#anyway I love orbulon so much

[bubblegum-gf]

love how rt has seemingly become obsessed with circles after losing his mind in minecraft, a game notable for being made of squares

[skillbattle]

ok mental illness taking over OUUGHGHHG i love the art direction of the first few games i think smooth moves was peak bc it added all the new characters plus the orignal artstyle and i know its the same artist for all of the games but i miss this style so bad WAUGHHHH

[freakartack]

What is your least favourite misconception or fan interpretation of the WarioWare cast?

And/or do you have a favourite headcanon the community has made for the cast?

Oooohhhh we are really going for the hot hot takes today huh. Just handing me the baseball bat like that

Well I suppose it had to come to this. I've been dancing around this for far too long. It's time for

TOP 10 FREAKATTACK HARDASS MOMENTS

NOTE: please do not open this if me shitting on popular headcanons will ruin your day. I don't generally care what people do with their life do what you want forever

OK with that out of the way it's time to get narsty. Many of these will be ship-related so if that will make you mad or bored just a heads up

1. MONA AND WARIO ARE IN LOVE

OK i lied you can't do this one forever. ENOUGH!! She is in HIGH SCHOOL and if you think she has to secretly be an adult just because she has a job and drives a scooter then not only have you never been to high school but you also have not been paying attention during any of Kat and Ana's cutscenes. "High schoolers don't usually drive that much" 5-year-olds don't usually trek the mountains high and kill people with swords but they do. I get when people get frustrated that almost all the girl characters in warioware are marketable kids, because that does kind of suck, but you can't just ignore that to get shippy about it. Cmon. "Wario was dreaming about her in that 1 microgame break" yeah, and I thought that was weird. I choose to read it as a non-romantic moment (since, again, he's old enough to be her dad), and the fact is that nothing like that has happened since. Yeah mona might think he's a hunka hunka but she has every right to! Doesn't mean they have to get married

2. MIKE AND ORBULON ARE IN LOVE

This one will stir far more pots/torches/pitchforks/etc. but since we're bringing out the fine china i might as well go all out. Here's my reasoning: Orbulon is 2000 years old. Mike is like 2. I'm not saying this one is Problematic (mike is a robot that can file taxes after all) but moreso that it is unrealistic. Picture this: You are orbulon, with all of your weird hangups and whatnot. Your buddy that fixes your car all the time and plays Go with you just had a robot son. Would you fall in love with him? Probably not. On the other end of the coin, you're the robot son now. Your inventor/employer/cyborg dad keeps inviting this weird animal into your house to study it. I don't think he would fall in love with that either. "I would," you say, "i'm built different." And more power to you. I just don't think they are.

3. LUIGI AND DAISY ARE MONA'S PARENTS

FINALLY, a non-shippy one! Anyways, since Get it Together came out, a lot of people took one blurry picture on the wall and the shape of mona's house to mean that Mona's House is actually Luigi's Mansion and that Luigi and Daisy had a child together 16 years ago and promptly abandoned it to play tennis. I think it is obvious by now that I don't think that's true. Not only has Mona described her parents extensively (one of them is an artist that is obsessed with noses, the other is a supermodel that travels the world), but neither of them are anything like Luigi and Daisy. "But what if Luigi is secretly obsessed with noses and Daisy is secretly a supermodel," you say. Okay. Then I think that Luigi cheated on Daisy with Peach, and had Rosalina together, because Peach and Rosalina both have blond hair and Luigi had a telescope once. Don't play games with me, Matthew. I know what you are.

4. PYORO IS INNOCENT

He's not

--------------------

OK now that all of that is out of the way, let's move on to the fun stuff. Top ten favorite things that people have said about warioware!!!

1. PENNY IS DR. CRYGOR'S CLONE

I first saw this thought expressed here, but I've seen many people continue the sentiment and I think it's beautiful. Penny Crygor is the good doctor's transgender lesbian clone whom we all love dearly.

2. ORBULON KNOWS WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH POLYBIUS BUT WON'T TELL ANYONE

Self-explanatory. Unfortunately the genius who thought of this one has since deactivated and the post is forever under an inaccessible read-more so this is the only evidence i have that it ever existed. You have to trust me on this one.

3. WARIO IS LIKE THEIR DAD

This isn't really a headcanon moreso a popular interpretation of the text but I do like to think that despite being a jackass he does genuinely care about all the weirdos he has racked up, including the many wayward children that have glommed onto him over the years. This is like every toxic "we're all a family here!" workplace, except that they actually are all a family here and it's toxic for unrelated reasons

[drops-of-moonlights]

Next with the redesigns we get to the WarioWare cast! which oh god there's so many people here what the fuck! anyways! Here we have basically the cast of the og with two from later games. The Warioware cast designs are peak so not a lot is changed, but hey, I still changed some things, so let's get to them! (shoutout to the official WarioWare website it was so useful!)

Mona and Joe are the easiest since they keep themselves more or less the same - still the deliverywoman extraordinaire and her lovable boss. Mona here like everyone else is a bit older - a college student, majoring in archaeology, and has upgraded from a scooter to a motorcycle (quite literally upgraded, Crygor took her scooter and turned it into a bike). Joe keeps himself more or less the same, except a bit afraid of losing the best employee he ever had.

The man with the beat Jimmy T and the silly lil alien, Orbulon! With the former I just added some stars on his pants and also gave him melanin, because frankly the bright colors work better with darker skintones and the Mario cast is pale as milk, some variety is nice. for Orbulon I just put him in his human disguise's cute little minidress, because we stan a gender-non-conforming king. Fun trivia: Jimmy has beef with Waluigi over who has the better dance moves. They get along otherwise but if there's dancing happening it is ON. SIGHT.

Diamond Taxi's speed demons, Dribble and Spitz! I similarly didn't change much, just more detail on shoes, Dribble wearing his coveralls differently, and their earrings, which are actually their wedding rings, because look at me in the eyes and tell me these two aren't fucking. that's right you can't. Spitz finally got to publish his novel! It's doing better than Dribble expected.

Mad Scientist and Beleaguered Karaoke Robot Assistant Duo, Crygor and Mike! The levels at which Crygor is a cyborg vary SO OFTEN I just gave him the full helmet, a robotic left hand and a robotic foot. Mike I only changed up a smidge and changing his face to an LED display for better emoting. Still Penny's loving grandfather, he's gently trying to steer her towards a focus on the mechanics rather than chemistry, believing that she can achiever her idol dreams without having to rely on questionable homemade beverages. Mike on the other hand encourages to focus more on chemistry out of the selfish desire she can make a drink that will give HIM a perfect singing voice lol.

Nintendo Fanatics 9-Volt and 18-Volt! For fun I gave them the real names of Nikola and Edison. Now middle schoolers, they still enjoy skating and Nintendo games. I did the same with 18-Volt as what I did with Jimmy T. 9-Volt's helmet is more clearly a firefighter helmet - it's his dad's old model that he gifted to him.

And to finish it off, Kat and Ana! I wanted both of them to have more unique color palletes, and as a further distinction Kat has freckles. Like the rest they're a bit older, now elementary-school kids, and while he's not in this post they also get along a LITTLE better with Leo.

[freakattack]

What do you think of Ko Takeuchi as an illustrator anyway? Do you blame him for WarioWare getting normalpilled?

LOL well either way I can't be too mad at him considering that he is the one responsible for the original lightning-in-a-bottle designs in the first place (IIRC he's been the sole credited character designer since Mega Microgrames). Truly we'll never know if the Normalbobification of warioware was a personal stylistic choice on Takeuchi's part or a push from more marketing-minded suits behind the scenes, and we will likely never know because of people like me who are fucking insane about it. I will beat a dead horse and say that his same-face syndrome for women specifically is really bad. But, to his credit, and despite the depressing new art direction of the series, his more painterly character art from Get It Together is nothing short of gorgeous:

(Yes i chose the only long orbulon in the batch DON'T look at me.)

So, overall, I don't think he's a BAD artist. The fact that I like a lot of his work actually makes the overhaul even more painful; he COULD make everyone look weird and greasy again, it would be so easy for him to make everyone look weird and greasy again. This one isn't solely an art style thing, so I'm kind of derailing here, but how did we go from this:

To this:

It just ain't right!!

But, on the other side of the coin, as much as I have qualms with the new art style and some of the changes in characterization of a lot of our guys (not just Orbulon, I think Crygor and Jimmy got hit too), I do really really love that more focus has been put on their characterization at all. Hell, Warioware Move It is basically a cartoon episode disguised as a game. That's fun as hell! From the fully-voiced Gold to the saga of Get It Together, it feels like they are really making the most of the awesome cast of weirdos at their disposal - and they always have, but now instead of all the fun stuff being relegated to websites and manuals, it's taking center stage. Something I love about warioware is just how much love the crew seems to have for these characters, and it's nice that that's still evident no matter what they look like.

[superbellsubways]

consider your bogos binted! 👽

[freakartack]

Hey there! I love the Spotify Playlists you made for the WarioWare characters! The music you choose for them fits so well, and there's some deep cuts to boot! Actually, I wanted to request a song to add to Mike's Playlist. Have you heard the song "Life Is a Rock, But the Radio Rolled Me" by Reunion? I feel like it'd be a perfect song for him, but lemme know what you think! Thanks in advance!

MESSAGE TO THE AUDIENCE: PLEASE DON'T SUGGEST A BUNCH OF SONGS AFTER I ANSWER THIS i'm sure they're all lovely but i'm extremely anal-retentive and I don't want to hurt your feelings when i inevitably disagree with one of them

MESSAGE TO YOU: Thank you!! I never make character playlists but those are like my pride and joy so I am delighted to hear that you like em. My guidelines for songs to add is that it has to a) be lyrically relevant to their character AND b) be something they would actually enjoy. (My only exception, sadly, is that I have to overlook lyrics that talk about romance and whatnot. It's just too unavoidable. So know that those don't mean anything other than "they dig this song!") As a result, I try to tie the song suggestions to Official Wario Media as much as possible; for example, Dribble and Spitz have songs that reference both Tomorrow Hill and Drifting Away, while also being the kind of dad rock that they would likely play in their car. Many other characters, including Mona, Orbulon, and Ashley, have song choices that fit with their records in WarioWare D.I.Y.; Mona loves electronic remixes of classical music, Orbulon loves experimental music with weird sound effects, and Ashley loves chintzy synthpop. In Mike's case, I based his fixation on 50's rock n' roll on the smash remix of his song, which you might think is cheating or wrong, but I personally think that that remix is how he thjnks he sounds in his head. Plus, in his debut appearance his audience is quite literally doing the bunny hop, so I think it's only a little bit of a stretch.

ANYWAY, that was a lot of words to say that this song is EXTREMELY mike, both because of the subject matter and musicality but also because the monotone motormouth singing is extremely on par for him. The actual music sounds very 70s (because it is), which is honestly fitting for most warioware characters. This series is such a love letter to disco that I associate all of them with that era. As soon as I get off my lazy ass I will definitely give it to him! Thank you for this astute suggestion!

[freakattack]

Now that i have played every warioware game with multiplayer on it its time for me to do what i do best: Make a list

MEGA PARTY GAMES: The zenith of the wario multiplayer experience. So much to see so much to do. You can play as the characters and you can use them to be a shit head to people. Its very energetic, fun, silly, you can do a little dance if you really want to. It's the same micorgames as the ones in the first game which some poeple dont like but IDC because i have played the game and i love it and everyone else i have played this game with has never played the first one so it doesnt even matter. Im sure this was a bigger issue in 2004 but it's not 2004 so we're good.

GAY MAN WARIO: THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN A LAUNCH TITLE FOR THE WII U. i never will stop saying this it would have changed history. This multiplayer experience was actuaklly a little disappointing cause hteres only 4 game modes (as opposed to mega party games' 8) but hte ones that are there are super fun, I STILL havent played survival yet but sketch (pictionary) and fruit (proto-amongus) are extremely fun and havent yet gotten old even for people who dont have wario diseases in their brains. I wish i could have been around for miiverse sketch. C'est la vie

GET IT TOGETHER: This was actually the first wario ware game i ever played. Isnt that fucked up? Ignoring the fact that orbulon is a little eraser nubbin, the multiplayer is pretty good. i enjoy the fact that you can play with a second player in the story mode and there are a whole bunch of multiplayer-only modes to choose from. Unfortunately most of these are limited to 2 players which makes it hard when you have a group but the 4 player ones that are there are pretty fun too. I liek that you can beat people up in this one.

SMOOTH MOVES: I like smooth moves but the multiplayer here is laughable sorry. it's on the whole ass Wii but the only modes it has are just different flavors of passing around a single wii remote and taking turns playing microgames, which you could just do with the single player levels anyways. the visuals with the miis are funny though. I also havent played this with people in a hot minute (because the multiplayer is so lacking) but hte one where at the end youre like, tied up hanging from a tree over a crocodile pit and you take turns cutting ropes until someone falls and dies? That ones my favorite i think.

MEGA MICROGAMES: This is barely multiplayer but i'm including it anwyays because it's so funny. Have you ever wanted to share half a gameboy with someone? Have i got the game for you. I will give it credit though it was probably a fun time killer for long car rides or playdates in the pre-iphone era. God we should go back to that. No more internet no more iphone we are going to play the jimmy t roomba game