#anyhow thanks for coming to my tedtalk I guess

[mossandb0nes]

Parents and expectations

The system of age hierarchy encourages lying and complacency. While I do admit that I may be biased due to my upbringing, I believe I have seen both sides: my father, with beliefs that birth is the original consent violation, children should be treated as autonomous human beings, and generally as equals whenever possible, and my mother, with the belief that adults are always to be in a position of authority over children. My father is highly emotional, empathetic, and nurturing. My mother is logical and strict. It's a funny inversion of stereotypes. However, neither of them were taught to express those things healthily. My mother was never taught to guide and lead with compassion. My father was never taught stability or healthy ways to cope. In any case, I'll return to what I began this paragraph with: lying as a societal obligation.

This is a silly example, but I'll use it because it was recent. I saw a baby and without thinking, blurted out: "that's a funny-looking baby." I had forgotten that is generally not an acceptable thing to say, and is often taken as an insult to the baby. However, I find infants inherently funny-looking, and the baby cannot take offense, because it doesn't understand shit. So why do people get offended? The baby is not upset. I have not hurt the baby's feelings. I am not causing any pain in this situation. "Funny-looking" is not even intended as an insult. I find infant proportions humorous. Nobody gets upset when one finds a frog or a bird humorous, or calls it funny-looking. The baby is around the same level of intelligence as a frog.

In any case, it is expected of everyone, especially young people, to lie about their feelings or avoid stating them as not to offend others. While I believe that "brutal" honesty is unnecessary, as most offensive statements can be rephrased to avoid violent forms of communication, honesty should not be regarded as inherently offensive. Many statements are simply attempts to express one's experienced reality. In this way, honesty fosters connection.

To me, this means that adults or those in positions of authority should also be called out with objective statements of their mistakes. This does not necessitate criticism. It is simply for the purpose of fostering awareness and interpersonal understanding.