#anti 2nu

[zoroisminty]

NO ONE SHOULD SHIP NOODLE WITH ANY OF THE OTHER GORILLAZ MEMBERS. NOT EVEN ACE. NONE OF THEM. SHE IS THEIR CHILD. IF YOU SHIP NOODLE WITH ANY OF THEM. DNI. I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOUR YUCKYNESS. ace and noodle are prolly sisters ngl. BUT STILL. IF YOU SHIP THEM THEN OK BUT DONT TALK TO ME ABOUT IT.

(i can agree with cyborg noodle and murdoc. CYBORG noodle.)

[brickbozo]

Thinking how Jamie Hewlett and (wife) Emma feel when fans talk about their mocap dancing of 2d and Noodle in Strobelite as 'father/brother + adoptive daughter bonding time'

Especially doing stuff like this

And this-

[blurrymango]

Went to TierMaker. Went to the only Gorillaz ship tierlist on there. Did a tierlist.

For the record- the only ship here I ever think about is 2Doc. Like- Disclaimer- 2Doc and CyNu and the only ones I'm actually interested in. And for CyNu it's more of a passive interest.

Now with that out of the way.

Also. For some reason. Noodle x Russel wasn't a thing? Weird. It would be S tier. Yeah NuRuss. RussNu. Whatever. That. It's S tier.

So-

Godtier- 2Doc. Obviously. What? You think I wouldn't put 2Doc at godtier? It's the best ship ever. It's dark and abusive and could easily be made even worse and could also be made cute too. (SECRET UNSEEN SHIP- MY SELF INSERT X NOODLE AND MY SELF INSERT X CYBORG NOODLE.)

S tier- Noodle x Cyborg Noodle: Good shit. I'm not normally into self-cest but it's two Noodles and nothing better ever than Noodle and Cyborg Noodle. Paula x Noodle: I can think of some dark ideas for this. Also. Uh. It's cute ok.

A tier- Russ x Del: They're literally best friends of all time and friends to lovers is cute. Noodle x Ace: Would be higher if I didn't consider this cheating. Because I like to think Ace has a loli GF back in Townsville. (It's Buttercup.)

B tier- Murdoc x Cy. He literally created her, he should be allowed to ffuck her.

C tier- Murdoc x Paula: This only works in the context of 2D getting cucked like the little bitchbaby he is. Cy x 2D: I don't remember why I put this here. I think they'd be cute as like. Codependent and not sexual style. Maybe a little sexual style.

F tier- Paula x 2D: Sorry I just don't think they should be together. Only acceptable if Murdoc is ffucking both of them like the disgusting chad he is. 2Nu: Would be fine if it weren't goddamn everywhere. It's like DirkJake for me. I'm neutral towards it until I see it and remember how ffucking annoying it is. NuDoc: The ONLY Noodle Murdoc should be ffucking is Cy. Though it is SLIGHTLY better than 2Nu. Only slightly.

Trash tier- RussDoc: Literally I cannot ffucking see it not even a bit the way they hate eachother is just. There is not a single possibility for enemies to lovers or enemies with benefits. I hate it. AceDoc: Again, literally cannot see it, but also this one has the added annoyance of the 2Nu effect in that it is everywhere and annoying. 2Russ: It has the 2Nu effect again, I hate it slightly less than RussDoc but it is still really annoying like ffuck off man they're pals. 2Dace: HA. No. Not a chance in hell. From the way I see it, people who ship this tend to be just anti-Murdoc in general. It's also the DaveKat/GamTav/Destiel of Gorillaz. Annoying and terrible in every single way possible and just not good in the slightest.

Oh also- other ships that weren't on here but prolly exist somewhere.

Del x Noodle: Big yes. B tier.

Del x 2D: Big no. F tier.

Del x Murdoc: Trash tier.

Russ x Ace: It actually does kinda vibe good TBH. IMO. A tier.

Russel x Paula: It would be funny though lmao.

Murdoc x Noodle x 2D: Could work. Could work. But I don't like it because :( Russel is alone.

[ghostly-punk]

-> I've never been more happy than seeing this image 🥰🥰

[ocryptid]

Noodle ships are from the heavens✨🥰💕💫send them back please💅🧚🏻❤️🌟

[mutantgeniuz]

the phrase “2nu fluff” makes me nauseous

[kestrelmarr]

I don’t know if this has been done before

But I was getting very annoyed at the knee-jerk anti-arguments, so I decided to do a little research. And I gotta say, I did not start this journey as a 2Nu shipper, but I sure as fuck ended as one. Frankly, the more I dug into the canon backstory of the band, the more ridiculous the anti-2Nu arguments seemed to become. The gist of them seems to boil down to this: 

1) 2Nu is pedophilia (AKA, “ew, he’s too old for her!”)

2) 2Nu is incest. (AKA, “he practically raised her/he’s like her older brother!”)

3) 2Nu will never be canon, “the creators have already said so, so knock it off!”

 To which I reply-

1a) Noodle is legally an adult from mid-Phase 3 on, period. If Jamie Hewlett wanted to, he could have kept her a little girl, you can do that with cartoon characters, you know? There’s no rule you have to physically age them. Stewie Griffin has been a one-year-old baby for 20 years. Conversely, the male members of the band do not appear to have aged much at all. Murdoc is supposed to be 54 years old, and he looks fucking great for his age, aside from being a pickle. However yes, I will agree that shipping Phase 1 or 2 2Nu is pedophilia, but shipping them now is definitely not.   

1b) A twelve year age difference is not the catastrophe you all seem to imagine it is. It’s more common than you think for people to date outside their own ages, especially when they’re in their 20s, 30s, and above. If it seems gross to you, honestly that just indicates to me that you’re just... really young.  

2a) 2D was an active drug addict with brain damage for most of Phase 1 and 2. He could not “raise” Noodle. For fuck’s sake, he looked catatonic half the time back then. If anyone raised Noodle, it was Russel. 

 2b) Chronologically, the band spends more time apart than they do together. I know, I checked. Please see the chronological break-down of pertinent events in the canon Gorillaz timeline I have provided below (because I put a lot of time into it), but the gist of it boils down to: from 1998 - 2020, Noodle and 2D spend less than 10 years together, the longest stretch of continuous time being during phase 1 (5 years.) Coincidentally, this is also the time when 2D is *the most fucked up* from drugs and being brain damaged by Murdoc. After the ‘El Manana’ incident, they are separated for 9 years (from 2006 -2015), which means that 2D sees Noodle last when she is 16 and then not again until she’s 25. 

And finally, 

3) It’s shipping. It doesn’t matter that it’s never going to be canon- THAT IS WHAT SHIPPING IS FOR. So that we can create the content that we know we’ll never get from the source. I’m willing to bet that 90% of ships will never and have never been canon. And no, it doesn’t “upset them,” because at the end of the day, they’re not freakin’ real. Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett are real, however, and they chose to age Noodle into an adult, and then put 2D and her into various promo pictures together being adorable, and ships have been founded on WAAYYY WAY less, let me tell you. 

Anyways, here’s the timeline. I’d say feel free to use it to beat 2Nu antis down with canon facts, but we all know they probably won’t listen, anyways. 

Phase 1 (1998-2003) Noodle starting age (born 10/31/90, age 8) 2D starting age (born 05/23/78, age 20)

1997: Murdoc gives Stu Pot 2 dents in his head, puts him in a coma/wakes him up/convinces him to join his band.

1998: Kong Studios. Russel joins the boys/Paula Cracker gets kicked out/Noodle arrives via FedEx crate.

2000:EP Tomorrow Comes Today is released.

2001: Debut album Gorillaz is released. Toured Europe and Asia.

2002: Toured North America. Took a break for six months in LA at the end of tour to engage in talks for a film project.

2003:"Everyone was too concentrated on doing drugs and hanging out with celebrities." Murdoc tries to kill 2D. Gorillaz break up. 

First hiatus: duration 1.5 years. 

Time together during phase 1: 5 years. Ending ages: 13 and 25

Phase 2 (2003-2006)

2003: 2D works at his dad's fun fair in Eastbourne/ Russel stays in LA/Murdoc goes to Tijuana/Noodle goes to Japan.

2004: Noodle gets her memory back, goes back to Kong Studios, starts recording Demon Dayz. Band reunites in late 2004.

2005: Demon Dayz is released.

2006: Noodle goes missing after the windmill island in the El Manana video is shot down. When they can't find her in the wreckage, Gorillaz go their separate ways  

Second hiatus : duration 2 years. 

Time together during phase 2: 1.75 years. Ending ages: 16 and 28.

Phase 3 (2006-2012)

2006-2008: Murdoc went on a bender around the world and creates Cyborg Noodle/2D on retreat in Beirut/Russel's whereabouts unknown.

2008: Murdoc burns down Kong Studios and cashes in on insurance money, buys Plastic Beach, kidnaps 2D to force him to write album/Russel starts swimming to Plastic Beach.

2010: Welcome to Plastic Beach is released.

2010-2011: Noodle is found on a ship and rescued from pirates by Russel (now giant from consuming toxic waste and trash). They continue to Plastic Beach, defeat the Black Cloud pirates and destroy malfunctioning Cyborg Noodle.

2011: Band is separated after the battle of Plastic Beach due to several outside factors. 

(2012: Video for Do Ya Thing shows the band living together at Wobble Street, but this was deemed non-canon because it contradicted events as told in Rise of the Ogre and thus is not included in this timeline)

Time together during Phase 3- NA. Ending ages: 21 and 33.

Phase 4 (2012-2018)

2012-2015 Murdoc: escapes Plastic Beach but is caught by EMI and thrown in Dungeon Abbey until he agrees to make a new album, moves to West London.

2012-2015 2D: eaten by a whale and stranded on Guadalupe Island, spends time there on vacation before reuniting with Murdoc in West London.

2012-2015 Russel: separated from Noodle, captured by NK, eventually shrinks back to normal due to malnutrition and rejoins Murdoc and 2D in West London

2012-2015 Noodle: washes up in Japan, spends time working as a pearl diver, accidentally releases a demon, spends years tracking demon and kills it in criminal underground Tokyo. Rejoins the band in West London.

2016: Band is all in one place together for the first time since 2006, spends the year recording.

2017: Humanz is released, world tour, Demon Dayz Festival is held in Margate, England.

2018: Murdoc is arrested.

Time together during Phase 4: 2 years. Ending ages: 28 and 40.

Phase 5 (2018-2019)

2018: Ace joins the band as Murdoc's replacement. The Now Now is released, and the band goes on tour again.

early 2019: Noodle embarks on a journey to Patagonia to see if 2D’s soul has been stolen by El Mierda.

late 2019: Murdoc gets out of prison and meets Noodle in Patagonia after she discovers the truth about El Mierda and Murdoc’s prison sentence, promises to be a better man and rejoins the band for the last leg of the tour.  

Time together: less than one year.

Phase 6 (2019- current)

September of 2019 the band was on hiatus the whole month in separate locations, in preparation for the release of the  Song Machine.

Ending/Current ages: 29 and 41.

Total amount of time spent together between 1998 and 2020: Less than ten years.

backstory source #1

backstory video source for phases 1-4

backstory video source for phases 4+5 

[brickbozo]

You can see Jamie drawing parallels from the poem's official illustration (where Noodle's placement is the Owl, and 2D's is the Cat) as well

What's funny is the portions of the unfinished sequel, "The Children of the Owl and the Pussy-cat" where The Cat dies by falling from a tree and The Owl mourns by playing their music again.

also I'm not one for long winded expositions but Jamie may or may not also be referencing the poem again in the latter phases like in momentary bliss and with Noodle's outfits too

[magic-vinny]

Why the fuck do people in the comments of the rockit video be like omg 2d carrying noodle on his back they love each other so much ultimate otp 😍😍 as if noodle isnt like 12-13 and 2d is in his mid twenties

[brickbozo]

Anyways this comment (and most of the q n a) was long deleted even before phase 5 ended because the writers themselves realised what a shitty job they were doing lol. And even then Noodle wasn't debunking the ship per se (note how she doesn't say yes or no) She just doesn't take kindly to strangers speaking so casually of her intimate life. There's also the fact she later elaborates on that statement in another interview-

-laying it out that SPREADING RUMORS about a woman (disregarding the fact she's fictional) saying she sleeps with her co-workers and basically insinuating her only worth in the band to be her body IS a form of sexual harassment, hence the hashtag. This i think was a much bigger issue to address than what a bunch of teens thought about an adult fictional ship.

She also never mentioned anything about relationships and secondly, the quote 'ALL the boys' included Ace as well at the time, so the inc*st and gr**ming allegations are void. She was basically debunking the trolls while avoiding the actual answers themselves.

It kinda reminds me of this 2D formspring answer from years ago.

And we can't forget this little marketing slip

and the recent one from Warp:

Literally none of these answers portray the ship as problematic in any aspect and are vague as hell ontop of that. Now that I think of it, Gorillaz really avoid answering stuff like this when it comes to those two 🤔 and we never had Jamie address something so many fans wanted to hear, even though all of the other in-band ships have been debunked by the artist himself. It really leaves a lot of room for interpretation no?

[optimusprimethighs]

Been seeing way too much content on this

I apologize if this has already been done

[itsnoodlesband]

Hi kids! This is every 2Nu shipper in the tag as far back as 2016.

Not everyone is active and some people are just heavy supporter which I find sus. Here we go!

skiplo-wave

relv07

misspomsey

xxivystarxx

galacticpotatoes

goldengirlsytp

thatpsychoraccoon (DRAWS UNDERAGE 2NU!!!! LOTS!!!)

misscellophane

stu-doodles

rogue-boi

winnebagos-and-windmills

lethal-cuddles

passionisfake

breeeliss

fairycham

chinaraiart

guitxrist

always-fighting-darkness

ampbatross

coweydoesdrawing

askraelgorillaz

bombermorris

cyberpunkbabyy

artofangeliquefresnedi

raindelarge

ancpikachu

syedli99

read-a-fucking-book

1l1k3stuff

tyiauniaharris

that-one-weirdo1

lotheunicornkkmkingdom

mitsukoxaki

fatedheroine

veryshaokahngamer

shannonssoundcheck

howdoesshemanage

slaughteringcat

bandoms22

mrxumxum

takitaoko

paramousxlights

yoonbum-in-drag

wavezmind

fearthewhales

pandeomon

ashleythespeedwolf

blarglemuffin (posts underage 2Nu)

itsaboutusaboutyou

beelzebub-36

reposhillo

blue-indigo-girl

plucked-sunlight

slithers-away

exuberantoddity

vibrantvigilante

spring-a-ling

trelobita

irisconfusa

postmanlinksbootyshorts

quirkilyjumbled

fluorescent-air-fresheners

metaren

uiiyru

naiyonee

fuckyeah2dnoodle

olgasartblog

crocodoki

pansykenny (popular cosplayer who tags all their cosplays with a Noodle as 2nu)

jinx-wuz-here

mimomia

emdibuja

colormyworldlovely

cdthemoleking

ariaveil

to-my-ovaries

myrteelo

josubae

eona-art

luna-de-malvavisco

noodle-luv

ashlynquinzel

grrhatlet

pears-13579

whatwouldwaltdo

aprilestrange

thedairyofablackkitten

doctorwhodoctorstu

mashayeck

animehastakenover

alythealligatorart

iaintcallinyafordinner

thenamessadie

spaghetti-child

mimidorikavocaloidanimedotafan

deathmetal677-blog

mei-the-raccoon

aly-the-alligator

jenniferunu

turquoisetroubles (defender)

syubminzues

oklahomatonewyork-blog

callmesharkster

badkittyhentai (its what it says on the tin alright)

myo108

conboimckinky

caracalcakes

theorytrain (no longer ships)

paleotoons

nihilistickomori

thatdrunkgamergirl

ambertsou

sliceoflove

toastedcherrysucksatart

noodlepots

rebellion-princess26

chinarai

osirismongua

2nu-blog

2nu-zen

superfast-2nu-shipper

2nu

xpandaface

fuck-yeah-nerd-stuff

mahreemari

hellyea2nu

benanasz

acerbus-et-ingens

itsnotuptoyuu

read-watch-sleep

gucci-mom

remotefanficsd3ami3l

two-dent

uniqueglittervoid

zombievomitsymbolic

aniitaruiz

deadlyfangedartist

skeetonjunkie

galaxz-flower

gorillaznooles

theprettydismal

thequeerdeer

spikeinmyveins

ushimooshi

Anyway, that’s done. Feel like dyin.

[babieg0th]

why ship nudoc/2nu when you can:

not do that

[fughost]

hey just a reminder if you ship 2nu 2doc nudoc or nuruss please leave my blog

[rise-of-the-anti]

2//nu in the main tag 2//nu in the main tag 2//nu in the main t-

[nerdexpress]

2nu shippers:

Every normal human being: