#anxiety makes things 300x worse than they actually are honestly
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emblazons · 8 months ago
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forewarning - (not all that serious but still) medical / body + anxiety talk so please skip if that makes you uncomfortable
My health anxiety has been so thru the roof lately 😭
Seven weeks ago now I was told I had high blood sugar levels (diabetes + high blood pressure run in my family, and my dad had a minor heart attack at 55 just this last November) so it freaked me out enough to totally rearrange my diet (healthily) to repair it. Honestly it’s has gone really well—I feel so much more alert + workouts go better + I’ve lost 15 lbs of the 30-ish I plan to lose (sounds like a lot but also…I’m really tall lmao).
That said…I’ve just been stressed beyond belief about getting bloodwork done because I’m scared that despite all my positive changes—and even though it’s been such a short time relatively—something will come up? Which wouldn’t be an issue, except all this health concern has made the physical symptoms of my anxiety worse, which feeds this vicious spiral of anxiety causing physical symptoms causing anxiety.
I know logically that doesn’t track—and that I’m doing everything I should be doing + can feel and see a difference in my health—but…my brain will not accept it in the slightest. Like. I had a whole ass panic attack (shaking, crying, hyperventilating) at the doctors office over a regular checkup, which is why the blood work is happening in the first place LMAO
That combined with the fact that a week ago I cut my hand deep washing dishes (the space between my ring + pinky finger on my dominant hand) and had to go to the ER for stitches?? I’m all over the place over here, and while I know all of this is necessary + I can’t control if I get seriously sick anyway…I’m just fucking STRESSED.
Anxiety is the worst. Especially white coat syndrome.
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