#anything below about 15c and I stop working

[squidsinashirt]

When one works in the business I do, Penelope, I’m afraid it is totally normal… (;

He’s upgraded that tux at least three times now. I’m afraid to ask what he’s put on it, he’s just waiting for the next willing victim to try it. You never know, you might get a flame throwing, missile launching, invisibility cloaking fascinator… which you would love.

Bullet holes really do ruin a perfectly tailored fascinator. The nerve of some people.

[tentativetitan]

A Fireman Rescuing a Kitten is Totally Cliche

“Titan!!” Eren yelled, dashing toward the open door of his balcony where the small black cat was teetering over the rail. Unfortunately; the three month old kitten was more interested in the birds chirping on the branches of the tree below than listening to Eren and promptly pounced, just out of Eren’s reach.

Eren’s heart stopped as he watched his kitten fly through the air, missing the first set of branches just below the balcony, but luckily catching himself just a few branches below.  

“Oh my god!!! Titan, are you okay???” Eren screamed, as though the cat would actually answer. “Stay right there. I’m coming!” he yelled, wide eyes scanning the tree below. The top branches much too flimsy for him to climb onto, he’d end up falling the three floors to his death and his poor kitten would still be stuck, death gripped to the tree.

Instead, Eren rushed out of his apartment, running down the stairs three at a time and nearly knocking out Mrs. Pixis from 15C as he barreled out the building doors.

“Titan!” Eren called, relieved to find the small kitten still safely secured to the branch, only to realize that the bottom 10ft of the tree had been trimmed bare. Of course they were, all the trees near the sidewalk were trimmed this way, but how the hell was Eren going to get titan out of the tree??

“I’m coming for you. Don’t worry!” Eren said, tangling his fingers in his long brown hair as he tried to think. He could try to climb the tree, though without anything to grab beside the trunk, that was not going to work. He would try to coax Titan to jump, but the poor little kitten looked too terrified to move with her puffed fur and claws digging into the branch; there was no way he would jump.

Eren looked around frantically, looking for anything he could push up against the tree to help him climb.  

Nothing.

Why did no one leave things laying around?!? This was an emergency!

Eren’s eyes landed on the public garbage bin as the wheels turned in his brain. He couldn’t move it, it was connected to the sidewalk, but it was only 5ft or so from the tree… maybe he could jump?

There was only one way to find out…

~~~~LEVIi~~~~

“You know there’s a perfectly good grocery store like three minutes from the station, right?” Levi said, rolling his eyes as Hanji took a left down a narrow street, much too small for the large firetruck she was driving.

“I like the one by my house,” Hanji shrugged.

“You mean you like the little strawberry blond cashier at the one by your house,” Levi scoffed.

“Maybe I like the cute cashier at that particular grocery store, or maybe they have great deals on and their produce is fresh. The station needs groceries, what’s it matter where we get them?” Hanji laughed.

“Whatever you say,” Levi rolled his eyes before letting out a small laugh and turning back to the window.

“What the hell is that?? Hanji, pull over!” Levi demanded, barely even waiting for the truck to stop before jumping out and hurrying over to the obviously crazy man, now standing on top of the bin.

“Excuse me,” Levi said, now noticing that the man was dressed in nothing more than a pair of boxer shorts and a small t-shirt. Levi’s acknowledgement of the man seemed to give him a start, causing him to spin toward Levi and slipping off of the bin in the process.

Luckily Levi had amazing reflexes and managed to partially catch the man before he hit the hard sidewalk. “Are you alright sir?” he asked, only to find himself mere inches from the most beautiful green eyes he had ever seen.

It was then Levi really noticed the man in his arms, not only did his eyes sparkle like the ocean on a calm day, but the rest of his features were far too beautiful to exist on a single person. His straight nose, his high cheekbones, his flawless tan skin. Not to mention the perfectly taunt muscles showing beneath the tight fabric of his “clothes”.

“I’m sorry!! My cat! I can’t reach him!” The man said, frantically looking between Levi and the tree. “Can you give me a boost??” he asked, his eyes filled with desperation.

“How about I use my ladder?” Levi said, motioning behind him to the big red firetruck. He would never admit it out loud, especially not to Hanji; but the look of relief and the happy smile that spread over the strangers face filled his entire body with warmth.

“Really? Thank you so much!!” The man said, taking a step back and watching as Levi made his way back to the firetruck.

~~~~EREN~~~~

Eren couldn’t believe his luck, he had jumped off of the garbage bin four times already and had only managed to scrape up his knees. Now suddenly, his knight in shining armor appeared; a fireman with a ladder.

He watched as the man positioned the ladder up to the tree and began to climb toward Eren’s terrified kitten. He jumped for joy when Titan was secured in the Fireman’s arms and on the way down to him.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou, you have no idea how scared I was. He jumped off my balcony, I’m lucky he actually caught the branch!” Eren said as the man handed the kitten over gently.

“It happens, glad I could help,” The Fireman smiled, “Though you should probably go inside before you get arrested for public indecency,” he laughed.  

It was in that moment that Eren realized that he was standing in the street, speaking to what he now noticed to be an extremely attractive fireman; in his underwear and slippers…

“Oh fuck,” Eren said, wishing for lightening to strike him down as his face burned with heat.

“No big deal, at least the kitten is safe,” The fireman said, reaching up to scratch under Titan’s chin.

“I really can’t thank you enough,” Eren said, his heart melting over how cute the Fireman looked petting the kitten. Actually, the Fireman was cute even without the kitten… he was so short and petite, yet strong. His sharp features and dark hair made him absolutely gorgeous and Eren couldn’t decide if he was more cute or sexy… either way, he was starting to question if this was really happening or if he was still upstairs, asleep in his bed.

“It was no trouble; I was glad to help. I should get back, we’re on a grocery run for the station.” The Fireman said and Eren’s eyes flickered to the brunette watching them from the truck with a wide grin on her face.

Eren nodded, turning back to the shorter man. He wanted to keep talking to him but he was also very aware that he was still in his underwear. “Yeah… I need to go put on some pants…” he said sheepishly, his heart racing as the beautiful man smiled.

~~~~LEVI~~~~

“Heard about you’re little detour this morning,” Erwin said, a knowing grin on his face as he leaned against the locker beside Levi’s.

“Aren’t we supposed to help the public? Firefighters rescuing cats from trees is a cliché for a reason,” Levi said, refusing to meet the taller man’s eyes.

“That is true, I’m glad you helped a citizen in need. Especially one so good looking,” Erwin said.

“I’m going to murder Hanji,” Levi growled, slamming the locker door shut.

“She may have mentioned it, though I never really believe anything until I see it with my own two eyes,” Erwin shrugged while Levi gave him an incredulous look.

“He’s waiting for you downstairs. Unfortunately, he’s wearing pants, though I’m sure you can remedy that later,” Erwin grinned, elbowing a shocked Levi in the side. Levi didn’t even pretend to acknowledge the goofy grin before hurrying toward to stairwell.

“Hello,” Levi said when he found the man hanging out by the truck. He was just as beautiful as he had been that morning, even with his clothes on. Though Levi would be lying if he said the man didn’t look fantastic in those perfectly fitted jeans, slim blazer, and his long brown hair falling loose around his beautiful face.

“Hi,” The man said, an adorable blush tinting his cheeks.

“Can I help you?” Levi asked, feeling his own cheeks heat slightly.

“Yeah, I wanted to thank you again… while actually wearing clothes. I’m Eren by the way.” He said.

“You look good either way,” Levi said before groaning internally, “I mean… I’m Levi.”

“It’s nice to meet you Levi, do you think I could buy you a coffee sometime?” Eren asked. His hand rubbing at the back of his neck nervously.

“Are you free now?” Levi asked.

“I am,” Eren smiled.

Somehow, just from that smile, Levi knew that this relationship wouldn’t end with a single coffee date.