#anti dean x rory

[piperslovebot]

Emily Waltham 🤝 Lindsey Lister

Unfairly vilified in favor of the protagonist and treated badly by their husbands.

[theonethatwatchesalotofshows]

I actually saw someone on Reddit claim that Jess and Shane, just like Dean and Lindsay were perfect for each other before Rory came in and ruined it, which like... what show were you watching? Jess and Shane were not even in a real relationship, it was more a friends with benefits/we are bored so we'll make out kind of thing. Dean and Linday though? They were a dysfunctional couple and we saw them fighting on multiple occasions that had nothing to do with Rory. If they were so perfect, Dean would not have cheated. But sure let's pretend that they had a picture perfect happy marriage until that homewrecker Rory came in and seduced Dean 🙄🙄

[theonethatwatchesalotofshows]

Notice how Donna didn't immediately fly into rage here and dump Eric over this like someone else? That's where the similarities end

Same scene, different font

[distortedsincerity]

every time i rewatch the scene where rory speaks to lorelai after losing her virginity to dean, i am more shocked with how frequently people use it to give a bad faith reading of her character. the ‘my dean’ of it all is so often used as a “gotcha” moment to somehow prove what a selfish and horrible person she is, but when taken in the context it takes on a completely different meaning.

was rory right for sleeping with dean whilst he was married to someone else? of course not. does she have some sort of claim to dean? no. BUT that’s not what rory thinks either, not really.

she says, “i’m lucky too, because Dean, he’s … well aren’t you glad that it happened with someone whose good, and really loves me?”

this isn’t about rory’s entitlement, it’s about her compulsion to always be perfect (a narrative that season 4 in particular was stressing throughout). dean, in rory’s mind, is synonymous with a period in her life that she associates with stability - the certainty that she herself is a “good” person.

at this point in season 4, rory hasn’t come to terms with jess’ departure. jess, who lorelai et. al reiterated to her was not “good” and could not “really love [her].” it’s almost as if she’s trying to reassert the balance - to reclaim the stability she associates with her pre-jess relationship (which in reality was never really present, but that’s a whole different tangent).

the word “good” in this scene is so loaded, because we as viewers are not meant to be agreeing that dean /at this point in the show / is a “good” guy. the goodness rory is so desperately clinging onto is her own.

it feels so clear to me that rory in this scene was never meant to be portrayed as a selfish homewrecker, but rather someone on the cusp of a breakdown. a nineteen year old girl unsure, and uncertain, and desperate and afraid.

[jessmmariano]

Jess’s ‘get in there and make me my supper’ line towards Dean in the dance marathon episode is so underrated because that’s exactly the type of girl Dean wants and Jess could tell. He probably didn’t know about the Donna Reed thing, either, he could just tell.

[weepynymph]

ALSO

I've just noticed when lorelai and rory are fighting about rory sleeping with dean, the exact point at which rory storms out and says 'i hate you for ruining this for me!' is after lorelai says 'but you broke up with him [dean]. you picked someone else.'

Like out everything she says that's the thing that has rory running out of the room - the tiniest hint of jess' existence. his name isn't even mentioned.

I will die on the hill that rory sleeping with dean has EVERYTHING to do with what happened with jess the episode before and the fact that she still loves him but wishes she didn't and kind of wishes she'd never met him and by extension never broke up with dean and is trying to put things back the way that they were.

[jojoblessed365]

Amen!!!

jess is the only one of rory’s love interests who would STILL have chosen her over anyone else all those years later. dean strung her along by making her believe that he was going to leave his wife for her (which he didn’t!!) and logan probably did have a deeper attachment to her, but in the end he wanted the same thing as dean—to have rory on the side, making her believe that she’s special, but not special enough to choose over their wife/fiance. in the end jess was the only one who prioritized rory above his own self interests by not pursuing her again even though he still loved her

[roeyliteratiforever]

I find it so weird when people think that the reason you prefer Jess for Rory and as a personal preference for yourself is because you are attracted to unavailable men. 🤔 I hear this opinion a lot and it's just weird to me. I have been in the same relationship for the last 8 years and is very available. I love Jess the most because of how much he grows, and learns from his errors. I love their connection and how he pushes Rory to be the best version of herself. I love that he owns up to his mistakes and feels bad about his mistakes and instead of gaslighting Rory he changes his behavior and tries to do better. I love how Jess and Rory inspire each other and motivate each other. I love how despite having shitty circumstances in life he turns it around and makes it positive. I love how instead of minimizing Rory to be his mistress he waits until she is ready and is there for her as a friend without any strings, he is there for her no matter if they are together or not. His love for her is unconditional and while he wasn't perfect his love for her is so genuine and you can feel that. I am also a sucker for best friends to lovers and pining but that's another subject. It's just a weird take I've seen some people have, just because we like Jess best doesn't mean we want unavailable men there is so much more to it than that.

[silas-lehnsherr]

No scene will ever hit as hard as Dean asking Rory if it was a problem that he didn’t care Lindsey had a problem with them being friends and Jess showing up before she could answer. As if he was a giant cosmic answer. Like, yes Dean, it is a problem you are lying to your wife and sneaking around with your ex-girlfriend. And if you are confused as to why, here is the person said ex-girlfriend cheated on you with. The poetic irony is strong,

[emmafallsinlove]

the fact that dean built rory a car so she could drive to school and not take the bus is hilarious to me because she still took the bus when she had the car. the only time we saw someone drives that car is jess before the car accident lmao 💀

[nelllover]

Something about Rory and Jess's dynamic that I don't see people talking about enough is the fact that he is the only bf of her's that was her friend before anything else (now granted both had huge crushes on each other since the start but still!!)

And I think that's why they're the best!

Jess saw her as more than just some pretty girl he saw her as someone that he could spend time with and not get bored and Rory saw him as someone who would finally not just tune her out and nod politely when she went off on a tangent about her interests (especially books).

another aspect of that is showcased in how they act in later seasons (s6 and AYITL) while yes they are exes (who are still in love with each other but don't tell them) they're able to go right back to the same rhythm with easy conversations like nothing happened (now granted that's not totally healthy and they should definitely have a conversation about everything but what do you expect from the king and queen of denial)

There is a reason why by the end of the series the only ex Rory has a good relationship with is Jess (and no not just because they were totally implied endgame) it's because they need each other in their lives so much that they're ok with just having those 'totally 100% platonic moments' (altho there as never been a moment where they haven't been in love with each other)

And I can tell you one thing for sure Jess is the only one who cares about Rory enough to do that you'll never see either Dean or Logan be there for her without a hidden agenda.

[jojoblessed365]

Something that always gets me about Rory's boyfriends and their first I Love Yous:

Dean says it, Rory hasn't come to that point and Dean shuts off. How he handles Rory's response is the off-putting element that kind of dooms their relationship. And when Rory says it, it's because Lorelai talks to her about it.

When Jess says it, he doesn't expect her to say anything in return. Of course, the foolish he does is that he walks away after saying it, making it sort of a mic drop moment which kind of makes Rory even more confused. And when Rory says it, it's just hinted at during their breakup call, which means that she could've said it if Jess hadn't run away, thinking that the best thing to do was not say anything to Rory and leaving her by giving her space would be the best option. And no one tells her to say it, she exhales, knowing that it could've been deeper if they had better communication, if Jess didn't leave her that way.

When Logan says it, he says it out of desperation, he tries to use it as a reason to get Rory to take him back. And when Rory says it, it's after a talk with Emily regarding Logan's Birkin bag.

What are people's thoughts about this?

[jessmmariano]

Okay can we talk about how ugly the bracelet Dean made for Rory is? I can’t be the only one who thinks this. Like poor girl had to wear that leather strap for two and a half seasons and it never matched a single one of her outfits.

[reputayswift]

taylor, the anon reminds me your iconic gilmore girls edits as taylor albums… so, i gotta ask, who’s midnights?

Okay so I’m glad Midnights wasn’t out when I made that edit bc this is a VERY hard question, especially because I’ve already used up essentially all of the main characters…who are we left with: Kirk? Taylor? Miss Patty? Babette?? I saw this tag the other day and it pains me. It really does because I don’t want to acknowledge this character but he probably gives us the most to work with 😔 (no offense to the person who tagged it ofc you made some points!!! <3)

Lavender Haze: the only kind of girl HE sees IS a one-night or a wife!

Anti-Hero: he’s the problem. it’s him. I AM tired of his scheming! “Taylor, you’ll be fine” that’s him giving Taylor the weekly Doose’s profit report. him ghosting is unrealistic though, if there’s one thing that boy is going to do it’s fill an answering machine.

Midnight Rain: he wanted a bride, she was making her own name! and he does eventually get the picture-perfect, shiny family. sunshine though????…..🤨

Vigilante Shit: no more dressing like 50s housewives for him. “picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife,” I’d like to see it!!

Bejeweled: Lindsay anthem, maybe I’d give this album to her 🤔 “familiarity breeds contempt, don’t put me in the basement when I want the penthouse of your heart” is very Dean lashing out at Lindsay when he’s secretly seeing Rory, all while she’s trying to cook the perfect dinner for him

Mastermind: Dean stalking watching Rory while she reads her books, trying to win her back from Jess under the guise of just wanting to be her friend

The Great War: “cursed you as I sleep-talked” > him saying Rory’s name while he’s passed out after his bachelor party, another Lindsay anthem “maybe it was egos swinging, maybe it was her”

High Infidelity: can be Lindsay x Dean vs Rory x Dean or Rory x Dean vs Rory x Jess, “your picket fence is sharp as knives,” “I bent the truth too far tonight I was dancing around it” (literally dance marathon ep), “there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough,” “storm coming, good husband, bad omen, dragged my feet right down the aisle, at the house lonely, good money I’d pay if you’d just know me, seemed like the right thing at the time,” “do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?”

Glitch: he’s a dude that gives nothing

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve: I see this one get suggested a lot and I get the idea (Rory sleeping with Dean being a kind of turning point for her character) but I think an age-gap is kind of essential to that dynamic

[roeyliteratiforever]

I saw someone say "people only like Jess because he was a toxic bad boy" 🙄 He was literally the least toxic of her boyfriends in my opinion but what do I know. Was he a perfect boyfriend? No, but toxic is a far stretch. Just say you don't understand his character. Jess was a character that grew up with a bunch of trauma with parents who didn't want him and was used to people around him just discarding him so when he had two people who did care about him he didn't know what to do with it. He had no example of a healthy relationship at all and his neglectful mother constantly has abusive men in and out of their lives. Jess went through a lot but he overcame all of that and turned his shitty situation into a positive one. He encourages Rory to grow and be her best self and vice versa she does the same for him. He became less angry, he learned how to communicate better, he learned how to show up for those he loves and he continued to be a present figure in both of their lives, and was there for them in whatever ways they needed. He always had Rory's best interest at heart, and truly loved her more than anything.

Jess was not a "bad boy" he was literally just a dork that wanted to read books and watch corny movies with Rory. It's funny that he was supposed to be the "bad boy" but has the least amount of bad boy traits.

[weepynymph]

I was thinking about this literally the other day! I think Dean is a little bit enamoured with Lorelai as this like cool mom who thinks he's soooo great for her daughter and validates his point of view all the time, and I think for Lorelai she views Dean (not clearly) as the type of boyfriend she wishes she had at Rory's age.

Meanwhile Lorelai views Jess not just as the type of guy she DID date at Rory's age 'I've known guys like Jess' (even though she doesn't know him at all) but also as a reflection of all the worst parts of herself at that age, as an 'out of control, really angry kid' with no respect for the adults in his life (Much like she was at 16).

The irony is that she doesn't see either of them clearly AT ALL. There's some major projection going on from her through the whole Jess Dean Rory situation where she clearly feels like Rory will be repeating her mistakes if she dumps 'a great guy' like Dean, for 'angry' 'out of control' Jess.

i could write a fucking essay on lorelai’s weird ass relationship with dean. and another on her issues with jess. and a third on why the two affect each other.