#anyone bc i dont wanna be sad when it ends bc i anticipate or expect it to end
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having a crush is so embarassing for no reason
#i'm like all giggly and nervous about some dude i've only liked for 2 weeks?#ugh makes no sense to me#🧃#let me rant a little here bc i need to let it out. it's like my brain keep sblocking how much i like people. same thing happened with my#friend. brain keeps denying i am attracted to my friend or this guy who i am becoming friends with. im scared to feel too intensely for#anyone bc i dont wanna be sad when it ends bc i anticipate or expect it to end#but it doesn't have to end unless something is wrong. and if something is wrong u can talk about it first#like i don't have to panic and end it before things get bad. like regardless i will already be sad rn if it Were to end so i might as well#talk and try to figure things out before deciding it's over without even trying to see what the problem was#i dont have to end prematurely is what im saying. deciding its bad before it happens#but anyways yeah. despite that fear i still like him ehehe... hes pretty & kind & funny i like how he talks and stands and smiles#his thoughts and brain is like so good i always want to take more in its kinda embarassing how quick i am to say yes to anything that lets#me be near him and spend time with him. i forget everything bad around us when i'm near him. i feel... somewhat safe? or comfortable#i feel Relaxed. that's the right word#my heartbeat is slow but i feel tingly and warm
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