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justsomespiders · 10 months ago
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I can always tell when I need sleep super easily
I start getting thoughts like "are furries immune to carcinization?" And neither my brain nor I nor anyone in here has Any comprehension of what that means
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not-mary-sue · 7 months ago
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Alright, to ao3's soon to be arriving Wattpad Refugees, a basic guide to general user culture:
1.) Unlike Wattpads vote system that let's you like each chapter, the ao3 equivalent kudos only allows one per work. Everyone is generally quietly annoyed about this. To engage with each chapter, you're heavily encouraged to comment. Trust me, it makes people's day.
2.) Ao3 has no algorithm. By default it's latest updated work first. You can find things to your taste through searches, filters and tags.
3.) 'No archive warnings apply' and 'user has chosen not to use archive warnings' mean two very different things. No archives warnings means the work is free from any content that could require a warning tag (character death, graphic depictions of violence, non-con, etc). User has chosen not to use archive warnings means it could contain any of the warning content, be it hasn't been explicitly tagged. Treat it like an allergen. No archive warnings apply is allergen free. User has chosen not to use archive warnings, may contain traces or whole chunks of the allergen. If you're likely to have a bad reaction, maybe don't take the risk.
4.) Speaking of warnings, ao3 has very few restrictions on the type of work that's allowed. Whatever your personal thoughts or feelings on that are, thats how the site is. You're likely to run across some dark subject matters and a lot of people are uncomfortable with reading that. You're well within your rights not like these works and have your opinion on whether they should be allowed, but harassing the authors of such works (or any works) is more likely to come back on you than them. Ao3 operates on a strong policy of 'don't like, don't read'. Use the tagging system to your full advantage to only engage with the kind of works you want to see.
We look forward to welcoming you all and seeing the fantastic works you create. Happy writing!
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grimm-writings · 8 months ago
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Hi there!
I'd like to request something for the Laios party x reader where reader licks rocks like how archaeologists sometimes do to determine if it's a rock or a fossil. They just won't stop licking stuff. One moment you are just having a chat and walking side by side and the next reader grabs a rock and licks it. How would they react to their crush licking things that are certainly not food?
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“stop licking the damn thing!”
…ft! touden party x gn! reader, platonic izutsumi & reader
…tags! fluff, some crack, headcanon format, grimm doesn't know shit about rocks
…wc! 342 ; 400 ; 405 ; 344 ; 303 = 1794
…notes! this ask enraptured me i had to complete it posthaste. i’m not an expert in archeology or geology, but i hope you enjoy! 
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Laios
“Ooh, can I have a lick?”
His ass does NOT give a fuck.
You could do anything and he wouldn’t be fazed I’m dead serious.
Honestly, once you do it in front of him he’d steer the conversation towards your study and how you figure out each time what is a rock and what is a fossil.
He may not fully take in all the information you give him.  This isn’t a topic he’s admittedly too interested in.
Honestly he’d probably take up some of your advice and see if he tastes monster he can figure out certain things about it.  Considering most monsters are made of raw meat, he has to be held back by your fellow partymates.
Someone (Chilchuck) usually has to encourage you to not “enable his behaviours.”
Overall, Laios simply does not judge!  He’s open and welcoming, and will even take part in your study with you!
(It’s an added bonus that he really likes how you explain things to him…)
Almost like an eager dog, Laios leans over your shoulder to look at the stone in your hand.  Prepared to explain yourself, like usual, you take a breath. “May I?” he interrupts you.  You still for a second.  Does he mean…? You slowly lift the rock up to the taller man behind you.  You don’t have any words as he leans down to give a small lick. You’re almost flattered from how open he is to it. At the taste, Laios’ eyebrows furrow, and he seems to seriously try to dissect the flavour.  He hums and tilts his head to you.  “Salty?” “Yeah,” you reply, slowly growing a bit more comfortable as you get an excuse to talk about your study, “so that means this rock might contain evaporite minerals.” Laios smiles slightly, leaning back to his full height to converse with you in a more casual position.  “Which are?” Your conversation continues, with Laios taking mental notes that he’ll hopefully remember for later next time he comes across a monster. Maybe if you find a gargoyle…
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Marcille
Sorry she is so judgemental.
You are so lucky she likes you or else she’ll loudly give her opinion on how gross it is.
Well, that is until she learns the context as to why.
She’ll still be a little bit unsure, wondering if it’s proper conduct at all.
Marcille is trying her best, she really is, but you can’t just end a conversation so suddenly because you saw a rock, licked it in front of her, and said “hm… sedimentary.”
She wonders every day what she did to deserve such an… interesting taste in crushes. 
Though, like all things, give Marcille some time and she’ll warm up to your habits a bit more.  It may even be that she’ll be wondering about her study of the dungeon, running her hand along the wall, and thinking that she could call out to you to taste the wall and tell her the material.
She may not try out the method herself, but she’ll at least tolerate how you do it.  There’s a science behind it, after all…
Marcille stares as you lick your lips and hum to yourself.  Her mouth is a thin line and she’s trying her best not to come out with a disapproving comment. “Any… interesting findings…?”  She stiffly asks instead, gripping Ambrosia as if you’ll try licking her to figure out the levels of Mana too.  You can never be too cautious, even if she is only made out of wood. You smile at Marcille, either blissfully unaware of her austerity or pretending to be.  You hold up the stone in your hand and outline something with your finger.  “I think if we break this, we might find some fossils inside it.  You can keep it for your research if you want.” Marcille’s ears perk up slightly at that.  “For… me?”  She asks aloud, as if there’s anyone else who’d be interested in dungeon rocks.  As soon as she processes it she’s flushed and avoiding eye contact.  “I mean, this is your field of study, not mine!  I couldn’t possibly…” But you take her hands in your own, and place the fossil in her palm.  Marcille’s breath hitches when you take her fingers and fold them over the stone. “I trust you to come up with something.”  You beam at the elf, and she thinks that she might just have to take a chance in your skills.
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Chilchuck
Not exactly open to it, not entirely critical about it either…
…But you will get a bit of a look whenever you do it.
He might be more the kind to make sure you aren’t outright doing it at stupid moments.  You better not get any ideas looking at those statues!
Sometimes you’ll be about to hold the stone up to your mouth, and right when your tongue is about to touch it, you’ll hear Chilchuck sigh a “don’t.”
Honestly this guy is treating you like a dog with something it shouldn’t have in its mouth.  Don’t worry, worrying and fretting is how he shows his love.
Even if he doesn’t like admitting to it…
If you try to explain how licking things helps in your study, Chil is inclined to raise his eyebrow and say that your field must be full of weirdos.
Then again, he’s the one who likes you so maybe he shouldn’t be too harsh…
He’s willing to let you do what you need to do but that doesn’t mean you’re free from his scathing commentary.
Crouched down, you analyse some rock in front of you.  It stands out a fair bit from most of the other geodes down here.  What could it be…? You lean in, your tongue grazing the stone slightly, and you lick.  The tip of your tongue familiarises itself with the taste.  Maybe metamorphic…? “Are you serious?”  You freeze at the sound of Chilchuck’s boyish voice.  On your hands and knees licking rocks isn’t exactly the ideal position to be judged in, even as you turn to look at the half-foot, arms crossed.  “Senshi is in the middle of cooking, no need to resort to eating rocks.” You roll your eyes.  You’re used to how Chilchuck treats your study at this point.  “I was just curious.” Chilchuck scoffs, walking up to pull you by the back of your collar up onto your feet again, which you do with some coercion.  “Yeah sure,” he says, “just wanna confirm you haven’t completely lost your marbles yet.” You look up at him, and squint.  Holding back a laugh, you mutter, “was that…?” “No, it wasn’t a dad joke,”  Chilchuck sighs, leaving you to your devices again.  “Just don’t do anything stupid when no one’s watching.” He hopes even as you giggle and confirm, you won’t notice the bright blush blooming on Chilchuck’s cheeks and tips of his ears.  How embarrassing…
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Senshi
Also winning the dgaf war I fear.
He’d watch you lick some of the rocks you had picked out from your travels while resting.
It comes as no surprise that it then crosses his mind if the flavour changes when cooked, which he asks if he can do with some of your selection.
You can use your imagination on how Marcille and Chilchuck reacted when told that today’s dinner is … just rocks.
(Laios is disappointed that it isn’t any cool monster rocks.)
One delightful montage later, and ‘tis finished!  Since they are for your research, Senshi insists you have the first bite.
Crunch… and oh, such unique flavours!
You gush to Senshi about how this is a major breakthrough in how different minerals react to cooking conditions, and he gives you his observations too.
Honestly, just sort of wholesome bonding!
“Aye, this one cooked easily, while this one took plenty more time.” You nod eagerly as you watch Senshi point to two different stones.  “That’s because one is an igneous rock, which is magmatic.  The other is a sedimentary rock, which carries different minerals from lakes and oceans.  Separation in cooking must have resulted in different reactions!  I wonder how different metamorphic rocks would react…” As you mumble to yourself, Senshi happily continues his meal-making, occasionally responding back to you with hums and comments about what else each observed in his experimentation. Even when you had finished up your meal entirely, you thanked Senshi with the widest grin on your face.  He couldn’t help but be just a little flattered when you go on to joke that you should bring him home with you so he can help with your research. In return, Senshi listens to you, and hangs on your every word as you explain your findings to him.  Even if not too nutritious of a meal, the minerals from the rocks provide some calcium and other such buffs! And well…  If he can keep that happiness prolonged with his cooking, then he’s doing a very good job providing for you indeed!
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Izutsumi
“Why are you eating rocks?  Looks gross.”
Make way for the #1 hater…
Izutsumi refuses to listen to any such rationalities you make about your study or why you lick rocks (even though she’s the one who asked), she’s still finding it icky and weird.
You’d have to fight fire with fire when it comes to her, you’ll question why she does some habits she does in return – such as licking her hand.
She’ll look at you like you’re stupid, before telling you that it’s a way for her to clean herself and notice if there’s anything caught in her fur.
“Ah, so like how I would lick rocks to identify anything embedded in them too!”
…How dare you try to rationalise yourself with her own logic, heathen.
Jail for reader.  Jail for 1000 years.
She’s not one to so readily accept other people’s weird quirks, but eventually she has to find that she’ll look stupid if she doesn’t…  It’s a bit of a dirty scheme, but it works.
“Come on, Izu, just give it a try!  I promise it just tastes like water.” “What kinda water?!”  She shoots back. You pause.  “W…Water?” This is how the argument between whether or not water has a flavour comes to be.  Izutsumi insists that some water tastes icky while others taste nice.  You have to explain that this pure water simply doesn’t have a taste.  She doesn’t believe you. In fact, Izutsumi makes you give the sedimentary stone another taste before affirming, it just tastes like water.  She’s about to grab your shoulders and shake you.  What kind of water?! It takes plenty of encouragement and an immediate failsafe orange juice Senshi squeezed out for her to ‘get rid of’ the taste when you get Izutsumi to taste the stone. She still hasn’t forgiven you… 
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maidragoste · 9 months ago
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Fatherhood
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Daemon Targaryen x Velaryon!Reader
More of Daemon's Wife au
Summary: A glimpse into Daemon's life as a father.
REBLOGS, comments and likes are always greatly appreciated. comments always motivate me to continue writing 🥰🥰💖💖
If you have ideas or thoughts for this series you are welcome to share them in my inbox 🤭
Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.
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After watching your husband act like a fool for days you finally lost your patience so tonight when Daemon climbed into bed with you and started kissing your neck you pushed him away.
“What did I do?” He asked, knowing that you were upset by the frown on your face.
"You're ignoring Baelon," you accused him without any doubt of your words.
Since the two of you had came back home from the war, Daemon had barely been to the nursery and when the whole family was at the table he never tried to talk to Baelon. You didn't expect him to instantly become familiar with his role as a father., after all, he hadn't been able to meet their son before, but you never thought that your husband would look for any excuse not to be with your son.
"He doesn't like me so I'm not going to bother him" he responded, wanting to appear unconcerned but you know him well so you know that this actually bothered him.
When you and your husband returned from Stepstones, your son had burst into tears the first time Daemon spoke to him. You noticed the pain in your husband's eyes when Baelon hid his face in your neck, refusing to see him. You didn't blame your son for being afraid since it was the first time he saw his father. You knew Daemon had been excited to finally meet Baelon so you understood that the boy's reaction would have disappointed him but you didn't expect him to decide to distance himself because of that.
"He doesn't like you because he doesn't know you yet," you explain now in a softer tone. "Daemon, I don't know what you expected from your first meeting but he acted like any other child would. He doesn't know you so you have to earn his trust. He's not going to love you just because im tell him you're his father. You have to spend time with him," you advised him as you traced random patterns on his chest, hoping he wouldn't take your words the wrong way.
"I will," he promised before kissing you on the lips. He was satisfied to see that this time you didn't push him away so he continued kissing you again and again.
And Daemon really considered your words because after that night he started spending more time at the nursery. At first, Baelon looked uncertainly at Daemon when he spoke to him but you always encouraged him to respond. In addition, it also helped that your son saw that you were always calm and smiling around Daemon, so little by little the boy began to gain more confidence. Every time you were about to tell him a new story, Baelon asked his father if he knew it too and he listened attentively every time Daemon contributed. When he realized that his father also knew High Valyrian, he began to proudly tell him the words he had learned so far and asked him to also teach him new words, now at the table after the servants brought the food Baelon spent his time asking his father what he liked and what he didn't, interested in knowing more about him. Not only that but Baelon also started inviting him to the walks the two of you take together on the beach. Seeing all this, you were proud of the progress between father and son and it made you happy to see the happiness on Daemon's face every time Baelon asked his opinion or asked him something, not to mention when he held his hand for the first time while the three walked together in the beach.
But still, you couldn't help but notice that the two of them were never alone, you were always there as if they wouldn't dare to be alone.
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"Where is he going?" Baelon asked, looking with a pout at his father's back as he walked.
"You Kepa is going to go see his dragon" You smiled as you came up with an idea so that they could spend some time alone "Do you want to go with him?"
You weren't surprised when he let go of your hand and started running after Daemon shouting "Kepa! Kepa!" Your husband soon stopped and turned to see the little copy of him running towards him with a big smile. He felt his heart warm at the sight. When Baelon was a few steps away from him, he approached and picked him up without warning, making the boy squeal with happiness.
"I want to go with you," the boy announced before his father could ask him what was happening.
Your husband looked at you waiting for you to say something but you were already raising your hand saying goodbye to them with a smile. Baelon moved his hand back and forth until you became a distant speck on the beach.
"What's the name of your dragon?" the boy asked, still in his dad's arms as he walked.
"Caraxes" the father responded with a smile even though this was not the first time his son had asked him that.
"It's like Wing?"
Daemon would be lying if he said he wasn't fond of hearing how Baelon called your dragon Wing because according to the Nightwing boy he was too long.
"Caraxes is much grander than the dragon on your muña," the prince responded, feeling his smile grow larger as he imagined your indignation if you would listen to him. A part of him hoped that Baelon would later tell you this just to see your reaction.
"He's giant!" Baelon exclaimed impressed when he saw the red beast. "Will my dragon be like that too?" He asked excitedly.
"Probably but in many years" Daemon replied and poked his nose when he saw him pouting "Do you want to pet him?" Instantly the pout was replaced by a smile.
"Yes!" the boy shouted excitedly and before Baelon went to touch the dragon, Daemon took his son's small hand before placing it and his carefully on the dragon's face. He did not believe that Caraxes would do anything to him but he preferred not to risk it, it was known that dragons did not usually react well when someone who was not their rider approached them with too much confidence and the last thing he wanted was for his son to end up hurt so he was for a while talking to his dragon while they both caressed it.
Daemon could remember the proudest moments in his life: when he claimed Caraxes, when his father gave him Dark Sister, when he called you his wife for the first time when you told him you were pregnant and now it added up to see his son bond with his dragon.
They were there for a while. Daemon listened with amusement to Baelon's ramblings about how giant Caraxes was and that he surely had to eat a lot to achieve that size, all while never stopping petting the dragon. Until started to get dark then they headed back to the castle.
"I like Wing more" the boy confessed once the figure of the dragon became a distant speck.
"Tomorrow you will come to fly with me and you will see that Caraxes flies faster," the prince said instantly. He had to change Baelon's mind before he said that again but in front of you. He could already imagine your cocky smile and how you would never let him forget it.
"Let's fly now!" the boy squealed excitedly.
"We can't now, your daughter must be waiting for us for dinner" the father explained, and seeing that  Baelon seemed about to complain he added "Would you like her to have dinner alone? I'm sure that would make her sad"
"No, let's go with muña!"
During dinner, Baelon spent his time talking non-stop about Caraxes and how tomorrow he would fly with his Kepa. You listened to everything with a smile and only interrupted your son's ramblings to remind him to eat before the food got cold.
In the middle of Baelon's talks, Daemon took your hand and kissed it. He didn't need to tell you anything, you could see it in his eyes, he was grateful that you encouraged him to stop hiding and that he would make an effort to form a bond with his son.
When it was time for Baelon to go to sleep you and him got up from the table to go to the nursery but first Baelon said goodbye to his Kepa with a kiss on the cheek. You encouraged your son to go ahead with one of the maidens while you stayed with Daemon.
"I'm proud of you," you said as you took your husband's face in your hands and leaned in to kiss him "I can't wait to see you with the next one" you declared between kisses.
Your husband took a while to register your words because he was distracted by the taste of your lips but once he did he stopped kissing you to look at you impressed.
"Are you pregnant?" He asked just to make sure he understood correctly although he could already feel his heart racing.
You nodded with a smile and let out a laugh the moment Daemon pulled you onto his lap. You kissed his neck while his hand rested on your stomach. You still didn't show but he couldn't wait to see how the life inside you grew. He couldn't be by your side when you were pregnant with Baelon but this time it would be different, this time the two of you wouldn't have to discuss the baby's name by letter, this time Daemon would feel the baby's kicks instead of having to imagine it, this time if you wanted him, he would be by your side when you gave birth, this time he wouldn't have to wait years to meet his son. This time he would be there to see him grow.
"This time I won't miss anything," he promised, kissing your forehead.
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Taglist for all my House of the Dragon works: @chaotic-fangirl-blog @venus-flytrap3 @ajordan2020 @iloveallmyboys @sweethoneyblossom1 @fudge13 @crystal-faith @tita004 @ichanelvxgue @snowprincesa1
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Peter, Peter
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Spencer Reid x Female Reader (Implied Smut)
Summary: Season 2 Spencer and his girlfriend host a Halloween party and their couple costume causes some confusion
Note: Inspired by the scene in which Spencer doesn't recognize the kissing in a tree rhyme
Spencer loved Halloween. I knew that my boyfriend was a massive nerd. Honestly, it was a plus. With Spencer, I could be myself. He wasn't the type of man to raise his voice at a football game gone wrong. He wasn't the type of man had some weird purity culture blocks on me reading steamy books.
He was the type of man to passive-aggressive judge Jeopardy clues with the slightest inaccuracy. In my opinion, Spencer got a perfect score on the Jeopardy application which retroactively banned him from any type of game show in the franchise.
He was the type of man that encouraged enthusiastic and unabashed interest in things. Spencer had his old Russian novels and I had my novels with plenty of euphemisms for penis and good girl in Russian.
Compatibility, right?
Spencer had volunteered us to host team party. They spent the day hoping from grocery store to craft store to liquor store for various things they needed. The fall had finally arrived; and I welcomed the crispiness in the morning and the chill in the evening. Spencer wore a forest green and deep khaki sweater that complimented his eyes. He blushed when I told him, the tips of his reddened cheeks reached the bottom of his glasses.
"Ooh! We should use the pumpkins as a pitch for my Faerie Brew." I suggested, sizing up a rather large and lumpy orange pumpkin.
Spencer cocked his head. "What were you thinking of making?"
"Personally I think a pumpkin sangria would be revolting..." I sighed, thinking, "probably I'd do an apple, cranberry, lemonade sangria."
"Sounds like you and Penelope will be the ones to enjoy that?" He teased. Penelope was the first of the team to know. Spencer had a hard time hiding the reason as to why Penelope had caught him a florist near their apartments. I had met Penelope a couple weeks later and in the eight months since, we've become close friends. Mostly because I've grown to hate nights alone in our apartment. It's not the same without Spencer.
Spencer lifts the pumpkin and places it into the cart, waving off my insistence on helping. "Are you going to tell me what the costumes are? Derek really thinks he's slick doing what he's doing with his date."
"You'll see."
"Tell me, Y/N." Spencer pushed the cart along, stopping as I toss a packet of orange jello.
"I've never done jello shots." I claimed. "I was too serious and nerdy in college." Spencer gave me an amused look.
"I'm sure between the two of us, I was the nerdiest one back in college." He retorted, a look a smugness colored his face.
"You were twelve in college, Spencer." I countered, smiling when the tips of Spencer's crooked smile reached the part where his cheeks tinged red. "And you're lucky you're cute." I said. "But I want jello-shots."
"I'll get the sleeping bag out for Penelope. And we'll swing by the drinks aisle for some electrolytes."
---
Spencer had gotten stuck planning a seminar at the Academy so Penelope had decided to come over to help me the finishing touches. She was dressed as Hedy Lamar, the scientist/film star. The 1940s style suited her. Penelope had a bright red lip and perfectly curled blonde hair. Her dress with fitted at the waist and flared to the knees.
"You're a pumpkin?" Penelope's eyebrows were raised. She had begun organizing the jello shots tray into something resembling a pumpkin. "I would've thought you'd having the most creative costume."
I plated the mini-hot dogs into warming trays, trying to hide my thrill. I knew that Penelope would love this costume in its entirety. Spencer...he'd either love it or not.
"You'll see!" I said. Penelope had roped JJ and Emily into dressing up like the Powerpuff girls. Penelope, between the trio, had taken it the most seriously.
The rest of the team had arrived, except for Hotch who had simply shaken his head at the thought of trying Penelope's Franken-Punch. I poured the sparkly green liquid into a plastic pumpkin as Spencer walked into our apartment.
"You're the cutest pumpkin in the patch." Spencer said softly, his playful tone making me smile. Penelope pretended to gag into the kitchen sink at Spencer's sickly sweet affection.
"Usually I'd think you two are adorable, but tonight I am preoccupied." Penelope claimed. She had set her sights on one of Derek's gym buddies who was coming to the party. Much to Derek's chagrin. "Anyway, Reid. Go get your costume on." She insisted.
Spencer kissed the side of my cheek and made a face at the concoction. "You know calling this Franken-Punch isn't very accurate. The doctor is the one named Frankenstein." Penelope gave him a look. And Spencer threw his hands up, "All I'm saying is that if we're going to pay homage to the mother of science fiction we shouldn't be so cavalier with references."
Penelope huffed in faux annoyance as I kissed Spencer's face. "Go get ready, honey. JJ and Emily should be coming soon. And I think Derek and Danny are parking." I handed Spencer the bag with his costume in it and Penelope and I continued to get the apartment ready for the party.
It was hard to decide if Penelope was more enamoured with Danny or if Danny was more enamoured with her. It would be hard not to find someone who wasn't taken with the tech genius.
I sipped the drink Penelope had made. It tasted as good as it looked. Derek stood at my side, scooping some dip, chips, and a slice of pizza on his plate. Spencer came from our bedroom, a confused look on his face.
"And now what on Earth do you have him dressed as?" Derek smirked, as he noticed the text on Spencer's shirt.
Peter, Peter
"It's not anything that's not true." I shrugged, my bright orange cheeks smiling as I winked. Spencer hurried over, still confused. Penelope, JJ, and Emily took pictures together but instantly understood Spencer's confusion.
"Too much for me to know," Penelope said, groaning, "Now I see the creativity in this costume." She gestured to my pumpkin outfit.
Spencer appeared at my side, still confused. "Are you sure this isn't a mistake?" He asked, looking down at his shirt and then at me, "It's supposed to be a couple's costume, baby?"
Derek chuckled, offering to clink his and Spencer's glasses in cheers, "My man. Who would've thought."
Penelope giggled as she and the girls filled their plates and exchanged looks of both surprise and amusement. Spencer, however, remained confused. Danny, Derek's friend from the gym who wouldn't leave Penelope alone, joined in on the clever costume.
"Peter, peter, pumpkin eater. Good man," He said, clapping Spencer on the shoulder.
When the guests had gotten their food and drink Spencer and Derek stood together chatting about the results of the latest case. Gideon, who reluctantly donned a witch's hat, offered a curious glance at Spencer's shirt and then scanned his eyes towards me. He nodded, looked at Spencer and then shook his head in disbelief.
"That's enough." Spencer exclaimed. "Explain it to me." He grabbed my hand and I smiled. He always told me that my grins were infectious and just by looking at me he'll end up smiling. "Please. Derek won't stop congratulating me and I'm lost."
I chuckle, kissing Spencer on his cheek. "You're brilliant, baby." I said. "You're Peter, Peter and I'm the pumpkin. And you're a pumpkin eater." I explained.
"Oh." Spencer said cocking his head. "Makes sense. You're very sweet and I do like-" I clapped my hand over Spencer's mouth before he can continue. Sometimes that mind works too fast for the other parts of him to keep up. He kissed my palm, breaking my resolve. I laughed wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him.
"Y/N!" Penelope called out, clearly more than inebriated, "We want to play some games. And don't worry Dr. Reid, no bobbing for apples. We'll by the looks of it, you'll be bobbing for someone's pumpkin later." She smirked.
We divided into teams three, with Spencer and I on the same team. We shared the armchair and Spencer's had wrapped themselves around my waist. Penelope, in all her drunken glory, explained the rules. Just as she was going over the rules, Spencer gasped and called out.
"Oh! You mean like...cunniligus. Well then yeah, I guess it works."
tagging some friends bc i don't have a taglist anymore
@reidsbookclub @reidsbookclub @reid-ingandweeping @foxy-eva
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tarotwithlucien · 2 months ago
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Letter from your Future Spouse | PICK A PILE
⊹ ᨦ Hello! Welcome to another PAP about future spouse, as you asked for a lot, here I am back ;) I have to warn you that there's a lil bit of nsfw in this reading so if you're underage LEAVE 😠
₊˚๑ How to choose: Close your eyes, take a deep breath and choose the image that caught your attention. ₊˚๑ Disclaimer: All readings are done for entertainment only, don't use my readings as a replacement for legitimate advice. This is a general reading, so take what resonates and leave what doesn't.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ masterist | tip jar
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🥐 ⊹ ꒱ PILE ONE ᨦ ♡
⊹ ︶⏝⭒ ⊹ ⭒⏝︶ ⊹
"My dearest love,
I want you to know that all I truly desire is a peaceful life with you. In a world that often seems to value wealth, fame, and material luxuries, I find solace in the simplicity of our love. I don’t need grand gestures or extravagant possessions. As long as I’m by your side, that’s more than enough for me. I envision a quiet, private life where it’s just the two of us, free from the noise and distractions of the outside world. It doesn’t even matter to me if no one in the city we live in knows our name, all that matters is you and the beautiful life we build together. From the moment I met you, I’ve fallen for you deeply. Your essence captivates me in ways I can hardly explain. I love your unique style, even when others judge it harshly (Many people in this pile have a more alternative look, maybe even tattoos or piercings, and that just adds to how much they admire you). I find beauty in your individuality, in the way you express yourself unapologetically. I adore listening to you talk, even when your words ramble on about something seemingly silly – it doesn’t matter. When you ask me to, I love wrapping my hands around your neck, feeling the warmth of your skin beneath my fingertips. The way you beg for my touch sends shivers down my spine; it ignites a fire within me that I never knew existed. The pleasure you give me is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced, and I crave every moment we share. Seeing you from behind during our passionate encounters drives me wild with desire, and I’m utterly eager to know your taste in every sense. I am completely captivated by you; you have my heart, and honestly, I’d let you ruin my life if that’s what you wanted. I want you to know that you are free to be exactly who you are with me. Never apologize for being yourself; your authenticity is what makes you shine. Don’t let the opinions of others weigh you down or dictate how you live your life. You don’t need to seek validation from anyone or change who you are to fit someone else’s expectations. Those people who criticize you? They’re simply jealous because they lack the courage to live as freely as you do. Remember, you’re not perfect – none of us are – but you possess so much inherent value. I hope you can see that in yourself, even on days when self-doubt creeps in. I’ve noticed that you’ve been holding back, staying quiet when things or people bother you, and it’s been going on for far too long. It’s time to stop. You deserve to stand up for yourself and speak out when something doesn’t feel right. Don’t just let things slide or accept situations that don’t sit well with your heart. And please, exercise caution with the people you trust – not everyone has your best interests at heart. You are precious to me, and I want to protect you from any negativity or harm that may come your way. You mean everything to me, and I promise to be your safe haven, your supporter, and your biggest fan. Together, we can navigate this life and face whatever challenges come our way. I’ll always stand by your side, encouraging you to be the incredible person you are meant to be.
With all my love, Your future spouse."
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🥐 ⊹ ꒱ PILE TWO ᨦ ♡
⊹ ︶⏝⭒ ⊹ ⭒⏝︶ ⊹
"My love,
I’ve never felt so happy or so deeply invested in someone until you came into my life. Before we became what we are now, we were just friends, and that in itself was confusing for me. I’d never felt anything like this for anyone before, so it caught me off guard. But now, being with you, I find myself in awe, thinking, "Wow, is this really my life?”. Being with you as your partner feels like the most divine experience I’ve ever had. Right now, I know there are people who don’t treat you the way you deserve. Some of them always think they’re right and criticize you, making it seem like you’re always wrong and never good enough. They point out your flaws and mistakes as if you aren’t capable of doing anything right. But listen to me, love, you don’t need to tolerate that. You deserve better. These people don’t know your worth, and I’m telling you, don’t waste your time trying to please them. Don’t let their words tear you down, and don’t let them walk all over you. It’s time for you to stand tall and show them exactly who you are. You’re so much more than their shallow judgments, and you don’t need their approval to know your value. The thought of losing you is something I can hardly bear. Just imagining you being with someone else, laughing with them, sharing moments, and kissing them – it makes my heart ache in ways I can’t describe. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I’m protective of you because I love you so much, and the idea of someone else having what we have – it would break me. I know it sounds possessive, but it’s not in a toxic way. I just can’t imagine my life without you, and I don’t want to share you with anyone. You’re mine, and I’ll always fight for us because I know that what we have is rare. This kind of love doesn’t come around often, and it’s something worth fighting for, no matter what. I’ll be by your side through every high and low. I’m not going anywhere. Stay with me, because I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted, everything you’ve dreamed of. You deserve the world, and I’ll spend my life trying to give it to you. You’re beautiful – so incredibly beautiful. If we were in a room full of people, you’d still be the only one I’d see. No one else could ever hold my attention the way you do. You make me feel more alive than I ever have before, and I can’t help but be mesmerized by you, by the way you move, by everything you are. I want you. I want to feel you close, I want our bodies to collapse into one another, and I want to hold you through the night. I want to wake up the next morning with you beside me, your face illuminated by the soft light of the sun. I can’t imagine anything more perfect than that. Every moment with you feels like a dream, and I never want to wake up from it. I hope you know how much you mean to me, how much I cherish you. I’m completely and hopelessly in love with you, and I’ll stand by you, no matter what comes our way. You’re my heart, my soul, my everything.
With all my love, Your future spouse."
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🥐 ⊹ ꒱ PILE THREE ᨦ ♡
⊹ ︶⏝⭒ ⊹ ⭒⏝︶ ⊹
"My darling,
I want you to know that I’m here to lift you up and encourage you to fly high, chasing after all your dreams with unwavering determination. I see you grappling with people who are rude or who treat you as if you’re less than you truly are, and I want you to realize that this mistreatment only happens because you allow it. I understand that you might hold back your words, choosing silence to avoid conflict, but it’s essential for you to stand your ground and assert yourself. You have every right to demand respect, and you must not let anyone walk all over you. It might take time for you to learn how to set boundaries and to stand firm without feeling guilty, especially if you’re someone who tends to please others. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but I promise you, you’ll get there if you take that first step. I see you feeling lonely at times, and it pains me to know that you’re going through this. I can help you mend that loneliness, and I want nothing more than to see you shine brightly in your own unique way. I long to be near you, to touch you, to kiss you passionately, and to explore every inch of your being. You deserve to feel desired and loved, and I want to be the one to show you just how incredible you are. I’ll make you scream with pleasure because you are such a good girl/good boy, and I will send you all the love in my heart, wrapped in every caress and whisper. You have the power to manifest the life of your dream. You can create the reality you desire, and I believe in you wholeheartedly. Know that I am practically at your feet, waiting for you to call out to me. As soon as you do, I will come running. Being apart from you right now feels like a dagger to my heart. Even though we haven’t met yet, I am on a quest to find you, enduring this distance as best I can. The thought of trying to stop loving you is impossible; it would only cause my feelings to deepen. I could never truly let you go, and the very idea of it is unbearable. But I hold on to the hope that one day we will be together, sharing everything that life has to offer. My eyes are always on you; you are everything I see. You are my world, my everything, and I will always be here, ready to embrace you when the time comes.
With all my love, Your future spouse."
© tarotwithlucien - don't copy, redistribute or edit my content | moodboard & dividers by plutism
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elysiansparadise · 3 months ago
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Saturn in the Composite Chart
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══🤍 Saturn in Aries 🤍══
In this relationship there is a strong conviction to be with the other. Both people can be very hard on themselves, even having a couple of insecurities and doubts about whether or not they are enough. You will learn to have greater confidence in yourself and the other can give you that push to dare to do things that you had never thought or considered. They will not be afraid to directly address any differences that exist and will avoid running away or evading problems, preferring to seek and find solutions that work for both of them. 
══🤍Saturn in Taurus 🤍══
This couple will work hard to gradually build an environment of comfort and security for each other, as it is something they long for in this relationship. They will seek to maintain harmony despite the issues that may arise. Both can be very patient with each other and will seek to understand each other so that both can feel truly appreciated in the relationship. They may have a wound from not having felt valued in previous relationships, so they will do everything possible to avoid both feeling that way themselves and making others feel that way.
══🤍Saturn in Gemini 🤍══
At first there may be some difficulty in expressing oneself with the other [either due to fears or insecurities], however this placement tells us that over time both can create clear and direct communication about both what they think and what they feel. Sometimes they may have a tendency to avoid certain topics for fear of causing discomfort if they consider it something very personal for the other and they may prefer that the other person take the first step. They both want to teach the other significant things about the relationship, that it is okay to speak their minds, that they will be listened to or even appreciated for giving their opinions. 
══🤍Saturn in Cancer 🤍══
They may have issues with being vulnerable or allowing themselves to be very emotionally open, however, in this relationship they will greatly appreciate each other's attempts to do so, as they know how difficult it is. There is a tendency to care for and protect each other, creating a safe and welcoming environment. They can take their emotions and those of others very seriously and it is sometimes necessary that they take care of their words, as they can easily feel hurt, something that can be worked on by creating and establishing boundaries.
══🤍Saturn in Leo 🤍══
Both may have issues with feeling accepted as they are, in this relationship both will support each other to be themselves without fear of judgment. Throughout this relationship, both will mature a lot and can encourage the other to let go of the opinions of others to feel valued. Both can be somewhat proud, which if not regulated can cause issues or arguments. They may fear being judged by the other, which must be worked on with open communication. Being a fixed sign, Saturn in this sign makes this a loyal and constant partner in terms of dedication and appreciation.
══🤍Saturn in Virgo 🤍══
Both tend to put very high expectations on themselves and want to solve everything on their own. In this relationship, they will learn over time to rely on others, what it means to have a partner who supports you as much as you support them. Both are oriented towards improvement, either constantly working on themselves or seeking to improve the relationship and its quality. Both can seek the best version of themselves for the relationship which leads them to set very high standards for themselves. They need to know that they do not need to strive for perfection, rather for stability.
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══🤍Saturn in Libra 🤍══
It is very likely that before the relationship or outside of it, both are very self-sufficient and have a hard time relying on others. This relationship will teach them to cooperate, to open up and rely on another person. This relationship promises to be a long-lasting relationship in which both can balance the responsibilities of the relationship and will make decisions together. They will give what they receive from the other. They can choose to deal with their differences privately and resolve it in a way that is fair to both of them. Both will become deeply committed to the relationship.
══🤍Saturn in Scorpio 🤍══
They will be able to handle crises very well and stay strong no matter what. With each other you will not only learn to trust someone but you will also feel that you can explore your most tense emotions with each other and not feel judged for it. They can handle the most difficult emotions very well, being empathetic and understanding of the other. They have a natural tendency to be distrustful and show a strong and unwavering appearance, but they will see themselves in their rawest moments and seek to be with the other through them.
══🤍Saturn in Sagittarius 🤍══
Both will place a lot of importance on the idea of ​​exploring and getting to know each other deeply, as a way to have the stability and relationship they want. They will give a lot of priority to explaining to the other what they truly value in a relationship, as well as listening to what the other values. They will want to explore a lot with each other and will put a lot of emphasis on living moments that bring important teachings to both of them. This relationship will have a focus on honesty, integrity and justice.
══🤍Saturn in Capricorn 🤍══
They are focused on creating a stable and lasting relationship based on common values ​​and similar goals. They are both very ambitious and will be fascinated by the fact that the other also has goals for which they strive and work hard. They may be used to carrying many things on their shoulders and keeping their feelings to themselves, especially those that make them feel weak. In this relationship, both will learn not to pretend to be able to handle everything, they will find in each other a stable pillar to lean on when things become difficult.
══🤍Saturn in Aquarius 🤍══
They seek to avoid at all costs controlling the other person or limiting them in some way, because they would never do something that they hate being done to them. A lot of support for the other when going after what they aspire to, a strong bond of companionship where there is support and appreciation. They both empower the other and encourage them to be authentic and independent. They are both self-sufficient and will need a lot of their own space and time alone, but that doesn't mean they don't love each other. The perspectives they had on relationships will change a lot, especially those in the long term.
══🤍Saturn in Pisces 🤍══
This relationship can be very compassionate, with a focus on constantly and attentively caring for and supporting each other. They may have difficulty establishing limits, but they will be mutually supportive in doing so. There is a tendency for both of them not to be vulnerable or not seek help or attention from others, but in this relationship both can patiently show the other that it is okay to open up and admit when they are not okay. Together they will learn to face the issues that arise without running away or avoiding the topic. When the other feels lost or confused, the other will be there to be an anchor and a source of comfort and stability.
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═══🩶Saturn in the 1st house🩶═══
This is a serious relationship, where responsibility and maturity play a central role from the beginning. Both are clear about what they want from the relationship and will do their best to build a long-term relationship with each other. Both seek stability in the relationship and feel a mutual commitment that motivates them to work hard for the goals they have together. Devotion and a strong loyalty to each other and what they formed together. They can demand a lot of themselves in the relationship and both may feel that they aren't doing enough, so the love and support of the other is necessary, since they must know how to appreciate the efforts that they make. Both of you will be able to grow a lot with each other, you will become more introspective about who you are and who you want to be. 
═══🩶Saturn in the 2nd house🩶═══
Being the house of what they value as a couple, Saturn here shows us a couple that values ​​stability, reliability and that ability of both to be there for the other no matter what. They can be unbreakable and form a solid foundation of trust for the relationship. Both of you may have that need for security in the relationship, so it will be crucial that you talk about your insecurities to better understand each other. The relationship may have progressed slowly. They may have challenges talking about what they need, so patience and understanding will be necessary. They will not hesitate to work hard to achieve financial security, to establish common values ​​in the relationship. Spending time with each other is of utmost importance for both of them, and precisely because they both value their time, they do not hesitate to give it to the other. 
══🩶Saturn in the 3rd house🩶══
In this relationship, both can learn to think in the long term, they will become more mature and will be able to generate a realistic and practical way of thinking. It is possible that at the beginning the communication was not very fluid and/or there was a barrier between you. Communication is deep, serious and they will be able to find solutions to problems more easily. You will both enjoy talking about long-term plans with the other. They will trust each other a lot, being reserved and cautious with what they trust each other. Communication can be constant and they will strive to be clear and direct with each other. They will be reasonable and will go to the other before making a decision that has to do with the relationship. Mutual respect and both can consider the other very intelligent and capable.
══🩶Saturn in the 4th house🩶══
This couple focuses on creating something lasting and meaningful and they will give their best and strive to make the foundations a strong and reliable bond. They both work together to make this bond deeper and more emotional, even if they come from different backgrounds. They will be a strong emotional support for the other and will be there for the other in their vulnerable moments, being a pillar of strength and reliance. It may be difficult for you to open up emotionally or talk about very private things, but you will gradually build your trust, which you will give to each other after demonstrations through actions. Creating a home will be something that both take very seriously, often in the conventional way [children, shared house and marriage]. In this relationship they take each other's needs seriously and will seek to meet them.
══🩶Saturn in the 5th house🩶══
Both share a more realistic vision of love, they will always find themselves constantly working on fulfilling their part in the relationship. They will prefer to show affection privately and keep many aspects of their relationship to themselves. You will take your time to plan dates and other activities together. There may be some shyness on one or both partners when it comes to showing love due to fear of betrayal or being perceived as too intense. In this relationship, both are very dedicated and devoted, and they would prefer things to happen at their own pace without the need to force things. With the other they will know a more stable and lasting concept of love in which adversity does not matter, the affection for the other will lead them to try and adapt.
══🩶Saturn in the 6th house🩶══
In this relationship both can help the other to bring greater discipline in the other's life. There is a strong orientation to do things correctly with respect to the relationship, that is, to be devoted, honest and respect the integrity of the other. Both can be people who are very prone to stress and have somewhat workaholic attitudes, but that is where they can support each other so that one party does not have all the burdens. They may have issues opening up to the idea of ​​being helped, but with patience it can be overcome. Both will seek to fulfill their responsibilities in the relationship. For them it is crucial to feel that they contribute to their partner's life, that they contribute something useful and good, they have the idea of ​​supporting each other and being, more than anything, a team that empowers each other.
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══🩶Saturn in the 7th house🩶══
The commitment that you feel for this relationship and both of you is really great, you see the other as a great match, as a person with whom you see yourself settling down and someone who not only shares values ​​with you regarding relationships, but who you know would put all of themselves to fulfill the responsibilities that this entails. You both may face challenges in your relationship, but these can also strengthen your bond over time. They are reliable, stable and very understanding of each other, which favors coexistence. Both will take the relationship very seriously and, although they may be very cautious when opening up to each other, as time progresses, trust will be built. Both of them can be very independent people in their daily lives, but they know that they can rely on each other.
══🩶Saturn in the 8th house🩶══
It is very likely that both of them carry certain trust issues, so in this relationship they will take very seriously the task of reassuring their partner and constantly showing the necessary loyalty, trust and transparency. You can both help each other work through their insecurities, which will help you grow a lot together. There may be a need to work together to overcome fears or inhibitions in the area of ​​intimacy in its different senses. They will provide each other with strength and stability in times of crisis, supporting each other to create and start over even if they doubt or fear. They will not mind knowing each other's hidden sides, in fact, they will seek to do so in order to understand and love them better. They will not want the other to deal with all their problems alone
══🩶Saturn in the 9th house🩶══
They can bring more realism to the other's way of seeing life, they will bring structure to their aspirations and dreams and they will help each other keep their feet firmly on the ground. They will begin to take seriously many things that were previously unimportant or seen as superficial. You will get to know deeper sides of each other and there can be great spiritual growth in each other. This couple will work hard to have a greater understanding of each other, to understand them deeply and to share mutually meaningful things. Both will feel a great purpose regarding the relationship, seeing it as something fruitful that provides what they expected and wanted in a relationship [whether it is love or friendship]. It is very likely that both will strive to share similar goals and visions, or at least include the other in their owns.
══🩶Saturn in the 10th house🩶══
They both stand out for being very success-oriented people and that is something that anyone can notice. Both may fear failure, including in the relationship, so they will never have problems trying and working to improve the relationship. They both see each other in the long term and the conviction with which they both see themselves as the one may surprise you. The couple can be seen as responsible and reliable, and can be a symbol of companionship and support for others who can see them as a relationship with many chances of success and durability. This positioning can bring significant achievements if the couple works together in a disciplined and focused manner. They will be able to move forward no matter the difficulties they face as a couple, this placement gives them resilience and the willingness to guide the other and be there for them if necessary.
══🩶Saturn in the 11th house🩶══
This couple will plan a lot in the long term and will see their future together seriously, and not boring or monotonous, but they will take their aspirations and desires seriously to build a future alongside each other. Both will help and influence the other to seek out and meet people who will help them progress, as well as get away from those who bring them down. Both can greatly empower each other, helping the other recognize their individual value.They will mutually support each other to materialize everything they want both inside and outside the relationship. They will be a firm support for each other and will go hand in hand after any adversity that comes their way. Both of you can become more responsible, ambitious and selective with the people you surround yourself with after being together.
══🩶Saturn in the 12th house🩶══
You both need a moment alone with each other to recharge your batteries and feel better. They will mutually encourage and accompany each other to face fears and insecurities. Both will have that willingness to make sacrifices for the other, and it will not cost them to give a lot for the other. There is a strong sense of devotion and dedication. Both may have tense visions of love for things that people around them experienced, which will make them somewhat closed at first. This couple will work hard to support and understand each other on a deeper level. They will bring meaningful lessons to each other's lives and teach each other to be more empathetic and understanding. There may be a fear of arguing and making others uncomfortable that may lead them to not be very clear or communicative when there is an issue. Trust will be crucial.
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mr-ys-phantasma · 2 months ago
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🌙 Moon Phases 🌙
Agatha Harkness X Fem!Reader
Plot: You have a past with Agatha, one as old as your ages. Your roads often met, but more than once, she left you behind. Now, once again, your paths cross, but this time; it is intentional.
Taking place around Episode 2 of the series. Might continue it if it gets popular or leave it as a small one-shot. Give it a shot and let me know
You were a rare type of witch, one whose path not many chose to follow; but not you. The very same moon you observed and talked to as a child was the very same source of your power.
The very same moon shapes you as you grow, your moods and natures shifting like the never-ending phases. Both light and darkness resided within your soul, one path sometimes more tempting than the others and vice versa.
It was under that that you learnt to do your first spell, that you practised your Latin, and it was under the same moon that you met her...
Agatha Harkness
Under the full moon had you gathered with her and her coven, to praise the Godess around the fire; bodies void of any clothing as your magic grew wild and free.
After that, you met again and again; sometimes by mere coincidence.
Your ever shifting nature was what had kept others away, keeping you confined to a small neutral space between two covens but never able to truly join any of them. Your complex thoughts that guided your kindness and also led you down dangerous paths became a mystery for Agatha to explore... to study.
The meetings became intentional, the unique aspect of your mind was something she welcomed and encouraged; the very first sparkle between you.
Sometimes your sweet words and smiles seemed to melt whatever ice was threatening to form around her heart; seemed to bring light into days her thoughts were too dark.
And sometimes, your mischievous nature assisted her with crazy plans; noses buried behind stolen scrolls of forbidden magic.
During those moments, sparks always seemed to fly between the two of you. Sometimes, they were small, hiding behind brushing hands and contagious smiles. Other times, those sparks threatened to ignite an immortal fire; fueled by long touches, lustful looks, and forbidden secret kisses.
It never went too far, and it never became something permanent. You learnt to live with it, also unsure if this could ever work out or if it was a momentarily escape from the solitary life chosen for you.
You never judged her decisions but never tried to change her either, even when you could see the dark path she favoured was becoming too much.
You opened your door for her when she first fel like an outcast, and again after, she had taken down her coven. You offered her your house and a change of clothes, a warm tea and a shoulder to rant.
Yet when she told you of her plans, when she asked you to join her... you politely declined. This was not the path you wished to take, and whether she was hurt by your words or not, remained a mystery; true feelings hidden behind sarcastic words and fake smiles.
Eventually your paths parted and the years passed by. However, fate seemed to draw you back to one another like two halves of a whole; supernatural powers trying to keep you together.
It never lasted for long.
Your door was always open and sometimes, those old sparks seemed to reappear but by then, Agatha's mind had been taken by a need for power.
Once again, you did not follow, only watched her walk away from you for yet one more time. More than once, you thought to call her out, say you changed your opinion and join her; or even try to shift her goal... but you never did.
Like the silent moon watching over the earth, you did that... just watch. You became her light when she needed you but never dared to take the next step; your conflicted thoughts and emotions stood in the way.
Somewhere in the future, she stopped showing up, and you wondered if she had settled down at last or someone had taken her down. Both scenarios made your heart ache, and thus, you chose to forget; lock away any memories you had once created.
It worked and you continued your solitary life, never setting for a place too long and never looking at someone the same way you would look at Agatha.
Now, you had a small business right beneath your little apartment. It was not something fancy, simple crystals and tarot cards for those interested. You also offered star and even zodiac readings, being perhaps what truly ade you famous amongst your customers.
The moon always guided you, the stars spoke to you even when placed on a simple imaginary map. The houses dividing the sky exposed their secrets to you; both of past and future.
So it was no wonder all kinds of people walked through your door; some more believers than others but all with the same curiosity about their lives.
Yet you did not expect that one calm day, the bell above the door would ring and a familiar face would step into the shop.
"Hello, Hon" the husky female voice you had almost forgotten reached your ears like the sweetest melody.
Your breath caught in your throat for a moment, before your mask settled back into place. "Agatha" you greeted her back, offering her the courtesy of standing up from the wooden chair you occupied behind an old worn out desk.
Her blue eyes locked onto yours with the same intensity they had all those years, invisible flames dancing behind your irises; threatening to mix and burn everything to the ground.
As you stared into the face you often searched for amongst the stars, that little locked chest at the back of your mind was forced open. The memories you had suppressed all those years flooded your mind, making your heart beat twice as fast as both happiness and pain dominated you.
"It has been too long" Agatha said, her voice acting like a beacon that saved you from drawing in your emotions. "Missed me?"
Her signature smirk was still there, eyes flickering with mischief and tempting pink lips stretching faintly; yours for the taking, if you dared to step closer.
It was then you noticed that someone had one with her. A teenage boy, stood tall behind her; trying to observe some crystals but his eyes often lingered to you.
You didn't know whom this boy was but your mind rushed to scenarios, wondering if he was her son; the product of love with someone other than you. Even if not by blood, Agatha had chosen it; letting him take your place after she got tired of you turning down her offers.
You were not sure and did your best to remain calm, not let anything show and not lose control of yourself. Your mind was both your blessing and your curse, its mood as uncontrollable and unpredictable as the rising tide; controlled by an ethereal power far beyond your reach.
Agatha seemed to understand where your gaze lingered, the teenage boy feeling slightly uncomfortable under the vague expression casted in your eyes.
She rolled her eyes at the drama. "He is my pet, not much of an importance" she explained dryly and then sent a warning glare to the boy, ensuring he would not utter a word.
The situation was delicate, it needed proper handling. If it was up to her, she would have left him in the car, one window barely open for some air but she couldn't.
Well, she could try but the boy was persistent and at that moment; Agatha did not truly think him being there would change something.
Considering how welcoming you always had been over the course of centuries, how considerate you have been of her well-being and how willing you were to help; even when a part of you clearly wanted to stop her.
"What do you want?" You managed to ask, your voice sounding as cold as you wished it to be.
The moon was not yet full, the tide had not fully risen and there was still power to hold everything at bay.
Her timing could not have been better and something told you, that she knew it. Never having forgotten how unique your thoughts were and how they matched the white moon that offered its light when the two of you met in secret.
"I plan to walk down the road, you see. And I am in need of a coven" she said simply, making it hard for you to detect whether she was even slightly affected by your meeting after so long. "Are you in?" She asked next, not giving you much time to debate.
The clock at the wall was ticking in sync with your beating heart as you processed an answer.
Perhaps this one should be different from all the others... just this once.
.
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
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doberbutts · 5 months ago
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❗️❗️ This is asked entirely in good faith. This post is intended to open dialogue and help with solidarity and understanding. ❗️❗️
I would like to hear specifically from intersex people how the system of perisexism/interphobia uniquely targets and affects you. Things that you feel other demographics do not experience. Reblogs and replies are very encouraged! If you would prefer, you could dm or send an ask to be added anonymously by me.
This is in the spirit of wanting to understand. I am listening. I encourage all perisex people to not speak on this topic and let intersex people do the talking here. Reblog the post to spread it, but please say nothing.
Any and all people who are intersex are encouraged to participate. This is not agab-locked. No matter your official diagnosis status, or your specific variation, if you are intersex, this post is for you. Even if you have already posted on the transgender posts, you may still post here. Your thoughts and opinions are welcome here.
This is not bait to start a fight. I will block without hesitation anyone who is actively being a shithead on this post. I want to hear and uplift your voices by getting it directly from you.
Click this to access the trans fem and trans women version of this post.
Click this to access the trans masc and trans men version of this post.
Click this to access the nonbinary version of this post.
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nhlclover · 5 months ago
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ALONE | ADAM FANTILLI
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summary: after feeling isolated by the lack of support from your own family and friends during your pregnancy, you found a sense of belonging among adam's friends
warnings: pregnancy, technically teen pregnancy, use of made up people who do not exist irl
word count: 1.33k
You had never felt so alone.
When you found out you and Adam were expecting, you were over the moon. It wasn’t in your plans as a couple, but the two of you were more than ready to begin your family. The initial shock quickly turned into joy as you imagined the future together, holding your little one in your arms, and sharing the excitement of each new milestone.
However, when you told those close to you, your friends and family, their reactions were not what you had hoped for. Your parents had been disappointed, worried about what those in the community would think about them now that their daughter was a teenage mom. Their choice of words left you feeling like a failure. Your mother’s disapproving gaze and your father’s silence were more hurtful than any words could be. They seemed more concerned about their reputation than the new life you were bringing into the world.
When you turned to your friends, hoping that their reactions would be supportive and at least slightly better than those of your parents, you were left hurt and alone. They either distanced themselves or openly criticized your decision to keep the baby. The whispers behind your back, the judgmental glances, and the sudden exclusion from social gatherings cut deeper than you could have imagined. It felt like you were being punished for your happiness.
It seemed like everyone had an opinion, and none of them were supportive. The isolation was overwhelming, and each day felt heavier than the last. The weight of their disappointment and judgment bore down on you, making the already challenging journey of pregnancy feel even more daunting.
Now, at seven months pregnant, you had been navigating the rocky path of motherhood almost completely alone. Adam had been a rock throughout the entire thing, his unwavering love and support providing you with some solace in the storm of criticism. He held you through the nights of tears and doubt, whispering reassurances that you were strong. His family, although from a distance, were also supportive, sending messages of encouragement and little gifts for the baby.
However, even their unwavering support felt like it wasn’t enough. The absence of your own family’s acceptance left a void that was impossible to fill. You longed for your mother’s comforting words, your father’s steady presence, and the camaraderie of your friends. Instead, you faced a future that seemed more uncertain and isolated than you had ever imagined.
The journey of impending motherhood, which should have been filled with joy and anticipation, was overshadowed by the loneliness that engulfed you. Each day was a struggle to stay positive and to believe that you could be the mother your child deserved. As the due date approached, the fear of the unknown mixed with the pain of rejection, making you wonder if you could ever truly overcome the loneliness that had become your constant companion.
So when Adam suggested you go to brunch with his friends, your anxiety skyrocketed. You didn’t know these people well, and the thought of facing more judgment was almost too much to bear. Yet, Adam had assured you they were kind, understanding people, so you trusted him.
As you arrived at the quaint restaurant, your heart pounded in your chest. This morning had been a better one in terms of morning sickness and pain, which gave you a sense of ease that maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, but still, your anxiety loomed.
Adam gave your hand a quick squeeze as you approached the table, most of his friends already seated. You were greeted by a melodic chorus of friendly voices and warm smiles. Adam’s friends and their partners welcomed them eagerly, pulling out chairs and making space for them at the crowded table.
“Y/n, right?” the girl next to you asked.
“Yes, hi,” you said softly, your voice trembling slightly as you took a seat.
“Adam’s told me so much about you, it’s so nice to finally put a face to a name!” she said sweetly. “I’m Lilly.”
Her warmth and genuine smile were a stark contrast to the reactions you had grown accustomed to. You felt a small spark of hope flicker within you, and you mustered a polite smile in return. "It's nice to meet you, Lilly."
As the conversation flowed around you, you found yourself slowly relaxing. The group was vibrant and welcoming, chatting animatedly about their lives, sharing jokes, and asking you questions that made you feel included rather than judged. Lilly in particular seemed to take you under her wing, engaging you in conversation and making sure you felt comfortable.
"So, how are you feeling?" Lilly asked gently, her eyes filled with genuine concern. "I know it must be tough sometimes."
You hesitated, unused to such kindness, but her sincerity made it easier to open up. "It's been challenging," you admitted, feeling a lump in your throat. You glanced at Adam, who gave you an encouraging nod. He’d kept an eye on you the entire evening, making sure you were staying comfortable and making sure you didn’t want to leave. He’d truly been amazing through everything. "But Adam has been wonderful, and I'm trying to stay positive."
“When are you due?” Tyler asked.
“Early August,” you replied, your voice steadier now.
“That's so exciting! Have you thought about names yet?” Sarah asked, her enthusiasm contagious.
You and Adam exchanged a glance, and for the first time in a long while, you felt a genuine smile spread across your face. “We have a few ideas, but nothing set in stone yet.”
The weight on your shoulders seemed to lighten, as you felt that there was a developing support system that you hadn’t expected. As the brunch continued, the questions kept coming, but they were all filled with kindness and genuine interest. They asked about your cravings, your experience with morning sickness, and even shared funny stories from their own lives. You felt yourself relaxing, your earlier fears melting away.
“We're all here for you, you know," Lilly said at one point, her eyes sincere. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. We’d love to help now and after the baby arrives.”
You didn’t know if it was the overwhelming gratitude you were experiencing, or simply pregnancy hormones, but you found yourself getting emotional, tears brimming in your eyes. “Thank you. That means more than you know.”
Lilly gave you a sweet smile, reaching over and giving your hand that rested on the table a supportive squeeze. The meals came and went, stories were told, and Adam kindly paid for the tab. After you said your goodbyes and well-wishes, you walked to the car with Adam's arm around your shoulders.
“So…” Adam said hesitantly. “How was that?”
You let out a deep breath, a smile appearing on your lips. “They were amazing, Adam,” you said. “They’re so nice.”
You felt the pregnancy hormones coming back again, the tears now spilling over. Your emotions had been on a rollercoaster, with the highs and lows often blending into a confusing blur. After being abandoned by your friends and family, feeling like you were practically alone in this journey, the isolation weighed heavily on you. Each day had been a struggle, each moment a reminder of the support you lacked. The once-familiar faces that should have been by your side had turned away, leaving you to navigate this overwhelming experience in solitude.
But now, a shift was happening. You now finally felt like there were people on your side, people you could lean on and fill the void that had been left by those who had abandoned you.
Over the next few weeks, you began to see more of Adam’s friends. They checked in on you, invited you to small gatherings, and even helped you prepare for the baby. Lilly became a close friend, always there with a listening ear and helpful advice. Slowly but surely, the loneliness that had once seemed insurmountable began to ebb away.
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astroeleanor · 2 months ago
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Your MOST Dominant Planet (What it Says About You)
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Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s post. I’m feeling inspired to try something new, so I thought I’d share a brainstorming session with you. In this post, I’ll be diving into my thoughts on how your personal traits may be influenced by your most dominant planet.
🎃 Also, HALLOWEEN ASTRO READINGS are available! Spooky season calls for spooky readings. Grab yours HERE. ๋࣭ ⭑🕸🦇
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What is the Dominant Planet?
The Dominant Planet is the planet that forms the most aspects in your natal chart. It may be located in an angular house (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th), it could be part of a stellium or have strong dignity (domicile, exaltation). Your most dominant planet may also be conjunct the Ascendant, Sun, Chart Ruler or Moon.
How to Find it?
If you don't want to go through the hassle of analyzing each planet in your natal chart, use THIS online calculator to cut to the chase and find your most dominant planet.
☉ SUN DOMINANT ☉
✪ Leader, naturally takes charge in any situation, guiding others with confidence and authority, role model, sets a strong example for others to follow, often looked up to for their character and actions, carries a presence that naturally earns admiration from those around them, thrives in self-expression, whether through art, ideas, or leadership, always finding new ways to shine, has a strong sense of purpose, deeply driven by a clear understanding of their goals and what they want to achieve in life, uplifts and motivates others, serving as a beacon of hope, positivity, and strength, a source of motivation, moves through life with certainty in their abilities and decisions, ambitious, constantly striving for greatness, always aiming to reach new heights and accomplish more, lights up any room they enter, focused on achieving success, has a clear vision of what they want to accomplish, encourages others to find their own light, willing to lead the way into unknown territory, has a strong ability to impact others' thoughts and actions, shapes opinions and inspires change.
☾ MOON DOMINANT ☾
✪ Highly sensitive, deeply attuned to emotions, feels things intensely, intuitive, possesses a strong inner knowing, can sense what’s beneath the surface, great memory, retains details and experiences, rich inner world, creative, naturally imaginative, expresses themselves through art, writing, or other creative outlets, protective of their loved ones, provides emotional security to those they care about, makes others feel at home, has a nurturing presence that makes people feel safe, offers comfort and care, always available to lend a supportive ear or shoulder to lean on, deeply feels and understands others' emotions, empathetic, driven by a desire to help, soothe and support those they love, their home is a sanctuary, decisions and actions are often guided by deep emotional impulses and feelings, regularly looks inward, calming presence, has a soothing effect on others, highly values family, close relationships, and a deep sense of community, naturally assumes a role of caretaker, emotionally resilient.
♀︎ VENUS DOMINANT ♀︎
✪ Loves beauty in all its forms from art, nature, fashion, to personal expression and experiences, sweet and charming, naturally warm, friendly, and approachable, relationship-oriented, places high value on meaningful connections with others, magnetic energy, draws people in effortlessly, attracted to luxury and refinement, loves elegance, fine things, artistic and creative, talented in or deeply appreciative of music, visual arts, design, or aesthetics, strives for balance, peace, and beauty, the seeker of harmony, thrives on closeness and emotional intimacy, romantic at heart, diplomatic, skilled in smoothing over conflicts and finding common ground, moves through life with poise and tact, has a tendency to enjoy life's pleasures and comforts, sometimes to excess, often willing to compromise for the sake of peace and happiness, tolerant, patient, holds high hopes and dreams for love and connection, enjoys being surrounded by others, easily makes friends, and thrives in social settings.
☿ MERCURY DOMINANT ☿
✪ Always buzzing with new ideas, constantly thinking, brainstorming, coming up with fresh concepts and solutions, great communicator, excels at expressing thoughts clearly both verbally and in writing, enjoys putting thoughts into words, thrives in conversations and debates, always ready to share ideas and engage with others, has an insatiable appetite for knowledge and is always exploring new books, articles or information, curious, places logic above emotion, tends to rely on reason and intellect when making decisions, quick thinker, processes information rapidly often making connections or conclusions before others, easily adjusts to new situations, quick to think on their feet, pays close attention to specifics and details, analytical, loves breaking things down and examining them piece by piece to understand how they work, has a wide range of interests and talents, able to shift between different subjects or skills with ease, versatile, thrives in environments where they can share ideas and interact with others, always questioning and seeking mental stimulation, rarely satisfied with a single focus for long, mentally agile, able to juggle multiple thoughts, ideas, and tasks at once without feeling overwhelmed, enjoys discussing and debating ideas, often taking on different perspectives just for the sake of argument, has a sharp sense of humor and is often the first to make a clever remark or observation, multitasker, thrives when juggling multiple projects or interests, prefers to take an impartial, fact-based approach to decision-making, skilled at convincing others through logic and well-articulated point, persuasive.
♂︎ MARS DOMINANT ♂︎
✪ Action-oriented, ready to take initiative, prefers doing over waiting, driven, highly motivated to achieve their goals, values self-reliance, highly independent, forges their own path rather than follow others, fights for what they want, willing to overcome obstacles and challenges to achieve their desires, experiences passion and ambition intensely, naturally steps into leadership roles, confident in their ability to guide and inspire others, leadership-oriented, never shies away from confrontation or difficulty, competitive, thrives in environments where they can test their skills and prove themselves, has an abundance of physical and mental energy, not afraid to take risks, knows how to speak up and make their desires known, often acts quickly following their gut instincts without overthinking the consequences, impulsive, communicates with clarity rather than subtlety, thrives on challenges, finds excitement and motivation in overcoming obstacles and taking on difficult tasks, often enjoys sports, exercise or other activities that allow them to release their energy, relies on their internal drive, can be quick to anger or frustration, highly reactive, has a pioneering spirit, loves exploring uncharted territories, often leads the way for others.
♃ JUPITER DOMINANT ♃
✪ Wiser than their years, spiritually connected, naturally attuned to higher truths, seeks meaning and purpose in the universe, the mentor, enjoys guiding and teaching others, bringer of knowledge, thrives on sharing information, eager to help others grow, loves traveling mentally or physically, has a deep wanderlust, drawn to exploring new places, cultures and experiences around the world, constantly seeking to expand their horizons, the life-long learner, challenges the limits of what’s possible, seems to attract good fortune and opportunities effortlessly, lucky, sees the brighter side of things, has a love for big ideas and grand plans, constantly striving for more, visionary, sees the bigger picture, ahead of their time, thinks in expansive terms, generous, gives freely of their time, resources and knowledge, enjoys contemplating life’s big questions, open-minded, pushes themselves and others to grow, inspiring, encourages others to dream big and think outside the box, drawn to philosophy or academia, has a strong sense of morality and justice, is on a journey to discover deeper truths, both in themselves and in the world around them.
♄ SATURN DOMINANT ♄
Late bloomer, finds their true calling or achieves significant milestones later in life, developing at their own pace, responsible, takes their commitments seriously, always ensures that they meet obligations and follow through on promises, focused on self-improvement, seeks to better themselves through learning and self-reflection, grows wiser with age, accumulates knowledge and understanding over time, a trusted advisor to others, authoritative, has a commanding presence, appreciates systems and structures, values organization and frameworks that provide stability and efficiency, keeps their emotions under control, maintains composure even in challenging situations, prioritizes logic over emotions, has a strong sense of self-control, takes a realistic approach to problem-solving, pragmatic, favors practical solutions over idealistic notions, understands that growth and achievement take time, willing to wait for results and not rush the process, grounded, provides a sense of calm and reliability to those around them, resilient, learns from failures and uses them as stepping stones for future success, often finds themselves in a guiding role, shares their wisdom and experiences to help others navigate challenges, approaches life with a level of gravity, focuses on the deeper implications of their actions, strategic thinker, develops well-thought-out plans before acting, prioritizes future goals and outcomes, weighs risks carefully, cautious, avoids impulsive decisions, exhibits a calm demeanor in the face of challenges.
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Thank you for taking the time to read my post! Your curiosity & engagement mean the world to me. I hope you not only found it enjoyable but also enriching for your astrological knowledge. Your support & interest inspire me to continue sharing insights & information with you. I appreciate you immensely. • 🕸️ JOIN MY PATREON for exquisite & in-depth astrology content. You'll also receive a free mini reading upon joining. :)
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
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cat-in-a-mech-suit · 3 months ago
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Transmasculinity Throughout Time: Greek Mythology
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This is a relief of Caeneus from Greek Mythology getting beaten into the ground by centaurs with trees. He is one of three trans men in Greek myths that I will be discussing! Not only am I looking at actual historical trans men, but examples of transmasculine figures in myths and stories too. The next one will be FtM crossdressing and transmasculine longings written in Shakespeare - I am still wondering though, what other examples of transmasculinity in fictional myths and stories are out there?
Reiterating, I am not any kind of authority on history and am getting my information from accessible internet resources- if you want a source on something specific, ask - many sources are slightly to very problematic in how they talk about gender and transmasculinity so I prefer to not post them directly but will give them in the comments on request if you want to look into something. For this post, I am just going off of Wikipedia. Anyways, anything I post in Transmasculinity Throughout Time is my own opinions, I will talk casually and formally (I don’t really distinguish formality due to autism), and I will use the pronouns of my best judgement. If you don’t like this series for any reason, cool, don’t interact. If you like it and want to give suggestions, cool. I would like to bring transmasculine histories to light in my own way, and welcome a curious and open minded discussion.
In Greek myths, there are three trans men who are known of: Caeneus, Iphis, and Leucippus. If you read the following about Caeneus, please be aware of the content: specifically, TW for SA. Skip to Iphis and Leucippus after the break if you’d prefer to avoid it.
Caeneus was the child of Elatus and Hippea. He was born a girl, but was transformed into an invulnerable man after being raped by Poseidon. In some accounts, he asked to be transformed to avoid pregnancy. In others, it is simply so he doesn’t suffer the same thing again. This narrative is very interesting to me. Some modern sanism and queerphobia manifests as the idea of transmasculinity, lesbianism, or queerness of any kind as a response to sexual trauma. But Caeneus wasn’t a one dimensional victim turned oppressor. He was the strongest warrior of his day after he was transformed, and became king of the Lapiths. Somehow, he angered the gods, exactly how is unclear - it is suggested that it could have been worshipping or encouraging others to worship a spear instead of the gods. As punishment, they sent centaurs after him.
The most popular story involving Caeneus is actually his battle with the centaurs, not his gender transformation. It was called centauromachy, a battle between Lapiths and centaurs. Because he was invulnerable, none of the centaurs weapons worked on him, and he was difficult to defeat - to kill him, they had to actually bury him in the earth by beating him down with stones and uprooted trees. These centaurs were transphobic too. They said:
“Shall I put up with one like you, O Caeneus?
For you are still a woman in my sight.
Have you forgot your birth or that disgrace
by which you won reward—at what a price
you got the false resemblance to a man?!
Consider both your birth, and what you have
submitted to! Take up a distaff, and
wool basket! Twist your threads with practiced thumb!
Leave warfare to your men!” (Ovid, Metamorphoses).
“Transandrophobia isn’t real” “trans men have no historical presence” Meanwhile greek mythology be like… anyways.. So .. Then.. the centaurs were defeated by him! He was invulnerable. But they could still beat him into the ground with uprooted trees. It is described in Races’ translation of Argonautica, Apollonius of Rhodes: “They rallied against him, but were not strong enough to push him back nor to kill him, so instead, unbroken and unbending, he sank beneath the earth, hammered by the downward force of mighty pine trees.” This makes me think about how transmasculinity is buried in history.. Onto the next myths!
Iphis and Leucippus both have very similar stories. Iphis was born of Ligdus and Telethusa. Ligdus only wanted a son, and said he would only let the child live if it was male. The goddess Isis asked Telethusa to keep the child regardless of how it is born, and promised her aid in the future. Iphis grew up raised as a boy, and was “officially” transformed by Isis before marrying a girl, Ianthe. From Ovid, Metamorphoses:
“Her face seemed of a darker hue, her strength seemed greater, and her features were more stern. Her hair once long, was unadorned and short. There is more vigor in her than she showed in her girl ways. For in the name of truth, Iphis, who was a girl, is now a man!”
Leucippus’ tale is almost the same, he was born of Lamprus and Galatea, Lamprus would only accept a male child, and Galatea concealed Leucippus’ birth sex from her husband, giving him a masculine name and referring to him as her son. Upon puberty, he was changed physically into a man by the goddess Leto. This story actually inspired a male rite of passage in Phaistos dedicated to Leto, and inspired a wedding custom where brides would lie next to an image or statue of Leucippus before weddings. Two customs in an ancient greek city being inspired by a story about a trans man is an important and cool fact methinks.
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truepsychicbedtimestories · 4 months ago
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A Personal Observation I’ve Made About The Agere Community
I haven't been very active on the Tumblr side of the agere community for quite some time, but now that I'm interacting with the community again, I've noticed how white-centric the agere community can sometimes be. Granted, a lot of online communities tend to have that problem, but it’s especially noticeable in the agere community.
Now, I don't want to assume that all age regressors are automatically racist because they don't make content that specifically caters to regressors of color, but I have noticed that a lot of general posts about age regressors tend to assume that the regressor in question is white. They don't really take into account the different cultural practices, holidays or hobbies that might be more relatable for regressors of color, and tend to assume that every regressor is a white American who grew up in the suburbs.
The optimist in me wants to believe that these are simply oversights on the part of people unfamiliar with different cultures and their customs. But in my opinion, to make the agere community a much more inclusive and welcoming place, more people should take into consideration the fact that age regression is a universal thing. No two regressors are exactly the same, whether it's the food they eat or the holidays they celebrate.
Diversity is what makes the world so special, and I think the agere community should celebrate it more often! The best thing about a community is learning more about the people in it, where they come from and what makes their culture so unique. A little open-mindedness can go a long way, and can certainly help regressors of color feel less like outsiders.
Obviously, I realize I cannot speak on behalf of every single age regressor of color. These are just my personal thoughts on the matter. If anyone has their own two-cents they’d like to chip in with, feel free! I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts.
[White age regressors are allowed and encouraged to reblog this, but please don’t add any commentary that’d be less than helpful]
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curioushetero · 4 months ago
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Best gay encouragement video...
...is from my opinion made by Tara Tainton: "Be Your True Gay Self"! It's not any sort of porn, but she talks to you as to a human being. She cares. She really wants you to be your true gay self...
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msmk11 · 2 months ago
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Everything to Everyone
James Potter x fem!reader
WC: tbh I don’t know, I just raw-dogged this in the app
CW: ANGST, HURT-COMFORT, panic attack, r is very sad and doesn’t take care of herself
Summary: you can’t keep doing this
A/n: Don’t know what this is; might be garbage; but this is just a reflection of my brain and my desperate need for someone like to james to comfort me rn; I need to be someone’s everything 😭
<>
It’s all too much, trying to be everything for everyone all of the time. It consumes you- the need to help others, to serve them in any way possible. To be their shoulder to cry on. The arms to hold them. The voice cheering them on. The hands to build them castles in the sky.
Perhaps it’s founded in your insatiable hunger to be well-liked, loved even.
Maybe it’s rooted in your fear that everyone will leave you, and that maybe maybe, if you try hard enough, they won’t.
Regardless of its cause, your involuntary obligation to others has pushed you to the edge, leaving you broken and exhausted. You want to cry out for help, for someone to notice, but they don’t. It’s not their fault. You know it isn’t. They can’t read your mind for goodness sake. But still, you wish they’d notice. To stop and think about you for a moment.
Today is no different, your list of promises to others longer than the one to yourself. Although it’s a Saturday, your day is jam packed with plans. First, you’ve promised Peter that you’ll make a quick trip with him to Hogsmeade this morning to pick up fire whiskey for the party tonight. After that you’re due for tea with Mary at Madame Pudifoots before you have to rush back to Hogwarts to meet Remus and Lily for a study session in the library. And fuck- at some point you’ll have to stitch up a hole in Marlene’s jersey and braid Sirius’ hair for the game. And the game. You’ve promised James, your lovely boyfriend and captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team, that you’ll be there. He needs his “lucky charm.”
You’re down in the common room at 10 on the nose, sleep still heavy on your eyes despite the time. Peter ambles down the stairs a few minutes later, his big jacket wrapped tightly around him.
The cold air outside is bitter on your nose and burns your cheeks. You bundle your face further into the collar of your coat and wish you would’ve worn a scarf. As you walk, Peter yaps on to you about the girl from his Divination class that he has a crush on. You’re enthusiastic that he has a crush, and that he feels comfortable enough to share it with you, but your heart hangs heavy in your chest regardless. You can’t quite muster up the genuine smile you usually give to everyone, and instead settle for a dim but encouraging one.
After you triple check that Peter can carry all of the fire whiskey back to the castle, you trudge across the way to Madame Pudifoots. Mary is already nestled into a corner when you arrive and she waves brightly at you. While the warmth of the shop and your friend is welcome, the thick perfume in the air and the sweet array of biscuits and cookies makes your head ache and stomach churn. Much like Peter, the brunette does most of the talking, catching you up on gossip around the castle. You give a lot of dramatic gasps, wide eyes, and giggles, but they’re as fake as the flowers on the table before you.
By the time you arrive to the library with what feels like a whole ton of books slung over your shoulder, you think you could drop dead from exhaustion. You find Lily and Remus in a heated discussion about some charms theory and wonder if they’d even notice if you slipped out. Of course, Lily catches your eye in the next second and waves you over. She quickly brings you into the debate, and you give the redhead your two cents. Your opinion, it seems, sets off a whole other conversation. Luckily, this time, you can just tune them out, instead focusing on the words of the book before you. Although now that you’re looking at it, all of the words seem to be swimming together in a blurry mess. And, is that a wet spot on the page? Are you crying? You reach up and, sure enough, another hot tear trails down your face. Panicked, you bend down under the guise of tying your shoe and wipe them away quickly. Remus and Lily can’t see you crack. They can’t.
You know that it’s all really getting to you when Sirius lets out more than one yelp as you do his hair. He complains that you’re going to pull it all out, and perhaps he isn’t wrong. You loosen your grip slightly but wince when you brush over one of the fresh cuts on your hands from sewing up Marlene’s jersey. The bandaid covers the cut, but doesn’t dull the slight throbbing pain in your palm. The pain and Sirius’ whining makes you want to yell at him and tell him to do it himself. But you don’t, and instead stay quiet. When his hair is finished, you peck his forehead in apology and boost his vanity.
“Oi, Black! Trying to steal my girl, are you?”
You nearly start bawling on the spot at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice. Relief and calm wash over you as you feel his strong arms wrap around you. Instinctively, you lean back into his chest and sigh, closing your eyes.
You’re certain that Sirius and James are bantering back and forth some more but you tune them out in favor of enjoying the vibrations of your boyfriend’s voice through his chest. It’s pleasant enough that you think you could fall asleep.
You’re only startled out of your stupor when James’ soft lips press gentle kisses to each of your eyelids. Your eyes flutter open and you smile at him softly.
“Hi angel,” he greets, pecking your lips.
You return the kiss eagerly and James chuckles.
“Ready for the game tonight?”
You’d forgotten about the game momentarily, but now it comes rushing back. The thought of having to do anything else besides just lay in your boyfriend’s arms makes you want to cry. You swallow the lump in your throat, “of course, Jamie. And I’ll have your jersey on like usual.”
He gives you another quick peck, “my lucky charm.”
And then he’s moving away from you, far too fast for your taste, and you nearly whine. He collects his water and broom and turns back to you with a grin.
“See you at the game, love.”
You only whisper out a goodbye before he’s gone.
The game has been going on for far too long and you’re beginning to lose all feeling in your extremities. Like usual, James is playing great. And you’re proud of him, you really are. But you don’t want to be here anymore. You just want to lay in your bed and close off the world, rotting away in a puddle of self-induced misery.
But this fact in itself makes you feel worse than you already do. The guilt of it all- of being fake, insecure, and unsupportive- is eating you alive. Your friends deserve better. James deserves better.
It’s too much, too much, too much. And you feel like you’re suffocating.
So you’re beyond relieved when Gryffindor catches the snitch and you can leave. Though you normally stay to congratulate James, you don’t have it in you to do it. You figure you’ll see him later, so you rush back to the castle, trying to escape the notice of your friends.
While your bed calls to you most, living in a dorm doesn’t promise any privacy. So you go to the only place you know will- the room of requirement.
It accommodates you enough. The room has shifted into a remarkable replica of your bedroom back home. You collapse onto the bed instantly and your head barely hits the pillow before the sobs you’ve choked back all day finally escape you.
It’s like a dam breaking loose, a flood of emotions overcoming you. Sadness smashes into you like waves, guilt grips your throat tightly, choking you, anger heats your face, and self-loathing broils in your stomach. You can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t.
Why, why, why, why, why?
You’re so tired of giving, giving, giving. Being everything to everyone and nothing to yourself. Your body is a storm of emotions but your heart is the eye of the hurricane- silent and hollow.
You curl in on yourself, grabbing onto your legs tightly, trying to grip any sense of reality you have left. But your body shakes and your hands slip. It does little to ground you and you’re lost in another dimension, another reality. You can’t breathe, nothing feels real, and the world feels like it’s ending.
Nothing, nothing, nothing, everything, everything, everything.
“Angel, you gotta breathe for me.”
A voice breaks through your fog but you can’t focus in on what it’s saying.
“Baby, my love, look at me. You gotta take a breath.”
Through your shaking and tears you barely make out James’ figure. And when your eyes clear a little you see his eyes. It’s the first real thing you sense again, and you grasp onto it desperately. His hazel eyes stare at you, so calmly, and you get lost in them.
“Angel can you take a deep breath?”
You try to breathe but fail, only spluttering out short, shallow breaths.
“Not quite, my love. Here, match my breathing.”
James grabs your hand and puts it on his chest. You feel him breathe in deeply and hear him blow air past his lips.
“Like this.”
Still shaking aggressively, you try to inhale. Your breath is harsh and unstable, but at least longer and deeper. You purse your lips and blow, just like James does.
“That’s my girl. You’re doing it.”
You continue to breathe in and out. Each time, your breath slowly gets better. Stronger.
“Good, good. Can you tell me what happened?”
You try to think about all that’s happened and your breathing picks back up again. Tears prick at your eyes and you shake your head.
“No, no, no. It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m sorry, we won’t talk about it.”
Your body trembles and you nod appreciatively.
“Do you want a hug?”
“Y-yeah.”
You’re too weak to move towards him, so James reaches out and draws you into his lap. You bury your face in his chest and grip onto his jersey sleeves tightly. His hands rub soothing circles on your back, soft, slow, and repetitive. He intermittently places kisses to your hair, mumbling words of praise and encouragement in between.
The world starts to come back to you.
The soft sounds of James’ breathing and the whoosh of your shirt material under his hand.
His smell, a mixture of cologne and sweat.
His hot breath on your ear as he whispers to you.
His red jersey smushed against your face.
The remnants of your salty tears on your lips.
“I- I can’t keep doing this,” you mumble out. It’s barely audible, your voice hoarse from your meltdown.
“What’d you say, angel?”
“I can’t keep doing this, Jamie.”
He pulls you away from his chest and looks deeply into your eyes, his own so filled with concern.
“You can’t keep doing what?”
“Being everything to everyone all of the time. I- I can’t. It’s too much. I give and help and say yes when I can’t. But, but I can’t do it anymore.”
“Oh, my love,” James sighs, hugging you impossibly tighter, “you don’t have to, not anymore. You don’t have to be anything to anyone besides yourself. They’ll love you regardless. I promise.”
“But what if they don’t?” You whisper, your voice thick with tears.
“I’ll love you regardless. You’re my light, my love, my life just because you’re you.”
He pauses thoughtfully.
“You don’t need to be everything to everyone when you’re already everything to me. And hopefully soon, you can be everything to yourself.”
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yuurei20 · 4 months ago
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Malleus Facts Part 31: Prefect (pt5)
During Firelit Sky Cater invites the group to take a photo with a melon that is supposed to make friendships last forever.
While the prefect agrees, Malleus refuses.
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Malleus will occasionally ask the prefect for their opinion, welcoming their input on a souvenir for Lilia, looking forward to the Port Fest performance with the prefect’s encouragement and to their thoughts on his cooking.
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Malleus asks the prefect for their age in a voice line where he then responds, “You’re practically a baby from my perspective.”
He also comments on their eyes “sparkling like a child’s.” Malleus wears his robes at the prefect’s request, and says they are welcome to touch his horns, but he “can’t guarantee what would happen to you if you did.”
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He also threatens them with lightning: “Have you considered I could use lightning to smite you where you stand?”
In another voice line he invites the prefect on a walk, encourages them to invite him to one of Ramshackle dorm’s dorm-wide meetings and to join him and Sebek in training.
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Malleus says it would be nice if the prefect could experience Halloween in Briar Valley some day, and also invites them to show them the blooming roses at the castle, should they ever pay a visit.
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Malleus invites the prefect on a boat ride during Firelit Sky, to the library, and encourages them to go to him if they need help with any part of an assignment, as, “I wasn’t expecting anything from you to start with.”
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In a Glorious Masquerade line he says there is never a dull moment with the prefect, and in another line he offers to test their strength against his own but changes his mind as “humans are fragile creatures.”
When Grim helps himself to the cotton candy at Malleus’ stall Malleus declares that he shall allow it, as Grim is the prefect’s companion.
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