at you for spilling ice on him. But I didn’t think you’d believe me if I told you.”
“I just feel so stupid giving myself heat stroke just go avoid him,” you lamented.
“Yeah,” Taliyah frowned. “If I had realized it was that hot out, I never would’ve let you go out in that thing.”
“It’s my own fault for being so dumb,” you insisted.
“But hey, it all worked out, didn’t it?” Taliyah grinned as she slipped on her water shoes. “You’ve got a hot lifeguard coming to visit you at work today.”
“Don’t remind me. I’m still super nervous,” you said, adjusting your beach dress over your most flattering swimsuit.
“You’ll be fine,” Taliyah replied. “He’s clearly super into you. You should’ve seen him when you passed out yesterday.”
“What?” You had been so tired last night that you had only told her the basics before crashing for the night, completely forgetting to ask her what had happened yesterday.
“Someone got him when you collapsed,” she told you. “You should’ve seen his face when he pulled off the poro head and saw it was you inside the costume! I tried to come with, but he told me he’d handle it. I maaay have threatened his life if anything happened to you, but just a little.”
You laughed. So that’s what Sett had been referring to.
Taliyah came up from behind you as you stared at your appearance in the mirror, resting her chin on your shoulder and meeting your eyes in the mirror. “Relax, you look great. Fuzzy ear boy isn’t gonna know what hit him!”
“Fuzzy ear–” you sputtered, laughing at Taliyah’s choice of words. “I guess his ears do look pretty fuzzy.”
“Well if he lets you pet them, tell me how soft they are!” she teased, pulling back from you to grab her bag. “Now let’s go. You’ve got a boy to meet!”
You somehow felt even more nervous today than you had the few days you had spent avoiding Sett. You were still having a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that a guy that looked like he had walked straight out of a fireman’s calendar was coming to your little beachfront ice cream stand for the sole purpose of getting your phone number. And his jacket, which was folded neatly on the countertop beside you.
You weren’t exactly sure when he was going to come. Usually, he would be there waiting outside in the morning before you opened, but all you had opened up to today was a sparsely-populated beachfront, no handsome lifeguards to be seen. By two in the afternoon, your anxiety had begun to get the better of you.
“Stop pacing,” Taliyah scolded you. “He’ll be here.”
“But what if he decided not to?” you said, taking a deep breath to try and calm yourself down. “What if this was just a joke?”
“Then I’ll go kick his butt,” she responded plainly. “He’ll come. Relax.”
You were about to reply, when a ding of the service bell at the order window had you spinning around, ready to take an order, only for the words to die on your lips when you laid eyes on the well-muscled lifeguard with the fuzzy black ears just outside the order window, sending a grin your way.
“Here to pick up my order,” he said, leaning an arm against the window.
“Your… order?” you replied, too entranced by his appearance to properly make use of your brain.
“A pretty girl promised me her number if I came by,” he replied, looking down at you through his sunglasses.
“I… right… I…” You turned back quickly to see Taliyah staring expectantly at you, mouthing the word number at you. Right.
With slightly shaky hands, you reached for the small notepad at the front counter, taking that and a pen in hand and trying not to focus on the fact that Sett was watching you as you began to write.
Double-checking that the number was right, you handed the paper to him, your fingers touching as he took it from you. Remembering about your other promise, you reached over to grab the lifeguard jacket from the counter beside you. You went to hand him his jacket, surprised when he didn’t take it from you.
“What time do you get off?” he asked, and you answered a quiet six. “Give it back to me then.”
With a short wave and a grin, Sett made a show of stowing the phone number in his pocket before sauntering off and leaving you standing there slack-jawed.
“See? Was that so hard?” Taliyah called from her seat at the ice machine. “Now you just have to keep it together for your date.”
“I don’t know if I can,” you said, leaning back against the counter.
“You did last night, didn’t you?” she countered. “He’s just a guy. A really hot guy, but still. Don’t freak yourself out. You deserve a nice guy. It’s just a bonus that he has more abs than spiders have legs!”
You let out an amused huff. Taliyah was right, as she always was. You needed to get over yourself and let yourself have a good time tonight.”
But for now, you had customers to deal with. You and Taliyah let out a shared groan as you saw the nightmare mom and her army of brats heading towards you. You both returned to your posts, hoping their overly-complicated orders would be right on the first try this time.
Taliyah let out a yawn, stretching her arms high above her head before beginning the process of cleaning up for the day. After the last customer left, you hastily closed the order window, not wanting to give anyone the chance to come and beg about how it was only five minutes past closing and they’ve been wanting a banana split all day. You had learned your lesson from that mistake on day two.
Once the order windows were closed and locked, you joined Taliyah at the side counter, helping to return all the different containers of toppings to their rightful places. You found your hands moving slower, your nerves slowing you down in order to prolong the inevitable.
Taliyah eventually got tired of your pitiful attempt at stalling for time and gently removed the container of blue sprinkles from your grasp. “Just go, I’ll finish up here.”
“Are you sure?” you asked, and Taliyah sent you an unimpressed look. “Okay, fine, I’m going, I’m going.”
“I hope you know I expect all the details later!” she grinned as you made your way to the door, hesitating with your hand on the door handle for only a moment before opening the door.
It was mercifully less warm outside today than it had been yesterday, not to mention that you were also minus a heavy mascot costume. Yesterday hadn’t ended too badly for you, but you would still prefer to not end today in a hospital if you exacerbated your current heat-sensitive state.
You weren’t sure if you preferred if Sett was already there, or if you got there first to wait for him; neither option seemed to abate your nerves. But of course, the lifeguard was prompt as always, leaning against one of the beams that held up the awning above the order window.
You didn’t think you had been making much noise walking along the sand, but he seemed to hear you, turning to face you with a grin as you approached.
“Ready?” he asked as you came to a stop before him, tucking some of your hair behind your ear in an effort to keep your cool.
“Yeah,” you answered, impressed that your voice hadn’t come out squeaky with how nervous you were.
“Good,” he replied, before his grin turned teasing. “Was half expectin’ ya to come on our date in that rat costume.”
“Poro!” you corrected again, trying not to get flustered by his mention of this being a date. You weren’t sure what else it would be, but you couldn’t help the butterflies that fluttered in your stomach when he had acknowledged the obvious.
He surprised you by taking your hand, pulling you along with him as you tried desperately not to stumble and fall into the sand.
The beach crowd was beginning to thin out, people heading home or to one of the many beachfront restaurants nearby. Watching as a kid packed up his sand toys, you wondered if one of those restaurants was where you were headed as well. Sett hadn’t told you anything about what the plan was, and you found yourself curious when he led you to the bright white lifeguard office.
At first, you had thought that maybe he had forgotten something, at least until you followed him into the small building to see what looked to be the table that had previously held all the first aid kits, now decked out in a soft-looking purple picnic blanket. On top of the makeshift picnic table was a spread of various tasty-looking finger foods, the scene completed by two chairs pulled up to the table, cushions with a starfish pattern placed on the seats.
You were perhaps too dumbfounded by the sight, as you snapped out of it to Sett calling your name, looking over at him to see him looking surprisingly tense. You should probably say something, you realized.
“It looks great,” you said, meaning every word as you looked over the table. “Are those cabbage rolls?”
“Ma helped me make ‘em,” Sett explained, looking bashful for the first time since you had met him as he raised an arm to scratch at the back of his neck. “Helped me with all of this, actually. Never done anythin’ like this before.”
“You mean a picnic?” you asked curiously.
Sett chuckled. “Picnics. Dates. Not a lotta women ‘round here who wanted anythin’ to do with a fatherless half-breed.”
You had a hard time believing that; you had noticed several mothers checking him out as they packed their family’s stuff to leave the beach. But the hint of something sad in his eyes made you reconsider. You had no memory of seeing someone like him that summer you had spent here, but it wasn’t like that was a surprise to you. You and Taliyah had been in your own little world at that time, only ever spending time with each other.
“Well I’m excited to try your cooking,” you said, figuring a change of subject was for the best.
Sett grinned as he sat down. “Should be decent. Haven’t poisoned anyone since high school.”
Your eyes widened, hand freezing on its path to grab a cabbage roll, startled eyes darting to his.
Sett let out a bark of laughter at your alarmed face. “Relax. Wouldn’t poison ya. Maybe those kids that keep swimmin’ into the boating zone, but not you.”
“Thanks… I think?” you replied, biting your lip as you stared down at the cabbage rolls, weighing your options.
“Wasn’t real poison anyways,” he scoffed, taking some rolls from himself. “Not my fault sugar and salt look the same.”
You laughed, grabbing some food for yourself at last. “I suppose they kinda do.”
“Ma didn’t wanna hurt my feelings, but I knew when I tried some myself,” he explained.
“It was nice of her to try,” you offered.
“Too nice,” he said. “Ma is always too nice. Never said anythin’ bad about my old man, even after what he did. Had to work three jobs for years because of that bastard, but not a word.”
“Well I’m sure she’s glad she has you,” you commented. “Even if you give her food poisoning sometimes.”
“Once,” he corrected, taking a bite. “Learned my lesson the first time.”
You followed his lead, finding the food to be entirely poison-free, and actually the best home-cooked meal you had eaten in a long time. The conversation moved to swapping work stories, and you were unsurprised to find out that the mother and her the demon children had been a thorn in Sett’s side as well.
“They really buried sleeping sunbathers in sand?”
“Five times in a day one time,” Sett grouchily confirmed. “Last time Braum went to handle it. Said I would bury those little assholes under the sand if I had to go yell at them one more time.”
You sympathized with his pain. You felt lucky that you had only experienced the tip of the annoyingness iceberg with that group of little terrors.
“Braum?” you inquired as you both left the lifeguard office, the beach now fully dark.
“Fellow lifeguard,” he answered, nonchalantly taking your hand in his as you made your way off the beach. “Bald, giant moustache, even bigger than me. Better at the whole gentle-but-firm thing than I am.”
“Oh, I think I’ve seen him before. He comes by for poro pops sometimes,” you said, mind drawing a picture of the surprisingly friendly man in the small purple swim bottoms with a weakness for poro-shaped ice pops. “So are you the head lifeguard then?”
Sett considered your question. “Guess I am the boss of ‘em. All of the other lifeguards are always comin’ at me with problems to solve. The extra pay doesn’t hurt either if I wanna keep momma from feelin’ like she has to work.”
“Say thank you to her from me for the dinner. It was really good,” you said as you passed by the familiar tacky souvenir shop.
“She’ll be happy to hear it,” he replied with a soft smile that made your heart thump in your chest. “I know she wishes she had more to cook for than just me.”
You both came to a stop before Taliyah’s house, and you sneakily glanced over just to make sure Taliyah wasn’t peeking out from a window, which she wasn’t. You turned your focus back to Sett, only to find him closer than he had just been. How was he so good at sneaking up on you?
A large hand came up to cup your jaw, thumb brushing against your cheek, and your face was tilted up towards Sett’s. You were glad it was dark out, because otherwise you knew your reddening cheeks would be obvious.
“Still afraid of me?” he asked, voice low, lips so close to yours that you could make out a small scar that crossed over his bottom lip.
“No,” you answered, making no move to pull away as you stared up into his eyes. “Not unless I was about to taste your high school cooking.”
“Smart,” he replied with a smirk. “But I’m talkin’ about right now, because if you don’t turn and run into that house, I’m gonna kiss you.”
Your bag almost tumbled from your grasp, but you held fast as you stared at Sett, whose own had already become half-lidded. You had no words to describe how much you didn’t want to run right now, so you didn’t use any, instead angling your face further upwards, trying to make your willingness abundantly clear.
With a grin, he leaned down and kissed you.
Pulling back slightly, he dove back in, his other hand coming to your waist to pull you against him. You happily leant into him, your hands on his firm chest.
When he pulled back again, you opened your eyes at last, feeling almost as dizzy as right before you had passed out from heat stroke.
Sett looked content, and you were only hoping you looked half as composed as he did right now. He leaned back in to give you one more peck before pulling back from you entirely, the cold from the air outside immediately apparent as soon as you were minus his warm hands against your skin.
“Think I’ll stop by tomorrow,” he said. “Been cravin’ a cherry snowball for some reason lately.”
Sett was a man of his word, you learned, though you were less happy to see him the next day when he asked if he could order a cherry snowball served like last time, and then laughed as you had proceeded to sputter like a broken machine.
His visits became daily, sometimes bringing Braum with him, who continued to surprise you with the sheer amount of poro pops he was able to consume in one sitting. Quite a few nights a week, you had found yourself all around Port Navori with the half-Vastayan lifeguard. You were surprised at how supportive Taliyah was being, considering you had originally come here to spend time with her.
“Gives me more time to surf,” she answered with a shrug when you had asked her. “And maybe that boyfriend of yours can convince you to stay here after the summer is over.”
“Boyfriend?” you yelped, and Taliyah raised an eyebrow.
“You aren’t? I thought he would have made it official by now. It’s been over two weeks… have you guys even done it?”
“Taliyah!” you scolded her, switching back to professional mode as a group of people approached the stand.
As you helped prepare their orders, you couldn’t help but think about what she had said. You and Sett had kissed quite a lot actually, but he had yet to do more than that. But it was far too embarrassing a subject for you to have the confidence to broach, so you had resolved yourself to just be content with things as they were.
It was just your luck that right then was when Sett had decided to make his daily visit to the stand, approaching the counter as the other group left.
Taliyah apparently wasn’t done pestering you for the day as she sped to meet him at the counter before you could get there yourself.
“Hey!” she greeted Sett with a sly smile as you stood frozen behind her, nervous about her motivations. “You’re on your break, right?”
Sett raised an eyebrow. “What about it?”
“Well,” she said, in the voice you knew meant that she wanted something. “There’s a surfing contest I entered, and it’s almost my turn and it won’t even take that long and–”
“Tali!” you interrupted, rushing over to the counter.
“All I need is an hour,” Taliyah insisted, before pulling you beside her at the counter. “And she needs some help while I’m gone since lunchtime is when most of the people come by.”
“I’m fine, I–”
“I’m in,” Sett cut in, eyeing you with almost palpable smugness.
“Awesome!” Taliyah replied, immediately shucking her apron and hat onto the floor in her haste to get out the door. “Have fun, see you after I win!”
“Taliyah!”
Your call of her name fell on deaf ears as she already had her board and was out the door, leaving you standing at the counter with Sett still leaning against the counter.
Sett reached up to pull his sunglasses off, tucking them into his packet, his golden eyes fully uncovered and sparkling with mischief, the sight alone making you feel weary.
“Well? You gonna invite me in?” he asked. “Not sure I’d fit through the window.”
You scrambled to meet him at the back door, not wanting him to try and get into the shop through the order window that was less wide than he was. It was a strange feeling to open the back door of the shop to a guy that was almost too tall for the doorway, and another thing entirely to try and corral him into behaving as you tried to keep the ice cream stand functioning while Taliyah was gone.
“Aren’t lifeguards supposed to set a good example for others?” you huffed, wiping ice from your apron. At least he hadn’t made things truly equal and put cherry syrup on the ball of shaved ice he had pressed against your neck.
“Not when I’m off the clock,” he answered. “Besides, it’s my once in a lifetime chance to see what workin’ one of these is like.”
It would definitely be only one time if you had anything to say about it. If the almost-hour with him here had taught you anything, it was that Sett was not cut out to work in an ice cream shop.
The scoops of ice cream he doled out were easily twice the size of the ones Taliyah did, which made for happy customers, but a less happy bottom line if he was here for more than an hour. He was also lacking Taliyah’s patience, and you were forced to sideline him when an especially picky middle-aged woman came by who insisted you remake her smoothie four times until it had an acceptable pH level. The woman’s complaints had miraculously stopped the moment Sett had approached the window himself, becoming so invested in flirting with the handsome lifeguard that she had snatched her next smoothie attempt from you without complaint, not even glancing your way as she batted her eyes at him, only leaving when he excused himself with an excuse of needing to make more orders.
You approached Sett to check on him and found yourself pulled down into his lap as he leaned back in the chair.
Huffing, he pulled you against him, nuzzling against your neck. “Don’t know how you deal with that. Couldn’t pay me to make her damn smoothie one more time.”
“You get used to it,” you replied. “Don’t you deal with worse as a lifeguard?”
“Yeah,” he grunted. “But nothin’ sayin’ I gotta be nice when I deal with ‘em.”
“That’s true,” you laughed.
“If anyone complains, they can go somewhere else. Ain’t another beach within a hundred miles as well-run as this one,” he bragged, kissing at your neck.
As much as you were enjoying his sudden affection, you knew time was running low until Taliyah would return. You made to pull back to tell Sett that, but were instead pulled into a kiss that took you a few breathless moments to find the strength to escape.
“This Friday,” he murmured, face inches from yours. “There’s a party at the pool. You should come with me.”
You had heard about the exclusive pool parties on this beach from Taliyah, but hadn’t expected to ever get an invite. The pool, which was at the far end of the beach from the ice cream stand, was as exclusive as it got. Gated with walls so high that you couldn’t see in, it was the membership-only place to be for all of the elite in the beach town of Port Navori.
“Is that… okay?” you asked hesitantly.
“Why wouldn’t it be?” he countered, and you didn’t really have an answer. “It’ll be fine. Come. Have some people I wanna introduce ya to.”
The door burst open at the same time as you nodded your agreement, revealing Taliyah clutching both her dripping board as well as a shiny blue ribbon.
“You won?” you asked, trying to disentangle yourself from Sett, who reluctantly let you up.
“Easily!” Taliyah gloated. “Nobody else stood a chance. So how were things here?”
“The money ain’t worth the drama of this place,” Sett griped.
Taliyah laughed. “Smoothie lady come back with a vengeance?”
“I’ll take kids buryin’ sunbathers up to their ears over this any day,” he replied with a grimace, standing up and stretching.
At his mention of ears, Taliyah had brought both hands up to her own head about where Sett’s were on his head, and you quickly waved at her to cut it out before he saw. Thankfully she did, but you could tell that you were going to get asked if you had pet his ears yet as soon as his fuzzy ears were out of earshot.
“I’ll text ya the time when I know it,” Sett said, giving you a quick kiss on the head and a two-fingered salute to Taliyah before heading out the back door.
“So?” Taliyah asked, pulling the chair up to the ice cream station after she had stashed her prize ribbon in her bag. “Are they as soft as they look?”
“I didn’t pet them,” you answered.
“It’s been over two weeks!” she complained. “Has he at least asked you to be his girlfriend yet?”
You shook your head. “He did invite me to a pool party with him on Friday at that fancy pool.”
“Really?” Taliyah responded, eyes wide. “You have to tell me what it’s like! I mean, I’ve seen satellite photos, but it’s not the same…”
“I’ll probably be too nervous to remember any of it,” you grumbled.
“This is your chance!” Taliyah encouraged. “By Friday it’ll be three weeks. You need to ask him if he sees you as his girlfriend or not.”
You reeled back, waves of anticipatory anxiety rolling over you. “I don’t want to scare him off. What if this is just casual to him and I’m too dumb to see it?”
“Then you’ll know,” she replied. “I know you. It’ll eat you up if you put this much energy into a guy without knowing how he feels about you. So ask. If he says no, then at least you’ll have an entire store’s worth of ice cream to drown yourself in after!”
Taliyah was right. She was always right. You knew that you couldn’t keep whatever this was up without knowing where you stood with him. The more time you spent with Sett, the more you wanted, and if he intended to keep things casual, you would rather know sooner so you could make an informed decision.
So that would be the plan then. Go to the party, have a good time (and get some photos of the pool for Taliyah) and then ask Sett about the state of your relationship. Sounded easy in theory. You could only hope you could muster up the courage to go through with the plan when the time came.
After hearing that the party was to start at four, Taliyah had gone all out, closing the stand at two so she could help you get ready to impress the snobs. You hadn’t put up too much of a fight, happy to have her help and her company, as your nerves only climbed higher the closer it got to four o’clock.
“You’ll be fine,” Taliyah said as she styled your hair. “You’ll only feel worse if you don’t get an answer from him. And with how good you’ll look at the party, he won’t be able to say no!”
“Thanks, Tali,” you replied gratefully. “I promise I’ll get you a bunch of photos of the pool. And whatever else you want.”
“What I want is for you to stay here for good,” she said. “So really I’m just doing myself a favor by helping you. This place has been a hundred times more bearable since you’ve been here, and I want it to stay that way.”
“Still,” you persisted. “I feel bad that you’re going to so much trouble. If you want anything, just let me know.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Taliyah dismissed with a wave of her hand. “You should get going, don’t wanna be late to the fancy pool party.”
She practically shoved you out the door, and then you were alone, walking down the mostly-empty sidewalk. As you walked along the street, you couldn’t help but dwell on the possibilities. What would happen at the party? What would Sett say?
If he told you that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, what would you do? It was hard to have an answer for until you were in the moment, since a lot of it would depend on what Sett’s answer would be.
You walked through the parking lot, and then onto the beach, passing by kids building sandcastles and games of beach volleyball as you walked towards the end of the beach where the pool was. As you made your way to the fancier end of the beach, you began to notice the differences that marked the split between here and the side of the beach that you were usually on.
The shops on this side of the beach were much fancier, the sand littered with designer beach chairs and umbrellas. It was crazy just how different two ends of one beach could be.
The pool was noticeable from a great distance, or at least the wall white walls that surrounded it were. At least you weren’t going to get lost and miss the party entirely.
You approached the pristine white stairs that led from the beach up to the pool entrance, equal parts excited and apprehensive. The entrance was an open doorway, covered by a deep blue curtain and guarded by a muscled bouncer in white. The sight alone was intimidating; why hadn’t you just asked Sett to meet you beforehand?
You plastered a reluctant smile on your face before approaching the man. “Hi, I–”
“Name,” he interrupted, not looking up from his clipboard, sunglasses too dark for you to see his eyes.
Well it wasn’t like you hadn’t expected some level of standoffishness from the elite side of the beach. Keeping your smile up, you told him your name, waiting the prerequisite few moments for him to leaf through the list.
He seemed to have found what he was looking for, as his hand with the clipboard went to his side and he moved over to the curtain, pulling it to one side to allow you to enter. He had said nothing further, but seemed to be staring in your direction, so you took that as your cue and walked towards the now-open entryway and into the pool.
The entryway led into a hallway with pristine white walls, soft lighting hanging overhead. You could begin to hear chatter as you got closer to the end of the hallway, exiting into an explosion of sight and sound.
The pool was huge, and there seemed to be an intricate gold pattern on the tiles at the bottom. The pool was surrounded by lounge chairs and umbrellas, tropical foliage bordering the inner walls around the pool.
There were people all over, in and out of the pool. There was also a bar in the center which seemed to be very popular, as many people were carrying around intricate-looking cocktails.
More than the scenery or the people, your eyes were scanning the area for Sett. You checked your phone again to make sure, finding that it was the time he had told you to be here for. Maybe he was just running late or…
Your rising concern was broken up by the tap of designer wedges on the granite heading your way. You looked up from your phone to see two girls heading towards you, one of which you realized you had seen before.
The stuck-up redhead that had been the reason you had been out on the beach to spill the snowball on Sett in the first place was striding towards you, not a hair out of place underneath her likely-expensive sun hat. At her side was a lilac-haired woman in a swimsuit with a plunging neckline that was color blocked with various shades of purple. Together they made quite a striking pair, but your previous encounter with the redhead had you wishing that Sett would get here soon to save you from the impending conversation.
“Look, Sarah,” the purple-haired one sneered as they came to a stop before you. “So eager to pretend she’s one of us that she rushed right over.”
You took a step back, but that only seemed to embolden them.
Sarah lowered her sunglasses, staring at you like you were in her way. “Sad when they don’t know their place, Syndra.”
“Sett invited me here,” you replied defensively.
The women exchanged a pointed look before Sarah raised an eyebrow at you, a hand on her hip. “You ever think about why that was?”
“What?” you replied, unsure of what she was getting at.
“She doesn’t get it,” Syndra said with a cruel undertone in her voice that unnerved you.
“Look around,” Sarah said sharply. “Really look. Do half the people here look like they belong?”
You looked around, not sure what you were supposed to be seeing. A man with a hook-nose sat at the pool bar, flanked by women in skimpy bikinis. A humanoid form that seemed to be made of water conversed poolside with a large purple man in a ratty straw hat who was holding a ukulele. What were you supposed to be noticing?
“Sett is too nice to break it to you, so the job falls to me,” Sarah said with a smirk. “This is our annual loser fest. Charity case race. Bring-a-freak-to-work-day.”
“Pig party,” Syndra supplied.
“Yeah, pig party,” Sarah repeated, noticing your confused look. “Don’t know what that is? Poor thing.”
“I don’t–”
“It’s pretty simple,” Sarah interrupted. “We take half the summer to find the biggest freak we can, and then we bring them all together and crown a winner, and by the looks of you, Sett is really going for the top prize.”
You gasped, eyes wide, suddenly feeling like you were going to be sick.
“Aw, you really thought he liked you, huh?” Syndra mocked with fake sweetness.
“He didn’t… he never…” you stammered, clutching your bag to your chest.
“Well duh,” Sarah replied haughtily. “He wanted to win. Do you tell a pig when it’s about to become bacon?”
“What is meaning of this?” Braum accused, storming up to your group. “I have not heard of such a thing!”
“Need-to-know, Braum,” Syndra dismissed.
“And you didn’t need to know,” Sarah added.
You felt numb. This whole time… is that why Sett wouldn’t ask you to be his girlfriend? Why he never did more than kiss you? All this time, he had just seen you as a prize pig for an ugly date contest? It all made sense now, why he had been so desperate to get your number. He had never liked you… it had all been one sick joke. You should’ve known; nobody as attractive as Sett would ever see you as anything but a freak. And was too cowardly to come and tell you the truth to your face.
“Look, she’s crying,” Syndra taunted. “Don’t cry! Soon you’ll be queen pig!”
You couldn’t do this. You couldn’t stay here with all these people who saw you as less than human as your heart was breaking into pieces. You were so, so stupid, now wanting nothing more than to cry in peace. So you did, turning and running as fast as your legs would take you out of this awful place.
“Bye, piggy! We’ll ship you the ribbon!”
You heard Braum shout your name, as well as the cruel laughter of the women, but you didn’t stop running. Not when you got to the beach, nor the parking lot or the tacky souvenir shop, the sayings on the gaudy shirts too blurry to read through your tears. Your feet didn’t stop until you were at the doorstep to Taliyah’s home, out of breath, tears running down your cheeks.
The door opened, Taliyah’s face appearing in the doorway. “Hey, did you forget– wait, what happened?”
“Settrigh, stay still!”
Sett frowned, but did as his momma requested, allowing her to tie the ends of his hair after she had finished arranging it. He loved his ma dearly, but he really didn’t have time for her to redo his hair ten times right now.
It was getting way too close to the start time he had given you, and with how nervous of a person you were, he had intended to be on time, but that was before his mother had discovered the reason why he was cutting their visit short today.
Ma was aware that he had been seeing someone, had been ever since Sett had needed help making food for their first date.
“You do intend to let me meet her, Settrigh?” she asked, stepping back once she had fixed his hair to her satisfaction.
“Yes, ma,” he answered, standing up from the chair.
He wasn’t exactly surprised by his momma’s eagerness, considering this was the first girl he had ever dated, let alone considered introducing to her. This world was shallow; he had learned that early in life, which may be why he found himself so drawn to a girl who had put her all into having nothing to do with him. You broke up the monotony in this busy beach town and gave him something to look forward to other than seeing his ma for the first time in a long time.
Sett knew he was working on a time limit. You had mentioned that you had planned on only visiting Port Navori for the summer, and the summer was half over already, which meant his chances to convince you to stay were also halved, which is where tonight came in.
He had been taking things slow, not wanting to come on too strong and scare you off like he had watched happen to many a beachfront pick-up artist. He had been unwilling to rush things and lose you, but the slip of the calendar into August had forced his hand.
He would be lying if he said he wasn’t a bit apprehensive as to how today would end. How would you take him asking you to be girlfriend? He could only hope that he hadn’t misread you entirely.
He didn’t go to the pool parties often, but it seemed like a good way for him to introduce you to his friends, as they didn’t often all gather outside of those parties. He knew you would likely feel out of place, but Braum would be there, and he intended to stick by your side the entire time. And then after the party, if things went well, then maybe he would end the night with you as his girlfriend, but the party would be the first step.
As he left his ma’s house, he found his mind turning to the party. If you were wearing that red swimsuit you had worn last week, then it was going to be a difficult night for his self-control. His desire to take things slow had really taken a hit then, his only saving grace being ma’s lecture on being a gentleman pounding in his head as he tried not to look at how your chest was half-busting out of your top as you leaned over to pick a thread off of his glove. You were really too hot for your own good, which made him all the more eager to see you.
He knew he was running late, the party having started at least ten minutes earlier. It wasn’t his style to be late, but he was also pretty helpless to defy his ma. He only hoped that you hadn’t given up on him and left.
He took the shortest route possible, which included a short trek through some bushes that left him more leafy than he would’ve liked, but it was all forgotten when he spotted the stairs that led up to the pool entrance.
He was able to bypass the doorman who was only half as big as he was and seemed to be wary of interacting with him, stepping out of the way as Sett approached. He pushed past the curtain, hurried steps heading down the hallway. You hadn’t been waiting outside, so clearly you had been able to get in. He tried to fight back the excited grin that wanted to take over his face, but it was a losing battle as he entered the pool area, eyes immediately scanning the area for you.
“Your cruelty is unimaginable!” Braum’s booming voice carried easily through the air. “That girl has done nothing to be deserving of such treatment!”
What had Braum so worked up? Generally he was an easy guy to get along with, easily Sett’s most tolerable co-lifeguard. Not much phased him, which was a little concerning. But Sett had other priorities, the most important being locating you.
You weren’t in the pool, and didn’t seem to be sitting in any of the chairs. Maybe you had gone to the bathroom and would be right back–
“Well how else was she supposed to know Sett is too good for her? She clearly wasn’t going to see reality without a little help.”
Sett’s ears perked up, his attention snagged by the mention of his name, but especially by the latter half of the sentence. He turned around to see Sarah Fortune with Syndra at her side, who had her arms crossed and looked bored. In front of them was Braum, looking more irate than Sett had ever seen him.
“What’s this about?” Sett asked in a warning tone as he approached, the fur of his ears standing on end, leaving him feeling like he wasn’t going to like where this was headed.
“Nothing you need to worry about,” Sarah dismissed, flipping her hair behind her shoulder with a flick of her head. “We just showed a daydreaming little clout chaser the way out.”
Sett’s eyebrow rose. “A what?”
“Your ice cream girl,” Braum cut in. “These two have told her that this is a party for pigs. They have told her that you intend to bring her here to win ugly contest, and then she had run off.”
“What?” Sett growled dangerously, but the two women remained nonplussed.
“We did you a favor,” Syndra stressed. “If we get a reputation of letting just anyone in, then we’ll lose all status as members of the ruling class of the food chain. So we decided to throw this little pig party to make you come back to your senses.”
“You’re one of us, Sett,” Sarah added. “This pool doesn’t have room for little nobodies who don’t know their place.”
“Rather be a nobody than whatever the hell this is,” Sett snarled angrily, the full knowledge of the truth turning his bad feeling to a mix of simmering fury at the two women, and worry for you. He hated himself for being late and allowing this to happen to you. “Save your concern and don’t talk to me again.”
“But we were–” Syndra started, but Sett wasn’t in the mood.
“If you even look at her again, you’ll have me to deal with. And unlike that girl you just bullied outta here, I ain’t so nice.”
With that, Sett turned on his heel and stormed towards the exit to go do his best to fix this mess.
Braum quickly followed behind him. “My friend, I am sorry I could not stop them in time.”
“Ain’t your fault,” Sett replied. “Wish I’d have known. Gotta go see if she’ll even talk to me at this point.”
“I wish you luck,” Braum said as exited the hallway and emerged out into the sunny late afternoon.
Sett parted from Braum, taking the stairs two at a time as he surveyed the area, trying to see if he could catch sight of you. He quickly crossed the sand, making a beeline for the ice cream stand, even if it seemed like a longshot. He passed by a group of kids throwing sand on an older man sleeping on a towel, but ignored it and kept going. If anything was on fire, Braum could put it out. Sett’s sole focus right now was finding you and hoping you’d let him explain himself.
His chest felt heavy with anger and regret. How could he have let this happen? He hadn’t realized how cruel those women could be, and it had led to them making you believe he thought you were some freak he was using for convenience, which could not be farther from the truth.
Seeing those two talk about you like you were a pariah had brought him right back to when he was younger, to what he had endured at the hands of people just like Syndra and Sarah. People who had ostracized him, did their best to make him feel like he didn’t have a place here. Sett-the-beast-boy-bastard; the words had haunted him for a long time.
He had grown tough in response to the years of bullying, but you hadn’t. This was your first exposure to how awful this place could be. He and ma had dealt with it for years after pa ran off; he had nearly gotten expelled from school after a particularly bad fight with a kid that had made one too many nasty comments about his ma to his face.
Sett stopped, letting out a frustrated sigh as he saw the large closed sign on the front windows of the ice cream shop. So that was a bust. Without giving the store a second look, he continued on towards the rocks and then up to the parking lot.
There was only one other place to try. Chest tight, Sett followed the same path he had the night of your first date, the same path he took every time he walked you home. The walk there was one long blur, his feet unable to stop moving until the familiar house was in sight. Without a moment’s hesitation, Sett approached the front door, rapping his knuckles against the wood. When no answer came, he tried again, and after a few moments, the door opened to reveal Taliyah, who glared once she caught sight of him.
“What do you want?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.
“Is she here? I need to talk to her,” Sett said, urgency bleeding into his voice.
Taliyah sighed, stepping outside and closing the door behind her. “You’re lucky I’m even talking to you after this. You don’t deserve to talk to her if that’s how you let your friends treat her.”
“They ain’t my friends,” Sett argued. “If I’d have known they were gonna pull that shit–”
A sly smile lifted the corner of Taliyah’s lips. “Good answer. If you had said anything else, then I’d be slamming the door in your face right about now.”
“Then can I–”
“Talk to her?” Taliyah interrupted. “Nope. Not a good idea.”
Sett’s face must have taken on a darker quality, because Taliyah retreated back a step, raising her hands in the air in mock surrender. “Relax, tough guy. I didn’t mean it like that. But she’s a little too upset to talk to you right now.”
The information only made Sett feel worse. He wanted so badly to talk to you, to do what he had wanted to do before this mess had happened and make you his girlfriend. You had never felt farther away than you did right now.
“Give me some time to calm her down. I can get her to be at the pier at seven, then the rest is up to you,” she said, levelling him with a stern look. “I know this wasn’t your fault. That’s the only reason I’m giving you a chance. She really likes you, so try not to make her feel any worse than she already does. Bye.”
And then Taliyah was gone, retreating back into the house and leaving Sett standing on the doorstep.
“Brought you some water,” Taliyah announced as she entered the room, glass in hand.
“Who was at the door?” you asked.
She shrugged. “Someone looking for my dad. Told them he’s not here.”
You nodded. It was probably too much to hope that it would be Sett. You winced as you thought his name. You hated how much you wanted to see him, someone who had used you to win some popular kid ugly date contest.
So it had all been a lie then? All the things he had told you about his life, his family? Every time he had kissed you, was he picturing kissing one of those girls instead? Is this really what popular people did for fun? You felt stupid for falling for it, for falling for him. You were so stupid.
With some prompting from Taliyah, you took a sip of the water. After she had made sure you had drank the whole glass, she sat down next to you, taking the glass from you and setting it down on the bedside table.
“I should have known,” you croaked.
“Known that popular girls are bitchy? Maybe,” she responded.
“That it was too good to be true,” you corrected.
“You’re acting like you’re eighty,” she scolded. “There are other guys out there. Ones who don’t have shitty friends.”
“Yeah, I know,” you replied. “But I really liked him. And I didn’t even get to pet his stupid fuzzy ears.”
“Well if you’re joking, then you must be doing okay,” she said. “How about we go do something to take your mind off of things?”
You frowned, and she rolled her eyes. “Not right this second. I’ll give you until six-thirty to get yourself ready to go.”
Taliyah got up off the bed and headed towards the door. “I’m not gonna let your night be ruined because of a couple of snobs.”
She closed the door, leaving you alone with your thoughts again. You laid back on the bed, intent on taking some time before you got ready to just veg out. As much as the notion of going out didn’t excite you right now, it was probably better than being a mopey mess all night. There would be other guys; it was just a shame that you had liked this one so much.
Two hours later, you were walking down the street with Taliyah. Your getting ready to go had consisted of washing your face of all the smeared makeup from your crying, brushing your hair into a semi-decent state and then watching dumb cat videos on your phone until you felt like you didn’t want to crawl in a hole and die.
Taliyah had assured you that you didn’t look bad, which you might have believed if you hadn’t seen yourself in the mirror as you were leaving, but at this point you were beyond caring about how you looked right now.
Taliyah had refused to tell you where she was taking you, and so you were forced to follow her down the familiar path towards the beach, unsure of where it was you were being led. Part of you was worried that you might run into Sett, but then the more rational side of you took over; he was likely back at that pool, partying it up with those girls and lamenting that you had run off before he could win his ugly date prize. It was crazy to realize just how flawed your judgment had been.
You had expected to be walking onto the beach, as it was where you two usually spent most of your time, but Taliyah didn’t go to the parking lot, instead heading towards the rockier section of the beach. You hadn’t been over here before, only vaguely aware of the area as a prime fishing location, bait shops and the like lining the street across from this part of the beachfront.
She took you past the fishing spots, down to near the end of the beach, where there was a small pier that went about thirty feet out into the sea. Like most of the beach at this time on a weekday, the pier was empty, most of the fishermen also having headed out with their day’s catches.
Taliyah led you down the pier to the small bench at the end of it, pushing you to sit down. When she didn’t do the same, you looked up at her, confused.
“I’ll be right back,” she said. “I’m gonna go grab something to help cheer you up. You just enjoy the view for a bit.”
You decided to follow her advice, staring out at the water. There wasn’t much to see other than some boats in the far distance and some buoys bobbing in the water that marked the swimming section from the boating section.
It was kind of nice in a way, the calm waters helping you to relax as you watched the waves roll in and out. You stayed like that for a while as you allowed yourself to zone out until you began to wonder how much time had passed. Pulling out your phone, you saw that it had been almost twenty minutes, and yet there was no sign of Taliyah as you looked around.
You had assumed that she went to get you two some food, which likely was still the case. Some of the places here tended to have rather large dinnertime crowds, so a twenty minute plus wait wasn’t exactly unusual. You had no idea where she had gone, so all you could do was wait. If she wasn’t back by seven, you would just text her and ask what was up.
You let yourself be taken in again by the rolling waves as you continued to wait, trying to recall what kinds of restaurants there were on the beachfront. It couldn’t be that fish and chips place; Taliyah had spent a full half hour last week complaining about how stale their food was. Or the taco place, since it had been closed for renovations for the past week. You had been trying to think of a third option when your concentration was broken by someone taking a seat next to you on the bench.
You looked over, expecting to see Taliyah back with some food, but instead nearly jolted off of the bench when next to you was the very man you were out here trying to forget.
Just seeing him when you were feeling so pathetic sent a jolt of you weren’t sure what up your spine, your flight instincts screaming at you as you made to stand up, only to be stopped by a firm grip on your wrist.
“I know you don’t wanna see my face right now,” Sett said. “But I can explain.”
“Explain what?” you replied meekly. “Those girls explained enough.”
“I haven’t,” he insisted. “Just listen for a minute. Then you can leave, or punch me, whatever you want.”
You took a look around, still not seeing Taliyah anywhere. You weren’t sure what he could have to say that would make much of a difference, but you sat back down, and he let go of your wrist.
You turned reluctantly to face Sett, waiting for him to talk first.
“Never told ‘em to do somethin’ like that,” he said gruffly. “Didn’t even know about it ‘til I got there and you weren’t there.”
“But they said…” you started, taking a breath to keep yourself calm as you prepared to recount the hurtful words. “They said you were only spending time with me so you could win their whole ugly date contest.”
Sett’s eyes narrowed, the skin of his knuckles tightening on his curling fists. “First I’ve heard of it. Ain’t no way you’d ever place in an ugly contest anyways.”
His words threw you. “Wait, so you don’t think I’m ugly?”
He snorted, a grin playing at his lips. “Well I was plannin’ on askin’ you to be my girlfriend after the party, so nah, I don’t think you’re ugly.”
“You–” you gasped, pulse skyrocketing. This was not how you expected this conversation to go. You were half convinced you were experiencing auditory hallucinations until Sett reached over, pulling you into his side.
“This is my fault,” he spoke lowly. “If I hadn’t been late, I’d have been there to stop that from happening.”
“What happened when you got there?” you asked quietly.
“Braum told me what happened, then those two tried tellin’ me they did it for my sake,” he growled. “I thought I was used to seein’ through bullies from how I grew up. Doesn’t matter now, they won’t be botherin’ you anymore unless they wanna find out why momma says I got her temper.”
“Why were you late anyways?” you asked.
He groaned, leaning his head back against the bench. Even with the sun mostly set, you could clearly see a pink tone to his cheeks.
“What is it?” you pressed, curious about why the intimidating lifeguard was suddenly being so shy.
He let out a long sigh, finally meeting your eyes. “Ma was doin’ my hair.”
You looked him over, realizing that his hair did seem to be tied differently today. The only thing that looked the same was his ears, just as fluffy as they always looked. You could almost hear Taliyah’s voice screaming in your head to pet them. Speaking of Taliyah…
“Taliyah!” you gasped, trying to extract yourself from Sett’s grip, but failing. If Taliyah was to come and see you here with the guy she had taken you out to forget about… “My friend, she’ll be back any second and–”
Sett laughed, and you were immediately left with the feeling that you were missing something.
“She ain’t comin’ back,” he said amusedly. “I’ve got you all to myself for the night… if that’s what you want.”
“Taliyah set me up?” you breathed, not having suspected a thing.
“I asked her to,” Sett explained. “Wasn’t about to let you go ‘cuz of some shallow assholes.”
Taliyah was much sneakier than you had given her credit for, you realized, but you couldn’t bring yourself to mind right now. Though that didn’t mean you weren’t hungry, your previous stress melting away and removing the only distraction from your empty stomach.
“So,” you hummed. “Are you still going to ask me to be your girlfriend?”
You still had no idea what would happen by the end of the summer, but you really wanted this. You wanted him.
“Yeah, was plannin’ on it.”
You had thought about it all the way back to Sett’s house. Was it really for the best to go back to your city when the summer was over? Back to your parents’ house to find an equally demanding and unfulfilling job?
The more you thought about it, the more you wanted to stay. Taliyah was here, Sett was here, and other than your brief nasty encounter at the pool earlier, this summer had been the best one you’d had in a long time.
Sett seemed intent on giving you more reasons to stay as he was on you pretty much as soon as you entered his house. You had been standing in the entryway, looking at a picture of what must have been Sett and his mother when he caught you off guard, picking you up from behind.
You yelped, turning your head back to face him just in time for him to dart forward to snatch a kiss.
“You’ll have time to look around later,” he said as he walked down the hall, nudging a door open with his shoulder and then taking you into what looked to be his bedroom.
Once again, you were scarcely granted a look around before Sett had overtaken your attention yet again. You were swiftly carried over and deposited on the bed, Sett eagerly caging your body down against the sheets with his own.
“I wanted to go slow,” he said against your ear. “Didn’t wanna mess things up. But that’s not what you want, is it?”
“No,” you gasped as he snaked a hand under your dress, and then under your swimsuit bottoms. “I… I want…”
“This?” he inquired, thumb brushing against your clit, causing you to jolt against him with a breathy moan. “Waited a long time to hear that.”
Seeking more room to work, Sett pulled back to reach down and pull down your swimsuit bottoms, tossing them to the side. You watched with reddening cheeks as he returned his attention to you, head disappearing under your dress next.
His first lick against your pussy felt back-archingly good, but you didn’t have a lot of room to move with Sett’s hands holding your lower half in place. His tongue felt slightly rough, bringing pricks of pleasure-pain along its path.
Closing your eyes tight, you tried not to squirm, but it was difficult as Sett’s tongue prodded inside you before moving back to sucking at your clit. It felt good, almost too good, but you found yourself wanting more than his mouth against you.
“Sett,” you moaned. “Please…”
You weren’t sure if he got the message until you reached down to grasp at one of his hands. He pulled back from you, wiping one forearm against the wet lower half of his face as he sat back. His position on his knees on the bed allowed you a good look at the decently-sized bulge in the front of his tight swim shorts.
Sett caught your eyes, reaching one hand down to cup his cock through his shorts. “All you, sweetheart. Still think I think you’re ugly?”
You somehow managed to shake your head, speechless from his ardent display of his body. Sett seemed to bask in just how speechless he had made you, a sexy grin overtaking his face as he stared down at you.
“Couldn’t ask for more than this,” he said. “But if you want more…”
He was such a tease. With a burning face, you relented.
“Could you just put it in me please?” you asked, too shy to make eye contact.
“Can do,” he replied, and you could easily hear the smug satisfaction in his voice.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Sett stood up from the bed to pull his shorts off, wincing slightly when he pulled the tight fabric over his painfully-hard cock. Tossing the shorts to the floor, his attention quickly returned to you.
Giving his cock a few slow strokes, he watched you sit up on the bed. Feeling a burst in confidence from his display, you reached down to the hem of your dress’ skirt before pulling it up and off your body, Sett’s hungry gold eyes unable to look away from you as you moved onto your swimsuit top.
Once your top was off, Sett struck, pulling you towards him. Sitting at the edge of the bed, he pulled you onto his lap, reaching around to your front to cup your breasts as his mouth went straight to your neck. His hands were warm against the sensitive skin of your breasts, rolling your nipples under his thumbs as his teeth scraped against a sensitive spot on your neck.
You felt his hard cock under you and shifted yourself against it, Sett letting out a deep groan in response. You could feel how wet you were, but this wasn’t enough. You needed to fuck him, needed this building tension to come to a satisfying end for you both.
You turned in his lap, looping your arms around his neck and leaning down to kiss him. Sett was happy to meet tongues with you, one hand resting on your ass until you pulled back from the kiss.
You met eyes with Sett, who began to help you lift yourself up, lining up his cock with his other hand. When he brought you back down onto him, you both sighed as you were fully seated on his cock at last.
“Nothin’ else would feel as good as you,” Sett groaned as he began to help you move and up and then back down onto him. “Never wanted any girl as bad as I want you.”
You were much less coherent, moaning out his name as your hands grasped against his chest. With a further burst of confidence, you reached a hand up to his ear, running your fingers along the fur and enjoying the resulting groan, the next upward thrust of his hips hitting even better into you. Maybe you would leave this out at Taliyah’s interrogation later.
“There,” you moaned as he shifted you in his lap, his cock hitting even deeper inside you. “Right there, Sett.”
“You’re so tight,” he groaned, pulling you down into a rough kiss as he held you close, thrusting up into you as you eagerly moved along with him, needing to make this gorgeous man under you cum.
Sett came first, stilling for a moment before pulling you slightly back to put a finger to your clit, letting you cling to him as you followed him over the edge.
Once you had both come back down from the clouds, you were set back gently on the bed so Sett could run off to grab a cloth to clean you up with. You watched him leave the room, still having a hard time comprehending just how you had ended up this situation.
You definitely had some phone calls to make tomorrow. Your parents would be surprised, but you would probably focus on the Taliyah part rather than the new boyfriend part of your reasoning. Taliyah would be overjoyed for sure; you’d have to thank her for her meddling when you saw her.
As Sett returned, you realized something.
“Wait, is your mom home?” you asked in horror. You hadn’t made any effort to be quiet during sex, forgetting about his mother until he re-entered the room.
Sett laughed at your mortified face. “I don’t live with ma, so no.”
“Oh god,” you breathed in relief. “I was worried I was too…”
“She ain’t here,” he replied as he joined you on the bed, handing you the cloth he had grabbed. “You can be as loud as you want.”
You dropped the cloth, burying your head in your hands, Sett’s amused laughter ringing in your ears as you tried to content with just what you had signed yourself up for.
#xreader#readerinsert#league of legends#league of legends x reader#lol x reader#league of legends sett#sett#pool party sett#sett x reader#smut#pool party sett x reader
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© @pedropcl
lee bodecker x fem!reader.
summary. your father invited you to his birthday party and things ended badly.
words. about 2.3k.
warnings, tags. nsfw, +18!!! drunk state, language, unprotected sex, daddy!kink, very brief degradation, mention of bodily fluids, very brief mention of violence. and i think that's all.
a / n. first time writing for this man that has me obsessed, so i hope y'all like it! none of my writings contains reader's body descriptions to be inclusive. if you find something out of place, please send me a message and i'll change it.
You didn't want to be there, but it was your father's birthday and you couldn't miss it. More than thirty minutes had passed since the last time you saw your husband standing in a corner of the large living room, sipping from his glass of whisky and judging every guest around in silence. Lee hated your parents, your family, their friends. And you didn't blame him. Your family never accepted him, always repeating that he wasn't good enough for you, nor your interests. Except for your mom. She wasn't the only one who didn't treat him like dirt.
Once that you escaped from your father's arms, showing you as a trophy and trying to set you up on a date with one of his best friend's sons, you stepped out of the house to the back garden. It was cold outside, having to close your jacket around your chest as you closed both arms over it. Following the footprints on the grass, you reached the improvised parking where different cars were stationed. The smoke coming from nowhere called your attention, glimpsing Lee sitting on the hood of his black Ford. Cigarette in his left hand and bottle of whisky in his right.
You doubted for a second to interrupt his moment of peace for the first time in two weeks. Two long weeks where you barely had spent time together. He started holding over his shifts because, apparently, there was too much paperwork to attend. You couldn't help but think that he was raving mad about you, or about something you did unconsciously. But the real problem was that your husband never used to talk about his feelings or what was going in his mind.
“I think you've drunk enough”. You uttered watching him raise the bottle to his lips.
Lee chuckled ironically, shaking his head. “Lucky me I don' care”.
Frowning and with your mouth pressed closed, you walked towards his position to face him. He had never talked to you like that, but he was being honest, shrugging his shoulders to point it out a little more.
“I do. I do care”.
“Don' worry, darlin'. I ain't gonna shame you in front of your family”. He scoffed bitterly, finally sipping from his drink. “Watya' doin' here anyway? Party's indoors”.
“You're here tho”.
“And who fuckin' cares, uh? You were having so much fun inside with that… pretty boy who works in Wall Street”. Your husband mocked taking a drag from his cigarette. “We should divorce, don' you think? So you coulda go with him to the big city, and don' be stuck in… How d'your father call it? Knockemshit. Stuck with a… fat sheriff of a shitty town”.
Lee didn't notice the tears blurring your gaze till he raised his face. The bitter smile curving his lips suddenly disappeared, putting his pale blue eyes away from you because it was too painful for him to watch you cry. Your husband gulped hardly, kissing his teeth as he threw the cigar somewhere on the ground. You couldn't believe he really wanted to divorce you, wrapping your heart with a suffocating sorrow that barely let you breathe. He was your life and, after three years together, he seemed to not give a shit about it sometimes.
“I ain' like them”. You whispered sniffing.
“Tha' doesn' change the fact that you don' deserve a man like me. Your father is right. 'M a fucking loser compared to anyone inside his damn house”.
You loved Lee with all your heart, soul, mind, body. He was everything you want in your existence —your life. So damn obsessed with his touch, his kisses, his smell of wind and leather, his smile, that beautiful pair of pale blue eyes. You refused to believe he was talking seriously.
“You should be there. I— Imma go home, tell your mo—”.
Before your husband could finish his goodbye, you interrupted him by slapping his face. He didn't see that coming and you'd never imagine yourself hitting him. But you needed it, seeming the only way to stop him from abandoning you there. He kept his face away from you, trying to comprehend what had just happened. His drunkenness suddenly disappeared, pressing his inner cheek with the tip of his tongue whilst rubbing his hand over the reddened skin. You were so mad right now that you could set on fire the whole world.
And you were about to do it a second time when Lee caught your wrist in the air, painfully gripping his fingers around it to push you closer —chest against chest. Then, he raised his index finger. “Don' you fuckin' dare to try it again, y'hear me?”
You were furiously breathing, but not filling your lungs with air in reality, keeping your eyes on the blue ones that used to steal your heart every single day. It was like a contest of dominance you knew he always won. Any time.
Your husband didn't give you the chance to say sorry, slamming his lips on yours. A moan died in his tongue when it invaded your cavity while releasing your arm to fly his rough big hands to your ass, almost grabbing it all with his long fingers. Your digits went to the lapels of his leather jacket, not lasting too much there till finishing on the back of his head.
Lee was hungry for you, just like you were for him after two long weeks barely touching each other. Your husband devoured, sucked, and bit your lips, urging you to turn around enough to push you on top of the hood of his car. His hands pulled up the skirt of your dress, wanting to reach the waistband of your panties, receiving the great surprise that you weren't wearing any.
“You little dirty girl… Don' wantin' your Sheriff to lose time, uh?” He grunted with such an animal and eager tone, as he took care of the belt and the zip of his pants.
“I need you”. You sobbed against his lips, feeling his hands maneuvering between your legs.
At least, you were fast enough to cover your mouth with a hand when Lee rammed his rock dick into your soaked cunt, drowning in your palm a loud cry of pure satisfaction for being filled by your husband. Back and forth, he hit your body once and once, impaling you against the Ford still being furious by the way your father and friends treated him as if it was your fault. Lee was mad, really mad, digging his fingers in your hips to pin you on place and don't move, continuing fucking you harder and harder —challenging you to not be able to be quiet and make everybody heard how good he used to made you feel.
“Goddammit… you're so damn ti— tight, baby doll… So tight fo— for your daddy, ain' ya?”
“Yes… Yes, daddy”. You cried hiding your face into the crook of his neck.
His strong scent filling your lungs caused you to roll your eyes white, letting your soul leave your body while his cock attacked fiercely your pussy with no mercy. Your vocals were in sync with the screeching noise the car produced in every thrust straight to your guts. The pace was insane, intense than never before, and more pleasurable than you could imagine in your life.
Lee was aware how much you loved him, that you felt devotion for him. But sometimes —sometimes like those— he couldn't help but think he could lose you as soon as you realized who he was in reality. You didn't care. You weren't blind. You knew about his dirty laundry, his past, his sister (...). And you still wanted him with all your heart and body.
“Fu— Fuck, gonna put a… baby inside you”. He growled, wrapping his right around your throat to urge you to face him. “Y'want it, uh? D'you want dad— daddy to put a baby in that… beautiful belly?”
“Yes… please, Lee”. You whined with teary eyes, being too much pleasure for your body to handle. “Please, daddy… I wa— want you to… get me pre— pregnant with your child”.
Your husband's lips curved up in a petty smirk, pulling out from your dripping cunt, causing you to sob in disappointment. Lee managed to put you down on your shaky feet to turn you and force you to bend over the hood of his car. Ass upped, legs spread. He only took a second to stare at your glistening and abused folds in your arousal, prior to impaling you again. With a hand on your lower back and the other tangled in your head, your husband obligated you to arch your back as he continued banging your anatomy once and again.
At this point, you had forgotten your name, where you are, and if someone could hear how you cried pleased any time he crashed against your g-spot. It was a mix of pleasure and pain as Lee wasn't having any kind of compassion with your cunt, clenching unconsciously around his hard length. He knew then how close you were to cumming for him —because of him—, increasing the pace while you tried to find a place to put your hands on and find some balance to stay in place. As soon as the hand tangled in your hair landed back to your throat, you gripped five fingers around his wrist, enjoying the brief lack of air because of it.
“C'mon, my swe— sweet whore… Y'wanna cum for daddy, don't ya?”
His raspy and wrecked voice fell into your ear like an angelic melody, not being able to hold your moans anymore within your mouth. The knot inside your lower belly was bigger and bigger and suffocating, feeling how it could explode at any time. Lee shoved his cock non-stopping producing a sloppy obscene sound when his pelvis crashed against your ass, along the chink of his belt against the back of your thigh.
“Daddy… Daddy…” You called him while the tears started to fall again through your cheeks, this time, of absolute satisfaction.
You couldn't help but bite your lip strongly till the metallic taste of blood covered your tongue, letting yourself go as the knot bursted within your belly. The orgasm threw you above the edge with your husband's palm covering your mouth to not be heard or it would be really awkward to be caught by all the guests, even if he didn't care. He wouldn't mind showing that pretty boy from New York that nobody could fuck his little dirty girl better than himself. Oh, how funny it would be to see his face while your husband was ramming his cock into your abused pussy, cumming inside your tight walls, digging his teeth in your neck to mark his territory.
Lee came with a sensual and passionate hoarse gasp causing you goosebumps bristling your skin, burying himself balls deep to hold it inside the mix of your juices filling up your center. It felt like being in Heaven, although you weren't sure if you could walk after such an intense quickly, feeling your walls burning as his dick still twitching and stretching your cunt.
Your husband wasn't a man of kisses after sex, that's why he surprised you when tilted your face to his and pressed his lips on yours, panting, not caring about the lack of breath. It wasn't a lustful kiss either, more than a tender and fondly one, tasting your mouth, playing with your tongue.
Pulling out his semi-erection, Lee helped you to clean yourself with a tissue before using it to clean your arousal on him and toss it to the ground. As he put on his pants, you fixed your dress and your hair, turning around.
“You meant it?” You dared to ask, still having sorrow covering your voice. “Gettin' divorced… You mean it?”
“What?” He inquired, squinting confusedly until he realized what you were talking about. He chuckled holding your chin with two fingers. “You married me, darlin'. There's no other way you're gonna spend your life but with me. Willingly or not, you hear me?”
Lee raised both eyebrows very sure of his word before you nodded your head with a fleeting smile crossing your lips.
“Can we go home now…?”
“'S that what you want?”
You nodded your head a second time, while your husband placed his arms around you with hidden possessiveness to guide you back to your childhood's house. And of course, your father was enraged when you told him that you were leaving with your husband. He yelled at you and nobody tried to stop him till the moment he had the brilliant idea of pretending to lay a hand on you.
Lee punched him. Lee broke his nose. Lee made your father fall to the floor between the pretty boy's arms. And Lee never felt better in his whole damn life.
“Don't you ever come back to this house, if you leave now with this… bastard”.
“She doesn' need you”. Your husband cooed wrapping your neck with an arm, leaning slightly to borrow your purse. “Ma'am, my pleasure a see ya' again. The beef was delicious. G'night”.
You were yet processing what just happened, ashamed of the desire for your husband himself awakened inside you after watching him hitting your father. Lee could be a total asshole sometimes but one thing was undeniable: he loved you with all his heart and soul, he was obsessed with you since the very first time his oceanic eyes contemplated you walking down the street, smelling a bucket of roses you bought for yourself.
Never again you knew anything about your family. Not even when your son, called after your husband, was born. But you weren't sad. As Lee said, you didn't need them. You had your own family to take care of.
feedback is appreciated. if you enjoyed it, please leave a comment so i can know your opinion. reblogs are needed.
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#lee bodecker x reader#lee bodecker x female reader#lee bodecker x you#lee bodecker#lee bodecker x y/n#lee bodecker imagine#lee bodecker smut#sheriff lee bodecker#sheriff lee bodecker x reader#sheriff lee bodecker smut#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan smut#sebastian stan fanfiction
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I got a whole 4 hours of sleep today and have to pull a 12 hour shift. So I apologize if it doesn’t make sense, I am new to the Bucky fandom!
I like the idea of his grumpy, refusing to let anyone in, be slowly ground down by reader, but teeters back and forth until reader is in some sort of trouble. Then the flood gates of vulnerability open because he was worried about them. I mean he hasn’t been with anyone since the 40s right? Would he still know how to navigate caring about someone in that way? I don’t know. It was something that has been buzzing around in my head for a week.
Pairing: Bucky x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 1.9k
Warnings: langauge, vague description of sex (minors dni!)
BUCKY MASTERLIST
MAIN MASTERLIST
»»————- �� ————-««
You’d started out as neighbors - nothing more and nothing less.
Neighbors turned into causal acquaintances, fueled by your constant baking and copious amounts of goodies. Casual acquaintances turned into friends that would spend an occasional evening watching television together. Friends quickly turned into best friends that became utterly inseparable....with the occasional hook-up. You were hesitant to call it friends with benefits because that just sounded so crass. It was more like best friends with the occasional stress relief.
Stress relief. Sure that worked.
None that you wouldn’t have minded more of course. But you weren’t about to make a move on James Buchanan Barnes and ask him out on a date. No, you knew your place and his. He was physically akin to a god, mixed in with a bit of fuck boy, and yet...you loved him. You’d fallen hard and fast for the man that had gone from a mere stranger to a welcome and comfortable part of your life. But you’d never tell him that.
No, nope, hell no. Bucky surely didn’t reciprocate your feelings and you’d never been the type to make a move first.
Besides that...Bucky didn’t exactly strike you as a relationship type of guy. You’d seen him here and there with a girl or two, but it wasn’t anything serious. And since the two of you had started hooking up, you’d never noticed anyone else. And you hadn’t been with anyone else either. It was akin to a non-exclusive exclusive not-really-a-relationship relationship. Neither of you pushed it any further - you both accepted dates here and there but they never amounted to anything. Wonder why?
Unbeknownst to you, it wasn’t that Bucky didn’t want a relationship - he did. He did very much with you. But he just...there was something about being a one hundred and six year-old man that just left him confused and worried. He hadn’t exactly had the opportunity to date much and now that he had the time it reminded him of just how different things were. Dating was this weird confused jumble, but you were a clear and obvious bright spot. He had his doubts that you’d ever want anything more from him. He knew what he was - a mostly stable old man with a body that people seemed to enjoy. He made the most of that - it didn’t seem like people were interested in getting to know him much these days.
But you did - you always did. And, gods, he’d fallen hard for you - the kind of love that makes your stomach churn and heart feel like bursting and steals your breath away no matter how long it’s been. But what the fuck would you want with him? He’s a fossil with a boatload of mental trauma and even more sass and attitude.
You deserved the world and he only had himself to give. Of course, he was enough - way more than enough - but he didn't believe that.
There had been numerous occasions when you'd tried to be honest, to confess your true feelings, but you'd always managed to fall short. Every time you got close, something came up. And after the last girl you'd seen him with, you vowed to take your secret to the grave.
You had come close though - so close - especially the last time you'd hooked up.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
You were under Bucky, both of you naked and panting as you quickly approached your highs. He was buried deep inside you, head dropped to the juncture of your neck and shoulder, nipping and biting at the delicate skin.
Your legs were wrapped around his waist in order to hold him close. One of your hands was laced together with his while the other was wrapped around his neck. There was something so perfectly harmonious about how you always were together.
His name fell from your lips like a prayer, James, James, James as he kept going. It was the only time you called him anything but Bucky. As your vision had grown hazy and you felt that familiar warm start to blood your veins, you’d let your true feelings slip. It was so easy, so effortless and in the moment it just...happened.
I love you.
The declaration hung in the air as you felt your walls clamp around him and he reached his own eyes. That’s when you’d realized what you’d done. This time it was an entirely different sensation radiating throughout your bones - terror. Utter terror.
But if Bucky had heard your three little words he made no mention of them. Relief washed over you as you came to the conclusion that he was just as wrapped up in his own blissful haze that he simply hadn’t heard you. You were safe this time - but you’d have to be extra cautious from here on out.
Oh, but Bucky had heard you. Loudly and clearly. He chose to ignore your words because he was positive that he hadn’t heard you incorrectly. Surely you hadn’t meant to say that - and more importantly, it was a mistake. As much as he loved hearing those words from your pretty lips, he knew it was either an accident or a figment of his imagination.
You both pretended that nothing had happened.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
Bucky rolled his eyes lightly as he watched his phone light up with a call from Sam. He was half tempted to ignore it but decided to answer anyway; he was bored and the call might lead to something to do. You’d normally be hanging out with him on a Friday night, but his calls and texts had gone unanswered.
“Hey man,” Bucky picked up the call and walked into the kitchen to grab a beer, “what’s up?”
“You need to get to the hospital,” Sam was speaking so quickly that it all came out in a single slew of words as Bucky’s brows knitted together.
“I know I don’t have a lot going on this Friday night, but I think I’m okay,” he snorted as he opened the bottle and took a swig.
“No, no, no,” Sam interrupted by almost whispering your name, “there’s been an accident. She was hurt and taken to the ER. I was on the phone with her when it happened - just come. Now.”
Bucky didn’t even wait for Sam to finish before he dropped the beer and ran out the door. His whole body felt like it was growing numb and the only thing on his mind was you. You couldn't be hurt...you just couldn’t. Bucky couldn’t imagine any sort of reality in which you weren’t there.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
As soon as he ran into the hospital, seeking out the emergency room, he was asking about you. He looked probably just as crazy as he felt as he was nervously directed to your room. He almost jogged down the hall and into your small space. Sam stood at the end of your bed, looking down at you with a concerned expression.
“What the hell happened?” Bucky could barely bring himself to look at you as you laid on the small bed, looking so helpless and fragile. You were sleeping, sedated from lots of heavy drugs, but hooked up to several beeping machines. Your arm was in a cast already, bruises and contusions and cuts littered every bit of your skin that he could see. His heart plummeted into his stomach.
“She was crossing the street and got hit by a car that didn’t slow down enough in time,” Sam’s heavy was heavy as he rubbed at his tired, “I heard it all happen, Buck. It was terrible - but she’s strong. She’s going to be okay. No internal damage, luckily, but she’s going to be in a lot of pain for a while. The arm’s broken.”
“Jesus,” Bucky sighed as Sam nodded.
“I called her parents and they’ll be here soon. She’s just sleeping but hopefully will wake up soon.”
“Okay,” Bucky took a hesitant step closer.
“She asked for you,” Sam hadn’t been sure if he should have confessed that little part or not, “when they were bringing her in. Kept repeating your name. You should just tell her, you know. She’s obvious she feels the same. Don’t be idiots.”
“Thanks,” Bucky rolled his eyes dramatically as the two men shared a quick laugh before Sam hugged him, “I’ll stay here if you want to go. You’ve done a lot already. Thank you for calling me.”
“I got you man,” Sam gave him a half smile, “call me if you need anything at all...or if anything happens.”
“Goodbye.”
As soon as his friend left, Bucky came over to you, his fingers grazing the side of the small, horrid looking bed. He was going to help you however you needed it for however long it would take till you were better and out of pain. If he had the choice, he wouldn’t ever leave your side again.
This whole time he’d been so dumb, so silly. He should have just told you how he left - a long time ago and gotten over himself. A heavy sigh escaped him as you pulled up the uncomfortable plastic chair and took a seat next to you.
He gently, ever so delicately reached for the hand that was in the cast and held it in his. It almost made him laugh with how much smaller your hand was than his. They fit perfectly together.
He watched the steady rise and fall of your chest as you slept, wondering when you’d wake up. He hoped soon - so he could finally tell you all of those unspoken words.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
“James?” a croaky, dry voice met his ears as his tired eyes snapped open. He blinked a few times to adjust his vision before focusing on you. You were looking back at him with a tired, sleepy little smile on your features. You looked beautiful, so damn beautiful, despite the blues and purples painting your skin, “what are you doing here?”
He must have fallen asleep at some point during the night. He was still holding your hand. He beamed back at you, “hi pretty girl. Sam called me and told me what happened. I came right over.”
“I’m anything but pretty right now,” you laughed lightly but quickly grimaced at the pain, “how long have you been here?”
“Since yesterday evening,” he confessed quickly, “I didn’t want to leave - wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Oh Bucky,” there was that saccharine little smile on your face. The same one he loved so much, “you didn’t have to. I...I really fucked up movie night, huh?”
“I’m in love with you.”
He finally got those damn words out before he could change his mind or think too much about it. Your face immediately lit up with a grin as you searched his cerulean eyes.
“Do you mean it?” you asked softly as he nodded, feeling a blush creep into his cheeks.
“Of course.”
“I love you too, Bucky,” you replied, giving his hand a tight squeeze, “I’m in love with you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Good,” he whispered as he leaned closer to you, “because I’m not going anywhere, pretty girl. Not now, not ever.”
“I don’t want you to, Bucky,” you promised, “I want you with me always.”
“That sounds perfect to me.”
»»————- ♡ ————-««
Marvel Taglist (add yourself to a taglist here!)(strike-through means I couldn’t tag you)
@qhbr2013 @greeneyedblondie44 @april-showers-and-flowers @softboiipascal @im-an-adult-ish @patzammit @niki-xie @xxlovingfandomsxx @startrekkingaroundasgard @welcometothepedroverse @actual-spawn-of-satan @punkerthanpascal @lazybeeches @someday-when-you-leave-me @justgivemethekeys @salome-c @rosiefridayrogersunday @neptunesglow @artsymaddie @haildoodles @amneris21 @star017 @irepostthingsiwanttoseelater @its–fandom–darling @ayamenimthiriel @alyispunk @djarinbarnes @edencherries @ashamed23 @sunsetskywalkerr @nikkixostan @spookispunk @cable-kenobi @hrtsgetbrkn @ironicfoxes @iilwjbb @cc13723things @thenormreedus @gooddaykate
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x you
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Potion Partners
Pairing ✨- Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader
Summary 💓: Y/N is a quiet girl that stays clear from trouble, but that becomes difficult once she has to partner up with Fred Weasley in Potions.
Word Count 🖊: 1,724
A/N 🗣: hello all!! this is my first ever imagine on tumblr and first i’ve ever written really, so this is quite different to what i’m used to! but i hope you all enjoy anyway!
Warnings ⚠️: this is just fluff so i think we should be good
Requested? 📮 - nope
Masterlist
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
It had been the one class Y/N had been dreading all day: Potions. It wasn’t that she wasn’t any good at the subject, she just didn’t like how Professor Snape treated the students and favoured others.
Y/N was not one of those favoured, unfortunately.
As soon as she had finished Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall, she raced to Potions, Snape couldn’t take housepoints from her if she arrived early. It took some time, but she finally arrived, only a few other students waiting outside the classroom. Clearly they had the same idea as her.
With a smile to her fellow classmates, she walked over to the stone wall and opened one of her books. Might as well spend the rest of time preparing for the class. It was quite peaceful, only the flames from the torches and quiet chatter from students were heard.
But of course, it didn’t stay quiet for long. A door behind Y/N swung open, slamming against the stone loudly. The noise completely startled the girl, dropping her books on the floor. Y/N quickly glanced up to see it was the Weasley twins that had just entered the corridor.
Fred and George Weasley. The class clowns of Hogwarts and two heartthrobs that the students of the school adored. Would Y/N be lying if she said she hadn’t fancied one of them? Completely. Fred Weasley had always a been a secret crush of hers since she first saw him, but who could blame her?
Unfortunately, girls like her didn’t stand chances with boys like him, and she had accepted that a long time ago.
Before the red head could catch her looking at him, she focused her attention back on the fact her books were completely sprawled along the stone floor. Y/N bent down and started to try and gather her books, lucky for her one of her fellow classmates started to help her pick them up.
“Thank you.” Y/N muttered before she stood back up and accepted the books from the classmate.
“No problem.” The voice accepted, Y/N looking up and seeing it was none other than Fred Weasley. Her eyes widened slightly, mentally kicking herself as she realised how strange she looked.
Y/N didn’t say anything, just gave a small smile and turned away from the tall Weasley. But he didn’t seem to be finished talking to her.
“That’s a lot of books you have there, Y/N.” Fred pointed out, which almost made Y/N’s heart leave her body. He knew her name?! She kept to herself and only had a few friends, nothing that would put herself out there enough for Fred to know her name.
“You know who I am?” Y/N quietly muttered, her cheeks starting to turn a bashful red. Oh how she was thankful that everyone else was focused on their own conversations to see what was happening.
Fred raised an eyebrow and let out a breathy laugh. “Course I do.” He replied, like it was just so obvious.
Fred Weasley had messed up here, he had only found out who Y/N was just a few months ago thanks to Angelina and Alicia. He was dragged to the library by his two friends and seen Y/N reading at the table herself. Immediately, he caught himself staring, how had he never noticed her before? She was beautiful.
He questioned his two friends and they informed him who Y/N was, but they didn’t know much about her themselves. Fred was desperate to find out more about the mystery girl, starting to try sit near her in classes and in the Grand Hall, hoping she didn’t think he was weird.
She didn’t notice most of these advances, and if she did, she avoided eye contact with him at all times, which he didn’t understand why, had he pulled a prank and she had fallen victim to it? He wasn’t sure.
Y/N didn’t have the chance to reply to Fred as the Potion’s classroom door opened, Professor Snape walking out and sternly looking at them all.
“Most of you will be unable to do this, but enter the classroom and stand by your desk.” Snape eyes fixated on Fred and George.” “Calmly”
Fred and George just smirked at their Professor as the rest of the class entered his classroom. Y/N smiled at Alicia Spinnet, who she shared a desk with, as they settled into the seats.
Snape didn’t seem to trust the Weasley Twins today, motioning them to get up from their seats as soon as they sat beside each other.
“I don’t believe that either of you can be trusted working with each other. So today you’ll be split up.” Snape informed them, Fred and George usually always worked together so most of the class were shocked at their Professor’s demand.
Snape had a very slight smile. “George with Miss Spinnet, Fred with Miss Y/L/N.” He requested them. Y/N couldn’t believe it, how was she going to work with Fred? Alicia got up from her seat and walked over to where George stayed seated, Fred getting up and walking over to where Y/N was seated.
“Alright?” He greeted as he sat down, Y/N nodding slightly, Godric how she hoped that it wouldn’t be this awkward the whole period.
Snape explained to them what potion they would have to produce today, Y/N writing down all the ingredients while Fred was busy balancing his quill on his forehead out of boredom.
“Do you want me to go collect the ingredients?” Y/N questioned, bringing back Fred into reality, who had just realised that the class had began to make the potion.
“I’ll go up.” Fred offered, getting up from his seat. “Are they all written down here?” Y/N nodded as she handed him the piece of parchment, her hand briefly brushing his, sending butterfly’s to her stomach.
Fred didn’t have a clue what half of these ingredients were, grabbing what he thought was each product and hoped for the best. He brought the stuff back over to Y/N, who raised a brow.
“Are you sure this is all the right stuff?” Y/N asked, scanning the stuff Fred had picked up.
“Of course.” Fred confidently replied. Y/N shrugged, picking up a bottle to start the potion when a hand went on top of hers. “I’ll do the potion, you can sit and relax.” He offered.
“Oh, Fred, it’s no problem.” Y/N gave a small smile. “Everyone else is working in partners, you don’t need to do everything.” She didn’t trust he knew what he was doing anyway, so she just hoped he let her help.
“I’m actually quite the potion’s master, Y/N.” Fred smirked as he began to add random ingredients to the caldron. That smirk kept the girl quiet, her face turning bright red and unable to respond.
Fred was surprised that Y/N was actually talking to him, and actually holding eye contact. He hoped for his sake that his random ingredients he picked up would benefit him and make the potion that was required.
But life would be too easy if that happened.
The potion exploded up in the air, barely missing both Fred and Y/N’s face. Fred let out a laugh at what just happened, not noticing the complete shock present on Y/N’s face. Her eyes looked to the front of the class to see Snape’s face.
Safe to say he was pissed off.
Snape gave them both detention, something Fred was used to and Y/N not so much. They stayed after class since it was the last period of the day and Snape demanded that they cleaned every caldron to be completely spotless.
Snape had left to go to speak to Professor Flitwick, so it was just Fred and Y/N, alone. For the first few minutes, it was silence. Y/N too busy scrubbing one of the cauldrons to notice that Fred had walked up beside her.
“You know, I’m quite happy we’re in detention together.” Fred smirked at her, Y/N thought he was having a joke around.
Y/N smiled at him. “Fred, you basically live in detention, why would this be any different?”
Fred faked offence to this. “You wound me woman, I actually have a life outside of detention.” He joked, Y/N letting out a laugh. “Seriously though, this had been my favourite one.”
“I’m glad my company has been fun.” Y/N giggled, starting to feel more confident around the red head.
“I’m just gonna go straight to the point.” Fred informed her, making Y/N stop cleaning the caldron for a moment. “Do you want to go to Hogsmeade together at the weekend? To the Three Broomsticks?”
Y/N raised a brow at the boy. “Are you asking me on a date?” She questioned, quite confused.
“That’s typically what a man does when he fancies a girl, yes.” Fred replied, Y/N didn’t trust him, this must be some sort of joke.
“Is this some sort of prank?” Y/N asked. “Make me think you’re interested and make a fool out of me for believing?”
“What kind of pranks do you think I do, Y/N?” Fred let out a laugh. “I’m sorry if I’ve pranked you in the past-“
“You’ve never pranked me, Fred.” Y/N interrupted. “I just didn’t think you liked me.”
“Lucky for you, I do.” Fred smirked, Y/N playfully rolling her eyes.
“So charming, Weasley.” Y/N beamed, she felt so much better about talking to him, she needed to tell him she felt the same way. “I’ve liked you…for a quite a while now.”
“No one can resist me so it’s understandable.” Fred joked, he couldn’t help himself, could he? Always making a joke about anything and everything.
Fred began to lean closer, eyes flickering from Y/N’s plump lips and her gorgeous eyes. Y/N leaned forward too, this would be her first kiss, she hoped it would go alright.
Their lips pressed together and it was like the both of them had been together for years, they fit together like jigsaw pieces. They were too busy in the moment with each other to notice the classroom door swing open, the Slytherin head entering.
Professor Snape never partnered Y/N and Fred ever again after what he seen.
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i ramble on so much and at the end i felt like i rushed it! i need to figure out how to write these because i’m not sure this was that good, but i tried! first imagine so go easy on me if this is bad!! i’m used to writing fics hahah
my requests are open btw! :)
taglist: @malfoysstilinski @drearyxo @just-a-bittersweet-tragedy @fizzleberries
#wroetospotterwp#fred weasley#fred wealsey fic#fred weasly x reader#fred weasley imagine#fred weasley fluff#fred weasley fanfiction#harry potter
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Diluc Ragnvindr - Yandere Profile
Yall are so kind and I am so undeserving hhhhh
If you stand idly by that flower girl in Mondstadt her idle line is something like "All I can think about is Diluc" And honestly same
This man exudes bde I'm sorry I just... It is a known FACT that Diluc is packing and I refuse to believe otherwise, lord have mercy I'm bout to SIMP
tws: yandere, mentions of violence
tws (below cut): noncon, kinda misogynistic in 1 part
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What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?
Acutely aware, and in the beginning, frustrated with his own self. He's very much a loner type of guy, and he likes it that way -- in his mind, people are distractions.
He doesn't talk to you too much, but you'll slowly and subtly notice his presence with increasing frequency. He hovers. Silent, but intimidating. He's always there, in the background. Somehow, everywhere you go, you can spot him somewhere if you try, and even if you don't see him, you know someone is watching you, from the skin crawling feeling of eyes on you. It will never go away, and it's easily enough to drive you to paranoia.
In reality, he'd like to talk, really, but he doesn't know how. For the first time in his life, he actually has the urge to speak with someone, not for his own desire to speak so much as speak with you- to learn about you, to hear your voice. But the poor thing has no idea what to say. He's used to just going about his day and only speaking to others when they need something from him.
When he does talk to you, he finds himself even enjoying the silliest and most trivial of things you say. Normally he hates small talk, and he's normally annoyed by anything outside of very serious matters, but even if you're raving about something he has no interest in, he's happy to listen just because it's you.
He's fairly aware, too. Not a delusional for the most part, and he's honestly a bit afraid of rejection - he knows he's not the most pleasant or charming person to be around, and certainly not the best conversationalist. He tries to make up for it in thinking that his money, status, and protective ability can be something he can use to draw you in, so he makes sure to subtly and frequently remind you of those things.
How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?
Eventually, it's inevitable. It will happen, it's just a matter of time. His reasoning is less about your fragility and safety, even if he pretends it is, and more of a selfish thing. He doesn't want to be, and he'll certainly feel guilty for it, but he's a silently jealous person. Hearing you talk to others, seeing you smile at others, it drives him up the wall. Even during the day, he can't focus, thinking of what you're doing, who you're with, what you're doing with that person, and so on. He can't get anything accomplished, and people notice something is wrong with him. Really, it won't be a very long time at all.
He's not a very good manipulator, and he can't really think of a good reason to get you to walk into the winery backrooms on your own, so as barbaric as it may feel, he'll settle for the old fashioned way, just taking you, probably when you're walking all by yourself late at night. He is very intelligent, and will most likely formulate a way of making you seen responsible for some crime upon your disappearance, to discourage you from leaving, and to make it seem less mysterious when you disappear. People will assume that the darknight hero got to you. And, well, they’re not wrong.
How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape?
Initially, he's watchful, staying at the winery so that you can't get far without him noticing. He'll cancel his plans elsewhere and make sure he's never more than sight distance away from the building. With time, he'll have to leave, and when he does, he'll probably invest in some very high quality locks to keep you in. Should that prove to not be enough, he'll have to use chains to keep you attached to the wall, instead. Needless to say, it's difficult.
If you manage an attempt, he'll be angry, sure, but he understands why. The first time, at least. Don't push it. If you manage to keep trying, his sympathy for you will slowly erode with each successive attempt, and soon he'll run out of mercy, and decide maybe just forgiving you isn't enough, and you actually need to learn a lesson to prevent this from happening again.
"Again? You really... Really don't give up, do you. This is the fourth time now... You've really pushed it, you know, I've tried to be nice. If you're not gonna get that, I'll make you understand."
How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?
Canonically speaking, he's fairly good at predicting the actions of others. He's clever like that. However, he's not the best at reading faces. As far as lies go, he will detect it maybe 80% of the time, but you can probably get away with a bit - once he catches you doing it once, though, he'll suspect you from there on out, and be much less likely to buy your lies.
When it comes to manipulation, he's one of the ones where it's like, he kinda knows, and lets it happen anyway, if it's for the sake of you being happy with him. That, and he's just flat out weak to your smiles and begging for little things. He's got his limits, though, so you'd be wise to only use this sparingly and not push it.
How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?
Protective to the maximum degree. Probably the worst of genshin boys.
Absolutely zero contact with the outside. No family, no friends, he might even go to the extent of faking your death to ensure there's not even anyone who will look for you.
Unlike Childe, Zhongli, or Albedo that I've mentioned as allowing you for walks or outside visits... That's not happening with Diluc. No, he's insanely protective, to the point that you very well might not see sunlight again, except through a window.
And he gets that it can get depressing, he really does, it's just the one thing he can't do. He'll try to substitute it, get you nice large windows to let the sun in that you can sit in front of - provided he's there - and maybe after a while build a little screened-in porch for the winery that you can walk around on - again, provided he's right there. You really can't expect him to let you out there when you're alone. What if someone saw you and tried to hurt you?
You get the feeling it's less about keeping anything else out, and more about keeping you in, though.
He's actually good about letting you do things for yourself, though. He won't restrain you from cooking or kitchen utensils or anything like that, unless you do something stupid like try to hurt him or yourself, in which case it'll be a revoked privilege.
What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?
Initially, he tries to go easy on rules, as part of his attempt to make you more accepting. He'll keep you more restrained for the first little while, and later on you'll be allowed to walk, but certain sections of the building will be off limits. He's fairly simple - be obedient, stay inside, don't try to fight. He'll invent new ones based on your behaviors as time goes on, but for the most part, he doesn't want to control you too much.
He fears getting too mad and making you scared of him, so, he struggles to punish you initially. He's probably willing to let quite a bit slide, but once he senses you're taking advantage of that, he'll put an end to it. Once again, he can thank the fact that he's naturally intimidating - he'll grab your jaw and force you to look at him, and honestly, just the look on his face is enough to send chills down your spine. If you're persistent, he's not able to leave you all alone and isolate you, no, he can't handle being away from you for that long. He'll appeal to the punishment of boredom, tying you to one spot and giving you nothing to entertain yourself with will get you to crack in a fairly short amount of time.
Humiliation works well, too. You're all alone except for him, you don't need clothes. So if you want them, you'll have to behave.
How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?
This man only has to look at people to send them running. He's very grateful for his scowl once he realizes the power it holds. You'll be none the wiser as to why everyone you meet seems to end up avoiding you, why people get nervous when you approach, why you can walk into a public place and it will clear out within minutes of you walking through the door. It's ok, though, since you have him to go to for your problems. He'll shrug and tell you he doesn't know why it happens to you, but it's no big deal, you don't have to worry about it, because you don't need them anyway, right?
He's not above having chats with people either. If they're not driven off by the glares, he'll give them another chance by spelling out very clearly that they should back off.
With persistent offenders, though, he has to come up with other means. He's not a delusional, and he knows deep down that this is selfish, that they're not really doing anything wrong per se, but his anger is violent and ultimately overrides any guilt. He'll find a way to make them out to be criminals, spies, or some other form of bad person, and they'll meet their fate at the hands of Mondstadt's mysterious nighttime vigilante.
How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?
His default personality is... Irritated. He scowls a lot, he gets exasperated easy - even if he tries to be a bit more pleasant for you. His irritation is so common that seeing genuine anger is a bit rarer.
When he does, though, it's one of the worst. To really, really make him mad, you'd have to be exceptionally, intentionally bratty to the point of antagonism - he's understanding and lucid enough to understand why you fight him, why you try to run, but do it over and over relentlessly, or just be a childish brat and ignore his warnings, and he'll snap. His voice bellows when he's mad, it's deep and terrifying and echoes off the walls, his eyes narrow and he stomps heavily with every step. He'll grab you by the arm hard enough to bruise, and if you refuse to follow and dig your heels in, he'll just roughly swing you onto his shoulder and carry you.
He has to exert the anger in some way, though. He's not like some yanderes that can be talked down or calmed, or are going to go easy on you if you apologize and beg. Once the anger is there, it's there until he physically takes it out in some way.
So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?
It depends, really, because he's highly lucid, so he has very little delusions about you. Unlike many of the others, he's willing to acknowledge your mental competence, and if you're intelligent and have life experience he'll acknowledge it. He won't recognize physical capability, though, since you're nothing compared to his strength. If you are a capable, independent person, he won't delude himself into thinking otherwise. It will, however, have a negative effect, probably the opposite of what you hope for - he's going to feel a bit intimidated by it, really, because if you're capable and independent, you don't need him as much. He's more likely to find ways to force your dependency on him, if so, but deep down he knows you're an equal on a mental level, and it's frustrating.
Now, otherwise - if you're a little more on the ditzy, airheaded side - it will be below. He's realistic, again, and if you genuinely do fall into the category of being naive and a bit dumb, he'll recognize it. He feels more secure in your dependency, and he's more likely to baby you this way, and will absolutely be more protective.
How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?
He really wants you to. He's not sure if he deserves it, though. He's acutely, painfully aware of how awful the things he's done are, and to top it all off, he knows that he should wish he was a better man that had self control, yet... He doesn't. He can't lie to himself and pretend to even have a shred of regret, even if he feels guilt. If he hadn't done all those things, you wouldn't be here with him like this, and even though he knows it's selfish, so very, very selfish, knowing that the horrible things he did got him the result he wanted makes it worth it. And given the opportunity to go back, he'd do it again.
He wants you to genuinely love him, and even though he struggles with human affection and communication, he'll try his best to be sweet to you, say nice things, try to be less irritable, try to talk more.
But if dependency, isolation-induced attachment love is the best he can get, well, that's still love.
Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?
He likes to just... Spend time in your presence. He's still ultimately not much for talking, he runs out of things to say very quickly and even if you're not talking, he's very very happy to be around you. If you're being cold towards him even, he wants to just sit there and be beside you, if you get up and sit on the other side of the room, or walk to another room (provided you have the privilege to do so), he'll follow you wherever like a little lost puppy and just silently sit right back down next to you again. He soaks in your presence like sunlight, it makes him happy.
If you show him affection, especially after an abduction or when stockholm syndrome starts to set in, it's one of the few times you'll see him smile. His smile is soft and faint, and it's less his mouth so much as his eyes that seem to light up. If you show him affection, you can eventually reach a very vulnerable, very soft side of him. He keeps up walls for everyone else, and he kind of desperately wants someone he doesn't have to do that with, so he'll crumble to your affection fairly quickly, once he's assured of your love.
Also, he's one of the ones who fully understands why you're mad. He gets it, he's lucid, and he honestly knows how awful what he's doing is. He still hopes you'll get over it, though, and if confinement and isolation except for him is what it takes to achieve that... So be it. Rather than justifying his actions, he acknowledges what he's done, but he's aware that psychologically, he's already long past the point of no return, and he can't bring himself to stop.
“I know this wasn’t... what you wanted, and, I know it’s, I know this was really, really bad, but I only did it for your sake. If you just... try to get used to it... maybe you can be happy, if you try.”
General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?
High, but embarrassed as all hell. He likes to maintain a very respectable and serious image, and people knowing that behind that neutral poker face is a brain running through nasty, nasty fantasies would not be very conductive to that image.
And that's what he does - working the bar gets very, very slow sometimes, and there's not much to do but sit around and let his mind wander. The more bored he gets, the more involved in these fantasies he becomes, and sometimes you might have to tap him on the shoulder to snap him out of it.
He feels guilty, really, for how he feels about you, and he knows that it's wrong and violating... But. But if you don't know, it won't hurt you, now will it? Nothing about the fact that he just thinks about bending you over the bar tables and fucking you raw is going to actually do anything bad. It's harmless.
He won't be touchy or perverse towards you by any means, and while that's nice, it causes something of a... Buildup. A lot of urges and needs have gone unmet, a lot of desperation to just feel you skin that has never been filled, and the thing about buildups is that when you reach a certain point they'll eventually burst, which is going to be what happens once you're in your new home.
How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?
He's moderate. He'd like you to want it, he's not highly sadistic and doesn't get off to your struggling/crying the way Childe or Kaeya would. But, in the end he's very set on what he wants, and if you're not open to it, he's not going to wait long. As aforementioned, he's got a lot of pent-up need that has gone unchecked, and while he normally strives for self control, at the point of kidnapping you, he's built up enough sexual frustration that he's not going to be very patient. Again, he's not going to be mean about it, he's more the type to just kiss your forehead and mutter a few reassuring things, even as you hiss at the pain of being impaled. That's another issue - he's convinced you might just be intimidated by the size, so he'll keep reassuring you that it's not going to last long, your body just needs time to adjust, even though you feel like you're being split in two.
He's content with knowing that, even if you mentally aren't wanting it, your bodily reactions show that you're clearly not repulsed or anything.
He's also another one to use that very thing against you, much like Albedo. He can feel you twitch and clamp down when you're close and he'll tell you that if you love him you'll cum, and if you don't love him, you won't. But no amount of trying to bring yourself down is enough to override the overwhelming stimulation.
He's also one to get rougher/more intense with time. At first, he's a bit afraid of hurting you, and he's not entirely familiar with how this all goes, and even can be a bit prudish and reserved. But the more he fucks you, the more and more he realizes he really likes having a sense of control and dominance over you, and just how nice it feels to come home when he's frustrated from a bad day and just fuck that energy out. Once he realizes you're not going to break or anything, you'll notice him gradually getting rougher and harder with time, until it becomes a norm.
What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?
Stomach bulging/size kink
He's not normally an outwardly prideful person. His pride is more of a silent aloof type of pride, rather than a smug showoff type. He's not one to emphasize his positive traits just to look good. But, fuck, if there isn't something very, very pleasing about being able to physically see his dick making a bulge on your stomach every time he fucks into you. He'll make sure you don't close your eyes, grab your hair and pull your head down so you're forced to watch it fill you more than you can take, over and over.
He doesn't want to hurt you, really, but of all the things to whimper about, you just had to squeal that it's too big, that it hits your cervix, that it's splitting you apart, and as much as he really wants to be a good guy, you're really making it difficult. Hearing that just breaks something primal in him and makes him want to fuck you harder.
It's one of the few things he can actually get smug about, watching you clutch your gut and whimper from bruising and soreness even long after, and as time goes on he might lose enough shame about it all to make a smug comment. He knows he should feel bad. But again, you make it hard to.
Breeding
It's a possession thing, really. There's something so utterly satisfying about just watching cum drip out of you, listening to you whimper whenever you feel it filling you up. It's kind of cute, when he tells you he'll cum inside you and you panic, you squeal and wriggle and unintentionally clench down hard enough to make that happen, you practically just milk the cum out of him when you do.
Forced feminization?/housewife kink/I dont know what to call it but hear me out dammit
He has in his brain this idea of a perfect little housewife and you're going to fit that model whether you want to or not. When he breaks into goes back to your old apartment to bring clothes for your new home he'll only pick the most frilly, feminine of all the things you owned, and if you don't have too many, he'll buy ones for you.
He just likes the idea of having a nice, sweet little wife to come back to, especially after being so stressed with whatever bullshit he's had to put up with that day. Really, any darling in captivity is kinda sorta filling that role, but he's got a very specific image in his mind of you being very... Domestic. Submissive. Frilly little clothes and aprons and cleaning things and making food, it's very cute and gives him a weird sense of dominance that will inevitably turn to arousal - something about the whole ownership and submission aspect of seeing you walk around in those clothes, doing your little chores makes him really want to grab you and bend you over the nearest surface and just - well, you get the idea.
And he's not gonna listen to your whining, either, even if you're a naturally tomboyish person. You could have been the roughest adventurer there was out there, all ragged and getting covered in scrapes and climbing mountains and fighting monsters, but that's in the past, now. Now, is time for you to give that lifestyle up, in favor of a better one, one that will make you happier... if you just let it.
How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?
He's yes and no, but mostly yes in theory. It fits into his little housewife fantasy and he feels it would be a good way to keep you attached to him. It would make you less likely to leave, it would give you something to do all day, you'd be happy. He's a bit worried about his own capabilities, though. He's not super empathetic and he's not very talkative. Ultimately, it would probably end up an accident that results from the aforementioned breeding kink.
What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?
Another one kind of like Razor, he's not gonna think it out too much, but holy fuck, if he's mad, just fucking feels like a punishment in and of itself. You'll realize just how much he's holding back on the regular when you see what it's like when he hold nothing back. It's bruising, it's brutal, and it's a little frightening to witness that kind of raw strength. He'd be one to pick you up into the air completely, holding your whole body up with his arms, forcing you to cling to him so as to not fall while he bounces you up and down on him. And really, once you account for the affect of gravity, so it's slamming into you at unprecedented force, and fuck, it's likely horribly painful, even if that pleasure is still there.
If he's exceptionally mad, he's another one willing to belt you, and while he'll certainly get off to it, it's something he'll only do when he genuinely has a reason to punish you.
What body parts of their darling do they like the most?
Thighs. He likes hooking them over his shoulders, grabbing the fleshy soft parts with his hands, running his hands up and down the sides. One day, one you're comfortable enough, he'd really like to just lay his head down on them like a pillow, they look so soft. And he loves looking at them too, loves things that show just enough of the curve of your hips to your legs and the soft skin underneath.
#fellow diluc simps rejoice#for i am here to feed thy needs#yandere x reader#yandere genshin impact#yandere diluc#tw: noncon#tw: dark content#tw: misogyny#sorta?#chr: diluc
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Will you accept me? [Loki Laufeyson x Reader]
Title: Will you accept me? Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Avenger!Female!Reader Word count: 4.1k Published: 19 May 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Notes: Firstly, this is my first ever Marvel fic, so go easy on me. Secondly, Infinity War and Endgame didn't happen in this house. I accept none of that. Summary: [x] In the past three years you’ve been trying refrain yourself from murdering the mischievous God, or so you have been telling yourself that. Your little game with Loki has been driving you crazy and if that wasn’t enough, you had to admit that a part of you enjoyed his company, regardless of how much you tried to hate him.
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Loki Laufeyson was nothing, but a mischievous little boy stuck in a man’s body. His mere presence lit a raging fire within you, wanting to remove that smug grin across his face. God of mischief they said countless times in the past three years, but you could only see a man who found enjoyment in dancing on your nerves.
The first time you met him, it became very clear to you that there would be no boring moments around the man, so when he left earth, you finally felt like you could breathe again as if all your frustration disappeared into thin air. You had nothing against Thor, but you wished he would just stay in one of his many realms and leave Earth forever. Of course, it had nothing to do with him per se, as far as you were concerned Thor could have stayed on Earth and it wouldn’t have bothered you. But Loki was brought along like an unwanted package, making your life miserable as though you were his little toy. So, each time Thor returned to Earth, you didn’t feel like welcoming the God of Thunder because his lap dog was attached to his hips.
As to why Tony Stark decided to give him a place to sleep in the compound, you didn’t understand, after all Loki had tried to wipe out your planet. Tony was one of those who hated Loki the most, but somewhere along the line, as though he had gone mad, he decided to give him a second chance. So, for the past 3 years you have been trying to refrain yourself from carving Loki’s eyes out, from trying to stab him in his sleep when he stayed longer than he should have. It took you a great deal of effort not to murder him in his sleep.
It doesn’t mean you haven’t tried. Oh, you did indeed. Although it took you two years to get to a point where you couldn’t handle him anymore.
One night, feeling brave or reckless, whichever is a more reasonable statement, you snuck into his room, rage building up inside you, wanting to end his miserable life. Oh, but you were naive. As you swung your dagger, stabbing it straight into his chest, it went straight through his bedding set, the astral projection of his body disappearing.
“My sly little vixen, did you really think I would make myself so vulnerable?” He asked as you looked over your shoulder, his dark form seated in the corner of his room. A proud smirk was plastered across his face, his smug smile lit by the lights towering over the large building on the outside, carefully finding their way through the blinds. “But regardless of your intent on taking my life, I’m rather pleased with your bravery,” he chuckled as he stood up and walked over to you, earning a loud groan from you as you held your dagger to his chest, this time feeling his flesh under the edge of the blade.
“I could kill you now,” you hissed through gritted teeth.
He leaned closer, his mouth right beside your ear, his cold lips brushing against your earlobe. “I dare you to,” he whispered into your ear, his hushed voice sending electricity through your spine, making your breath hitch. “I’m waiting, my little vixen,” he smirked. Although you couldn’t see it, you didn’t need to, you could read his tone, his body language, the little games he was playing. He found enjoyment in riling you up and you fell victim to him. He leaned back to be able to look in your eyes, his signature smile still plastered across his face. “You see, I understand that rage within you, feeling exhausted from our little games, but that’s only the surface. If you dig just a little deeper, you will find that even if it’s only a tiny part of your fragile mortal body, but it craves that attention, it enjoys our games. You can deny, oh you have been doing that for the past two years, but a part of you, a part that’s honest and dares to accept the truth knows that I’m right.”
A part of you wanted to argue and push the dagger further into his chest, wishing to watch his gaze become glassy, his soul moving onto Hel or Valhalla, though the latter seemed unlikely. But even against all his manipulation and tactical little games, always steps ahead of you, it was clear even to you that he was right. A part of you, even if it was hard to accept, found your shared games somewhat amusing. But you couldn’t say it out loud, you couldn’t agree with him. It would have broken the spell, the core of your entertainment. It was fun only because you never accepted to enjoy it. If you ever voiced the truth, it would have ended it all.
“You wish,” you hissed through gritted teeth as you dropped your arm beside your body. “I will have many other chances and when you expect it the least, that’s when I will be giving you a chance to go back to wherever the hell you came from,” your lips formed a thin line, your gaze holding determination. Those were the words you said aloud, but nothing like the ones you thought of. “Watch your back, Loki,” you whispered into his ear, before you headed towards the door, ready to scold yourself for the night in hopes of regaining your sanity.
“Good night, darling,” he chuckled silently as you stepped out of his room, shutting the door behind you with a loud thud. You couldn’t care less about who could have heard it, as fun as your little games were, they were also playing with your mind, leaving you flustered and frustrated. Loki affected you in many ways from your body to your mind, physically and mentally. You hated it, but at the same time, a part of you enjoyed it.
You tried to shake off the memory, but some of your encounters often appeared in your mind at the most unwanted times, as though a part of you missed him already. It’s only been months since he has left with Thor again, but since then life seemed somewhat boring. Although it was refreshing to focus solely on your duties as an Avenger and work hard for your people, but at times it felt as though there was a lack of something in you, a tiny part of emptiness.
Leaning back against the sofa, you continued to clean your guns. It was a small task that you could have entrusted F.R.I.D.A.Y. with, but this little chore brought you a sense of familiarity, a calming sensation in the midst of your storming thoughts.
“My dearest, why do you look so upset?” You heard his voice, but you didn’t look up, knowing it wasn’t reality. Another little game that your mind started to play with you, making you feel as though you were going insane. “Have I made you mad?” He chuckled playfully. You lifted your head, eyes growing wide as realisation hit you. He was indeed there. He was standing right beside Thor, wearing a smug grin, your presence seemingly bringing enjoyment to him. A part of you wanted to smile, mirror his expression, but instead you chose to play his game and rolled your eyes.
“Yes, you have. The day you decided to appear on this goddamn planet,” you groaned, concentrating back on your gun, cleaning it with a dirty cloth. Those words that left your lips weren’t the ones you wished to say. But you were afraid, terrified of being honest. You knew as soon as you admitted enjoying his company, he would stomp all over you as though you were a mere bug on the ground. A useless piece of life that he had no gain in caring for. So, you bit your tongue and played along.
“Now, now, my dear, that’s not a nice way to welcome a guest,” he smirked, raising a brow quizzically, finding your tone amusing.
“You are no guest to me,” you huffed as you placed your gun back in one piece. “You are nothing but an itch on my back, a fly circling around me, an annoying presence that I can’t seem to get rid of,” you lifted your head, meeting his emerald-green irises, their colour even brighter than you remembered. His gaze felt as though it was burning you up from the inside, your unrhythmic breathing drying your lips, your heart taking on a dangerous pace.
“Why, thank you,” his smile didn’t falter if anything it grew. “I must be doing something right if you can’t get rid of me,” he chuckled with a playful glint in his eyes. “Tell me, do you think of me often? Do you find yourself remembering all those memories we had the pleasure of spending time together?” He leaned closer, placing his hand on the small of your back, his touch making you shiver, his cold lips brushing against your ear, just like on that particular night you could never forget. “Do you think of me before you go to bed, maybe whilst you are in the shower?” He leaned back with a smug grin still painted across his face. “Or perhaps as soon as you wake up, your first thoughts are occupied by your memories of me? If I’m that hard to get rid of, I’m terribly proud of myself,” he chuckled as he let go of you and stood up. “Well, unfortunately I have to leave, but as always it’s been a pleasure meeting you,” he watched you with an intense gaze as he licked across his bottom lip, before he turned away and joined his brother.
As soon as he was out the door, you had sunk deep into the soft couch, planning a way to clear your head, because you weren’t sure how long you could play Loki’s games before you were declared completely insane. A small part of you just wanted to be honest and tell him how you really felt that indeed you enjoyed his company, that there were more to your feelings than simple entertainment, but a larger part of you knew if that ever happened, Loki would be long gone before a surprised gasp could even escape your lips.
To avert your thoughts, you decided to head to the training room and beat some sense into yourself. Trying to get rid of your frustration meant your body needed to tire out, so for hours you kept hitting and kicking the punching bags, imagining one particular person in its place. You hated him, you despised him, or so you tried to tell yourself, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Your feelings were indeed strong, but not of hatred, rather some sort of an attraction that you couldn’t really explain because you convinced yourself that hating him would be the logical decision, regardless of your feelings not matching your thoughts.
Time flew by quickly and before you knew it, the sun had gone down, and darkness ruled over the sky. You headed back to your room, taking a hot shower to clear your mind before you decided to grab a bottle of wine from Tony’s collection and drown yourself in your toxic thoughts. There was no escape, you might as well just give in, at least that’s how you thought.
You leaned against the kitchen counter as you opened the bottle of wine. Ignoring formalities, you didn’t take out a glass to pour yourself from the liquid, you placed it straight to your lips and chugged as much as you could, hoping it would silence your thoughts.
“Darling, you seem to be troubled,” you heard his voice, a sharp exhale leaving your lungs as you turned in his direction. He was leaning against the doorframe, wearing a small smile that you haven’t seen much of. It was usually smug or playful, but in that moment, the expression across his face just seemed soft.
“I wasn’t until you arrived,” you rolled your eyes, taking another long sip of your alcohol, trying to numb your mind.
“Shall I help you relax?” His face changed into his usually smug grin as though he was planning something.
“I think I can manage. As a mischievous God you would just cause more trouble than you could possibly help,” you huffed, knowing he always had a plan a, b, c, the whole alphabet and beyond.
“I’m not a mischievous God, I’m the God of Mischief,” he corrected you with a momentary surprise before he regained his composure.
“Same difference,” you shrugged nonchalantly, earning a silent chuckle from the man.
“If that makes you feel any better, call me whatever you want,” he stepped closer to you, stopping right in front of you as you took another sip of your drink. You watched his green eyes staring at you shamelessly, studying your face as though he was trying to read you.
“Can you stop staring?” You asked with a questioningly raised brow, but it only earned a silent chuckle from the man.
“No, I don’t wish to,” he replied as he stepped closer and with a swift movement, he turned you around. Your head shot back around over your shoulder as you met his playful gaze. “I mean no harm,” he meant to relax you, but you didn’t trust him, nor did you trust yourself in his presence. His cold fingers caused goosebumps on your neck, making you slightly shiver as he brushed your hair to one side and placed his palms on your shoulders, slowly massaging the tense muscles. You gasped at the feeling, the idea of a god massaging you felt unearthly.
“What are you doing?” You asked cautiously, although the feeling of his fingers on your skin made you feel weak in your knees, his breath fanning your skin making your heartbeat speed up. A part of you just wanted to lean into his touch and enjoy the moment.
“I’m helping you relax,” he whispered in your ear as you realised you were completely devoured by his presence. You couldn’t even recall when he leaned so close to you, you could only focus on his cold touch burning your skin.
“Why would you do that?” You questioned his intentions, a silent gasp leaving your lips as he found a tender point.
“Do I always have to have an ulterior motive?” He asked, but you could hear the proud smile in his tone. You turned back around, a deadpan look across your face, his touch leaving your skin.
“Do you really want me to answer that?” You asked, squinting suspiciously.
“Fine, I’m often motivated by certain ideas, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be genuinely helpful,” he tried to convince you, but you shook your head.
“Loki, what do you want?” you tried to just finish the conversation to drown yourself in your bottle of wine.
“How long has it been?” He asked, earning a confused frown from you.
“What are you talking about?” You tried to take a step back, but the kitchen counter stopped your movements.
“How long have you been pretending to hate me when in fact you know it couldn’t be farther from the truth?” His face fell serious, his previously playful expression long gone.
“I haven’t been pretending. It’s not my fault that you think it’s a game. I hate you and I think I made myself very clear from the first time we met,” you attempted to convince him, but his smile returned even wider than before.
“Still adamant I see,” he scoffed as he stepped closer, his arms caging you against the furniture behind you, his face getting closer to yours, only leaving just enough space for you to be able to breath. “So, you mean to tell me that my presence doesn’t affect you in any other way, it only brings you hatred?” He asked as his gaze wandered down to your lips, watching them intensely as though he was an animal wanting to catch his prey. Your breath hitched as his arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you against his chest, a silent gasp leaving your lips as you shivered in his cold touch, still your skin burned feverishly.
“That— that’s right,” you stumbled through your words, your own confidence leaving you vulnerable.
“For once, be honest with me, dear and accept that you enjoy my company,” he whispered against your lips, your mind feeling dizzy, incapable of forming a simple, coherent sentence.
“I— That’s not— I hate you,” you finally composed yourself and pushed him away from yourself.
“Why can’t you just accept it?” He asked, this time more serious than before. “Why is it so hard for you to be honest with yourself?”
“Says you, who can’t be trusted even when you ask a question? Oh, please, Loki, you should know better,” you huffed as you folded your arms in front of your chest. “You say I should accept that I like being around you, that I don’t hate you as much as I say so. But why would I do that?” You asked as you walked up to him this time, standing in front of him sternly. “Let’s say, hypothetically of course, that indeed I don’t hate you per se and a part of me might enjoy being around you from time to time. If that was true, why would it be beneficial for me to accept it? I know you Loki and if I was to agree and say you were right, you would walk all over me and disappear faster than I could take a breath,” you huffed as you shook your head.
“Well, my little vixen, hypothetically speaking,” he started in a humorous tone, “if you stopped acting like you have no feelings for me and finally accepted that your hatred might not even be hatred but something more, we could actually break down this wall between us that you so carefully built and we could enjoy being in each other’s company,” he explained as though it was the most natural thing.
“Loki, you can’t possibly believe your own words,” you scoffed, earning a surprised expression from the man, your resistance catching him off guard.
“And why is that?” He asked curiously.
“The only reason you enjoy playing around with me is because I behave the way I do. In reality, nothing is black and white and so if I was to hypothetically enjoy your company, that means there would be disagreements, there would be fights, there would be emotions and Loki, let’s be honest, you find it even harder to trust people than I do and as soon as things would turn serious, you’d run,” you explained your worries. Even though the conversation was supposed to be theoretical, both of you spoke the truth, but the lack of trust hung high in the air.
“If that was my intention, I would have run a long time ago. I had the option to do so many times before, but I’m still here, am I not?” He asked as he brushed a piece of hair from your face behind your ears, his touch sending electricity through your body.
“I just feel like I can’t trust you,” you shook your head, letting your face fall forward, massaging the bridge of your nose, before you lifted your gaze again “I feel like if hypothetically speaking of course, I accept that there’s more to it than simple hatred, it will end in my feelings stomped on and my heart crushed into piece and I’m not naive enough to let that happen,” you tried to reason with him, but in reality you were trying to convince yourself why not to put your trust in him.
“I have to admit, I would have done so, years ago that is, but the one who I am now wants nothing more than to claim you mine,” he spoke in an endearing tone, his voice serious, but somewhat caring, unlike his usually cocky personality. Your eyes widened at the confession, his words ones you never thought you would ever hear from someone like him. “If it was someone else, I wouldn’t care what happens to them, I’m not a saint after all, but with you it’s different. You are my sly little vixen, my other half and nothing and no one can change that, only you if you wish to of course,” his voice was barely a whisper as he spoke, his words making you feel uncertain about what to do. Your mind and your heart battled against each other, confusing you further. “Will you accept me finally?” He asked with an expectant expression.
“I have been trying to stop myself from murdering you for the past three years, it’s not as simple,” you tried to argue, but the words leaving your lips were more to convince yourself.
“Well, that is very romantic,” he replied with a low chuckle as you mirrored his expression. “That’s a good start,” he pointed out the smile across your face. “I’m not saying it will be easy, nor do I see it will be perfect, but isn’t it worth a try?” As much as you wanted to argue, he was right. If you didn’t accept your feelings, it would forever be a ‘what if’ stuck in your head and deep down you knew you wanted to see where you two could go from there.
You stepped closer to him, placing your hands on his chest to balance yourself, or so that was the plan, but as soon as you touched him, your hands went through his body, his astral body disappearing. “Loki!” You raised your voice in a warning tone, your deadly gaze looking for the man, his silent chuckle coming from behind you. You turned around in a swift motion, hitting him across the chest with gritted teeth both out of frustration and testing if it was his real self this time.
“I’m so sorry, love, I wasn’t sure how you would react, you can be rather unpredictable at times, so I had to have a backup plan,” he tried to explain himself, piling up excuses upon excuses. “But now that we are on the same page, we could get back to what you were trying to do. Did you want to kiss me? It looked like you were about to kiss me. Shall we try again?” He smirked proudly as he stepped closer and wrapped his strong arms around you. You tried to resist, attempting to push him away from your body, but his strength was unearthly, you didn’t stand much of a chance.
“Not happening. That was your one and only time to see a weaker side of mine. I don’t even believe what you ask anymore. I hate you, Loki!” You groaned, trying to get out of his hold.
“No, you don’t,” he replied with a smug grin across his face, dipping his head down to your level, but he didn’t move any closer. Your breath stuck in your lungs, your gaze fixed on his lips, however you tried to battle against your heart, your reasonable thoughts flew out the window as soon as Loki closed the gap between the two of you. His cold lips touched yours, sending a shiver across your spine, thousands of butterflies awakening in your stomach. Could you have resisted? Yes, if you really wanted to. But deep down you were craving for him and when his lips met yours, you melted into his arms and bathed in the physical pleasure his arms around you provided, the feel of his touch on your skin burning, a long-awaited connection bonding the two of you. As you finally parted, you gazed up into his green eyes, a loving look painted across his face.
“I still hate you though,” you added with a mischievous smile, as he mirrored yours.
“You really should watch that tongue of yours,” he warned you as his gaze fell on your lips.
“Why don’t you watch it for me?” You asked with an inviting tone and without a second thought Loki captured your lips again. It was hard to believe that he was holding you in his arms, but you chose to trust him and even though you knew there would be difficulties with the God of Mischief, a proud man being your other half, but not for a second did you think about taking a step back. It just felt right.
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Love, Theoretically | Sebastian Stan x reader (Chapter 5)
(chapter 1) (chapter 2) (chapter 3) (chapter 4)
series summary: having lost your husband, sister, and best friend all to the same extramarital affair, you ran away to a secluded villa in the Hungarian countryside to write and get a little time away from the life you’d left behind. you were only looking for peace and perhaps some inspiration for your novel, but instead you found an unlikely connection with the immigrant repairman– even though the two of you don’t speak the same language.
word count: nearly 2.5k
warnings: vague description of a wet dream, some sensual implied stuff (??),
moodboard and inspiration credit to @evnscvll
In all your life, you’d never had a wet dream. Not even in high school when so many of your peers were coping with puberty and budding sexuality in similar ways— not even when you’d wanted to have one about David Kapoor, the cutest guy in senior year who didn’t even know you existed but that you were somehow convinced was going to fall madly in love with you one day.
It never did work out for you two, but you’d finally managed to have a wet dream. This one, though, was about Sebastian.
In your dream he had cornered you in the kitchen, kissing you deeply before tossing you onto the table and— well, the rest doesn’t bear repeating. It was all very ‘discount bin romance novel’ wasn’t it? The exotic, rugged farm boy roughly taking the formerly-prudish businesswoman in the middle of the house, too deep in the throes of passion to care if someone walking by saw them.
You didn’t find it all that sexy by the time you woke up; moreso just humorous. That’s preposterous, you thought to yourself, nobody’s ever gonna love me like that.
It was something your husband had said to you once. You couldn’t even remember what the context was anymore, but clearly it had had an impact on you to be repeating it internally now. Just last week, Mrs. Alberti had gotten on your case for speaking poorly of yourself. Clearly, the things you said about yourself to others were nothing against what you said about yourself to yourself.
Your papers had only taken a day to dry, but the ink was pretty severely smudged. Knowing your publisher wouldn’t accept them in a manuscript, you resolved to retyping the most damaged ones— a good mindless task to do while you pondered your next steps plot-wise. You’d seen Sebastian less for the past week, and it was no accident; you’d been avoiding him because you were trying to nip this in the bud before it got any worse. Your divorce isn’t final yet, you need to heal. This is fantasy, not reality. You barely know each other. Your divorce isn’t final. Your divorce. Isn’t. Final.
That was the mantra you found yourself repeating as you retyped the waterlogged sheets; so much for the plot-pondering plan, eh?
You heard someone coming up the stairs, and you knew it was him because the steps were coming too quickly to be Mrs. Alberti. “Come in,” you instructed before he’d even knocked.
“Bună ziua,” he greeted as he opened the door, leaning inside. “Am pregătit cina, ai vrea să mănânci?”
“Hm?” you asked as you turned around in your chair, adjusting your reading glasses. However, his question became more obvious through context when you saw he had oven mitts and an apron on, and was holding a wooden spoon. “Oh, um, I’ll be down for dinner in a minute. Soon.” You held up a few fingers, hoping he would successfully interpret them into minutes.
“Arăți bine în ochelarii aceia,” he motioned, pointing towards you.
“I’m sorry… what?” you asked, not sure at all what he could be talking about.
“Ochelari. Sunt drăguți,” he re-emphasized, but it was useless as you gave him another confused look. He sighed, straightening up a bit as he began a new method: “Îmi plac,” he said, pointing to himself and then giving a thumbs up, “ochelarii tăi,” he pointed to you, and then made circles with his fingers and brought them up to his eyes.
You laughed a little, but you were pretty sure you got what he meant. “You like my glasses?” you clarified, reaching up to wiggle them on your face a bit.
“Da,” he grinned. “Pari inteligent.”
“Thank you,” you nodded, and he nodded back as he shut the door and his footsteps faded back into the kitchen.
Once a few more pages had been redone, you gave your hair a quick combing before heading down for dinner with Sebastian. It smelled a little strange by the time you went downstairs, but when you swung open the door to the kitchen, you were instantly hit with a wave of acidic air, forcing you to wince and cough. Even that didn’t help much, and you forced your eyes shut as they stung.
“Jesus Christ,” you yelped, “the fuck are you cooking? Tear gas?!”
“Oțetul te irită?” he asked, not sounding as concerned as you would’ve hoped considering your obvious pain. It was like you could taste it in the air, and it wasn’t until you managed to open your burning eyes again that you realized what it was: vinegar, in a huge jug right next to the pot he was boiling it in.
“You’re boiling vinegar?” you realized incredulously. “God, Europeans are fucking weird.”
He just looked back at you with bewildered bemusement.
“In America,” you tried to explain, “we don’t eat vinegar. We clean our floors with it.” You pointed to the jug and made a motion meant to indicate scrubbing a surface, and he laughed a little.
“Americanii sunt prea sensibili,” he dismissed with a wave of his hand, turning back to the stove to stir his pot of disinfectant which he apparently planned to serve you as a meal. “Am avut ciorbă de oțet de când eram copil.”
You’d typically considered yourself an adventurous eater— even with vinegar-pickled things, like kim chi which you’d learned to acquire a taste for— but this one put you to the test. Considering the smell alone had singed your sinuses, you were nervous what would become of your innocent tastebuds. But after he served the soup (a dark orange color, so apparently it wasn’t just the boiled vinegar) into a bowl for you and another for himself, you found the taste of it oddly pleasant when you sipped it gently from your hesitant little spoon.
“Vezi, nu e așa de rău,” he smiled gently as he watched you fail to recoil in disgust from the flavor.
“Just like ma used to make, huh?” you chuckled as he ate the soup with incredible speed, even going as far as to lift the bowl to his lips and drink the last few sips that way.
Eating dinner in silence with him was unexpectedly comfortable. “You wanna know something funny?” you found yourself mumbling aloud. “I enjoy talking to you more than anyone I ever did back home, and you can’t even understand me.”
His smile softened as he stared back at you, apparently sensing the change in your tone as you spoke.
“See, right there, that’s it: you’re listening to me. You know it’s useless, you know you won’t be able to tell what I’m talking about, but you’re listening anyways. Over two billion English speakers on the planet and none of them have listened to me like you do.”
Then you heard yourself, and it was so heart-breaking that you had no choice but to laugh. It was just a chuckle at first, but then you couldn’t stop it, even when you realized how confused Sebastian would be. Everything is funnier when you know you shouldn’t laugh, and soon you could barely breathe as tears warmed your eyes from the force of it.
“I’m sorry,” you tried to spit out between your fits of laughter, but it was barely comprehensible anyways. Sebastian began to laugh with you, if hesitantly and with a hint of confusion.
“De ce râdem?” he asked gently.
“I’m sorry,” you repeated, calming down a bit, “I’m sorry I just… I was just imagining what my husband would say, if he knew I was here…” you trailed off as you laughed again, starting over. “If he knew I was here, falling for someone I’ve never even spoken with.” You shook your head, resting your face in your hands as you chuckled lightly. “Oh, he’d hate this. He’d tell me I was out of my mind.”
With a slow sigh, your laughter subsided as you wiped the wetness from your eyes.
“He’d be right, but… I don’t really care,” you decided. “He’s not here. If he wanted to find me, he would. And maybe it’s because he’d hate this that I’m having so much goddamn fun doing it.”
When you looked at Sebastian again, his face was serious, yet anything but stern. Suddenly, you weren’t thinking about your husband anymore. Of course you logically understood how odd this all was, how impossible it was for you to be slowly finding yourself in love with someone like him, but it felt right, and true, and real. It made no sense, and yet it made perfect sense in every way that mattered.
“I’ll help you clean,” you offered as you stood up, realizing you’d gotten lost in your train of thought and probably stared at him for a bit too long. He stood up with you, helping you gather the used dishes and letting you wash them in the sink while he put the remaining soup in the refrigerator as leftovers for another time. “I’ll cook for you tomorrow,” you promised, “something real bland, like the English cook.”
“Sper că nu intenționați să gătiți pentru mine cândva, nu suport mâncarea occidentală,” he mumbled as he continued to wipe down the countertop with a damp towel.
With the kitchen clean, you knew you should get back to writing your book, but you were compelled instead to read somebody else’s— so, as you slipped onto the couch with one of a few of your favorites that you’d brought with you, Sebastian summoned the same copy of Dracula you’d seen him reading a few times and took the loveseat. Not much else happened after that, save for you shivering from a draft and him tossing a throw blanket on you.
“Ce carte citești?” he asked you eventually, breaking the silence. When you looked up, he was pointing at your book. “Book?”
“Right,” you laughed, “I taught you that. My book, uh, it’s good.” You closed it, leaving your finger inside to mark your place as you showed him the front cover. “On the Road? Ever heard of it?”
He just cocked his head to the side.
“Jack Kerouac?” you continued. “It’s about going on a long journey in search of… freedom.”
“Acesta este cel despre zombi?” he asked.
“Sure,” you nodded, wishing more than ever that you could know what he was saying. He smiled and got back to his own reading. Indulging yourself for a moment, you watched his face as it fell into a neutral expression while he read, his eyes trailing along the page as he continued to read. You didn’t realize it, but when you returned to reading your own book, he got his chance to look at you.
A long day of writing meant you had more than earned an evening to relax by the fire; late summer became early fall, and early fall turned into the need for a fireplace so much faster than you’d anticipated. The days were temperate, sure, but as the sun began to sink lower, so did the warmth. You started your evening with a hot shower, though you didn’t let yourself get too greedy with the limited supply of hot water, knowing Sebastian relied on the same supply for his own baths. When you finished, you dressed yourself in a fluffy lavender robe, feeling especially pampered when you put on a little moisturizer before heading downstairs to cozy up with the fire. You were already getting chilly, the heat from the shower fading as your wet hair and bare feet cooled you quickly. Therefore, it was more of a scurry to the fireplace, which you hadn’t expected Sebastian to be tending or you wouldn’t have come down in a robe. He’d seen you in less (namely, his shirt and nothing else, which was horrifically embarrassing) but something about this felt more intimate, like all your defenses had been washed away in the shower, too. Didn’t help that he was shirtless, again. Wasn’t he cold in this weather?! Must be all that muscle keeping him warm.
“Bună seara,” he greeted.
“Good evening,” you returned. Stepping closer, you rubbed your hands together as you felt the hot air radiate towards you. “It’s nice,” you sighed contentedly.
He smiled back at you, moving the logs slightly with the iron poker. Sparks jumped and fell off as he shifted them, joining the ashes below— you’d always thought fire was so beautiful, even if it was dangerous, and you took in a long breath through your nose to smell the tinge of smokiness in the air.
“Te încălzești?” he asked quietly as he set the poker aside and stood beside you. You wrapped your arms around yourself, rubbing through the fabric of the robe to try to warm up a little faster. Seeing you shiver, he reached out and rubbed your arms for you, which made you tense up slightly before relaxing and breathing out. “Mai bine?”
You nodded a little, your gaze drifting slightly.
“Warm?” he asked, making your eyes jump back up to his. You swallowed dryly as he looked back at you.
“Warm,” you repeated, “yeah. Good job… when’d you learn that?”
He didn’t answer, watching your hands as they reached out for his arms, finally making delicate contact with his tanned skin before drifting up to his biceps, his shoulders, and finally his chest. He put his own hands on top of yours and held them there, looking back at you as your heart started to beat rapidly and with no signs of slowing down. “Warm,” he repeated, only slightly above a whisper.
“Oh yeah,” you agreed hoarsely, “very, very warm…”
He smiled a little; it wasn’t mischievous, it wasn’t conniving or predatory or malicious. It was subtle but gentle in a way you had absolutely no plan to save yourself from, no protection, no armor, no neutral territory. There was only heat, so strong that your toes weren’t cold anymore and you didn’t even remember that your hair was still damp. Not only did you let his heat consume you, but you didn’t even think to stop it, to swallow your desire down, to run away and say goodnight and hide in bed from the icky scary feelings. No, you looked right back at him and let those eyes pierce right through you, that cold blue changed entirely with the warm firelight reflecting in them.
“Do you want to come to my room?” you asked slowly. The words were useless, but a glance back to the stairs that led to your door and back at him asked the same question with much more efficacy.
He nodded, and you stepped backwards as he followed you: across the house, up the stairs, and to your room. You opened the door. He shut it behind you.
#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan rpf#sebastian stan fanfic#sebastian stan x you#sebastian stan x y/n
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Dark Side Of The Moon Ch. 1 - Dark! Loki x Reader
Chapter 1: Speak to Me/Breathe
Chapter Summary: The last thing you remember was being mortally wounded, now having woken up in a completely different reality. And you’d soon need to face the horrors of who would seek you out...
Warnings: Violence, Blood, Suicide Attempt, Graphic Descriptions of Death, Dark! Loki, Spoiler you kinda die but kinda don't
Words: approx. 3800
[Story Masterlist]
Masterlist to my other works right ->Here<-
Lyrics used from the Song: Kina ft. Snow - Get You The Moon
“Y/N, look out!”
The piercing sounds of gunfire nearby made your eardrums ring, yet Steve’s words got through to you nonetheless.
But you were determined to end this, here and now.
Tony was the first one at your side, catching you in his arms before you hit the floor. However, you could only do so much as whimper a silent apology to your friends, who now had to live with the consequences of your actions.
“Why did you do this?!” you heared Dr. Strange yell as he unsucessfully tried to close the deep cut in your gut. Too afraid of what you might see if you’d look at the wound, your glare was locked on the beautiful sky - yes, the sun was almost setting, and it was somehow calming to you that this would most likely the last thing you’d set eyes upon.
“There was no reason to be this reckless!” Steve followed close by, his scolding soon turning into desperate screams. “Fuck. FUCK!” If Captain America himself is cussing, then it’s as severe as you thought it to be.
Your wounds were lethal, that much was sure.
And of course they were right, as always: You didn’t need to play the martyr here, throwing yourself into danger to shield your comrades - well, you did anyway, and there was no going back now.
On the other hand, they were the ones taking a gravely depressed widow onto a dangerous mission. But you did not want your precious friends to blame themselves for that, for it was your own wish.
Dying in an honorable battle was what would send you to Valhalla, after all - where you could finally meet him again, hopefully.
The only one not having spoken a single word up until now was Thor, very well knowing what all this was about. It was no secret that you were sick and tired of how your life had turned out to be, ever since the Infinity War.
You felt empty. Incomplete. Desperate. Hallow.
The God of Thunder had turned his back to you, yet there was still agony radiating from that already broken man. Your almost-brother-in-law was the only one who could possibly understand your pain. Thor Odinson had lost everything: His homeland, most of his tribe, his family and best friend - and soon, you as well.
All this time, you wanted to be strong. For them, who had also lost so much!
But at some point things just got out of control.
“You can’t leave me alone, Lady Y/N! Not you too!” Thor finally whimpered as he fell onto his knees, softly squeezing your hand. “You’re the only thing I have left from him!
So this is what dying feels like.
The bloodloss caused your limps to go limp, and when the pain began to stop and got replaced by numbness, you knew it would soon be time. Your brain lost the remaining control over your body, and you found yourself encoated by pure nothingless.
Only able to listen by their screams, cries and kind words - at least you’d die surrounded by those marvellous people. It sure was a privilege knowing them.
You weren’t afraid - all in all, it had been a good life, after all.
There were no regrets.
“Shh” you hushed them, using your last bit of strenght so your lips formed somewhat of a most broken smile, forming words between gurling on your own blood.
“It’s alright, I-” you cut yourself off, trying to scream as a last, torturing pain shot through your whole system. “I-I-I’ll-- meet him again...you know?”
“I’m no-not strong enough, please...” Thor cried out like you had never seen him before, feeling a tide of guilt wash over you. “Loki wouldn’t have wanted you to go like this! He told me to protect you, so you could lead a long and happy life!”
Without him? Impossible!
“You gave me a shoulder when I needed it
You showed me love when I wasn’t feeling it
You helped me fight when I was giving in
And you made me laugh when I was losing it”
Yes, indeed: You had been to selfish to keep on living just for the sake of your friends, burdening them with yet another loss.
“I-I don’t wanna go...this was a mistake, I- please...”
How badly did you want to soothe them right now, telling them that everything would be alright and you’d meet them again, eventually?
It was too late now.
Your body gave up earlier than your soul, which had endured and kept on all this time, even in it’s shattered state.
And when Tony’s palm gently closed your eyes, making it easier for you to embrace the cold darkness, the last thing you heared before your senses gave up were startling you enough to almost bring you back to life:
“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
That voice was familiar, yet it didn’t belong to Loki. Dr. Strange, no- Stephen Strange, your friend and mentor of the mystic arts.
“I don’t have the heart to allow this to happen” he stated frantic, making you wonder if that was a dream of your hypoxic brain or if you were still able to hear them? People tend to say the sense of hearing dies last, after all. “She still has a pulse, even though weak. Hurry!”
Their voices were far in the back, words way too far out of your reach to understand. As if you were an outsider, only observing from a distance.
Your friends were fighting, or maybe discussing something. That much you could make up from their tone, but your mind was too exhausted to make sense of anything.
It felt as if you were already without a body, floating through the unknown like a feather in the wind - not knowing where fate would lead you to next.
Everything was numb - even your pain. It was soothing, somehow.
Because you had been a ghost way before, when you were alive even. An empty shell of a human, acting like they weren’t dead on the inside.
Coherent thoughts, memories, emotions...even the fractions of your own past you had both collected and surpressed. Right now, they were all restrained and pushed far in the back of your very core, where you were finally able to evaluate them without earthly bondings.
Was this heaven, hell - or maybe both or none or them?
____
"Be aware of the limits this tactic has. It’s a very drastic measurement that can most likely be used only once in your lifetime, and it is not guaranteed to work either.”
Stephen’s voice again. You recall that scene, it’s been long in the past...but why are you remembering it now?
Yes, this was familiar. All of you had been invited to the Sanctum Sanctorum, a fitting place to teach about this ancient knowledge.
You clearly remembered that Loki was absent in any of the Doctor’s lessons, feeling that a “puny human” was “unworthy” to teach him, and “it would be nothing new anyway, Y/N, I am a god and the way better wizard, I know it all already.”
What he was about to tell you back then was some kind of crazy emergency-plan: Dangerous, unpredictable and escpecially untested.
“I’ve only read about this tactic up until now” the mage pondered loudly as he picked at his goatee, earning some childish giggles by you and Tony. “So I cannot promise that it will function as planned. The Multiverse is dangerous and acts in unforseen ways.”
“Very reassuring” you had mocked at the time, not really biding the topic any importance or thought ever again.
But now...
The trick sounded way simpler than it actually was, being as complex as it is only natural for something like that, costing a huge prize at that:
Dr. Strange would send any of you who were on the brink of death through a portal, thus leading you into a random dimension of this endless Multiverse.
That dimension, in which your alternate self has most likely died, will gladly accept you as a “replacement”. Some kind of what Peter Parker called a “glitch” will occur, instantly healing all of your wounds - even fatal ones, so you could remain in the timeline that was missing you.
Yet the consequences of this maneuvre would be unspeakable.
_____
“That bastard...” you gnarled internally, finally realizing why you would remember this of all things after apparently having just taken your dying breath. “He didn’t just-”
Eventually, you realized having escaped death’s grip, slowly beginning to regain your senses - yet still refusing to open your eyes.
“I don’t want to leave this place. My friends -- will I never see them again? No. NO! Life is meaningless. Just let me be with him. Please! Loki...”
“’Cause you are, you are
The reason why I’m still hanging on
‘Cause you are, you are
The reason why my head is still above water
And if I could I’d get you the moon
And give it to you
And if death was coming for you
I’d give my life for you”
Another part of Strange’s lesson echoed in your head, revealing that you were now in fact up on your own.
“Not even I can tell just how much this timeline will differ from what you know. Of course I will search for you right away, but considering the countless possibilities, it might very well be that we’ll never meet again. But you’re alive, and hopefully safe. That’s all that counts.”
Grass tickled your palm as you twitched your fingers, testing the limits of your body, which had literally just tricked death. Suddenly, you felt a stinging pain, almost like lightning boring into your temportal. The origin of this pain remained unknown.
When you finally found the courage to sit up, your flesh still feeling as heavy as lead, you realized that Stephen was most likely wrong: He assumed that you’d find yourself in a place you had a deep connection with, yet that place was unrecognizable to you.
Then why were you here of all places?
Actually, this location was incredibly beautiful, managing to stop the aching in your heart, if only for the fraction of a second.
Your former lover would’ve loved this place.
“'Cause you are, you are
The reason why I’m still hanging on
'Cause you are, you are
The reason why my head is still above water
And if I could I’d get you the moon
And give it to you
And if death was coming for you
I’d give my life for you”
Even though not all of Dr. Strange’s speculations were correct, you decided to stick to his emergency plan: Find as much information about this “new” earth as possible, point out the differences to your initial one, and then contact the Dr. Strange of this dimension.
Two mages working on crossing each other’s path would at least higher the stakes to find your original timeline.
Well, no one could guarantee you that the Avenger’s existed on this timeline, and they could as well be evil in this one...what a weird and horrifying imagination.
Knowledge really was power - that was another thing Loki had taught you a long time ago, and it would prove valuable, especially in this situation.
As you wandered this surprisingly extensive garden and getting lost in admiring the beauty of it’s nature, you found yourself devoid of any weapons. That fact made you slightly uncomfortable, even though your current location seemed absent of any ememies, making a peaceful impression.
Seemingly there weren’t any evil schemes going on in this dimension.
It basically were only minor differences, at least that was your first impression. At least there were no changes in natural laws or something as big.
“I miss the days where magic and science didn’t mix up like this” you whispered, mainly to yourself as you examined the new, large scar on your abdomen - the only memory left of your “almost-suicide-mission”.
To be more precize: The only thing left from your former life, now leaving you able to start completely anew, wether you wanted it or not.
Sun had almost drowned behind the horizon, diving the sky in a deep orange. Your eyes were still adjusting, yet you could’ve sworn to see the silhouette of a person. It was far away, at the entrance on what appeared to be a palace belonging to this garden.
Apparently, you had invaded someone’s propery, and you could only pray that it was noone important - or worse, a owner who would defend their ground with violence.
You don’t think your earth had a place this...flashy. The castle was way bigger than any you knew on the other timeline. The first difference you had figured out, yet it was only a minor one.
Maybe the headache you were experiencing was from someone making you out as an intruder?
One thing was sure: You had been noticed, and you immediately were on high alert.
Where to run to or at least hide?
There was a maze made out of bushed parting you and the palace, and since there was no better option, you’d enter it. Talking to that person and convincing them of your goodwill would make it way easier to gain information.
“You may come out” you declared as you made your way, unable to evaluate the situation properly. “I mean no harm. I’m just lost.”
Was it dangerous to be here? Obviously, you were not allowed to be here anyway.
However, when you had finally found the escape to that maze, only several hundret meters away from the building, the person was already gone.
Had your mind just played a dirty trick on you again? Wouldn’t be the firt time it’d betray you like this...
No. You clearly felt someone watching you.
And as soon as your senses had sharpened to your usual self again, you instantly jumped back, gaining some distance to the Citauri that had just appeared behing you.
Shit! You weren’t ready to fight again just yet. Not like this.
And where one of those vile beasts were, many others would appear. You knew that much.
Had Thanos invaded this earth? Oh god, not again...not him. You were so damn tired of those fights, escapes and especially the pain that always inevitable followed after.
Just when it was about to swing it’s weapon at your head, you felt dizziness crawl up your nerves, making you collapse on the floor. Lucky for you, because only like that, the stike didn’t hit you.
Even though having been taught basic magic skills, that certain kind of spell you were unable to fight against - only true masters of the art were able to perform a sorcery that well.
The Chitauri had left your line of sight, yet the other figure from before reappeared in a pace so fast that your eyes couldn’t follow. They sweeped you off the floor just before your head would meet the hard pavement.
“And now you will answer to me, shapeshifter.”
Once again someone robbed you of the control of your life and body, leaving you without a free will.
How long had you been passed out now? You didn’t know and honestly didn’t care either - since you had nothing to lose anymore.
In the meantime, the owner of those lands had dismissed his guards, not wanting to be disturbed as he was left alone with you in the giant throne room.
The apparent ruler of that unclassified location was sitting on his throne, warily observing you from above. You were lying to his feet at the bare floor, every piece of clothing robbed from you and restrained by a pile of chains. He watched every twitch, all breaths you’d take or groans escaping your mouth until you would finally awake.
Oh, how you really were just like he remembered you, with every little detail he had adored.
At long last, you would finally open your lids again, blinking heavily as you took in your surroundings - but when your eyes met certain emerald ones, they immediately sprung wide open, the emptiness in your heart being filled with all kinds of emotions once again.
The man - it was him!
“'Cause you are, you are
Oh, you are
Oh, you are
You are'Cause you are, you are
The reason why I’m still hanging on
'Cause you are, you are
The reason why my head is still above water
And if I could I’d get you the moon
And give it to you”
“Loki!” you screamed from the bottom of your heart. Without a single coherent thought, your legs would carry on their own as your weakened body stumbled in their attempt to climb those stairs.
For both of you, that momend of reuinion had waited far too long.
The god was temptated to approach you, his trembling hands already reaching out to catch your fragile body should you fall - but suddenly, you felt his knuckles digging into your cheekbone.
“Stay away from me, you fake!” Loki yelled furiously as you hit the ground, rubbing your cheek as you tried to understand what just happened.
Yeah, that sure brought you back to reality again, after such a short high.
Right.
That isn’t your Earth - and not your Loki either.
You couldn’t even be sure this world’s Y/N and Loki had the same kind of relationship the two of you had back in your timeline! The only thing you knew was that he knew you from his past, but as it seemed not pleasantly.
Now that you looked closely, he even had less scars, almost looking untouched and pure - like a true, invincible god. Maybe life here had treat him well, unlike his counterpart from your timeline.
He was still wearing that excessive outfit with the golden horns, and much to both your amazement and fear, it seemed that he still possessed theTesseract.
Could it be...
Before you could connect the dots, the king would soon interrupt your string of thoughts. “Drop that disguise, scum!”
Loki kept on degrading you as he paced in front of his throne, brow sinking deeper and deeper. “Don’t think you can somehow appeal to those pathetic sentiments” he explained, “I’ve freed myself from them long ago. Just stop making a fool out of yourself, and maybe I’ll reward it with a quicker death.”
Yet when he saw your most innocent smile, even this Loki would stand frozen in place, deeply in shock.
How he yearned to see it, all those years - to tell you just how sorry he was for everthing he’s done.
No.
He had left all of this behind - to claim his birthright and rule.
“I-I’m deeply so-sorry...that is a mistake” you whimmered with a broken voice, wiping a tear of joy out of your face. “My feelings overwhelmed me, I guess. I’ve never thought to see you again, even if you’re not the same Loki I know.”
Still cowering on the floor, you looked up to him with compassionate eyes, as if he had not just beat you before. You did not dare to make any more, wanting for Loki to try and understand himself.
“A variant?” he gnarled, just like you did when he realized.
No force in the world had allowed him to access other parts of the Multiverse, no matter how desperately he tried - and now fate had literally dropped you in front of his door.
Loki balled his fists in anger, making you flinch as you anticipated yet another blow.
“Dear, I-”
“Shut up!” the God of Mischief shoutet, causing his magic to break free. The walls of the palace were shaking, most windows and furniture having been destroyed. “It’s no use, woman!”
That man was way more powerful than the “puny god” people called names back on Asgard - and his sheer might made you quiver.
Just what kind of monster had he become, and why?
“L-Loki, please...” you tried to appeal to the last bit of humanity he might possess, and your begging made his guts twist in agony. “You’re scaring me.”
“You better be scared!” he exclaimed, grabbing you by the chin and forcing you to look at him. “No matter what disgracefully weak “alter ego” of me you knew, I am built different. Stronger. Better. Everyone in the Nine Realms fears me, and I desire nothing else! Everything distracting me from fulfilling my destiny and reign over you dull creatures I got rid of. You’re nothing more than an insect I might as well crush right here and now!”
Choking on a sob, he tried to relish that last chance he got to admire you, smell you, touch what he cannot possess...no matter how many universes there may be.
A flood of tears cracked down your face at his words, yet you couldn’t be helped.
No matter what he would say - he looked just like him.
And that was enough for you to feel alive after such a long time of being a walking dead. There had to be a reason you landed right at his home, of all places in this universe. You had a connection, both of you felt it ever since you had been transported here.
"May I ask-” you disrupted yourself, awaiting some reaction. But the conqueror had seemed to have spoken what he thought important to say, not declining your question at all.
Whenever he seemed fit, he could disintegrate you - yet right now, this situation was way too intriguing.
“What happened to myself in this reality?”
Loki swallowed harshly, letting go off of you as he threw you down the stairs. He wouldn’t even bide you one look as he tried to surpress the turmoil of emotion still running through his veins, desperately keeping it from breaking free.
The outcome would always be the same: Suffering, for both of you.
“And if death was coming for you
I’d give my life for you.”
He only ever wanted it to stop hurting. To become unfeeling, since love had always been poisoning his mind, sometimes being gifted with it even though he knew he would never be worthy of anything else than disgust and hate.
And that contradiction caused him to throw away anything good that happened to him, through you. Let it be taken away from him just shortly after finally learning to remotely enjoy.
You deserved the truth, a reason to hate him even more than you probably already did.
Had you only come to his salvation earlier, then he might have been helped - yet now, he was beyond redemption. Broken. Sick. Dangerous.
And when the Chitauri dragged you away, his last words let your blood run cold:
“She died through my hands.”
_____
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Settling In: Family Dinner
Inspired by @i-cant-sing
If there was any word to describe the past week, you would choose quiet. A schedule was set for your time spent here and rarely it would deviate. Rei would wake you up to watch the sunrise with you and you’d get ready for the day with her. The outfit she chooses always sits on the bed waiting for you while she does your hair. Mornings are spent in either the sun room or the library, with Rei always watching. Though, she leaves to cook. She always left you to cook. If nobody else was home, that means you’d be left alone. Fuyumi would come by for dinner some nights and take your afternoons. Enji wasn’t home during the day, but joined you all for dinner every night before you could retire to your new room. Even if the schedule is slightly smothering, it’s easy to keep up with.
There were no chores or responsibilities for you to do, unlike your old homes. It was relaxing—too relaxing. There was no stress, so you created some. Tonight, instead of Rei, Enji, and maybe Fuyumi, the other two Todoroki children were coming over. You don't know what to expect, so you stress over it.
Fuyumi warned you that they weren’t as accepting as she was, that they weren’t as involved with the family as she was. You don’t want to make a terrible first impression. You don’t want your new siblings to hate you.
Fuyumi comes home earlier than her siblings, coming immediately home from work. Meetings, she says, that’s why she couldn’t have come sooner. You remember that she’s a school teacher. It’s easy to imagine what those meetings are about. Though, she doesn’t give you time to daydream about her, as she’s asking you questions.
“So Y/N, you’ve been here a week? Have you been enjoying your time here?” Fuyumi does your hair, extremely careful not to hurt you. She’s taken this responsibility from Rei for today. Rei’s been busy at the store and in the kitchen all day, leaving you with Fuyumi. You don’t mind that; she’s nice.
“It’s quiet.” You don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing, but it’s the truth.
Fuyumi takes it well, “That’s good. Mom picked out some good books for you, did she?”
The library in the Todoroki estate may be massive, but most of those books Rei says are too mature for you. She’s regulated you to books below your reading level. They’re for children younger than you. But she doesn’t like to watch television and the laptop they’ve provided has only been gathering dust.
“If I’m honest, they’re a little boring.”
Fuyumi chuckles, “She’s a little out of touch from reality at times. I’ll grab you some books you’ll probably like better. I used to do a lot of reading when I was your age.”
“What’d you read?”
“Romance, mostly.” Fuyumi admits, “occasionally fantasy. I wasn’t trying to read anything too dark and neither should you.”
Too dark. Too mature. You wonder where that threshold is for them. You suspect it’s a lot higher than most people’s standards. You don’t dwell on this thought too much longer. Finding faults in your caretaker’s lifestyle isn’t the best way to stay in their good graces.
“How was school this past year?” She rests both hands on your shoulders. She’s done with your hair, but she isn't letting you go. You could probably move her to get out, but there’s no need. Fuyumi is nice and interested in what you have to say. Why would you leave her?
“Alright.” You reply. Even if it isn’t the truth, you wouldn’t speak it, “Don’t know where I’m heading now, though. We’re too far from my old school.”
“Father mentioned Somei and Mom talked about homeschooling.” Fuyumi replies, “We’ll have to see which one concedes first.”
You can’t imagine Rei fighting Enji on anything, especially something as trivial as where to take you to school. Though, you’d prefer if she concedes. Homeschooling seems like a nightmare.
“Oh, alright.” You respond. There’s nothing else to say on the matter and you hope Fuyumi lets up soon because you don’t know what to talk about anymore. Almost like a savior, a knock is placed on your door. It isn’t as strong as Enji’s—Fuyumi and Rei don’t knock at all—so, you assume it’s one of the brothers.
Fuyumi calls out to the person on the other side for you, “Hold on!” She finally lets up to open the door. You fiddle with the edge of your dress. The tulle is a bit itchy, but the smooth, holographic hearts covering the entire dress provide a nice change of texture.
You look up to see a tall, white haired guy. He’s broad, built like Enji as opposed to Rei. Though, the rest of his features seem to come from her. He stands in the doorway looking at you, then back at Fuyumi—who’s back to holding you on your shoulders again, causing you to continue to sit still in the vanity’s stool.
He takes another look at you and your fingers fiddle with the dress more. He’s unnerving and hasn’t said a thing he walked in. You start to speak, but he looks up at Fuyumi and asks, “What kind of quirk bullshit has justified this?”
That’s not what you expected.
You think to object, no quirk stuff has happened here—at least, that you know of. Though, Fuyumi immediately comes to your defense, “Natsuo! You can’t just ask something like that! Have some respect.”
“Do you really expect there isn’t an ulterior motive behind this.” Natsuo replies, “You know how he is with quirks.”
“He’s gotten better!”
“Prove it.”
“Uhhh, Natsuo, sir.” You break up the siblings' argument, “No quirk stuff has happened, really.”
He grabs a hold of your arm, looking at it thoroughly before heading to the next one. You don’t know what he’s looking for. Bruises? Burns? Scars? You have none of them from your time here.
You wouldn’t have anything quirk related anyways—you’re quirkless.
“Is this the lie he’s told you to say?” Natsuo asks, “You aren’t going to be able to lie. I see through his bullshit.”
“Natsuo!”
You want this conversation to end. Natsuo’s and Fuyumi’s hands are both icy cold and you don’t like the attention. Plus their argument is painful to listen too, especially considering it’s about you.
“Natsuo, sir…” You say, “there’s no quirk… anything. Really! I don’t have a... quirk.”
He lets go of your arm and it drops to your side. He stands up again. Fuyumi lets your shoulders go, moving to your side.
“Hey, chin up kiddo!” Fuyumi replies, smiling her everbright smile, “there’s nothing wrong with that!”
You didn’t even realize you were staring at the ground, but your feet soon come into view through watery eyes. Fuyumi’s fingers wipe away the tear that slips through.
“Hey, sorry kid.” Natsuo’s hands are in the pocket of his jeans and his shoulders are raised, “I have the habit of assuming the worst.”
“It’s fine.” You reply, laughing through the soft tears, “I should be over it by now, anyways.”
“Let’s head out of here.” Fuyumi takes your hand, leading you out of your room, “Father should be bringing Sho home soon. He’ll just love you, he won't be able not to."
Despite the ominous nature of Fuyumi’s statement, you let yourself willingly be led to the living room. Besides, where else would you go, anyways?
___
Gratefully, the three of you leave your room. The room was getting tense between the sibling pair. You don’t want to be the reason they fight, do you? They always look so close in the photos on the wall—even if nobody looks happy in those photos.
Natsuo leads the way. He walks with his shoulders back and his head held high. He has confidence, something you’ve started to lack now that you’re around all these powerful quirk users. You feel the cool air radiating from in between him and Fuyumi. She walks right behind you. If you stopped, she’d crash right into her.
But you don’t stop. You walk down the hallway and head towards the living room. There, two figures step in through the door. The first is the boy with half red hair, half white hair. The photos on the wall show him to be significantly younger and without the bright red scar covering one eye. He wears U.A.’s school uniform. One of the old children in your last home went there as well. The other person is Enji. He’s in his hero uniform still—flames and all.
Before anyone can say anything, Natsuo speaks up, “Father’s not using her. I already asked. She’s quirkless.”
He doesn’t say it in a negative way, but him bringing it up at all stings. You’re inadequate compared to them. They all scream of powerful quirks, but you don’t even have a quirk to begin with.
And now, you’re getting the suspicion that quirks are what this family truly cares about. Which leaves you in a terrible position—quirkless, surrounded by powerhouses.
“Alright.” Shoto deadpans, then slips his shoes and coat off. A cool wind blows in from outside, but it’s no different than standing between the cold Todoroki children.
Enji asks his sons, “Do you really think so low of me?”
“Yes.” Natsuo and Shoto reply instantly.
Luckily, Rei comes to your rescue, guiding you to a seat at the kitchen table. Whilst they talked, she set everyone’s plates wordlessly. She cooked this meal for everyone and you feel a slight pang of guilt, knowing that six mouths is a lot to cook for. You had smaller homes than that, which sometimes saw it too tiring to cook for their size. And Rei cooked a lot—much more than she’s cooked for the other meals you’ve had here.
Your plate is filled. You can’t imagine that you’ll eat all of this, but you’ll eat as much as you can. You wouldn’t want to make Rei sad, now would you?
“Thank you Rei, for dinner.” You reply, before taking a bite. As you sigh in pleasure, Rei’s other children echo their thanks. The food is so good that you block out all sound in order to focus upon it.
“Y/N, are you there?” Fuyumi jokes from her seat beside you.
“Oh! Uh, yeah.” You exclaim, then ask, “Did you need something?”
“Father just asked how your day was.” Fuyumi replies.
You tell him, “It was good.” He sits at the head of the table, just like last time. You don’t sit next to him, Fuyumi does. You sit directly one seat to the left than the seat you’ve been sitting in. You don’t mind, especially because to the other side of you is the one brother you’ve barely heard speak: Shoto.
He looks at you—he’s watching you. You can see him do it out of the corner of your eye. It’s unnerving to say the least. But you put your head down and continue eating, making sure to pay attention. Luckily, they don’t ask you too many questions. Most of the attention is on Shoto and Natsuo. They’ve returned home—the family all together, Rei calls it. You don’t ask about the other boy in the photos. He’s obviously not a part of the family anymore.
“May I be excused?” You ask as soon as you're finished eating, not keen to just sit there and listen to their conversations.
Enji doesn’t hold you back this time, giving you a silent nod. You take your plate to the kitchen and then head to your room, making sure not to bother them anymore. You don’t want to be seen as a bother anymore than you already are, do you?
#platonic yandere#yandere mha#yandere bnha#reader insert#mha fanfic#bnha fanfic#yandere todoroki family#yandere todoroki clan
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A/N: This is set during episode 7.16. What if Matt actually called Gabby like he wanted to after the chaplain left? This is my first time writing Dawsey so please be kind. Hope you enjoy it!
“If you won’t talk to me, talk to someone. Anyone. I promise you, it will help.”
The chaplain’s words echoed in his head as he reached for his phone, only to quickly set it back down on the coffee table as he started to pace back and forth across the living room. There was only one person that Matt wanted to talk to right now, only one person who he knew would be able to help him quiet the racing thoughts that had taken over his mind.
He slowed his steps in front of the coffee table and picked up the phone again, pulling up Gabby’s contact page. His finger hovered over the screen, still unsure about whether or not he should just give in and call her. They hadn’t spoken in months, it wouldn’t be fair to seek her out now just because he needed her. He’d worked so hard to try and move on, he couldn’t just go back now.
He knew he shouldn’t, he knew he had to learn to live without her, but right now none of that seemed to matter. Right now, all he wanted, all he needed was to hear her voice. He quickly hit the call button before he could talk himself out of it.
He held his breath as he waited through one ring then another and one more before the line finally clicked open.
“Hello. Matt? Is everything okay?” her soft slightly groggy voice greeted him and Matt silently cursed himself for not checking the time first.
“Gabby, hi. I’m sorry, I uh…didn’t mean to call so late.”
“No, no it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Are you alright?” Her voice was much clearer now that she was fully alert and the initial shock was starting to wear off.
The last thing that she had expected was to get a call from Matt. It had been months since they last had any contact. Ever since their divorce had been finalized, it was like they’d just been cut out of each other's lives. She knew that was how divorces usually went, but it still hurt her soul to think that she and Matt would no longer be a part of each other's lives. Even though they had split up before, they had always had work and their friendship to connect them, but now even that seemed to be gone.
“Yeah I’m fine…um everything is alright. I just uh…I just wanted to…” he stammered nervously. Why was this so damn hard? Talking to Gabby used to be the easiest thing in the world and now he could barely get through a sentence without stumbling all over his words.
“Did something happen Matt?” she gently prompted him. It wasn’t like Matt to have so much trouble expressing himself, not with her anyway. Or at least he never used to, but maybe this unusual awkwardness was just another sad part of their new reality.
Matt took a deep breath and sat back down on the couch trying to gather his thoughts.
“We had a tough call last shift,” he started. “It, uh, was a suicide call. We were brought in to assist the police with a forcible entry. The door was barricaded, so they needed us to get them inside. When we were able to get the door open, they went in and the guy was already dead from a gunshot wound.” Matt sighed and took a second to compose himself.
“As we were leaving the house,” he continued. “I heard a noise, so I went back to check and this guy just came out of nowhere. It turns out it was the victim's brother. He had a gun and was just going on about how he made him do it and I was trying to get him to calm down and talk but he wasn’t exactly receptive. We, uh, scuffled a little and he, um, he took a shot at me.”
“What?” Gabby gasped as she immediately switched the call to FaceTime.
Matt winced a little as he quickly accepted the FaceTime call. He should have known she wouldn’t take that part well.
“I’m fine, Gabby. Really.” He said as soon as her face came up on the screen.
“Well, forgive me for needing to see for myself.” Gabby was relieved to see that Matt wasn’t calling her from a hospital bed, so she knew he likely wasn’t hurt. She truly believed in her heart that Matt wouldn’t have kept something like that from her, but she needed to actually see him to reassure herself that he was physically okay.
“And you might not be injured, but that doesn’t mean you’re fine,” she continued. She could see the pain in his eyes. He was obviously struggling with something.
He sighed and looked down. Even after all this time, after everything that had happened between them, she could still see right through him. He looked back up at her and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.
“The shot that missed me,” he started, his voice cracking a little as tears started to prick the corner of his eyes. “That was the second time he pulled the trigger. The first time, I was staring down the barrel and the gun jammed.”
Gabby gasped softly and her hand shot up to cover her mouth as she realized just how close to death Matt had come. But she couldn’t let herself fall apart right now, not when Matt needed her. She had to be strong for him. There would be plenty of time for a breakdown later. So she quickly regained her composure, and held his gaze as she waited for him to continue.
“That’s the only reason I’m alive right now. A one in a thousand chance…” he trailed off, still struggling to comprehend how that could have happened. “Why didn’t it go off the first time? How am I still here?” he sighed and shook his head, letting a few tears escape his eyes before roughly wiping them away.
Her heart broke for him. While this certainly wasn’t his first close call, it was obvious that it had shook him to the core. She hated seeing him in so much pain, hated that she couldn’t hold him, comfort him the way she had done so many times in the past.
“Matt, baby,” the term of endearment slipped past her lips before she could stop it. “You can’t think of it like that. The gun jammed because it wasn’t your time.”
“It can’t be that simple, Gabby,” he shot back with exasperation.
“It has to be that simple, Matt,” she replied emphatically. “Otherwise, you’re going to drive yourself crazy trying to find an explanation that just isn’t there. Believe me, I know. I’ve been asking myself the same kind of questions for over four years now.”
Shay’s death wasn’t something she spoke about often, but the truth was that she had never truly been able to shake the guilt that she felt over it. She’d moved on, accepted the fact that she had survived because it hadn’t been her time yet, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t still plagued by “what ifs”. What if she hadn’t told Shay to switch places with her? What if she’d been able to get to her sooner after the blast? What if she’d never decided to go to the Fire Academy to begin with? It was an albatross she wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially Matt. Matt was kind and caring and devoted to helping others any way he could. He survived because the world needed more people like him.
Matt sighed as he let Gabby’s words sink in. He knew she was right but he couldn’t help the unsettling feelings that had taken hold of him.
“Matt, look at me,” she continued, waiting until his eyes met hers. She could see him retreating into himself, and she needed to be sure he was really listening to her. They locked eyes through the screen and she continued gently, “I know it feels like there should be more to it, but the truth is, you survived because you weren’t meant to die that day. All you can do now is accept that it was a blessing, be grateful for it, and make the most of it. It’s the only way to keep moving forward.”
“Is that what you did? After Shay?” he asked carefully. He knew Gabby didn’t like talking about Shay’s death and he’d never pushed her before, but right now he felt like he really needed to know.
Gabby let out a shaky breath and thought about the best way to answer. Opening up about Shay’s death had always been hard for her, even with Matt. She loved Matt more than anything, but being vulnerable like that had always been a struggle for her. Ever since she was little, whether it was holding her own in a fight with Antonio or going toe to toe with the mean girls in school, Gabby always took pride in being able to take care of herself. She’d always felt that her fierce independence was one of her greatest attributes, but she’d come to realize, maybe a little too late, that it was also her achilles heel. She’d never quite figured out how to strike the balance between allowing herself to be vulnerable without feeling like she was losing herself.
“Not at first,” she confessed quietly. “But eventually, I just had to accept that I’d never be able to explain why I was still here and Shay wasn’t.” Her voice faltered a little as tears sprang to her eyes. She cleared her throat and pressed on. “The only thing that I could do, was make damn sure that I made my time here as meaningful as possible. It’s not always easy, you know. Some days are harder than others, but I figure if I can have a positive impact on the world, then that has to be reason enough. Every save I make, every person I manage to help in some way, is a reminder of that.”
He nodded slowly and gave her a small smile. “Thank you for sharing that. I know how hard it is for you to talk about this stuff.”
“Yeah, well I’m working on it,” she teased with a smirk to try and lighten the mood a bit. “I hope I was able to help a little.”
“You did. More than you know.” He could already feel his anxiety slowly starting to dissipate. There was just something about talking to Gabby that always helped. No matter what was bothering him, no matter what he was going through, she always found a way to make things better.
“Good. I’m glad,” she smiled softly.
“I mean it Gabby, thank you. Thank you for being here for me. It means a lot,” he said gratefully.
“I told you a long time ago, that would never change,” she reminded him. “I meant it. I’ll always be there for you, Matt.”
He gave her a shy smile and looked down a little. He remembered when she made him that promise. They hadn’t even been together yet. He’d thanked her for always being there for him and she just smiled and said “that’ll never change” as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It wasn’t some big declaration or grand gesture. It was just a fact, plain and simple. But that seemed like a lifetime ago now. Nothing between them was plain or simple anymore. It was messy and complicated, and he still couldn’t wrap his head around how they’d gotten here. How everything had fallen apart so quickly.
He looked up at her, really looked at her for the first time since the call had switched to video. She looked different, but still as breathtaking as ever. She’d cut her hair short, probably in deference to working in the hot Puerto Rican sun all day. It had that tousled freshly washed look and he could almost feel its silky softness under his fingers. He remembered how he used to spend hours running his fingers through her hair, gently lulling her to sleep as she curled up next to him on the couch after a long shift.
Her eyes glistened in the darkened room, and he let himself get lost in them, lost in the rich brown flecked with gold that always spoke volumes to him. He could see hesitation and a flicker of sadness in them now. But there was something else beyond that, something that was just out of reach. He could have sworn it was wistfulness or maybe longing, but he couldn’t quite tell. Whatever it was, it disappeared before he could fully grasp it.
He was staring at her, his piercing blue eyes looking straight through to her soul. Her heartbeat quickened under his intense gaze and all the feelings she’d worked so hard to bury came rushing back. She knew in her heart that she’d never love anyone the way she loved Matt, but life had pulled them in different directions and in the end, they’d both just let go. She’d finally convinced herself that it was probably for the best, but deep down she knew it wasn’t true. All it took was looking into Matt’s eyes to remind her of how much she still loved him. She bit her tongue a little to keep her from telling him that she missed him, that she wished things could be different, that they could work things out. But she knew it wouldn’t be fair to him, and she couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him anymore than she already had. So she quickly tucked all those feelings away, hoping her eyes wouldn’t give her away.
They stayed like that for several more moments, staring into each other's eyes through the screen. Neither knowing what to say next and neither wanting the call to end just yet.
“What the hell are we doing, Gabby?” Matt finally broke the spell.
“What? What are you talking about?” she asked slightly bewildered.
He knew he probably shouldn’t have said anything, should have just let sleeping dogs lie. But he was tired of lying to himself, tired of pretending that he’d moved on , and that’s exactly what he’d been doing: pretending. Because there’s no way that he could ever move on from Gabby, it just wasn’t possible. He knew in his heart that she felt the same way about him. He could see it in her eyes despite her best efforts to hide it.
“When I was staring down the barrel of that gun yesterday, I truly thought that I was about to die and all I could see was your face, all I could think of was how I would never get to see you again,” he revealed, knowing that was a big part of the reason why he’d been feeling so unsettled. “How did we just let it all fall apart?”
Gabby took a deep breath and fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. “You know it’s not that simple, Matt.”
She’d pictured this moment thousands of times in her mind. How she and Matt would somehow find their way back into each other’s lives again. How they could try to find a way past everything that had torn them apart. But she never dared to think that it would actually be possible, that they could ever go back to how things were before.
“Look, I know we have a lot of things to work through. I get that.” He conceded when he saw her hesitation. “But don’t we owe it to ourselves to at least try?”
“You really mean that? Even after everything that’s happened?” she asked, still not quite believing that this was actually happening, that it wasn’t all just a dream.
“It’s the only thing that makes sense, Gabby. That hasn’t changed either,” he smiled as he reminded her of what he told her all those years ago, when he vowed that he would never let her walk out of his life again. He’d failed to keep that promise, but he was more determined than ever to make up for that mistake.
“So what do you have in mind exactly?” she asked, still trying to process what this all meant. How were they even going to do this when they were thousands of miles apart?
“What if we start slow?” he suggested. “Like, maybe I could call you even when I’m not going through an existential crisis?”
“I’d like that,” she admitted with a smile. “And maybe I could call you, just because…”
“I’d really like that too,” he smiled back and felt a rush of relief wash over him. For the first time in months, he finally felt like everything would be okay. He saw her stifle a yawn and realized just how late it was. “It’s getting pretty late. I guess I should let you go and get some rest.”
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. I do have a pretty early start tomorrow,” she admitted.
“Well then, that settles it. Time for bed young lady, no arguments,” he playfully scolded her and was rewarded by the sweet sound of her laugh.
“Okay, okay,” she put a hand up in surrender. “I guess we should call it a night. But we’ll talk again soon right?” she asked hopefully.
“Definitely,” he assured her with absolute conviction. They were getting another chance and he wasn’t going to waste it. They would find their way back and come out stronger than ever, he was sure of it.
“Alright then, goodnight Matt.”
“Goodnight Gabby,” he replied softly. “Talk to you later,” he added as he got ready to end the call. It was something he’d taken to saying ever since she’d asked him to never say goodbye to her again.
“Talk to you later.” She returned his promise before reluctantly ending the call with a small wave and a sleepy smile.
Gabby sighed and set her phone back down on the nightstand, still reeling from everything that had just happened. Feelings of relief, gratitude and hope all hit her at once and unleashed the tears she’d been holding back until now. She gently wiped them away as she laid back against the pillows and settled in for what promised to be the most restful night’s sleep she’d had in months. She knew she and Matt had a long road ahead of them, but for the first time in a long time, she truly believed that they would be able to find a way to make it through.
“If you won’t talk to me, talk to someone. Anyone. I promise you, it will help.”
The chaplain’s words echoed in his head as he reached for his phone, only to quickly set it back down on the coffee table as he started to pace back and forth across the living room. There was only one person that Matt wanted to talk to right now, only one person who he knew would be able to help him quiet the racing thoughts that had taken over his mind.
He slowed his steps in front of the coffee table and picked up the phone again, pulling up Gabby’s contact page. His finger hovered over the screen, still unsure about whether or not he should just give in and call her. They hadn’t spoken in months, it wouldn’t be fair to seek her out now just because he needed her. He’d worked so hard to try and move on, he couldn’t just go back now.
He knew he shouldn’t, he knew he had to learn to live without her, but right now none of that seemed to matter. Right now, all he wanted, all he needed was to hear her voice. He quickly hit the call button before he could talk himself out of it.
He held his breath as he waited through one ring then another and one more before the line finally clicked open.
“Hello. Matt? Is everything okay?” her soft slightly groggy voice greeted him and Matt silently cursed himself for not checking the time first.
“Gabby, hi. I’m sorry, I uh…didn’t mean to call so late.”
“No, no it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Are you alright?” Her voice was much clearer now that she was fully alert and the initial shock was starting to wear off.
The last thing that she had expected was to get a call from Matt. It had been months since they last had any contact. Ever since their divorce had been finalized, it was like they’d just been cut out of each other's lives. She knew that was how divorces usually went, but it still hurt her soul to think that she and Matt would no longer be a part of each other's lives. Even though they had split up before, they had always had work and their friendship to connect them, but now even that seemed to be gone.
“Yeah I’m fine…um everything is alright. I just uh…I just wanted to…” he stammered nervously. Why was this so damn hard? Talking to Gabby used to be the easiest thing in the world and now he could barely get through a sentence without stumbling all over his words.
“Did something happen Matt?” she gently prompted him. It wasn’t like Matt to have so much trouble expressing himself, not with her anyway. Or at least he never used to, but maybe this unusual awkwardness was just another sad part of their new reality.
Matt took a deep breath and sat back down on the couch trying to gather his thoughts.
“We had a tough call last shift,” he started. “It, uh, was a suicide call. We were brought in to assist the police with a forcible entry. The door was barricaded, so they needed us to get them inside. When we were able to get the door open, they went in and the guy was already dead from a gunshot wound.” Matt sighed and took a second to compose himself.
“As we were leaving the house,” he continued. “I heard a noise, so I went back to check and this guy just came out of nowhere. It turns out it was the victim's brother. He had a gun and was just going on about how he made him do it and I was trying to get him to calm down and talk but he wasn’t exactly receptive. We, uh, scuffled a little and he, um, he took a shot at me.”
“What?” Gabby gasped as she immediately switched the call to FaceTime.
Matt winced a little as he quickly accepted the FaceTime call. He should have known she wouldn’t take that part well.
“I’m fine, Gabby. Really.” He said as soon as her face came up on the screen.
“Well, forgive me for needing to see for myself.” Gabby was relieved to see that Matt wasn’t calling her from a hospital bed, so she knew he likely wasn’t hurt. She truly believed in her heart that Matt wouldn’t have kept something like that from her, but she needed to actually see him to reassure herself that he was physically okay.
“And you might not be injured, but that doesn’t mean you’re fine,” she continued. She could see the pain in his eyes. He was obviously struggling with something.
He sighed and looked down. Even after all this time, after everything that had happened between them, she could still see right through him. He looked back up at her and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.
“The shot that missed me,” he started, his voice cracking a little as tears started to prick the corner of his eyes. “That was the second time he pulled the trigger. The first time, I was staring down the barrel and the gun jammed.”
Gabby gasped softly and her hand shot up to cover her mouth as she realized just how close to death Matt had come. But she couldn’t let herself fall apart right now, not when Matt needed her. She had to be strong for him. There would be plenty of time for a breakdown later. So she quickly regained her composure, and held his gaze as she waited for him to continue.
“That’s the only reason I’m alive right now. A one in a thousand chance…” he trailed off, still struggling to comprehend how that could have happened. “Why didn’t it go off the first time? How am I still here?” he sighed and shook his head, letting a few tears escape his eyes before roughly wiping them away.
Her heart broke for him. While this certainly wasn’t his first close call, it was obvious that it had shook him to the core. She hated seeing him in so much pain, hated that she couldn’t hold him, comfort him the way she had done so many times in the past.
“Matt, baby,” the term of endearment slipped past her lips before she could stop it. “You can’t think of it like that. The gun jammed because it wasn’t your time.”
“It can’t be that simple, Gabby,” he shot back with exasperation.
“It has to be that simple, Matt,” she replied emphatically. “Otherwise, you’re going to drive yourself crazy trying to find an explanation that just isn’t there. Believe me, I know. I’ve been asking myself the same kind of questions for over four years now.”
Shay’s death wasn’t something she spoke about often, but the truth was that she had never truly been able to shake the guilt that she felt over it. She’d moved on, accepted the fact that she had survived because it hadn’t been her time yet, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t still plagued by “what ifs”. What if she hadn’t told Shay to switch places with her? What if she’d been able to get to her sooner after the blast? What if she’d never decided to go to the Fire Academy to begin with? It was an albatross she wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially Matt. Matt was kind and caring and devoted to helping others any way he could. He survived because the world needed more people like him.
Matt sighed as he let Gabby’s words sink in. He knew she was right but he couldn’t help the unsettling feelings that had taken hold of him.
“Matt, look at me,” she continued, waiting until his eyes met hers. She could see him retreating into himself, and she needed to be sure he was really listening to her. They locked eyes through the screen and she continued gently, “I know it feels like there should be more to it, but the truth is, you survived because you weren’t meant to die that day. All you can do now is accept that it was a blessing, be grateful for it, and make the most of it. It’s the only way to keep moving forward.”
“Is that what you did? After Shay?” he asked carefully. He knew Gabby didn’t like talking about Shay’s death and he’d never pushed her before, but right now he felt like he really needed to know.
Gabby let out a shaky breath and thought about the best way to answer. Opening up about Shay’s death had always been hard for her, even with Matt. She loved Matt more than anything, but being vulnerable like that had always been a struggle for her. Ever since she was little, whether it was holding her own in a fight with Antonio or going toe to toe with the mean girls in school, Gabby always took pride in being able to take care of herself. She’d always felt that her fierce independence was one of her greatest attributes, but she’d come to realize, maybe a little too late, that it was also her achilles heel. She’d never quite figured out how to strike the balance between allowing herself to be vulnerable without feeling like she was losing herself.
“Not at first,” she confessed quietly. “But eventually, I just had to accept that I’d never be able to explain why I was still here and Shay wasn’t.” Her voice faltered a little as tears sprang to her eyes. She cleared her throat and pressed on. “The only thing that I could do, was make damn sure that I made my time here as meaningful as possible. It’s not always easy, you know. Some days are harder than others, but I figure if I can have a positive impact on the world, then that has to be reason enough. Every save I make, every person I manage to help in some way, is a reminder of that.”
He nodded slowly and gave her a small smile. “Thank you for sharing that. I know how hard it is for you to talk about this stuff.”
“Yeah, well I’m working on it,” she teased with a smirk to try and lighten the mood a bit. “I hope I was able to help a little.”
“You did. More than you know.” He could already feel his anxiety slowly starting to dissipate. There was just something about talking to Gabby that always helped. No matter what was bothering him, no matter what he was going through, she always found a way to make things better.
“Good. I’m glad,” she smiled softly.
“I mean it Gabby, thank you. Thank you for being here for me. It means a lot,” he said gratefully.
“I told you a long time ago, that would never change,” she reminded him. “I meant it. I’ll always be there for you, Matt.”
He gave her a shy smile and looked down a little. He remembered when she made him that promise. They hadn’t even been together yet. He’d thanked her for always being there for him and she just smiled and said “that’ll never change” as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It wasn’t some big declaration or grand gesture. It was just a fact, plain and simple. But that seemed like a lifetime ago now. Nothing between them was plain or simple anymore. It was messy and complicated, and he still couldn’t wrap his head around how they’d gotten here. How everything had fallen apart so quickly.
He looked up at her, really looked at her for the first time since the call had switched to video. She looked different, but still as breathtaking as ever. She’d cut her hair short, probably in deference to working in the hot Puerto Rican sun all day. It had that tousled freshly washed look and he could almost feel its silky softness under his fingers. He remembered how he used to spend hours running his fingers through her hair, gently lulling her to sleep as she curled up next to him on the couch after a long shift.
Her eyes glistened in the darkened room, and he let himself get lost in them, lost in the rich brown flecked with gold that always spoke volumes to him. He could see hesitation and a flicker of sadness in them now. But there was something else beyond that, something that was just out of reach. He could have sworn it was wistfulness or maybe longing, but he couldn’t quite tell. Whatever it was, it disappeared before he could fully grasp it.
He was staring at her, his piercing blue eyes looking straight through to her soul. Her heartbeat quickened under his intense gaze and all the feelings she’d worked so hard to bury came rushing back. She knew in her heart that she’d never love anyone the way she loved Matt, but life had pulled them in different directions and in the end, they’d both just let go. She’d finally convinced herself that it was probably for the best, but deep down she knew it wasn’t true. All it took was looking into Matt’s eyes to remind her of how much she still loved him. She bit her tongue a little to keep her from telling him that she missed him, that she wished things could be different, that they could work things out. But she knew it wouldn’t be fair to him, and she couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him anymore than she already had. So she quickly tucked all those feelings away, hoping her eyes wouldn’t give her away.
They stayed like that for several more moments, staring into each other's eyes through the screen. Neither knowing what to say next and neither wanting the call to end just yet.
“What the hell are we doing, Gabby?” Matt finally broke the spell.
“What? What are you talking about?” she asked slightly bewildered.
He knew he probably shouldn’t have said anything, should have just let sleeping dogs lie. But he was tired of lying to himself, tired of pretending that he’d moved on , and that’s exactly what he’d been doing: pretending. Because there’s no way that he could ever move on from Gabby, it just wasn’t possible. He knew in his heart that she felt the same way about him. He could see it in her eyes despite her best efforts to hide it.
“When I was staring down the barrel of that gun yesterday, I truly thought that I was about to die and all I could see was your face, all I could think of was how I would never get to see you again,” he revealed, knowing that was a big part of the reason why he’d been feeling so unsettled. “How did we just let it all fall apart?”
Gabby took a deep breath and fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. “You know it’s not that simple, Matt.”
She’d pictured this moment thousands of times in her mind. How she and Matt would somehow find their way back into each other’s lives again. How they could try to find a way past everything that had torn them apart. But she never dared to think that it would actually be possible, that they could ever go back to how things were before.
“Look, I know we have a lot of things to work through. I get that.” He conceded when he saw her hesitation. “But don’t we owe it to ourselves to at least try?”
“You really mean that? Even after everything that’s happened?” she asked, still not quite believing that this was actually happening, that it wasn’t all just a dream.
“It’s the only thing that makes sense, Gabby. That hasn’t changed either,” he smiled as he reminded her of what he told her all those years ago, when he vowed that he would never let her walk out of his life again. He’d failed to keep that promise, but he was more determined than ever to make up for that mistake.
“So what do you have in mind exactly?” she asked, still trying to process what this all meant. How were they even going to do this when they were thousands of miles apart?
“What if we start slow?” he suggested. “Like, maybe I could call you even when I’m not going through an existential crisis?”
“I’d like that,” she admitted with a smile. “And maybe I could call you, just because…”
“I’d really like that too,” he smiled back and felt a rush of relief wash over him. For the first time in months, he finally felt like everything would be okay. He saw her stifle a yawn and realized just how late it was. “It’s getting pretty late. I guess I should let you go and get some rest.”
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. I do have a pretty early start tomorrow,” she admitted.
“Well then, that settles it. Time for bed young lady, no arguments,” he playfully scolded her and was rewarded by the sweet sound of her laugh.
“Okay, okay,” she put a hand up in surrender. “I guess we should call it a night. But we’ll talk again soon right?” she asked hopefully.
“Definitely,” he assured her with absolute conviction. They were getting another chance and he wasn’t going to waste it. They would find their way back and come out stronger than ever, he was sure of it.
“Alright then, goodnight Matt.”
“Goodnight Gabby,” he replied softly. “Talk to you later,” he added as he got ready to end the call. It was something he’d taken to saying ever since she’d asked him to never say goodbye to her again.
“Talk to you later.” She returned his promise before reluctantly ending the call with a small wave and a sleepy smile.
Gabby sighed and set her phone back down on the nightstand, still reeling from everything that had just happened. Feelings of relief, gratitude and hope all hit her at once and unleashed the tears she’d been holding back until now. She gently wiped them away as she laid back against the pillows and settled in for what promised to be the most restful night’s sleep she’d had in months. She knew she and Matt had a long road ahead of them, but for the first time in a long time, she truly believed that they would be able to find a way to make it through.
#Gabriela Dawson#Matt Casey#dawsey#casey x dawson#dawson x casey#fanfiction#fanfic#Chicago Fire#mine
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