#another way in which i am like my father bc he told us earlier today

[july-19th-club]

it might be maudlin of me but superstore was like really a pretty good show, and it made me weepy at the end when they closed out on song for zula and the ensemble stayed friends and stuff and everything

[laughing-with-god]

Unsaid Vow I

(This is the first 1.7k of the 10k chapter that is available right now on my Patreon. Please join for early access plus beta content!)

Synopsis: You always knew when you weren't wanted. And the way things are going in your marriage with Jungkook, a divorce is looking more and more likely. While he's getting closer to a woman at work that you're certain he's having an affair with, you're planning your escape with your four-year-old son. However, five years of marriage did not expose you to a certain side of your husband. A side of Jungkook that only gets triggered when you try to leave and break apart your perfect 'family'.

Warnings: Yandere behavior, graphic language, violence/murder, women bashing on other women, heavily implied infidelity, bad parenting, absent father, broken family vibes, very slow buildup bc Jungkook doesn't really snap until you leave him so just give him a min lol, inexperienced author writing for a five-year-old.

Also looking for new fic art for this if anyone's interested!!

Read first: Prologue

“I’m a grown man.”

These were the words that greeted you and effectively pulled you out of your weary slumber.  

You drowsily rubbed your eyes and rolled over, yawning as you took in the sight of your son staring at you bemusedly from beside your bed.  

If you weren’t used to this behavior from Hugo already, you perhaps would've screamed at the sudden creepy sight of a child with a solemn expression saying odd things to you before the sun has even risen.  Yet, you have grown accustomed to the old man your toddler was.  

“Good morning to you too, bud.”  You groaned tiredly, already searching your thick bedding for your phone in order to check the time.  Your alarm hadn’t even gone off yet, which told you it was earlier than you had originally planned to wake up.  But what was the point of having plans when you had a child?  They had a talent for ruining them.  

“I’m five today.”  Hugo ignored your greeting, getting right into the point with furrowed brows as he held up all five fingers, each one representing a year of his life.  

“Yup, I know dumpling.”  You chuckled, finally pulling out your phone and opening it to see  ‘6:03 am” staring back at you.  “Believe it or not, the day you were born was quite memorable for me too.”  

You cringed as you thought of the 20 hour labor that preceded Hugo’s birth.   How could you ever forget that hellish day?  

“Mom, it’s my birthday.”  Hugo told you, tone serious as a heart attack.  

“Yes, happy birthday love.”  You smiled at your son, trying not to let him see the exhaustion you secretly felt.  “I suppose there’s no way I can talk you into going back to bed for another hour or so?”  

“No. You always say ‘the day starts when I first open my eyes in the morning”.  Your son parroted the saying back to you with a proud grin.  

Hugo once went through a phase where he wouldn’t want to leave the bed after waking up, simply wanting to stay in pj’s all day long and watch cartoons amongst his stuffies. 

It took a while to get your little homebody to actually stop this habit and begin getting up to ready himself for the day whenever he woke up.  You used to tell him that the day starts whenever he opens his eyes in the morning, however on days like these where he wakes up super early, he now does not see the point in lying in.  

“Right, that is a good point.”  You softly relented, mentally scolding yourself for yet another parenting tactic backfired.  “How does some breakfast sound?”

“Mom, I have a prop-pre-preposaa-”  

“Proposal?”  You offered, swinging your legs off the side of your bed.  

“Yeah, that.”  Hugo nodded to himself, most likely taking note of the proper pronunciation of the word so he can use it again in conversation.  “I think it’s time we talk about coffee.”

“Coffee?”  

“You and daddy are always saying that coffee is for grownups.  Today I’m five, which means I’m older, which means I should be able to have coffee.”  Hugo reasoned this to you while twiddling his thumbs, a nervous habit he does when he wants you to say yes to something he knows is unrealistic.  

“Mmm...”  You hummed, pretending to think hard about the offer.  “What if I gave you a very light coffee?  A beginner version to get you ready for the real thing when you’re older?”  

Hugo looked conflicted, but after reading your face and correctly assuming that’s the best he was going to get, he nodded solemnly in reluctant agreement.  

With one final huff you shoved yourself off the king sized bed, standing to your full height and throwing your arms up in a stretch.  “Why don’t you wait in the living room for me bud?  I’ll be right out.”  

The freshly turned five year old happily nodded up at you before exiting your bedroom, leaving you alone once again.  

You turned your attention back to the bed in which you just rose out of.  More particularly, you stared at the other side of the bed, the side in which your husband was supposed to sleep on. 

It was a direct opposite of your messy side, crisp and neatly made; the fluffy pillows, pressed sheets and silk duvet being perfectly in place.  Yet, this wasn’t an ode to Jungkook’s neatness and attention to detail.  

No.  

Jungkook hasn’t been sleeping in the same bed as you for a while now.  

Your husband always preferred to rise early, given he was a man who liked to follow a strict morning regime which could easily be thrown off if he slept in even a minute later.  Up at 5:30. teeth brushed and face shaved by 5:40.  Breakfast, coffee and newspaper consumed by 6:00.  

Then right before taking his leave, Jungkook would pack himself a bag of work clothes and make a quick protein shake, given he would then head to the gym where he would get his morning workout and shower from.  Then from the gym, he would head straight to work.  

A few months ago, he suggested sleeping in the guest room.

You had asked why, bewildered at the request.  

Sure, you two didn’t really cuddle anymore. Sex was also rare. But you figured that the least you could do as husband and wife was sleep in the same bed amicably. Had you started kicking him in your sleep or something?

“I’d notice you begin to kinda stir when I first get up and go about my routine.  I don’t want to wake you up or be a bother.”  He had said.  

That didn’t really make sense to you.  

You have always been a deep sleeper. And even if you did wake up for a second, you’d clearly see your husband getting ready for the day, roll over and go back to sleep.  

It was such a lame excuse, you just shrugged and bitterly told him that he hogged the blankets anyway.  

It wasn’t true, but Jungkook didn’t comment.  

You trudged over to the ensuite bathroom and quickly did your morning routine.  

When you came out of your room and into the living space, you saw Hugo glued to the giant flat screen in a trance-like state as he watched his usual morning cartoons.  The sight tugged a small smile out of you, although the mother in you didn’t like how close he was.

“Hugo, back up from the screen! Bluey isn’t going anywhere. Your eyes will go bad.”  Your son wordlessly obliged and scooted back, not breaking eye contact with his favorite family of puppies.  “What would you like for breakfast ‘Mr. grown man’?”  

“Blueberry pancakes…and don’t forget my coffee!”  

“You got it, birthday boy.” 

The kitchen, dining and living room were open concept, so you multi-tasked watching Hugo while whipping up his breakfast.  You never were much of a cook and you still aren’t even after motherhood, but you did commit to learning your son’s favorite dishes.

The process was over quickly, you having made this recipe countless times and knowing it like the back of your hand.  

You set a plate on the island table, calling Hugo over while you secretly mixed some instant hot chocolate in a mug.  

The five year old jumped up and grinned at the meal, saying a quick “thank you” before digging in with all the grace a five year old could possibly have.  

“And of course, your coffee.”  You tried not to smile as you handed him the cup.

“Thanks mama.”  

The mini-Jungkook took a gulp, then stared seriously at the contents of the mug, swishing it around in some faux detective work.  

“Something wrong, dumpling?”

“It tastes…fa-fam-”

“Familiar?”  

“Yes. Is coffee always this sweet?”  

You laughed, now moving to the real coffee maker to make your own cup.  “No, this is the kid version.  It might taste like chocolate because chocolate has caffeine in it too.”  

Your little old man huffed to himself but nodded in agreement, simply not knowing enough to dispute your logic.  

Your old coffeemaker grumbled awake, croaking and hissing as you pressed the worn-out buttons for your usual morning brew.  Jungkook always made fun of you for the ancient machine, but even after he had bought a much more expensive and up-to-date one, you stubbornly remained loyal to yours.  

“So buddy, what do you want to do today?  We can go get new books, hit up the toy store, maybe even visit the aquarium?”  

“I wanna help set up for my party, mommy.” 

Well, “party” wasn’t quite the right word for it.  

Hugo had no friends.  It was tough for a kid like him to make any.  At this age and as a boy, most of his peers would meet and form relationships in little league or rough housing at the local park. 

Your son was different.  He preferred reading to sports, hated the outdoors and was generally a shy kid who tended to tear up when anyone other than his family tried speaking to him.  

So this year, his birthday party was an intimate circle of family and family friends.  You hoped that by next year you could host an actual kid birthday party, as Hugo would be in school and have classmates by then. 

“That’s very sweet of you, but there’s time to do both.”  The boy looked at you skeptically.  “We can go to the bookstore across the street after breakfast and I’ll let you pick out some new bedtime stories.  Then we can go to the aquarium and have lunch there. And on our way home I’ll stop by the store to get some stuff for the party, and you can get a toy.  Sounds good?”  

Hugo frowned, then peeled back his pajama sleeve to look at his submarine-themed watch.  The act seemed a little pretentious to you, given he didn’t yet know how to read clocks.  

“Fine mommy, but we should be quick.  Also you need to ask our guests if they have any food aler-alergeez-”

“Allergies?  Yes bud, I’ll be sure to send them a text.”  You rolled your eyes.

With that, Hugo quietly finished his breakfast as you sipped your coffee.  

When you two were done, you both got dressed and ready for the day’s activities. 

Before leaving the apartment, you were sure to send a text to your husband.  

‘Be home by 6 please.  Hugo’s birthday party starts at 6:30 and he needs you there.’

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

[beifongsss]

princess yue [sokka]

Pairing: Sokka x reader (one-sided)

Requested?: no and i’m so so sorry but i really needed to just write this bc this idea had been nagging me for the longest time and im really really sorry but the reader is the Yue’s older sister it just works with the idea im sorry they’re related to a character. also i’m sorry that the reader is female. Also, do they ever say what happened to Yue’s mom? I don’t think so, so in this fic she’s dead.

Summary: You’re the crown princess of the Northern Water Tribe. Yue, your sister has just turned 16 and is already betrothed and although you are slightly older, you are not. That changes when the avatar and his friends arrive, but not in the way you think.

In this story, Yue is her normal sixteen, Sokka is fifteen going on sixteen, and the reader is sixteen going on seventeen. So you’re a year older than Sokka. also this is short and not happy but i really needed to write this.

i’m sorry :(((

.masterlist.

~

You had struggled with your position as crown princess for as long as you could remember.

You were Chief Arnook’s oldest daughter, just one month shy of your 17th birthday when the Avatar and friends arrived. You had greeted the group upon arrival, welcoming them to your home.

As the future Chief, you had taken it upon yourself to give the Avatar and his companions a tour around the city and you had been immediately taken with the Southern Water Tribe boy. He had made many sarcastic and witty comments throughout the tour, causing his sister to continuously smack the back of his head. You had found them endearing, even teasing him back sometimes and causing his face to break out into a blush.

To say that he had been thoroughly surprised when you were introduced as the crown princess during Yue’s birthday dinner was an understatement, panic clear on his face as he remembered his earlier behavior.

He had later apologized for his language, only to be surprised when you laughed it off, finding his honesty and humor refreshing. As crown princess, and as a woman, you found it hard to interact comfortably with the members of your community. You were constantly battling with the Council, always trying to prove that you were worthy of the throne even if you were a woman.

The moment you knew that you were fond of the Southern Water Tribe boy was when he quite literally crashed into you one night as you took a walk around the city.

“(Y-Y/N)!” Sokka had yelped, cheeks blushing and eyes wide as he realized he had addressed you in a less than formal way. “I mean, Your Highness.”

You stared at him as he bowed. “Good evening Sokka. Please, bowing isn’t necessary and (Y/N) is fine.”

Sokka smiled as he stood up straight, an embarrassed blush spreading across his face. “What are you doing out here?”

���I find that taking long walks around the city helps to clear my head,” you admitted, looking away from the boy. “Would you like to join me?”

Sokka blushed brightly before speaking. “I’m actually on my way to meet with y-your sister.”

“Oh?” you replied, your eyes widening at his words. You felt your heart drop slightly and you found yourself silently chastising yourself for your feelings. You forced a smile onto your face before continuing on your way. “You should hurry then. Make sure to stay out of sight and have a good night Sokka.”

“Good night (Y/N)!” the handsome boy replied, already making his way to the bridge where Yue was waiting for him.

Your heart felt heavy as you walked back to the palace, both from knowing that Sokka was interested in your sister and because you knew that even if Yue liked him, she was now betrothed.

~

Your eyes burned slightly as you sat as your desk, shuffling through various Water Tribe scrolls. The council had been giving you multiple tasks to prove your worth as the next Chief and this week they had you learning about the way Water Tribe currency had changed over the centuries.

You leaned back in your seat, rubbing at your eyes before your door slammed open. You jolted up, relaxing when you noticed it was only Yue.

“Yue, what are you doing here?” you asked, standing up and walking over to greet her. You grew concerned immediately when you noticed her sobbing. “What happened?”

Yue threw herself into your arms and you immediately embraced her, guiding her over to your bed and sitting down.

“I-It’s nothing,” Yue hiccuped, trying to calm herself down. “It’s s-stupid.”

“It can’t be stupid if it’s making you upset,” you chided softly, getting up and closing your door. “Now c’mon. What is it?”

Yue didn’t speak, instead reaching under her coat and pulling out her betrothal necklace. You nodded in understanding before sitting back down. “I take it Sokka found out?”

“How do you know about Sokka?” Yue gasped, looking up at you.

“He told me!” you cried, raising your hands in defense. “I bumped into him on my walk and I asked him to join me but he declined and said you were waiting for him.”

Yue looked at you for a few seconds before crying out. “You like him!”

“No I don’t,” you replied, feeling a blush creep on to your cheeks. “You like him.”

“Fine, I do,” Yue stated, crossing her arms as a smile spread across her face. “But so do you.”

“It’s not a big deal,” you said, trying to tell your sister that you didn’t plan on making a move on Sokka.

“Yes it is! You never like anyone!”

You winced lightly at her words, knowing she was right. “It doesn’t matter Yue. We are not talking about me. We are focusing on you.”

Yue’s face fell as she remembered why she had come to you in the first place. “You’re right. He found out I’m betrothed and I really like him but I can’t be with him.”

“That’s unfair,” you said softly, your heart breaking as you looked at your sister. “He really likes you, you know?”

“He does?” Yue asked, looking up at you. “Aren’t you upset? You like him as well.”

“I’m not,” you replied, wrapping your sister up in a hug. “I care about you so much more than I’d ever are about some boy. And yes, he really does like you.”

Silence engulfed the two of you as Yue quietly let our her tears and you thought about how to help her. You closed your eyes as you came to a possible solution, tightening your grip on Yue.

“It will all work out. I know it.”

~

The next day, you found yourself in the Council’s chambers, dressed in your formal Water Tribe clothes. Your father, Chief Arnook, stared at you uncertainly as he thought about what you had told him the night before. To his right sat Hahn, Yue’s betrothed.

“Why have you called us here?” Anheir, the Council’s leader, asked.

“I have come with a proposition,” you replied, walking up the Council and bowing deeply. “One that I think will please everyone.”

Anheir looked at his fellow members before glancing at your father, who simply nodded once. “You may continue.”

You didn’t get a chance to speak as voices filled the hall.

“...and here is the Council’s hall,” Yue spoke. “This is where they give their judgement whenever anyone needs to settle something.”

The hall went silent once again as Yue turned away from the group she was with and faced you. You nodded at her before glancing at her companions, bowing when you noticed Aang, Katara, and Sokka.

“I’m sorry father,” Yue said, bowing as she faced the Council. “I wasn’t aware there were any proceedings going on today.”

“It’s quite alright my dear,” Arnook replied swiftly. “I’m afraid this was something very last minute.”

“What’s going on?” Aang asked, eyes wide as he looked around the grand room.

“We are settling an important matter concerning the crown princess,” Anheir said before motioning to the empty seats beside Hahn. “Perhaps the Avatar would like to sit and observe how our Tribe’s Council operates? Your companions are more than welcome to stay.”

You closed your eyes and inhaled sharply as they agreed. You shook your head slightly as Yue sat down, shooting you a confused glance. You hadn’t wanted her here during your proposition.

“Now Princess (Y/N),” Anheir addressed you once more. “You may proceed.”

You nodded once, glancing at your sister before speaking. “As you know, I am next in line for the throne, and in a little more than a year I will be ascending and taking my father’s place.”

The council exchanged disapproving looks, which didn’t go unnoticed by the Gaang.

“What’s their problem?” Sokka grumbled almost imperceptibly as he leaned closer to Yue. The princess didn’t flinch but acknowledged his words with a whisper of her own.

“Our tribe is very traditional and they do not believe that a woman, much less one who isn’t betrothed or married, should lead us,” Yue replied, her eyes shifting towards Sokka. “They don’t want her to be in charge.”

“That’s dumb,” Sokka replied, shooting a glare at the Council. Yue smiled softly at his response.

“I am also aware that you disapprove of me leading the Tribe. Please don’t deny it, I’ve heard what you’ve said to my father,” you continued, your lips twitching when you heard Aang and Sokka try to choke back their snickers. “That is why I have come to you today to offer you a solution to ease your worries.”

You took a deep breath before continuing, “I believe that the Council will feel much more at ease if I have a husband ruling at my side; someone to help me when making important decisions that pertains to the good of our Tribe. I do not think I will be able to find a husband within a year, especially not with my duties as crown princess. This is why I am here today to ask you to let me take my sister Yue’s place in her betrothal.”

The room erupted into gasps at your words. The Council looked bewildered, exchanging surprised looks with one another. Katara was also surprised at your words, letting out a gasp. Aang and Sokka’s jaws dropped and Yue stood up, making her way over to Arnook.

“Father! You can’t possibly allow her to do this. It’s my betrothal,” Yue cried out. All her life she had looked up to you for being independent, claiming that you didn’t need a man by your side and refusing every betrothal that had been proposed by the Council. You had always told her that you would be the first single, female Tribal Chief. You were everything she had ever wished she was.

“Sit down Yue,” Arnook said, his face remaining impassive. “This is the Council’s decision.”

Frowning, Yue walked back over to Sokka, but didn’t sit.

“What happened to being an independent, powerful leader?” Anheir finally asked, a mocking edge to his voice. Your jaw clenched at his words and you tried to control your temper. Meeting Anheir’s gaze, you threw yourself to your knees.

“Forgive me Council,” you stated, keeping your head bent down as you forced the words out. You were doing this so Yue could be happy. “I was wrong. There could never be a powerful female leader and I was foolish to think I could change that.”

“(Y/N), you can’t possible mean that!” Yue cried out, beginning to step forwards before she was held back by Sokka, who gave her a subtle shake of his head.

“Indeed you were,” Anheir said, agreeing with your statement. “We agree with you. You don’t have what it takes to rule alone. We approve your request. From here on out, Princess Yue’s betrothal to Hahn is no more that is, if the men agree as well.”

You shifted your gaze to your father who still remained emotionless. He met your gaze and you nodded your head, sealing your fate.

“I have no objection,” Arnook said. “I wanted her betrothed to Hahn when she first turned sixteen. I am proud to see she has finally come to her senses,”

“Father, don’t do this,” Yue begged once more. She was promptly ignored.

“What about you Hahn?” Anheir questioned, turning to face the handsome young soldier.

Hahn walked over to you and bowed deeply before straightening, a proud smirk on his face. “It would be my honor to marry the beautiful princess.”

He picked up your hand and pressed a kiss to it. “I will get started on your necklace right away.”

“What about me?” Yue cried out. “Don’t I get a say in this?”

“Be quiet Yue,” you cut in sharply, your face set in a harsh glare. “Your opinion doesn’t matter.”

Yue’s face fell immediately at your words, tears springing up in her eyes. She turned away from you, running from the hall as the Gaang went after her.

~ “I don’t understand.” Yue spoke sadly as Katara gave her a hug. “Why would she do that? She never wanted to be betrothed and if she did she always said that she wanted it to be on her terms.”

“Maybe she did this for you,” Katara said softly, trying to calm the girl down.

“I did.”

Everyone turned to face the door, where they found you leaning against it. You were still dressed formally, having followed Yue immediately after the Council had dismissed you. You walked closer, sitting on Yue’s other side and wrapping an arm around her when Katara stood up.

“What?” Yue asked, looking up at you through her tears. “Why?”

“It was the best logical course of action,” you commented with a shrug. “At least this way the Council is satisfied, I am no longer at risk of losing the throne, and Hahn gets to live out his weird power hungry fantasies.”

Yue chuckled at your words. “But now you’re engaged. To Hahn! You hate him!”

“I don’t hate him!” you exclaimed, earning a challenging look from your sister. “Okay he’s not my favorite person but at least he’s nice to look at. That’ll make being married to him somewhat easier. Besides, you would’ve been miserable with him.”

“But you had a chance at happiness,” she countered. “You could’ve had a chance with Sokka!”

The boy in question choked on his spit at Yue’s words, looking at you with disbelieving eyes. Katara’s jaw dropped, not believing that his brother had somehow managed to woo not one, but two princesses. You blushed as you swatted Yue, silently berating her for exposing your feelings.

“No, he likes you. Even if I had a chance with him I would never forgive myself for being with him when I knew you liked him,” you spoke softly, your gaze not leaving Yue. “That’s why I had to do this. Without Hahn, you’re free to be with whoever you want. I already cleared this up with dad. Your happiness means the world to me Yue, and as long as you’re happy, I will be the happiest woman in the world.”

Yue looked up at you with glittering eyes before engulfing you in a hug. “Thank you. I just wish you had told me before you did it.”

“You would’ve told me not to,” you laughed, hugging her close. “But this is the happiest I’ve seen you since mom died.”

The two of you hugged tightly, Yue finally understanding why you had gone ahead and butted in to her engagement. The silence didnt last long however, as Sokka spoke.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” he began, a small smile spreading across his face. “But both of you like me?”

Katara rolled her eyes and smacked the back of his, causing everyone to laugh. “Shut up Sokka.”

“Ow!”

~

once again i apologize a million times for making the reader yue’s sister but this idea had been bugging me for so long and i really had to write this out.

~

taglist!

@mywigglybaby​, @musicalkeys

[mjvnivsbrvtvs]

hi! so we have established at this point that you have A Lot Of thoughts about antony and brutus. but how does caesar (julius, not the little bitch octavian) play into that? bc like. my knowledge and impression of them is very limited and mainly constructed from watching hbo rome and idk. i think it'd be fun to throw caesar in the mix. love all the art and writing on your blog btw! have a nice day.

Hey, okay! So this used to be over 30 pages long (Machiavelli and Caligula got involved and that's when things got out of hand), but through the power of friendship and two late night writing dates fueled by coffee, I’ve cut it way down to under 10. Many thanks to the people who listened to me ramble about it at length, and also to a dear friend for helping me cut this down to under ten pages!

Also, thank you! I'm glad you enjoy the stuff I make! It makes me very happy to hear that!

And quickly, a Disclaimer: I’m not an academic, I’m not a classicist, I’m not a historian, and I spend a lot of time very stressed out that I’ve tricked people into thinking I’m someone who has any kind of merit in this area. It's probably best to treat this as an abstract character analysis!

On the other hand, I love talking about dead men, so, with enthusiasm, here we go!

For this, I’m going to cut Shakespeare and HBO Rome out of the framework and focus more on a historical spin.

Caesar is a combination of a manipulator and a catalyst. A Bad Omen. The remaining wound that’s poisoning Rome.

Cassius gets a lot of the blame for Brutus’ turn to assassination, but it overlooks that Brutus was already inclined towards political ambition, as were most men involved in the political landscape of the time.

Furthermore, although Sulla had actually raised the number of praetorships available from six to eight, there were still only two consulships available. There was always the chance that death or disgrace might remove some of the competition and hence ease the bottleneck. But, otherwise, it was at the top of the ladder that the competition was particularly fierce: whereas in previous years one in three praetors would have gone on to become consul, from the 80s BC onwards the chances were one in four. For the senators who had made it this far, it mattered that they should try to achieve their consulship in the earliest year allowed to them by law. To fail in this goal once was humiliating; to fail at the polls twice would be deemed a signal disgrace for a man like Brutus.

Kathryn Tempest, Brutus the Noble Conspirator

The way Caesar offered Brutus political power the way that he did, and Brutus accepting it, locked them into the assassination outcome.

Here is a man who’s built his entire image around honor and liberty and virtu, around being a staunch defender of morals and the republic

In these heated circumstances, Brutus composed a bitter tract On the Dictatorship of Pompey (De Dictatura Pompei), in which he staunchly opposed the idea of giving Pompey such a position of power. ‘It is better to rule no one than to be another man’s slave’, runs one of the only snippets of this composition to survive today: ‘for one can live honourably without power’, Brutus explained, ‘but to live as a slave is impossible’. In other words, Brutus believed it would be better for the Senate to have no imperial power at all than to have imperium and be subject to Pompey’s whim.

Kathryn Tempest, Brutus the Noble Conspirator

and you give him political advancement, but without the honor needed for this advancement to mean anything?

At the same time, however, Brutus had gained his position via extremely un-republican means: appointment by a dictator rather than election by the people. As the name of the famous career path, the cursus honorum, suggests, political office was perceived as an honour at Rome. But it was one which had to be bestowed by the populus Romanus in recognition of a man’s dignitas.69 In other words, a man’s ‘worth’ or ‘standing’ was only really demonstrated by his prior services to the state and his moral qualities, and that was what was needed to gain public recognition. Brutus had got it wrong. As Cicero not too subtly reminded him in the treatise he dedicated to Brutus: ‘Honour is the reward for virtue in the considered opinion of the citizenry.’ But the man who gains power (imperium) by some other circumstance, or even against the will of the people, he continues, ‘has laid his hands only on the title of honour, but it is not real honour’.70

Brutus may have secured political office, then, but he had not done so honourably; nor had he acted in a manner that would earn him a reputation for virtue or everlasting fame.

Kathryn Tempest, Brutus the Noble Conspirator

Brutus in the image that he fashioned for himself was not compatible with the way Caesar was setting him up to be a political successor, and there was really never going to be any other outcome than the one that happened.

The Brutus of Shakespeare and Plutarch’s greatest tragedy was that he was pushed into something he wouldn’t have done otherwise. The Brutus of history’s greatest tragedy was accepting Caesar’s forgiveness after the Caesar-Pompey conflict, and then selling out for political ambition, because Caesar's forgiveness is not benevolent.

Rather than have his enemies killed, he offered them mercy or clemency -- clementia in Latin. As Caesar wrote to his advisors, “Let this be our new method of conquering -- to fortify ourselves by mercy and generosity.” Caesar pardoned most of his enemies and forbore confiscating their property. He even promoted some of them to high public office.

This policy won him praise from no less a figure than Marcus Tullius Cicero, who described him in a letter to Aulus Caecina as “mild and merciful by nature.” But Caecina knew a thing or two about dictators, since he’d had to publish a flattering book about Caesar in order to win his pardon after having opposed him in the civil war. Caecina and other beneficiaries of Caesar’s unusual clemency took it in a far more ambivalent way. To begin with, most of them were, like Caesar, Roman nobles. Theirs was a culture of honor and status; asking a peer for a pardon was a serious humiliation. So Caesar’s “very power of granting favors weighed heavily on free people,” as Florus, a historian and panegyrist of Rome, wrote about two centuries after the dictator’s death. One prominent noble, in fact, ostentatiously refused Caesar’s clemency. Marcius Porcius Cato, also known as Cato the Younger, was a determined opponent of populist politics and Caesar’s most bitter foe. They had clashed years earlier over Caesar’s desire to show mercy to the Catiline conspirators; Cato argued vigorously for capital punishment and convinced the Senate to execute them. Now he preferred death to Caesar’s pardon. “I am unwilling to be under obligations to the tyrant for his illegal acts,” Cato said; he told his son, "I, who have been brought up in freedom, with the right of free speech, cannot in my old age change and learn slavery instead.

-Barry Strauss, Caesar and the Dangers of Forgiveness

something else that's a fun adjacent to the topic that's fun to think about:

The link between ‘sparing’ and ‘handing over’ is common in the ancient world.763 Paul also uses παραδίδωμι again, denoting ‘hand over, give up a person’ (Bauer et al. 2000:762).764 The verb παραδίδωμι especially occurs in connection with war (Eschner 2010b:197; Gaventa 2011:272).765 However, in Romans 8:32, Paul uses παραδίδωμι to focus on a court image (Eschner 2010b:201).766 Christina Eschner (2010b:197) convincingly argues that Paul’s use of παραδίδωμι refers to the ‘Hingabeformulierungen’ as the combination of the personal object of the handing over of a person in the violence of another person, especially the handing over of a person to an enemy.767 Moreover, Eschner (2009:676) convincingly argues that Isaiah 53 is not the pre-tradition for Romans 8:32.

Annette Potgieter, Contested Body: Metaphors of dominion in Romans 5-8

Along with the internal conflict of Pompey, the murderer of Brutus’ father, and Caesar, the figurehead for everything that goes against what Brutus stands for, Brutus accepting Caesar’s forgiveness isn’t an act of benevolence, regardless of Caesar’s intentions.

On wards, Caesar owns Brutus. Caesar benefits from having Brutus as his own, he inherits Brutus’ reputation, he inherits a better PR image in the eyes of the Roman people. On wards, nothing Brutus does is without the ugly stain of Caesar. His career is no longer his own, his life is no longer fully his own, his legacy is no longer entirely his. Brutus becomes a man divided.

And it’s not like it was an internal struggle, it was an entire spectacle. Hypocrisy is theatrical. Call yourself a man of honor and then you sell out? The people of Rome will remember that, and they’re going to make sure you know it.

After this certain men at the elections proposed for consuls the tribunes previously mentioned, and they not only privately approached Marcus Brutus and such other persons as were proud-spirited and attempted to persuade them, but also tried to incite them to action publicly. 12 1 Making the most of his having the same name as the great Brutus who overthrew the Tarquins, they scattered broadcast many pamphlets, declaring that he was not truly that man's descendant; for the older Brutus had put to death both his sons, the only ones he had, when they were mere lads, and left no offspring whatever. 2 Nevertheless, the majority pretended to accept such a relationship, in order that Brutus, as a kinsman of that famous man, might be induced to perform deeds as great. They kept continually calling upon him, shouting out "Brutus, Brutus!" and adding further "We need a Brutus." 3 Finally on the statue of the early Brutus they wrote "Would that thou wert living!" and upon the tribunal of the living Brutus (for he was praetor at the time and this is the name given to the seat on which the praetor sits in judgment) "Brutus, thou sleepest," and "Thou art not Brutus."

Cassius Dio

Brutus knew. Cassius knew. Caesar knew. You can’t escape your legacy when you’re the one who stamped it on coins.

Caesar turned Brutus into the dagger that would cut, and Brutus himself isn’t free from this injury. It’s a mutual betrayal, a mutual dooming.

By this time Caesar found himself being attacked from every side, and as he glanced around to see if he could force a way through his attackers, he saw Brutus closing in upon him with his dagger drawn. At this he let go of Casca’s hand which he had seized, muffled up his head in his robe, and yielded up his body to his murderers’ blows. Then the conspirators flung themselves upon him with such a frenzy of violence, as they hacked away with their daggers, that they even wounded one another. Brutus received a stab in the hand as he tried to play his part in the slaughter, and every one of them was drenched in blood.

Plutarch

For Antony, Caesar is a bad sign.

Brutus and Antony are fucked over by the generation they were born in, etc etc the cannibalization of Rome on itself, the Third Servile War was the match to the gasoline already on the streets of Rome, the last generation of Romans etc etc etc. They are counterparts to each other, displaced representatives of a time already gone by the time they were alive.

Rome spends its years in a state of civil war after civil war, political upheaval, and death. Neither Brutus or Antony will ever really know stability, as instability is hallmark of the times. Both of them are at something of a disadvantage, although Brutus has what Antony does not, and what Brutus has is what let’s him create his own career. Until Caesar, Brutus is owned by no one.

This is not the case for Antony.

You can track Antony’s life by who he’s attached to. Very rarely is he ever truly a man unto himself, there is always someone nearby.

In his youth, it is said, Antony gave promise of a brilliant future, but then he became a close friend of Curio and this association seems to have fallen like a blight upon his career. Curio was a man who had become wholly enslaved to the demands of pleasure, and in order to make Antony more pliable to his will, he plunged him into a life of drinking bouts, love-affairs, and reckless spending. The consequence was that Antony quickly ran up debts of an enormous size for so young a man, the sum involved being two hundred and fifty talents. Curio provided security for the whole of this amount, but his father heard of it and forbade Antony his house. Antony then attached himself for a short while to Clodius, the most notorious of all the demagogues of his time for his lawlessness and loose-living, and took part in the campaigns of violence which at that time were throwing political affairs at Rome into chaos.

Plutarch

(although, in contrast to Brutus, we rarely lose sight of Antony. As a person, we can see him with a kind of clarity, if one looks a little bit past the Augustan propaganda. He is, at all times, human.)

Antony being figuratively or literally attached to a person starts early, and continues politically. While Brutus has enough privilege to brute force his way into politics despite Cicero’s lamentation of a promising life being thrown off course, Antony will instead follow a different career path that echoes in his personal life and defines his relationships.

Whereas some young men often attached or indebted themselves to a patron or a military leader at the beginning of their political lives,

Kathryn Tempest, Brutus the Noble Conspirator

+

3. During his stay in Greece he was invited by Gabinius, a man of consular rank, to accompany the Roman force which was about to sail for Syria. Antony declined to join him in a private capacity, but when he was offered the command of the cavalry he agreed to serve in the campaign.

Plutarch

To take it a step further, it even defines how he’s perceived today looking back: it’s never just Antony, it’s always Antony and---

It can be read as someone being taken advantage of, in places, survival in others, especially in Antony's early life. Other times, it appears like Antony himself is the one who manipulates things to his favor, casting aside people and realigning himself back to an advantage.

or when he saw an opportunity for faster advancement, he was willing to place the blame on a convenient scapegoat or to disregard previous loyalties, however important they had been. His desertion of Fulvia's memory in 40, and, much later, of Lepidus, Sextus Pompey, and Octavia, produced significant political gains. This characteristic, which Caesar discovered to his cost in 47, gives the sharp edge to Antony's personality which Syme's portrait lacks, especially when he attributes Antony's actions to a 'sentiment of loyalty' or describes him as a 'frank and chivalrous soldier'. In this context, one wonders what became of Fadia.19

Kathryn E Welch , Antony, Fulvia, and the Ghost of Clodius in 47 B.C.

Caesar inherits Antony, and like Brutus, locks him in for a doomed ending.

The way Caesar writes about Antony smacks of someone viewing another person as something more akin to a dog, and it carries over until it’s bitter conclusion.

Caesar benefits from Antony immensely. The people love Antony, the military loves Antony. He’s charming, he’s self aware, he’s good at what he does. Above all of that, he has political ambitions of a similar passion as Brutus.

Antony drew some political benefit from his genial personality. Even Cicero, who from at least 49 did not like him,15 was prepared to regard some of his earlier misdemeanours as harmless.16 Bluff good humour, moderate intelligence, at least a passing interest in literature, and an ability to be the life and soul of a social gathering all contributed to make him a charming companion and to bind many important people to him. He had a lieutenant's ability to follow orders and a willingness to listen to advice, even (one might say especially) from intelligent women.17 These attributes made Antony able to handle some situations very well."1

There was a more important side to his personality, however, which contributed to his political survival. Antony was ruthless in his quest for pre-eminence

Kathryn E Welch , Antony, Fulvia, and the Ghost of Clodius in 477 B.C.

None of this matters, because after all Antony does for Caesar

Plutarch's comment that Curio brought Antony into Caesar's camp is surely mistaken.59 Anthony had been serving as Caesar's officer from perhaps as early as 53, after his return from Syria.60 He is described as legatus in late 52,61 and was later well known as Caesar's quaestor.62 It is more likely that the reverse of the statement is true, that Antony assisted in bringing Curio over to Caesar. If this were so, then he performed a signal service for Caesar, for gaining Curio meant attaching Fulvia, who provided direct access to the Clodian clientela in the city. Such valuable political connections served to increase Antony's standing with Caesar, and to set him apart from other officers in his army.63

Kathryn E Welch , Antony, Fulvia, and the Ghost of Clodius in 477 B.C.

Caesar still, for whatever reasons, fucks over Antony spectacularly with the will. Loyalty is repaid with dismissal, and it will bury the Republic for good.

It’s not enough for Caesar to screw him over just once, it becomes generational and ugly. Caesar lives on through Octavian: it becomes Octavian’s brand, his motif, propaganda wielded like a knife. Octavian, thanks to Caesar, will bring Antony to his bitter conclusion

And for my "bitter" conclusion, I’ll sign off by saying that there are actual scholars on Antony who are more well versed than I am who can go into depth about the Caesar-Octavian-Antony dynamic (and how it played out with Caligula) better than I can, and scholarship on Brutus consists mostly of looking at an outline of a man and trying to guess what the inside was like.

At the end of the day, Caesar was the instigator, active manipulator, and catalyst for the final act of the Republic.

I hope that this was at least entertaining to read!

[dr-imagines-modfuyuhiko]

hiya, mod fuyu !! hope you've been well !! i was wondering if i could rq a fuyuhiko x GN!reader imagine where the reader confesses to fuyu but he rejects them bc he doesn't want them to get hurt or targeted? (since he's a yakuza n stuff-) could end happily or sadly, i am up for both !! thank you so much in advance !! <3

Fuyuhiko rejecting GN!reader to keep them safe

I have been well, thank you! I hope the same for you <3

I actually have an idea for this one cause I was recently talking about this kinda issue with a friend (we were making Love Hotel scenes for the characters in the first 2 games, may or may not post them at some point). I may or may not rewrite it better? I haven’t decided yet, but I probably will.

Another request!!

Category: Angst to fluff imagine

Specifics: GN!reader, takes place in the anime Despair Arc, no Ultimate (reserve course), affiliation- well you’ll see ;)

Warnings: Mentions and vague descriptions of gangs/violence, spoilers for game and anime

When you had figured out you had a crush on a gangster, you knew there were risks.

So you can imagine your own disappointment in yourself when you realized the gangster you liked was the Ultimate Gangster. A Kuzuryu. You fell in love with a Kuzuryu.

But oh lord did you fall deep.

You were already friends with Natsumi, you were used to dealing with the overly aggressive and arrogant front from your brothers. So becoming friends with the girl was easy. Hajime didn’t see how you were able to do such a thing, but appreciated it since it meant he had to break up less fights between her and Sato.

But then there was the day you met the older brother of the (self-proclaimed) Ultimate Little Sister.

The boy hated you at first, especially when he saw what looked to be a gang symbol on that jacket you wore almost all the time. But he mostly hated you due to his overprotective nature of Natsumi. Even though he wouldn’t say it out loud, it was painfully obvious that he was simply looking out for her. You understood, of course. Your own older brother was like that constantly when he was alive. And now that you were the oldest sibling, it was your job to be that way with your other brother.

After a little while though, he learned to not pay much mind when he heard your motorcycle come up to the school. Or when he would see you next to Natsumi. Nor when she would bring you up in conversation like you were the only one she actively hung out with. Through further investigation, he found this was exactly the case. It took longer than he would’ve liked, but he found that Natsumi only had one actual friend. And that was you. That’s when he started to appreciate you a bit.

However, he noticed rather quickly that she only ever used your first name. She never mentioned your last. This made Fuyuhiko suspicious, but he figured she didn’t want your name out amongst the clan.

After Natsumi died, the boy began to see and hear of you even more often. Apparently you had made friends with Peko at the funeral, which he certainly did not expect. He didn’t even realize she had invited you to the funeral by demand of his father. But it was that fact that got him to finally take an interest in you.

Your first meeting that wasn’t a simple wave from you followed by a scoff from him was when you were with Peko in the dojo. He watched the two of you train and meditate, not saying too much until you mentioned your little brother. You had an angry little sibling, that’s how you became friends with Natsumi...

So naturally, that’s what he brought up when the three of you left. You and Fuyuhiko were walking next to each other to your motorcycle home while Peko went her respective route (as to not be connected as Fuyuhiko’s bodyguard). The two of you got along well, surprising the short boy. You could handle his anger issues and calm him down just as well as you did with his sister.

Eventually it had gotten to the point where you got along too well. Which is what lead to today...

—————

You found yourself running out of the reserve course building faster than Hajime even. He watched you run off with a chuckle, wishing you luck on your mission. What was that mission exactly? Confessing your feelings to a certain yakuza.

You had met up with Peko earlier that day, she helped you prepare the letter and cookies. She then took them to her classroom and placed them on Fuyuhiko’s desk. When he had first seen the two, he immediately asked Peko who put them there.

“I did.” She said nonchalantly before quickly adding, “I was asked to by someone.”

Fuyuhiko raised an eyebrow, curious as to why she hadn’t given a name. He knew it couldn’t be from Peko, he would’ve seen her make the cookies. He also knew she wouldn’t deliver him anything that was unsafe, so he opened the letter before the bag of sweets.

—————

Dear Fuyu,

Before you ask, you do know me, but I’m not telling you who I am just yet. All you need to know for now is that I really like you, I have for a while. Even before we met, I admired you from a distance, which is kinda embarrassing to tell you.

If you‘re at all interested in who sent you this, I’ll be waiting at the fountain between the reserve and main course buildings. Hope to see you there... <3

—————

Now this got the gears in Fuyuhiko’s head turning. Someone liked him? Why? How?? Who???

Peko refuses to tell him either, using the excuse “you said I don’t work for you while at school” with a small playful smirk. He wanted to yell at her but it was Peko, he just can’t bring himself to yell at her.

He spent the rest of the day trying to figure out who sent it. It wouldn’t be anyone in class cause Peko put it there. He wasn’t close with many others in different classes. Part of him thought it was someone in the reserve course because it said to meet them between the two course buildings. Except Y/n was the only one he was close with in the reserve course, plus they were the only person to call him “Fuyu”. But there was no way they liked him back... right?

So he went with the only option he had, he was going to see who gave him this letter.

—————

You sat there at the fountain. Hajime had told you it’d be a good place to meet up with Fuyuhiko, since he often sat here with Chiaki. He told her to meet him somewhere else today for you. So here you sat, waiting for someone who may not be interested in coming.

Just as you were considering giving up and going home, you caught a glimpse of a short blonde boy in a main course uniform.

“Y/n..?” He sounded like he didn’t believe you were there. You gave an awkward wave.

“Did you like the cookies?” Your voice was light as he walked up to you, standing only a few feet away.

“Yeah.. they were really good..”

Fuyuhiko’s face was slightly scrunched, like he was thinking about something serious. It left you concerned but you didn’t know what to say. Instead there was a short and kind of awkward silence. It was deafening. After about a minute, he voiced his thoughts.

“You realize how dangerous this is, right?”

Your head tilted in question, making the boy sigh.

“Don’t.. get me wrong, Y/n. I... I-I really like you too.” Your face lit up for a moment, making his next words hard for him to let out. “But.. I’m a yakuza- the heir to the most dangerous gang in Japan.. people are gonna target you. I can’t have that.” He let out another sigh.

Your own face contorted into one of slight confusion. It slowly turned into amusement, causing you to cover your mouth to let out a stifled laugh. Fuyuhiko looked back up, clearly irritated.

“What the fuck are you laughing at?!”

His angry voice was amusing to you and made you laugh even more. This only pissed the boy off further. He stepped forward again and grabbed you by the shoulders, bringing your face close to his.

“This fucking is serious, Y/n! I don’t want to get some call that someone has you hostage! I don’t want to make you go into hiding cause someone threatened to hurt you! I don’t want to end up with you beaten to a pulp! I don’t want to find you dead in a warehouse cause they want to get back at the Kuzuryu clan! I just fucking can’t! Not after.. not after Natsumi..”

His hurt words forced you to calm yourself down. You took a breath and brought your hands from your mouth to his face, his freckled and blush-marked cheeks in your palms. A reassuring smile was steady on your lips.

“Fuyu, what’s my last name?”

The question took him off-guard for the third time that day. He knew Natsumi never mentioned it, neither did Peko. Why did this matter?

“I-I don’t know,” he answered honestly anyways. His eyebrows furrowed in frustration as he waited for a response.

“Owada.”

Fuyuhiko froze for a second. Owada? As in the biker gang Crazy Diamond?? How did he not figure that out??? Your motorcycle, the jacket you almost always wore, hell even the mention of your dead older brother and alive younger one should’ve been a hint.

It took him a minute to realize why you would bring that up. You had protection from that sort of thing. You were used to being targeted. You could defend yourself with ease. You weren’t gong to end up beaten to a pulp or dead in a warehouse like he had feared. You could take care of yourself even with all the violence surrounding gangs, cause you were the coleader of one. Or at least, your brother was the leader and the gang would protect you.

Once again, you let out a small laugh at his facial expression. It had snapped him out of his thoughts before he angrily grabbed you by the collar. He gave one last look into your happy eyes before kissing you.

To say it was inexperienced was an understatement. But you couldn’t care less, this boy was yours. He felt you soften up and let himself do the same, relaxing into the feeling of your connected lips.

Pulling away, you could see the smile on his face grow wide and the red on his face spread even wider. Both of you stood there for a while, simply staring into each other’s eyes. That is until you heard the engine of a motorcycle in the street.

“Y/n!” You let out a sigh and turned to your younger brother with a deadpan face.

“Mondo, I’m in the middle of something here.”

“You can have your fuckin kissy-face shit later, right now the dudes n chicks are wondering where their soon-to-be former leader is! You’re late for your step down party!”

Step down party? Fuyuhiko decided not to question it too much, he’ll probably ask about it later though.

Mondo stood from his bike and took a few strides towards you and the short boy, causing Fuyuhiko to look around to see if Peko had followed him like she usually did. And of course, she had, right behind the bushes surrounding the fountain. He turned back to see you next to your brother, smacking the back of your his head and messing up his pompadour. He looked like he wanted to smack you back but he knew he’d be in some deep shitif he tried. You turned back to Fuyuhiko, kissing him on the cheek lightly.

“I gotta head back, but I was thinking maybe I could get you a ride around town on my bike tomorrow? Like as a first date maybe?”

His smile couldn’t be wider.

“Yeah, I’d really like that- but don’t fuckin crash and kill me!”

“Just cause I’m stepping down as leader for Mondo doesn’t mean I won’t know how to drive a motorcycle anymore, Fuyu!”

He smiled as you let out a final laugh, turning towards the motorcycle Mondo had driven as getting on the backseat. Said brother tried to turn and yell at Fuyuhiko one last time.

“Hurt them and I fuckin swear-”

“-Mondo shut the fuck up and get on.”

“Peko, you’re not killing my partner’s brother.”

[yikesharringrove]

what do you think about a crossdressing Steve? Maybe he started just liking the soft fabrics of his mom's clothes but then he started wearing them as a way to attempt to hold on to the feigned affection she gave him. Eventually he just got his own stuff because they helped him feel calmer, softer. He would only ever put them on when he believed he would be alone for a while to cook or do chores... And then one day Billy comes over. Do with it what you will.

So, maybe you wanted smut, but non-binary femme presenting Steve is a ridiculously big headcanon I have that I have talked about with several folks and will be included in the next big fic I roll out, so this is some Soft Shit bc I wanted an excuse to write Steve as non-binary femme presenting.

For some drag queen Steve, I got a little thing here.

This exact kinda character study of sorts has actually been in my drafts for like, a month, so I’ve incorporated some of it into this. It's modern, and there is some language that may be harmful, so PLEASE be careful with yourselves, no slurs or anything along those lines, just ignorant stuff. Also, this really went off the rails at the end, I’m Sorry.

Thank you for sending an ask!

Read on ao3!

When Steve was a little kid, he always preferred playing with the girls.

They would have clothes for dress-up, princess dresses, and pirate costumes, anything any child could want. They had wigs, makeup, crowns. Little girls also had babydolls, little pretend kitchens he would play in, plastic baby bouncing at his hip.

When his nanny would come to pick him up from Carol’s house, she would have wipes in the car, to clean off his face. Your father will be very disappointed if he sees you playing with girls’ things again, Steven. He learned very quickly that playing dress-up, wanting to be Mommy when playing house, those are not things little boys did.

He remembers fighting with his parents, when they found the little plastic case of goopy lipglosses Carol had let him keep. He was seven years old and was crying, had screamed as loud as he could that if little boys weren’t allowed to play with makeup, then maybe I don’t want to be a boy.

When his parents started leaving him more often, their absences growing longer the older he got, he began going into his mother’s things, trying on her clothes. He was twelve when he first learned that women’s clothes were made of finer materials, were softer, felt like butter against his skin. He was thirteen and would slip into designer dresses each night, learning makeup from YouTube tutorials, practicing with things left in his mother’s vanity and whatever he could discreetly put in his pockets at Meldvald’s.

He got pretty good. Good enough that at sixteen, he wanted more, would go to stores in Indianapolis, would spend his allowance on dresses, skirts, blouses, frilly little things that fit, that made him feel good, correct.

The first time he put on a pair of lacy panties, he almost cried. the material was soft, the cotton tight and nice against him, the delicate lace trimming the waist and legs was pretty. Steve realized, all he ever wants to be in his life is pretty.

He began thinking of himself as a girl, a young woman. He would tuck his dick back, make the space between his legs flat, let his hair grow out more, long enough to braid, to pin with floral clips.

He started dressing up, going out. Finding bars that would let him in if he batted his false eyelashes just so, would overlook his obviously fake I.D. so that he could go in, talk to men that were too old for him, too interested in his doe eyes, his soft cheeks, men that would buy him drinks, fuck him in the back seats of their cars, whisper about how pretty he looked, men that would touch his cock and coo that his pussy was so tight.

He found he didn’t like that but would grit his teeth, didn’t understand why wearing women’s clothes felt so right but the idea of having a women’s body felt wrong. He didn’t get why he felt the most himself, the most comfortable with his dick tucked up in lace panties, but the minute a man told him he was a good girl he felt sick. 

When he was seventeen, he stopped going out, stopped dressing up. He had Nancy now, a beautiful young woman who wanted a nice, regular young man. He almost told her, almost told her so many times, but then she was drunk, slurring in his face that he was bullshit, that he was fake, like he didn’t already know.

So he kept to himself, started dressing up again, putting on a full face, a delicate outfit the minute he got home. He would dance around while cooking diner, would float around the house in heels and sweeping dresses. They made him feel better, feel good. He would dress up on particularly bad days, would wear his most beautiful pieces when he got poor grades, when his father told him he was a disappointment over the phone. He had been informed today by his English teacher she had assigned him a tutor.

So he had blinked back tears while blending eyeshadow, had put on his prettiest dress, a pretty dark green number, the fabric light, delicate feminine. He was ready to wallow in self-pity and makeup when there was a knock on the door, followed by the voice of his something-like-a-friend Billy Hargrove, announcing with a laugh that you should REALLY start lockin’ your front door, Harrington. Wouldn’t want someone UNSAVORY comin’ in.

Steve was frozen in the kitchen, his best-kept secret all over his face, his body. Billy didn’t even blink twice when he saw Steve, asked what’s cookin’? while leaning over the stove. Steve’s eyes were screwed shut, breathing fast when Billy looked back, took Steve’s shoulder lightly in his hands said, you need to breathe, Sweet Thing, take it slow, match me. He rubbed gently down Steve’s arms, his eyes clear blue when Steve was able to open his own teary ones.

“Billy, you need to swear to me you won’t tell, you, I, people can’t know. They’ll, I mean, I know I’m a fucking freak but no one-”

“Whoa, who said you’re a freak?” Billy’s eyes were sharp.

“Look at me, Billy. I’m, I don’t know what I am. Sometimes, sometimes I wish that I was a girl, but, but something about that feels just, bad, but, but being a fucking boy feels like shit too, and I just,” he was sobbing, loudly and openly, knew his dark liner was no doubt streaming down his face.

“Hey, that’s okay, Honey, you don’t have to know. You just have to feel good.” He led Steve in a few more breaths. “It’s not black and white, you don’t have to be one or the other. You can just be you. Can be Steve, if you want.”

“What-I don’t understand.”

“Well, you don’t feel right as a boy, but you feel just as not right as a girl. There’s more than that. You have more options.” He turned off the stove, led Steve to his bag, whipping out a laptop covered in worn stickers. “So basically, there’re a whole bunch of genders.” He pulled up an infographic on his screen, a color-coded mess of columns and descriptions. “There’s way more than man and woman. There are people who are non-binary, don’t adhere to the idea of two genders. Sometimes non-binary people identify as another gender, a third gender, sometimes they identify as a mixture of identities. Agender people often identify as having no gender at all. genderfluid people tend to fluctuate between identities, can feel agender one day, the next feel like a man, it all depends on the person.” He looked at Steve, hand gentle on his arm. “And none of it’s wrong. There’s no correct way to be a human. And they each are up to interpretation. There are people who identify as agender but choose to present a certain way, there are people who identify as male but choose to present androgynous, there’s no one way to do it.”

“So if I, if I feel good like this,” Steve gestured to the dress, the smeared makeup. “I can still be, a guy, like I can just be a guy that likes to look like a girl.”

“If that feels best to you. Like I said, you don’t have to  be a guy, just because that’s what you were assigned at birth.”

“What do you mean? ‘Assigned at birth’?”

“That means the gender that’s on your birth certificate. It’s just a better way of saying like, male-bodied, since that can be, kinda shitty for people. And like, what even is a male body, you know?”

“You’re getting a little introspective for me here, Bill.”

“Basically, just because you were born with a dick and a doctor was like, it’s a boy, doesn’t mean you have to be a boy that likes looking like a girl, or whatever you said. That’s a perfectly valid way to be, a femme presenting guy, don’t get me wrong, but earlier you said you didn’t feel right as a boy, and I just don’t want you to back yourself into a corner.” Steve blinked.

“Yeah, I think, I think you’re right. I don’t, I’m not a guy. I don’t think.”

“You do not have to know right now. You literally just learned about this, you don’t have to like immediately make a choice. Take some time. Try different labels, try different pronouns, try no labels, see what feels best.” He smiled, looking at Steve softly. “If you want to, I can, like, help you. If you, if you think of something you want to try, it may be nice to, like, hear it from someone else.”

“What was, what was the one that was like, sometimes people identify as like, another gender?” Billy typed away, pulling up a new article.

“I think you mean non-binary. It’s more of an umbrella term to some people, they find more leeway in it.” He scrolled down, pointing at a list of pronouns. “So, some people who identify as non-binary also use alternative pronouns, things like they or ze, which is a way for them to be referred to outside of the gender binary.” Steve’s mind was racing. He tested the words on his tongue, thinking ze, sie, hir to himself, to, themself?

“But if I identify, as, as non-binary, or something, can I still, like, dress like this?”

“Of course. Identity and expression are two different things. To some, they go hand-in-hand, but to others, they can be totally separate.”

“I think, as of right now I think non-binary is okay.” Billy beamed.

“Okay! You don’t have to decide right now, and some folks never decide, they spend their lives flowing through different ways to identify and express themselves, and again, that’s totally fuckin’ okay. Nothing has to magically click into place for you. You can experiment.”

“Can I, can we experiment with, with they. I kinda, it kinda makes sense.” Billy just kept grinning, his smile huge and beautiful.

“Yes, I can do that.” But his face fell, “But I, I mean, this is fuckin’ Hawkins, and I don't’ know, I mean, is it, like safe?” Steve felt like their heart was breaking.

“No, it’s, I don’t think it is, I mean, there haven’t been like incidents but also, we don’t have a lot of people that are, like, openly different.” Billy’s brow was drawn.

“I can, I can call you whatever you want just the two of us, but, I don’t want to like, out you-”

“You can, you can say he was it’s, when it’s other people. I don’t, I don’t want this to get back to my dad, or anything.” Billy’s eyes were sharp.

“I can do that, I can protect you, like that.” He was nodding vigorously. “I just, I wanted to be on the same page, didn’t want to be like misgendering you behind your back and make you feel like shit.”

“You have my express permission to, uh, misgender me, or whatever you just said.” Steve sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “I just gotta get outta this fuckin’ town, man. Then I’ll be good. Live my little queer life outside of the shitty bar outside of town.” Billy laughed.

“You go there?”

“I used to, when I was first kinda, questioning myself. Used to let guys fuck me and call me, like, their pretty little slut or whatever. Not my finest moments.”

“Christ, Stevie. That’s some deep shit. I went once when I first got into town, and some guy was like, I wanna hear you screaming ‘Daddy’ for me and I was like, nope. No thank you to That.” Steve laughed with him.

“I’m pretty sure I did let that guy fuck me. Bily groaned.

“Stevie, no. Don’t call random men Daddy.”

“I’m not gonna lie to you, Bill, I got a lot of daddy issues.”

“Yeah, me too, but not that many.”

“Just enough to be called Daddy, then?” Billy went red, dropped his eyes from Steve as they cackled. “Hit the nail on the fuckin’ head then, didn’t I?”

“Whatever, you little asshole. Let’s just fuckin’ get on with your English homework that is why I’m here after all. Go grab your books.” Steve grinned, leaning in close to Billy.

“Okay, Daddy,” they purred, racing off up the stairs laughing loudly, hearing Billy cursing them out from the kitchen.

[uncurieuxrenard]

Football is more French than you might think.

France has been part of my life since my birth, probably, but, through the years, this feeling grew stronger and stronger. There is actually a year where it started, and that's 2015, but it peaked in the summer of 2016, thanks to the European championship which took place in France. That tournament ended with France losing the final against Portugal, but that inspired me to research for the story of this sport I had just begun following (end of 2015). So I did. I am a perfectionist, so I wanted to dig as deep as possible into this mystery, the first of a long series of origin stories of inventions, sports and more, which, to be honest, were the main reason why I created this blog in the first place. So, I thought that the first one of these stories to share with you had to be the first I researched.

So, we will start from the very beginning and with the premise that, since the dawn of times, every civilisation having roamed Planet Earth has played games, and many of them involved a ball. There are evidences of ball games everywhere in the world, from Pre-Columbian America, where Mayans played the Tlachtli, the probable precursor of basketball, to Asia, and this is where our tale begins.

The civilisation is the Chinese one. The dynasty reigning is the Han. The century is the third B.C. The name of the game is Cuju. Born as a military training, this game, officially recognised by FIFA as the earliest form of the game, initially saw players trying to kick a feather-stuff ball into a goal made of two wood sticks planted on the ground. This game spread from the army to the royal courts and upper classes, always during the Han Dynasty, which lasted from 206 BC to 220 AD. Cuju evolved into something more complex where its popularity during the Tang Dynasty, and it started to resemble football even more. It became a team-oriented game and clubs started to be established, but its popularity exploded during the Song Dinasty (960-1279) and in the X century the first Cuju league was created, 800 years earlier than the British Football Association. Not bad. Eventually, cuju began to fade around the XVII century and soon disappeared.

In the same period cuju was being invented in China, in Europe the spiritual father of European football and rugby was being developed by the Greeks. Despite the image of the lone Greek athlete trying to reach for glory by himself, like a mythological hero, Greeks also played team-oriented games, and Episkyros was one of these. The teams of this violent game, especially in Sparta (where else?), were usually made up of 12-14 players. The field and the teams were divided into two by a line, and another line was behind them. The goal of the game was to push the ball to the other end of the field. This game incorporated, therefore, elements of both football and rugby, which actually were two sports of the same root at the time of their "inception" in XIX century England. But, according to some sources, even the atmosphere was similar back in Ancient Greece. One of these comes from the Egyptian writer Athenaeus of Naucratis' Deipnosophistae, which contains an excerpt dating from the IV century by Antiphanes, the famous comedy writer who describes a moment during an Episkyros game and the consequent reactions from the supporters, all written in a modern television commentary style:

"Once he took and passed the ball, he was enjoying that, while he was dodging an opponent and making another one of them fall on the ground. Then, he helped one of his team mates lift off the ground. All around were strong yells saying "out!", "long ball!", "high!", "low!", "short ball!", "shoot it back to the fray!"

Episkyros never was an Olympic sport in Ancient Greece, but, as you can read above, the agonism was all there, both from the athletes and the audience, unlike cuju, which was merely an exercise, a game. Sports and games always were a serious thing for the Greeks.

Once the Romans conquered Greece in 146 BC, one of the many things they "borrowed" from the Greeks was this game. Romans renamed it Harpastum and it is said that they introduced the rule which forbade to touch the ball with the hands. Plus, when Rome built the empire we all know, this game got immensely popular among the centurions defending the limes of the Roman Empire. This means that, while Greeks invented this game, Romans spread all over Europe (which means the British Isles, naturally).

Actually, the first mention of an unidentified ball game in Britain comes from the IX century AD. We cannot know whether it had anything to do with football, but probably this game was the Harpastum of some game deriving from it. What we know, though, is that the game which officially started it all came from... France.

In fact, if we want to find the actual origins of modern football we have to move to Northern France where, around the same time above mentioned, a new game developed and spread in Normandy and Picardy named Soule (or choule). This game was usually played after a religious function or during the holidays between two teams composed of people coming from two villages, usually close and rivals, but also between two different social statuses or situation (for instance, married men against bachelors et cetera). The game ended when one of the teams, composed of a potentially unlimited number, managed to push the ball with any means (besides the feet, sticks and hands were also allowed) towards the opponents' village, and then shot the ball into the portal of the local church, scoring de facto one gol. The ball disputed in a Soule game was made either of leather or animal bladders, filled with bran, hay, moss or horsehair. The field was of variable dimensions and could include ditches, streams, woods and wetlands, but the game started in the "midfield", which could be the border between the two churches (or "goals", in this case), the square of the village, a graveyard or even the castle of the local landlord.

As my description of this game may suggest, la Soule was a manly, violent game. While this was true, it was unexpectedly regulated and accompanied by an actual code of rules. Surely, it was much less violent than believed, since any type of violence towards the opponents was allowed. If today this sport is remembered as a barbaric, medieval game is surely thanks to the infamous, so called "remission letters", in which real court cases involving injuries and, some times, deaths, were evoked and told. When we actually think about the amount of players involved in a single game of this ancient sport, though, these sad cases were possible, as they are in every sport up to this day. Despite this, these letters helped give this game a bad, and equally unjustified, fame.

The first mention of the Soule in France dates back the year 1147, but it's almost sure that it was played in Northern France way before that date, since scholars are nowadays sure that this game was introduced in England by the Normans after William the Conqueror invaded the island in 1066. Moreover, this theory sounds incredibly plausible because the so-called "mob football", medieval English ball game from which modern football as we know it today descends, has no anterior mentions than 1174 on British soil, and, also, this mob football was characterized by almost identical features and rules than the French soule. However, I think it is right to specify that from the moment the soule was introduced in Britain, every development of the game that eventually led to the codification of modern football, the establishment of the Football Association in 1863 and the birth of the first football clubs (the first of which is Sheffield F.C.), all occured in the British Isles, even though soule kept being played, with discontinuity, on French soil at least until the XIX century.

A special mention goes to all the other subsequent ball games which were played throughout the history of Europe, from the Icelandic Knattleikr, first mentioned in XII century (but probably older) to the Italian Calcio Fiorentino from the Renaissance.

Finally, we can say that this long story tells us that we should never write or talk about history with the verb to be. Football, as in many other inventions and other things in history, is not English. This verb sounds like something definitive, an ended argument, as sure as death. As we can learn from this story, instead, history can surprise us with a lot of beautiful "maybes", "ifs", "actuallys", by showing us Ancient Chinese people kicking a ball, an Ancient Greek young man freestyling and medieval French people scoring goals by shooting balls inside churches, by playing a primitive form of the sport which eventually became the most popular one in our world.

[emotchalla]

Nothing Like the Sun - Six

A/N: Almost the home stretch!! I’m done with finals next week which means more things for you coming soon (in this series, but also everything else on this blog lmao)! 

Summary: Everybody and their mama knows that Bucky has fucked up big time. Steve ventures to fix it. 

Warnings: Angst, baby. Just angst bc the one (1) man we stan is an asshole.

Word count: 1.9k+

Bucky’s POV

When I walk into the house, Steve has “Nobody’s Fault but Mine” by Led Zeppelin blasting from his phone and is dancing at the sink while he washes dishes. He looks so happy right now, completely unbothered by me and my bullshit. I hate that I’ve gotten him involved the way I have, and I know that when T’Challa comes along and finds out how badly I’ve fucked up. I’d die before anything had to happen to Steve, and he knows that, but I also know he won’t let me go through this alone. And that pisses me off more than anything else. I’m tired of dragging people into my shit. I feel the sting of tears threatening to slide past my eyelids and I clear my throat as it starts to tighten. Steve turns around, looks like he’s ready to start yelling again, and then stops. He sees the look in my eyes and he shuts the music off immediately. It’s like a switch has been flipped, and all of his previous anger at me is gone and has been replaced with genuine concern. If I were feeling any better, I’d tease him about being a Mother Hen.  

“Aw, Steve, you shut it off at the best part.”

“Buck? What’s wrong?”

I shake my head.

“Nothing,” I shrug.

“Bucky, come on,” Steve sighs. “Don’t do this.”

“She broke it off,” I mutter.

Steve freezes. His eyes look like they’re about to bulge out of his skull.

“Shit, I’m so sorry Buck.”

I shake my head and clear my throat. 

“It’s fine. I’m fine. I don’t care,” I say just as my voice breaks.

I slump down at the table, knowing that I’m gonna lose it. My chest feels tight and my heart is hammering faster than it ever has. Steve notices I’m about to crack right before it happens. He shuts off the sink. He approaches me warily, waiting for the tears. I choke back a sob as my eyes water again. I can’t hold it in for much longer. Steve dries his hands on his shirt before sitting down next to me. He places a hand on my back, and it’s his obvious care for me that breaks the dam. My cries are more like howls that rip at my chest. I can’t breathe. Steve pulls me into a tight hug and that makes me feel worse.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I mutter.

Steve shakes his head.

“Don’t you dare,” he whispers. “Let it all out, Buck.”

He sounds terrified. To be fair, I don’t think I’ve ever cried in front of him, or anyone else in the pack for that matter. I haven’t cried like this since my time at home with my father. As far as the pack is concerned, I’m not even physically capable of crying. 

“Bucky?” Steve asks.

“Y-Yeah?”

“You alright?”

I shake my head and pull away from him. I’m sure I look a mess. Face all red and blotchy, snot coming out of my nose. 

“I’ll be fine, Stevie. I will.”

He frowns, utterly unconvinced. To be honest, I don’t even believe myself.

 “I don’t know man…you’ve never cried over a girl before.”

“I’ve never loved someone like I love her, Steve,” I mutter. “It’s a little hard to gauge how I’d react to something like that. I’ve-I’ve never felt this way about anybody. I don’t…I don’t even know what to do with myself, man.”

Steve nods.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little freaked out. I’ve never even seen you cry before.”

“I know Steve. But I can’t shake her. You’ve seen what I’m like when she’s not around. She brings out the good in me. I can’t lose her. I can’t wake up everyday without knowing that she’s there…I can’t—”

More tears come before I can finish. Steve pulls me right back into his arms and I cry harsh sobs into his chest. I hate everything about this. 

“Shh, Buck. Shh,” Steve whispers.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t, Bucky.”

Steve pauses.

“Have you thought about what you’re going to do?”

I pull away to look at him. His eyes are earnest, kind. 

“I don’t know, Steve.”

“Are you gonna try to talk to her?”

I laugh to myself, knowing that that would be the stupidest thing I could do.

“I can’t do that. If I tried to go to her house, she’d slam the fucking door in my face. Better yet, she wouldn’t even open it.”

Steve frowns.

“Do you want me to try to talk to her?”

I shake my head.

“She’ll think that I put you up to it.”

“Can I still try?”

I can’t believe he’d ever want to actually help Belle and me stay together. As long as he’s known about the two of us he’s wanted us to go our separate ways. For your joint sakes, he’d always say. 

“Why are you even trying to help me? You’ve been trying to get me to break up with her since the beginning. Aren’t you happy?”

Steve stares back at me, wounded, as if to say how dare you think something like that? 

“Absolutely not,” Steve says. “I could never be happy with you broken up like this. She makes you happy, Bucky, happier than I’ve ever seen you. She’s good for you, and she loves you probably even more than you love her. Which is honestly unfathomable but shit, man, I can’t just sit and let this just happen. I can’t.”

He looks on the verge of tears himself. He grasps my hands in his and gives them a long squeeze. For someone who claims to not believe in love, he’s oddly defensive of it now. All of this is quickly becoming too much for me. I need to take a run or cry some more or punch something, even, but the need to sleep and forget everything is overwhelming. I nod, and pull away from Steve. 

“Do what you want, Steve. I need a nap.”

I push away from the table and head to my room. I can hear Steve’s chair scrape against the kitchen floor as he moves to follow me, but he doesn’t. I can hear the soft padding of his feet and then the slamming of the front door as I make my way up the stairs and into my bedroom. I collapse onto my bed and am immediately overwhelmed by Belle’s scent. My sheets are full of it. I close my eyes as more tears begin to fall, and will myself to forget. 

Belle’s POV

There’s a harsh knock at my window. I roll my eyes and turn my back toward it, cursing Bucky under my breath. I guess I thought Bucky would have a little more respect for me and my wishes than to not even wait one fucking day before he decided to pretend like things were alright again. Obviously not. The knock comes again.

“Fuck off, Bucky!” I groan.

I’ve been crying over him for hours; I thought I’d be safe here, at least. Another knock. Jesus Christ. I get up from my bed and walk over to the window. As I work to raise it, my tongue rattles off curses like I never have before. I’m sure I look like I’m foaming at the mouth.

“I swear to fucking God, Bucky, I told you we were done! You’re such a fucking selfish piece of shit and I don’t fucking understand why the fuck you can’t get it through your thick ass skull—Steve?”

He laughs as my eyes lock with his. 

“Finish the rant, please, I’d love to hear it.”

“Jesus, Steve, don’t hang outside of the window like that! Get your ass inside,” I mutter, reaching out to grab his hands.

He swings his body through the window and bounds over to my bed. He sits down and pats the comforter beside him. I cross my arms and stay where I am.

“Aww, come on, Belle. Don’t be like that.”

“Why are you here, Steve?”

He frowns. 

“I can’t just come by to say hi?”

“Earlier this morning you were threatening to kill me to prove a point about how scary werewolves are and now you want me to believe you’re here for a friendly visit?”

Steve chuckles to himself.

“You’re something else. Come sit, I want to talk.”

I stay where I am.

“About?”

“Come on, Belle.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“You know.”

I shrug.

“I don’t have anything to say that hasn’t already been said.”

“That’s not true. Come on Belle, talk to me.”

“If you’re just going to invade my space and then ignore what I’ve said then you can leave.”

Steve sighs. 

“He’s a wreck without you, Belle.”

“Steve, if Bucky sent you over here to get me back or whatever you’re waisting your time.”

“That’s not—Look, Belle, Bucky didn’t send me.”

I roll my eyes at that.

“Yeah right.”

“He didn’t! To be honest, I don’t even think he actually believed me when I told him I wanted to come and talk to you. As far as he’s concerned, you never want to see him again. I don’t know what he did…but I’m begging you, Belle, please hear him out. Let him fix it. I’ve never seen him like this, all broken and just lost…I can’t…I can’t let either of you go through that.”

He looks almost moved to tears. I have no choice but to believe him, believe that he’s as disturbed by Bucky as he appears to be, but I can’t just back down as easily as he wants me to.

“This is about more than just what happened today, Steve. I’ve been putting up with this on and off and hot and cold bullshit with Bucky for years and I just, I can’t do that anymore. Not when I know how much you’ve both put on the line, not when we love each other like this. I love that boy,” I begin.

“I know you do. He—”

“But I can’t keep letting him decide when it’s convenient to love me back.”

Steve pauses. He sighs.

“I understand,” he says, nodding. 

“Thank you.”

He gets up from the bed and walks over to me.

“So you’ll talk to him, then?”

I wrap my arms tighter around my chest.

“I need time, Steve,” I sigh.

He nods again.

“Yeah, okay.”

He begins to head toward the window.

“Hey,” I call out.

He turns to me.

“Thank you. For coming here, I mean.”

His eyes are wide.

“I don’t…I’ve never really understood the whole ‘being in love’ thing, but I do know what it means to love someone. I love Bucky as if we actually came from the same mother. But the love he has for you, Belle…I’ve never seen anything like it. Honestly…I don’t think he’ll survive without you.”

Before I can respond, he’s out of the window and into the night. I hear the faint howl of a wolf as Steve sprints through the trees and there’s a dull ache in my chest. I hear another wolf’s cry off in the distance, more broken, lost. My eyes sting with tears as I walk toward my bed. As I nestle under the covers, the wolf’s howl is louder, harsher, almost but not quite human. Soft moonlight shines through the window and spills onto the floor. I think I’ll leave the window open tonight. 

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How does prayer work? Ezra 8:21-23 June 16, 2019

Call to Worship (Psalm 46, The Message, adapted)

God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.  We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom, courageous in seastorm and earthquake, before the rush and roar of oceans, and the tremors that shift mountains.

God is forever with us; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit always at our side!

River fountains splash joy, cooling God’s city, this sacred haunt of the Most High. God lives here, the streets are safe, God at your service from crack of dawn. Godless nations rant and rave, kings and mountains threaten, but Earth does anything God says.

God is forever with us; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit always at our side!

Attention, all!! See the marvels of God!  He plants flowers and trees all over the earth, bans war from pole to pole, breaks all the weapons across his knee.  Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at God, above politics, above everything.

God is forever with us; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit always at our side!

And in these days when our hopes and dreams don’t match what we see around us, help us remember:

God is forever with us; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit always at our side!

In her book The Breath of the Soul, Joan Chittester relates a story about learning to pray: “I desire to learn how to pray,” the disciple said to the Holy One.  “Then here is how,” the Holy One said as he plunged the head of the disciple into a bucket of water and held it there while the disciple struggled to be free.  “Why did you do a thing like that?” the disciple demanded to know as he came up out of the water gasping for breath.  “In order to teach you,” the Holy One said, “that when you get to the point where you know you need God as much as you need air, you will have learned how to pray” (36).

That story might be a bit strong for your tastes, so consider a lesson learned from an actor at the American Shakespeare Center. In a talk-back after one of the performances, an audience member asked an actor, “How do you memorize your lines?” The actor responded, “I try to so understand the character that my responses are simply what that character would do.”

In Bible Study this past winter I asked you to list some topics you would like to hear in sermons.  Based on those answers, my sermons for today and June 30 are on prayer. Specifically for today, “How does prayer work?”

Background to Ezra/Nehemiah

To help us think about this we want to go back into the Old Testament story of Ezra.  This might not be the most familiar part of the Bible; for some reason much of our Old Testament study stops with King Solomon.  But God still saw fit to give us about 500 years of history after King Solomon, describing the ways God continued to work with the people he’d been involved with since Genesis 1.

Ezra led God’s people after they had been taken to Babylon in exile.  The books of Ezra and Nehemiah cover about a 200-year segment of history when Jewish people who had been defeated in battle and forced to live in exile in Babylon were allowed to return home.

The first group of people to return to Jerusalem left Babylon in the year 538 BC. Their task was to build the Temple that had been destroyed in the Babylonian invasion.  Even though communication was very difficult, Jewish people living in Babylon did know what their friends and family members were doing back in Jerusalem, and it would have inspired them.  These were real people with a real, shared history.

By the time we get to today’s Scripture text, it’s approximately the year 458—80 years later.  How many of you have something you remember that happened 80+ years ago?  Combine that thought with what is happening in the text and see if you can wrap your mind around what God is doing. Bill and Carolyn would be able to remember the group that left to rebuild the Temple 80 years earlier. The stories they tell of that event so inspire Scott and Alli that they pack up their family and decide to go back to Jerusalem with Ezra. The thing is, Scott and Alli have never lived in Jerusalem. Neither have Bill and Carolyn.  But Bill and Carolyn’s grandparents did live in Jerusalem.  Realizing this, I asked Bill another question: “when were your grandparents born?”  They were all born between the years of 1880 and 1890. (For perspective, there were five US presidents that served in a portion of that decade: (Rutherford Hayes, James Garfield, Chester Arthur, Grover Cleveland, and Benjamin Harrison). 

Six generations after the original exile, Lincoln and Gemma would grow up in the place their great-great-great grandparents called home.

All of that is to say that God has been at work in our lives for a very long time, and that ought to be a factor in our praying—especially when we wonder why God doesn’t answer our prayers right now! This is the kind of investment that God has made in us.  Just the book of Ezra alone tells a six-generation story of God’s faithfulness! That does shed a new light on leaving a church for any issue, doesn’t it!?

The background to the story helps us see that Ezra believed in a God who is capable of so much; the stories that have been passed down for generations have shaped Ezra in significant ways.  But he must live in his own time and add his own voice to the story. His calling is to lead another group of people along the 900-mile road to Jerusalem.  This is no small task.  The trip by itself would be difficult as the road to Jerusalem travelled near the edge of the desert and was frequented by bandits.  More than that, Ezra had quite the caravan with him:

I would assume that this tremendous challenge has been weighing on Ezra’s mind for a while; but here in the text it seems that Ezra has one of those “Oh my goodness” moments where the full weight of what God has called him to do is unavoidably in front of him. And on top of it all, he is “ashamed” to talk ask for a military escort because he has boasted about the goodness and graciousness of God so much.  To go back to the king and ask for an escort would be to reveal his lack of trust in God.

How does prayer “work” for Ezra? Ezra is surely hoping that it will “work” by having God help them make a very dangerous journey safely.  And that’s the way we often think about prayer—that we go to God so that God will do something on our behalf.  It’s not a wrong way to pray.

But at some level Ezra and the people are like the disciple in the illustration at the beginning.  Their heads are underwater, they can’t breathe, and they are realizing their need for air.  Ezra needed to learn that God is faithful and constant, but the only way to learn that was to be vulnerable.

The willingness to be vulnerable is one of the most powerful ways to grow.  But it’s hard to take the risk.  When I was a student at Virginia Tech attending the Good Shepherd church, Marianne Pittman used to tell us “to attempt such things for God that they would surely fail if God is not in them.”  I wonder if Marianne was thinking of Ezra when she told us that.

Watching Brian Mesko play guitar for us the other evening at Summer Vespers made me think of this as well.  Brian is so at ease with the guitar; his fingers seemed to move effortlessly up and down the neck while he played everything from contemporary Christian songs to hymns to jazz and blues.  What I would love to have asked him was to tell us a story about a concert where he tried a new song or a new piece of equipment and it just didn’t work out.  It’s embarrassing to mess up in front of others.  But the only way to avoid that is to not try at all.

We also run into this in Calling the Called—as we call persons to consider pastoral ministry, we need congregations willing to invite persons to preach that first, second, and third sermon to gain the experience.  Not that those sermons always go so well. If churches are serious about training up the next generation of pastors, we need to create safe places for people stumble as they gain experience.

Spiritual maturity appears to be both desirable and effortless, but it comes through sacrifice and investment and a willingness to be vulnerable—to attempt things that will surely fail if God is not in them. In those moments of vulnerability, we see one way prayer works—by changing us.

In this moment of vulnerability, Ezra calls on the people to fast and to pray.  And while the author of this material tells us how it ended—they do make it safely back to Jerusalem—what we’re not told is what happened to them on the inside? How did this experience of prayer work for them?

Prayer can really begin to transform us when we learn to “be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).  The person who wrote Psalm 46 really understood some things about the way the world works.  He knew that there are things which legitimately cause us fear: earthquakes, raging waters, and war.  It would be a helpful exercise to rewrite this Psalm and make it our own personal prayer; we would certainly add any number of things that cause us fear.  We like to think that these things won’t touch us, but the fact is they still do, and when they come the devastation and destruction is often swift and severe.

But in the face of these upheavals the Psalmist also knows that God is in control, and quotes God saying, “Be still, and know that I am God.”  If you’re serious about prayer, then it won’t take you long to realize that those two things go together, that the way to know God and come to trust that God is at work in the midst of some unsafe and risky situations is to be still.

Of course, it’s only in vulnerability that you might be moved to be still—otherwise, why bother?  If you still have options and back doors and plan B’s, then there’s no need to risk the pain and difficulty of vulnerability.

One challenge with living in the time we do is that we place great value on the possession of things. We’re trying to get somewhere or impress someone or achieve some status.  And when we’re in that mindset, prayer just becomes one more way to get something we think we need.

One of the greatest ways that prayer works is by changing us so that our hearts and minds and attitudes are aligned with Jesus.

John the Baptist’s message was “Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand.”

Jesus’ invitation to us was “Come, follow me.”

Paul writes that “Our attitude is to be like Christ Jesus.”

Each of these statements assumes that where we start out when we first meet Jesus is not where we will end up. At some point in our lives we will be confronted with a situation like Ezra—maybe we’ll be the leader, maybe we’ll be the follower.  But either way, we’ve got to get across the desert to get where we’re going. So what do we do about that?

My challenge for you this week is to take some time in prayer.  Put it on your calendar.  Talk to your husband and wife so you can help one another create this space.  Then do a few things:

Go somewhere you can be quiet for 15-30 minutes.

Think about those situations where you are pushed to the point of vulnerability—there are no other options.

Be still and see what God will do in your life.

If you’d like, I’d be glad to hear how it goes.

[heiligenscheiss]

POWER OF THE SHAMAN:

--------------------

Where Does It Come From, How Does It Work?

"I do not deny that White Light Shields are protective. I simply maintain that Shamans channel what I call heavy voltage. Ordinary people may NOT have the power to draw upon sufficient 'voltage' to produce the desired effect." (source)

PRESENTED BY

the Wanderling

PROLOGUE:

In the fall of 1991, in the remote part of an ancient mountain range, high above the tree line, a group of modern day hikers stumbled across the body of a man frozen to death in the snow, fully dressed in clothes of a tribal nature, his body nearly intact and almost perfectly preserved. Incredibly, tests showed the man had been frozen 5000 years years before, sometime between 3350-3140 BC. After a rather intensive investigation over a period of years by a team of scientific experts from a variety of fields, it was concluded that the man appeared to have been a Shaman, presumably dying of exposure when caught out in the open during a mystical retreat on the side of the treacherous mountain.

Several associated facts presented themselves for such speculation. Like many shamans from many cultures the body was tattooed; his weapons, consisting of a roughly-hewn bow made of yew, several unfinished arrows, and an all wood dagger, resembled dummy weapons associated with shamans in other cultures; he carried a medicine bag containing, among other things, a leather thong on which was threaded two pieces of a common birch fungus Piptoporus betulinus which contains polyporic acid C, an effective antibody, especially against stomach microbacteria, which would indicate, if not a specific knowledge of herbs and natural ingredients, at least a general acceptance of their use. A similar fungus, also closely associated with the birch, Amanita muscaria, is not only hallucinogenic but has been used by various shamans cultures as an aid to ecstasy before the dawn of history. It is possible that, if not authentically hallucinogenic, the ones the frozen iceman carried, could at least have been believed to be so; he also carried with him, and unusually so, a copper-headed axe. A very rare object for the time, and because it was metal, for the most part quite valuable in those days, marking him as an individual of high status. Last, an item not discussed at any length in the numerous reports on the frozen man was a net he carried, an object not typically found in hunting as much as used to trap spirits and seen in various forms as a dream catcher and such. Taken together, the fact that he carried only what HE needed and not a variety for wider shamanistic use, again underscores his mountain sojourn as having a more "mystical retreat" aspect to it.

And finally, while it is true the frozen man's location was somewhat close to ancient trade routes and trails which ran through passes nearby, he was NOT actually on one. Aerial photographs of the area show that the site he was found is not in easily accessible terrain, thus it is thought unreasonable he simply strayed there from one of the passes. The body was well above known trails, high in the mountains above the 10,400 foot level, and alone it seems, suggesting the possibility that he had traveled there to be closer to the gods.

The problem most people had with the situation was not that the man might have been a Shaman, because a preponderance of the evidence seemed to implicate nothing other than that, but where he was found. Not in the tundra of Siberia or the ancient ice path of the Rocky Mountains in North America, but the Oetzaler Alps between Austria and Italy, a location that eventually became modern day Europe, an area NEVER thought of in the present era for any sort of a background in things Shaman or even of tribal people. Yet there he was, a 5000 year old frozen Shaman right in the heart of Europe.[1]

INTRODUCTION:

Shamanism is truly an ancient cross cultural world-wide phenomenon, albeit sometimes lost to those of the modern era in the murky reaches of time, as the above story on the Iceman might attest. For many of us though, there remains a thread, however slight or however tenuous, whether it is linked to Early European Tribes, Native American Tribes, African Tribes, or elsewhere, that ties us to that past. As things have unfolded in my life the viability of that thread has been made clear, not just by me on my own, but by those who have never lost touch with their specific cultures or beliefs. In my adult years my practicing backround in things Shaman is primarily based on Obeah, the Shamanistic beliefs found in some of the countries in and around the Caribbean. However, in earlier years, as a very young boy, I traveled, as will be mentioned below, somewhat intensively with my Uncle in similar "circles" throughout various indigenious cultures of the desert southwest. It is admitted I am unable to speak specifically to or of Shamanistic beliefs of ALL Shaman related cultures. I can however, because of my background of having been apprenticed to a Jamaican man of spells called an Obeahman for many years, speak of where the power of the Shaman he exhibited, and from which I learned, is drawn. From that same experience I can speak as well of the results of what happens when that "power" is used, misused, or implemented, and where I learned, regardless of what culture a Shaman resides, the "power" of the Shaman "comes from."

For the most part and for those most truly involved, in the end Shamanism is a calling. How does one know if they have a "calling?" It is not so much YOU that determines such a thing, but the "selection out" that occurs from or by another Shaman that senses an innate ability that is somehow radiated or felt. You yourself may not even know per se' although your whole life you may have had "this feeling." It just needs to be focused and that is what another Shaman can do. That is what happened in my case and to countless others like me throughout the centuries.[2]

ANIMAL TOTEMS: Your Selection or Their Selection?

My Father's brother, my Uncle, spent nearly sixty of his eighty-four years in the desert southwest, having moved to the Taos, Santa Fe, New Mexico area sometime in his twentys. I was quite young when my mother died and when my Father remarried my new mother, or Stepmother as the case may be, brought my Uncle in to "oversee" me. My Uncle had been married at one time as well, but, although he maintained a loosly related association with his wife, he was for all practical purposes, divorced. The woman he was separated from was a Native American of the Little Shell Plains Ojibwe and a fourth level Midewiwin, a secret Ojibwe Medicine Society. She was a very powerful curandera that I had met only in passing, and initally, for the most part, she never payed much attention to me one way or the other, although I sensed something very extraordinary or "different" about her. She reminded me of a lightning or thunderstorm raging in the distant mountains. You only felt safe because you weren't there, although you knew if you were, the storm had the power to wash you away or destroy you by the might of it all.

One day, when I was around ten years old or so, I went for a hike deep into the desert unescorted. When my Uncle discovered I was gone he went looking for me. During my walk I happened across the carcass of a dead rabbit and was fascinated by it for some reason. When my Uncle found me after cresting a small hill he saw me squatted down with the carcass. Joining me quite comfortably in a circle with the rabbit were three what were, because of this incident, to eventually become my Totem Animal --- VULTURES. From what he was able to discern from his initial vantage point I was neither afraid of them nor were they remotely afraid of me. As well, and he swore this to be true --- although I have absolutely no recollection of it and construe it as a possible total misinterpretation of facts --- that the vultures and I were sharing meat from the carcass between us.

When my Uncle told his estranged wife about the incident she suddenly was very interested in me. You see, for some reason, in today's neo-Shaman environment there has been a stress placed on finding one's "power animal." The contemporary neo-Shaman workshops blind people to the fact that real animals are also spirit and power, and every bit as important, or even more so, than than a spirit guide that appears in some vision. The medicine woman knew that.

Where there is carrion lying on the ground, meat-eating birds circle and descend. Life and Death, seemingly two, become one. The living attack the dead, to their own profit. The dead lose nothing by it. They gain as well, by being disposed of. Or they seem to, IF you must think in terms of gain and loss.

--Adapted from "Zen and the Birds of Appetite"

During those years my Uncle spent a lot of time traveling in and about some very isolated sections of the desert and interacting with the indigenous populations thereof because of various, as he called them, "art" related ties he had with them. During many of those travels I went along. It was on one of those trips, at the suggestion of his wife, as a very young boy, I was introduced to things Shaman:

We were on one of our excursions deep into a remote part of the southern New Mexico desert to visit a very strange man my Uncle was somehow associated with. After arrival the two sat together in the shade outside the man's shack and talked for a good part of the day while I either played with the dogs or sat in the cab of the truck fiddling with the radio.

Just as we were leaving the man came up to me and handed me a huge long black with white feather, the biggest, longest feather I had ever seen.

It was nearly as wide as the span of my hand and it's length was as long as I, a ten year old boy, was tall. Tied to the quill shaft, which was much, much bigger around than any piece of schoolroom chalk, was a small, double strand of leather string with ten colored beads attached, one for each of my years he said.

He told me the feather once belonged to a very magnificent bird that was very important to his culture and the desert's well being, but now it belonged to me.

Soon my Uncle and I were on the long dusty road back, and, as kids are wont to do on occasion, I was leaning out the window, flowing the feather in the wind as we sped along. Suddenly the feather was whipped out of my hand and I watched it as it blew high into the sky, caught first in the turbulance from the truck, then by the desert breeze itself, only to disappear from sight altogether. True, it was only a feather, but for some reason it's loss affected me in a deep, sad sort of way.

The next morning my Uncle and I got up and went out to the truck to do a few errands. Laying alone in middle of the pick-up bed near the back of the cab in a very fine smooth layer of dust was a long black with white feather, with a small, double strand leather string with ten colored beads tied to it's quill. Left in the dust also, were what appeared to be several very large, clear footprints of a huge bird along with scratches and talon marks on the tailgate as though, if even for a short time, a giant avian had roosted or landed there. (see)

(click image)

What is trying to made apparent in the above is that I did not select the feather. It was given to me after I had been selected out. The feather was a very rare and important symbol, a giant feather as long as I was tall, of which I immediately lost. However, and this is the point I wish to make clear, I saw the feather fly high into the sky to be gone I thought, forever to the desert winds, only to somehow, mystically, reappear overnight placed carefully in the back of the pickup truck where it would be sure to be found by either myself or my Uncle the next morning. If you follow the links regarding my Uncle and the Obeah you will see later both the original feather and a present day heir to that feather, my Totem Animal, played very important roles in my experiences of things Shaman. [3]

A couple of quick comments regarding the giant feather, estimated to have been nearly as large as a wing feather from the twenty-five foot wingspan Teratorn type bird Argentavis Magnificens, with a feather length of 1.5 meters (60 inches...that is, FIVE FEET) and a width of 20 centimeters (8 inches). When the feather was first given to me, even though it was of a huge size, I, as a young ten-year old boy with a vivid imagination, did not fully grasp the ramifications of it all. For me at the time, it did not seem impossible that a bird could not be of any size, so a feather as long as I was tall did not seem at all that improbable. It was only into high school and beyond that it came to me that I had been in the presence of something truly remarkable. I never saw the bird the feather came from, nor have I ever seen a second or other feathers of such large size, but for a bird to have required such an enormous feather in the first place, it would have to had been truly a giant creature. For the Shaman to have imparted something so rare, meaningful, and valuable to me, a mere ten year old boy with then no history or background, speaks volumes. To learn the fate of the feather, that is, what happened to it, please visit Meditation Along Meteor Crater Rim. See also the home of the ancient ones of the desert southwest, Pendejo Cave, and tales of the sacred Native American site The Sun Dagger.

For those who would question the validity of the existance of a feather of such size in the first place, as stated in the closing sentence of the Legend of the Giant Bird:

The loss of the Buffalo would have a devastating effect on the migratory habits of birds of such size. Not everybody makes the connection, but it is pretty simple stuff, without the herds, migration became very difficult and many of the young birds as well as some of the adults died on their way south. We are talking twenty-five foot wingspan Teratorn type birds, animals so huge they couldn't hunt in woodlands or heavy foilage. They needed large open area suchs as the Great Plains or the Argentine Pampas to navigate and hunt.[4]

In any case, by the time I was old enough for high school my Father had divorced and remarried and my Uncle had long ago gone back to the Taos, Santa Fe, New Mexico desert he loved. It was during those high school years I met a person that had studied under a venerated Maharshi in India, and he, like his teacher before him, was Enlightened. It was he who introduced me to things Zen. Years later I was to travel to and live in Jamaica where through a series of events I met a Shaman man of spells called an Obeah. It was under the auspices of the relationship between the Obeah and myself, after he looked deeply into my eyes and saw that the Shadow of Death had brushed across my soul, that I truly learned of Shamanistic "power," what that power could do and where that power "came from."

The Wanderling's Journey

(click image)

THE SHAMAN'S POWER: From Whence Does It Come?

"An Ally is a power a man can bring into his life to help him, advise him, and give him the strength necessary to perform acts, whether big or small, right or wrong. This ally is necessary to enhance a man's life, guide his acts, and further his knowledge. In fact, an ally is the indispensable aid to knowing."

Carlos Castaneda, "THE TEACHINGS OF DON JUAN: A Yaqui Way to Knowledge."

"I do not deny that White Light Shields are protective. I simply maintain that Shamans channel what I call heavy voltage. Ordinary people may NOT have the power to draw upon sufficient "voltage" to produce the desired effect."

Gloria Feman Orenstein, "Toward an Ecofeminist Ethic of Shamanism and the Sacred."

Again, continuing to refer to White Light Shields Orenstein writes, only this time in The Woman Shaman and Shamanism:

"Moreover, it is to trivialize the spirit world, to demean and negate its authenticity, to think that if you concentrate on manifesting a White Light Shield, that what you get will be beneficent. This is so naive as to be sheer folly. You must have enough power to call upon enough White Light to protect you."

Gloria Feman Orenstein, "The Woman Shaman and Shamanism."

WHITE LIGHT SHIELDS

Carlos Castaneda apprenticed under a Yaqui Indian Shaman named Don Juan Matus that Castandeda refers to interchangeably as a sorcerer and man of knowledge. In lineage his teacher's teacher was a Shaman-sorcerer known as a Diablero, an occult spell-master with evil powers said to have the ability to shape shift. There is some controversy if Don Juan Matus was a real person or a composite of several different people, but one or several, most agree Castaneda's observations regarding Shamans and Shamanism still remain valid. In his works Castaneda writes that a sorcerer's power, that is, a Shaman's power, is "unimaginable." He goes on to say in a copyrighted interview in Time Magazine (March 5, 1973):

"The full use of power can only be acquired with the help of an 'ally,' a spirit entity which attaches itself to the student as a guide. The ally challenges the apprentice when he learns to 'see,' as Castaneda did in the earlier books. The apprentice may duck this battle. For if he wrestles with the ally - like Jacob with the Angel - and loses, he will, in Don Juan's slightly enigmatic terms, 'be snuffed out.' But if he wins, his reward is 'true power the final acquisition of sorcery membership, when all interpretation ceases.'"

However, Castaneda had written previously in his first book THE TEACHINGS OF DON JUAN: A Yaqui Way Of Knowledge (1968):

The idea that a man of knowledge has an ally is the most important of the seven component themes, for it is the only one that is indispensable to explaining what a man of knowledge is. In my classificatory scheme a man of knowledge has an ally, whereas the average man does not, and having an ally is what makes him different from ordinary men.

An ally is A POWER capable of transporting a man beyond the boundaries of himself; that is to say, an ally is a power which allows one to transcend the realm of ordinary reality. Consequently, TO HAVE AN ALLY IMPLIES HAVING POWER; and the fact that a man of knowledge has an ally is by itself proof that the operational goal of the teaching is being fulfilled.

In reality, the "full use of power can only be acquired with the help of an 'ally'", that Castaneda speaks of, like the use of medicinal plants, drugs, or herbs (Aushadhis) --- which he used intially, but denied the necessary use of later --- is a second level of use between the Shaman and the actual power source, the same source the "ally" would draw upon for power. The key here is, in relation to the 1973 interview, and what most people miss when they start discussing an "ally" is "a spirit entity which attaches itself to the student." A STUDENT, not a full fledged Sorcerer or Shaman. While what Castaneda is trying to impart from his first book rings true "... a man of knowledge has an ally, whereas the average man does not, and having an ally is what makes him different from ordinary men," the "having an ally" should really read "having power." People think that an ally is an entity of some sort, when in reality it is an euphemism --- a euphemism for the POWER of THE POWER OF THE SHAMAN. Castaneda actually says so when he presents in his first book that "An ally is a power" and "...to have an ally IMPLIES having power." However, and this is the clinker, either you have it or you don't, it is NOT implied or garnered from another. The true Power of the Shaman is not divisible, the power and the Shaman are ONE. It is not held and shared with or by an ally then metered out in some fashion.

However, ally or no, Sorcerers and Shamans using powers to call up answers, predict the future, facilitate or induce spells, or garner assist or knowledge from planes other than the conventional were thought to have a spiritual servant, a "familiar spirit," in obeisance from other realms. The word "familiar" is from the Latin familiaris, meaning a "household servant," and was intended to express the idea that Sorcerers and Shamans had spirits as their servants, ready to obey their commands. Having a "familiar" as a servant is a far cry from a ally as outlined above. Just the same, the punchline is Sorcerers and Shamans "were thought to have familiars." That doesn't mean they HAVE one, only thought to have one. Basically what you have here is a word-based description shaped around the phenomenon. It is a verbal explanation by the layperson to make sense of how any unexplained form of the Power of the Shaman manifests itself. (see)

(please click image)

In the essay Star Wars, Castaneda, and the Force, discussing the Shaman and any potential allies they may or may not have, meet, or battle, the author writes:

"Tests and trials are commonplace in the quest for knowledge: a pre-requisite in fact. One such trial occurs when the aspirant sorcerer (shaman) has accumulated enough personal power to meet the entity referred to as the ally. This encounter cannot be avoided - it is a mandatory, transitional event. Allies are essentially shapeless and featureless forms - all differing and quite terrifying. The aspirant must confront the ally, grab onto and overcome it."

Star Wars, Castaneda, and the Force

Any of you that are familiar with the massive trials and tribulations faced by the Buddha as he reached toward Enlightenment under the Bodhi Tree battling the three Daughters of Mara and a host of other demons will recognize the same elements in the statement above. Once defeated, as done so by the Buddha, they no longer are, although the power remains, albeit as it were, inherited.

Jose Maria Poveda in his rather extensive book on shamanism, citing another, offers in his very first chapter something similar to the following:

"Don't allow yourself to be directed by an identity that calls itself your guide. Why? Because invoking infinity is much larger, much more satisfying, more valid for the experience of the soul than being directed by an external entity."

"Because invoking INFINITY is much larger, much more satisfying, more valid for the experience of the soul than being directed by an external entity." By 1998 and Castaneda's last book allies are beginning to take a back seat and he goes on to write in The Active Side of Infinty speaking of INFINITY and the importance of INFINITY:

Infinity is everything that surrounds us: the spirit, the dark sea of awareness. It is something that exists out there and rules our lives.

My steps and yours are guided by infinity. The circumstances that seem to be ruled by chance are in essence ruled by the active side of infinity: intent. What put you and me together was the intent of infinity. It is impossible to determine what this intent of infinity is, yet it is there, as palpable as you and I are.

Of course the infinity of which Castaneda speaks is synonymous with the "emptiness" refered to in ancient texts as Sunyata, and it is not just "out there" as Castaneda implies. Sunyata is the WHOLE, encompassing, encompassed and THE encompassing.

The majority of the people reading this will probably be familiar with the meaning of the word limousine. A limousine is usually considered something like a large luxurious automobile usually driven by a chauffeur. The word limousine is a french word and there is really no english equivalent. That is, if you call it anything else, a town car or whatever, it is either a limousine or it isn't. In the same sense, for those of us who speak english there is no single, specific word that encompasses the full the meaning of the power of the Shaman. There is a Japanese word, like many words that have come to us through other cultures such as patio, tomato, karma, carburetor, and kayak, which have no other real specific english equivalent, that has become assimulated into our language. The word of which I speak is Joriki. Joriki roughly translates into: the power or strength which arises when the mind has been unified and brought to one-pointedness. This is more than the ability to concentrate in the usual sense of the word. It is a dynamic power which, once mobilized, enables us even in the most sudden and unexpected situations to act instantly, without pausing to collect our wits, and in a manner wholly appropriate to the circumstances. One who has developed Joriki is no longer a slave to his passions, neither is he at the mercy of his environment. Always in command of both himself and the circumstances of his life, he is able to move with perfect freedom and equanimity. The cultivation of certain supranormal powers is also made possible by Joriki, as is the state in which the mind becomes like clear, still water.

There is another word, Siddhis, from the truly ancient, ancient language Sanskrit that hasn't fallen into the everyday lexicon that carries with it a similar meaning. There are differences, however. If you have ever focused the sun to a pinpoint on your skin using a magnifying glass and felt how quickly and powerful the burning sensation is, that is more like Joriki. Siddhi is more like the power of ocean waves. You may be able to stand against a mild wave or two, but even giant mountains are eventually turned to nothing but sand or even less by their power. In the end the Power of the Shaman is akin to a longer reach or extension of the Shaman, focused through his own abilities or level of expertise. That level of expertise can vary from being very minuscule and tiny to beyond scope --- with the results depending on the abilities, will, and intent of the individual. Jeffery Ellis, a Buddhist-Shaman of some reknown and co-founder of The Toltec Mystery School in Boulder, Colorado, writes in his book DreamingAwake:

"Power is one of the first barriers the warrior (Shaman) must pass in becoming a Man of Knowledge. Power is intoxicating. Magic and Siddhi create a drunkenness that is very tricky to sidestep. What you wish for comes true, like Aladdin and the Genie."

THE "POWER"

There is an axiom that goes:

This being present, that arises; without this, that does not occur.

Which is elaborated on from very ancient texts:

Acts do not perish, even after hundreds and thousands of years. On meeting the right combination of conditions and time, they bear fruit.

Vasubandhu the great Indian Abhidharma master wrote:

Material and mental elements uniterruptedly succeed one another in a series, a procession that has action as originating cause

He continues to write, and this is the punchline:

The successive moments of this procession are different; therefore there is an evolution or transformation of the series.

The successive moments are different, that is they are not the same. If they were the same they would not be different. On a fine grain level the differences are practically imperceptible. On a coarse grain level the differences manifest themselves more readily. Take those differences and place them into their operating field of conditions and the evolution or transformation compounds itself. Conditions? The word conditions is an english word used in context from the Sutras for the Sanskrit word Pratyaya which means (roughly): "the pre-existing conditions that allow primary causes to function." Which basically means if the conditions are absent, then the causes are prevented. Conditions are the milieu, stage set, or playing field where acts or impulses unfold. They can be increased by other conditions, decreased by other conditions, or replaced by other conditions to accelerate or postpone results in the stream of events. Which means that conditions can, but not necessarily DO modify. They arise primarily on a broader scale from causes in the distant past. When conditions do manifest themselves they are for the most part not defined, that is, they are undefined or spent, meaning they cannot create or impact figuratively further downstream responses. However, even though they are spent, they are still extremely powerful in how they impose themselves on the immediate circumstances in which they are operating. To wit:

Any shift in any fashion in the conditions up or down or across the stream relative to the cause will impact the resultant outcome of that cause.

It is IN those areas of conditions that the Shaman operates, where small yet powerful well aimed Shaman directed impluses ever so slightly nudge the conditions which inturn modify the outcome.

Sometimes the flow from the past is so strong that little can be done except to stand fast, but there are also times when the flow CAN be diverted in almost any direction. (source)

And that is true, sometimes the flow IS strong or stronger relative to the Shaman, but that is where the knowledge of the Shaman comes in. Often they must bide their time and wait, other times their abilities and power can overcome the "flow." Remember, from the quote above:

ANY shift (that is ANY shift no matter how large, small, or imperceptable), in any fashion in the conditions up or down or across the stream relative to the cause will impact the resultant outcome of that cause.

It should be noted that on the scientifc side of things, no matter how complex any system may be or appear to be AND, even though it may not be able to be determined or known, they rely upon an underlying order. To that extent very simple or small systems and events can cause very complex behaviors or events. This latter idea is known as Sensitive Dependence On Initial Conditions, a circumstance discovered in the early 1960s by Edward Lorenz the scientist usually credited with the discovery of the Butterfly Effect --- making reference to the fact that small, almost imperceptible happenstances or events, over time, can have huge and momentous consequences.

Shamans and others of the same propensities or ilk develop the abilities needed to use the key that allows them to interact with conditions, thus allowing a change that would otherwise NOT transpire or occur in the normal flow of events if they had not interceded. However, Karma-wise, the resultant outflow from that or any change does not fall on the back of the Shaman IF he is acting in the stead of another person. It is as though the Shaman does not exist and is in effect merely an extension or limb of the person perpetrating the change. The person wanting the change or perpetrating the change catches all the resultant outcomes from that change. See: Good and Evil In Zen Enlightenment and attendant links.

Some people would argue quite stringently that Buddhism and Shamanism are for the most part nowhere related and to draw an anology would be creating a thin line. However, the coincidence of characteristics and striking similarities between Buddhist adepts and ShamansShamanism: Archaic Techniques of Ecstacy. For example, the abilities of the Arhat relating to the sixfold knowledge of the worthy ones that includes not only the ability similar to the Cloud Shaman to appear and disappear at will, but also the oft cited case in Buddhism and Zen by the Venerable Pindola Bharadvaja where the venerable Arhat was adomished by the Buddha for flying and performing miraculous acts infront of the faithful.

Somewhat interesting is the fact that the word shaman, used internationally, has its origin in manch-tangu and has reached the ethnologic vocabulary through Russian. The word originated from saman (xaman), derived from the verb scha-, "to know", so shaman means someone who knows, is wise, a sage. Further ethnologic investigations shows that the true origin for the word Shaman can be tracked from the Sanskrit initially, then through Chinese-Buddhist mediation to the manch-tangu, indicating a much deeper but now overlooked connection between early Buddhism and Shamanism generally. In Pali it is schamana, in Sanskrit Sramana translated to something like "buddhist monk, ascetic". The intermediate Chinese term is scha-men. (source)

A few years out of high school and traveling in Mexico with a high school friend of mine we had made our way south through almost the whole county when we decided to turn east toward the Yucatan to see the ancient Maya temple ruin complex of Chichen Itza. In the process of our travels we went to Oxkintok, one of, at least in those days and may even be so today, most unheard of and seldom visited Mayan ruins. Having done so, unbeknownst to either of us we crossed over the then unknown and yet to be discovered asteroid-caused 65 million year old 112 mile diameter outer rim of the Chicxulub crater, given credit now for the total extinction and demise of the dinosaurs.

On the first night inside the boundary of the impact's dry land portions outer ring onto what would be the crater floor, I had for some reason, become so uneasy and uncomfortable I wasn't able to sleep. We were planning to go to the Maya ruins of Dzibilchaltun, famous now for the Temple of the Seven Dolls and it's importance to the equinox, none of which either my buddy or I knew about at the time, the next day. Thinking I would be up most of the night I unpacked my telescope and set it up primarily to look at the Andromeda galaxy, spending most of my time trying to stay with the spiral's relative movement caused by the Earth's rotation without jiggling the scope so much I couldn't see it. Concentrating all my efforts on doing so, especially after installing a Barlow lens that doubled the scope's power, I completely lost track of time and place. Suddenly a chilling breeze or what was not quite a full wind caused from afar came up out of nowhere snapping me back to reality. Standing up to straighten my back and get the crick out of my neck as well as relax my eyes for a second, just as suddenly right in front of me and just as much out of nowhere as though she had been swept in by the sudden burst of wind, was an old woman. Short in stature with straight, pulled-back, nearly pure white hair and appearing to be of Maya extraction, she carried a gunnysack-like shoulder bag slung across her chest and back and under her arm filled with sticks as though she had been out collecting kindling wood or something. We just stood there looking at each other for what seemed the longest time.

Although what happened next between me, an unworldly just 20 year old boy-man not long out of high school and a little old Maya woman wielding unknown spiritual powers, ended in startling results --- only to repeat themselves again, albeit even harsher in my adult years. See:

ALTUN HA'S SACRIFICIAL ALTAR AND THE CHICXULUB IMPACT

(please click image)

TRAVELS IN THE YUCATAN

ASTEROIDS, SHAMANS, AND THE HIDDEN MAGIC OF MAYA TEMPLES

MAYA SHAMAN AND CHICXULUB

THE NINE MAIN SIDDHIS

INCIDENT AT SUPAI

A SHAMANIC JOURNEY OUTSIDE THE TRADITION

WE DO NOT HAVE SHAMANS

The Case Against "Shamans" In the

North American Indigenous Cultures

THE BEST OF

CARLOS CASTANEDA

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SEE ALSO:

ENLIGHTENMENT AND KARMA

FLYING OINTMENTS

VORTEXES

E-MAIL

THE WANDERLING

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151 questions

sorry i’m trash and i like talking about myself

Who was the last person you held hands with? my aunt last night when she slipped me money lmfao

Are you outgoing or shy? shy but i’ve become much more outgoing than i used to be

Who are you looking forward to seeing? rozi and blake!!!!! i just wanna be back in california

Are you easy to get along with? i hope so; i like to think i’m pretty laid back

If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? 100%

What kind of people are you attracted to? kind and genuine people

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? i am always hoping for that

Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? ,,,,,,blake 

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? with certain people, but not with my friends

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? probably rozi or maybe my dad lmfao

What does the most recent text that you sent say? "i think it’s pretty self explanatory” in reference to me saying i think i have a hemorrhoid LMFAO

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? -- “the greatest,” lana del rey -- “hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me, but i have it,” lana del rey --“after the storm,” mumford and sons --“leader of the landslide,” the lumineers --“darkness on the edge of town,” springsteen i’m just sad girl trash rn

Do you like it when people play with your hair? nah

Do you believe in luck and miracles? yes bc i’ve been so goddamn lucky to have met the people i’ve met 

What good thing happened this summer? i got to work at the bookstore and the deli and visit lauren and ciaran in new york and do some real nice hikes in the smokies and took a goddamn train across the country and got to know some real nice people thanks to my job at disneyland 

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yeah probably but i don’t really care either way

Do you think there is life on other planets? of course

Do you still talk to your first crush? lol i never even talked to him when i had a crush on him

Do you like bubble baths? i’m not really a bath person

Do you like your neighbors? yeah they’re okay i guess, don’t really know them that well

What are you bad habits? sometimes i be gettin into a funk; i’m bad at distinguishing the line between friendly and flirty; i’m not confrontational; i’m bad at eating well; i get embarrassed too easily

Where would you like to visit? egypt, western canada, montana, russia, argentina, morocco, other places

Do you have trust issues? doesn’t everyone?

Favorite part of your daily routine? don’t have much of a routine at the moment bc i have a broke ass ankle but eating and reading and checking my notifications in the morning lmfao

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my stomach probably but i have issues with a lot of parts

What do you do when you wake up? lie in bed for like 2 hours on my phone

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? i’m fine with whatever

Who are you most comfortable around? probably lauren or rozi 

Have any of your exes told you they regret breaking up? lol i don’t have an ex

Do you ever want to get married? maybe

Is your hair long enough for a ponytail? yeah

Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? i dunno but oscar isaac is hot as fuck

Spell your name with your chin. no

Do you play sports? What sports? not right now lmfao but i played tennis for a long time

Would you rather live without TV or music? tv 

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? obviously lmfao

What do you say during awkward silences? nothing i just try to think of something to ask them

Describe your dream girl/guy. kind, genuine, taller than me, feminist, love of the environment, ambitious 

What are your favorite stores to shop in? forever 21 tbh and i guess maybe asos or h&m. also walmart LMFAO

What do you want to do after high school? well right now i wanna get my graduate degree while working at disneyland and then i wanna join the peace corps and then i wanna work for the nps

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? yeah probably

If you’re being extremely quiet, what does it mean? i don’t know what to say, i’m uncomfortable, or i’m jus chillin

Do you smile at strangers? nah not usually, maybe if we’re like in each other’s way or something

Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? neither goddamn

What makes you get out of bed in the morning? bathroom lol and i start to feel gross after lying in bed for a while

What are you paranoid about? being financially stable and about being vulnerable to people

Have you ever been high? nah

Have you ever been drunk? yeah

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?  not really 

What was the color of the last hoodie you wore? i haven’t worn a hoodie in a long ass time but probably grey 

Ever wished you were someone else? nah i just sometimes wish i looked different and had more money

One thing you wish you could change about yourself? stomach and broken ankle 

Favorite makeup brand? don’t have one bc i never wear makeup lol

Favorite store? what i listed earlier

Favorite blog? no thanks

Favorite color? don’t have one

Favorite food? burrito bowls from qdoba lmfao

Last thing you ate? chocolate

First thing you ate this morning? ham and cheese sammy and an apple

Ever won a competition? For what? probably at some point

Been suspended/expelled? For what? nah

Been arrested? For what? nah

Ever been in love? no

Tell us the story of your first kiss. my old coworker who lives in la now wanted to hook up so when i first flew into anaheim a couple months ago, he drove over to my airbnb and we were watching the office and the episode finished and i was like should we start another one and he was like yeah or i could kiss you. so we did. it was strange but nice i think. then we made out and had sex lmfao i really went 0 to 100 in one evening

Are you hungry right now? nah

Do you like your Tumblr friends more than your real friends? i don’t know people on tumblr unless i know them in real life

Facebook or Twitter? facebook

Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? nah

Names of your best friends? i have several, among which are probably lauren, rozi, melissa, brandon, ben, katie, nicole, estevan, and potentially blake

Craving something? What? california

What color are your towels? orange ish i think

How many pillows do you sleep with? one but my ankle is also on one

Do you sleep with stuffed animals? lmfao right now yes

How many stuffed animals do you think you have? i have so many from my childhood, but probably like 15 in my room

Favorite animal? koala

What color is your underwear? skin colored lmfao

Chocolate or vanilla? swirl

Favorite ice cream flavor? probably neapolitan or like ben and jerry’s half baked

What color shirt are you wearing? blue american university library t shirt

What color pants? black shorts

Favorite tv show? probably new amsterdam and superstore and brooklyn nine nine

Favorite movie? inside llewyn davis and the descendants probably

Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? honestly i don’t like mean girls

Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21 jump street

Favorite character from Mean Girls? no

Favorite character from Finding Nemo? i don’t care

First person you talked to today? my mom 

Last person you talked to today? rozi by text, father in person 

Name a person you hate. me bitch

Name a person you love. lauren!

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? nah

In a fight with someone? nah

How many pairs of sweatpants do you have? none

How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? probably like 4 sweaters and 2 hoodies

Last movie you watched? echo in the canyon

Favorite actress? probably frances mcdormand

Favorite actor? oscar isaac

Do you tan a lot? yeah

Have any pets? a cat

How are you feeling? forlorn about california literally all the time

Do you type fast? kind of 

Do you regret anything from your past? not doing enough in the month i was in california before i broke my ankle!!!! i’ll be back tho

Can you spell well? yeah

Do you miss anyone from your past? of course!

Ever been to a bonfire party? probably

Ever broken someone’s heart? nah

Have you ever been on a horse? yeah

What should you be doing? nothin, i’m chillin, tryna heal as soon as i can

Is something irritating you right now? my inability to walk

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? mmm i don’t think so

Do you have trust issues? i still have trust issues since the last time this was asked, yes

Who was the last person you cried in front of? lol i teared up in front of rozi, lyndsay, and britt, but i CRIED in front of blake lmfao. oh wait i was cryin on the plane but i don’t think anyone was really looking at me

What was your childhood nickname? idk i don’t think i had one

Have you ever been out of your province/state? hell yeah

Do you play the Wii? i used to but i haven’t for years

Are you listening to music right now? yeah i’m listening to my new year’s eve playlist from 2 years ago lmfao

Do you like chicken noodle soup? ya

Do you like Chinese food? i’m very specific about it

Favorite book? probably wild 

Are you afraid of the dark? yeah

Are you mean? not usually

Is cheating ever okay? no

Can you keep white shoes clean? for a minute

Do you believe in love at first sight? no

Do you believe in true love? i think so

Are you currently bored? no

What makes you happy? my friends and being financially stable 

Would you change your name? probably not

What your zodiac sign? leo

Do you like subway? yum i stan a good steak and pepper jack on italian herbs and cheese

Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? feel flattered

Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? redundant

Favorite lyrics right now? "i miss long beach and i miss you” and “it will steal your innocence but it will not steal your substance”

Can you count to one million? no

Dumbest lie you ever told? i don’t know, i’ve told a lot

Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed

How tall are you? i always say 5′3″

Curly or straight hair? wavy

Brunette or blonde? brunette

Summer or winter? winter

Night or day? depends on my mood

Favorite month? december and also maybe september

Are you a vegetarian? lol no

Dark, milk, or white chocolate? milk

Tea or coffee? coffee

Was today a good day? it was okay. i talked to rozi for like an hour and a half on the phone so that was nice

Mars or Snickers? snickers

What’s your favorite quote? i have a lot but i’ve always loved “what is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? -- it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-by. but we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.”

Do you believe in ghosts? probably

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42--what’s the first line on that page? the first complete sentence is “he was not sickly or weak but he did not lift very well; he rode horses badly and detested them” from east of eden

[johnchiarello]

Galatians 2

GALATIANS 2- Galatians 2:21 I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain. https://youtu.be/Ld07s54F3M4 Galatians 2 https://ccoutreach87.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/12-27-16-galatians-2.zip ON VIDEO- .What Jerusalem visit was it? .Did Peter quote Paul in Acts 15? .Hearing and believing justifies .Paul rebukes Peter .God chose us .The faith itself is a gift .Justin Martyr .Legalism .Law versus grace .God rested the 7th day .The ‘Way’ .Catholics and Protestants .Great Schism- 1054 ad .Reformation- 16th century .We all have ‘traditions’

NEW- As Paul makes the argument that ‘his gospel’ is the true message of grace- He recounts a story about Peter. One time Peter visited the gentile Christians of Antioch [the region] and when Peter was with them he ate and fellowshipped with them- Galatians 2:11 But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed. Galatians 2:12 For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision. Galatians 2:13 And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation. Then Paul says when some from ‘James’ came down- he separated himself from the gentiles- and started going back to the old ways of the law [The Jews saw the gentiles as unclean]. Paul says he withstood Peter- to his face- and said this- Galatians 2:14 But when I saw that they walked not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel, I said unto Peter before them all, If thou, being a Jew, livest after the manner of Gentiles, and not as do the Jews, why compellest thou the Gentiles to live as do the Jews? Ok- it looks like Peter learned a lesson this day. The same lesson God himself showed him in Acts chapter 10- Acts 10:34 Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons: Acts 10:35 But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him. Now- we read about a visit Paul made to Jerusalem- ’14 years’ after the encounter he mentioned in chapter 1 [of Galatians]- Galatians 2:1 Then fourteen years after I went up again to Jerusalem with Barnabas, and took Titus with me also. Galatians 2:2 And I went up by revelation, and communicated unto them that gospel which I preach among the Gentiles, but privately to them which were of reputation, lest by any means I should run, or had run, in vain. I don’t want to get too much into the weeds here- but bible scholars have different views on the visit to Jerusalem mentioned in this chapter. Some think this is talking about a visit we read about in Acts 11- others think he is speaking about the acts 15 council. On the video I talk about the different reasons why this is so- but it really makes no difference- The main point Paul is making is the fact that the leadership of the Jerusalem church knew he was preaching grace to the gentiles- and they were ok with that. He spends a lot of time in chapters 1 and 2 defending himself- and talking about his interaction with the leaders of the church at Jerusalem. The reason he is doing this is because the Judiazers [the believing Pharisees out of Jerusalem] were going around behind Paul’s back and telling his converts that Paul was teaching in rebellion of the ‘main church’ at Jerusalem. Acts 15:1 And certain men which came down from Judaea taught the brethren, and said, Except ye be circumcised after the manner of Moses, ye cannot be saved. Acts 15:2 When therefore Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension and disputation with them, they determined that Paul and Barnabas, and certain other of them, should go up to Jerusalem unto the apostles and elders about this question. He in fact was not. At the end of the chapter we have another clear argument for why people are indeed justified by faith in Jesus- and not by the works of the law. Galatians 2:16 Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified. Galatians 2:17 But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is therefore Christ the minister of sin? God forbid. Galatians 2:18 For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. Galatians 2:19 For I through the law am dead to the law, that I might live unto God. Galatians 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: neverthless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. I mention- quote a lot on today’s video [Galatians 2]- I’ll try and add some of my past teaching on the key chapters [Acts 10- etc.] Because they fit In with the whole story of what’s going on- The New Testament is to be read in context. When we read thru the whole bible- it helps us see the bigger picture. One note on why I think it might be possible that the visit talked about in this chapter might not be the Acts 15 council- When Paul recounts his rebuke to Peter – these are the same words Peter uses when defending Paul at the Jerusalem council- Galatians 2:14 But when I saw that they walked not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel, I said unto Peter before them all, If thou, being a Jew, livest after the manner of Gentiles, and not as do the Jews, why compellest thou the Gentiles to live as do the Jews? Acts 15:7 And when there had been much disputing, Peter rose up, and said unto them, Men and brethren, ye know how that a good while ago God made choice among us, that the Gentiles by my mouth should hear the word of the gospel, and believe. Acts 15:8 And God, which knoweth the hearts, bare them witness, giving them the Holy Ghost, even as he did unto us; Acts 15:9 And put no difference between us and them, purifying their hearts by faith. Acts 15:10 Now therefore why tempt ye God, to put a yoke upon the neck of the disciples, which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear? Sort of like Peter remembered the earlier rebuke by Paul- and it stuck with him. Another reason it might be the earlier meeting- is Paul says the only ordinance James gave them- was to remember the poor- Galatians 2:9 And when James, Cephas, and John, who seemed to be pillars, perceived the grace that was given unto me, they gave to me and Barnabas the right hands of fellowship; that we should go unto the heathen, and they unto the circumcision. Galatians 2:10 Only they would that we should remember the poor; the same which I also was forward to do. Yet- in the famous Acts 15 meeting- there were actually 4 things James and the leaders told them- and in the Acts 15 meeting- it leaves out the part about taking care of the poor- Acts 15:28 For it seemed good to the Holy Ghost, and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things; Acts 15:29 That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well. Either way- the main message is the same. That the gentile believers did not have to get circumcised and come under the law in order to be saved- In the words of Paul himself- this would make the death of Christ ‘vain’- Galatians 2:21 I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain. PAST TEACHING I DID THAT RELATES- https://ccoutreach87.com/acts/ [see chapters- 10- 11- 15- I talk about them on today’s video- Galatians 2. GALATIANS [Links] https://ccoutreach87.com/2016/12/26/galatians-1/ https://ccoutreach87.com/2016/12/30/2nd-samuel-3-homeless-friends/ I also mention- quote from these books- here are my past commentaries on them- https://ccoutreach87.com/ephesians-highlights/ https://ccoutreach87.com/romans-updated-2015/ https://ccoutreach87.com/john-complete-links-added/ https://ccoutreach87.com/hebrews-updated-2015/ https://ccoutreach87.com/james-2015/ https://ccoutreach87.com/protestant-reformation-luther/ I mention Justin Martyr on today’s video- I taught about him in previous posts- here’s one- HERACLITUS- Ok- lets pick up on my philosophy stuff. Heraclitus lived in the 6th/5th century BC. – He was from Ephesus and his key thought was Ever Present Change.

That is he saw everything as being in a state of continual flux- one of his famous sayings was ‘No man ever steps into the same river twice’.

He is called the Weeping Philosopher- sort of like the prophet Jeremiah in the bible- also called the Weeping Prophet.

Heraclitus is known for his concept of the Logos- the Word- or thought/reason.

Now- this aspect of his thought plays a role in the development of the Christian understanding of Christ himself- in our New Testaments [written in Greek] Jesus is indeed referred to as the Logos- or Word of God.

The Greek philosophers understanding of the Logos was not the same as the Christian view- mainly expressed thru the writings of John [The gospel- the 3 epistles- and Revelation]. But- some see the Greek view as a precursor to Christ.

In the work of one of the early church fathers- Hippolytus ‘The Refutation of all Heresies’ he attacks Heraclitus view of the Logos as an early form of heresy.

The apologist Justin Martyr is more gracious- he [Like Ulrich Zwingli- the great Swiss reformer of the 16th century] viewed the early Geek thinkers as ‘pre- Christian’ or ‘Christians before Christ’.

Though many reject this view- yet there is some scripture to back it up. The apostle Paul said in his letter to the Romans that if the Gentiles [non-Jews] do by nature the things contained in the law- then they are justified in God’s sight.

Of course these things are debatable- but I add this to show you that some great Christian thinkers did indeed view the early Greek thinkers- who did live by a moral code- as being right in God’s eyes.

And the bible does teach a theme that we will be judged according to the amount of light [understanding] that we had at the time.

I should note that Plato [one of the 3 titans that arose after Heraclitus- from the city/state of Athens] disagreed with Heraclitus on all things being in a state of constant change.

When [if?] we get to Socrates- Plato and Aristotle- I’ll try and cover the ways they advanced- built upon- the thought of the pre Socratic thinkers.

As a side note- the most famous student of Aristotle- who was the most famous student of Plato- who was the most famous student of Socrates- was Alexander the Great.

This goes to show you how great an influence Greek philosophy had on the ancient world.

A few nuggets from Heraclitus- ‘all things come to pass in accordance with this Logos’ ‘follow the common’ ‘not having their own judgment’.

Recently I covered Acts chapter 2- and we see some of these ideas in the early Christian movement. The first Christians did ‘follow the common’ they sold their goods- and had ‘all things common’ [communal lifestyle].

The apostle Paul teaches the early church to all ‘speak the same thing- that there be no divisions among you’. And the New Testament also says the scripture should not be given to Private Interpretation- meaning- ‘not having your own personal judgment’.

All in all- we do indeed see a sort of pre Christian thought in the pre Socratic thinkers- they did indeed speak of the Divine- God- though there understanding of him was not the same as the Christian church.

In a sense- Heraclitus idea that in life- the only ‘constant’ is the fact that there is no constant- that life itself is made up of an ongoing journey- we live day by day- not ever knowing what ‘the next day will bring forth’- Jesus.

Yeah- the man had some good points- the later Stoics would consider Heraclitus as the father of their movement. And in the study of Philosophy- the Stoics- who had a good run from a few years before the Common Era- were overtaken in the 4th century [as the main influential philosophy of the time] by some new and lasting philosophy- started by a man named Jesus Christ- who his followers claimed rose from the dead. Yeah- this New Way was called Christianity- and this philosophy has endured now for over 2 thousand years.

________________________________________ 1895- BUYER BEWARE!

We bought the Rocu thing the other day.

That’s the device that lets you watch movies on line.

You get a lot of real good stuff- I was surprised.

I was also surprised to see all the documentaries about religion and Christianity.

The ones from Netflix looked interesting- so I watched a couple.

Yikes!!

All of the ones I saw were done from a skeptic’s point of view.

Now- as someone who writes on apologetics [the defense of the faith] I am familiar with these arguments against the faith.

But- if you are not familiar- these doc’s will shake your faith- for sure.

Why?

They are done from the perspective that Christianity basically copied the Greek myths of God and religion- they focus on the ‘similarities’ between Christianity and Greek [and other cultures] religions.

Okay- what was wrong- or deceptive?

First- this entire school of thought was popularized in the 19th century- from the Christian universities in Germany.

Yes- some good men- well meaning men [others not so good! Freud- etc] believed that in order for the faith to survive in this ‘brave new world’ [modernity- and the whole humanistic advance of man since the enlightenment].

That they had to re-fashion the faith and sort of bring it up to date with the times.

Men like Rudolph Bultman introduced the idea of ‘de mythologizing’ the bible.

So- these guys rejected all the supernatural elements of the bible- no more miracles- angels- demons- or resurrection!

Many people embraced this ‘new’ bold approach to the faith- and basically became theological liberals.

One of the reasons some of these men went down this road were covered in the above documentaries.

Okay- as I watched a couple of them- they had similar themes- and were also wrong in the same way.

They compared about 25 other religious myths- from other cultures- and they said these other religious myths all had a savior- a son of god- who had 12 disciples.

They said this Lamb of God died- was buried- and on the 3rd day rose again.

They said he did miracles- was born of a virgin- was called Lord and savior.

And they made it sound like this ‘story’- in complete form- was repeated many times before the Christians ‘picked it up’.

Wow- double wow.

Why are these documentaries dangerous?

First- I actually have read/studied in this field.

The similarities that they described in the doc’s were way overdone- they simply are not true.

That’s the first problem.

But- they did mix in some truth- with the false stuff.

Both of the documentaries I saw [it seems like there is one person- producer- behind the 2 I saw] did give an actual quote from a 2nd century Christian leader- Justin Martyr.

The quote is indeed real- Justin is known as one of the first Apologists of the church.

He defended the faith during a time when many enemies of the faith slandered the religion.

In one defense [out of many] he said that those who reject Christianity because we believe that a Divine son rose from the dead- that others also held the same type of belief in the pagan world.

He was referring to the god Jupiter and the stories that surround those who believed in him.

You also do find this same type of thing in the myth of Hercules.

Okay- so the skeptic was right then?

No.

In the documentary- the skeptic actually gives the quote from Justin- and Justin says that just because these similarities did exist in other religions- before Christ- that this in no way means the Christian faith is false.

How so?

Justin said it was possible for satan to have ‘imitated’ what was really going to happen.

The skeptic mocked this argument from Justin- and went on to challenge the faith.

A few things.

First- it is possible that Justin was right.

2nd.

This whole line of attack is not new [unless you never heard of it before- which is why I’m kinda surprised that Netflix has them in their lineup].

It goes all the way back to the writings of Gilgamesh.

These are writings that also have similarities to the things we find in the bible- yet they are not coming from the Christian perspective.

They contain a story about a flood [like the one in Genesis].

So- over time- skeptics have said ‘see- the bible must have copied these flood stories- because we find them in other cultures’.

I actually covered this before.

Let me give you the short version.

We- as Christians- do indeed believe the story of Noah [the flood].

Some debate whether it was a global event or local- I don’t want to get into that now.

But- if there was a huge event- say like a 911 plane attack on the world trade center.

Would you not expect to find that event- recorded in more than one culture?

Of course you would.

So the fact that other cultures have a flood event recorded too- this does not mean the Christians plagiarized the flood- no- it would be evidence that the flood really did happen.

See?

Now- the similarities between a divine son who rose from the dead.

First- there ARE NOT 25 or so stories like this- with 12 disciples- raised on the 3rd day- and so on.

The producer of the doc was simply mislead- or outright lying.

2nd.

We must remember that anything we find in Greek culture- which predated Christian ‘culture’ was also predated by Jewish culture.

That is to say that the story of Judaism comes before the Greek philosophers.

Are there any themes in the Jewish religion that speak about a Messiah who would come- die- and be the Messiah of all mankind?

Yes!

So- you could argue that any similarities between Greek myth- and Christianity- are actually ‘copies’ taken from the Old Testament story.

That is- God himself gave us clues about the story of redemption- and these clues might have very well ‘seeped’ into the Greek culture- before Christ- and that’s why you might find similarities between the 2.

See?

Okay- I could go on- but I think I made the point.

I was not mad that these documentaries were on net flix.

But I saw the danger in presenting one side like this- without giving the other view [which I just gave].

All in all- the Christian faith has more historical backing [like the many thousands of bible manuscripts that survived the early days] than any other religion or writings of any kind.

The documentaries made a couple of good points- things that were indeed true- but they had way too much mis information in them to be playing on such a huge venue.

Buyer [or watcher] beware!

http://www.corpuschristioutreachministries.blogspot.com Note- Do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on. Thanks- John. Don’t forget to scroll down on the timeline [Facebook] – I have posted lots.

Let’s talk a little about Apologetics/Theology. Apologetics is the field where Christians Defend the Faith.

In our day- it is common for believers to be ‘left in the dust’ when they bang up against an atheistic scientist [they not all are!] or someone versed in Philosophy [Sartre or Camus- atheist thinkers- or Hitchen’s and Dawkins].

Many times these various fields of study are too much for the average believer to feel like he can engage in- in an intelligent way- and ‘win’ the argument for the Christian view.

But church history has a long- and very successful- track record doing this very thing.

A few weeks back I did about 5 posts or so on Philosophy- a field I like to study. But if you do too many of those posts at one time- then it can get a little heavy [and boring!] So I try to break it up by only doing so many at a time. The same goes for Theology- Church History- etc.

But over time- if we become well versed in these various fields- it will help us defend the Christian view- in an intelligent way- without being mean about it [I try!]

But sometimes you will offend people- even if you try to be nice- because you’re engaging in a conversation that says ‘yes- as Christians we believe in ultimate truth- and that truth is in the person of Jesus Christ’ yes- that will offend some.

My approach to these types of debates is I’m what you would call Ecumenical- I believe that Catholics, Protestants, Orthodox- and all the other ‘churches’ that profess Christ- I believe they are all Christian.

Now you might say ‘well John- doesn’t everybody?’ Actually no- many of the most knowledgeable Apologists do indeed go after the other groups. Quite often you will have a strong protestant defender [usually from the Reformed faith] that will really hit the Catholic church- in my view- too hard.

While it is true that historically Catholics and Protestants have differences- I have often found that Many ‘average’ Catholics/Protestants are not really aware of the real differences- they often have very limited perspectives about the ‘other side’ and these limited ideas [often wrong] seem to stay with the people- for most of their lives.

One example- the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception- what is it?

The teaching became Official- only in the last 2 centuries of the Catholic church- though it was held by many- it finally became official in the last 2 hundred years [ 1854 for the Immaculate Conception- 1950 for the Assumption of Mary doctrine].

The doctrine teaches that the Virgin Mary- Jesus Mom- was born ‘without the taint of original sin’. Now- what does that mean?

Some Protestants think the Catholics teach that Mary was ‘sinless’ in the same way Christ was sinless.

Actually- that’s not the official doctrine [see- it’s important to know the official teaching when we engage like this]. The actual teaching- that has the churches Imprimatur on it- is that Mary WAS A SINNER- just like the rest of us- but in order for Jesus to have been born from a pure vessel- that the actual work of the Cross- Redemption- it was applied to Mary ‘ahead of time’.

Yes- the official teaching is that Mary ‘was saved’ from her sin- just like the rest of us- thru the Cross. The difference is the forgiveness that came to Mary- came to her before she was born- yes- the teaching does teach that Mary was born ‘without sin’ but not like Jesus was without sin- but she was ‘without sin’ because her salvation was applied ahead of time- way ahead of time- before she was born.

Okay- do Protestants believe in this teaching? No. But is it ‘so way out of line’ to the point where we should view our Catholic brothers and sisters as ‘non Christian’ because of it? No- not in my view.

Plus- many Catholics don’t even realize that this is what the doctrine teaches- many think it is talking about the birth of Jesus- being born without sin- by the act of the Holy Spirit descending upon the Virgin Mary and Mary conceiving.

No- this is what we call ‘The Virgin birth- conceived by the Holy Ghost’. Jesus being born from a virgin with no earthly father.

This is not the Immaculate Conception.

So right here alone [trust me- there are many more examples that I could give] Both Catholics and Protestants usually get the doctrine wrong- yet they remain divided their whole lives- over something that they are not even right about.

So I have found this type of stuff to be a problem while striving for Christian unity- and many Christians prefer to see the ‘other side’ in a negative light- and will continue to view them that way- till they die.

I always feel bad when I lose a friend from the site- sometimes you can’t help it [other times it is my fault!] but sometimes it’s because we have views about things- strongly held views- and when others hold to a different view- well we try and avoid them.

One day I received a Friends Request- to my surprise- it was from a young Catholic priest- I did not know him but he must have read a few posts of mine and liked them. He often gave me Thumbs Up comments on the posts- and at times would tell me he loved the posts.

Most were my Theology/Church history posts.

Often times Catholics and Protestants can agree and enjoy these types of studies. I love studying and teaching on the Church Fathers and early Christian history- and these sources all have a very strong Catholic flavor to them- so I see my fellow Catholics as being a part of a long tradition of Christian history.

Many famous converts to the Catholic Church [Bishop John Newman- converted from the Anglican Church] convert because they read the Church Fathers- and when you read them- it’s obvious to see the catholic nature of the early church in these men’s writings.

So anyway I was very happy to have a Catholic priest as one of my ‘on line students’ [and honored].

But one day- during one of my studies [covering one subject for a month or so] to my surprise I saw he was gone [yes- the dreaded block]. I thought- geez- wonder why?

I realized it was right in the middle of a study I did on Islam- and while I was doing the posts- I was also going thru a study on Islam- by the same guy who teaches it to the U.S. govt. – yes- it was a prof. [I think named Espinoza?] who teaches Islam to our govt. employees [sort of like a tolerance type thing].

Though the teacher was Catholic- yet he was VERY much pro Islam- I mean to the point where I had to reject some of the stuff he was saying- and finish the study from my own education on Islam.

At one point- he taught that the spread of Islam thru out the world had a wonderful- liberating effect on all the women in the lands where Islam spread. I mean it was so obvious that the man had no idea what he was talking about [in this area] that I realized he was not a good source [this happens every so often].

And it was more troubling that this was the guy Obama picked to teach Islam to our govt. employees [don’t get me wrong here- he teaches our govt. workers- not to convert them- but more of an informative type thing- just like you would teach any other course about sexual harassment- or whatever].

Anyway- in one of my posts while teaching on my site- I did refer to Mohamed as ‘the prophet’- now- I don’t receive Mohamed that way myself- but because I was teaching some Muslims who did recently join the site- well I used the title in this way.

I think that might have been the ‘last straw’ for my student/priest- he ‘went on Pilgrimage’ right after that post.

Okay- today’s point is we all should try our best to be ‘tolerant’ that is- we should give people as much grace/mercy as possible- but at the same time we also need to be honest about the Christian faith.

Yes- as Christians we believe salvation comes thru Christ- he was not just ‘one religious leader among many’ no- we believe he is the Way- the Truth- the Life/light- no man comes to the Father- but by him.

Sometimes we do our best not to offend- we might even go out of our way to receive people- other religions and systems that are not Christian- that’s okay- I have Muslim and Jewish and all types of friends- I’m glad they are my friends!

But we also have to be honest about our beliefs- and every now and then that might- just might- earn you a BLOCK.

http://www.corpuschristioutreachministries.blogspot.com

(594) . Let me cover some church history. I have had someone argue with me about the history of Islam. Not a Muslim, but a Christian who was saying ‘why do you say Islam started in the 7th century, it started around the 11th’. My answer was ‘Muhammad lived in the 7th century’. Not to hard to see this. So I thought I should cover some history. During the time of the rise of Islam, the Christian church was already dividing from east and west. After Constantine [4th century Roman emperor] consolidated the Roman Empire in the 4th century he set up the capital city of the eastern empire, Constantinople [named after him]. As time progressed the western church would take on the form of Roman Catholicism, the eastern [Constantinople area. Modern day Turkey-Istanbul] would be known as ‘Orthodox’. Though the official split of eastern and western [Catholic-Rome!] churches occurred in 1054 AD, yet the division started years before. The official split is called ‘the great schism’ of the 11th century; it would not be until 500 years later that the church would have her ‘reformation’. The official reason for this split was over a rather silly thing. For centuries the Catholic church had an expression that said ‘the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father’ than they included ‘he proceeds from the father and the Son’. Well the eastern brothers didn’t like Rome telling them what to believe and used this as the official reason to ‘have the schism’. To be honest the divisions were coming for years. After the Roman Empire consolidated under Constantine, he tried to strengthen the eastern territories of his empire and for centuries you had the struggle for which region would be the most influential. At first you had 5 major areas that were divided under 5 main Bishops. As time went on the argument would be ‘which bishop has the most say so’ and it was really a power struggle. Finally Rome said ‘the bishop of Rome is the FIRST AMONG EQUALS [a term that many in the Protestant strain of the discipling movement would later embrace] he holds Peters seat’ and this is really where the divisions started. Eventually Muhammad would rise and Islam would take control of the eastern capital. This later became the reason for the crusades. The Catholic church wanted to regain the territories that she lost in the east. The eastern churches are very much Catholic in many ways. They also hold to a view of Christianity that sees man being ‘joined’ with God and becoming pleasing to God thru Christ’s grace uniting with us and making us like him. A perfectly scriptural view, but a different emphasis from the strong intellectual power that you read about from the western fathers of the church. The Catholic church is noted for her social action in ways that the eastern church is not. So both of these communions have good things to bring to the table. The Orthodox [eastern] churches would not be affected by the major social and political upheavals that took place in the west. The Renaissance, the Reformation and the Enlightenment had major impacts on western Christianity, while not affecting the eastern church in the same way. During the 13th- 15th centuries you would have ‘pre reformers’ rise up in the western church. John Wycliffe, the great Catholic Priest who was at the center of learning in France would become known for his translating the scriptures into the common language. Then you have John Huss and John Knox [3 Johns, scripture says 3 fold cords are not easily broken!] who would have their own influence in western Christianity. At this time you had whole movements of believers who would be seen as neither ‘western or eastern’ but restorationist [the restoring of the early practices and beliefs of the church] Peter Waldo would be the Father of the Waldensians and in the 12th century you would have the Albigenses in the south of France. These groups would be looked upon as ‘cults’ [though the term was not used yet] by the traditional church. So you can see how the church has been growing and reforming ever since the first century. Even though we see many divisions that exist till this day, there are strides being made for unity. The eastern and western church are very close to‘re uniting’ once again. While I do not personally hold to the doctrine of the Pope being the occupier of Peter’s seat, I also see him as a Christian man who is striving for unity in Christ’s church. Some believe the whole attempt for outward unity is futile. The more ardent Protestants see it as ‘the one world church of the anti christ’ I reject that language out of hand. Well I hope you got something out of this short overview of world history [real short!].

[parts] Part of the achievements of Constantine was his development of the eastern half of the Roman empire- whose capitol was named after him- Constantinople.

Over a period of years the early Roman church fought over whose bishop would have more influence- the bishop of Rome [Pope] or the bishop in the east.

Many bishops in the Catholic Church have disagreed over the influence of one bishop being greater than the others [the idea that all the bishops should have an equal voice at the church councils is called Collegiality].

This has caused splits within the Catholic Church thru the centuries [the last big one in the 19th century].

Eventually the early church split- and the Eastern Church separated from Rome.

The eastern empire [called Byzantium- the seat of the Eastern Orthodox Church] officially split in the year 1054.

Now- in church history we call this the Great Schism- even though the Protestant split which took place in the 16th century was greater in effect.

Okay- the Protestant reformers split over various issues- I have an entire study on the blog about this.

But the main issue became what we call justification by faith.

Over the centuries many good men- and average church goers- lost the main message of the New Testament- which was a message of being saved by the grace of God.

Many well meaning Christians were struggling to do penance in a way that sort of earned them their salvation thru works. [parts] ELI’S BOOK https://ccoutreach87.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/11-24-15-elis-book.zip ON VIDEO- .Why did Paul work to support himself and others? .Did I relapse? .Will you pray for me? .Baptist- Catholic- Orthodox .House church? .Should we tithe? .Law or Christ? .Bishops .Church history .Russia goes Orthodox .Moscow the new Rome? .The Papacy .John of Damascus .Icons [parts] The 6th session of Trent was the one where the church dealt with justification [how we become saved in Gods sight].

Rome made a distinction between mortal and Venial sin in the council- the church said that Baptism is the INSTRUMENTAL CAUSE of justification. Yet faith is the Root- Foundation and Initial act that justifies.

Rome also taught that Mortal sin kills the grace in the soul that brings justification- and when a person commits a mortal sin- they need the ‘2nd plank of justification’ in order to be brought back into a state of Grace.

This 2nd Plank is the Sacrament of Penance [confession]. Catholic Moral Theologians use an example to show the difference between Mortal and Venial sin.

Drinking- if you take a drink [alcohol] not a sin. If you get tipsy- Venial- and if you get flat drunk- mortal.

This is a true teaching by the way- not making this up.

Catholic scholars are not in total agreement on all the Mortal/Venial sins.

Some teach that missing Mass on Sunday is a Mortal sin.

I just threw this in to show you the debates that take place.

The teachings from Trent are referred to as Tridentine.

The Protestants [early on] rejected the belief that a person can lose Gods grace once he has it- later on the Protestants would divide- severely- over this teaching- Predestination and the Perseverance of the Saints.

But early on all the major Reformers did indeed teach this.

Luther believed in the doctrine of Predestination just as much- if not more- than John Calvin.

But sometimes in these history shows they get this wrong and say Luther and Calvin disagreed on it- that’s a common mistake that you hear every so often.

Luther actually wrote a book dedicated to the subject [The Bondage of the Will] Calvin never wrote a book solely on the subject.

Okay- as we end this brief study of the Protestant Reformation- you could also call it a primer on Catholic doctrine [short one].

Why is it important that we study this?

In John chapter 17 Jesus said that he desired unity for all of Gods people- and many of these divisions- which date back 500 years- are commonly misunderstood on both sides.

It is common in our day to run across an ex Catholic who might say ‘you know- I left the church because I don’t believe I need to confess to a priest’ or ‘the Catholic church teaches you are saved by works’.

The original Reformers did not have a problem with confession- the Lutherans carried the practice over into their communion.

And like I just showed you- the Catholic church rejected the doctrine of being saved ‘by works’ [Pelagianism] and simply emphasized the teaching found in the bible- the book of James- and focused more on James than Paul [who the protestants focus on].

So yes- there are still differences- but if we are not informed- then it makes it harder to strive for unity- and at the end of the day God does desire unity for all his people.

The other day I quoted the great Civil rights leader- MLK. In one of his famous speeches that’s played when we celebrate his life- you hear Martin say that not only was he seeking unity among the races- but also in the church.

He said he wanted to see Catholics and Protestants- as well as Blacks and Whites- sit down together- he referred to us all as Gods kids.

I think we should strive to achieve the desire of Martin- and Jesus.

Amen. [parts] 1782- PROTESTANT REFORMATION CONCLUSION

Today let’s finish up the study on the Protestant Reformation. We left off on Luther disputing with the church over the doctrine of how a person becomes just in the sight of God- is it by works or faith?

Now- to the surprise of many Protestants [and Catholics!] both sides agreed that a person cannot be justified by works.

Yes- the Catholic Church rejected what was known as Pelagianism. In the early centuries of the church there was a Catholic priest- named Pelagius- who taught that people had the ability within themselves to obey Gods law and become saved that way.

He rejected the doctrine of original sin and another famous bishop- Saint Augustine- would refute Pelagius and teach salvation comes by the Grace of God. The official Catholic position was to reject Pelagius and accept Augustine.

Okay- then where’s the difference?

The church council that spells it out is the Council of Trent [named after the Italian city where the council took place in the 1500’s- Trento].

This council is often referred to as the Counter Reformation. The church rejected the Protestant line- but also acknowledged the need for reform and made some changes.

This is the council where the church rejects Pelagianism- and also says the position of Luther [Justification by Faith ALONE] was flawed.

The church appealed to the New Testament letter of Saint James- where James uses an example from the life of Abraham [found in Genesis 22] where Abraham obeys God and is willing to sacrifice his son Isaac on an altar.

Of course this never happens- God was simply testing Abraham- but James says this act of obedience justified him in Gods sight.

James says ‘see how a man is justified by works- and not by faith ALONE’.

The argument from Rome was Faith played THE major role in justification- but was not sufficient by itself- there had to be righteous works eventually associated with it in order for God to say ‘you are just’ [saved].

Luther disagreed and said God justified Abraham before he had good works- we find this in Genesis 15. God says to Abraham ‘look- count all the stars- so shall your offspring be’ and Walla- the bible also says Abraham was justified in God’s eyes the moment he believed the promise.

Who’s right?

Actually they both are.

I have taught this a few times over the years- and it would take too much time to re-do right now.

But I believe James and Paul [the 2 who debate this in the bible] are simply looking at different aspects of salvation/justification.

Paul emphasized faith- and James showed us how true faith always has works with it.

When you read the statements that came out from the council of Trent- some of them do seem to indicate that both sides might have been talking past each other at some points.

In the heat of the day they were too quick to condemn the other side- without really trying hard to achieve unity [like politics!].

The 6th session of Trent was the one where the church dealt with justification [how we become saved in Gods sight].

Rome made a distinction between mortal and Venial sin in the council- the church said that Baptism is the INSTRUMENTAL CAUSE of justification. Yet faith is the Root- Foundation and Initial act that justifies.

Rome also taught that Mortal sin kills the grace in the soul that brings justification- and when a person commits a mortal sin- they need the ‘2nd plank of justification’ in order to be brought back into a state of Grace.

This 2nd Plank is the Sacrament of Penance [confession]. Catholic Moral Theologians use an example to show the difference between Mortal and Venial sin.

Drinking- if you take a drink [alcohol] not a sin. If you get tipsy- Venial- and if you get flat drunk- mortal.

This is a true teaching by the way- not making this up.

Catholic scholars are not in total agreement on all the Mortal/Venial sins.

Some teach that missing Mass on Sunday is a Mortal sin.

I just threw this in to show you the debates that take place.

The teachings from Trent are referred to as Tridentine.

The Protestants [early on] rejected the belief that a person can lose Gods grace once he has it- later on the Protestants would divide- severely- over this teaching- Predestination and the Perseverance of the Saints.

But early on all the major Reformers did indeed teach this.

Luther believed in the doctrine of Predestination just as much- if not more- than John Calvin.

But sometimes in these history shows they get this wrong and say Luther and Calvin disagreed on it- that’s a common mistake that you hear every so often.

Luther actually wrote a book dedicated to the subject [The Bondage of the Will] Calvin never wrote a book solely on the subject.

Okay- as we end this brief study of the Protestant Reformation- you could also call it a primer on Catholic doctrine [short one].

Why is it important that we study this?

In John chapter 17 Jesus said that he desired unity for all of Gods people- and many of these divisions- which date back 500 years- are commonly misunderstood on both sides.

It is common in our day to run across an ex Catholic who might say ‘you know- I left the church because I don’t believe I need to confess to a priest’ or ‘the Catholic church teaches you are saved by works’.

The original Reformers did not have a problem with confession- the Lutherans carried the practice over into their communion.

And like I just showed you- the Catholic church rejected the doctrine of being saved ‘by works’ [Pelagianism] and simply emphasized the teaching found in the bible- the book of James- and focused more on James than Paul [who the protestants focus on].

So yes- there are still differences- but if we are not informed- then it makes it harder to strive for unity- and at the end of the day God does desire unity for all his people.

The other day I quoted the great Civil rights leader- MLK. In one of his famous speeches that’s played when we celebrate his life- you hear Martin say that not only was he seeking unity among the races- but also in the church.

He said he wanted to see Catholics and Protestants- as well as Blacks and Whites- sit down together- he referred to us all as Gods kids.

I think we should strive to achieve the desire of Martin- and Jesus.

Amen.

[parts] NOTE 3- Augustine.

I personally am a fan of Saint Augustine. He is one of the famous church fathers of the early centuries.

In my view he holds a distinct place- he is admired by both staunch Protestants [Reformed Theologians]- and Catholics.

Why?

The original Protestant Reformation of the 16th century had 3 key figures.

Martin Luther [Germany]- Ulrich Zwingli [Swiss] and John Calvin [studied for the priesthood in Paris- later took a key role in Geneva Switzerland].

One of the key beliefs- of at least 2 of these 3- was the doctrine mentioned above- Predestination.

It is a common mistake in our day to see historical documentaries [I have seen some] that refer to Calvin as someone who believed in Predestination [true] and that Luther disagreed with him.

That’s wrong [but you have to study theology to find this out- a brief reading of church history does not show you this- that’s why some of the well meaning documentaries you might see on the History channel get this wrong].

Okay- Martin Luther was a Catholic Monk- under an order called the Augustinian order- named after St. Augustine.

See?

Even though he would break away from the church- and the Lutheran church would form- yet he held to the original belief that the founder/namesake of his order taught.

Now- you do indeed find many verses in the bible that speak about God choosing us- and not us ‘choosing him’.

Or chapters [Romans 9] that say Gods choice of us has nothing to do with our own goodness- but he chose us because he loved us.

So- this teaching does indeed have scriptural backing.

But- you also have scripture to back up the opposing view- which is referred to as Arminianism.

Named after another church leader- Jacob Arminius.

He held to the Calvinist view at first- but as he began studying- to defend this view- he came to the belief that this view [at least among its more radical adherents] was wrong.

These 2 groups- Calvinists- Armenians- became enemies as the Protestant Reformation grew.

The followers of men like John Wesley [founder of the Methodist church] disagreed strongly with those who held to the Calvinist view.

In our day- you still have adherents of both views- seeing the ‘other side’ as non Christian.

It’s sad- but this is just one- of thousands of teachings- that have had this effect.

The Catholic leaders warned of this at the time of the breakaway- which took place in the 16th century.

They feared that once you made a clean break from the historic church- that the ‘breaking’ would never stop.

As you look at the scene over the past 500 years- it’s hard to say they were wrong.

One last note- many modern Protestants do not hold Augustine- or any of the men mentioned above- in high regard at all.

Some hold to a belief [another popular one in groups that are Restorationist- as opposed to Reformist] that all of the early Christian expressions got off course [apostatized] and that the only ‘true’ church- just happens to be the group they are in.

Once again- this type of belief simply increases the division in the church- in my view.

Many reject men like Augustine- because of his influence by the Greek philosophers- they charge that some of the early church leaders were too much into philosophy.

For instance- one of the first Christian schools ever founded was in Alexandria- Egypt.

In the 2nd/3rd century Origen- an early church father- would take over the school and teach Christian theology.

But- the school was basically a school that first taught Greek philosophy.

Origen is respected by many [like me] but officially the church does not recognize him as a legitimate Church farther.

Why?

Because he did indeed hold to some views that were not Christian based- like the pre- existence of the soul.

This belief comes straight from Greek philosophy- not Christianity.

He also believed in what we refer to as Universalism- that at the end- everyone gets saved- even the Devil!

So- this debate has gone on for centuries- the debate over how ‘Platonic’ so and so is- or did men like Thomas Aquinas [ 13th century- another favorite of mine] simply mix Aristotelian thought [Aristotle] in with Christian teaching- and thus water down the true faith.

This is also the reason many [most] Protestants do not teach Philosophy- as a basic plank- in their seminaries.

I think this is a big mistake.

Philosophy- as a field- deals with the basic issues of life.

Why are we hear- what’s the purpose of mans existence- etc.

For the Protestant church to have basically abandoned this field- this left the secular world to shape it as they wish.

But- the Catholic Church has indeed engaged in this field- and in my view- has presented a better world view- than the secular philosophers.

Okay- now this post is becoming an entire study!

That’s it for now- I have lots of posts like this on the blog- if you want- just look them up there. [The above comes from my study on the Protestant Reformation- here’s the complete study- https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/protestant-reformation-luther/ ] [parts]

GW BRIDGE- https://youtu.be/70CVdZxFIMg GW bridge ON VIDEO- .Foundation stones .Why Bishops? .Gnostics and Docetism .Dads boat .GOV Christie and hot dogs .Restore the paths .Isaiah and John .Memories of a kid- train tunnel .Robert Moses to blame? .Mayor LaGuardia .The argument for Rome .Church fathers .Mystics .Suicide signs .Apostolic succession .What church is the ‘true church’? .Most amazing intellectual discourse ever? Only if you don’t hear [have to watch to get it- sorry] .Bedrock .I am homeless- can you spare a 5? VERSES- Galatians 2:1 Then fourteen years after I went up again to Jerusalem with Barnabas, and took Titus with me also. Galatians 2:2 And I went up by revelation, and communicated unto them that gospel which I preach among the Gentiles, but privately to them which were of reputation, lest by any means I should run, or had run, in vain. Galatians 2:3 But neither Titus, who was with me, being a Greek, was compelled to be circumcised: Galatians 2:4 And that because of false brethren unawares brought in, who came in privily to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, that they might bring us into bondage: Galatians 2:5 To whom we gave place by subjection, no, not for an hour; that the truth of the gospel might continue with you. Galatians 2:6 But of these who seemed to be somewhat, (whatsoever they were, it maketh no matter to me: God accepteth no man’s person:) for they who seemed to be somewhat in conference added nothing to me: Galatians 2:7 But contrariwise, when they saw that the gospel of the uncircumcision was committed unto me, as the gospel of the circumcision was unto Peter; Galatians 2:8 (For he that wrought effectually in Peter to the apostleship of the circumcision, the same was mighty in me toward the Gentiles:) Galatians 2:9 And when James, Cephas, and John, who seemed to be pillars, perceived the grace that was given unto me, they gave to me and Barnabas the right hands of fellowship; that we should go unto the heathen, and they unto the circumcision. Galatians 2:10 Only they would that we should remember the poor; the same which I also was forward to do. Galatians 2:11 But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed. Galatians 2:12 For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision. Galatians 2:13 And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation. Galatians 2:14 But when I saw that they walked not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel, I said unto Peter before them all, If thou, being a Jew, livest after the manner of Gentiles, and not as do the Jews, why compellest thou the Gentiles to live as do the Jews? Galatians 2:15 We who are Jews by nature, and not sinners of the Gentiles, Galatians 2:16 Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified. Galatians 2:17 But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is therefore Christ the minister of sin? God forbid. Galatians 2:18 For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. Galatians 2:19 For I through the law am dead to the law, that I might live unto God. Galatians 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: neverthless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:21 I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain. Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Ephesians 2:9 Not of works, lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. John 5:25 Verily, verily, I say unto you, The hour is coming, and now is, when the dead shall hear the voice of the Sonof God: and they that hear shall live. In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations Genesis 2:7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. In Context | Full Chapter | Other Translations 1 Corinthians 15:45 And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit. 5 Then the Pharisees and scribes asked him, Why walk not thy disciples according to the tradition of the elders, but eat bread with unwashen hands? 6 He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. 7 Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. 8 For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do. 9 And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition. 10 For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death: 11 But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free. 12 And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother; 13 Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye. 14 And when he had called all the people unto him, he said unto them, Hearken unto me every one of you, and understand: 15 There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him: but the things which come out of him, those are they that defile the man. 16 If any man have ears to hear, let him hear. 17 And when he was entered into the house from the people, his disciples asked him concerning the parable. 18 And he saith unto them, Are ye so without understanding also? Do ye not perceive, that whatsoever thing from without entereth into the man, it cannot defile him; 19 Because it entereth not into his heart, but into the belly, and goeth out into the draught, purging all meats? 20 And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man. 21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, 22 Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: 23 All these evil things come from within, and defile the man. Mark 7

http://www.corpuschristioutreachministries.blogspot.com https://www.facebook.com/john.chiarello.5?ref=bookmarks https://ccoutreach87.wordpress.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZ4GsqTEVWRm0HxQTLsifvg https://twitter.com/ccoutreach87 https://plus.google.com/108013627259688810902/posts https://vimeo.com/user37400385 john chiarelloFollow On https://www.linkedin.com/home?trk=hb_logo http://johnchiarello.tumblr.com/ http://johnchiarello.thoughts.com/

Note- Please do me a favor, those who read/like the posts- re-post them on other sites as well as the site you read them on- Thanks- John.#

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Sunday sermon 3-24-19

Galatians 1

Ephesians 3

[slythian]

I know their are people out their who wonder what its like to know what someone in certain situations think and maybe this can in someway help someone else out there someday so if you see my post please share it so it spreads out there so people can see it and hopefully learn something from the pain I go through.sorry about any terrible grammar I’ll try my best but i suck at that…I’m going to put what my are issues out their that led me to being the way I am today and share my thought on my depression and suicidal tendencies.I know two of my closest friends will see this either stop here and skip this post all together or continue to read it past here to know some of my thoughts and y'all may know parts and you may not know other parts.this is to help share my mind and my issues where even of I end up failing to continue my fight that most days I feel like I will fail at maybe this post could help others out their or give others perspective to learn from where I failed to.I know I’m putting this in place where I know my family can’t see it though and that is for my peace of mind on purpose.I know theirs alot of people on here and a lot of people do go here for fun art or sharing/try to deal with their problems maybe someone will be able to learn from where i can’t and truly find a way to continue their lives……I have what most people would consider a great life over all.I have a roof over my head,food on the table ,even family and friends that love the hell out of me,I even have a job where I make money to do things I wanna do even with paying bills.I grew up with a loving family that tought me to care with all my heart and treat everyone you can with the best respect you can manage. to live life with your heart and care about everyone. This resulted in me growing up a sarcastic dick head of a friend that most people love to have around in their lives.But I’m one of the most caring persons I know which when u care as much as I do about everyone that can lead to many issues and problems and caring as much as I do has led to many of the problems I plan to talk about here in a few. Since I love and care about people as much as i do this has the unfortunate side effect that when people have messed you over so bad you stop caring completely and or hate them someone can’t come back from that with me normally.most of my life was great and yah I didn’t really have a lot of issues surfacing and any I did just stayed buried to where they didnt effect me to much but growing up a.d.h.d. and a.d.d. and being told your bipolar always taking meds for it all kinda sucks.especially since meds never helped any growing up so always taking them kinda shurked me away from medication. I had to find the things that could help with these things and for me this things I was able to get lost in was art and drawing,music, video games,and the biggest one that always was my favorite thing above all else reading fictional books and stories with things like magic,dragons, faries ect. For me these were the escapes to help me deal with the disorders I was diagnosed with at an early age.my mom and dad were never married and wernt together really after I was born as I was born through them breaking up ironically so kinda a mistake to begin with.but both my parents didn’t live together but have always been in my life and as a kid I loved and lived with my mom and worshipped the ground my father walked on. Now I have three siblings one middle older brother on my dads side we share different moms and my oldest brother and younger sister on my moms side we all share different dads.I lived with my sibling on my moms side and barley saw my brother on my dads side.my dad tried to act like a father to me and my siblings on my moms side which growing up I have kinda realized that my father never really cared about me as much and the kids that aren’t his as he wouldnt pick me up for custody appointed times if he didnt get the other kids which is where of my problems began when I was younger always seems like noone cared about me when it really mattered and always chose other people over me including the father who I worshipped and cared about more then anything as a young child.only people I have always had that never doubted they cared about me even till an adult was my mom and my siblings looking back until these last few years.so I had the issues when younger of disorders I couldnt do much about and a father who didn’t really care about me.now wish those were all the problems I had to deal with.I was born in 1995 and until 2010 you could say my life was great overal compared to what followed but when I was really young my mom dated a guy that ended up creating my sister but was an abusive prick so had that to deal with till he went to jail few years after my sister was born in 1998 other then that was great till I was 15. so when I was 15 years old I decided I wanted do be an idiot and have the father I always worshipped go for custody of me to try and make my relationship better with everyone I currently lived with at my moms better bc during the time period of living with her she married my step dad and all which was great to an extent but always fighting with sibling step dad and mom got old I cared about them so much and hoped by moving out that things would get better.things did and didn’t bc my dad going for custody of me which was my decision even though he wanted it to I asked him to do so.things that went bad for this decision was my mom went back to stripping to help pay bills at the time for losing money to pay on the house we lived in that was going to trying to fight me moving in with my dad since my mom knew my dad was a piece of crap while I had no idea.which when she was driving after wards one night of stripping got into a wreck that crippled her for the rest of her life.I always feel responsible for her wreck and her death that followed a few hears later bc it all extended from a choice I made even if they made their owe choices to.its something I’ve always partially felt responsible for and feeling responsible for the death of your own mother takes a toll after awhile too.but she was crippled in the sense of everything from the neck down she couldnt use right and she couldnt live and survive on her own after that.I went to live with my dad seeing her for custody appointed times after that.for the following three years thats how my life went….going to school living with my dad and seeing my mom on weekends after a decision I made costed her most of her life after that point ever being the same.I know that its not entirely my fault but still always have felt I share some blame for it all too.my dad actually turned out to be the kind of dad whose their your entire life but really doesnt care about you at all just what he gets out of the equation of you being alive and me living with him meant he didnt pay child support anymore.I learned what type of person he was those following three years.my middle brother whose older then me lived with us for awhile till my father put his hands on him and that’s not okay after what I had gone through when I was younger.two of my biggest pet peeves in this world is never cheat on a person and never lay your hands on a women or children both are destructive as hell one is physical abuse and the other is more mental abuse but both can fuck you up so much more then almost anything else.this was when I started learning who my father really was and things got worse after that.. my father ended up stopping me from seeing my mom for weeks at a time when she was sapposed to have me for weekends and stuff which costed me alot of time with her the last few month of her life in 2013.my mom ended up passing away right before I turned 18 and graduated high school bc of complications from a nursing home she was in at this point.after losing time with my mom I moved out of my dads.at the point we had her funeral I learned that she had tried to kill herself twice few months before she passed away and had written me and her other two kids suicide notes and to this day I carry the note I was written by my mom in my wallet everywhere I go.this was my second time facing these types of situations as when I was young family friend commited suicide.so at first my main perspective on suicide was the same as most people out their. That suicide is idoitic,selfish,a cowards way out,a way to hurt those around you,a lot of wrong opinions.when I found out my mom had tried to do so my maine opinions were even though I missed her even if she had done so I couldnt bla.e her for the way her life was at that point I had a different view on suicide which had changed my earlier views on it all to thinking sometimes people dont see another way out all you can do is accept that they did what they decided to do.since then when my mom died my world was turned to he’ll since then my life to me has slowly gotten worse and worse for the last 5 years to now 2018. I had lived with my step dad and sister afyer moving out of my dads and at a certain point in time everything with my mom just started destroying me along with the loss of my grandmother I lost 3 months before my mom.my biggest fear I have learned are loosing the people closest to me to death. It absolutely destroyed me and I havnt been able to heal from any of them can’t deal with pain a big part of how much I care adds to the fact that the loss on the end side is so extreme I cant handle it.so in 2013 I had lost both my grandmother and my mom.fast forward to half way through 2017 I ended up looking both my grandfathers to cancer which messed me up a lot more then I was already while never being able to deal with the previous losses.I ended up being to messed up to deal with life itself I didn’t even know what was happening to me at all to begin with except I was fucked up in the head and wasnt able to feel anything but pain anymore after dealing with everything I have including being abondened at the time by some of the people that meant the most to me since at the time my brothers and sisters wernt talking to me and my step dad had left me to live in his house by himself and my sister went to live with our older brother I had felt abandoned by every one I cared about.it turns out that I have depression and anxiety just having been diagnosed with it recently along with being suicidal when I tried to kill myself by downing a bottle of pills a year ago.I had really good friends ive fucked up everything I used to have with and others I barley saved a friendship with.even if they probably are better of in the end without me around from my point of view.I just dont see why people decide to deal with me a depressive and suicidal problematic person even if they decide to stupidly care. it turns out that depression and anxiety effect everything within your mind from how things effect you to how your brain can interpret things and makes your brain tell you lies like noone cares about you when clearly people do but you can’t run from whats in your own mind so you start to believe the lies that your own mind is telling you.you start to believe that the only escape from the pain is to end your life especially when nothing makes you happy anymore and everything in you life you used to enjoy you can’t enjoy anymore.nothing seems to have any impact but to make you miserable. Your brains tricks you and a lot of people can get help with this.you can talk to people wether a professional or just friends and family..try taking pills that are prescribed by a doctor for depression or anxiety and sometimes that can help for some people like me no matter what I have done nothing does any good for me it has no impact for me.the thing that sucks the most is the day I gave up on life and decides to commit suicide I failed which meant I had to live with the consequences of my actions including the suicide notes I left to friends and family in some cases I almost lost friendships bc of decisions I made and words I put in those letters and thankfully I still have that person in my life but I almost ended that by being stubborn and stupid for feeling things and not keeping it to myself.their are some things though no matter what you do you can't get rid of feeling things for certain people you either learn to live with it being their or hid it from the people who dont want to know its there at all.that's what I deal with now for three people who have mattered the most to me in a different way then everyone else.the biggest thing I have to live with as long as I still do live is the fact the day I decided to kill myself I gave up being their for my younger sister which destroyed her and I have to now deal with the pain I caused the people I love by being me.I always no matyer what others tell me feel like I’m a problem in everyone’s lifes and in the end just hurt the people I care about.but the sad thing is it has been true but the people that care about me have still tried to be their for me even though I think in the end its just a waste of time for those who care about me bc I feel like in the end I’m just going to keep failing everyone around me.the people who love you and are around will tell you your not a failure and you won’t fail.I won’t tell you this since it may not help.the thing from someone in the headset of being exactly here is you may feel the same way I do try your best to find a reason to live for be it a person a hobby an animal if these things work for you find what helps.my problem is nothing helps me even in my situation I’m still fighting to try that’s all anyone can ask for even if you fail in the end you at least tried don’t let anyone make you feel bad for trying to fight.that’s all I will promise anyone anymore not that I wont fail but that I will do my best even if its not good enough in the end.I care and love everyone in my life but the problem is the pain is great and in most cases to much for me to handle pain from withing your own mind is a pain that’s different then any other kind I will always try and I hope everyone out there will try their best but everyones best is of different levels so is everyone’s ability to deal with levels of pain. I try evsrything I used to enjoy and even tried new things nothing really works hopefully I will find something that does something for me but I’m not really sure its possible to be fixed when you are to broken to heal but who knows either one day ill find a way or ill be gone either way that’s life just try to fight to survive no matter who you are out their that’s all I ask from someone who is their themselves is to try.its not selfish to fail but its selfish not to try at all. I dont know if this will ever help someone else but its a chance it will this is my story and I’m still living it at this moment in time. ✌😸✌September 17 2018

[awesome-legendarystudentcho-blog]

For my car insurance I have full coverage. Have a $500 deductible to fix a broken window. Is that normal?

"For my car insurance I have full coverage. Have a $500 deductible to fix a broken window. Is that normal?

A rock hit my window while I was driving and i have a $500 deductible to fix it. I wanted to see was that really high or normal? I have full coverage. I just want to see how this insurance compares to others. $500 deductible just seemed a bit high.   Thanks!

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Insurance Quotes?

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What are the prospects of providing more Californians with health insurance in the future?

Considering we are producing more and more people without health insurance than other states, despite the fact that we paying the highest state taxes""

Is the nissan 240sx considered a sportscar when dealing with insurrance?

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Motorcycle insurance question?

Hey, I dropped my motorcycle on the right side yesterday during a turn. It's a 2009 Kawasaki Ninja 250r. Two pieces of fairing were damaged pretty badly (right side and front piece). I just got insurance the day of the drop (before dropping it). Will insurance cover the damage? Also is it even worth getting them involved? I already have very very high insurance ($400 a month for a Honda Odyssey) due to previous car accident. I don't want to get any more things on my record. Will my insurance go up if I call them? The replacement fairings will cost me $560 out my pocket. I have a $250 deductible on the bike. So I would save about $300. Is it worth it?""

Would I be able to afford this car and car insurance?

I make $1200 a month. I currently pay $400.00 rent and $70.00 for my phone. I'm looking at a car that would cost me 180.00 a month plus 100-120 in car insurance. Plus groceries. 130 a month. I'm just worried I wouldn't be able to afford this but I really need a car. What if I move out and rent goes up? I'm a stressful person and stress about everything before I commit.I also have a dog to take care of. What do you guys think? Would I be able to afford It or would I be way to close to barely living?

Need help on car insurance for young driver?

Hi! I've been struggling to get a good quote for car insurance for a while now. I tried all the big name comparison sites and every one is quoting me 4k (monthly installments). I opted for third party and theft, i am 22 years of age and my postcode starts with sl1 (slough) and i got pass plus and had my licence (manual) since march 2011. I got my car already its a Peugeot 206 1.6l petrol manual 1999 3doors. If you have time you can try for yourself with the above details the quote is freaking too much. Is this just how it is or am i doing something wrong? If you can point me to the right direction that would be amazing!!""

""In Maryland, is insurance required to drive a car?""

I'm going to be living on my own soon and there's no possible way I can afford it on my own. By the way, does anyone know how much it costs to be insured as an 18 year old on your own policy? What about for a motorcycle?""

""What do i do if i need to see a doctor, but dont have insurance?

i need to see a doctor but dont have any money to pay off future bills. what can i do? i live in nh. are there temporary insurances that are affordable? should i just go and not pay whatever bills they send? will i get denied if i have no insurance or any means of paying the medical bills?

Have you ever gotten a car insurance quote online in Illinois?

how easy was it to get the quote? was the process confusing at all? Did the site explain what coverages you needed and why you needed them?

I'm looking for a car insurance in Michigan that's cheap?

All i need is a cheap plpd auto insurance. My car is not worth much and I'm not going to spend a lot on car insurance for it. All I want is for the other driver to be fine. If you know of any cheap auto insurances let me know.

""After i register my car how much time do i have to get insurance, while still driving?""

I just registered it today and i was wondering if i can drive it around, till i get insurance this weekend. Im in MN.""

Best renters insurance in california?

Best renters insurance in california?

For my car insurance I have full coverage. Have a $500 deductible to fix a broken window. Is that normal?

A rock hit my window while I was driving and i have a $500 deductible to fix it. I wanted to see was that really high or normal? I have full coverage. I just want to see how this insurance compares to others. $500 deductible just seemed a bit high.   Thanks!

Life insurance for police officers?

Can police officers get extended life insurance to cover death on the job? If so, how much - 5 million?""

Daily car insurance for a 18 year old?

Hi, I don't really know where to look, but my friend said that it is possible to get daily insurance for my age... I guess the question is where can I get daily insurance that allow 18+ If it helps, the car is a bmw 5 series m sport.""

What is no claims discount in car insurance?

What is no claims discount in car insurance?

What is the best teen driver insurance in California?

Taking driving test tomorrow and need insurance coverage for just me, 18 years old.""

Will my parents car insurance go up if they co sign for me?

I have my own car and need car insurance but I need my parents to co sign for me. I'm getting a different insurance company from what my parents have on a different everything. Will them co signing for my insurance affect their insurance with anything? Like will their insurance go up because they co sign for me? Or if I get a ticket or in a wreck will it raise their insurance costs? We live in the USA.

How much will my Car insurance go up?

I hit a car in Los Angeles and I have State Farm. The guy I hit drives a range rover and all I did was scratch his driver's side door. The body shop wants $1200 to repaint the door, which I think is insane. I would pay cash, but $1200 is a lot of money. Does State Farm have accident forgiveness, or will my premium go up if I claim this on my insurance?""

""525i First car, how much insurance?""

Hey, Im currently trying to get my driving lisence and I was thinking of buying a BMW 525i 1995 model as my first car, how much will the insurance cost approximatly? i know it will be expensive, but how expensive?""

What is better and cheaper for Auto Insurance in BC vs. Alberta?

I'm purchasing a new car, and i'm currently in British Columbia, i have two residences, one in BC and one in Alberta as i go to school in Alberta. I'm wondering what should i do with insurance would it be better to insure it under BC or Alberta?""

Motorcycle Insurance?

I am looking at a red 2007 Honda Shadow VLX. I'm a 21 year old female, I'm on State Farm with my car, living in Lake Charles, which is probably one of the bigger cities in Southwest Louisiana. Just wondering what average cost might be to insure this bike. Like, minimum or if it's totaled. I only have one speeding ticket from a year ago on my record I believe. Thanks!""

Help with life insurance?

Term insurance is recommended over whole life insurance for most people. If you, too, choose term insurance, how might you then provide a long-term savings for yourself since term insurance has no savings plan?""

Regarding Health Insurance?

If I leave my employer and I have a health insurance from united healthcare for myself + my spouse. WIll it be possible that I can continue getting the insurance coverage......If Yes, how much more would I have to pay then?""

Is it necessary to buy Rental Car Insurance even though i have my car insurance policy with me?

I have a car and have taken Auto insurance for it. Now my question is if i take a rental car, then my auto insurance policy for my car covers it or i need to take separate insurance for the rental car? When i took the auto insurance policy, they have taken my car details and its present in the insurance card also. If i need to take insurance for rental car, what type of insurance do i need to take excluding my auto insurance policy coverage that applies to all cars? Also if i am driving someone else car, will my insurance cover if there is any accident i have made?""

Cheapest Car insurance in New Jersey?

Looking for cheap car insurance companies in New Jersey.

17 Year Old Insurance Question..?

What would be the average cost to insure any type of vehicle to a 17 year old foreign male (has no SSN, on a special permit VISA to live in the states)? I have around 12k to spend on the car, so i was looking at a few cars and the 2002 Audi TT (225hp, 6 speed M/T, 2-door sports coupe) seems to be the best car i can get with that money. Now ofcourse, i don't know what the fees are going to be like and it doesn't help that im a foreign student living here because my dad moved here, don't have a SSN/greencard etc (i have a special permit VISA for residence). will this impact my insurance a lot since im not a citizen of the U.S.? and so..how much would it really cost to insure an Audi TT as a 17 year old, honor role student who will complete the driver safety course, have same insurance as family policy, most likely be accident free (for state farm insurance) and have completed the steer clear driver's discount program? and some other general questions, what would be the difference in insurance premiums if instead i chose a 4-door sedan like a Honda Civic (2005)? I tried getting quotes from State Farm (said i was 18 instead), they got me at hte basic plan for $350/month for 2002 Audi TT and $375/month for a Civic 2005. Anyways to reduce that (those prices were with most discounts except the family plan)?""

Any suggestions on best Health Insurance for a diabetic?

My son is in his late twenties, without health insurance and was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes, requiring him to take insulin daily. We are trying to help him with this financially, and bills are enormous. Any ideas on what might be the best health insurance plan for him? Thanks in advance for any suggestions.""

Can I have Medicaid Share of Cost and private health insurance?

I was approved for Medicaid in FL with a Share of Cost of $425. Can I also buy private health insurance with medicaid?

State Disability Insurance in California?

I was laid off in December (company went under) and in March I got pregnant. I have not found a permanent job and at this point am not going to try - who's going to hire a pregnant woman, right? I am receiving unemployment which will be running out in a few weeks and I'm thinking about working for a temp agency until the baby is born to bring in some money. Does anyone know if I am working temp can I collect State Disability Insurance once the doctor tells me no more working? I'm really pissed...worked all those years and now I may not be able to collect through no fault of my own. Any help is appreciated. I think if I'm not working at all I can't collect but not sure. Thanks.""

How to change Car ownership for insurance?

I just bought used car yesterday(paid completely with cash). In order to add it own to my fathers insurance does the car need to be in his name and if so how do I go about doing it. the car is currently in my name and is it even legal for me to be driving it right now? I remember my uncle telling me something that you are automaticly covered when you first buy a viehicle!

Question about insurance?

Hi. Why car insurance is cheaper for: policy holder with driving licence held for 1 month and additional driver with provisional licence held for 3 months than: only a policy holder with driving licence held for 1 month ?? could someone explain me why is that ?

Mandated Health Insurance is different from Mandated Auto Insurance how?

The Supreme Court will be deciding if the government can force us to buy health insurance from a private corporation. The government forces us to buy auto liability insurance from a private corporation. I am at a loss to see the difference.

Can you get braces free if you have health insurance?

i want braces. can i get them free if i have health insurance

Motorcycle insurance rate estimation?

I want basic liability insurance for a lower cc Honda Phantom, 700 cc tops. I am a 21 year old male who committed a DUI 2.5 years ago and is now alcohol-free. For that reason, I feel ...show more""

How can i get lower car insurance for my newly passed girl friend ( UK )?

my girlfriend has just her driving test 2 weeks ago im getting her a car tomorrow, ive been checking through loads of insurance sites trying to find her the cheapest possible is there any tips and tricks what to enter on these sites they ask so many strange question, or should i insure the car than just add her as a named driver? or do you know off any cheap sites.""

How much does it usually costs for liability insurance on a car?

Buying a 1997 Ford F-150 2 door soon and wanting to know how much liability insurance is going to cost? just a Estimate is all Im looking for. :)

Whats the average price of car insurance for a teen with a 97 jet ta ?

Whats the average price of car insurance for a teen with a 97 jet ta ?

For my car insurance I have full coverage. Have a $500 deductible to fix a broken window. Is that normal?

A rock hit my window while I was driving and i have a $500 deductible to fix it. I wanted to see was that really high or normal? I have full coverage. I just want to see how this insurance compares to others. $500 deductible just seemed a bit high.   Thanks!

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-do-i-get-medical-insurance-jayden-weber/"

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Loretto Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 40037

"Loretto Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 40037

Loretto Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 40037

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Cheap on insurance motorcycles?

im looking for a sporty bike that wont kill me on insurance (only 22 yrs old). something that looks like a kawasaki ninja, or honda cbr. thanks""

How can i get temporary car insurance in the UK?

my brothers not going to be using his car for the next month and i want to know how i can get insurance cover for a few weeks or maybe a month. my brother in law got it on my dads car so he could use it for a while but im not sure how to go about it. can i do it through his insurance and how much roughly would it cost? thanks

""Car rental insurance, please help!?""

Hello everyone, I am really confused and need your help, please. I rented a car from Avis in Calgary, Alberta and drove to Vancouver, BC. I got involved in an accident that although my car was not damaged, but I think I am considered cause of the accident (two cars were badly damaged). I did not ask for any insurance of the rental car. My understanding was that the third party liability is covered by my own car insurance. However, someone called me earlier from my car insurance company(state farm) saying that they are not responsible. Today the rental car company has called and left me a message asking me to call them. I do not know what should I prepare myself for? Am I going to be charged to pay for all the damage? That'd be terrible. Please provide me with any information you have. I don't know what to do.""

""I am in the militarty and moved to another state, can I have my car insurance from my home state?

I am a resident of and my vehicle is registered in South Carolina and I am stationed in California. California's insurance is way higher than SCs. I would like to carry insurance from SC on my vehicle.

Buying Insurances with a G1 licenses in Ontario.?

I recently just bought a car. Its registered to me. Although it does not have any insurances right now. I have my G1, but I want to insure this car now, so I can drive it. (obviously with a licensed driver). I think I read that I can purchase insurances as a G1 driver, and just list someone else as the primary driver, until I get my G2. Does anyone know how expensive this might be? If I had my G2, the lowest insurance quote for my car I could find is about $450 a month. However, since I will be listing someone else as a primary driver, like my dad, would the price be significantly cheaper?""

How much is car insurance for a 2009 Benz C300?

I'm 27 years old. I live in the Bronx, New York. I have good credit. TransUnion: 765 Experian: 764 Equifax: 734 I want to financial or lease (I'm not exactly sure what the difference is. Do I still have to get full coverage regardless of which I choose?) a 2009 Benz C300. It's valued at about $30,000. I live in an apartment with my father who has a 2001 Pontiac Montana. He pays about $150-$200 per month in insurance. I tried to find out how much it would cost on Geico and they called me and told me it was gonna be $150 for the first month and $140 for the next seven months. I thought there must have been some mistake because how could it cost the same for a new car and raggedy car? The guy was like, Well, looks like we can get you a great price . Is this a ploy to get me to switch insurance companies and then they'll charge me higher rate after the first year or something? I think they must have thought I already own the car outright and didn't know I was planning on financing it. Or is it because we will have two cars from the same household an we'll get a multi-car discount. I know this was true when my brother had a car on the same policy with my dad and they got a discount, but they lived at separate places. Me and dad live together, so I think they won't even allow me to get insurance. Someone please tell if this is true or not. My friend, who thinks she knows it all, said its a scam and they will charge me alot more as soon as I sign up. But believe me she's just jealous cuz she's high class and I live in the Bronx and she makes way more than me and doesn't have a Benz. So, she is definitely just assuming. If you know for sure let me know you know or that you think that's what will happen. I assumed the insurance would be $400 - $450 per month. Also, if anyone has some idea what the financing per month with credit like mines on a car like this would be, that would also be appreciated. I have never been any serious car accidents, had a DUI or DWI. I hope someone has experience with financing a nice car and insuring, so I can get at least a ball park estimate on how much I will expect to be paying. Thanks for the help!""

Driving with no insurance in Florida...?

I have a question about driving without insurance in the state of Florida. I am a 20 year old college student that cannot afford $483.00 a month in car insurance. If I cancel my insurance and drive without insurance and get in an accident that is the other persons fault, what is the worst that could happen to me? Can they sue me for all I have? If so, what if I have nothing besides the car that is on a loan for $17,000. -If they don't rip us off with the gas prices, they'll be certain to get us with the insurance.""

Anyone have an idea about Car Insurance Rates?

Anyone have an idea of car insurance rates in Texas on a camaro for a 16 year old female beginner driver??

Car insurance ? Can my girlfriend be a policy holder on one car and named driver on another?

Can my girlfriend be a policy holder and main driver on her car and a named driver on mine? Will this affect her insurance in anyway?

How much is car insurance for a teenager?

If the teenager is added to the parents policy, how much more will it cost the parent? Info: I have a good gpa, I will take drivers ed, my mom has a new car and its safe, and I have just turned 16.""

Which are the cheapest car to insurance in Canada?

Hello: Planing to buy a car, but I will considered a car that is cheaper to insure, any suggestion? Thank you in advanced""

Does anyone know how much insurance would be for a 18 year old male and the car is a 1985 volvo?

1985 volvo 240 dl auto 4cyl. gray exterior and dark blue interior, 4dr""

Maternity related services considered inpatient for insurance?

Most individual plans (87%) do not offer maternity coverage. I was fortunate enough to still be covered under an old employer by paying COBRA, and a majority of my expenses were covered. I had twins and had to have a C-Section. So now that I know I'm most likely to have a C-Section again, and who knows, another set of twins! (complete surprise) and am still of child bearing age. I am now under an individual plan, that does not offer maternity coverage. I was reading under the 'Inpatient' services and it listed this: Unlimited coverage is provided for medically necessary physician and surgeon services, semi-private rooms, operating rooms and related facilities, intensive and coronary care units, laboratory, x-rays, radiology services and procedures, medications and biologicals, anesthesia, special duty nursing as prescribed, short-term rehabilitation services, nursing care, meals and special diets So anyone who has experience or knowledge, would something like a C-Section be covered under inpatient? What does maternity coverage only cover normally. That $60*** bill scares me! Also, I keep reading about a new health care bill effective 2014 where individual plans must include maternity as an essential benefit. Anyone have any more details about that? State specific etc?""

Im 19 and look for a cheap car with some power but quotes below 900?

im 19 year old i got my full licence for 2 years now and im looking to buy a car a cheap second hand one any would be good to be honest just need it to be 1. big so people can fit in comfortably 2. reliable 3. good mpg 4. not ugly 5. 1 litre - 1.4litre 6. and ermm it must be a car nice to drive and can go on motorways without struggling thanks i was thinking about a vw polo or a vw golf but im not sure if they would be cheap on insurance thanks :)

How can I see a cheap doctor w/ no insurance?

I am 23 years old and I don't have insurance. My husband got a huge pay cut and we had to cancel it. We just can't afford it at the moment. However, I am having some serious issues and I really want to see a doctor badly. I am having horrible pains in my hands and the rest of my body and pitting edema in my legs. I don't want to rack up a huge emergency bill, but I can't afford $200 for a doctors visit. Is there ANYWHERE I can go to see a doctor for really cheap??? It's to the point where I can hardly use my hands to even type this and I am scared. Thanks..""

Owning a car? car insurance?

Hi, I'm 18 and im living by myself, how can I own a car? I'm in the search of buying a car but before that I need to know after I buy it what do I need to pay when I registrate it under my name. Also when I get insurance? How much do I pay?""

DReam asks Can i buy health insurance?

I am a dreamer & i see i dont qualify for obama care i got that but i want to know if i can buy health insurance from a company or something?? Im abt to work in a plant & they required health insurance...

Can my car insurance provider kick me out of grandparents house?

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Can auto insurance company refuse to cancel my policy?

I have gotten another auto insurance company due to the rudeness and refusal to switch my monthly draft to another bank. I had one bank and to close due to some suspicious activity that indicated signs of fraud. When I called to tell my insurance company about this the lady was very rude to me and made remarks about not wanting to my payments, I have been on time with every payment. She didn't believe me and told me she would wipe all other accounts that I had with that bank. I truly honestly had to close my account and she won't take the new account. I have already got my new insurance ready to go just need cancel my old insurance. Would I be mean if said I am canceling because someone was rude to me and made my ordeal a joke?""

Medical insurance?

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How much is the average insurance cost for a new driver?

Hi in 3 months, my daughter is getting her drivers license. I just want to know the average cost to insure my daughter. I have a great insurance company, but I am sure they would be too expensive for a new driver. My daughter has all A grades in high school, but I dont know any more information that would change the price. We have a Honda Minivan, so she would drive that, not a fancy sports car. Thanks!""

Renters insurance for apartments?

When renting an apartment at a complex or apartment building, is renters insurance always mandatory?""

Motorcycle insurance?

I live in Southern California, what insurance compnay can I contact that will provide really cheap motorcycle insurance. Some of the rates out there are unbelieveable""

Crowdsourced car insurance company? Would you join?

If I were to set-up a crowdsourced car insurance company would you be interested in joining? I appreciate how much money is required when starting a car insurance company but I seriously think that with a concentrated effort and a crowdsourced company then we could beat the large companies at there own game. The way I envisaged it working was that the idea attracts as many people as possible and each person pays a membership fee. In return for the fee the person gets a share in the company with certain voting rights. The share doesnt entitle you to free insurance, but seriously reduced in price. Insurance policies are only available to members, the main benefit being to keep insurance costs down people would hopefully be less likely to claim. When the company generates profits, those profits would go into a pot and at the end of the year the pot would be sent out to members in the form of dividends. Anyone interested?""

Loretto Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 40037

Loretto Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 40037

What is the cheapest car insurance for an 18 year old girl?

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Does anyone knows an affordable weight loss camp for a 20 years old?

I am desperate to lose weight and i need a healthy, but affordable way to do so in the Florida area OR new England""

Where can I get the cheapest motorcycle insurance with tickets?

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""Forgot to renew my car insurance, is my no claims bonus affected?

My insurance was due on 15th October but because km away at uni and the car is at home I completely forgot to renew it until today. If I decide to renew it now are there any consequences for paying it late? I would declare sorn but I don't know how it works and When I go home for christmas I do want to be able to drive. I've got 3 years no claims and my insurance has gone down a lot since I started to drive so will I lose it?

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My friend is 18 and goes to college and he has a Ford Mustang. I know its a sport car but is it good for it to be a first car?

Where can I find cheap car insurance in Philadelphia?

I know the auto insurance rates in Philly are expensive. Why is this and where do I go to find the best price?

Where can i get cheap car insurance for 20 year old?

hi, im 20 live in liverpool, just bought a ford fiesta flight 1.3 Y reg (2001) 1299cc were can i get insurance for no more than 3000 any tips on what to do aswell had my licence for 8 months""

Best car insurance for a teen?

Im 16 and will be getting my license soon but have to pay for my own insurance. I would like to know which insurance agency would be cheapest?

Is there any cheapish insurance for 19 year olds?

im looking for some cheap car insurance for my vw golf mk2 1.8 I was a named driver on my dads but now he cant insure me, ive been looking for either the little black boxes in or with out, so if any of you know please share.. cheers shane""

Car rental insurance? I have auto insurance and credit card insurance.?

Hi, I'm totally new to car rentals (having just turned 21 a few months ago). I'm planning on getting a car from Dollar Car Rentals. I have auto insurance via AAA and I know that if I use a major credit card, there's some coverage there as well. Am I required to purchase insurance through Dollar, or am I able to use my own? What about the credit card coverage? Thanks!""

Where can i get cheap auto insurance for an 18 year old student with a mustang?

Well this may sound like a long shot, but I just recently bought my son a Ford Mustang, Now its insurance time, hes 18, gets A's in school and has had drivers ed. Why do the quotes from Progressive and esurance estimate its going to cost nearly $500 a month, even with a 1990 honda junker it still cost nearly $400 do these prices seem reasonable, i cant recall them being that high, when i first got insurance, thanks.""

Car insurance write off?

Ok so wanting a slightly clearer answer for how exactly car insurance write offs work? I have a 92 Toyota lexcen market value on my policy is up to 2125, I have a damaged bonnet, bumper and headlight also my horn sounds really wrong now! Not sure if there's other damage, I was not at fault in the accident. Basically wondering how they decide whether to write it off or not and how much I could maybe expect to get back? Car was in decent condition low ks, although it's not the first accident it's been in""

Mistake on insurance- value of car?

recently i was involved in a car accident where another driver drove into the back of my car and since then it has been written off. the problem is i undervalued the car on my insurance by accident (as it was a present and was unsure of the true value) can i explain this to the insurance company and get the money paid for the car? or will i just get how much i said the car was worth? thanks

Small business insurance?

This is for hw, any info would be helpful I'm opening a salon in hollywood california. (5,000 square feet) How much would I pay in insurance a year? what kind of insurance would i need? Example: i think i would need product liability insurance, professional liability insurance, there are so many different kinds! Which one/ones should I use? and how much would it be? I've been googling and researching for a long time if you can help thank you!!""

Can I recoup money for the inconvience of borrowing relatives' cars while car insurance claim was processed?

A guy hit my car. I didn't get a police report, but I called his insurance company. His insurance company wouldn't pay for the damages or give me a rental car until they had a statement from the guy. The guy refused to talk to his insurance company for 2 weeks until I drove to his house and handed him my phone with his agent on the phone. I was afraid to get a rental before because I thought I would never get paid back. Can I tell his insurance company to pay for the average cost of a rental car for 2 weeks even though I never got a rental car?""

""I would like to get my insurance license in the state of CA, and I need to know how to start?""

I would like to get my insurance license in the state of CA, and I need to know how to start?""

Insurance costs for a teen in a mustang?

Hey there. I will be 16 soon, and I already have a car though, but not registered or applied for insurance or anything. Anyway, the car is a 1978 ford mustang, cherry red inside and out. I have driven a lot on roads and I'm confident about not wrecking it. I'm not one of those bad *** jocks you show off with their car, I just happen to have a mustang. anyway, anyone estimate the monthly insurance, we are with geico.""

Can car insurance limit your driving distance by gade?

My father wouldn't let me road trip to another state because my car insurance would only let me drive from here to school. Can car insurance limit the places you drive?

Does where you buy the car affects its insurance?

so im thinking about buying my first car, i know that the kind of car i buy will affect my insurance, but what if i buy the same car (lets say a porsche 911 turbo) in an auction or on craigslist (which would be significantly cheaper). would i have to pay the same price for my insurance or ould it be cheaper ...""

When will we start having to buy health insurance for this new law ?

I think it is bs. You can all say because you don't wanna pay for me but Obama has u all brainwashed. Most of us young guys dont need it and by me having to buy it IM PAYING FOR YOU! Think about there are lots of ppl who don't go to the hospital I havnt been there since I was born except shots and im 27. Why should have to pay I surance for the next 20 years I'm not gonna use it. Oh ya i have good credit and pay my bills. So why should I have to start paying yours? You ppl that already have it and use it r gonna get cheaper rates cus ppl like me who don't use it and pay for your sickness. And the ppl who don't have it the hospital Covers the bill. Well us healthy guys shouldn't have to pay your dang bills!!!

Buying a home in south caroline?

Just wanted to know if Conway is near the Myrtle beach airport and how far it is from the beach. How much is real estate tax for a home for about 100,000 to 200,000? Are there any marina's close to Conway? Is there a city wage tax on income? How much is car insurance? We live in philadelphia and are tired of the area and the high cost of living. Thanks, Jeanete jhrone@comcast.net""

""If my girlfriend crashes my car, does my insurance cover it?""

I am an insured driver and I believe my girlfriend is still insured on one of her parents cars, but we share my car currently and its not that I dont trust her, I don't trust other people. If an accident occurs while she is driving with my consent and she is a licensed driver (who is possibly insured on another vehicle) will my insurance cover? I have pretty good insurance as my car is finanaced and I was forced to get a few options I could have avoided if I bought an old junker. She has my car by herself for the day for the first time and I can't help but worry.""

""If I start paying my car insurance, and then change my name, would my dad find out?""

I'm almost 20 years old, I recently moved back in with my mother and my father gave me a car. As of now my father pays for the insurance, and the car is in his name. He also has a GPS installed in it. I'm going to be moving across the state this year, but will put the car in my name and pay for it's insurance beforehand. I will also finally be changing my name (first and last). I don't want him to know about my name change. Though they are public records, I know, would he be informed in any way by looking at any document to do with my car? Would insurance or anything contact him in any way if I pay for it?""

Health Insurance Vs No Health Insurance?

Joe is currently unemployed and without health insurance coverage. He derives utility (U) from his interest income on his savings (Y) according to the following function: U = 5(Y1/2) Joe presently makes about $40,000 of interest income per year. He realizes that there is about a 5 percent probability that he may suffer a heart attack. The cost of treatment will be about $20,000 if a heart attack occurs. a. Calculate Joes expected utility level without any health insurance coverage. b. Calculate Joes expected income without any insurance coverage. c. Suppose Joe must pay a premium of $1,500 for health insurance coverage with ACME insurance. Would he buy the health insurance? Why or why not? d. Suppose now that the government passes a law that allows all peoplenot just the self-employed or employedto have their entire insurance premium exempted from taxes. Joe is in the 33 percent tax bracket. Would he buy the health insurance at a premium cost of $1,500? Why or why not? What implications can be drawn from the analysis?""

Loretto Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 40037

Loretto Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 40037

How much more a month is car insurance for a sports car than for something like a coupe or sedan?

How much more a month is car insurance for a sports car than for something like a coupe or sedan?

Car Insurance As A 2nd Driver?

It is cheaper for me to be named as a second driver on MY car, with someone who has 4 years no claismand has been drivin ages, but if i was too hav a crash in the car would he lose his no claims?? and also he has a car 2, so if he claims of the insurance for my car, will this in anyway affect his insurance for his car?? cheers""

How much does it cost to become a named driver under someones car insurance? in the uk?

How much does it cost to become a named driver under someones car insurance? in the uk?

Whats the minimum car insurance required in california?

Whats the minimum car insurance required in california?

""Hi,argos 3 year insurance cover?""

I'm asking about the insurance cover on some earphones,say if they are damaged within one year then they would be replaced under the manufacturers one year guarantee,what would happen to my insurance cover? would I be refunded the insurance as my earphones would be replaced anyway/ Thanks in advance :)""

What is the difference between term and whole life insurance?

What is the difference between term and whole life insurance? When is it better to use one versus the other?

Multiple auro insurance for vehicles in different states?

Me and my fiancee are relocating to different states for new job. I am moving to south Carolina and she is moving to san diego, California. We have multiple vehicle insurance discount now. If we move is it better to register both vehicles in one state to save on insurance , title and registration. I heard it is expensive to register vehicles in california. Can I register the vehicle in my name in south carolina. she is going to be there working at UCSD and the stay is temporary (max 2 years) or is it against the law?""

How much would the insurance cost for a 16 year old in tx driving a dodge challenger?

With a good student discount and a defensive driving course. Also how much would it be for a charger

Would my insurance go down if i trade in an 08 liberty or an 2012 patriot?

I currently have an 08 liberty that we got screwed buying, the gentleman that works at the same dealership is going to try and reverse the loan however which is a good thing. i was wondering though if from previous experience would my insurance go up or stay the same. the liberty we have now has several features. (convertable sunroof, built in media center etc.) where as the patriot doesnt have those features.""

Motorcycle insurance?

i have seen things that say motorcycle insurance is ALOT more then car insurance and things that say car inurance is ALOT more then motorcycle insurance and i dont really know if any one will be able to give me accurate answer to my question but i just want an idea of how much the insurance would be for an 18 year old, with a Honda Rebel, in south texas ((or if there is some where i can find out, that would help to))""

Double Health Insurance Coverage?

I was recently laid off and offered a severance package that included continuation of full health insurance coverage for 6 months for me and my spouse; I will begin another job which offers health insurance; can I be enrolled in both plans under my name? and What happens with pre-existing conditions?

Where can i get tip for cheap auto insurance?

Where can i get tip for cheap auto insurance?

Should parents pay for their kid's car insurance?

Ok, my 20 year old stepson who's been living with my husband & I for the past 6 years is now in 2nd year of college and commuting to college... After battling to get my husband to agree that he needs to be responsible and start paying for his own insurance ($50) he started in July & Aug... Granted we gave him a car to use... All summer he was not able to get a second job (all year worked pt at a store) as he delayed applying since he wanted to see his mother for the summer... Mind that his mother who lives out of state did not pay any child support for the 4.5 years he was living with us... She only paid out of court order for the last 1.5 years of his hs years and immediately stopped once he started college... Now, my step son doesn't feel he should continue paying for car insurance as he doesn't feel he can afford it and my husband feels he shouldn't coz he never asked for anything... I feel he needs to be more responsible as a young adult... Although he doesn't ask for things, I'm looking at his future and hoping that he can grow up to be responsible... He already wasted his first year in college wasting the money he had earned from the pt job always going out with his friends instead of coming home to eat or packing food... Perhaps that's b/c his dad always gave him money for lunch... He could've used that money to pay for college and save, but ofcourse it didn't happen eventhough my husband kept letting him stay in school 'till late at night sometimes as late as 2 or 3 am... Is it wrong for me to suggest that he pay his own car insurance?... I have my own son (17 yo) also from previous relationship and is getting him prepared to get his license next year when he graduates hs and have already been helping him save so he can pay for his own car insurance as well... Any input is appreciated.""

Will full coverage car insurance cover this?

My friend was in an accident on a dirt road last night. He hit a rock sticking out of the ground that popped his tire, and the front right side of his car slide into a mountain. So the front fender, and right door is smashed pretty well. He has full coverage car insurance, and can not talk to them personally about what is covered, because they are closed until Monday. He left a voicemail with the insurance company when the accident happened. Money is tight so he is very worried about what, if not all, will be covered. Does anyone know whether this type of accident will be fully covered, or at least some of it? Thank you for your answers in advanced.""

Do You Have to Get Car Insurance....?

Do you have to get car insurance when you get you temporary permit at the age of 15.5. I am fifteen and I am getting my permit soon and i was wonderin if i had to get insurance. Just Wondering. Thanks Alot:>

Motorcycle insurance requirements in KY?

My son is financing a motorcycle through HSHB. If he gets full coverage its $1000 a year. If he gets just liability is $400 a year. The dealer says he doesn't have to get anything but Liability in Kentucky. He has extended 36 month warranty plan. His bike cost $4000. My son wants to get just liability. My question is will he have any coverage if someone steals his bike if he doesn't have full coverage?

Do I claim my car insurance or my boyfriends car insurance?

I borrowed my boyfriends car and I accidentally backed it up onto someone's car and I want to pay in cash instead. but my dad said that I should claim my boyfriends insurance instead of mines because the guy may claim to much. But I'm the driver not my boyfriend. Arent they suppose to claim my insurance? I don't want to claim my boyfriends insurance because his insurance may increase and his dad may get really mad at me. What do I do?

How much would car insurance for a 16 girl cost?

Im 16 and thinking of getting a 2000 ford explorer and a 2000 jeep cherokee. how much would my insurence cost? and what car is better to get?

Has anyone heard of Unitrin Direct Car Insurance. Yay or Nay?

I need to purchase car insurance right away. Their rates are pretty low. Any feedback would be appreciated.

What is a fast car for a teenager that still has good insurance?

I am looking for a car and was wondering what the insurance was like on what. this is mostly for guys who own fast cars and pay insurance on them i was looking for mostly imports but i do also like some american cars. was thinking VW jetta/passat thanks

How much does car insurance go up when a teen gets his/her license?? (geico)?

i have geico insurance and my teen is about to turn 16. i am wondering how much my insurance will go up when she gets her license. she has very good grades, as i know that helps lower it a little""

Higher insurance premiums for celebrities ?

Is is usual? http://www.insurance-assurance.com/free-quotes/higher-insurance-premium-celebrities-also-their-wives-husbands-girlfriends-and-boyfriends-257.html

I recently purchased a car but I'm listed on my moms auto insurance and I'm using this for covage is it legal?

I used to drive a car that was owned and insured by my mom. Now I have my own car, We called the insurance company and transfered the insurance to my car. I think the insurance company thinks the car is still in my mohters name. She said it doesn't matter, I was listed as a driver on plan anyway. Is this legal? Not sure what to think?""

What would be more affordable?

a 2003-2004 mustang v6? or a 2006-2007 chevy cobalt? insurance wise. serious answers only please. thanks.

Im 18 and live on my own...but im on my parents insurance still. can my parents see what i go to the dr for cuz im using their insurance?

Im 18 and live on my own...but im on my parents insurance still. can my parents see what i go to the dr for cuz im using their insurance?

Loretto Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 40037

Loretto Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 40037

Insurance prices for 17 year old male?

I would like to buy a car after just passing my test. Which would be cheaper for insurance? A ford ka, fiesta. a vw lupo or a nissan micra? All second hand of course. Or any other suggestions are welcome""

How do you switch insurance on your car if you get another one?

1) How much paperwork is involved. I drive a 92 Lebaron that is not too far from dying. I would like to buy a car within the next year and make monthly payments. 2) Is it really just a phonecall with my agent? 3) Do I get to keep my license plate? 4) What happens to my excise tax?--Do I have to inform my town hall of my new vehicle? Do I still get billed for my old car?

Is there good deals at Insurance Auction Auto Sales?

Im interested in going to insurance auto sale for wrecked and salvage vehicles. My question is are the prices low enough to fix the cars to profit money on! What are the popular cars to buy, fix and resale...I was thinking like civics and mustangs because u see them everywhere you go. Im just wanting to try and new route to make some money, I have experience in body work, welding and painting and can usually find good deals on parts...really i just wanna know how cheap the cars sell for....Note I just bought a Lexus rx 300 from a person who bought it from a insurance auction I paid 1900 for it! Anything Helps, Thanks""

How do I know what medication is covered under my insurance?

I have BlueCross BlueShield, and my card has an Identification Number, Group, and Plan Codes. But how do I know what medication is covered for me? Can I find this on the website?""

Are there any good temporary car insurance companies in america?

Are there any good temporary car insurance companies in america?

How much would it cost to get added to someones insurance policy...?

I need to prove that I have insurance to get my license reinstated. My grandma said I can use her car, but I'm not covered. She has liability insurance for her car. How much would it cost me (18 year old male, inexperienced driver) to get added to her policy. It is a small, older 4 door car. Any idea about how much it would be extra a month for me to be added? Also, would she be able to take me off of the policy whenever she wanted without any kind of fee (like if I tried to get taken off in a month, would they say that she has to pay for 6 months...). Thanks!""

Who would be a good company to insure my engagement ring with?

I am looking for a company that has a reputable rapport with customers. A company who can be trusted and isn't under any financial scrutany.

If im a second driver on my dads car when i get older will my insurance get cheaper?

Hi if im a second driver on my dads car when i get older will my insurance get cheaper or not because im the second driver my dad has a vauxhall astra 1.6 its 11 years old and how much do you think the insurance will be im 17 year old boy

Medical Cancer insurance?

my brother had cancer in the past. can he be covered by anyone now?? If he can what medical insurance?

Average insurance price for a Speedfight 2 (16 year old male) ?

could anyone please tell me the average insurance price for a Peugeot Speedfight 2 red wrc 50cc moped 2006 ---- for 16 year old male, no modifications just 3rd party, locked up at night with the cheapest price?? any help/info is helpful -- thanks alot :)""

What factors go into car insurance policy fees? Im going to be a brand new driver?

Im 22 yr old female. I don't have the car yet but I am taking a drivers education course and was wondering how much the insurance would be( estimated). what would be the cheapest big name company right now?

Insurance price for a 16 year old?

I'm 16 live in Minnesota and i want to get a car maybe around $5000 just wanted to know how much a month it would cost for insurance with and without my parents

Car insurance?

which insurance provider gives the cheapest insurance for 18 yr olds

Do you get health insurance as a Burger King crew member?

do you get health insurance as a BK team member if so, what type? Also what is covered and what is the monthly cost? Thanks""

What would be an estimate for auto insurance on a 16 year old male living in California?

I recently got my license and am looking at auto insurances. Can someone find me a quote (or at least give me an idea) for a 16 year old male living in California. The vehicle would be a 2WD 1985 Corvette. I also have a clean record if that helps at all. Thanks!

Where to get cheap insurance for at risk drivers?

Well I had an 08 chevy cobalt (dad was paying for it) & me & my friends were always stupid & I was always doing stupid things. Totaled it. & I got 5 points on my license. I got a Job & my mom agreed shed pay for half the payments on a car. I liked the 2013 dodge darts bc they were really good on gas, looked cool, & had a lot of room. Well the insurance for that was gonna be 900 a month through Allstate. Which is crazy. I can afford 1-150 a month for insurance. Anywhere I could go to get a cheap car insurance? Within my price range for an at risk driver? & I probably won't buy the dart, I was thinking like an 07 civic or eclipse or something on the lines of that""

How much will my car insurance cost (please read) !?

im 18 years old,i just got my license, and i drive a 1984 toyota camry 4 door how much do you think the car insurance will cost ?""

How much would it cost to own a porsche 911 per year? pleeeeeeeeeeeease answer. i beg to you.?

i am thinking of buying a 2001, 4 litre, porsche 911. how much would it cost to run the car every year if i do 15000 miles a year. include insurance, maintenance, repairs, tax, and all sorts of thing. just dont include the prize of buying the car thnk you by the way. i live in the UK. just thought that would be important""

Car insurance for teenagers?

Is there any teenagers (MALE) who have got a quote for less than 600 with 1 years no claims bonus? If so, which insurance company is it with? The prices im getting are insane! I live in the UK.""

Can a change in surname increase car insurance prices UK?

I obtained a quote for a car a couple of weeks back by putting in some fake details that were relatively similar to mine so I wasn't inundated with insurance company spam. The quote was for my mum and I was to be a named driver. The only thing that was noticeably different from reality were the names and email I used. Today, I went to get the quote again, this time for real and so typed in our real names and the quote went up by 600! I then changed the names back to the fakes but kept everything else the same and it went back down!! What's going on? Or do Aviva have something against people with Celtic surnames - I sincerely hope not! Just to clarify, I have previously never obtained a quote in my name with Aviva before this nor have either of our marital status' changed from the fake details. Any help would be great! Thanks in advance!""

If i was to buy a 1.4litre car would my insurance be cheaper than what it is just now?

I am driving a 1.6litre at the moment

Will these cars cost more to insure?

So im looking to buy my first car. The deal is I pay for the car, my parents cover the insurance, but they wont let me get a SUV or sporty car because then they have to pay more. I was looking at a Toyota Celica or Hyundia Tiburon (I kinda want a coupe so my friends wont be bumming rides all the time because ill be the only one with a car). Is this true? I mean, even the 4-cylinder 2.0L automatic models? Will these models still be considered a sports car even with the wimpy specs or were my parents mistaken? I was also looking at a Chevy Cobalt LS coupe, which is pretty much the same as the others, and my dad said it was cheaper to insure?""

What is the renewal process for car insurance?

Do they call in around expiration of the policy. Or is it a form you fill out. What questions do they ask? In particular, say you failed your G test before the expiry of the insurance policy and you redo everything and get a G or G2, will your insurance rate remain the same?""

Can you drive a car in texas to alabama without insurance and inspection sticker?

I had just bought a car two days ago and i don't have insurance for it at the moment and i don't yet have my inspection sticker. i bought it here where i live in austin texas. i had JUST bought the car two days ago so is it possible to drive it to alabama without those things? i have NOT driven the car yet only to bring it to my apartment. since then i haven't touched it. i have no money to get the insurance and stuff at the moment that's why i haven't even driven the car yet. is there a grace period for this? is there any way i could still drive it just for a couple hour ride?

Can car insurance companies commit an offence? IN10?

My car insurance company (One Call) recently cancelled my policy due to them not receiving my proof of no claims in time (that's another issue). However, they failed to notify me in time and I carried on driving my car for 5 days un insured, until the letter arrived (policy cancelled on 10/9/12 and letter sent 14/9/12). Does anyone know if they have committed an offence, IN10 or other? They also charged me 205 cancellation (even though an extension on the proof of no claims was agreed and then later denied when I questioned them) Any advice is very welcome. Thanks.""

Loretto Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 40037

Loretto Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 40037

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