#anyway - i'm going to read a couple of fanfics i've noticed maybe finish watching the bear s3 clear my mind a bit

[rapha-reads]

To those of you wondering (aka no one), I finished both The Vampire Armand and Merrick and I have a lot of thoughts and feels. I'm skipping Blood and Gold for now to go directly to Blackwood Farm (I'll read B&G later), but first I'm going to read something else, just to take a break.

TVA thoughts: man, Armand is messed up. And extremely compelling. But so messed up. As always, the theme of faith crisis, which seriously reaches new heights with these bitchy vampires, is not something I can fully immerse myself in, but it was fascinating to see his numerous metamorphosis. I liked how he bridges Western and Eastern Christianisme, especially through art. Now I'm thinking that if Rolin Jones makes him originally Muslim in the show, that could expand even more the conversation on how faith, and especially Abrahamic faith, has been in conversation for thousands of years and could be such a rich, diverse and spiritual, intellectual and artistic theme. I can already imagine some fascinating discussions comparing (not in a superior way but in a complementary way) coming from Muslim faith to Roman Catholic faith, the way book!Armand talks about the richness of his life in Kiev Rus despite the poverty and ascetism, and the richness of his life in Venecia despite the luxury and abundance.

As for Benamin and Sybille... I don't have much thoughts about them. Sybille is one of those female characters AR seemingly favors, not so much human as a nymph or a dryad, "perfectly splendid". And Benji is a caricature of an Arab child. Nuance? 401 not found.

Merrick thoughts: David for the love if everything, shut. The. Fuck. Up. Holy moly. I like David, I do, but damn the entire recollection of his history with Merrick was looooooong. I'm here to see Louis haunted by Claudia and haunting Lestat's coma, not how hard you're pining for the kid you practically raised! Also. ALSO. You're just going to leave that whole thing with the Olmec or possibly another more ancient Mesoamerican civilisation without ever giving us more? That was the most interesting part of it all! The vodoo history, the connection between Louisiana and Caribbean vodoo and old Native South-American religions! More about this, less about Merrick's perfect breasts, I am begging you. (It is at this point that the reader of this post realises OP is 100% definitely ace and more interested in books and witchcraft than breasts and whether a 70yo man can still get it up - also, hey, Anne Rice's vampires are practically asexual and their lust and pleasure is mostly derivated from blood, with some notable exceptions like Armand and Marius, and a love relationship between two vampires is then based on romantic love and blood sharing, so can I hear a hell yeah for some ace representation or are we still conflating eroticism with sex)

Another thing I kept thinking about throughout the book is how Louis is perceived by his fellow vampires. Since basically the second book, since we've lost his own POV, everybody who's ever said anything about him (so Lestat, Armand and David) have insisted on two points: how very weak and meek Louis is, and also how irresistible, beautiful and charming. Granted, I've known Louis first through his portrayal on the show (hi Jacob you're so fiiiiiiine), and then through his own narration in the first book, but I've never had the impression that he was weak. Beautiful and seductive, yes. Weak? I see a human man going through tragedies and still enduring, going through vampiric transformation and then suffering for decades the loss of his humanity, struggling with reconciliating both sides of himself, but mostly I see a vampire who rebuilt himself after losing everything without sacrificing his sense of self. I see Louis as very strong actually (up to the point where resilience breaks, because resilience cannot be sustained on a long term, but that's another debate). He knows who he is, and don't you know how hard that is? He doesn't cling to faith or pride. He knows he's doomed, he knows he's monstrous, he knows there's nothing he can do to change that, and instead of railing against his fate, he goes on about his undead life. He gets his books and he reads them, he surrounds himself with literature and what little comforts he thinks in his shattered self-esteem he deserves (his ragged sweaters and soft trousers); let's not lie to ourselves tho, Louis doesn't like himself, or more exactly he doesn't care about his corporeal body - what matters to him is his mind, and once again, this author is extremely ace and also very aro and very nonbinary, so Louis to me is very much ace and agender coded, though really not aro, because his love for Lestat (and sometimes his fondness, shall we say, for Armand) is the only thing that can rouse him up from his literary slumber.

...

Oh, man, I have a lot to say about Louis, for how little he appears in the books so far. Still have BF, BC and the PL trilogy to devour. So I guess you can say, for as much as Lestat is occupying my entire brain, very much like him, my favorite is Louis? Yeah, that tracks. Melancholy, quiet, dark-haired green-eyed monster with more humanity than humans, preferring his solitude and the company of books to anyone else, hopelessly and helplessly devoted to one person, expert in brooding and grieving, literature specialist, not very attached to his physical self. Yeah. I'm not surprised.

[peacheswatts]

Opening up

A fanfic written by me

Based on: the Punishers Frank Castle

Genre : romance (male + female)

Wattapad link:

I had moved into my new apartment almost a week ago. Focusing on unpacking, organising and getting comfortable, I hadn't noticed how good looking the neighbour across the hall was. I saw him leaving his apartment this morning, wearing a black hoodie, dark jeans and combat boots. He was tall, about 6'3, fit and muscular. You could could tell his frame that he took care of himself, and he had really good posture. He had his head down, and earphones in. I tried to smile at him to say hi, but he didn't notice.

Oh well.

He walked down the stairs and out the front door and I got those familiar butterflies I get when I see someone really attractive. 'oof' I thought.

'Focus Emily' I reminded myself, Youre going to be late for work.

It was about midday, I was on the late shift today. I hated the late shift. This neighbourhood wasn't great and walking home at night was always pretty scary. I always put my keys between my fingers, and I had a small knife in my bag, but I don't have a very big frame.

As I left my apartment I couldn't help but think about my new neighbour. What was his story anyway? I kind of like the idea of a mysterious handsome neighbour. He probably has a girlfriend anyway, he's too cute to be single. A girl can daydream though right.

Before I knew it I was at work. I do data entry for a law firm most days and sometimes I pick up a shift at a diner on nights when the owner needs help. I don't mind working it keeps me busy. I don't know anyone in this neighbourhood so I get pretty bored. Tonight I was working at the diner. The lunch rush had just started and I spent the better part of the next three hours taking orders, filling up coffee cups and busting tables. I keep to myself mostly, but I'm friendly with customers and the boss is really nice. She's an older woman, about 50, and she calls me sweetheart which I don't mind.

Around 9 pm, an hour before my shift finishes, the bell rings as the door to the diner opens. Someone comes in and sits down at a booth. I'm facing the kitchen and I grab my notepad and walk over. They are wearing a black hoodie, dark jeans and combat boots. 'could this be?' I thought quickly to myself.

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I walked towards the booth and saw that it was my neighbour.

"Hi! What can I get you?" I said cheerfully

"Just coffee. Black" He answered, not looking up.

"Okay, I'll be right back"

I poured him a cup, and set a menu down Infront of him "the food is really good here" I offered with a small smile. I started to walk away and the mysterious man spoke up. "What do you recommend?" He asked flatly.

"Well, around this time I like to have pancakes." I replied, happy that he was talking to me.

"Yeah, okay. Pancakes".

"Okay!" I stated and walked away.

A small smile crept on his lips as he looked out the window.

He finished his pancakes just my shift was about to finish. It was 10pm and the nervousness I usually feel around now started. I hate walking home this late.

I put my apron out the back, said goodbye to the chef and Rose, the owner, and got my bag from under the counter.

"Hey, uh, you live in my building right?" A mans voice spoke up.

It made me jump a little I was in my own world. "Yeah I think so" I replied, trying not to let this stranger know that I was daydreaming about him earlier.

"Can I walk you home?" He offered, as he pulled down his hood. I saw that he had a beard and dark brown almost black hair. It looked like it has been growing out for a couple months. "it's a pretty bad neighbourhood, we are going the same way anyway."

"Uh yeah okay" thankful of the company, and maybe I'd get to know him a little bit better.

We walked towards our apartment building together, he didn't say anything and I didn't want to press conversation if he wasn't much of a talker.

We walked past a homeless man sitting on the ground against a building, who asked for same change. I stopped and handed him a couple dollars and he said "Thanks lady". I noticed he had a dog companion and I asked if he needed dog food. "No thank you, we are fine, thanks though" he reassured me.

The neighbour watched this interaction from the sidelines, looking curious. "That was decent of you", he commented as we walked away.

"Uh yeah" I replied, feeling a bit uncomfortable about the comment.

"People in this city usually ignore people like that", He stated.

"That sucks. He's a person too. And he has a dog. They are good companions when you're on the street, but it can be hard to afford food for both of you sometimes" I blurted out. Did I say too much? I usually keep my cards close to my chest, but something about this guy makes me want to get to know him. Maybe he's just a pretty face and I've been alone too long.

My companion looked a bit curious at the obvious concern my face was showing, but didn't ask any questions. He sure was a quiet one.

We made it to our building and he opened the door for me. We walked up the stairs and I put the key in my apartment door.

"When is your next shift at the diner?" He asked

I was surprised at the question, wary but curious. "Why?" I asked suspiciously, maybe a little too harshly.

My harshness made him smile a small smile, "My name is Frank, I like the coffee and pancakes at your diner, and this is a bad neighbourhood. Do you want company walking home after your next shift?" He offered, a tad flatly.

"Uh yeah, okay. I have a shift tomorrow night that finishes at 11:00. I do get kinda scared walking home on my own. Thank you" I looked at his face and he looked a little concerned.

"I'm Emily" I offered my hand out to him and he took it. His hand was big and rough, and it was kind of sexy. We shook hands and smiled at each other. "Goodnight Frank" I said as I opened my door.

"Night" I heard him mumble as he walked through his.

I closed my door and took a second to think about what an interesting night I've had. I had a quick shower and hopped into bed. 'Frank' I thought to myself, huh.

---

Thanks to anyone who read this! I have more chapters on my wattapad, I'd love to hear comments for this. I've never written anything before and I've had this idea floating around my head for a long time!!