#anw life has been so dreary as of late and work has not been kind to me so
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#i always find myself wanting to do more for myself n my passion projects n dedicate actual time to learning stuff that i'm interested in#but i have so little time and so much other stuff to do and i hate that i'm just not comfortable enough with pursuing passion as a career#bc my passion wouldnt earn much here n passion needs money to fund. also i dont want to end up seeing my passion projects as tedious work#and so im perpetually stuck in this conflict of what i want to do vs what i need to do.... n this dichotomy makes me lose my mind sometimes#anw life has been so dreary as of late and work has not been kind to me so#i can't see any light at the end of the tunnel bc the tunnel is long n winding and never-ending as it currently looks#i really just want to be happy and feel somewhat fulfilled and content with my work and leisure time#these days i feel like i've not been learning much at work but am still doing So Much. Too Much. leaving little time for myself n my crafts#n damn. it's just very distressing that i'm kinda stuck in a wheel u know. like i'm just running on a wheel towards nothing#n the thing is i don't even need to have an end goal in sight. i just want to end every day feeling like i've done smth good for myself#something anything!#man......#personal
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