#anw new wave

[grennefoam]

my go-to flavor of benthan is to portray Ethan as extremely tired and reticent; he's a vintage car engine that was forced to keep running because a/people expect him to keep running and working and being responsible and b/he expects himself to be responsible for pretty much everything he can care for. he's both macho and a princess. he's a self-sufficient tool of the narrative. he's larger than life. he's constantly beaten up. he's cursed with competency. he has one (1) rebellious phase and it fucked him up so bad it made him the way he is today. he acts like he's not 5'7. meanwhile Benji is the one bearing the amount of emotional clarity enough to power a team of 5 equally, disastrously, emotionally-constipated people. people thought he was polite and somewhat sane but in fact the most cracked of the two. he's the largest Ethan's simp. he's constantly nervous. he's a great liar. he is somehow more of a mystery than Ethan. he's a key and a magnet to pretty much every single emotionally-constipated person he's unlucky enough to come across. he has either a 0 Luck or a 10 Luck moment and there's no in-between

[cheri-2047]

Helloooo do you write for aventurine from hsr?

If you do, would it be possible to request an aventurine x gn reader where he tries to comfort the reader who has religious trauma? If that's a little too complicated then something like aven trying to comfort the reader when they were suddenly reminded about their trauma from parents.

I'm really just desperately trying to make myself feel better 😭 anw the decision is still up to you <3 I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope that you stay safe and healthy, take care!! 💞💐

IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG 😭 I LOST MOTIVATION TO WRITE ANYTHING 😞😞 I’d love to write this for you but I’m not so sure on what religious trauma is so I focused on reader getting triggered by their parents instead, I hope that’s okay. Please don’t hesitate to comment if I mischaracterized him, this is based off what I see online since I don’t play hsr, thank you!

Aventurine comfort:

TAGS: slight mentions of self harm, hair pulling (out of stress) angst, fluff and comfort at the end

CHARACTERS: Aventurine

You were on your way home after meeting up with your parents. It’s been awhile since you last saw them so you thought you’d pay them a visit.

They welcomed you with open arms and were very glad that you came over, your mother excitedly sharing new stories of what’s happened while you moved away and your father just simply listening to you two.

Everything was smooth sailing, you had fun with them, sharing laughs and all until it all went down the drain.

“haha…” you chuckled it off. You hated hearing about the incident that had happened. Your parents brushed it off by now as a joke, but to you it was anything BUT that.

you continued to catch up to them, holding up a smile to get away the memories that ran through your brain.

stop stop stop

You clenched your hands tightly, continuing to laugh along with the “jokes” your parents made. You couldn’t stop thinking about it now, everything that happened, everything that you worked so hard to forget, all of it GONE just because of a few simple words.

“I might be home a bit late sweetheart, please don’t stay up waiting for me. Love you”

Your phone buzzed, a message from your boyfriend, Aventurine.

perfect.

You took this to your advantage, deciding it was a good excuse.

“Ah I need to go home, sorry mama, urgent things at work.”

You made a white lie. You knew it was a bad thing to lie, it would make you a sinner, but you would do anything right now to get away from that so called ‘home’

“I hope you visit again, we love you”

Your father kissed you on the forehead, before both waving off.

You quickly shuffled to your car, driving as fast as you can away from your parent’s home. You were thankful for your boyfriend’s text, not only can you have alone time but you also were able to lie with getting home.

You drove faster, the music louder, anything to try and get the flooding memories away. You clenched the wheel tightly, taking rough turns, completely ignoring your surroundings.

shut up shut up shut up shut up

please.

You reached your home, running to your bedroom, your safe place.

You opened the television, had your snacks around you and all but for some reason, nothing would work. The thoughts still lingered at the back of your mind, the unspoken memories, the things you’ve tried to hard to forget.

Little did you know, you ended up spiraling. Your eyes on the TV, your mind elsewhere. It all came back too quickly, too much for you, the way you were treated, the rules you were forced to have, the life you so desperately wanted to escape, and it felt like you were back. “…y/n… y/n? Hey hey-“

you got started by the sound, only to realize you had been pulling your hair a lot,

“ah- y-you’re back earl-“

He wrapped his arms around you tightly, Aventurine pulled your hands away from your hair,

“Shh, shh… there there”

he rubbed his hand on your back, you leaned into his touch, before looking down to see blood on your fingernails. “What happened?”

Aventurine pulled away, cupping your cheeks and rubbing your hand, careful not to touch the skin you picked.

You didn’t even notice it, but you were crying. You had tears run down your face as if your eyes were waterfalls.

“I visited my parents today”

“mh…did they do anything?”

“they just…mentioned something and I got triggered and started spiraling I guess…”

as you spoke, aventurine started to wrap some bandages around your fingers.

“What did they say?”

(cutting this part off here so you can like…. Explain to him ykyk. He doesn’t know much of your trauma so u explain that you went through that before)

“Oh sweetheart…”

he wiped your tears and kissed you on the cheek, before hugging you and hurrying your face into the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know that’s ever happened, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to remember…”

he frowned and pulled you closer,

“I’m sorry…. If you’re up to going to your parents again, I’ll be here to accompany you. If you don’t, then that’s alright, I understand.”

he kisses the top of your head multiple times, hoping to sooth you with his affection.

He intertwined his hand with yours as he continues to speak reassuring words. “I am always here for you, alright my dearest? If you feel triggered by anything ever again, please don’t hesitate to tell me. I’m never ‘too busy’ for you or any of that. I love you”

you smile as he tells you how he has your back and how he will never leave and swear to always protect you. As you stop crying, he starts to clean up the snacks you left and comes back with more of your favorite foods.

“I got some before I left work”

he chuckles, lying next to you on the bed as you two stayed in the comfort of each others arms.

“I love you, I always will and I will never stop.”

He presses a kiss to your lips, pulling away to see your smile, which makes him smile as well.

A/N: OKAY… so I tried to make it like him as much as I could, I think he’s the type to gen take things seriously in scenarios like this, and the part where he like… pushes(?) your head to his neck for comfort, that means a lot since I hc him to not like being touched there or anyone touching him there either, so yeah. Thanks for requesting and I hope this is ok!! Comments are appreciated (for tips, if I mischaracterized or just to say hi) I hope ure okay dude, if you want more of these feel free to request

[purinfelix]

by midnight ⋆⭒˚｡⋆⊹₊ ⋆

pairing: carlos sainz x reader summary: you find yourself at one of the hottest parties on campus, eager to land a kiss before New Year strikes to avoid bad luck warnings: none w/c: 2.3k

a/n: i can't believe this is my first proper carlos fic even tho he's my fav driver - also is this a uni au ?? college au ?? sort of idk ... anw hope you all enjoy this and i wish you all a happy new year !! <333

As you stood in the corner of the dimly lit room, with no company other than the half-empty glass of red wine you’d been cradling for the past hour, you were beginning to question what you were doing at this New Year’s Eve party in the first place.

Of course, your mind was quick to point to the obvious reason - you had come because your friend asked you to. Because she had burst into your dorm room about a week ago with a sparkle in her eye and an invite to a party hosted by what she referred to as ‘high profile university elites’, which you understood as ‘popular kids who were yet to realise they’d already peaked in high school’. Nonetheless, her eagerness and incessant begging had somehow convinced you to trail along with her to the party and the numerous shopping trips preceding it.

You had to admit, there was a tiny part of you that was excited about it. You enjoyed going out and the occasional dance session but after an extremely stressful university semester you weren’t sure you could handle any more chaos or drama. But it was something different, something interesting - something to look forward to in the break routine your life had become. Especially since your friend seemed very insistent on the possibility of you meeting some new “hot singles”, and whilst the dig at your uneventful love life didn’t go unnoticed you let it slip considering it wasn’t entirely untrue.

Maybe it was this possibility that had urged you to tag along with her, despite not knowing any of the hosts or people she had listed out. However, if it weren’t for her constant reassurance that she would be at your side the entire night, you probably wouldn’t be standing at the front door of whatever unlucky house had been chosen to host the event, so dressed up you felt a little silly. Your hands trembled slightly at your sides and you felt stupid at how nervous you were. But, as the door opened for you by a boy who looked like he had already had too much to drink from his crooked tie, you swallowed your nerves and reminded yourself that even if you knew no on else, you had your friend to lean on.

At least, until a mere hour had passed into the party and she was nowhere to be found. She had told you she was going to go introduce herself to some other people and that she’d be back to meet you in the corner where she had left you. And the last you saw of her she had been standing a little too close to a guy you vaguely recognised from one of your marketing lectures, and hand ultimately decided best to leave her to enjoy herself - even if that meant awkwardly taking up space, biding your time, and avoiding eye contact with anyone.

Your friend had discussed at length, and much to your dismay, about how this wasn’t just any old New Year’s Eve party like one thrown at a frat house. Rather this was one organised by your university’s wealthiest, most popular, most talented students - which had been one of your biggest turn-offs from it initially. And as you leant against the corner of some vintage-looking wallpaper, you couldn’t help but observe the atmosphere that reeked of elitism, snobbery and daughter laughter. People around you chattered away without cares in the world, donning clothes that surely came from stores you weren’t wealthy enough to know of. Others danced in the centre of the dimly lit room, some moving with elegance and others waved their arms around, drunk on a mixture of whatever expensive bottles their peers had brought.

But, to your surprise, there was something - or rather someone - that managed to catch your eyes from the other side of the room. It was what seemed like the only other person not involved in some sort of conversation, dance circle, or the lips of whatever partner they had brought. And it seemed he had noticed you too by the way his deep brown eyes had locked onto yours, even in the shadowy lighting from where he sat on the cough. He was handsome, there was certainly no denying it, especially not when the eye contact and the slight quirk of his lips alone were enough to make your heart rate quicken. You took a shaky sip from your glass, watching as he ran a large hand through his dark hair that was styled in a way you could only describe as ‘princely’, the gold cufflinks on his shirt sleeve flashing as he did.

He’s way out of your league and your tax bracket, you remind yourself. But there’s something about the way this handsome stranger is looking at you that makes you feel compelled to him. Almost like he’s cast an invisible string around your waist and is slowly pulling you towards him. A grandfather clock in the corner tells you there’s less than half an hour until midnight and the strike of New Year’s, and until you can get out of here without missing too much. Half an hour to work up the courage to go up to him, talk to him, to do anything other than stand her paralysed under his intense, yet insanely attractive, gaze.

Your feet unstick themselves and go to take a step in his direction, until your friend appears suddenly around the corner, her hand already on your wrist. She’s talking to you about some people you “just have to meet”, half dragging you with her to the kitchen. But your eyes are still stuck on him, and he watches you go with an expression that’s equal parts amused and disappointed that your charged staring competition didn’t last longer.

You find yourself in a circle with three other people, forcing a smile on your face and trying your best to act as if you care while your friend introduces you to them. One’s an engineering major, the other in medicine, and the last you can’t even bother to remember, your brain busied with plans on how to get back to the lounge, and the handsome stranger. You nod incessantly as your new company drones on about final exams and papers, eager to have the conversation done with you.

“Well, seems like there’s not much time left until midnight,” one of them says, which catches your attention, and your friend laughs along.

“And you know what they say about a New Year’s kiss, hm?” she chimes in, “that failing to lock lips with anyone after the countdown will bring in a whole new year of loneliness!” She nudges your arm and you swallow the urge to make some excuse, settling on rolling your eyes with a resigned smile.

“You found the lucky guy yet?” the engineering major says, looking directly at you with a suggestive sort of look.

As if summoned by the question, you spot something out of the corner of your eye. A familiar tuft of dark hair snakes its way around the kitchen hallway - it’s him. Now that the two of you are standing you truly get a sense of how tall he is, and you can definitely see that the dark suit he’s wearing is doing his figure justice. He moves quickly, purposefully, as he pours himself another drink and is already making his way out of the kitchen. Though, not before looking back and shooting you a quick smile. The sight renders you incapable of speech and basic function, as you go to take a sip of your own drink and instead spill your glass’ remains onto your dress.

Your little circle erupts into groans and worried cries, your friend trying her best to laugh off the total fool you’ve made of yourself in front of them. Luckily though, it seems the handsome stranger didn’t stay long enough to witness your little accident, so you don’t mind too much as your friend ushers you off to one of the bathrooms, pushing past bodies that move along to the pulsing music. Your head throbs as your friend shoves you in and shuts the door behind her.

“I can’t believe you,” she sighs, grabbing handfuls of toilet paper and throwing them at you as you sit on the closed toilet seat, “that was so embarrassing, and you’ve completely ruined the dress we spent ages picking at.”

You clearly couldn’t care less as you dab at the large stain on your dress with indifference, as she paces back and forth and waves her hands around to express her frustration.

“It’s really not that big of a deal, they all seemed like assholes anyways,” you mutter. Your quip seems to calm her down as she takes a seat on the bathtub rim. She takes a moment to glance at her phone in her hand before letting out a tired sigh.

“And now there’s less than three minutes until midnight and neither of us is getting a New Year’s kiss.”

“There’s nothing keeping you in here with me, you know,” you say, a smile in your voice as you watch her expression turn hopeful.

“You really wouldn’t mind?”

“I mean, I don’t really want to spend New Year’s Eve alone but I don’t want you to as well, I think I’ll manage.”

She lets out a squeal, pulling you in for a quick hug whilst being careful not to get any of the red wine you’ve spilled on your dress onto hers.

“I’ll meet you outside in half an hour,” is the last thing she says to you before turning and leaving the bathroom to rejoin the crowd that’s formed to count down the seconds until midnight. It’s almost funny that you’re alone once more, only now with a gigantic red stain and under the harsh white light of this lavishly decorated bathroom. Sitting back against the toilet, you close your eyes and try your best to enjoy this moment of peace, and ignore the fact that this may just signal another year of loneliness - as your friend mentioned. You can hear the partygoers outside getting ready, pulling out tiny confetti canons and ushering others into the lounge.

“10!”

“9!”

Suddenly, the door opens and you jerk up to scold your unwelcome intruder. That is until you notice it’s him, the handsome stranger. He looks equally surprised to see you until you realise he probably wasn’t expecting anyone to be sitting alone in the bathroom during the countdown to New Year’s. Your throat is dry but you still manage to croak out some form of a response.

“What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he says, and you notice he’s almost panting. You gesture to the stain on your dress with an expression that says “duh”.

“Oh, right, well I just wanted to get away from all the chaos and loudness, you know.”

“8!” The crowd outside keeps going, and they seem to be getting louder.

“You didn’t find any lucky girl to kiss when midnight struck?” you say, trying your best to make light of how insanely awkward this interaction is. He rubs the back of his neck and looks down at his feet shyly.

“Well I did, she was standing in the corner of the room all alone,” he takes a couple of steps towards you and his voice is sheepishly quiet.

“7!”

“She sounds like a loner,” you retort and he lets out a dry laugh. You’re trying to play it cool and act as if you’re not dying to just kiss him already, because you know that’d be too forward, especially for someone like you at a party like this.

“Well, I thought she was beautiful, at least until she got dragged away by her friend.”

“6!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but then I saw her later in the kitchen talking to some guys and figured she’d be more interested in them.”

“5!”

“I’m sure they were boring,” you decide to play along with his game.

“Really?”

“Yeah, and I’m sure she would’ve much rather been talking to you instead of them, and hearing her friend talk about how if she didn’t kiss someone by midnight she’d have to deal with another year of being single,” this catches his attention, his eyebrow quirking up alongside a smirk spreading across his face.

“Really?”

“4!”

“Yep, until she spilled a bunch of wine on this dress she bought and ended up in the bathroom trying to clean it off.”

“3!”

”Sounds unfortunate.” He’s towering over you now, looking down at you with a softness in his eyes and a playfulness in his tone.

“Extremely.”

“2!”

You finally find the strength to stand up too, and almost immediately his hand finds its way around a strand of your hair, twirling it absent-mindedly. It moves to your cheek, then your chin, which he cups softly so that he can look into your eyes properly. You feel on fire underneath his touch. At this distance, he’s breathtaking. His eyes are almost enchanting and you feel tiny underneath their gaze, swallowing a lump nervously. He watches you intently, eyes flickering between his own and your lips - it’s clear what he’s thinking.

“1!”

The crowd outside erupts into cheers and the popping of confetti canons, but you’ve forgotten about them immediately as his lips crash into yours with a passion you realise haven’t experienced in a while. It’s not forceful though, it’s too perfect to be anything else. His hands snake around your body and support you - almost lifting you up into him, and you let him, your body turned to jelly under his touch. All the night’s eye contact, the silent messaging, the tension, has been squeezed into this single kiss and it just about knocks you off of your feet. Finally though, your lips separate, and you feel so dazed you can hardly form words.

“Carlos,” he says heavily.

“Huh?” you mumble, mind still processing.

“My name, my name is Carlos.”

“Oh, right, Happy New Year Carlos.”

[cal-writes]

Hi! I just wanna start by saying I adore your writing so much and you inspire me a whole lot!! Everytime a new chapter of yours drops I feel like life gets a bit brighter lol.

Anw, I hope you’re still receiving prompts? There’s one that has been sitting at the back of my head for way too long:

“The Strawhats are convinced Zoro’s foreigner, coin collector, sword user, tattoo enthusiast, bread hater, cardiac surgeon boyfriend is entirely made up, until they realise he’s real.”

I’ve been itching to write it but it never came around soooooo :3

Have a good day ilysm <3

that is so incredibly sweet of you. thank you so much for telling me! I'm glad i can inspire and brighten <3

prompts are always open i just - apparently - do not see them sometimes or dont have an idea

-

Zoro glares down at the collection of coins as if they have personally offended him. He crosses his arms, brow furrowed in concentration which in turn makes the poor vendor of the flea market stand pale and sweat. The young man lets himself get distracted by an old lady asking about the display of postcards he has laid out

"What's got you so pissy this morning?" Nami asks him, crossing her arms as well before she huffs. "If you didn't want to come you could have said no." She tells him. Usually she asks Robin to the flea market - because Robin loves that sort of thing and because they get coffee after - but one of her classes had her busy on a week long project. Maybe she should have just stayed home.

Zoro's expression turns from murder to confusion as he blinks and glances at her. "I wanted to come?" He says incredulously.

"Then why are you glaring daggers at this crap." She asks, gesturing at the rickety table and its myriad of good before catching the eye of the vendor. "No offense." She adds with a sweet smile which is ignored.

Zoro huffs and rubs the back of his head. "Law collects this stuff and I figured it'd make a good gift but these all look the same." He mutters and Nami narrows her eyes at him.

"Law?" She asks and Zoro gives her another look, as if he thinks she is an idiot.

"Yes?" He shoots back.

"Who's that?"

Zoro rolls his eyes and exhales sharply. "Not this again." He mutters before glaring at her from the side. "You know who he is."

Nami waves her hand. "Ah, yes of course. The 'boyfriend'." She says, making airquotes with her fingers.

"Why do you always say it like that?" Zoro asks and the vein on his forehead announces his irritation.

"Oh, please." Nami scoffs. "You don't have to keep pretending. I won't tell Hiyori. I get it." She tells him, flicking her hair over her shoulder. "Fuck knows I've told people you are my boyfriend before so they'd leave me alone." She says, picking around in a jewlery box of tangled necklaces, trying to find anything of value she can haggle the price down of.

"Okay?" Zoro says. "He is actually my boyfriend though."

"Riiight, the tattoed heart surgeon from Frevance who collects swords and coins, now, apparently. He's definitely real." Nami tells him with heavy sarcasm, as she tries to pull apart two pieces of jewlery.

"Glad we're in agreement." Zoro replies, being deliberately obtuse.

Nami snorts. "Would love to meet him one day." She says to play along.

"Good. Because he's coming this way." Zoro tells her, unbelievably smug, pointing over his shoulder.

She glares at him from the corner of her eye. "Like I'm gonna fall for that-"

A tattoed arm glides over Zoro's shoulders before a tall lanky man comes up to him and Nami turns to stare. "Hey, didn't know you were going to be here." The man says to Zoro before glancing over at Nami.

"Law, Nami, Nami, Law." Zoro introduces them, smirking insufferably at her before she has time to control her expession of shock.

[yonemurishiroku]

So I was gonna just post this myself but then I thought: nah it's s mermaid au so it has to come via yone's ask. that's the law

Nico is a prince, Jason is his deeply devoted naval captain. One day Nico is sailing out on the seas and he disappears. Jason obviously is distraught, and goes to look for him. (Idk why he wasn't with him in the first place maybe he had a cold or smth) After many months he finds the spot Nico's ship was last seen and he is lulled beneath the waves by the voice of a siren. This siren (Percy) had taken Nico and was keeping him in his underwater palace, and Nico had fallen in love with him. To twist things further, Jason realises Siren!Percy is actually his first love whom he lost at sea 15 years ago.

Idk if it ends with tragedy or polyamory or both. Do they break the spell on Percy or do they all become fish people ever after? I don't know but I thought you might enjoy <3

From Feb 6 to May 20 because it's Mermay!!!

No that's just a lie I'm so sorry I got carried away. adksadkasda pls know that my love's present even when I'm not. 😭😭😭

Firstly just let me say a million thank yous because I indeed love this. Well I've always loved Perjasico. Moreso when it's just a mess and none of them is requited---- I love you too so there's that

This prompt hides so many things. I'm delusional just looking at it.

I like the way you make it that Percico, compared to Jasico, appears very fabricated - idk if it's your intention but just let me explain.

As it is, I'm assuming Nico and Percy come together because Percy uses his siren magic (sinking his ship, luring him to the palace, etc...), which implies that the feelings might not be completely willing from Nico's side. There's the interference of magic - and I'm all for magical but untruthful love (hello Jason and Piper----)

On the other hand, let's just say that I prefer more complicated feelings, I think it should be that Percy only keeps Nico because he feels lonely. As in: his requirement for Nico's presence stems from loneliness, not fascination/infatuation. This implies that Percy isn't technically interested in Nico as a person - he's only using him to abate his painful isolation. That's why he's actively using his magic to bind him.

Now, to complicate things further (because I've always been in love with emotional baggage), I think Percy should become a siren because of the heartbreak over Jason.

Now, here's the fun part. What if Percy was a merman who - in a typical The Little Mermaid fashion - came to the land for Jason? Their story was of that Disney movie - a merman overcoming difficulties, signing a contract to reach his love. And they did have their happy ending!

But then that happy ending all broke up because of some reason. I have yet to come up with one but I just need it. Idk maybe there was a strife/ a misunderstanding/ idk! and Percy fell into the ocean, subsequently suffering the curse of heartbreak and becoming a siren - as the witch's way for the sea to reclaim its child. to say that the people on land are nothing good. only the sea would love you.

And now, 15 years later, it all came back to Jason, now with his new love in danger.

I'm vibrating with joy and I'm not even ashamed (I'm so sorry Jason).

But wait. All of this just makes Percy the antagonized antagonist of a Jasico story. Eh. Where's the fun in that? So anyway. I say we put Nico in as the reason for Jercy's breakup.

Yes, I'm having too much fun with this.

Anw. I have yet to come up with one logical reason.

I have some dramatic ones though - like maybe Nico had a crush on Percy when the two were together and something happened that made him the indirect catalyst to a fighting (bc here I'm assuming Jason has his own duties of serving the prince (or the royal family at least) which means Nico has some semblance of power over him)).

Jesus Christ this is all a mess and I'm still cackling. I haven't even touched the ending yet. I just want them all in pain and in blood. jasdhadka

Anyway this is everything I can come up with in the mean time LMAO Your idea never fails to enrapture me 😭🥺🥺🥺 I'm just too incompetent to reply on time askdjakdaajdsahk i love u with everything in me

[chibi-celesti]

Interlude 02-Book 01: Dia Rosa Rudje-Ar Prasrity Fowrlle

Ar Prasrity Fowrlle Gfine anw Revatail

(A moment of Peace)

Synopsis: On the eve of the Unbirthday Party, Meryu tries to bide her time to calm her soul and worries over what may happen next. What she didn’t know was that someone else was watching her from the shadows.

A special interlude dedicated to a moment between two people who don’t know each other yet, but one day will soon.

~Twisted Tonelico~

Shortly after returning to Ramshackle, Meryu and the boys settled down for the evening. While Ace and Deuce passed out on the sofa, Meryu was still awake; opting to spend time outside to calm her frayed nerves. 

The evening was cool, calm even. Meryu still couldn’t believe this is what the land beneath felt like. She remembered her guardian Shurelia telling her tales of what their world used to be like back in Platina. Those were things she could only imagine in her dreams back then. But now, seeing it and feeling the caress of the wind on her body was therapeutic. And real.

But then there's tomorrow…

Tomorrow will be my first Unbirthday Party here. And my first formal event without Lady Shurelia to guide me… she thought to herself. I wonder how she would react to me being in an all boy's academy? A smile appeared on her face. She'd probably have a panic attack and tear Mr. Crowley a new one.

She laughed to herself at the image. A fiery, livid Shurelia shouting at the magnanimous Head Mage, and two seconds away from ‘Ka-Boom'-ing the man to bits.

As Meryu continued to think about her guardian and only true family, she started to whisper a little tune to herself.

(~Lyrnya grrena anw bale,

Bautifal ciel burle~)

She swayed with the wind, whispers turning into humming to herself without a care, not minding if a soul were to see her and mock her for her naivete.

(~Was yea ra chanti fowrlle en hartes grlanza fhyu~)

(~Hyma en chs fedyya bexm, iasien sol dea houd frawr chiess herr~)

The longer she swayed with the wind, the more it enticed her to dance with it; the more she danced with the wind, the more her humming became singing.

~Mea eux na idesy sor, den~

~Was yea ra vit yora riura won manafaln dor~

(~Was yea ra vit waath oz hartes dor.~)

She sang of beautiful days, warm and hopeful tomorrow's. Not just for herself but for the world. It was something she always did.

~Mea oriye na idesy sor, dea~

~Was yea erra reen yora hynne tek manafaln ciela, an mean.~

(~Was yea erra reen dilete oz hartes ciela~)

Her little soliloquy was a performance that enamored the trees, the wind, and a few critters that traversed the campus. All either accompanied her in her song or swayed to the melodious waves of each lyric.

Her performance even caught the attention of someone who hid in the shadows. They have never met this young woman before, but it felt as though they have. Something about her voice sounded familiar to them, but they couldn't quite put their finger on it.

Curious yet mesmerized by Meryu's dance and voice, they felt like they were placed under a spell, but they did not fear. In fact, they loved it. A sudden sense of Déjà vu sent shivers throughout their body.

The shadowy figure couldn't help but hum along with the young woman's song. A part of them longing to reach out and dance with her like the wind is. But their feet were rooted to the spot; they couldn't move at all, afraid of disturbing her performance and scaring her off.

And just as she was at the precipice of her song, someone else's voice cut through and disturbed the peace. The stranger quickly hid themselves further into the shadows at the same time.

“Minion, it's late! We can't miss the Unbirthday Party, remember?”

Meryu halted in her steps, turning to the culprit that called her name, annoyed she was disturbed. “I'll be there in a moment, Grim!” Once Grim was back in the Dorm, she sighed in lament. He's right, I need to get some rest… She starts walking back to the front entrance, giving the stars one last glance before walking in the building.  I hope you're ok, Lady Shurelia.  I miss you so much…

In her ascension to the door, Meryu had sung to herself one more time.

~Wee yea ra hymme yanje revm,

Sol ammue zaarn, wi innna near burle.~

~Wee yea ra hymme yanje revm,

Yor irs, wi dor yeal folten…~

She closed the door, ignoring the silent tears falling down her face.

‘So this dorm is now inhabited?’ The stranger thought. They felt disappointed that their favorite place on campus is no longer vacant. They inwardly sighed. ‘Looks like I will have to find another place for myself.’

In a blink of an eye, they vanished  with not a single trace of their presence left behind, except for a glimmer of glowing green lights.

And the echoes of the Reyvateil’s lullaby from their lips.

[thenamesmobu]

"An Unfortunate Encounter"

[2/2] Forced Showdown

Devin's POV

DEAR GOD, I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS IS WEEKS LATE JXJSHD AAAAACCKKK WRITING FIGHT SCENES IS SO HARD. I'M SORRY CALLIX HDJDH. Aaaa I'm dividing this oart into two because holy CRAP is it tedious to write. Anw, CW//: this fic contains violence because y'know, two guys beating the life out of each other. Aa enjoy the fic<3

==================================

A fight it is then.

BOOM! Beams of light were blasted towards the intruder. The blast had caused abit of an explosion, obscuring what aftermath it had cause. As the dusts settles, Devin waits to see the results of his attack, expecting the entity to stay there injured. The two large pair of hands shrunk by a little as they follow its user to investigate the aftermath.

...Nothing?

How is that possible? He could've sworn he hit the target precisely. Two people can't hallucinate the same thing, right? As the Narrator continues to observe the after math, he suddenly felt a gust of wind behind him. As he turned, he was kicked hard to the side and was knocked back quite the distance.

"Blasting someone who'd just arrived at your doorstep wasn't a nice way of greeting them" The intruder commented.

The Narrator grunted as he gets up on his feet, with his yellow orange hands assisting him. His orange hands disappeared after he was knocked back. "You..." He was irritated.

"Why don't we settle down and talk, hm?" The intruder offered with a sarcastic smile. "If you don't hurt me, then I won't hurt you–" Just then, he was cut off by the impact of a printer crashing into him. "Stop playing with your tricks!" The Narrator yelled, now with yellow hands added appearing with the yellow orange ones. He flexed his orange hands to summon an array of box cutters and aimed it at the intruder. With a snap of a finger, they were launched towards the target.

The intruder saw this and began to dodge his attacks as best as he could. Though he managed to get some bits of cuts here and there, he was mostly unscathed. "Aren't you a rude host?" The intruder taunted. He smirked at the sight of his attacker growing irritated after his taunt. The Narrator growled in frustration. The intruder's smirk grew wider as he stares at him. Though as he continues to do so, he could see an orange glow coming from behind him and hearing something charging up. The intruder evaded it again, but was hit by a punch as he dodged. The Narrator had done that on purpose to distract him.

Nathan was pushed back by the punch, but then he landed on a soft surface. For a split second, he thought he was safe, until he feels the soft surface squeeze him. It was one of the hands. It lifted him up and brought him near to Devin with his orange hands behind him. "You're a new one" He said. "I've never met any anomalies such as you, but that won't discourage me in getting rid of you" Right as he said his words, the familiar orange beams began to charge up. Nathan refused to go down so easely.

Devin suddenly felt his hand shaking for unkown reasons. It wasn't even a second later that his hand was pierced from the inside from the individual that he was holding. A dozen black inky spikes stabbed through his hand. The shocking pain sent waves through his body. All of the existing hands disappeared as Devin clutches his wrist and fell to his knees. He grunted in pain as he realized too late that he had let the intruder go. Looking up in horror, he was immediately kicked in the guts, he was thrown up in the air. Before he could process it, he was violently kicked again towards the ground.

The landing was horrible, he was slammed face first onto the concrete floor. "Are you done with your playfighting?" Nathan asked, he sounded exhasperated by this nonsense. "All I ask from you are directions, how hard is it for you to fufill such—" BAM. A hand slammed right from above Nathan's head. No warnings, no sound, it just appeared. Slowly and shakily lifting himself up from his rough landing, Devin stood up. "Don't think I would fall so easely..." Devin said in between his puffs of breath. Before he could continue, he took notice of the black substance oozing from his hand. It formed a puddle surrounding his hand, it then quickly formed what looks like a jaw and SNAPPED close. Devin shoutted in pain as he clutches his wrist again.

The hand that once smashed the intruder disappeared. Devin grunted in pain and fell to his knees, he slowly turned his gaze to in front of him with hate in his eyes. The intruder's body was contorted, broken, and damaged. It stood up, the cracks of its body bled out the black substance that bad chomped his hand. Its eyes were rolled back, it formed an eerie smile that drooled the same substance. As if repairing itself, the once bled out and spreaded substance that covered the floor began to gather itself and reformed the body as best as it could. Once all the goo were back together, it looked as if it was ready to fight again.

Oh, so they've made a new model I see

"FINE THEN! If THAT is how you want to play, then SO BE IT!"

The figure dashes towards Devin with its arms now morphed into a pair of scythes, ready to slice Devin into pieces. The man thought fast and clamped himself with a pair of hands to protect himself. He grunted at the harm recieved by the attack. Now airborne with a big hand lifting him up in the air, Devin is taking this fight far more seriously now. With one hand in front of him, he summons the orange hands behind him and blasted his Sunbeams at the intruder. It evaded the attack swiftly as it makes its way reaching Devin. With the yellow hands following the intruder in pursuit. It slammed itself onto the ground whilst forming a fist, a multitude of office drawers began to protrude from the ground and it chases after intruder. Inspite of the attacks being sent, it manages to full on leap into the air and took a hold onto the hand that was carrying Devin. It stabbed through one of the hands that clamped him up again.

Devin lost his balance and fell. His yellow hands cushioned his fall. When he looked up, he saw that his two other pairs were being tied up by the intruder. They were restrained by a web of the black substance. The web tightens, further constraining the hands. Devin feels the pain in his own hands and shouted again in pain. The two pairs then vanished. Whatever this thing was, it turned its attention back to Devin. He braces himself.

The intruder shoots its own arm like a grappling hook to reach him. Devin blocked the attack with one of his hands that he just summoned, making the Intruder reel it in and smashing itself againts it.

..

==================================

I'm so tired bruh💀

Nathan belongs to @callixspod

[audreyhardmeyerbloh]

Introduction to BLOG

People learn something new every day. But what's changed is that learning doesn't just happen in a classroom anymore. Learning is facilitated on so many different online platforms, spheres, and digital media. Last week I learned color theory on TikTok. This week I discovered the Third Wave of Feminism on YouTube. And when I was a kid I was “taught” racist, sexist, and violent concepts from some of Disney's classic movies.

Learning doesn't always have to be intentional. Understanding the world around us comes from consuming what we read, watch, and listen to, specifically digital media. Movies are classic forms of media that teach us about ourselves, people around us, and societal implications as a whole. Not all media is created to benefit the impressionable minds of those who watch it. In this blog I will be talking about how classic Disney movies perpetuate cycles of  racism, sexism, and violence via digital media.

 Generation after generation, young children are continuously exposed to timeless Disney films through digital streaming. These Disney films have had a significant impact on my and other worldviews and perceptions, both positively and negatively.  However, ideas and concepts that children absorb form the foundation of their adopted beliefs, which ultimately define who they are. Normalizing discriminatory or stereotypical perceptions as a child can be harmful to the child's future and others around them. As Anwe Karma says in a media analysis, "children in their formative years, gravitate toward characters they identify with the most... fairy tales become a vessel through which children discover the intricacies of proper conduct" (Karma, 2023). If our core internalized beliefs are created from racist depictions from Disney movies, this creates quite the issue.

This can be extremely harmful to newer generations if intolerant media is continuously shown to young children. How will these cycles ever break if these “classics” are consumed year after year? Some Disney movies perpetuate inequality, and young children internalize these actions and behaviors. As Natalie S Wellman says in her analysis, “ those in media are gaining a wider platform to influence others... companies use the fictional world to influence the real” (Wellman, 2020). The Disney corporation is using fictional characters, princesses, and plots to influence how we create perceptions of right and wrong, normal or abnormal, etc.

We have grown up with the same ideas, concepts, and princesses that our parents and grandparents did. Some of these themes and concepts contribute to harm, violence, and false narratives that must be rejected and never again be accepted. Digital media has the potential to purposefully or inadvertently perpetuate racism, sexism, and other forms of discrimination by allowing them to resurface in the minds of impressionable young people. We need to produce and distribute inclusive digital content and representative of all people, regardless of identity, to break this cycle of exclusivity. One way to do this is to address the false narratives that have been created in these classic Disney movies (1930s-1990s) and explain how they can negatively impact viewers.

Citations:

Wellman, Natalie S. (2020) "Disney's Portrayal of Women: An Analysis of Female Villains and Princesses," Concordia Journal of Communication Research: Vol. 7, Article 4. DOI: https://doi.org/10.54416/SEUY6814  Available at: https://digitalcommons.csp.edu/comjournal/vol7/iss1/4   

Karma A, Bhad A (2023) "Disney Setting and Changing Gender Stereotypes," Global Media Journal, 21:66. 2-Dec-2023, DOI: 10.36648/1550-7521.21.66.402

[notafunkiller]

hello just wanna talk and ask… is it crazy that i miss sebstan?😂💀 i know IT HASNT BEEN A WEEK SINCE SDCC AND IM CRYING FOR MORE UPDATES

now i know what this fandom felt when he stops being active in sm.

anw i cant wait for a different man + the november (comic con?) thingy but idk if at the time im going to be active in this fandom as i prob gonna be super busy around that time.

ive been feeling this way ever since before the sdcc😂 but i thought it was just some girly hormones BUT NO! everyday i woke up hoping something to pop up and its always surprising or nothing🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

anwys i have a theory… so apparently yesterday (my local time) was hngd (i actually dk what that is bcs im a loser) but its actually happy national girlfriend day… now what if she posted the flowers bcs of hngd (but she did it a day early) JUST WHAT IF?! brain rot theory here… bcs it doesn’t make sense she posted random flowers (unless she did it to lure people that seb is the one who gave her bcs of the sudden pregnancy rumours or number 1 in Netflix congratulations or whatevs)

just theory bcs theres a lot of hngd in my story ig😂 and i was like “WAIT? WHAT IF SHES REFERRING THE FLOWERS TO THIS?” bcs yknow her :) shes brewing smth there but cant really say for sure righttttttttt~

but if i were to guess, the pregnancy baiting seems a lot more fitting bcs she posted a pic of her tumtum and then mentioning abh then the flowers and lastly the sport pregnancy news. R U W ME?!😂😂 (ps where does the pregnancy rumour even starts? like why and how AND WHY?🤡)

hihi and goodnight and im sorry for the random exaggeration talks there (i have nobody to talk to abt this fandom)

Hi, it's totally understandable to want content.

She wanted to ride the wave of attention after comic con (esp since people talked A LOT about Flo and him) It's always a schedule with them/her. Flowers, dogs etc

I'm glad you feel free to talk here.

[anwnewwave]

“It’s a front, not a back” Ashley making jokes on set with Raya and Mykel.

[maximotts]

hiya motts!

i wanted to share a scenario ive been thinking abt lately,, and it's just where you and wanda build a pillow fort together and just snuggle or read books together inside, i honestly think it's pretty cute and cozy & i couldn't stop thinking abt it recently hshshswhs 💞

anw thx for listening! i hope ure havin a great day <33

(also i was also wondering if i could be 🍊 anon by any chance if thats fine with u !)

HELLO IM HERE WITH THE FIC! Thank you lil orange for this adorable little idea and I'm sorry I've taken so long to reply!! Again this is unedited because I started typing words and didn't stop so uhm.. we'll just go with it

words: 1.5k

wanda maximoff x reader; fluff, just some coziness with our fave post-AoU gal, emo Wanda, pillow forts, mentions of HYDRA/Wanda's sad childhood, crushes no one will admit while Pietro plays the background matchmaker

“I can make whatever fort you want in two seconds, you know? I could build it in front of you even…” Wanda trudged down the stairs with more pillows from who knows where, grabbing as many as she could because you’d insisted on maximum pillowy softness, whatever that meant. 

You popped out with a gasp, your head poking from under a disorderly pile of blankets and couch cushions. “That’s not fun, Wanda! Doing it ourselves is the only way to go.” Wiggling out from under the mess you’d made in the living room, you took some of the pillows from her… only to dump them in a new pile next to your current one. “Gotta stay organized for the build!”

Wanda huffed at the sight, wondering how you were going to make sense of your building materials, if you could really call them that. She let you pull her along, but as you started placing cushions here and there, Wanda just stood still, admittedly lost on how to even start. 

After a few minutes of waiting around, you realized Wanda hadn’t taken even one step and you frowned at her. “It’ll go faster if you help me.”

“I don’t really…” The brunette dropped her eyes to the blankets at her feet, rubbing her arm nervously. She’d never really made blanket forts; they were on TV and she knew the general idea, but growing up orphaned in a war-torn country meant she was lucky if she and Pietro had one single blanket from night to night. With HYDRA, there was no such thing— life was only her cell and the experimentation chamber until she got her powers and once she did, she was watched 24/7, given things to hold only when Strucker was around to instruct her what to do with them. She hadn’t been in America long and after the Ultron incident, she had to keep a low profile which meant going out, making friends, exploring her new surroundings was off limits. 

Pietro was great at making friends with his new teammates, gaining their trust quickly, but Wanda had been in their heads and for that they were rightfully wary. Not mean, but she didn’t get invited to outings nearly as much as her twin— being mostly quiet didn’t help, not when she preferred sitting and watching others instead of taking the leap and joining in. For all her powers, an outgoing nature was not one of them; that was always Pietro’s thing. You were his friend first too, hanging out with him at meals and after missions, but unlike most of the others, you talked to her as well. Even if you found her without her silver-haired brother, you still waved at Wanda or sat next to her and asked about her day.

And so she started gravitating towards you as well, seeking you out if she wanted company or a break from Pietro’s non-stop rambling. Sometimes the two of you were silent and others Wanda opened up, asking you questions about your home or teaching you about hers. That’s how you learned just how little she’d had the opportunity to do and when you’d resolved to give her those experiences, no matter how small. 

Which is also how you’d become familiar with the look Wanda wore now, unsure and retreating in an attempt not to appear upset or uncomfortable.  You weren’t a mind reader, but somehow in your short time together, you’d grown to know her well. “There’s no right way to do it, I promise. Here, you can help me lay the foundation.”

You took her hand and brought her around to the half-constructed ‘foundation,’ a layer of thick couch cushions Wanda recognized from Natasha’s room. “Isn’t she going to miss these?”

“We’re going to give them back. Also, that woman never rests. I doubt she’s ever used that couch,” You shrugged, leaving out the part that this was not your first time taking your teammate’s furniture. Wanda thankfully didn’t argue, instead following your lead and laying out various cushions until it reached out multiple feet from the edge of the couch. “Now, true building begins!”

Wanda helped you arrange stacks of pillows into makeshift walls, drape sheets over sides of the couch, even had the great suggestion of grabbing a long baton from the training room for a true tented feel. She didn’t realize she was smiling until her face hurt, tossing a square pillow at you as you joked about her lopsided drapery skills. “You said there’s no right way! This is my way and I think it looks… just fine!” 

“Right right, we’ll see how long it stays up then.” She finally understood what you meant when you said maximum softness as you started throwing pillow after pillow against the floor of the fort, making such a thick place to lay on, Wanda was afraid she’d never want to get up when she sat down. 

The two of you took a step back to gaze upon your handiwork and truly, Wanda couldn’t help but feel proud at what she’d done. “Building it ourselves was fun.”

You turned to look at Wanda, her small smile as she looked at the fort making your heart swell. Seeing her happy, even if it was just for an afternoon, was always the highlight of your day especially if it was something you’d done together. “Told you so! The most fun part is enjoying the fruits of our labor though,” You grabbed the snacks the two of you had chosen earlier and ducked under the fort cover, settling in with Wanda right on your heels.

She chose to sit right next to you, close enough that she could promptly lean her head on your shoulder. Thankfully Wanda remembered the remote and the movies you’d planned to watch because as she toggled through the various screens, you were still frozen with the shock of her laying against you. She smelled so sweet, you wanted to cry or hug her or anything to keep her close like this forever. So many weeks ago, Wanda made a passing comment on affection, casually mentioning how she valued physical touch in reminding her loved ones that she cares. When you pointed out how little you’d seen her touch anyone, Wanda’s face instantly fell.

My only family is Pietro and the others, well… I don’t think most of them trust me enough to let me close to them, much less touch or hold their hand. 

You’d assured her then you weren’t afraid of her, that you would never shy away from her for something meant to be a kind gesture. She said thank you and that she appreciated your honesty and that was that before she switched to a completely different topic of conversation. Since then, you’d noticed every time Wanda squeezed Pietro’s arm or gave him a hug after returning and while you understood her hesitancy, you found you were a little jealous. You wanted to know what it felt like to be on the receiving end of Wanda’s affection, yearned for it even, but you’d never voice such a thing.

So this, today, whatever resting her head on you meant, you felt as though you could melt right into the floor. Pietro made you swear not to say a word, but learning of how much she talked about you, that she didn’t think you were annoying or pushy, but instead a welcome comfort, was the most pride you’d ever felt in your time being an Avenger. If you could spend the rest of your days showing Wanda your favorite things and helping her find some of her own, you’d be overjoyed. 

“Your thoughts are loud again.” Wanda looked at you quizzically, turning her head to search your expression.

“W-What—” She swore not to read anyone’s mind without permission anymore; but she’d told you if someone thought really intensely, she couldn’t help but sense it. Just like hearing a conversation as you walk down the street, it wasn’t something she could stop. This wasn’t the first time Wanda had called you out for your loud brain, mortifying each time you realized your feelings for her were overwhelming again. 

She never told you what she could hear, scared you might panic if you were aware she could particularly tell whenever your thoughts uttered her name. It was fine, she could wait patiently until you were ready to tell her about your crush yourself and she could say she liked you right back. “If you’re thinking about my side of the fort, don’t. Shut up and watch the movie.”

[chaeryybomb]

BRUTAL

pairings: female reader x best friend!jungwon

summary: they told you that these were the golden years, but to you "golden" was a rusting metal spray painted yellow. the story of a seventeen year old trying to survive high school when all you do is try your best. but your best friend jungwon makes it worth the while. 

genre: high school au, friends to lovers, fluff, tiny bits of angst if you squint, attempt at humour

featuring: jang wonyoung, kim sunoo & nishimura riki 

word count: 4.5k 

warnings: reader having a existential crisis most of the time, strong language, mentions of insecurity

the sour series masterlist

You slumped forward the moment the bell rang, letting your head hit the table. You could care less if a bruise would form on your forehead, you had much bigger things to worry about. Your teacher left the class wordlessly as the class was busy doing their own thing. And by that, everyone was buried nose deep in studying. You lifted your head to see the different books of the same topic scattered on your desk, a yellow highlighter balancing on the edge of your table.

Reaching over to grab the highlighter, you turned your head over to the side to look at your desk mate. Wonyoung sat there looking straight out from a k-drama, with her hair flowing down her back perfectly and her slender nimble fingers moving as she continuously wrote in her notebook. She was smart too, fluent in English and Korean, great at maths and science. And on top of that she was kind and friendly, everyone loved her. You did too, you had the honour of calling her your best friend. But sometimes you felt insecure around her, everything she did looked flawless and there you were just trying your best.

"Ack!" You yelped as you sat up straight, holding your forehead. Wonyoung rolled her eyes at you with a small smile on her lips, she had flicked your forehead to get you out of your thoughts.

Without taking her eyes off the textbook, she tapped your own workbook with her pen. Silently telling you to stop procrastinating. You pouted at her and looked at the clock, 10 minutes before lunch. Maybe a walk to the girl's bathroom would do you some good.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you whispered to Wonyoung. She nodded and smiled at you before you walked out.

As you strolled towards the girl's bathroom, you passed by the bulletin board outside your class. A bright blue poster stood out with the words "ENJOY YOUR YOUTH" in white. Scoffing at the message, you continued on your way.

"I'm seventeen now, where's my fucking teenage dream?" You muttered to yourself. You were tired of waiting for your life to end up like a coming of age movie. Everyone told you that these were the golden years and you should enjoy your youth, but you swear to god if you hear another one of those cheesy sayings, you might just cry on the spot.

Reaching over to open the stall door, you halt in your actions when you heard familiar voices talking.

"I'm so worried for finals, my parents are gonna kill me if I fail English again," a girl complained. You hear the sound of tap water running. "How are you so calm during this time, Mirae?'

"What's the use of studying hard anyways," the second girl, Mirae, said. "We all know the top spots are gonna be taken by Jang Wonyoung and Yang Jungwon, I just study enough to pass."

The other girl snorted at her reply. "Imagine if those two got together, the power couple of the year," she suddenly said.

"Poor Y/N then, she's gonna be over shadowed by them."

"As if she already isn't. I almost forgot they were a trio until you mentioned Y/N," the girl laughed.

"What can I say? They're out of her league," Mirae joined in with her laughter.

The two voices faded away as you heard the door closed. Finally pushing the door open, you looked at your reflection. Your eyebrows knitted in annoyance and your face was morphed in a scowl. You washed your hands aggressively and poked the inside of your cheek. What bugged you was that they were right. You were the black sheep between Wonyoung and Jungwon. Both of them were smart and amazing, and you're just…you.

You love your best friends, you truly do. But you were constantly compared to them and you hated it. Everyone wanted them, you watched as guys tripped over to confess to Wonyoung and girls squealing when Jungwon smiled at them. The two of them always reassured you that you weren't beneath them but you were sick of their sympathy. You're so caught up in the news of who likes you and who hates them. You just wished people liked you more.

Storming out of the bathroom, someone accidentally ran into you and caused you to fell onto your butt. The student immediately stood up and scurried off, not bothering to even a mutter an apology. All I did was try my best and this is the thanks I get, you thought bitterly.

They said that these were the golden years, but you wished you could just disappear. God, it's brutal out here.

"Y/N, wait up!" Jungwon called after you.

You stopped in your tracks as you watched Jungwon waved goodbye to some students before jogging towards you.

"You heading to cram school today?" He asked you as the both of you fell into the same walking rhythm.

You shook your head, clasping your hands behind. "I moved it to Thursday instead, Wonyoung said I had to many things on Tuesday," you told him. Originally, you would be heading to the library to study before heading over to the cram school. But Wonyoung took one look at your schedule and decided that you did not had enough breaks, so she managed to convince you to take the Thursday slot instead. Thursdays are one of the days where you would not go to the library.

Jungwon seemed to be disappointed to find out that you had switched slots. Maybe he should changed slots too, but does he have any empty spots open for Thursday though? He'd have to check later. Instead, he coughed and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Do you wanna come over later? The new Demon Slayer movie is out," he offered, hoping that you'd accept.

Unfortunately, you once again shook your head. "Sorry Jungwon, I'd want to cram even more later. Finals are really creeping in and I can't afford to waste any time," you told him with a sad smile. As much as you would like to ditch the books and watch Demon Slayer, the glaring C on your last history paper was telling you otherwise.

You stopped walking when you had reached your doorstep. "Thanks for walking me home, Jungwon. See you tomorrow!" and with that you disappeared behind the door.

Jungwon waved goodbye as he watched the door closed. The smile on his face dropped and his shoulder sagged. Jungwon you idiot, of course she would want to study, he scolded himself. With disappointment on his face, he trudged home with a heavy heart.

"Change of plans, guys," he announced as he swung the front door open, unfazed by the fact that Riki and Sunoo were lounging on his coach. He accepted the fact that Sunoo had somehow gotten the keys to his house (suspecting that his mother probably gave it to him due to favouritism or maybe Riki had sneakily made a copy).

Riki's head poked out from the couch. "She rejected you, didn't she," the younger boy said with a smirk.

Jungwon's face ears turned red as he glared at the boy. "No she did not!" He immediately told him. "She rejected the offer to watch the movie, that's different!"

"That's basically rejection, hyung," Riki laughed.

The other boy just glared at him. "Shut up!" he sputtered out before hiking up the stairs.

Sunoo gave Riki a look, to which the Japanese boy just shrugged his shoulders innocently.

Jungwon walked out from the shower, a towel around his neck with one hand running through his damp hair. Sunoo and Riki had left earlier, finally giving him some peace and quiet. His phone screen was flashing from his study table, initiating that someone was spamming him (quite aggressively) with text message. With a raised eyebrow, he picked up his phone

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: WHY DID Y/N JUST MESSAGED ME ABOUT HOMEWORK

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: ISNT SHE WITH YOU

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: I THOUGHT YOU SAID U WERE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: DEMON HUNTER OR SMTG

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: WHY IS SHE ASKING ME FOR HW

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: DID U CHICKEN OUT???

[7:13 pm] wonyoung: omg u chickened out didnt u

[7:14 pm] jungwon: jfc wonyoung

[7:15 pm] jungwon: and no i did not chicken out okay

[7:15 pm] jungwon: she declined

[7:16 pm] jungwon: she said she had to study ;-;

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: omg u suck

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: i told u the movie idea was dumb

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: but do u ever listen to me

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: no

[7:19 pm] wonyoung: and now u suffer the consequences

[7:20 pm] jungwon: yea yea i get it im dumb

[7:20 pm] jungwon: now what's ur solution the great jang wonyoung

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: i am so glad u asked :)

[7:21 pm] jungwon: oh no

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: stfu im giving u a better idea

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: a n y w a y s

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: my ynradar is going off and she's s a d

[7:23 pm] jungwon: how would u know

[7:23 pm] jungwon: she seemed fine today

[7:23 pm] wonyoung: stfu jungwon its best friend things u wont understand

[7:24 pm] jungwon: i-

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: and as her future bf u SHOULD start to train ur ynradar

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: anw its exam season stoopid

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and its when those kids start to talk abt how the both of us are gonna get top scores

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and they talk down on y/n while doing so

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: assholes

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: so i propose to u

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: a ✨ study date ✨

[7:28 pm] jungwon: i

[7:29 pm] jungwon: that's

[7:29 pm] jungwon: actually not a bad idea

[7:30 pm] wonyoung: obv i came up with it

[7:31 pm] jungwon: can u not

[7:31 pm] wonyoung: anw a study date

[7:32 pm] wonyoung: she's struggling in maths

[7:33 pm] wonyoung: specifically taxes because she said and i quote

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: "why do we have to do taxes when we pay people to do it for us"

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: so pls help her and try to cheer her up

[7:35 pm] wonyoung: and confess coward

[7:36 pm] jungwon: i make no promises for the last one

[7:36 pm] wonyoung: aFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID

[7:37 pm] jungwon: what if she rejects me wonyoung

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A LOT OF TIMES JUNGWON

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: SHE LIKES U BUT SHES TOO DUMB TO REALISE

[7:39 pm] jungwon: sigh

[7:40 pm] jungwon: fine i'll try thanks wonyoung

[7:41 pm] wonyoung: np i expect y'all to be a couple by next monday <3

[7:41 pm] jungwon: i-

Sighing for the nth time of the night, Jungwon sat on his bed. He allowed the towel to slipped off his shoulders as his thumb hovered over your chat icon. Truth be told, he always thought his crush on you was unrequited love. You never showed any signs of returning of feelings so he thought he would just ignore the feeling until it was gone.

But oh boy was he wrong, because he didn't knew that he would be spending his high school years by your side. And now you occupy his mind 24/7. Wonyoung could literally tell that he was in love with you, but somehow you never caught on. He allowed Sunoo and Riki to convince him to do the whole "movie date idea", but that failed. So Wonyoung's suggestion was his only option left.

He typed out the message, ready to send it out. If only he could just press the button. Come on Yang Jungwon, you can do this. Just press the damn button Jungwon. Suddenly his phone pinged loudly, scaring the lights out of the poor boy as he yelped and his phone landed with a thud on the ground. He peered over his bed, as if his phone was a ticking bomb.

Oh, it was a message from you.

[8:01 pm] y/n: hey do u know where wonyoung is

[8:01 pm] y/n: she isn't answering my texts

Oh no. He realised that your chat was open, the two ticks indicated that he had (unintentionally) read the message. He couldn't just leave you on read. That's just evil. Scrambling to get his phone, he immediately typed a reply to cover for the other girl.

[8:02 pm] jungwon: sorry i don't :/

[8:02 pm] jungwon: what do u need her for

[8:03 pm] y/n: mf was supposed to teach me a maths question but she left me on rEAD

This was his chance! It was the perfect opportunity for him to score a date with you. Okay, breathe in breath out Jungwon. Don't mess it up and just ask her, he mentally prepared himself.

[8:04 pm] jungwon: oh i could help you if you want

[8:04 pm] jungwon: yk with finals coming up and everything, i can help you study

[8:05 pm] jungwon: if you want of course

[8:05 pm] y/n: omg srsly??

[8:06 pm] jungwon: pls help me study my braincells are literally dying

[8:07 pm] jungwon: jdsjkda okay how about this saturday at your place?

[8:08 pm] y/n: yeah sure

[8:08 pm] jungwon: cool its a date then!

You blinked at Jungwon's message. A date? Wait, did Yang Jungwon just indirectly asked you out? Nah, nah. You were overthinking it. Yes, definitely overthinking. Don't kid yourself, why would Jungwon ask you out on a date? Jungwon is just a friend, you tried to convince yourself.

Keyword: tried.

If he really was just a friend, then why did it felt like butterflies were in your stomach when he said "it was a date"? Then why did you frowned when those girls said that Wonyoung and Jungwon would make a good couple?

Oh god, do you have feelings for your best friend?

Saturday came faster than you would have liked it to. Ever since that last chat with Jungwon, it gave you the sudden realisation that you did in fact had feelings for your best friend. You tried so hard to avoid him in school because you don't want the butterflies back in your stomach. It was basically confirming the fact that you like him. Well, avoiding him also confirmed the fact but you choose to be in denial about it.

You didn't tell Wonyoung about your study date but lately she's been sending you outfit ideas on Pinterest. Specifically, date outftis. And whenever you tried to ask her a question about school, she brushed you off with a random excuse. So it left you no choice but to save those questions for Jungwon.

Speaking of Jungwon, he had texted you 10 minutes ago that he was on the way. You were standing in the middle of your room with your hands on your hips. Both of your parents were out for the day, which left you alone at home. You had taken out the low table to be used later and it was currently in front of you. Colourful workbooks were neatly stacked on top of it.

You did a 360 turn around your room. Was it messy? You cleaned it this morning when you woke up. Did you had any clothes out? No, doesn't look like it. For some reason, you were a nervous wreck. You blamed Jungwon. He just had to call this a date, didn't he.

Should you change? Maybe you should finally look through all those pins Wonyoung sent. Wait, no, why would you have to change into something nice. Jungwon was here to help you study, just that.

Yeah, a study date, your mind emphasised on the word.

The sound of the doorbell pulled you out from your thoughts. You immediately went to open the door. Yang Jungwon stood there on the other side, with his signature smile. Had he always resembled a sheep? He just looked so fluffy.

"Hey!" You greeted him with a smile, internally wincing at your way-too-enthusiastic voice.

But Jungwon didn't seem to mind it. "Hey!" he greeted back.

You moved to the side to let him in. "Thank you for having me," he said as he bowed then proceeded to remove his shoes.

"Uh, do you want anything? Water?" You asked him.

He shook his head.

"Ah, cool. Let's head to my room," you started to walk back to your room.

"Where are your parents?" He asked.

"Out," you simply replied.

That was when it dawned upon you, that your parents were not home. Leaving you and Jungwon, alone. Together. In your room. Alone. With the boy you potentially have a crush on.

"Y/N?" Jungwon tapped on your shoulder. You had stopped walking when you were suddenly washed over by your thoughts. Snapping out of it, you sent him a small smile before opening the room to your door.

The both of you shuffled into your bedroom, you sat down in front of the low table while Jungwon settled down next to you. He moved to take out his books then turned to you. "How about we do some studying and if you have any questions, you can ask me okay?" He said.

You nodded and flipped your own workbook open, immediately starting to work on the first question. Jungwon copied your action and a comfortable silence engulfed the both of you. As the time passed, you found yourself stuck on a certain maths question.

You slightly turned your head to the side to look at Jungwon. He was concentrated at doing his work, you felt a sense of deja vu while looking at him. He resembled Wonyoung when she was studying. At the thought of Wonyoung, you suddenly thought of what those girls said at the bathroom.

They would make a good couple, wouldn't they, you thought. The power couple of the year.

The butterflies in your stomach faded away into an uncomfortable feeling. Just the idea of them getting together already made you sick. You bit the inside of your cheek, you really did had feelings for him. And now it scared you because what if he doesn't feel the same. You made a mental note to consult with Wonyoung later, at least you hope that you'll allow yourself to tell her.

Jungwon must've noticed you staring and gently tapped your head with his pencil. A contrast to when Wonyoung painfully flicked your forehead.

"What's wrong? Are you stuck on a question?" He asked.

You leaned back a bit at the sudden action. You were so deep in your insecurities that you had totally forgotten about the literal problem sitting in front of you. Yet you couldn't even bother to ask him so you just shook your head. "I'm gonna get something to drink," you said instead.

Jungwon watched as you stood up, then decided to follow you as well. "I'll come along."

The boy joined you in the kitchen, perched on one of the island stools as you grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. He studied your movement as you worked around the kitchen. Your features were neutral, you weren't smiling nor frowning. But he could tell that your shoulders were tensed. Wonyoung was right, you did seem down. And he cursed himself for not noticing earlier.

"You okay?" His question made you stopped in a mid-pour stance, the can of soda was tilted but not enough for the contents to be poured out.

You brushed his question off and poured the drink into the cup. "Yeah," you hummed.

Unconvinced by your answer, he pried more. "You know you shouldn't care about what they say, right?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, pretending like you didn't understand where he was coming from.

"You're not below us, you know that right?"

You couldn't help but scoffed at his words. Jungwon's lips tugged downwards "I'm being serious here, Y/N," his tone was stern. "You shouldn't listen to what they say. You're more than just-"

The sound of the can being slammed down shuts him up. Your fingers tightened around the can as you looked at him. You didn't had the energy to hear him preach the same old "Don't Listen To Them" speech. You don't need his pity.

"I don't want to hear it, Yang Jungwon," you said through gritted teeth. Not sparing him another glance, you threw the empty can into the trash as you grabbed your glass.

As you walked past Jungwon, he suddenly reached out and held onto your forearm. "Y/N," he said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

You sighed and slowly turn around to face him, placing the glass back on the counter. You took in a deep breath before you opened your mouth. "I feel like I'm not enough," you finally said. "Everything I do just doesn't seem enough. All I'm doing is my best but it's just crushing my ego because everyone is telling me that you're better than me."

"I feel like no one wants me and I hate the way I'm perceived. It's always poor Y/N this and poor Y/N that's because everyone just sees me as your shadow and I fucking hate it. I only have two real friends," you gestured wildly. "And lately I'm a nervous wreck cause I keep comparing myself to the two of you. I'm not cool and I'm not smart, and I can't even parallel park!" You threw your hands up in frustration, the feelings you kept inside were pouring out like a waterfall.

Jungwon just stood there as he listened tentatively to every word. He didn't knew that you felt this way, bottling up all your emotions like that.

"And I'm so tired of people telling me to enjoy my youth and that these are the golden years. I might just fucking cry if I hear those words again," you finished ranting. It felt good, it felt like a weight on your heart has been lifted. Then you remembered that you just dumped all of it on Jungwon.

You opened your mouth to apologise to him but he surprised you by pulling him into his arms. At first you were standing stiffly at the sudden contact, but it took a millisecond for you to melt in his embrace. His arms were gently around your back and you returned the hug by wrapping your arms around his torso. The two of you stay in that position for awhile, relishing in each other's embrace. You definitely needed this hug.

Tightening your hold on Jungwon, you realised how important he was to you. He was your best friend and he was always there for you. It was stupid of you to compare yourself to him, when all he did was tried his best for you. The taller boy chuckled when he felt you rubbed your face into his shoulder, he involuntarily released a contented sigh. You felt one of his hands stroked your hair, it felt comforting. That action itself was enough for the butterflies to slowly settled back in you.

After a while, both of you finally (unwillingly) released each other. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ears and said, "You're wrong by the way." Which made you tilt your head in genuine confusion.

"You are cool and you are smart. You're like the coolest person I know. And no one thinks of you as our shadow, you don't hear it but I've always hear the juniors praising you for helping them and how enthusiastic you are," the way he delivered his words was filled with pure awe for you.

"And who cares if you can't parallel park. You didn't hear it from but Jay hyung failed his drivers test three times just because he couldn't parallel park," and that got a laugh out from you. Jungwon smiled proudly that he managed to make you laugh. "And you're wrong when you said no one wants you. I want you."

You blinked once, twice and thrice. He wanted you? "You're just saying that cause you're my best friend," you replied.

"No," he firmly said. "I like you, Y/N."

(Jungwon doesn't know where he got this sudden surge of confidence, but the mood was the perfect time for him to confess. It was a one time chance and he had to take it.)

You chuckled. "I like you too, Jungwon. We are friends aren't we?"

"No, Y/N. I like you. More than friends."

"Oh." Oh.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of neck awkwardly. Oh no, did you not feel the same way?

While you on the other hand, were malfunctioning on the inside. Your best friend just confessed to you and you were frozen on the spot. Why couldn't he had done it over text instead. If he had done it over text, then you could've left the message unread and you could've spammed Wonyoung for help. But the thing is that it wasn't over text and you couldn't just tell him to wait here while you panicked to Wonyoung in your bathroom.

Yang Jungwon likes you. And you like him too, right? Because if you didn't, your cheeks won't be heating up right now and your heart would have not be beating rapidly like it was going to break your rib cage any second. If you didn't like him, there would have never been butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. You like Yang Jungwon, you like him a lot.

"Me too," you whispered, it was soft but it was enough for him to pick it up. Jungwon eyes snapped to you, doe eyed filled with hope. "I like you, too," you said, this time louder. And you made sure you looked him in the eye when you confessed.

You watched as Jungwon's mouth morphed into a big grin. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped to his knees, surprising you. "Jungwon!" you squeaked, bending down to help him.

"I'm fine! I'm fine," he assured you as he stood up with your help. The grin on his face was still there. "It's just that … you like me," he breathed out. "You like me back, wow. I-I can't believe it."

Your face was definitely burning with embarrassment. You punched him lightly on the shoulder, turning away to hide your face. "Believe it, you dork. I like you, okay!" Somehow his grin was able to grew wider at your words, Gently, he took your hand in his.

"How about we stop this study date, and I'll take you out on real date?"

© chaeryybomb 2021

a/n: thank you so much for reading this <3

[holocened]

fah sarika sathsilpsupa. cis female. she/her. presenting lady SURIN KACHAPRAI, thirty-year old earthbender and researcher from ba sing se. inquisitive yet obstinate, they find themself apprehensive to fire lord chaesan’s reign. will this be their salvation or their undoing ? 

howdy !! i’m mitzi (they/she) and i’m v excited to be here with surin ^___^ haven’t been in rp for a hot minute and tumblr’s new look is v much throwing me off so sorry in advance for any mistakes :[ anw!! everything important can be found on her about page but i’ll include some more details and tidbits here too for funsies (+ convenience lol). if you’d like to plot, then pls hit the like button and i’ll drop by your dm’s !! 

long story short: noble researcher from ba sing se conducting not-so-legal-or-permitted research on dragons and how to weaponise them for the earth kingdom :grimace:

backstory wise, she’s the bastard child of a minor house in ba sing se that specialises in research and allegedly espionage (if i have the dates right maybe they have connections with the dai li?). her biological father is the head of the house and her biological mother is someone she’s met only once—resulting in the scar across her face.

when she was eleven, her biological mother tried to come back for her and things got out of hand resulting in a destroyed wing of the house, a missing person, and a kid with no recollection of what happened other than the literal mark it left on her.

nineteen years later and she’s more or less “over” what happened, considering 1) she doesn’t even know what happened cos everyone just said it was an accident 2) she’s a bit too busy trying to uncover state secrets to even be curious about her own background lol!

has an awkward and tense rl with her family, feels obligated to carry out everything as instructed seeing as it was her father who got her her job in the first place (plus success in this specific task means there’s less of a focus on marriage). her loyalty to the earth kingdom (+ attitude towards chaesan) is v much influenced by them.

been in the fire nation for around 3 months now under the guise of doing research on *waves hands around* something vaguely ecology-related idk 

but her actual expertise is in social and environmental history so she’s a bit like 🧍 w the current task (even more so seeing who the new crown prince is). it’s v intriguing nonetheless!

reports back to her father plus another senior researcher who haven’t proposed the findings (cos theyre still a wip lmao) to the royal family & co., so it’s pretty unlikely that other earth kingdom nobles are aware of this

doesn’t necessarily have the mannerisms of a typical noble considering she barely attended any events beyond the ones she had no choice but to + was taught to remain somewhat unnoticeable and inconspicuous for various reasons. being from a minor family makes that a lot easier too.

good with books and information, alright with most people, absolute flop at earthbending aside from tricks for convenience and some defence rip

+ gets shit done, calm & easygoing disposition, fantastic at compartmentalising, meticulous in even the most trivial things, willing to risk certain things if that means she can carry out her task as needed

- loyal to a fault, stubborn when she doesn’t have to be, a bit of a poor communicator, not as efficient as she could be, prone to falling for the finer things in life as a means of stress relief (it’s abt rituals y’know)

as for potential plots... erm.... let’s leave that for brainstorming <3

[enden-k]

hi youn you don't really know me but i just wanted to say your tags on that most recent reblog of the "reblog art posts you like" post are so real and i really appreciate you taking the time to write all of that. i'm a hobbyist content creator myself (i do it for myself + my close friends) but i've never really posted anything online because i worry about basically exactly that kind of thing. especially with my ocs. i don't think i'm capable of making myself not look at the notes, the one time i made a text post it somehow got like 60 likes and 5 reblogs and from that other post you reblogged that looks actually pretty generous which is horrifying to me.

anyway um thank you. as someone who regularly puts effort into running their mouth in the tags of art+writing posts (and has gotten multiple dms thanking me for doing so, actually!) and is too afraid to post on this site, i really really agree that reblogs and especially heartfelt tags make such a difference, and the situation here on tumblr is really discouraging to active creators and to new/silent creators as well. like current creators getting fed up and leaving is a big concern obviously but there is also already content being missed before it's even posted. and i would be really surprised if that weren't the case for many other young creators that just decided to keep their ideas to themselves because of all this.

i know personally when I see this happening to artists (including writers) that i really look up to what it really feels like is just that fandom is dying. like it's just a small handful of content creators here holding each other up (the majority of that handful of reblogs) and everyone else is probably on some kind of a mindless content scroll. likes to me are like a little hand wave, like a "hey I saw this thing!" marker, but reblogs are like taking a picture of it, going "hey I like this!" or "i want to see this again!" and it feels kind of weird to see swarms of people just kind of giving a little thumbs up/wave/brief nod to something they theoretically like.

sorry this got so long!!! i just really appreciated your post and i had a few thoughts and then i wrote a whole wall.. (also no pressure to post this (though it's also ok if you do)! mostly wanted to let you know that post meant a lot to me)

hi, dont apologise or worry about the length of this message! its all fine!

i forgot to mention it in the rb tags and my post earlier but YES. yes exactly, reblogs esp with tags on it, ppl gushing or talking about the creation they rb is always the best thing for a creator. this can literally make our days, i have messages and tags saved for whenever i feel unhappy about my stuff so i can look them up again! it really means a lot, so not only do you show your love and support to the creator and their work by rb, it can also make us so so happy to see you talk about it

and yes, its really really hard for new/starting creators to post here, bc of this issue. as well as for OCs!!! thats mostly why i also keep my OCs away and just do fanart bc honestly, i think this would actually sadden me so i dont want that. and knowing that many people do that too is very sad bc theres so much stuff people wanna show but dont dare bc they feel like no ones gonna look anw. so much creativity and wonderful works, kept hidden/unposted or not appreciated enough, its really saddening

anw, same thoughts honestly. thanks sm for the message!

lets keep creations, no matter if art or writing, fanwork or OCs, alive by actually reblogging it instead of just mindlessly liking it; lets give new/starting people a chance to show their work

[peaches-writes]

naturally

description: there’s something about bang chan, even if he’s not some senior crush you’ve pined over from the very beginning or a friend you’ve known forever, that just makes realizing that you’re in love with him as something that feels right member: chan genre: fluff, slice of life, high school au, college au, friends to lovers au, sports au (off season universe), campus dj au (if u squint), slow burn (?), fem reader word count: 12k wtf warning: explicit language, alcohol, a plot that makes zero sense note: idk what this is it’s so messy anw + @skzwriternet​

Chan came in your life quite late—both literally and figuratively.

The two of you were in the 12th grade when you met, at a time when all everyone cared about were getting into their respective dream universities and establishing a solid group of friends to call back once they’re already on their separate ways. He got stuck in traffic that day and wasn’t allowed entry past the school gates at first because he didn’t get his uniform on time while you and your group of friends were on time in class, completely unexpecting of a new addition to the group as you all worried about the upcoming entrance exams.

“Oh, look at that, new kid.” Minho nudged your elbow and whispered loudly close to you that day, gesturing to the spaces between the curtains of the window facing the hallway. Outside, Chan was being ushered to the faculty room at the other end of the hall by a teacher, head hung low in embarrassment that he stood out with his black hoodie and sweatpants. “And no uniform on the first day—I feel like we should adopt him!”

You didn’t pay much attention to it at first, shrugging before returning to your messy Homeroom notes. An election was to be held at the end of the week and maybe, just maybe, you were thinking about it. “A bit risky, don’t you think? Right before the exams.” You mused out loud, more to the classroom elections than to the transferee.

“Do you think we’ll get him?” Minho asked anyway despite the lack of interest in your tone, leaning on your side of the shared table with a propped up elbow. “Or will Dahyun and Bam’s class next door?”

The answer was given to Minho over five minutes later, when the gentle sound of your Homeroom adviser’s voice was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Excuse me, good morning, Ms. Park!” The faculty head, Mrs. Liu, peered in your room that day with Chan trailing behind with curious eyes. “I’m so sorry for the interruption but your transfer student is now here!”

In front of the classroom, Ms. Park welcomed Chan with a smile and clasped hands. “Ah yes, Bang Chan, finally! Come on in!”

Chan introduced himself in awkward giggles and a slight miscalculated step when he didn’t immediately see the elevated area separating the black board and the first row of desks. “Hi, I’m eighteen-year-old student Bang Chan and I moved here from Sydney, Australia! Please take care of me!” You remembered him introducing himself at Ms. Park’s request before being seated right next to Hansol on the other end of the fourth row.

Minho, who eyed the boy curiously the entire time, sat up properly after and told you, “I’m gonna ambush him at recess. You wanna come with?”

You knew even then that you didn’t have to answer the question because as the bell rang for recess time, Minho had dragged you over to Hansol and Chan’s table as soon as he saw you pick up your wallet.

“Hi, I’m Minho and this is Y/N and we’re about to kidnap you!” Minho exclaimed as the two of you approached the unexpecting boy, earning you wide eyes from him. “If you want to, of course. Y/N’s gonna be class president again by Friday and I’m gonna be fighting Moonbin to the death for basketball captain so we’re clearly overqualified to show you around.”

You remember Hansol toppling over in laughter while you turned away in embarrassment. Not that it was uncommon for the most nonsense things to come out of Minho’s mouth then—in fact, it was quite the opposite.

Fortunately, Chan was easily persuaded. “Uh...sure, why not?” He grinned with relief, pushing his chair away from his desk and picking up his own wallet before following you and Minho downstairs to the cafeteria.

You ended up helping him buy snacks from the cafeteria and showing him around what you deemed as the most important areas of the campus within the thirty-minute recess. Because of the short time, he met your other friends belatedly at lunch.

Chan came in your life quite late—both literally and figuratively—but you suppose it’s not that bad because you’ve been friends ever since.

Minho was ‘disappointed but not surprised’ when Chan tried out for the swim team instead of his basketball team—his words not yours.

Club Week was not actually a week but a week and a half, giving everyone time to either succeed or fail in the clubs they signed up for and move on to the next. Since you were elected Class President, you decided on sticking only to what you considered your most important clubs for senior year: Volleyball and the school paper. Minho, on the other hand, unfortunately lost his ‘fight to the death’ with Moonbin over the team captain title but he kept insisting that it was because he really was fated to be the cheer dance team’s captain instead.

“At least, it’s one less sweaty kid I have to worry about.” You jokingly assured Minho once Club Week was over. You and your group of friends were huddled on your usual table that lunch break, comparing training and review center schedules.

“Ya, what does that mean?”

“It means you’re in two sports clubs and you never shower after any one of them!” Dahyun points out for you across the table, earning her ‘ooh’s and high-fives from everyone. “You should be embarrassed, Mingyu’s on three teams and he literally showers on Febreze.”

“But I do shower, just not as religiously as everyone.” 

“Why not?” 

“Climate change!” 

You turned to Chan amidst the playful chaos, shaking your head in feigned disapproval. “Sorry, they’re five.”

The boy only chuckled. “It’s okay.”

“I’m glad you joined the school paper too, by the way.” You made sure to add, hinting that you saw him at your club assembly the week prior despite the large turn-out of people. “I heard from Jihyo at our last council meeting. Broadcasting, right?”

“Yep,” He nodded with pursed lips and an eye smile. “so you guys will hear me DJ for the rest of the year too.”

“Can’t wait.”

Chan’s first gig as the school radio’s DJ was the Friday that followed, in the middle of your student council meeting. He sounded nervous at first, which made you, Jihyo, and Seungkwan laugh while you were presenting your batch’s initiatives for the whole school year, but he made it out alive—and even included a shout out for you.

“Also, shoutout to Y/N! Thank you for showing me the ropes this month.” His voice echoed faintly through the hallways at lunch break. A pause then followed, what you assumed was Changbin and Jisung scolding him, before he snickered and said, “I guess Minho and Hansol, too! See you tomorrow, you guys!”

Ever since the 7th grade, you’ve made sure to follow each and every one of your closest friends’ extracurricular activies. From Dahyun’s and Jihyo’s recitals to Bam Bam’s and Minho’s competitions and meets, you were always there: half as a volunteer for the school paper and the other half as a cheering friend. It’s your way of looking out for your friends, by standing in the sidelines for support. 

So naturally, with the addition of Chan to your friend group, you always came to his swim meets with a camera, a write-up outline, and a tarpaulin you’re quite sure Minho and Bam Bam didn’t make while sober the night before.

“Like the slogan, dolphin boy?” Bam Bam snickered at Chan as he sat on his designated waiting area right in front of your bleacher. It was the final tournament for the semester and your two other friends have decided on a lazy ‘Let’s go Dolphin Boy!’ decorated in glitters and a Photoshopped photo of Chan’s head in a dolphin. “When are you going on?”

Chan turned to your group and immediately slapped a hand to his face in embarrassment. “Oh my God...”

“To set the record straight, Jihyo and I were studying together last night and Dahyun was at piano lessons.” You held your hands up in self-defense to an eyeroll from Minho. “The poster’s all on Bam and Minho.”

“I know.” Chan mumbled behind his hand, removing it slowly after. “I’m on in five minutes. And what happens when I do get a place on the stands?”

“Then we’ll stand up and wave this harder!” Minho answered this time, aggressively waving the cartolina and causing a few glitters to scatter on your jeans.

“Minho!”

Chan competed in 1500 m I.M. and all the butterfly relays on that day and only then did you notice that he liked competing in them more than the other categories. You took photos and noted the important details with Bam Bam’s agile typing on your phone throughout the event, up until Chan received his mostly gold medals—when Bam Bam and Minho did kept to their word and ambushed the poor boy by throwing the slogan over his head when he asked for a group photo with everyone.

“This is like the Avengers of extended friend groups!” Dahyun joked once the chaos has died down and you’ve managed to get everyone to prepare for a couple of group photos. “Now I’m even more excited for dinner!”

A couple of Chan’s childhood friends also came that day—Younghyun, Somi, Sana, Lisa, and Matthew whom you befriended after over dinner that was Chan’s treat. It looked more like a weird family reunion to you than what Dahyun thought but you laughed anyway as you adjusted your camera settings.

“Okay, you guys ready?” You asked the group once everyone’s settled down, arms slung over each other and bright smiles ready to be taken for Instagram updates. “One, two—“

At the center of the photo, with a big bouquet of roses and several medals, Chan suddenly shifted in his position under Matthew’s and Younghyun’s arms and asked you, “Wait, wait, wait...Y/N aren’t you joining?”

You shook your head, making everyone erupt in protest. “Ya, then who’s gonna take the photo?”

Minho doesn’t exaggerate it one bit whenever he recalls this that Chan literally bolted out of the group to pull in his nearest teammate to take the photo, quickly tugging you to him afterwards and positioning you right in front of him once the group photos were taken. You ended up with his arms and his bouquet draped over you in all of the photos.

With the college entrance exams fast approaching over a month later, you found yourself juggling your academics, cram school, Volleyball training, student council, and the school paper all at once. It was manageable at times, with the help of your teammates and clubmates, but of course there would be days when you would almost fall asleep on the spot at Saturday cram school, in particular.

Chan was no better as he balanced academics and cram school with his own swim training, the school radio, and preparing a portfolio for his talent exams at the Departments of Music for every university he applied to.

Fortunately, you both went to the same cram school with everyone else. Seated next to each other, you bought Chan coffee while he passed you candies and chocolate he would get from his mom through the mail.

“You, uh...” Chan nudged your knuckles with his softly one time, alternating his gaze between your open notes and the formulas being discussed on the white board two rows ahead. “The answer’s 2.”

“Hm?” You hummed tiredly, free hand supporting your cheek as you tried so hard to pay attention and follow along. The day prior was meetings upon meetings that lasted until 8:30 PM, pushing all of your time allotted for homework to midnight since you had to take the bus home. To say you were so tempted to fall asleep then was an understatement.

Knowing this, you saw Chan take the liberty of writing the correct answer on your notes through your half-lidded eyes, poking your knuckles with the end of his mechanical pencil after. “You have the whole solution down but the final answer is 2, silly.” He chuckled softly, discreetly passing you another gummy bear from under the table. “Do you even know what you’ve been writing?”

You nodded even though your brain was barely processing anything, receiving the gummy bear after. “I think so?” You mused out loud, making him laugh. 

“We’ll just have to go through this again later. You should’ve stayed at home and rested if you’re so tired.”

You found out later, when you were much awake to have lunch at a nearby cafe with Chan, that the boy took down the notes for you in a fashion similar to your note-taking technique for you to copy—and that he drew a small dinosaur on the margins of your notebook with a text bubble that said, “You can do it!”

Chan has made it a habit to bring you an extra thermos of coffee and drew little animals on your notebook whenever the two of you were bored ever since.

You showed up at Chan’s doorstep on his first Christmas Day in Korea, not really expecting to see his mom with his aunt on the other side of the door.

“Hi.” Chan mustered up a rather confused smile, growing even bigger and less shy right in front of you the longer he gazed at your own wide eyes and long travel coat. “Y/N, hi.”

“I thought you were—“ You unconsciously gestured to his extended family running around the hallways behind him, furrowing your brows. “Hi, um, should I just—should I just go?”

Chan furrowed his brows, instinctively pulling you closer to the doorway by your arm once he noticed the snow falling harder behind you. “What? Why?” He asked at the sudden proximity. “What’s up?”

His unintentionally blunt tone with the question definitely had you caught off-guard and flustered. “O-Oh, I just thought—I thought you wouldn’t be with your parents and siblings for Christmas so I came over.” You cringed internally at your truthful but rather cheesy answer. “Everyone’s skating at the mall today and I thought of inviting you because I assumed that you’d be lonely here with just your uncle and auntie...”

Another smile, an amused one, settled on his lips as you talked. “Really?” He mused out loud to which you nodded absentmindedly at. “We could go right now, if you want. My mom would probably tell me to bring Hannah and Lucas along, though, if that’s okay.”

Your eyes widened for the second time that afternoon. “W-We can, yeah.” You nodded slowly to both questions, breaking into your own smile.

“Okay, come on in first, then, it’s cold out.” Chan then took you by the same hand inside, closing the door behind him and leading you to the shoe rack for your boots. “My mom’s been looking for you and everyone else since they landed here too! You should be able to stop her from fussing over dinner so much.”

You met Chan’s parents and siblings that day, almost getting stuck in his aunt and uncle’s house because of his mom’s excitement at meeting one of her son’s friends in Korea until Chan smoothly brought up your offer of going to the skating rink with his siblings. You eventually left the house with him and his younger siblings right before Minho could text you that you were taking too long.

“You do know how to skate, right, Chan?” Minho asked when you arrived. He sat between you and the boy in question to rest his feet from racing with Dahyun, removing his skates and stretching his legs forward. “Y/N and Jihyo suck at explaining things she’s already good at and Bam Bam’s a deer walking for the first time so the choices for teacher aren’t really looking so well for you right now.”

When you looked over at him from Minho’s shoulder, he simply shrugged. “Shouldn’t be that hard. It’s just ice and blades, right?”

But it ended up being very much so, at least for him as he ended up reaching for yours and Jihyo’s hands before you could even run off to join Minho and Dahyun on their race. “Okay, okay, I was wrong!” He exclaimed dramatically, gloved hand meeting your own when Jihyo jokingly moved her hand away. “I’m going to fall over!”

“You’re doing fine.” You rolled your eyes in feigned exasperation, holding his hand anyway as you slowed your pace. His siblings then passed by the two of you, giggling over their eldest brother tripping on ice. "Look, even your siblings are doing fine and you came from the same place as those two.” 

“Chan, you’re being dramatic.” Jihyo added to tease him further, gracefully sliding away from the two of you. “‘It’s just ice and blades, right?’ You’ll get used to it!” 

Then, as if for unintentional emphasis, Chan almost tripped at this and instinctively held your hand tighter. “I really am going to fall if I let go.” He pouted, linking your arms together instead. “Can’t you really teach me?”

You unlink your arms, catching his hand again. “Fine, I’ll try but don’t cling to me too much.” You pointed out, laughing when he interlocks your fingers together. “You swim in deep ass Olympic pools back and forth like it’s nothing, ice shouldn’t be that scary to you, you know.” 

With that, you spent the rest of the afternoon teaching Chan how to balance himself on his skates (and getting him out of Minho and Dahyun’s way as the two circled the rink like two roller derby players). He perfected his balance at the end of the day but he still wouldn’t let go of your hand so naturally, you came back next year. 

And next year eventually turned into an annual tradition between the two of you. 

The exam results then came in the middle of your final Volleyball game which was probably not good for your adrenaline levels but everyone found it amusing.

Your team was leading in the final set, 23-22, and you could tell as you delivered volley after volley that your opponent was already losing hope. On the sidelines of the open gymnasium, Bam Bam and Minho held up the ugliest orange cartolina ever with ‘HAIKYUU THAT SHIT Y/N!’ in mismatched marker colors while Jihyo, Dahyun, Chan, Hansol, and Seungkwan screamed their lungs out for your team.

You’re quite certain the cartolina got confiscated by your coach after for inappropriate language, you’re not quite sure even at present because you never saw it again, especially when it was dropped to the ground the moment everyone’s phones started ringing because of an e-mail from school.

You noticed it from the sidelines, even as you and another teammate delivered the final volley that lead to your victory. Chan held your phone with a bright smile on his face, directing it to you after as you and your team huddled for a group hug and greeted the opposite team for the last time.

“Congratulations!” He greeted you as soon as you’ve celebrated enough with your teammates, waving your phone in front of you as he approached with everyone jumping not far behind him. “On both!”

“Both what?”

Before Chan could even answer you properly, you were engulfed in a big hug by Jihyo, Seungkwan, and Dahyun. “You did it!” They exclaimed in unison. “You passed all of the uni’s you applied to! We all did!”

Immediately, your widened eyes and agape mouth sought Chan for confirmation, to which he simply nodded with a laugh and a thumbs up. “No way...” You muttered in disbelief, gaining feeling back in your frozen legs after to jump along with everyone in your group hug. “No shit, no way! Congratulations, guys!”

“Congrats to you too, dude! You won twice today!” Jihyo pointed out, making everyone laugh. “We’re still on for BBQ, right?”

“Well, I can’t be the only one paying now since we all passed the exam!”

You got hugs from the others as well (and an extra one with a high-five from Seungkwan because he was just so hyped about your volleyball game), receiving from Chan last since he wanted a photo with you after.

“We could do a group photo, you know.” You tried suggesting as you held your Finals tournament trophy in between the two of you. Hansol has both of your phones side by side in front of him, adjusting the settings a little before taking the photo.

“We could but that’s for later. I need a new contact photo for you!” Chan insisted. Before you could comment on his ridiculous excuse, however, Hansol was already taking photos of the two of you.

Chan did set a photo of you from that day as your contact photo—specifically the one where you were pretending to dump invisible water from the trophy over him. It’s ridiculous and it still makes everyone laugh whenever Chan’s phone lights up with this photo.

Graduation celebrations naturally came after, as soon as Spring Break was over. Bam Bam threw a house party for your batch that was anything but sober and civil, the clubs each had send-off parties, and the student council planned a Graduation Ball which was mostly just yours, Jihyo’s, and Seungkwan’s excuse to dress semi-fancy and have Chan invite Younghyun to invite his band, Day6, to perform a whole set of their new songs.

You came with your friend group, or at least you and Jihyo convinced yourselves that you did since no one bothered to look for dates. It had been your finals before the Saturday of the graduation ball and, on top of that, the two of you were busy ‘student council-ing’ as Minho worded it, organizing the event with the school faculty and a few parents.

You did dance with everyone by the end of the night too, Minho pulling you along by the hand in a group hug as you yelled out the lyrics to Days Gone By—one of the last songs of the evening. “Finally you can join us!” He exclaimed dramatically, pressing a kiss on top of your head as he slung an arm over your shoulder. He didn’t actually need to worry about spending time with you since you’re all staying in the hotel for the night anyway. “Loosen up, will you?!”

On your other side, you could only hear Chan laugh as Bam Bam proceeded into the center of your big circle to dance, challenging an unexpecting Yugyeom nearby after. He stole glances over to you occasionally, a fond smile on his lips whenever you’d catch him in the act. He actually wanted to ask you to dance but decided against it last minute, growing too shy at noticing that the crowds are mostly dancing in friend groups rather than pairs until it was ultimately time to retreat into your hotel rooms.

“Goodnight and happy graduation, Seoul High!”

Fortunately, however, Chan made up for this by waiting on you after the dance. You stayed behind with Jihyo and Seungkwan for an hour more once the students have either gone back to their hotel rooms or migrated to the hotel lobby to wait for their rides home; Chan was more than happy to lend an extra helping hand as you thanked the staff and made sure that the packing up was done orderly.

“You did well tonight,” He complimented you sheepishly as the two of you carefully packed up the stage’s sound equipment. The microphone he was trying to remove from the stands was still on then, making his voice echo faintly through the hall. “organizing the event and all.”

Your face heated up against the now softer stage lights as you moved the guitar and music stands from the center to the side where a staff member was waiting for you. “T-Thanks, Chan. Did you have fun?”

He simply nodded this time with a sheepish giggle, passing you the microphones after making sure they were properly turned off.

After this, Chan politely walked you and Jihyo back to your shared room with Dahyun just two floors above the one all the boys in your class reserved for themselves

“Night, Chan! Make sure you’re not being too loud with the boys downstairs, okay?” Jihyo bid him goodbye quickly with a small yawn and a mischievous smile as she opened the heavy door to your room with ease. “I’m pretty sure Bam brought that wireless microphone with him again—and it’s probably Mingyu or Seokmin’s idea again.”

“Don’t worry we won’t, I’ll make sure.” Chan nodded sheepishly before waving goodbye to her. Once she’s inside, he then turned to you and said, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You nodded slowly at him, a little hesitant. When he raised his eyebrows at this, you then suggested, “Um...I know this is sudden and it’s like 1 AM but you don’t happen to be in the mood for McDonald’s, right?”

“Seriously? At this time?” 

“I’ll buy you an iced coffee if you want.” 

So you ended up at the McDonald’s two blocks from the hotel where your graduation ball was held, wrinkled dress suits and all. You talked for what seemed like an hour more, played with the Powerpuff Girls happy meal toy he bought on a whim, and got scolded through calls and text from your friends because you didn’t invite them. Since this day, the two of you have been buying each other’s coffee from McDonald’s.

Bam Bam and Minho both moved further West in the city, the latter sharing his uncle’s old apartment with another friend of his, while Jihyo dorms with Mina, another friend of yours from another school, up North. Besides these, no one made a drastic change to move houses or dormitories from the area your parents considered near since everyone else attended universities relatively near. At university, especially on your first year, you, Chan, and Dahyun mostly stuck with each other; just now with the addition of Lisa who ended up attending the same university and Jacob whom Chan befriended in his classes.

Sometime towards the end of your first semester, when Bam Bam and Minho skipped school to crash one of your semi-finals Volleyball game, your now larger group of friends decided that Chan would ‘take one for the team’ and get a driver’s license for all of your travelling needs. He lost against Jacob and Dahyun of all people in the most intense game of rock-paper-scissors you’ve ever seen. 

Because of this, for the two weeks leading up to finals week, you ended up risking your life accompanying Chan to practice in his aunt’s old SUV. During this time period, he either took you to and from university as well or from your neighborhood to the bar and grill you started frequenting with him and the rest of your friend group. It’s not that he’s bad at driving, his parking skills were just initially a cause of worry for you whenever he was driving in crowded places. 

“Am I close?” Chan asked you on your first day of finals, leaning over your side of the car to check the side mirror. You had your reviewers for your Communications class glued to your face throughout the entire twenty-minute ride but that didn’t stop you from simultaneously being anxious of hitting someone else’s car right in front of your college building. “Can you check?” 

You opened the window and briefly peeked your head out, turning to Chan after and almost jumping at how close he’s gotten. “It doesn’t even look like you tried.” You laughed through your immediate flustered expression, making him lean back in frustration as he prepares to move the car again. “How long have we been here? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” 

Chan pouted, keeping a hand on your head rest as he now carefully re-attempts to parallel park. “Just five minutes.” He mumbles, alternating his gaze quickly between the front and back of the car. “So that means you’ve been studying well this entire time.” 

“Your driving is already good I could even sleep in, it’s just the parking that’s worrying.” You pointed out teasingly, leaning on his hand to glance back at the situation behind you and poking on his new arm bands. “Speaking of, you do know that you don’t even have to park, right? It’s not like you’re going to wait for me.” 

“But I’ll wait for you.” Your eyes met belatedly as Chan finally parks the car. “It’s just 30 minutes, right?” 

“It’s two hours, Chan...” You quirked a brow. “Didn’t I text you that?”  

“Really? Ah, well...I’ll just...” Chan chuckled sheepishly, clearly realizing his mistake at the last minute. “I can totally just hang around, I guess.” 

But the problem was, Dahyun didn’t have class that day, Lisa was organizing a club party, and Jacob was in his own volleyball training. Chan ended up loitering around the swim team for a while and impulsively buying you lunch because he didn’t want to waste gas. 

You bought him lunch when he passed his driver’s license in return. 

“You probably need glasses now.” You pointed out to him as you happily ate your Burger King inside his car. The nearest branch to the driving school he attended had a relatively big parking lot, making the two of you sigh in relief that he didn’t have to parallel park this time. “I’m pretty sure I texted you that my exam was from 10 to 12.” 

Next to you, Chan had his seat reclined and the windows fully open as he sipped on his Cola and munched on fries. “No, I checked it again the other day and you texted 10 to 11.” 

“What?!” When you do check your phones, only then do you find out that you did mistakenly text him 10 to 11 instead of 10 to 12. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry! Should I buy you another burger?”

Chan simply shook his head and snatched the ice cream cup you’ve been saving. “I’ll just take this, thank you!” 

“Ya!” 

The first time the driver’s license actually came in handy was on your first volleyball game as a university student. Chan went on a round trip around the major universities in Seoul to pick up all of your friends which almost caused you to be late to the game but you could barely care then—you were too pumped over the idea of all of your friends coming together to watch you.

Besides, Chan volunteered to be a courtside reporter for the game so you weren’t scolded by your coach alone.

“Good luck out there!” Chan nudged your side with a wink as the two of you prepared to enter the arena with your team. He made sure that he had his microphone off twice this time. “I’d really love to interview you when you win.”

“When have I ever lost in front of you, hm?” You teased with a grin of your own, just as the backstage doors opened to the cheers and drums of your university. 

And, true to your word, you win the game a little over an hour and a half later. With a small trophy passed around from your teammates and the promise of a day-off from your coach, Chan was the first of your friends to approach you.

“And here we also have SNU women’s volleyball team newest recruits, Y/N and Chaeyeon!” Chan introduced you and your teammate in front of the cameras. In the distance, you could see your friends then: Jihyo, Dahyun, Mina, and Lisa holding balloons in the color of your university, Bam Bam and Minho holding their usual embarrassing slogan, and Jacob jumping up and down excitedly over your game’s turn-out. “This is your first game and first win of the season, congrats! How does it feel, you two?”

Your eyes met Chaeyeon’s instinctively to your right, making the two of you giggle shyly. After a mini game of passing the microphones between each other, you eventually ended up answering, “Um, we’re very grateful that our first game gave us our first win as new members as well and we hope that we’ll continue doing even better in the semi-finals!”

“Yes! Everyone’s hoping so too, especially after watching your play today!” Chan commented, clearly going off-topic then by the way you noticed how his mini crew of fellow students looked surprise and even checked their own cue cards.

Once the interviews were over, you were then whisked away by Minho and Jacob—the former to catch up with you while the latter was so excited talking to you about your game.

“Dude you were so good out there! Like that serve on the first set that really riled up the opposing team’s captain? And and that over the net move you did with Chaeyeon! We should have a practice game sometime!” Jacob always talked a million times per second over things that excited him but you didn’t mind, at least now Minho had someone to compete with over who could say the weirder thing.

The interaction placed a rather childish pout on Chan throughout the ride to your promised Korean BBQ dinner, no one but Lisa paid it too much mind.

“Stop pouting you look ugly.” She said to the poor boy with a feigned judgmental face, switching seats with you earlier for the ride to dinner so you can discuss volleyball with Jihyo and Jacob. “Why are you even pouting? Something on your mind?”

“Nothing.” Chan only furrowed his brows and frowned, glancing over to you on the rear view mirror to see you laughing along to a video Minho was showing everyone on his phone.

it’s not Minho that bothered him, everyone with eyes and a braincell have always known that he’s in love with his current roommate.

Jacob, though...you play the same sport and are both equally passionate over it! It definitely made Chan think.

“Nothing looks like she’s having fun, huh?” Lisa mumbled under her breath in response after a moment, breaking out into a laugh when Chan finally glances over at her with a confused look. “Nothing!”

Lisa made sure you sat next to Chan after, dragging Minho and Jacob by the ears to the other side of the table.

On your second year, your favorite junior from your previous school finally entered college. Seungmin was also on the student council, school paper, as well as in the high school baseball team who often practiced with your volleyball team so you basically considered him your ‘child,’ much to his annoyance. Though he attended a university that was nearer to Bam Bam’s and Minho’s, you pestered Chan into driving you almost once a month to his dorm to visit, anyway. 

Chan would’ve said no every time given his own busy schedule but you promised him every time that Felix, a friend of Seungmin’s who happened to come from Australia as well, and Jeongin, another junior you unofficially ‘adopted’ in high school, would also be there. 

“Chan, I need to go to Seungmin’s, it’s an emergency.” You greeted Chan one day right after your afternoon classes. You found him in the library, studying for second semester midterms with Lisa and Jacob which did made you feel bad but you really couldn’t wait for the next bus anymore.

“What kind of emergency?” Lisa asked, prompting you to shake your head. 

“The kids said it’s very bad...” You continued shaking your head frantically and that was enough for Chan to pack up his things and lead you outside to his car. 

When the two of you arrived at Seungmin and Jeongin’s shared dorm, Chan was more than confused at seeing the former sprawled out on the common area carpet with his arms folded over his chest like a vampire while the latter and Jeongin hovered over him with worried looks and mini fans. 

“Is Seungmin dying?” Chan asked you with genuine worry as you approached, which would’ve made you laugh with the choice of words had you not just been vaguely called on short notice to deal with the situation. 

You didn’t get to answer him at first as your first instinct was to sit down next to Seungmin and ask Felix, “We came here as fast as we could. What’s wrong?” 

In front of you, Seungmin groaned in pain and rolled over on his stomach, hiding his reddening cheeks from you. “Y/N, why are you here?” He whined, bringing his arms up to his head to hide his face further. “Did these two call you?”

“Yeah they did.” You answered firmly, rolling the boy on his back again that prompted more complaints from him. “Now, what’s wrong? School? Sports? Friends? Are you okay?”

It took a moment for Seungmin to remove his arms over his face and answer you and it undeniably made you and Chan nervous. When he did answered, it was what you least expected from him as he said, “Y/N, I think I have a crush...” 

A pause then followed as everyone simply stared back at Seungmin who immediately hid in his hoodie once again. 

“Oh for the love of God, Kim Seungmin! Are you kidding me right now?! I came all the way here for this?” You smacked him in the arm once you’ve recovered, finally breaking out into laughs as the other boys toppled over in laughter. Turning to Jeongin and Felix, you then asked, “So why did you call me? You could’ve called Minho, he literally lives three blocks away.” 

Felix and Jeongin glanced over at each other and shrugged. “He said he’s having love problems,” Jeongin pointed to Seungmin innocently before turning to you. “So I thought of calling you. Aren’t you and Chan a thing?” 

This time, it was you and Chan looking at each other and laughing. “No, no, we’re not a thing.” He clarified for you with a dismissive wave. “Y/N’s married in a poly relationship with academics and extracurriculars.”

“And Chan’s secretly a merman so it’s a hard pass.” You finished his thought jokingly, looking over at Seungmin after. 

“You guys, I’m still in a situation here!” Seungmin frowned, lifting his head up to place on your lap. “I’m fucked, basically.”

“Well, since we came all the way here and gas is expensive, do you want to talk about it? Lix and I can cook dinner.”  

With that (and a few more words to get Seungmin off of the floor), you managed to drag the lovestruck boy into the kitchen and cooked him tonkatsu with Felix and Jeongin on your tail. Chan kept him company the entire time, peering over his shoulder as he narrated the story of a certain figure skater he met at his Freshman welcome assembly. “We’ve been friends for a while and I really like them but they’re always getting into trouble!” Seungmin mostly rambled, making you, Jeongin, and Felix snicker with your backs turned.

“All the more reasons to see them often, then?” You suggested, much to Seungmin’s annoyance.

“Won’t I be too obvious? Or too doting? Maybe they don’t like that as much since they’re so independent. Agh, what do I do?!”

“Play it cool like you always do, kid.” You answered simply, patting his head affectionately as you passed by his spot to retrieve a basket of condiments “What do you think, Chan?”

You clearly caught him off-guard then by the way his eyes slowly widened and he instinctively sat up straight. “O-Oh, u-um—yeah, what you said...” He eventually agreed with a nonchalant shrug to cover up his shaky actions. “Don’t overthink it or else nothing happens.”

You re-joined Jeongin and Felix across the kitchenette with a chuckle, nudging Jeongin with your elbow after. “You kids are growing up! Ah, but it still kinda feels like yesterday when you two were just messing around back in high school.”

“We’re a year below you, what are you talking about?” Jeongin pouted, eyes not leaving the side dishes he was preparing. When you don’t tease him further about it with another side comment, he then adds, “Sorry for assuming you and Chan were dating by the way. That wasn’t weird, right?”

You shook your head reassuringly. “No, it’s cool! I’m just curious where you’d get that from.”

“Minho said—“ And that was enough for you to give your aforementioned friend an earful the next time you saw him after.

“So, Chan’s not dating?” Felix asked next to which you nodded at. “Oh, cool!”

“Why? Do you have someone for him?”

Though Felix didn’t say anything more specific after that, Chan was then coerced into a friendly blind date to the movies a week after, you heard it at his new sideline podcast with Changbin and Jisung of all places.

“I—“ Seungmin’s first reaction was to clasp his hands together while the two of you were listening to the podcast episode in YouTube. “I spill out my heart to you guys and over tonkatsu then I find out that this happened right under my nose that night?”

It was a month since his dramatic confession and a little over two weeks since Chan went on the blind date and you’ve been taking the bus with Dahyun to visit the kids ever since. Chan thought he did something wrong but you’ve assured him multiple times that you’re just trying to be considerate of him since he now has an additional person on his plate.

Dahyun also wanted to visit Jihyo and Mina so you decided on commuting with her in particular.

“Ah, well, that’s life—or college...or maybe both.” You shrugged. You often studied in their dorm living room to pass the time if Minho wasn’t up for being bothered with in his apartment—you found out throughout this that studying with a Legal Management major like Seungmin motivates you to go through your rigorous readings. “How’s your crush by the way? Any progress?”

“They want to try speed skating! Do you know how dangerous that is? Not to mention, the legality of it all...”

“This person seems like they get you up on your toes. I like it! Makes things a bit more exciting, don’t you think?”

“It just makes my head hurt.” Seungmin sighed, rubbing his temples dramatically for emphasis. “I can’t help but worry...”

“I think you’re sweet looking out for them like this.” You assured. “But it’s not sports if you don’t get hurt and we both know that.” 

“Then what do I do?” 

“Just look out for them. I’m pretty sure they’re not all that clumsy as you make them out to be—you said they’re an athlete, right?—but it’s still important to be there for support and help when they really need it.” You half-shrugged, not really knowing what else to say. “But not just as someone who has a crush. Be a friend first and foremost—I mean, obviously, since you’re not dating, you’re just friends, hopefully for now. Yeah, that’s it! Don’t overthink it, you’re friends not married!” 

A thought then seemed to pass Seungmin as a small smile formed on his lips. He then pulled his knees close to his chest and leaned back on the sofa behind him. “So, is that how you are with Chan?” 

“What?!” 

“I mean he’s sort of dating right now but don’t you have a crush on him?” The younger boy asked in genuine curiosity. “Honestly, I was surprised that you let him go on that blind date with the Soyeon girl Felix recommended, much less a second date this weekend.” 

“No—I mean no, I don’t have a crush on him.” You refused calmly though your voice clearly shook a little but not for the reason Seungmin thought it was. “We’re just friends. You’re going off-topic!” 

Seungmin’s eyes lit up in interest. “Well, I thought about it so we’re talking about it now! Have you seriously never thought about it?”

“No, but I am now because you brought it up!” You shook your head back truthfully before smacking his arm with your reviewers, making him pout and wince at you. “Don’t do that! You’re like—you’re trying to brainwash me into having feelings or something!”

Seungmin instinctively held his hands up, filled with his own lecture notes, and shook his head at the accusation. “No I’m not!” He pouted at you to no avail. “I’m just saying that I’ve always thought there was something, with how you two are so close.”

“You and I are close, Minho and I are close,” You argued back with a small pout, crossing your arms. “Heck, Bam Bam and I are close and we grew up together since the 4th grade.” 

Again, the boy shook his head stubbornly. “Yeah, we’re all different kinds of close, especially Chan,” He claimed with so much conviction. “You look out for me, Minho, and Bam Bam but Chan looks out for you as much as you do for him, if that makes sense.”   

“See you can’t even reason out properly and you’re in Legal Management.” You scoffed playfully. “I look out for everyone the same way, Chan’s not that kind of special for me. Also, it’s basic human decency, Seungmin. I can’t believe you don’t look out for me back, to be honest.”

Though you came off as perfectly unbothered by this, there was a period when things started became awkward on your end and it frustrated you until the end of your second year. 

Seungmin teased you to no end for it to make up for your equally endless questions about the person he’s taken interest in, Minho kept bringing it up whenever the two of you met or hung out in his apartment, and Dahyun only confronted you about it when it started becoming inconvenient for her as yours and Chan’s mutual friend.

“Chan keeps texting me if we want a ride to Minho’s but I already told him that we’re on the bus right now.” Dahyun showed you her phone on another one of your many commutes to Minho’s side of the city. By this time, it has been two months and three dates for Chan, with your time spend with said boy having reduced significantly. “Are you guys okay? Have you been talking lately?” 

You furrowed your brows and nodded in genuine confusion. “Yeah, why?” 

“It feels like he wants to ask me about you but he won’t say it directly.” Dahyun shrugged, leaning back on the seats. “It kinda gives me the impression that you guys fought or something.” 

“We didn’t fight.” You assured with a small frown. “Nothing happened, really.”  

“Then what is it?” 

It took you a moment to answer as your mind instinctively went to the conversation you previously had with Seungmin. “I...you know when someone points something out to you in a different light and then it makes you think of a lot of things?” When you saw Dahyun nod slowly, you then took it as your cue to admit, “It’s something like that, I guess.”

And like you, it also took a moment for Dahyun to answer. “Well, how do you feel about it?” She asked back as a response. “I think I know what this is about but you don’t have to tell me if you’re uneasy telling me about it.”

And you were uneasy and confused, very much so. “I don’t think I’m feeling anything special about it, really.” You admitted in a smaller voice, finding your attention flitting down to your hands on your lap. “I feel like I’m just thinking too much on what that someone said and how they said it.” 

“Then it’s probably nothing, easy as that. Don’t let people’s words get into your head too much, especially on things like this—if we are thinking of the same thing—or else it’s gonna feel like you’re being forced into having different feelings or think differently.” Dahyun shrugged with a reassuring smile. “If otherwise, even then don’t overthink it too much. Just let things happen as they are.” 

When you didn’t respond immediately, she then took your silence to quickly add, “Anyway, bottom line is, whatever it really is that you’re feeling or thinking, don’t ignore Chan for it. Talk to him about it specifically if it helps just don’t make him feel left out just because you’re on a one-sided awkward situation.”  

It was a tough love kind of advice but Dahyun pestered you about it until she saw you approach Chan first over a week later, when you personally asked him to carpool to Bam Bam’s place for a year-end party.

You’ve never seen Chan’s face light up as much as it did on that day at the campus library. 

“R-Really?” He stuttered out in disbelief and suddenly, all hints of drowsiness had disappeared on his expression. “I mean, c-cool! Uh, what time should I pick you and Dahyun up?” 

“Ah, well, what time should you pick up Soyeon if she’s going to carpool with us?” You asked slowly, rubbing your nape awkwardly as you stood next to his table. 

His eyes widened in surprise before an equally awkward chuckle came out of his lips. “Soyeon’s not carpooling with us.” 

“Hm?” 

“She’s going with her own friends since they’re nearer to her place.” Chan nodded absentmindedly, pulling a chair for you to sit down. You took the place without hesitation, neck heating up in embarrassment over the thought that you seemed too eager. “We’re not actually dating anymore.” 

“Oh?” You furrowed your brows as quickly as your expression almost lit up. “I mean, since when, if it’s okay to ask?” 

“Since last week. I don’t know, we agreed that it’s really...not happening between us.” Chan shrugged nonchalantly, going back to his lecture notes. “It’s cool, though, we’re studying together next week at the new study hall near Itaewon.” 

You nodded, exhaling a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding until then. “At least it’s not awkward or anything.” 

“What about us?” 

You immediately looked up at this, meeting Chan’s somewhat hopeful gaze that had you unexpectedly stammering, “W-what do you mean?” 

“Did I do something wrong?” He pursed his lips nervously, voice growing smaller with each other. “It’s just that we haven’t talked a lot lately—or maybe I’m just overthinking it...” 

You were quick to shake your head, mustering up a small smile. “No, you didn’t do anything.” You assured him gently. “I’ve just been—it’s nothing.” 

“Really?” 

You nodded, breathing in another sigh of relief. “Yeah, I just had a lot of things going on then. It’s okay now.” 

And it really was okay then. Talking to Chan again assured you at the time that you liked him as a friend. You really really liked him at the time as a friend. 

Third year meant preparing for your senior year and going on your Junior Year internship which is probably why Bam Bam scheduled a trip to his hometown in Bangkok in the summer before this. It was just him, you, Chan, Dahyun, Jihyo, and Minho as a kind of mini high school reunion—the small kind of gathering everyone naturally hopes for with the pacing of university life. 

You stayed at his family’s house where his parents offered you the entire expanse of the living room to have a movie night and sleepover in on your first night, right before the overwhelming itinerary Bam Bam planned for the next five days. 

“Rock-paper-scissors for the beds!” Bam Bam announced after your sixth movie of the night. The Meg really wasn’t that amazing in your collective opinion but that didn’t stop you from putting it at the bottom of your To-Watch list just to throw as much nonsensical comments as you can on it. “The expandable couch goes to first, second, and third; the smaller one goes to fourth, and fifth and sixth get the air bag!” 

Unsurprisingly, you and Chan had to share the grey air bag because you simply were just unlucky that night (you accidentally got a Pringles bag that had more air on it than chips prior) and Chan was so sleepy right next to Minho from cramming a passion project with Changbin and Jisung on call. Not that you minded, you were actually glad you didn’t have to put up with Bam Bam kicking you in his sleep or Minho waking you up with his cuss-filled sleep talking. 

“Are you okay with this, sharing an air bed, I mean.” Chan had asked you as you prepared to sleep some time at 3 AM. He was hunched over on the side of the mattress that wasn’t pushed to the wall, laptop perched on top of his area as he continued fighting sleep and finishing his project. Everyone else had gone to sleep earlier. “I can totally just ask Bam for a sleeping bag if you want me to.” 

“It’s okay.” You assured him as you spread the blanket over the entire expanse of the small air bed before sliding in and taking your phone out from under your pillow. “Aren’t you slidi—tucking in too, though?” 

His face lit up in genuine surprise, slowly shifting into appreciation and fondness right in front of you as he caught the concern in your own face despite the phone blocking his view. “In a bit...I’m just making a few adjustments with this.” 

Changbin and Jisung erupted into yells on the three-way video call, their voices bursting so suddenly on Chan’s headphones that he immediately muted them before you could ask or even notice. 

Fortunately, you didn’t. “Oh, then don’t stay up too late, Chan.” You pointed out in even more concern. You knew how he could get whenever he pulled all-nighters, you realized. “We have to start really early tomorrow—or later.” 

He hummed absentmindedly with a small nod as he continued nodding, glancing back up at you again after a moment. “Then you should go to sleep already, you don’t have to wait up for me.” 

“Who said I’m waiting up for you? I’m scrolling through my Instagram.” But despite your teasing tone, you still ended up scrolling through your phone until he finished his project, bidding Changbin and Jisung a quick good morning before ending the call and sliding in under his share of the covers. 

“Okay now go to sleep.” He chuckled tiredly as he gazed down on you, hand accidentally brushing against your own in the small gap between the two of you as he placed it right next to his head. 

“But you’re watching me,” You frowned disapprovingly. “turn around or something.”

“I sleep better like this and what if I closed my eyes and you took pictures even with my back turned?” He feigned a pout, bringing his hand under the pillow as he shifted more comfortably in place. “You sleep first.” 

“You’re so childish.” You giggled, shaking your head stubbornly. “I won’t do that.” 

“As if you aren’t too right now. You’re probably thinking about it.” 

“On three, then? One—” 

“Two—“ 

“Three.” With your cue, the two of you then closed your eyes at the same time, only to peek one each right after. “Ya!” 

You eventually managed to fall asleep at the same time half an hour later with Chan reluctantly turning around for you once you had your eyes closed. He’d only see your sleeping expression a little bit later, when he woke up to use the bathroom at 7 AM and came back to check up on you sleeping comfortably and move more of the blanket to your shoulders. 

“Look at these eyebags, you could carry souvenirs in them later.” Minho chuckled next to you on the ride to your first trip destination after, laughing even more when you swatted his index finger that moved up in an attempt to poke your eyes. “Nightmare? The Meg wasn’t even about ghosts, Y/N.” 

“No, I just slept late.” You sighed, leaning back on your seat. “Chan and I stayed up a little longer.” 

At this, Minho’s eyes visibly lit up and he wiggled his eyebrows mischievously at you, prompting a disgusted look on your face. “Ooh, did something spicy finally happen between you two?” 

“No—and please never do that again, it’s disgusting!” 

“It’s my eyebrows!” 

Minho ended up teasing you throughout the whole trip, anyway, as you and Chan repeated almost the exact same routine every night.     

You had your Junior Year Internship at a media network across the city and though Chan insisted multiple times that he can drive you to work before going to his own at an entertainment company in the opposite direction, you managed to convince him that you really can commute this time and spend the night at Minho’s if you went overtime. No hard feelings this time. 

So with what his presence in your life suddenly lacked in being your everyday transportation, he made up for by spamming you constantly online. 

“This place has Tim Tams in their cafeteria!” He’d send you the most random photos and videos of his day-to-day working in song production at the entertainment company, from actual work-related matters like sophisticated equipment he was allowed to use to the small things like the extensive cafeteria food and his boss’ pet Labrador. “What are you having for lunch?” 

Being a P.A. at a media network, however, was much more fast-paced and required you to be running everywhere on your work hours. Chan understood, of course (hence the sudden influx of dog photos during a particular period that had you working overtime almost every day), but it still made you feel bad for replying so late because, whether you admitted it or not, his constant updates alleviated your stress. 

More often than not, his spams would be responded with photos of you on the subway and video clips of Minho and his roommate who are always practicing cheer dance moves in their living room. “I had three Snickers today but I drank a lot of water so that should count for something!” You often replied, following with a clip of Minho falling on his butt after tiredly trying to land a flip. “This is your Minho update of the day. He’s getting there! I think he’s going to try out for cheer dance captain this year!” 

At the end of the semester, Chan was more than happy seeing you again, so much so that he treated you with lunch and even offered you ice cream after. “You’re going to make up for all the full meals you’ve missed this semester!” He insisted as he picked you up from Minho’s place. The two of you ended up at a ramen house which was a far jump from your usual fast food dates—something you thought about the entire time. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.” You laughed but you let him order you food anyway since it was free. “Extra nori and eggs, please!” 

You exchanged internship stories throughout the entirety of your lunch, laughing along to his stories of falling asleep in the middle of work and hearing his endless teasing over you getting starstruck with assisting your favorite artists on the job. You didn’t actually miss out on a lot of his shenanigans (that’s how heavily he spammed you) but you stayed in the ramen house for more than two hours, unconsciously drifting off to different topics and gossiping about your friends until the slight embarrassment of overstaying creeped in.

“Speaking of friends, I haven’t seen everyone else lately too.” Chan mused on your ride back home. He had his CD he secretly produced over his internship period playing on the radio as well as one hand on the steering while while the other fought you over the air conditioning. “I just know that you and Jacob train for volleyball together on weekends, Lisa’s busy with club duties, Bam Bam’s on an exchange student thing and Jihyo recently introduced us to the person she’s dating now.” 

You leaned back in your seat and shrugged, finally giving up on the air conditioning to open the windows instead and admire the Han river on your side of the road. “Well, you know how Minho’s been doing with my updates and I haven’t seen Dahyun in a while too since she’s taking the most classes this semester.” You explained, extending your hand outside to feel the gentle Autumn breeze. Chan, despite being the swimmer between the two of you, thinks you’re crazy for liking the cold better. “As for many many other people I know, they’re either studying really hard or starting work now. Time flies and friends come and go, I guess...” 

When you glanced over at him again, you saw his face scrunched up in thought as his hands blindly found the gear stick to slow down at an intersection. Once you reach the red light, he then meets your gaze, uncertainty in his expression that he tried playing off with a shrug. “Yeah but...is it weird if I said I don’t want that to happen with us?” 

“N-No?” You found yourself answering before you could fully comprehend the question. Clearing your throat, you tried joking it off, “I think you might’ve taken the ‘I’m class president let me show you around’ thing back in high school, Chan.” 

He shrugged, smiling as well at this. “Maybe I did, who knows? I like spending time with you.” 

“I force you, you’re my ride around the city.” You teased, hints of sincerity coming through your tone of voice. 

“But that’s because I like you, isn’t that what people do with people they like?” He said it with so much nonchalance but you couldn’t help but feel flustered at this, a reaction you immediately hid by laughing. 

“You like me too much, it’s going to cause a traffic with all this sentimental stuff,” You pointed out, the cars behind you suddenly honking annoyedly as if on cue. “See? Even the people behind us agree.” 

Chan wasn’t offended, however, not one bit as he continued rambling about liking you all the way to your dorm after. It flustered you at first, especially with how casual he was being, but, as you neared the turn to your dorm outside of university, you eventually caught up with teasing him back about it. 

When you thought about it on your own once he left, you realized that you somehow liked it. It felt very natural—as if it’s something that’s always felt right hearing from him. 

“I like Chan.” 

“Yeah no shit.” Minho agrees absentmindedly, Seungmin and Jeongin nodding along while emptying their take-out boxes. You carpooled with Chan today as he drove Felix and Jisung somewhere to help them finish their term research paper. You were only supposed to hang out with Seungmin and Jeongin but Minho decided to ambush the three of you with Jihyo and Mina on their way to join your group at the younger boys’ dorm. “What else is new, Y/N? We haven’t met up like this in a while so I was expecting something spicier!” 

“No, I mean—” You roll your eyes at him, smacking him with your rolled up lecture notes but to no avail. The boy simply opened his phone to check his messages, frowning when he then comes across a message from Jihyo and Mina informing him that they’re stuck in traffic. “I really like Chan.”   

“Okay, and then?” 

“I’m telling you I actually like someone then you dismiss me.” 

“And I mean that took you a record-breaking three years to say.” Minho points out, finally closing his phone and propping an elbow up on the table to face you properly. “What has you sharing this to us on this fine Saturday, hm? Did you get jealous over someone again and got so insecure that you realize your feelings? Did you get stuck in a really small space, admired his face a bit then realize that you think he’s cute? Which trope is it?” 

You shake your head disapprovingly at him, briefly glaring at Seungmin and Jeongin when the two start snickering next to you before answering, “Nothing, just...we talked lately and I thought that I really like talking to him.” 

“So you don’t like talking to us?” It’s Jeongin teasing you this time as he sipped on his juice box, earning him a crumpled ball of paper on the head. “I thought it’d be more grand like in those K-Dramas.” 

“You flood your crush with Pepero boxes and now you’re talking big with K-Drama confessions.” Seungmin points out, making the other boy in question roll his eyes. 

You open your mouth to speak but Jeongin beats you to it. “Talk to me when you’ve confessed to that figure skater at your university, baseball boy.” He says before turning to you again, placing a hand over Seungmin’s face and dramatically pushing him away by his head. “Anyway, back on topic! So, will you ask him out?” 

“I don’t know, should I?” You frown, leaning back on the sofa behind you with your arms crossed. “Wouldn’t it be weird?” 

Minho shakes his head. “It’s 2020 so go wild, my friend. Anyway, if it doesn’t work out I already got my driver’s license—though I will tax you since you live far away.” 

You roll your eyes, hitting him again. When his roommate passes by, half-asleep and dragging their feet towards the kitchen, you hear them request another smack on Minho’s head on their behalf as if on instinct. “I mean, do you just go for it? What if you don’t feel enough for people for it to work out?” 

A pause then follows in the room, even Minho’s roommate momentarily stopped gulping down water from across the open common area. Seungmin and Minho sigh while Jeongin only raises an eyebrow with the same curiosity.

“Yes, Y/N.” Minho answers after a moment, tsking at you as he does so. This time, you gather the energy to smack him for the fourth time as quickly. “It’s dating not marriage, just see what works and what doesn’t.”

Seungmin opens his mouth to say something else, probably to comment on how Minho doesn’t apply the sentiments to his own love life, but he nods in agrement anyway. “I think it’s like you always tell me: don’t overthink it.” He adds instead, briefly turning his head to Minho after. “But I’m going to pretend you didn’t bring it up first, hyung.” 

Don’t overthink it. Even Jihyo and Mina agreed when they arrived, pestering you into going over your entire rant and dilemma again once they arrived with beer and convenience store food. Dahyun too, but only a little later when Jihyo puts her on FaceTime.

“Just wing it,” She even added to assure you, glitching a bit on video because public library wi-fi has never been better than that.. “it’s just Chan, what could go wrong?”

And really, with Chan, nothing ever does feels like it’s going to go wrong even when the situation has your heart on the line.

“Chan, give me your hand.” You extend your hand out to his side of the car with your palms facing upwards, chuckling when he glances over to you with wide eyes. “I won’t tickle you this time, promise.” 

“So what are you going to do?” He asks as he reluctantly moves his hand from the steering wheel to your hand, alternating his gaze between the road and you on his side in long intervals. “I’ll have you know that we’re about to turn to a narrower road so don’t try anything funny.” 

“Like I said, I’ll just hold your hand.” You feign a pout, bringing your hands down on the compartment in between your seats. “There.”

You won’t tell it to his face right now, of course, but holding his hand is comforting to you.

He invited you to a small film festival for today, a thirty-minute ride to a place he only heard of on the poster for it that he showed you at the start of the week. “Bam Bam’s too busy to come with so I thought I’d invite you since you’re free this week!” He explained over the phone and you knew Bam Bam is really busy when it’s you who Chan is inviting to these kinds of everyday. “They have lots of animated movies on the line-up too so I immediately thought of you!” 

“Your hands are so small.” Chan comments after a moment, shaking your intertwined fingers gently as the car stops at traffic. 

You poke on his knuckles in response. “You just have really big hands.” 

“Your hands are clammy too.” He points out next with a laugh. “Are you okay?”

“Because you won’t turn the air conditioning up, dumbass.” You roll your eyes, scoffing when he doesn’t move his hand anyway. “So why don’t you let go?” 

“Because I like holding your hand.” He shrugs, biting down a small smile. The traffic still won’t move and he takes this as an opportunity to look at you as much as he can. “I like you a lot—even with your clammy hands.” 

“I—” You freeze with your mouth hanging open, finally catching onto his smile. “Ya, what’s with the smile? Did you...did Minho say something?” 

“What? No. I can’t smile now?” And it’s the truth, you find out much later when Chan calls Minho for you and puts him on loud speaker to disprove your suspicions. “Why? What am I supposed to not know until now?” 

You squint your eyes suspiciously at him, shifting your hands around his but to no avail. “That I—I was going to say it first today. I like you too—a lot.” You sigh in defeat, leaning back on your seat and twisting your body to face him properly. The traffic is slowly starting to move again and Chan briefly turns away to move the car, turning to you as soon as traffic permits him again. “It’s a bit embarrassing to say right now, my hands are so clammy and you’re holding onto them the entire time.”

“It’s not because you’re nervous, right?” He asks with the smallest glint of teasing in his eyes which you shake your head at immediately. “It’s just us.” 

“I told you, it’s because the air conditioning’s too low.” You chuckle, finally relaxing your shoulders in relief. Chan then lifts your hands up to the air conditioning unit jokingly, turning up the level with his knuckles. “And it’s exactly why I’m not nervous, because it’s just us.” 

“Me too, to be honest. I’d be freaking out right now if Minho or Lisa or just anyone else peered over our shoulders.” You hear him mumble under his breath in a sheepish giggle. A thought then crosses his mind as he glances over to you, the traffic now moving much more smoothly. “So, I can still ask you if this is a date, right? The cinema’s still five minutes away with this traffic.” 

You pretend to purse your lips in thought, bringing your hands back down once they’ve dried with the sudden rise in temperature. “Isn’t this too last minute even for you?” You tease, making him frown. “Ah, well, better late than never I guess.” 

“I’ll make it up to you on the second date, promise.” He assures you, turning right to your destination. “Jus don’t back out on this being a date now, okay?” 

“Of course not.” 

“So boring.” It’s Bam Bam teasing you this time, Minho agreeing on the side. The one time he’s actually free to hang out and he sasses you throughout the entire night. “I expected more from you two.” 

“It’s...two people dating in college, not a romcom, Bam.” You deadpan before taking a sip of your soju. 

He shrugs from across the table anyway, passing you another bottle. “I guess being in love makes you a little boring. I don’t blame you.” 

You slap a hand up to your forehead while Chan is practically drunk and dying next to you in embarrassment. “Oh God...” 

[wonwoonlight]

hope not (part 1) | yoon jeonghan

A/N: Hi! This was a... random words throw up. I wanted to write for someone other than Wonwoo bc I feel like I write him a lot compared to the other (lol) and somehow I ended up with this long Jeonghan fic. I’ve decided to break this one into two (or three?) parts, though, simply bc it would take place in different settings hoho. anw. i hope you’ll enjoy this... angst experiment!

➝ Jeonghan x Reader (ft. Woozi)

➝ word count: 4072 words.

➝ angst (???) idk but its deffo not fluffy // idol!au // “exes”...meeting again. 

here’s part 2!

Why did universe decide it would be a good idea for you to have a duet project with Yoon Jeonghan, you have no idea.

When your company said you’d be having your first solo project, you and your members had been beyond excited; they all knew how much you loved singing and, if anything, they hoped this would bring your vocal to light to a bigger audience.

Though, you didn’t think, of all people, it would be a duet with Yoon Jeonghan from Seventeen.

How on earth did your small company manage to get a project with Pledis, you really had no idea. You couldn’t really blame them, though. They had no idea you had a past with him because whatever that was going on between you and him was never clear; you couldn’t even say he was your ex. Because he wasn’t. Despite the way you both had acted, the memories you had buried down, the few chaste kisses you had shared: you weren’t his girlfriend.

Your company had been somewhat mysterious when they told you about the news. “You’d be having a duet project with someone from a big-name boy group. You’ll take it, right?” they had asked as if you had a choice. You immediately accepted, though; it’d only been a year and a half since your group had debuted and a singing solo (technically a duet) project was something you couldn’t reject.

You couldn’t remember when was the last time you actually saw him, to be honest. Was it four years ago, when he waved goodbye after a date, not telling you it would be the last one? Was it two years ago when you were gearing up for your debut and the manager was touring your group in a broadcasting building? Or was it last year when you had your first comeback, overlapping with Seventeen’s last week of promotion?

You couldn’t tell.

Sighing again, you put down your phone as you reached for your iced tea, trying to calm your mind.

“Are you okay?” Your manager asked, his eyes focused on the road as he drove.

You nodded. “Yeah, just… uneasy,” you said, which wasn’t exactly a lie.

“Because of the meeting?”

You hummed a yes.

“It went pretty well, don’t you think? They even asked for your opinion even though the arrangement is practically done.”

You paused before answering. “Yeah. Just… hope I wouldn’t ruin this.”

When was the last time Yoon Jeonghan sat down in front of you, looking at you in the eyes? You hated yourself for not remembering—it’d been that long. But what’s the use of remembering the past, you’re not sure either way.

The moment he had stepped in the room, you had unconsciously held your breath. You didn’t expect it to hurt as much when he gave you a polite smile and bowed to you, introducing himself as if you had no idea who he was and vice versa.

He had talked just as much as he needed to and you were noticeably quieter than you usually were. Your manager had brushed it off as you being nervous (which wasn’t exactly wrong either) and had talked a lot in your stead, which you were really thankful for.

It had felt like a fever dream. You wondered if your eyes were messing with you when you caught him stole a glance at your direction. You had tried not to look at him at all during the meeting; your eyes wandering to the wall behind him when he addressed you so you wouldn’t seem like you’re obviously avoiding his eyes. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything about it.  

“You’ll be okay. You are a great singer. I don’t think they’d risk having a project with someone from a young group if they didn’t see anything in you, yeah?” your manager tried to reassure you.

You nodded, whispering a thank you as you wondered how on earth were you gonna go through recording sessions with him.

After a couple of meetings exclusively consisting of you and your members in the dorm, it had been decided the best way to act was to play dumb. (“Plus,” your leader had said. “He introduced himself to you first, right? You just follow through and act like that was the first time you saw him, okay?”)

Hands clenched; you exhaled a deep breath before your manager knocked on the door in front of you. It was the Woozi who greeted you both, welcoming you in and saying he’s looking forward to this project.

“It’s nice to meet you. I hope I won’t cause you problem.” You bowed to your senior, greeting him in respect.

Jihoon laughed a little, somewhat embarrassed, as he slightly scratched the back of his neck. “I hope I won’t be a problem to you. Sorry I wasn’t able to come to the meeting, there was an emergency.”

“It’s really okay! It’s my honor to be able to work with you!”

After a few other pleasantries, he handed you the lyrics sheets, going over whatever he felt like you needed to hear and then asked if there’s anything you’d like to add.

For you, it’s okay even if I’m in pain

Because when we were together

I kept on hurting you

But you, I hope you’ll meet the love you’ve always wanted

Someone who is better than me

And be happy

I just hope you won’t forget me*  

“Did you write this by yourself?” You asked instead.

“I arranged it by myself,” he answered, cracking his fingers out of habit. “Jeonghan helped a lot with the lyrics, though.”

You glanced down at the sheet again before smiling bitterly, letting out a quiet ‘ah.’ Was fate playing with you? Or was this Yoon Jeonghan once again playing god making decisions by himself?

“Should we rehearse first? I’m not sure if Jeonghan would come today, I heard he has a schedule but I don’t know when that will end,” he offered and you unknowingly let out a sigh of relief, making Jihoon turn in question.

“Are you… glad that he’s not here?”

You blinked once. Then twice. Did you actually sigh in relief? “Ah… I’m just… nervous because you guys are a big senior and all.” You managed to reason, giving him a sheepish smile.

“If you’re fine with me I think you should be okay with him. People are usually more reluctant with me than they are with him,” he shrugged, not seemingly bothered.

“Because you look intimidating?” You asked.

Jihoon turned to you, surprised, not expecting you to actually say it. He just chuckled softly, though. “Yeah. And I am rather quiet around people I’m unfamiliar with so I don’t blame them.”

You smiled at him, and then you picked up the lyrics sheet to start rehearsing. Jihoon seemed pleased, though he did point out some things about how you sounded too tense at certain parts and you should just relax. He seemed to understand why you’re nervous, though. Thankfully, most of the time he seemed to be content and you couldn’t help but think you’re doing a good job, after all.

Not long after, you had become more relaxed with Jihoon and singing in front of a big senior-slash-producer became considerably easier.

“Should we try recording?” he asked after an hour (or was it two? You really couldn’t tell) of going through some parts again and again, making sure you and him were in the same page regarding—well, everything.

You went into the recording booth, focusing on the lyrics sheet on your hand even though you had basically memorized every single letter there as one of the staffs helped adjusting the mic height and handed you a headset. Jihoon checked once again if everything’s fine; and when you gave him an ‘OK’ sign, he nodded before playing the song.

It was then that Jeonghan entered the studio, and you didn’t notice him at all, too focused on singing. Jihoon, too, was focused on your singing so he simply nodded when the older guy greeted him.

Jeonghan took the lyrics sheet on the table as he sat down on the sofa behind his brother, though he couldn’t lie and say his gaze wasn’t settled on you behind the glass. It had been so long since he heard you sing—or just your voice in general. Saying you had improved was disrespectful to say the least, you had gotten so much better in singing that Jeonghan could feel pride swelling inside him. He quickly shut the thought away, though. He wasn’t in any place to be feeling that way towards you. He left you without saying anything a few years ago and he’s well aware forgiveness was a luxury he didn’t dare to dream getting.

“Is she recording all in one take?” Jeonghan asked.

“No,” Jihoon shook his head. “We had been rehearsing outside the booth earlier and I wanted to hear her sing the whole song first before breaking through parts.”

The older guy let out a quiet ‘ah’, his gaze steady at you.

And I’m still here, unable to forget you.

His breath was caught in his throat listening to you: to your high note, to the lyrics he wrote himself, to the way you sounded so emotional particularly during that part. Did you realize it was yourself behind those lyrics? Did you know that when he had seen the lyrics draft Jihoon was working his head immediately went to you?

I just hope you won’t forget me.

You sang the last line of the song, your eyes still closed until the very last note.

It was then that you realized.

It was then that you opened your eyes to glance at Jihoon only to meet Jeonghan’s eyes boring into yours from the other side of the glass window for a split second.

You quickly averted your gaze from him, pretending to be going through the lyrics as you tried to calm down your beating heart that didn’t seem to want to run a little slower.

“Hey, you can come out,” Jihoon announced for what seemingly not the first time as you could see confusion plastered all over his face.

You snapped out of your daze, quickly taking off the headset and getting out of the recording booth. You bowed at Jeonghan, not looking at him at all as you greeted him.

“Jeonghan came in not too long ago.” You nodded at Jihoon, not knowing what to say. “You guys met during the meeting, right?”

You nodded again, giving him an awkward smile.

Jihoon was about to say something about the awkwardness you’re radiating but decided against it. Maybe you really were nervous. He decided it would be better to just get into business rather than try to disperse awkwardness. For whatever reason he didn’t know, you were much more tense in Jeonghan’s presence.

“Should we try having you both sing together once or twice before we start recording?”

You started the song first, your voice a bit shaky and you knew Jihoon was going to say something about it but he held it back for now.

Even though there’s no use regretting

I keep on thinking about you

As Jeonghan started to sing, you looked down at the sheet you’re holding. It didn’t hit you until much later how tight you’re gripping the paper that it’s almost crumpled under your hand.

And as if nothing ever happened

I will smile at you if I ever meet you again

It took a lot not to cry at the sound of his voice, at the lyrics he’s singing to, at the sudden memories of him singing you to sleep when nightmares haunted you.

You blinked back the tears, though. There was no time for this. That was an event of the past and right now you’re just working with him. Jihoon was in the room and he didn’t need to catch on what’s going on. There’s no good in giving anyone knowledge of those period of time you still held dearly in your heart. It was enough that you kept it to yourself. “…and act like that was the first time you saw him, okay?” you heard you leader’s voice inside your head, trying to get a hold of yourself.

“Hmm…” the producer hummed, seemingly deep in thought as his fingers absentmindedly played with a pencil.

You were about to open your mouth, wanting to ask if there’s anything wrong, when Jeonghan looked at you straight in the eyes and shook his head, his finger went up to his mouth as if asking you to keep quiet.

“That’s how he goes when ideas hit,” he mouthed at you.

Simply letting out an ‘oh,’ you looked down again at your lyrics sheet, not wanting to say anything to Jeonghan that was unrelated with the project.

It hurt, though. The way he seemingly to be fine with this whole arrangement, that he seemed to be so composed and not affected by you even the tiniest bit. Maybe it was his decision to leave you, after all; not his company. You could taste something bitter at the tip of your tongue at the thought.

“Okay!” Jihoon suddenly exclaimed and then scribbled something on his sheet of paper, making you jump at his loud voice.

“How about we alter it like this?” Jihoon asked, explaining some changes he thought would make the song better.

It was hard. It was really hard being that close to Jeonghan while pretending not to know him at all. You knew, though. You knew that maybe… you didn’t. You didn’t know him anymore. Four years was a long time and he’s probably not the Yoon Jeonghan you were used to anymore.

Your gaze went up to him on the other side of the room. It was his turn to record and seeing him standing in front of the mic, his face expressing emotions as desperate as his voice sounded, brought you back to the time you spent karaokeing your hearts out with him.

You almost smiled at the memory. Almost.

Jeonghan suddenly stepped out of the booth, telling Jihoon he needed a restroom break. The younger guy just laughed as he motioned him to go.

“Hey, Jihoon?” You suddenly called to him when Jeonghan closed the door behind him.

“Yes?”

“Why…me?” You asked, genuinely curious. To be frank, you didn’t want to hear it was Jeonghan who asked for you.

“I’ve always liked your voice.” He shrugged. “And I thought your voice would go well with Jeonghan’s.”

You were about to thank him but got cut off when he continued. “Plus, I often see Jeonghan watching over your group though he never says anything about it so I guess… why not? I didn’t expect your company to accept right away, to be honest.” He chuckled.

Your lips went dry at the revelation and you really hated your heart for suddenly beating loudly again. Jeonghan…what? “Ah… really?” were the only thing you managed to say.

Jihoon didn’t seem to notice the change in you, though. “Yup. He’s rarely interested in girlgroups, so when I saw him seeing your performances again and again I thought he must’ve liked your group so much. Usually Jeonghan just listens to songs, not watch videos.”

“I’m back!” The guy suddenly announced, opening the door. For the first time that day, you voluntarily turned to Jeonghan to properly look at him, which startled him a bit.

With an eyebrow raised and his head slightly crooked to the side, Jeonghan asked a silent ‘what?’ at you. And as if it’s the most natural thing to do, you just looked at him in the eye and shook your head before your eyes casted down to your hands, holding one another together in a tight grip.

“Okay let’s take a break,” Jihoon announced, asking you to get out of the booth. “I think manager hyung has ordered some food? Let me check with him.”

Before either you or Jeonghan could say anything about it, Jihoon was already at the door, gaze on his phone.

It was suffocating: being in such limited space with only Yoon Jeonghan. It reminded you of too much things you’d prefer to remember when you’re alone in the comfort of your blanket, not here in front of the very guy. You didn’t need that.

You were about to get up, pretending to be getting a call from one of your members when Jeonghan suddenly called your name, making you freeze on the sofa you’re both sharing, a safe distance between the two of you as your hand awkwardly paused in your bag.

“How… how are you?” he asked hesitantly, you could detect the uncertainty in his voice.

The grip on your bag was getting tighter, you could tell. How should you answer this? You remembered your leader’s words once again: …and act like that was the first time you saw him, okay?

You cleared your throat. “Uh… I’m just fine. Thank you for asking, sunbae.**”

The formality pricked him, to be honest. But he knew he deserved it so he wasn’t going to push his luck. To be completely honest, he didn’t even know why his first instinct was to stop you the moment he realized you were about to step outside. He did it without thinking; it was probably his subconsciousness knowing he’d probably never get another chance to be in a room just with you ever again.

“I’m sorry I came in late,” he said, looking for things to say. “I had a schedule earlier and—”

“No. It’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you answered stiffly. Why was he making small talks, anyway?

Your words hit Jeonghan more than he thought it would. He knew you weren’t being sarcastic; that you genuinely meant those words without any reference to the past. But it hurt even though it was him who left without words. Funny how karma worked.

“I—”

“Please, Jeonghan just…don’t,” you said weakly, finally looking at him. “Don’t make this hard, okay? We’re doing fine without each other up until now so let’s just… pretend nothing ever happened. We can just finish this and go back to how it was before we met again, okay?”

That was meant to hurt, he noticed. He didn’t even remember when was the last time you had called him name and now that you did it just sounded so… tired. What was the use of knowing he was at fault if there’s nothing he could do to fix it?

He looked at you, then. Properly looked at you. You had grown so much during the past few years he was absent in your life and he wondered if being away from him was the better decision for you after all.

“You… sound much better than before,” he suddenly said.

“I’m glad I’m improving, then,” you simply said in return. You really didn’t want to talk to him but you couldn’t just let him talk to himself…could you?

Jeonghan sighed, making you glance at him. “Am I making you uncomfortable?” He asked straightforwardly.

“Are you comfortable with this?” You asked back and Jeonghan exhaled a deep breath, getting your point.

“Look I’m so—”

“I don’t want to hear it,” you interrupted him, going so far as covering your ears with your hands. When you’re sure he’s not gonna continue, you let your hands down and looked at him. You could see the hurt in his eyes and, to be completely honest, you felt bad a little.

“I’m sorry if this would come off as rude but I… really don’t want to hear that from you,” you said, sighing. You knew Jeonghan wasn’t going to apologize for what he did years ago. You knew he was just apologizing for bugging you just now but you just… couldn’t help it.

Jeonghan looked at you with sad eyes, his hands balling into fists out of his own frustration. What was he thinking accepting this project when it had been offered to him?

“Do you want me to pull out of this project?” he asked, his eyes not taking off yours.

You looked at him in shock, never imagining he’d say it so casually. “Are you crazy? No!”

“This project was originally offered to Shua, but Jihoon said I’d sound better for the song so they both pushed me to do it. I could just… make Shua take it back if you’d like. I can just make up reasons. Jihoon would understand.”

What concerned you the most was the fact that he said it so genuinely; as if he didn’t mind getting out of a solo project even though it would also be his first one. If there’s anything you understood, it’s the fact that having a lot of members in a group meant smaller chances of getting solo projects. Jeonghan finally got his turn and he’d turn it away just because of something like this?

“Look, I don’t know if you don’t remember but I’m not that shallow of a person,” you told him, offended. Did he not know you at all? “Just because we had our… differences doesn’t mean I’d sacrifice your effort. This is your song and it’s your project and you’d pull out of it just because some girl was uncomfortable with you? What the hell, Yoon Jeonghan?”

“But you weren’t just some girl…” Jeonghan wanted to say; but his voice was stuck. He shouldn’t be happy. No, he shouldn’t. Why was his chest getting warmth at your scoff, at the way you looked like you couldn’t believe what you’re hearing. When was the last time you had scolded him for his own good? He almost smiled at your frown, getting angry at him for putting your comfort first.

“I’m s—” he cleared his throat, swallowing his word at your glare. “Look, I don’t mean it that way, okay? I… apologize for offending you. But I mean, this project could’ve been Shua’s and if it came back to him, I’d be okay.”

You sighed, of course Jeonghan and his tendency to find reasons would never change. “I think we’re both mature enough to set aside the past and just… finish this, yeah?”

When Jeonghan didn’t answer, you looked up to where he was; finding him looking at you with something you couldn’t quite tell what. It hit something inside you, though, and that wasn’t good.

“Jeonghan?”

“What if I don’t want to, as you say, just finish it?” he suddenly challenged, slightly pushing his body forward to you.

You closed your eyes out of frustration, not understanding him one bit. You should’ve known not to ever try to understand him, though. Yoon Jeonghan was an enigma. You weren’t meant to understand him. You doubt he even understood himself.

Before you’re able to answer him, Jihoon went back to the room, his hands full with plastic bags full of food.

“I’m sorry I took too long. I met Soonyoung upstairs and he started talking and… yeah. You know he can talk a lot when he wants to,” Jihoon said, getting the food out of the bag.

“Anyway!” he exclaimed, thanking you for handing him a pair of chopsticks. “I think they’d make you guys film the music video a week or two after the recording is done.”

As you choked on your drink, Jeonghan quickly patted you on the back, taking the drink from your hand. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Huh?” He crooked his head to the left and then turned to Jeonghan. “Did you not go through this during the meeting?”

“We did.” Jeonghan bit his lip, having an idea as to why you might not be aware. With the time your manager had spent talking in your stead, he’s not surprised you missed a lot of things as you were busy avoiding his gaze during the meeting.

“Ah… I’m sorry I just… thought it wouldn’t be me on the MV,” you reasoned even though you knew you sounded dumb.

Jihoon didn’t seem to mind, though. He just nodded in understanding, muttering how that could happen if you’re distracted during a meeting without malice behind his words.

“Well it would be you and Jeonghan so I guess you guys should work on this whole… awkward situation,” he said absentmindedly as he mixed the food in front of him, finally addressing whatever awkwardness he felt since the beginning.

Jeonghan closed his eyes in frustration; Jihoon just had to be an airhead in front of food.

Now how on earth were you supposed to go through shooting with Yoon Jeonghan?

➝ part 2

A/N: how was that!! haha.

* the lyrics I’m using for this fic is from Blackpink’s Hope Not. this was accidental, I promise! I was going through lyrics of some songs and I thought this would fit the story best. So it’s not... exactly a song fic haha.

** tbh I don’t really like using Korean words for English fics because... I’m not Korean and I don’t see why I should be using Korean words, too. But I had to use that one to give the sense of formality, which wouldn’t translate if I had said “senior” lol. 

anyway! there’d be part 2 so I hope you enjoyed this enough to wait for that. I still don’t know if I’d make them end up together again or not, though. haha.