#anyhow. competitive girl crushes that focus on the performance of femininity. hello!

[wallissa]

I’m a monster and you’re my sacred cow. Starcracker, Annie January/Misty Tucker Gray (one-sided obsession 💋✨)

Misty dyes her hair in Annie’s bathroom. Well — it’s hers, technically, now. The whole flat is hers, these days. But with all the marble surfaces and large mirrors, the high ceilings and plush carpeting, it doesn’t really feel like hers. She sits on the closed lid of the toilet and wonders if it felt like Annie’s. If there were gold stars on the ceiling and plush red curtains framing the windows in the living room. If there were rice crackers in the kitchenette and stacks of Young Vogue (real Vogue, maybe, now) in the bedroom. She imagines the whole place smelling faintly of Pink Sugar and hairspray, the way she remembers Annie smelling.

The timer goes of and she gets up, hands going up to the towel on her head. They came with the place, blue with Firecracker embroidered in bold red. It’s really cool, even if she wishes they could’ve left the Starlight ones. She’d feel better about staining them with her red dye. Or worse, maybe. As she washes out her hair in Annie’s sink that’s not really hers, she knocks over her tubes of mascara. Distantly, she wonders if Annie cluttered the space as well. Better than Sex mascara and benefit lip stain, the kind originally made to tint your nipples pink with. A Dyson curling iron and gold body glitter.

Murky red water swirls down the drain. Misty picks up the towel again to towel off her hair. It’s ruined anyways, those stains probably won’t come out. For a while, she stands in front of the mirror, looks at her faded shirt and her eye bags and her towel that declares her name, HERS. She exits the bathroom and goes to fuck herself in Annie’s bed.

How can anybody have you? How can anybody have you and lose you? How can anybody have you and lose you and not lose their mind?