#anyway I ranted again sorry; 😞

[iid-smile]

can't get rid of me , fushiguro toji

a strong legacy to be left behind , chapter one

the series masterlist. | previous | next

cw: profanity, mentions of pregnancy (pills) but filtered for megumi's sake, mentions of violence in prison, you're broke, smoking cigarettes

author's note: sigh... im out of my fluff era 😞 (sorry guys) kinda wanted to write something that i think would actually happen in some sort of alternate jjk universe and um idk how far to go because this kind of stuff does happen in the manga, but writing it feels illegal??? idk...

"mom?" megumi peeks out from around the corner in the hallway. "who was calling?"

another groan escapes your lips, around the fifth one in the last three minutes, and you silence your phone once again. "your— excuse my language, shitty deadbeat dad keeps wanting to call me." you slap your hand across your forehead and lean back on the couch, a small creak coming from somewhere below. "apparently he's getting aggressive in prison. shut off the house phone, but they still found my number..."

your son comes closer to you, and you scoop him up, placing him by your side. he glances up at you, and you swear your fight or flight instincts nearly kicked in, (not that you'd be able to fight of a guy as big as toji anyways) flinching slightly from his sharp gaze. it sucks how he looks so much like his dad, because you loved megumi so much. but the image of that guy was almost too much to bear, and he's the spitting image.

"shitty?" he repeats. for a well-behaved kid, he really doesn't respect your words.

"don't say that megs, it's bad language." you swear around him all of the time, so what's the point in scolding him? "only your mama can say it."

"don't tell me what to do."

wow. okay. why do you feel threatened by a six year old? "damn, you've got his attitude too." you mutter, but you've only got yourself to blame for that. you knew you were never cut out to be a mother, so your ways of parenting weren't the best.

he snuggles closer to you, and you openly accept, moving your free hand to his hair to rub over it. "why can't i see toji?"

ah, this lovely story again. "because he left me as soon as you were born, love." really, you couldn't and didn't want to stop yourself from wrapping him up in your arms, feeling the need to protect him. "at this point, he's dead to me. seems like he doesn't feel the same though... i'm so sick of his ass." you also knew it wasn't good parenting to rant to your child about adult issues, but you've only got him to talk to.

that hug was out of comfort then. why are you lying to yourself?

he looks up at you with an irritatingly cute but blank face. "why?"

"god, i hate how many questions you ask." you speak under your breath once again, looking up at the ceiling from any sort of help from a higher being. the amount of times you've had to family-friendly-ify things that have happened isn't even funny. you're not naturally rated u for universal. it's more embarrassing when he recites those same stories to his teachers, and you get called into the school for a little talk.

yikes... here we go. "he lied when he said he gave me the right magical candy after we visited the stork. tried to make it drop you off back to where babies are made in heaven, but i wanted it to deliver you to me, whether he liked that or not." the story's got to be a little filtered somehow. you'd rather not get yourself in the principal's office again. "you're my little hero; a miracle to me. i would've given up on myself ages ago. your dad is a bad, bad man."

the type that would kill. if he found where you lived, or perhaps where megumi goes to school...

"and now i'm left broke in an apartment that barely functions, yet i still spoil my little hero." you sing-song, leaning your head back. "and with what money? i'm broke as hell, megs. can't even make both of us breakfast in the morning cuz your elementary school is too damn expensive."

"is this my fault?"

"...no. no, baby, of course not." you furrow your eyebrows more, a small pout in your lips. "if anything, you made my situation a bit more fortunate."

it's a selfish way of thinking, using your child to avoid solving your problems, using your child to wail and complain about how much you hate your life, but you've got nothing to lose. nothing to lose except for the one person you love.

you can feel your phone buzzing again.

"you stay here and watch tv, okay? mama's gonna go to the kitchen and talk to her friend." he seems a bit relieved as you let go of him, and you stand up.

you hear him mutter. "it's only playing the news though..." no shit it only plays the news, you can't afford to get a good television company that has any kids shows. that is, unless you wanna get scammed out of all of your money.

begrudgingly, you make your way to the kitchen, confirm that you closed the door completely, and answer the vibrating device. "hello?" you sigh, placing the device over your ear.

the other person on the call replies quickly. "is this miss—"

"yeah, yeah, it is. what the hell do you want?"

"um... we apologise, but we strongly suggest that you come to the prison building. he—" the guy's voice cracks. must be really nervous. "pardon me. he's been physically assaulting other inmates and guards, he doesn't follow orders, he never leaves his cell unless it's to visit the closed visits room. you know, in hopes that you'll come..."

obsessed much? where was this energy six years ago? "that's got nothing to do with me."

"please, ma'am. he won't listen to anyone, and we are unable to place him into special facilities as he doesn't emit any cursed energy." ah, he's begging? that's a first. you never would've thought you'd hear a person who works at a prison begging.

cursed energy, cursed energy, this talk again and again and again. "urgh..." you take a deep breath. your options are limited, and they won't stop calling until they can get that lunatic to calm down... surprise, surprise, you really don't want to go.

but if you were really uninterested in him, wouldn't you have already spent the bail money that's been sat on the counter for ages, neatly concealed in an envelope? wouldn't you have paid off all of your debts already? "will i— hm..." choose your words carefully, goddamn it. "can i get a reward of some sort if i go? money?"

"yes, yes! please do visit. there's nothing we can legally do to him in check anymore." ...you think this guy sounds a little too eager.

damn toji and his "supernatural powers", or else you wouldn't get yourself into this mess. finally, after your moment of silence, you respond. "okay. i'll visit."

"thank you—!" you cut off the line.

"fucking bastard..." you drop your phone on the counter, running your hands through your hair and over your face. "stressing me out for what? you don't even love me." your words turn into whispers. with haste, you rummage through your back pocket, trying to find those last few cigarettes, but as your hands were occupied, your eyes moved over to the ashtray that was collecting dust on top of the microwave. oh, right... you don't smoke anymore because there's no ventilation indoors.

you'd have to head out if you wanted to, but then megumi would be in the apartment on his own. and nobody can babysit, because you don't have anybody to ask to babysit. great, you can't smoke until monday. it's a friday afternoon. you have two whole days to get through!

you know for a fact your addiction won't hold out for that long.

[scoobydoodean]

Hey 👋 I just wanted to ask when, in your view of Dean, do you see him figuring out his sexuality? I know you don't like the idea that Sam explains it to him as an adult through some inexplicable ability to diagnose someone with bisexuality and I also dislike this idea as I feel it kinda disregards both Dean's personal experiences as well as the general climate towards queer people when he was growing up which was obviously not favourable at all. Also if you believe that he figured himself out early on, do you think rufus and bobby helped with that? Idk I just like the idea of dean having queer elders in his life and finding out about himself that way. Or maybe I just like the idea of dean having a support group 😞. Anyway sorry this ended up being me just kinda going on a rant. Thank you for all your dean posts he is my favourite and seeing you defend him makes me very happy 😊

I enjoy the idea that Dean has been hooking up with women and men the whole time and we just don't get to see that explicitly (because of the network? Because of Chuck? Because Dean keeps his activities with men under wraps out of caution? Because he made a bet over how long it'd take Sam to notice? Pick your poison).

Fun little bits that lend to this perspective for me are 1.15 The Benders, Dean's fascination with Dr. Sexy and his sexy cowboy boots, Crowley and Demon Dean's summer of love (especially the triplets), Dean's affinity for dorky little guys and Victor Henriksen.

The most interesting and convincing one to me though is the idea of Dean testing the waters with Cas a few times in season 5 with little flirtations, only to come to the conclusion that Cas isn't into men because Cas keeps missing all of his hints about hooking up (5.03a, 5.03b, 5.03&4.10&5.15, 5.18). Or they did hook up once at some point but it didn't become anything more and didn't happen again after the one time (6.19).

Regretfully, I must also spare a nod to #sam knows (but so does Dean!).

It's just fun to me. It's fun to think about. I don't really have any specific headcanons about an exact time period when he figured out "Oh I like chicks and dudes". But I also don't think John Winchester would give a shit if Dean fucked dudes or wanted to date or even marry a guy so I don't know that the family aspect would be such a big issue (*cough cough* bi John truthing). If anything, I think John might worry himself sick about Dean getting hate crimed by somebody and open his big mouth and say some things he shouldn't have—the same way he drove Sam away because he was so fixated on the terror he felt at the idea of Sam not being safe (1.08, 1.20). Then again, John was never as paranoid about Dean's safety as he was about Sam's.

I do have a tag where I collect queer dean stuff. #swayze always gets a pass.

[yourecitten]

hi i don’t mean to be negative, i just feel helpless and need advice or to rant and i rlly like the way u explain things , so i’ve been manifesting since the beginning of school and i forgot ab her during our first semester of finals and she started texting me a lot and we basically got into a talking stage, then she stopped and i didn’t care cuz school ended yk? but then school started again and she didn’t text me at all or give me attention then i got into manifesting again, and she literally said my affirmations back to me and things were going so well with us , then it all stopped , and i didn’t spiral i kept affirming but nothing seemed to work , and like i kept manifesting nothings changed , and i was starting to panic since school was ending and she’s a senior!! and i wanted to get with her during school , anyways i kept affirming did sats had a mental diet and did legit everything and the 3d didn’t change which was embarrassing since my friends keep telling me to move on and that she’s not into me anymore ,😞😞, anyways school has now ended sadly, me and her haven’t talked or anything for like 2 months, and i really wanted to hug her before school ended too and she completely ignored my existence, i still want to manifest her , but we’re on no contact and last time i texted her she was rude to me, i feel like no matter what i do she won’t text me it’s annoying cuz i manifest and affirm and visualize and like decide i’ll have the text tmrw then i wake up and don’t see shit.

SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH I JUST HAVENT TALKED AB RHIS BEFORE CUZ I DIDNT WANNA BE NEGATIVE AND THINK ABOUT THIS BUT IM TIRED OF WAITING AND NOT SEEING CHANGE i’ll go back to ignoring the 3d i just would like some advice ty

I feel like you are obsessing over her. fulfill your desires in the 4d please, it will come at the perfect timing in the 3d you just need to relax. Don't look at the time, do what you love doing, and work on your self-concept because you are full without her, you are more than enough, you don't need anyone, and also start acting like you are in a relationship with her no matter what the 3d showing you.

[klypsolworks]

Thank you!!!! I love Firefly and if you're confused I have two accounts one for g.I joe stuff and one main

I loved the show I loved the baroness and Deadstar together (I can't spell his name sorry) and don't get me wrong I like the twins but they annoyed the shit out of me!!!

I personally like Scarlett mostly cause I'm a girl's girl lol and I like the other guys two and was shocked they "killed" someone off the first episode but my ass knew he was going to come back cause obviously kids show but I thought it would be a season finale type thing but they probably put him in last few episodes cause they knew that the show was getting canceled 😞

Sorry for ranting

No need to apologize. I love a good rant! In fact, I'm about to go on one myself.

And yeah, I figured out the two accounts, but thanks for clarifying anyway. It's appreciated.

Firefly was a great addition to the show, and I wish we got to see more of him. His love of fire was really interesting to see and I wanted to see how he and Cobra Commander would've interacted. I may be remembering wrong, but I'm pretty sure he really only talked to Baroness. Still a great character.

Renegades also had the best version of Destro and Baroness I've seen yet. I personally hate most other versions of those two. Destro more than Baroness, but still. They always just came off as no good, selfish, and way too egotistical. And not in a fun way like Cobra Commander. But this show made them genuine, and I appreciated that a lot.

I'm still not the biggest fan of Scarlett. I think her dynamic with Snake Eyes was cool, and I liked her banter with the rest of the team. But in the end, she was still largely a stuck-up know it all just like in the original series. I'm probably just biased though, and I'm glad she has fans because she's a well written character.

As for Tomax and Xamot, I liked what they did with their psychic abilities. It was an interesting take on the characters. However, they were clearly underutilized, and I sadly wasn't invested in them much after their first episode. I'm sure they would've been fleshed out better if the series wasn't canceled. However, I still think I like them better than the original twins who were mostly just untrustworthy worms.

I was genuinely surprised by Ripcord's death and revival. I'm impressed that anyone saw that coming. I actually laughed pretty hard when he first died. Not sure why. Maybe I was just shocked, but it amused me. Sometimes kids shows really do keep characters dead though. Transformers Prime, for example, killed off Cliffjumper in the first episode and only brought him back as a zombie to be killed again. Anyway, point is Ripcord's whole story was cool and I wish we could've seen more. Just wish he didn't talk in his Bio Viper form.

Great show! 10/10 would watch again. Feel free to share more thoughts and we can keep ranting back and forth!

[miyamoratsumuu]

IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY 🔥🔥🔥🔥 So here's my weekly checkup <3 How are youuu?? It's been raining really heavily so I hope you're fine

Wednesday was suspended for us, not sure for you, but I hope you got your rest if you didn't have school then 🫶🏽

I can finally work on my smau I'm shaking from excitementtt wjhehs andand earlier was the time we'd wear Filipiniana!! It was so cold in the room 🥲 Also crammed a presentation the night before and my group did it perfectly😍 Mixed feelings about this week going by fast... next week is our performance task week🤕 I'll get through all the presentations trust💪🏽

ANYWAYS RANT TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT PLEASEE ILY 💙💙

LOU HUHU I AM SO SORRY FOR ONLY ANSWERING THIS NOW EVEN THOUGH I SAID I'D ANSWER IT THE OTHER DAY 😞😞

for the most part, I've been fine!! and yeah, bc of the rain we had no f2f classes the whole week 🤕 LIKE HUHU I WAS SUFFERING THE WHOLE WEEK I REALLY DON'T LIKE ONLINE CLASSES:( I hope you were safe this week thoughh!! the rain + wind were really strong, I hope everyone that was affected by it is okay ☹️

AND YES I SAW UR SMAU I'LL READ IT A LITTLE LATER FINALLY!!!! and well buwan ng wika is over so we're temporarily free from the filipinianas now 😭 as much as I love our traditional clothing, it really isn't the best to wear for our school setting huhu

and omg idk what it is about cramming a presentation the night before and absolutely nailing it the next day?? SO SO HAPPY FOR U!!!! I HOPE YOU GOT THROUGH PERFORMANCE TASK WEEK OKAY!! wishing you all the best ml 🫶🏻

OKOK I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU ‼️ TONS OF YAPPING AHEAD ‼️

so I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before but I *was* running for gr 10 representative in a partylist the other week BUT change of plans HAHA one of my all time fav teachers convinced me to switch partylists and run as president instead 😞 I really didn't want to at first bc I wasn't sure if I could do it and I didn't want to go against the president of the partylist I was in before</3 BUT she knows that I was aiming for the leadership award at graduation so she spent almost an hoir convincing me, along with some of my classmates + my other partylist members from my old party 🙏🏼 so guess what, I'm running for pres now!!! aha ahsh hshah haha hah 😅😅

campaigning has been going on for a week now, and I think we've been doing well!! most of my batchmates have been so so supportive of me and it just warms my heart sm idk ☹️ the election itself is next week i think, so wish me luck!!

OH OH AND OUR BUWAN OF WIKA CULMINATING WAS LAST WEEK FRIDAY!! we were tasked to write and perform a filipino rap based on the topic of "environment"

and omg when I tell you we did NOT have a practice until the day before the performance??? we were actually about to cry the day before and some of our groupmates actually teared up after our performance bc we all thought we didn't do the best idk 😞 BUT AAAAHHHH WE ENDED UP WINNING!!! AGAINST 7 OTHER GROUPS OMGOMGISHDJ MY JOY WAS WAY UP THERE

next on my to do list now is the tons of work of mine that got piled up over the week bc I was so busy with our campaigning materials that I wasn't able to do almost any of our assignments over online classes 😞😞 the ones I haven't done actually are supposed to be passed when f2f resumes but idk I have less than two days to finish everything huhu

ANYWAY I'D LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT HOW YOUR WEEK WANT BABES 🤍🤍 ILY ILY I'M SO SORRY AGAIN FOR RESPONDING TO THIS SO LATE</3

[chiiyuuvv]

super random but i just realized we got the same biases in riize and xikers 🤭 btw how long have you been stanning them both and when did you choose your biases? <3

STOPPPPP you're hunter + anton + shotaro too????? NAUR THIS IS A JOKEE

Ive been stanning xikers for little over a year, discovered them through ateez when they were promoting as kq fellaz 2. Hunter has also been my bae for little over a year, literally first glance and i had fallen hard wai-

LOOK. AT. BEAUTIFUL- SURREAL- URGHHHHH HES SO HSISKSJSKSOSKSNSJ

yeah and idk if ive said this or not but i have a really big english kink.. i think that says a lot 🤷‍♀️

As of riize, i heard about get a guitar but never paid attention to it bc wth am going to do with a guitar?? Learned about them more through a friend that was obsessing over anton (@yawnzzznnn COUGH COUGH) and then i listened to get a guitar.. it was okay. Listened to memories and that. Was. My song.

I had already knew most of the members names bc i was reading fanfics of them bc i wanted something new to read-

Ummm.. how/why did i start stanning for me to be able to stan a group, i have to find a song that i like a lot, and then a member that really reels me into the group, making me want to learn more about them. In this case it was seunghan haha

So erm.. i remember talk saxy came out but i never listened to it, just saw the thumbnail on youtube and i was just like "oh cool!" And continued on with my day. A few days later though (fun fact talk saxy was released on my kpop anniversary) it finally dawned on me that they had a new mv so i listened to it at school. It was just okay. Watched the mv when i got home; the song was songing (for context, when i have a fav song i play the crap out of it then get tired of it a week later.. talk saxy took me a month to recover-) and seunghan was seunghaning.

So uhh.. decided to look more into them. My bias list at the time was seunghan.. maybe shotaro then sohee then sungchan (reminds me of yujun) and then anton (idk if anton was up or down or not)

Shotaro caught my eye bc usually hes really giggly and smiley but i had watched the bts of talk saxy and my jaw DROPPED bc how he so foine like?????

As far as anton.. me bestieee (@starryriize) is sohee biased and i was too kinda, but anton was catching my eye a little bit so i just declared he would be my bias even though i thought it would change in a week or so (IT DIDNT HAHAHAH)

I don't really remember when anton started giving.. like bro just spawned on top and just stayed there 💀 i think it was when i was watching those old riize videos where their preparing everything and anton was so SOFTTT and TINYYY and SQUISHYY (i get lots of cute agression with riize)

And honestly, i thought his english was just okay so i stopped looking it up. But i think i looked it up like a week later again just because or something like that AND OH MY GOD

i also love me some good predebut anton 😋

Anyways, cant exactly pinpoint when i started being down bad for the boy (bc im so down bad its crazy form 😞) just know bro came out of no where and hes not going just yet.

Sorry for the rant lmao, i always find it so interesting to think back on my pre-stan days and i usually think about it with myself, ive never actually told anyone so this feels a bit new.

I wub my english speakers + shotaro <3

TALK SAXY IS PLAYING RN LMAOOOOOO

[sukirichi]

holy shit long rant ahead

"Like-like you're looking for the man who courted you two years ago, the one you truly wanted to marry. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, because you're not going to find him. He never existed in the first place. Whatever it is you're looking for, you won't find it in me," *shit here we go again audio with head in my hands*

"Get out of your head. Just because I did all those things for you, doesn't mean they meant something. Are you forgetting I spent two years of my life trying to win you over, and I never once felt something for you other than tolerance?" When your face fell, triumph washed over his features. "That's right. You remember now, don't you? She's the one I want. Everything I do is for her. Don't forget your place."

Man idk how the princess heard this another time without breaking down in rage cause either this man is going down with me or nothing. Princess where is your self respect? PICK YOURSELF UPPPPPPP THIS MAN LEGIT RUNS ALL OVER YOU AND all we do is cry and yearn for more LIKE WE NEED TO BLOW IR*S AND HIM UP ATP BRING THE BIG GUNS OUT I NEED KUROO AND HIS ROOSTER LOOKING ASS TO POST THAT ARTICLE ASAP

“Your mother's sniffles was the last thing you heard before the sound of a fist connecting with skin resounded in the area. Pulling back, you gasped at what you saw.”

OH THE SATISFACTION I FELT HERE SWEET HEAVENS I wish someone recorded it and we could watch it all over again cause UM LESGO WWE 🗣️🤺 never have I ever loved a father this much cause he SLAYED LEFT NO CRUMBS AT ALLL #curedmyfatherissues

“Want me, you pleaded silently, at least want me. Just a little bit.” pookie 🤠😟😞 cmon we better than this

“Rintaro hadn't mean to. Sure, he was careless and never used protection, but he thought little of it. Iris® cycles were irregular and they never worried if she missed her period. She was always on the pill - all because of him, since Kiyoomi wouldn't have touched her anyway.”

he’s one sick bastard I hope he rots imagine cheating on your wife that you claim to love, doing it in your shared bed AND without protection like babe the article was so deserved by god

and the ending sentence,,,,,just made me so sick because as much as I hate rin and ir*s, I think I hate the queen and the king more because the issues started with them. with the king being an absolute whore and having kids with random ass women LIKE WHERE IS THE VASECTOMY GET HIS TUBES TIED and the queen being a bitch to rin his whole life just to find out my man got issues for nothing??? not defending him at all but to find out that all he knew as his “home” and family (even tho they sucked) were all never really his,,, I can see his heart breaking with the image he had of his family in his mind in the form of drawings made by his inner child, torn in half,,,,,,,oh I am about to be SICK

(and once he finally found his real home aka princess, bro fumbled it up BADDDD like if I was him I would beg for forgiveness + repent + burn the castle with the queen in it <33 (not the princes, tobio pookie you are coming home with me)

bro’s mental health must be in a delicate state, I hate him but I am also worried for him 🥲

- Freud anon is in shambles btw

THE HERE WE GO AGAIN AUDIO AAHJKA SO TRUE he just keeps on going back and forth like decide already!! 😭 do you want us or not!!

the self respect is… there, just buried under very deep layers of still hoping for something good. but also like we can’t really blame dtd!yn for acting this way because rintaro was FINALLY changing and being the husband we wanted him to be! the whole romantic dinner setup, working on the beach house together, and not once even mentioning iris????!!? BRO WAS DEDICATED. but then yeah he really just had to ruin it all again UGH. “all we do is cry and yearn for more.” actually real.

the daddy issues tag im crying 😭 sending all my love and hugs to you anon. BUT YES omg I loveeee our dad so much in DTD because he really said fuck around and find out! dude literally did not care that he was punching a royal because his daughter was more important than their titles! our parents in dtd are soo parents goals I love them <3

nauh bcos rintaro is careless and CRAZYYY. not only did they do it in OUR bed but he did it raw like! I would’ve thrown up ngl. AGHJSKA the vasectomy LMFAO. unfortunately it’s his duty to have many children and he fulfilled that part VERY well, just yknow… they really should’ve specified to him that he had to have kids with his wife and not other women. but yes I agree! all the problems really started because the king and queen hated each other (or more like, the queen hated him for how he treated her, and the king just didn’t care about her at all. he just knew she’d be a good queen and he needed someone smart and capable in leading the country so he can slack off. terrible, terrible man.) YES OMGGG THE DRAWINGS STOPPP I GET SO SAD EVERYTIME I THINK OF RINTARO’S LIFE WAS STOLEN FROM HIM AND ALL HIS ISSUES, EVERYTHING THAT HE FUCKED UP, HAD BEEN FOR NOTHING! and now he’s fumbling so bad too like bro is losing everything that should’ve never been his in the first place ugh.

YES! we protect and love tobio in this house!! and I agree </3 rintaro is going through a lot and it honestly goes two ways – it’s either he does worse things to cope, or he completely shuts down and forgets everything that happened. I’m not sure which one I prefer…

[hiraya-rawr]

hello! i've been following u for quite some time now and i rlly love the way u write!! 🫶 i'm a fellow writer but i'm still comtemplating if i should open a writing blog bcos english is not my first language. sorry i feel like this suddenly turned into a rant/vent message 😣 anyway, the reason i wrote to u is to share smth that's been on my mind for a lil while now! have u watched kimi ni todoke? i recently finished the anime + manga and i rlly loved the whole series! i can't stop myself simping for sawako and it's kinda ironic since in these kinds of romance anime, u typically get hung up with the male lead but it was the opposite for me! kazehaya is sure charming but my little darling sawako is so adorable im willing to burn the world for her 😞 okay i got sidetracked again sorry for my simp ass jdkwkxiw

so i've been thinking of sawako!reader that works for the kamisato clan. long, black hair that usually hides her face — she's kinda feared amongst the workers inside the kamisato estate. always mistaken as a ghost or spirit that roams around the estate when in fact, she's just trying to finish her job. rumors about her seem to worsen everyday that even the loyal and trusted retainer of the head, thoma, thinks it's kind of ridiculous. of course, our ever charming blonde boy tries to interact more with the reader but he feels like he was hated. don't get her wrong tho, she admires thoma so much! who wouldn't? he's lively, respectful and always seemed to be the center of attention, even amongst the maidens that work for the kamisato. she strives to be a person just like him but the reader understands that she somehow scares the people she tries to talk with. worry not, she isn't discouraged by this! she simply has to try next time right? there's always a next time (tho she couldn't help but wonder, when is this next time? why does it take so long?). little did she know, her life's going to be changed when the gentleman himself took it upon his hands to properly talk and get to know her. little by little, her life changed and she even managed to befriend the lady of the house, lady ayaka! the ever kind and loving younger sibling of the kamisato household, ayaka made it her life mission to try and make the reader smile. no one had seen her smile genuinely, and frankly speaking, even thoma and ayaka felt the chills run down their spines when they tried to force her one time to give them a smile. it's safe to say that they never tried it again. ayaka did succeed and it took only a game of hotpot to see how much of a beautiful maiden the reader was, especially with that eyes filled with stars. and archons, the way her lips curl into a small and satisfied smile, thoma suddenly had the urge to keep this smile, only for him to see because gods this girl is so heavenly he was sure others would stop and stare. his eyes widen when he realized his train of thoughts, cheeks burning in embarassment as he berated himself because why would he even try to keep the reader for himself? he's so stupid (and whipped yes, don't tell him i said that), he thought as he silently squirmed in his seat. no one but ayaka noticed the whole ordeal, hiding her own smile behind her fan. oh the fun she would have watching these two, especially her retainer. the pining, the awkward yet satisying interactions, the stealing and fleeting glances—oh, she's so excited! (ayaka is me fr). she can't wait to spill all of these to her brother!

so yeah haha that's all for now, i think i got carried away with this brainrot im so sorry kwkxiwjd

— 🫶

I haven't watched kimi ni todoke! i actually haven't been able to watch anything lately other than bungo stray dogs and moriarty 😭 but this is a scrumptious brainrot, dw about the rant, thank you for sending this in!

[lewisvinga]

I wasn’t the one who originally talked to this, but guess which Formula one team is now up to twenty-three photos and videos for Carlos and four for Charles?!

Ferrari!

I get they’re happy they won, but they’re milking the win and it makes it less special to me. It’s Tuesday. The win is over and done with. They need to give it a fucking rest. Listen, I hate to be that person because I’m not toxic, but if this is how Ferrari acts, every time they get a win, I hope they don’t win again until Lewis joins.

I’m only saying until he joins because then people won’t say things like cancel his contract or you’re gonna regret giving him up and stuff like that.

We all know it’s not gonna happen again anyway because once Max loses, he makes sure never to lose again. If it wasn’t for the crappy, Mercedes car, Max’s only opponent would be Lewis, but right now, Max’s only opponent is his car.

I don’t know if you remember what happened last year when Checo beat Max. He said it would never happen again and then he went on to win the rest of the year. Other than that one time Carlos won. That’s how I feel like it’s going to be this year. If someone else does win, I hope it’s from any other team, except for Ferrari.

I hate feeling like this, but Ferrari and Red Bull fans think they are on top of the world, and that they are the best teams on the grid and they are unbeatable. Well, Red Bull is, but Ferrari is not.

I sincerely hope that Lando, Oscar, Yuki, and Logan gets their first wins, or even podium in Yuki and Logan’s case!

I’m sorry if I seem toxic, but Ferrari admin just shared yet another compilation of videos and photos of the same exact goddamn thing as they had the other 22 times, but from different angles.

I now know what that other anon meant but it’s getting annoying.

Sorry for ranting. You’re probably sick and tired of people coming to complain about other teams

But a quick question. How the fuck did the Mercedes car get worse than last year’s?

still posting on tuesday is a bit much, like the hype already passed 😭

i just rlly hope lewis wins w ferrariiiii, merc has been doing him dirty asf and he deserves that 104th😫

yeah for sure if lewis had an equal car to red bull then there’d be more competition esp between him and max, it’s a shame merc keeps getting worse n worse 😭😭

i don’t mind carlos winning tbh it’s just the fans who make me annoyed asf with their ‘ferrari made a big mistake’ ‘ferrari is gonna regret it’ comments 💀 like PLEASE lewis is a 7x wdc of course he’s gonna be picked over a 3x race winner

i just rlly want logan points 😞😞 and yuki podium would be so💗💗

i thought last year was the end of mercedes shit show IDEK HOW KTS WORSE NOW

[madaraservingcunt]

Hi.

I'm sorry if my rant is annoying and you don't have to reply if you don't want to.

I just don't seem to dare to draw. I just can't get started I'm too scared of failing even if when I sometimes do, the things don't turn out thaaaat bad but still 😞😓

I'm gonna write something for you under the readmore, it's pretty long so I don't expect a solid response.

My biggest struggle was comparing myself to other artists. It took some soul searching to overcome this. I have some questions for you:

When you think about making art, do you want to make it for other people?

Is this why you worry about failing?

As in, your art is so bad you don't get any recognition, or even worse, possibly mocked for it?

I can relate to all of those questions I just asked you because I worried about them constantly. I mean, a huge part of me getting my iPad was specifically to draw Madara xD

This was the first pic I was happy with.

It took me a while to adapt from traditional art to digital. I spent an entire night just practicing lines. When I got it down, I was SO happy. I drew Madara!!!

Everyone being so excited to have their asks answered encouraged me a lot.

Then I got nervous cause what if I drew something and it sucked and they didn't like it? What if it got zero notes?

It stopped me for a while. I also had some trouble with being reported by anonymous users for silly stuff, and my posts kept getting flagged, so my pictures and memes wouldn't even post. It really bummed me out, so I like the queue take over and stopped paying attention to this blog...

Then, during my artistic slump, I watched Chommang again:

I know it's annoying to be recommended videos to watch, especially if you have a short attention span like I do. But this really changed my perspective. I'll clip the specific parts that resonate with me below:

His basic message is to change the attitude you have about creation. If you see it as a contest, it will be hard to enjoy, especially as a beginner.

The people who post their art here have fine-tuned it for hours. I mean HOURS. Some of the colored digital art on here probably took 6+hrs and a lot of frustration on the artist's end, I'm sure. There are some colored pieces that took me 6hrs. Example:

When I posted stuff like this I got embarrassed cause I have some artists I really admire who follow me and I was like damn...it took me so long to make this and it's NOTHING compared to what they have drawn. But it's not fair to myself or to them to do that...they didn't challenge me. If anything, they encouraged me to get better.

I talked to a couple of artists I admire and every single one of them was so supportive and cool.

ALSO WHY IS IT SO SCARY TO TALK TO THEM.

It feels like talking to a celebrity.

But they're people just like you and me. The only difference is that they are at a different level of experience than you and I are. But I mean, they had to start somewhere, too. Why do you make yourself feel shame for that? It's something you have to overcome if you want to share your art. Is that why you are afraid of trying?

You don't have to post it. I have so many scrapped pics and WIP on ProCreate, yall don't even know lmao.

Try to do one dynamic pose a day. Try to watch ONE Chommang video a week and follow along, if you have a busy schedule. Or if you're depressed and slumped like I was, my best advice is LIMIT YOUR SCREEN TIME. Being online with all your free time is not ideal for someone depressed.

Idk what is going on in your life but if you're too scared to start something cause you're worried you'll fail, that is a journey I cannot walk you through. Sorry this got really long and kinda preachy at the end...

Anyways, I hope this anon reads this and feels a little bit of encouragement!

[s-4pphics]

Permission to rant about click in frame ?

A good rant, dw. Love part 2, obviously.

But I honestly honestly related to oc so hard… like, reading your story, one of the things I noticed was how embarrassed she was to just exist. With her self, just alone; or around Ellie.

Like, if click!oc saw Abby or even Maya again, she’d basically crawl into a hole. I wouldn’t even be surprised if you wrote that a hole magically appeared and she crawled into it lol.

I felt that, honestly. She’s going to therapy and one of the things therapists will tell you when you’ve hurt someone and you feel excruciatingly guilty about it and want to change is that you’re supposed to love yourself. Like, forgive yourself and then you’ll be able to move on or accept the other party’s forgiveness easier.

It’s so hard to do that when you end up feeling so small, and a shell of yourself, and you portrayed that in oc so well.. I honestly still feel like that sometimes and I’ve, like, passed her stage of guilt that she’s in…

I don’t know if you plan to put in more angst as the series goes on, between reader and ellie; but I hope now that oc is on a good path, ellie is able to show her how to have pride in herself again.

Cuz the surprise ellie had at the drastic 180 oc had in character, is the kind of surprise a person has when they get like that too. Like ‘I was once like this now I’m only just a shell of myself. How do I get back there? How did I change so much?’ That kinda thing. Usually it’s kindness and a loving environment, internal and external; and allowance for redemption that makes the growth happen properly, and oc really needs a long hug showing all of that.

She’s been going through wayy too many stressful events and now that everything has calmed for her, I think she just needs to learn that she’s okay and there’s nothing fundamentally wrong or messed up with her.

Sorry this is really long, I honestly couldn’t go on without ranting😅

Anyway, I lobe your shit ❤️

i shouldn’t be crying this early in the morning BUT I AM!!!! RANT ALL U WANT I LOVE HEARING FROMYALL FR😞😞😞 SOBBING😞😞😞

I LOVE YOU😞😞😞

[anzynai]

jai how do you feel about ena shinonome

SORRY LOMLLLL this was forever ago but i kinda uh completely forgot about it,,, but there’s no time like the present so let me talk about one of my favorite characters EVER and since u so graciously sent me this ask, i WILL be using this as my excuse to rant

SO FIRST OF ALL, i feel like she’s just very realistic. she puts so much time into her art and yet never thinks it looks good enough. it doesn’t help that her father is a bitch and is always like “u don’t have talent blah blah blah” WHEN SHE DOES, if you’ve seen the tiny little glimpses of her artwork that is shown through various of her cards (because they refuse to give us an actual closeup😞) but as many characters are characterized as these like selfless beings who can do no wrong, i enjoy the aspect of ena’s character that is NOT that.

she struggles with seeing how good her art is so she seeks validation through her selfies, since they get so much more attention than her illustrations. she doesn’t always take well to constructive criticism, though she is working in improving that, when she begins taking her old teacher’s classes again. and, well, she’s not always nice, which is an aspect i admire because again, it doesn’t portray her as perfect because she does lash out, she is selfish at times, and sometimes, she does things that she shouldn’t have.

still, i admire that she works on those things. i love the good things about her the most. she’s never pushy. she had never pressured or tried to pressure mizuki to reveal their secret to her and sure, whatever, bare minimum, but with so many people or characters who don’t do that nowadays, it’s respectable and admirable that she knows boundaries. she’s actually pretty sweet, you can tell she cares about her friends and i love her relationship with akito because it’s so realistic. i love the other pairs of siblings, but they fight like normal siblings, but yet show they care in other ways. i also enjoy her sarcasm and how easy it is for the others, namely mizuki, to rule her up.

people talk about how they don’t like her because of how she treated mafuyu, but it just feels like she says what needs to be said. i think everyone tiptoes around mafuyu, but that’s not always the best solution and i’m glad that ena was the one to do that. people have also said they don’t like how she treats akito. but like, akito isn’t the sweetest with her either. anyways, she’s typically only “mean” when she’s literally having a mental breakdown, which isn’t necessarily an excuse, but it’s not like that’s the only time they interact. they frequently go shopping together and even sometimes visit cheesecake shops. PLUS SHOULD I MENTION THE FACT THAT SHE LITERALLY WAS THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED HE TRY SINGING IN THE FIRST PLACE? also bonus but i thought it was cute: but on one of the 4koma’s, it’s akito’s birthday and on the cheesecake box, she does this really cute doodle of him on it.

ALSO, the reason that caught my attention of her at first, to be honest,,, was that she’s really pretty. i really really really love short hair and maybe some might think she’s plain, but she’s just so pretty and has an amazing personality to match.

anyways, i love ena shinonome!!!!!

[filmbyjy]

I’m procrastinating again cuz I’m completely stupid and lazy-

What do you think enhypen would do when you hate yourself? (I know it’s dark but idk how to stop hating myself lol🙃and it makes me worried that I’ll never have a good relationship bcuz ppl be saying you gotta love yourself first, but like how do you do that when you’ve been hating yourself for years? Like I would automatically think horrible things about myself constantly.. I’ve tried to do better lately, but then I see my body or someone else’s and I just feel bad again. And I know it’s not good to compare, but it’s so easy for me. Plus I’m a perfectionist so it sucks knowing my body will never be up to my standards & I worry that guys won’t like me bcuz of it, but idk if they actually care that much cuz the media portrays them wrongly and everything-)

Omg that was super long I’m sorry for the rant. -🥥

a/n: naur :(( I SWEAR I WILL SMACK SOME STICKER ON YOUR FOREHEAD TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOU ANON :(( please know you’re worth it 🥺💗 and you’ll definitely find the one soon enough. I’ve never been in a relationship too and I’m already 20. I myself have thought about it too, I always think that maybe I’m not pretty enough to get a boyfriend but deep down I know that I just have to be confident in myself. like my dad said because my family is sort of religious, only god knows your fate and who you date/marry. your life has been written before you were born.

ehem but anyways…let’s continue with the request! sorry it took long, I was stuck in school for 5 hours doing the same lesson😞

what enha would do if you hate yourself

heeseung: if i’m being honest, heeseung himself has struggled with hate for his looks (especially ever since he I think took out something from his nose. idk if it’s true or what. it was after blessed-cursed era when they had to perform it on some ski resort). he knows how it feels to look in the mirror and scan through your whole body. as your boyfriend, heeseung can’t help but feel sad that you ever thought of hating yourself. he wishes that he could show you, how you looked in his eyes. he tries showing you that you are worth everything. if you ever thought of possibly starving yourself/going on a diet, he can’t help but hold you close and mutter sweet nothings into your ear. something like “you don’t need to, you’re already perfect enough.”

jay: oh lord, everytime I think about jay…i just wanna cry. jay himself has always expressed his thoughts out loud. he even recently mentioned (in a jaywon live) how he is worried about getting thinner due to stress. he tries to build up more. so to think you could ever dislike yourself, jay can’t help but feel mad. well not on you just a little on your negative mentality. idk how to describe it, hopefully you get what I mean. to him, he understands it’s hard to learn to love yourself. hence every chance he gets, he will always get you something and cheer you on. “that dress looks amazing on you.” “only wear it for me. it’s only for my eyes.” before he leaves a peck on your forehead. (yes, even if you wear just a normal t-shirt, this mf will insist it’s only for his eyes)

jake: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I WOULD LITERALLY PAY TO HAVE JAKE COMFORT ME💔 jake is sooooo smooth with his words and actions. considering, how jake himself has always been friendly and sweet. it’s easy for him to comfort you with his best words. he takes it a step further by always making sure you don’t feel uncomfortable. he knows you struggle with your body image so whenever there is an event that requires you to look fancy, he will make sure to give you compliments every now and then. actually scratch that, he does that everyday even if you don’t go to some fancy event. “you look amazing sweetheart.” “that’s my girl. she’s looking so fine.”

sunghoon: i feel like for sunghoon…he wouldn’t exactly know how to act. it’s a little awkward for him to comfort someone. just like me. I find it hard comfort someone even when I wanna comfort someone. but sunghoon tries his best to comfort you. just like jay, he will attempt to gift things rather than showing to you that you are worth everything. he will also try his best to talk about it but he finds it hard to find form words so he doesn’t accidentally hurt you. give him time, he needs it. “you look extremely beautiful.” “I just don’t understand how you could hate yourself?” “I mean i’m handsome so like if you can catch my attention, what will other boys think about you?” his own way to comfort you but hey at least he makes you laugh and smile from it.

sunoo: okay so for sunoo, we all know the situation that happened with him. he understands you too. the both of you needed time to heal yourselves from this. with the help of the boys, sunoo manages to realise that he didn’t need to care about how people thought about him. he could do whatever he wants and people couldn’t control what he intends to do with his body. while sunoo healed, your mental health just became worse. every time you stared into the mirror, negative thoughts would surround you. sunoo knows, he takes every step to pull you away from the mirror. he would always pull you into a hug and tell you how amazing you are for being so strong to face the challenges everyday. gradually, he will make a time for you look at yourself in the mirror. he will always be by your side to point out all the things he loved about you. “this? mine to kiss.” he points to your cheeks. “this one, is a 10/10 place to lay on.” wraps his arms around your tummy.

jungwon: i believe jungwon’s love language is words of affirmation. much like jake. he constantly reminds you that you are amazing and loved. however, it didn’t exactly help you so he then the physical actions comes in. he always reminds himself that he needed to show you some love every once in a while. it could be pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kisses and small hand rubs. he knows you struggle with insecurities so he will always settle you down to let you talk it out and if you need to, cry it out. he always wipes your tears. “thank you for letting me listen to your worries (name).” “but just know…I will never leave you. even if you are a terrifying monster. I love you too much.”

ni-ki: people will say “oh he is young, surely he will tease you for it and then make fun of you.” pause☝️ i’m sorry but as much as he is young. you have to realise he is also forced to grow up since he is an idol now. he left japan alone without his parents to pursue his dreams. moreover, you can’t judge anything based off what we see on camera. I genuinely think ni-ki would be a comforting person. if you’ve seen that video of where he went all the way from the stage to the little girl💔 yeah i’m in pain. he is so sweet🥺 I think ni-ki won’t say much, he would rather show it to you. by giving you comforting hugs but maybe once in a while he’ll mutter an ‘i love you’ because yes I’m imagining that🥲 kisses you too and usually happens if he wants you to stop crying. “you’re too precious for this world.” “I know I don’t say much but I love you. you are an amazing girl.” “I don’t think I can ever find someone as perfect as you.”

overall, I definitely think enha would comfort and treat you like the queen you deserve to be.

[tiredmamaissy]

Hii pooka!

I js followed you recently but I was scared to say anything here so if what I ask doesn't make a lot of sense that's mb pooka😞 butttt,before I ask my question I js wanna say that ur works>> literally AMAZING POOKIEE, all of them have sm thought n effort put into them and they all are detailed so nicely it's crazy🥲 but anyway rant over😞💞, I was wondering what emojis you have left for anons n if you'd be ok with me having one?, Again I'm new to asking stuff so I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense 😭💔

Much love, anon🩷

Hi love, aww don’t be scared of anything pls 🫶🏼 thank you so much 🥹🥹 I have the emoji list in my pinned post (all the way at the bottom) but ofc you can! Just pick one and let’s see if it’s free 🥰

[starjxsung]

hi star i hope you’re well 💕

Sorry but this is gonna be a rant-y message 😞 i hope that’s ok don’t feel obligated to read or respond - you creating this safe space is enough 🫶🫶🫶

atp im so done with the whole South Africa guy situation

the last three weeks he’s made me feel nothing but anxiety, worry, uncertainty, and worthlessness and I’m so over it.

He went back to fucking ghosting me again?! it’s like he hoped that after my trip i forgot about what he did right before and like things are fine like no fricken way dude

It’s sad cause I thought he was a decent guy but ig not lmao

anyways, Im moved on/moving on

using zootopia to escape (zootopia fan art to be posted/posted 🫣) the shitty headspace I’m in (also lowkey losing it after spending so much time with my family i love them but argh)

Anyways, i hope life is treating you super duper well cause you deserve it and more 💖

🌱 anon

:(((( I didn’t even realize there was a follow-up update and I’m so sad it’s so shitty :((( I am so so so sorry my baby you didn’t deserve any of the shit he put you through. There’s such an epidemic of men just using people and tearing them down under this guise of “not knowing what they want” and it’s so unfortunate he led you on for so long. Has he reached out again at all? If he does pls tell him to stay as far from me as possible bc I will BEATTTT HIS FUCKING ASS ONGGGGGG HE IS A LEWSERRRRRRR

I hope you’re finding ways to distract yourself in your free time (ZOOTOPIA BESTTT MOVIE BTW) and I have no doubt that eventually you’ll find the person you truly do deserve :’) I love you so so much. This is just the beginning of finding someone much better.

💓🫶❤️

[aluto-unchained]

shout out to the time I got really drunk at my friend's party and told that fucking guy that I hate that I hate his guts and keeping him around just so he can dickride me was getting boring. He wasn't very good at it anyway

insane rant incoming btw. i noticed his bio has "single (NOT LOOKING)" so I am feeling euphoric

I think he was wisening up or whatever but I told him that I thought his whole system thing was a coping mechanism because he couldn't hold down a meaningful relationship with anyone and so decided to pretend like he's rping with himself. again this dude told me he like developed a system at like 19 or whatever I don't know how that shit works but that's a leap. And then you tell me "btw your ocs are in here as fictives" duuude you fucking hated me and even still you wanted me. I hate this guy so much I genuinely only want to see him suffer 😃😃😃 he had me on PREORDER guys he got pissed when I got a bf because he WANTED me the SECOND my ex broke up with me i don't remember when he turned 18 but YEAH it was close to grooming ☺️☺️☺️

anyway I haven't talked to him since then so I'm fucking winning like I feel great because it's been however long since I've had to deal with his fucking antics. He's the type of person that I don't wish death on him bc it's too simple and quick I need him to feel as frightened and as terrible as possible for what he did to me so like YAY he got broken up with.

Oh quick thing he was talking to me about how ppl were saying he was a pedo/racist..... like a week before he was telling me some of his alters have a spade icon on the app he uses to keep track and like MAN .... (Apparently spade means black person??? I didn't know before he TOLD ME) and DON'T get me started he has an age play thing 🤢🤢🤢🤢 and race play 🤢🤢🤢😞😞😞😞 he will NEVER beat the allegations I hope he ROTS.

Oh sorry if this comes off as like. I don't believe in systems like i know they're a real thing but ...girl like what can they really just .. show up like that

Anyway go team sera!!!! Don't forget to smile 💯✨✨