#anything. i just know Catholics dont really support divorce and such. so yeah. thats all it is my dudes

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Warnings: allusions to abuse. Not against steve or Eddie but against both of their mothers. Other than that this is sweet i promise. Also just realized it's mothers day so... this is possibly awkward, possibly fitting. Take care my lovelies.

Steve had always loved the rain. Not storms, necessarily. But the rain. The pitter patter of drops on the roof. And the street. And the leaves in the trees. The surface of his pool on unnaturally warm spring day. The way the drops felt cold and tingly on warm skin. Steve loved it all.

Loved sitting with his feet in the pool, dangling over the edge, into the water, as he let the rain soak him through. Let his shirt stick to his skin as rain drops dripped from his hair into his eyes.

His mother had started his love for it. Always jumping in puddles with him on their way to the car in the grocery store parking lot. Both of them laughing as they held hands and ran and jumped, splashing their clothes and soaking their shoes and not caring at all for the mess they were making of themselves.

Steve missed those days. Missed his mother being happy. Her warm smile keeping the chill of the rain away. Steve supposed sitting in the rain, and watching it fall across the top of the water, was his way of bringing those feelings back.

But deep down. He'd always wished for someone to share this with. He'd tried with Nancy. And she was no priss, really she wasn't, obviously. But when he'd asked her to walk in the rain with him once, she'd given him this look. Like she'd thought he was crazy. Or ridiculous. Or just being weird, dumb, Steve.

He hadn't asked again.

But he'd wanted too. So many times. Of so many people. He was sure Robin would love it too. But he hadn't been brave enough to ask yet.

And then there was Eddie. They'd been dancing around something for what was probably close to a year now. There was an ache in Steve's chest everytime it rained. Longing to walk out into the rain, hold his hand out to Eddie, and ask him to take it.

But he was scared. And he was trying to come to terms with that fear. And that ache. When he heard the door open behind him. He heard a few stumbled footsteps and jingling chains, and hung his head a bit, smiling into his lap.

Eddie.

It was movie night. Steve had forgotten, lost in the rain.

He should get up. Go inside. Dry off so they can start whatever movie  Eddie had brought to lecture him on tonight. Steve would roll his eyes, but he loved listening to Eddie talk about things he loved. Loved all the little details he added, fun facts he knew that Steve never would have found out on his own.

He plants his hands to stand just as Eddie plops himself down next to Steve. Shoes removed somewhere behind them, jeans folded up a bit around his shins. Eddie lowers his feet into the water easily, taking care, ridiculously, not to splash, and turns to look at Steve with that fucking smile.

"Great weather right?" He asks, genuine delight dripping from his lips, and shinning in his eyes. Steve feels like he's flying a bit to close to the sun, the way Eddie shines. He just nods, bites his lip and looks into his lap again. Eddie knocks his shoulder into Steve's.

"Why ya sittin in the rain Steve?" He asks, still sounding happy, no judgment, and to Steve's suprise, no worry.

"I just like the rain." He says, easy. No lies. Not with Eddie. He's been making an effort to only tell Eddie the truth... about most things. He feels more than sees Eddie nod beside him.

"Me too. Love it. Nothin quite like sittin in the rain." He says, easy. Bumps into Steve again, he's swaying a bit now, side to side. Gentle as you please. It's a thing he does. Steve finds it hypnotizing in the best way.

"Yeah." Steve says dumbly, internally kicks himself. Eddie huffs a laugh next him as their shoulders collide again.

"Ya know," he leans closer, stops his swaying for a moment. His eyes focused on Steve, bangs dripping water down his face. Steve blinks rapidly, trying to focus on what Eddie is about to say, and not on the jealousy he feels for the raindrops slowly moving over Eddie's skin.

"I used to climb onto the roof of the trailer when it rained. Just lay there. Eyes on the sky." He glanced up, squinting into the rain and then looking back to Steve with a small smile, his 'just for Steve' smile.

"Drove Wayne crazy. He worries." Eddie tilted his head, the 'Bless him.' heavily implied in his tone. Steve snorts.

"I wonder why." He says, voice dry. Eddie's eyes move his face quickly, before he laughs and sways away again.

"That's fair. I did almost get struck by lightning once." Eddie muses, then rounds on Steve suddenly, eyes wide, finger pointing accusingly.

"Don't, tell him that." He's using his serious face, it makes Steve smile.

"I wouldn't dare." He holds his hand over his heart.

"Scouts honor." He says, holding his other hand up. Eddie leans back a bit, looks Steve up and down, wipes water out of his eyes before looking away again.

"You would have been a scout." Eddie shakes his head, rolls his eyes, but he smiling that smile again.

"Four years. Yeah. It wasn't horrible." Steve concedes, shrugging, and he sighs softly at the feeling of his wet shirt tugging on his shoulders.

They're silent for a long moment. Both of them just sitting, watching the rain. Eddie rocking back and forth absent-mindedly next to him now, his feet gently kicking back and forth in the water.

"My mom used to jump in puddles with me. In the store parking lot. And once out there," Steve points out over the pool, into the back yard, Eddie leans closer, his eyes following where Steve's pointing.

"We ended up covered in mud. Both of us laughing so hard we could barely breathe. Dad wasn't home so the mess didn't matter. We were just having fun. I miss her being fun." Steve hadn't meant to say that part, not really. But it had slipped, his cheeks heating a bit. But Eddie didn't even stumble over the confession.

"Why isn't she fun anymore? Cuz'a him?" Eddie asks, like it's easy, this thing Steve hates to talk about, and think about. He swallows, hard, and nods. Sees Eddie nod back, a sad smile on his lips now, until they quirk to the side, his scarred cheek pulling up a bit as he makes his thinking face.

"She could leave him? Take you too." Eddie says, and it's a question. He's prodding, a bit, always curious. Steve takes a deep breathe, straightening his back as he breathes deep.

"Sorry. None of my business." Eddie shakes his head once, his hair so thoroughly soaked now that it barely moves on his shoulders.

"No it's okay. I just," he pauses, takes another deep breath, thinking.

"I think she's stuck. Like... she can't leave." Steve shakes his head too, wipes at his face, moving the water out of his eyes, off his nose where it's tickling.

"Catholic?" Eddie asks, easy. And Steve stares at him.

No one had asked that before. Or mentioned it. People always being nosy and presumptuous, saying if she really cared about herself, or for Steve, that she would just go. But it wasn't that simple. And Steve had never been able to explain it very well.

But Eddie had explained it fine. With one word. A knowing look in his eyes. Steve suddenly remembers all the things he's heard about Eddie's dad, how he's never heard much about his mom, and his stomach sinks, his throat catching on the fire gathering there.

Steve nods. Eddie nods back. Smiles that small smile into his lap again.

"People don't understand some things. Ya know?" Eddie asks, bumping into Steve again. He sways away once more and Steve follows, presses his shoulder to Eddie's firmly. Eddie stills, let's him lean there.

"And ya know what?" He looks at Steve, eyes peeking out under his dripping bangs.

"What?" Steve asks, his palms and fingers itching, wanting to reach out and touch Eddie. To wipe the water from his eyes. To tuck his hair behind his ear. To hold his hand. Maybe kiss him a little.

"It's none of their fucking business. You know your mom. You know what she was like. How she cared for you. You'll always have those memories. Ya know? I mean, if you don't have anything else." He shrugs, leans his weight into Steve's shoulder, comforting. Steve closes his eyes, tries to think of something to say to the gift Eddie's just given him.

Because he's right. She's Steve's mother. She loved him. Always. And whatever else she was, or how she acted, was none of anyone's business. Steve had his mother. His memories of her. Her warm smile, and bubbly laugh. She was his. No matter how his father changed her, or kept her away. She was Steve's. Always Steve's. Maybe only ever his. God knows she wasn't his father's, probably never had been.

He realizes he's been sitting, not saying anything, Eddie still firmly pressed against him. Silent. Letting Steve process, or grieve, or whatever he assumed Steve might doing. He was just letting him do it, and supporting him, in more ways than one.

"Did your mom like the rain?" He asks, finally breaking the silence. And it's the right question. Because it makes Eddie laugh. A good. Genuine. Proper laugh. His head tilted back, face to the sky, basking in the rain falling on them. He sighs, looks back to Steve.

"She fuckin loved the rain. I guess that's were I got it. Wayne use to mutter 'just like your mother' everytime he had to dry me off when I was little and out puddle hopping like a violent frog." He makes a little sound in his throat, sounds exactly like the bullfrogs Steve used to hear at the lake and a laugh bursts out of him. Eddie's answering, crooked smile, is dazzling. Steve longs to reach out and touch those dimples.

"Wanna see what she used to do to me?" Eddie asks, his voice quiet now, he sounds a bit shy, so Steve leans closer, nods, his eyes glued to Eddie's face.

He doesn't have time to wonder if the shyness was real, or a ruse to get him close, but it didn't matter. Because once he was close, a mischievous glint tinted Eddie's eyes and Steve knew he'd made a mistake.

"She did this." He said around a smirk and shook his head violently side to side. His hair throwing water like a shaking dog. A few wet strands smack Steve in the face and he startles back, or tries too. But he forgets they're on the edge of the pool and his hand misses the ledge as he sways back and then promptly falls into the water.

When he surfaces again Eddie is cackling, holding his hands over his stomach as he looks at Steve. His eyes bright. The water is warm, the rain cold on Steve's shoulders as he stands, forces himself to glare at Eddie, even as a smile tugs at his lip. He stalks toward Eddie, slowed by the drag of the water. Eddie smile drops.

"No no no no no! Steven don't you dare!" He shrieks, but Steve notes, he makes no effort to get away, aside from leaning back a little. Steve grabs Eddie's waist swiftly and tosses him into the water.

He comes up sputtering. Hair flat around his head. He looks like a drowned rat. Or one of the fluffy cats that gets wet and looks miseral and skinny and grumpy. Eddie lifts his hands and then drops them again.

"I said no. I did say no, yeah?" He says, then asks, squinting at Steve through the water from the pool and the water from the rain.

"No yeah, you did. I just didn't listen." Steve shrugs, laughs, falls back into the water and then goes under, opens his eyes and looks at Eddie standing there. He watches him wiggle his toes against the bottom of the pool, it makes him look nervous. So Steve swims forward, gets as close as he can to Eddie, until Eddie backs away a bit, and then he resurfaces. Eddie's hands are held up in front of him.

"Don't splash me." He warns, hands lowering into the water.

"I splash back. That's the only warning you get!" He warns, hands flicking water at Steve, who just smiles.

"We're already wet Eds." He rolls his eyes, snorts when Eddie lowers his hands.

"Oh. Right. Duh." Eddie scoffs, mostly at himself. Steve stands, shakes his head the way Eddie had, throwing water into the boys face. When he opens his eyes and Eddie is flinching, sputtering out water dramatically, dragging a hand down his face.

"Very funny. You're a natural." Eddie says, voice dry. He's got that cute grumpy cat look going again and Steve can't help it. Can't stop himself.

He steps forward. Into Eddie's space. And presses his lips gently against Eddie's. He doesn't kiss back. Just makes a small startled noise in his throat. But he doesn't pull away. Steve does. Thinks maybe he read this all wrong. He opens his eyes and sees how red Eddie is, and knows he didn't misread anything.

"You okay?" He breathes.

"Mhm. What-" Eddie's voice breaks, he clears his throat, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck.

"W-what was that for?" He asks, his eyes locked on the water between them. Steve shrugs.

"Because I wanted to. That alright?" Steve asks, ducking his head to try and get Eddie to look at him. Eddie blinks, hard, and brings his eyes up, meeting Steve's. He nods. Doesn't say anything.

Steve moves, wraps his arm around Eddie's waist and pulls him close. Eddie makes a little high pitched noise in his throat when their chests meet and it drives Steve a little wild. But it also makes him realize what's happening. With Eddie. He's never done this.

"I can show you how. We can go slow." Steve breathes between them, his free hand lifting, dragging his fingertips over Eddie's cheek, touching the scar there gently, trying to convey everything he's been feeling for months into the touch.

Eddie whines, leans into the touch, pressing his cheek into Steve's palm. Snuggling closer like the cat he is. Steve smiles, cradles Eddie's face with his hands. Eddie's hands move to his hips, Steve can feel him trembling.

"I've got you." Steve breathes. Eddie nods, his mouth falling open just so before he surges forward and kisses Steve again. Their second kiss. Eddie's second kiss ever. Steve is so sure.

It starts frantic, Eddie's lips crashing against his. But he immediately loses his confidence and just, stands there, lips pressed to Steve's. Steve almost laughs into, but catches himself, doesn't wanna scare Eddie or hurt him, not now that he's just got him.

So Steve breathes through his nose and moves. Moves his hands to Eddie's hips and holds him steady. Moves his lips gently against Eddie's, slowly, until Eddie gets the memo and follows his lead.

It's clumsy, and awkward, and Eddie's palms are hot on Steve's shoulders where he's holding on for dear life. And it's completely and utterly intoxicating. Steve pulls back first, just a bit, to breathe. Eddie sways, his lips chasing Steve's. Steve catches him around the waist, keeps him still. Smiles at him when he blinks heavily, his eyes opening slowly, to look at Steve.

"Did-" he stops, his cheeks going an impossibly deeper shade of red, nearly matching the scar on his cheek. Steve soothes his thumb over said scar. Widens his eyes, letting Eddie know he's listening.

"Did I do that okay?" He asks, his face scrunching up. Steve nods, pulls Eddie's head down a bit, presses a kiss to his forhead.

"You did it perfect." Steve says, nods. Kisses him again. Soft and sweet.

"Movie?" Steve asks, head resting against Eddie's. Eddie nods, his breathing slowing a bit as Steve holds him, his thumb rubbing small circles into Eddie's hip.

"Yes. Yeah. Movie sounds great." Eddie agrees, nodding. Steve smiles, takes Eddie's hand and leads him up the steps out of the pool, their fingers tangled together as the rain poured around them.

Steve gets them dry clothes, and a pile of blankets. And later, when they're tangled together underneath them, legs and hands entwined, Steve's hand in Eddie's still damp hair.

He glances away from the movie, and out the window, smiling as he watches the rain fall, his chest warm with the feeling of finally having someone to love the rain with. He drifts off, the sound of Eddie's deep, sleeping breaths against his chest, lulling him into a peaceful sleep. And he dreams, of raindrops catching in Eddie's lashes as they dance in the rain, spinning through puddles with mud on their feet and warmth in their hearts.