#another character whose stupid hair is gonna fucking kill m

[trainingdummyrabbit]

manager theres a weird FUCKing cat outside. BLINK motherfucker!!!

[meladotjournal]

Esther - Like A Stone

Esther Abigale Lebel, despite everything, is still human. It’s her time. For now, at least. And all hunters go the same way- bloody. But what exactly happens when someone like her dies?

ESTHER has left the chat. 

Feauring: Aeszura and Dionysus. As always, I have no idea what I’m doing. If I write your character wrong, or if you have any comments at all, please tell me! I encourage it! I need to be more productive, and if you need me to rewrite absolutely anything/everything, I am more than willing to have something to do!

Takes place during Supernatural Season 12, Episode 21, set at the end of Esther’s story. Near 1800 words. 

/////

May 11, 2017

I walk out of the cabin, not bothering to clean up the mess inside. The fire I had started inside was already spreading. Sure, the bodies would smell, but at least I could be sure that I wouldn’t have to worry about any more undead spirits in this town anytime soon.

It was an easy hunt involving a couple of serial killers and a surprisingly helpful ghost. I was surprised that no local hunters (whose names I rarely bothered to remember) had picked up on it before I did. Jobs were becoming unsettlingly easy to find. I’m not one to back off of a case- I’ve been known to force other hunters off of jobs, but it felt wrong, and the recent British invasion was nothing if not suspicious. It made me almost glad that I hadn’t made many friends in the hunting community. 

And not that I was lonely or anything, but damn! I haven’t even heard from Aes. And I think we all know how much she likes to talk my ear off about things I hardly understand. But at least she sticks around, you know? I was worried about her, but don’t tell her I said so.

I start towards my car before I hear rustling in the trees. Or was it the fire? My paranoid ass wasn’t looking to wait to find out. That’s when I notice my tires were slashed. Shit. Shit! Here I am, moping like an idiot just to find out that someone’s tailing me. Just my luck. Shit!

I’d go back into the cabin, but that thing is on the verge of collapse at this point. I make a break for it, running into the thickest-looking stretch of forest, aiming in the direction of the shitty little town where I booked a shitty little motel suite.

I find a clearing nearby. Bad for cover, but a hell of a lot easier to run through. Just as I’m plotting my zig-zag formation, I see a big black SUV. Definitely bulletproof. Ominous. There’s sigils etched all over the thing. Shit. Those British fucks were onto me. I’ve been avoiding these cars for months.

I’ve spent too much time examining this thing. Lucky for me, this dumbass left the passenger door unlocked. Sloppy for one of the Men of Letters, though. What was he, drunk? Even the footsteps were sloppy. Small, around my size.

I hop in and crawl into the backseat, locking all the doors manually. I spot my reflection in the window. Jesus, I look terrified. My hands are shaking, and I find myself fiddling with my necklace. Stupid! Be productive! I use my stupid shaky hands to call the first person on my contacts list.

/////

We were getting ready for the next hunt, just like always. This was a big one, I can’t quite remember what, but it was something to do with demons and some weird hoodoo drug trade. And as much as I hate needing help, Aes and Dio were helping. In their own ways.

If I hadn’t met them while I was soulless, I doubt I’d have had the balls to stand my ground. In all honesty, they’re terrifying. I feel like at any moment, they could just eat me alive, or tell me that whatever bond we’d built was a part of some elaborate prank. But even I‘ll admit that I’m not exactly “best fwend” material. So I guess it works.

None of us sleep much. We were fooling around, getting drunk off the minibar while we watched the sunrise from the comfort of our surprisingly classy hotel room, thanks to Dio’s snappy finger magic.

“I think I finally figured it out,” Aeszura cackled. “I know exactly how I’d kill you.”

I rolled my eyes while Dio played along. “I really fucking doubt you could, little miss musical.ly star.”

“Yes, I could. I’d film it. No- I’d livestream it. And people would give me so much fucking money just to watch your smug ass die. I know the websites. Hell,” she laughed, “Facebook Live would work just fine. My followers would love it. Idiots.”

“You don’t even know what I am. I’ve been alive for thousands of years. I could be anything.”

“Time works different in hell. Like Australia. You can’t imagine how long I’ve been kicking ass. But I know exactly what you are. Dionysus.”

“I honestly doubt it. Dumbass.”

“You’re a little bitch, that’s what you are.”

I downed another one of the funky little cinnamon drinks. Not Fireball, but something fancier to match the room, and the Greek cotton I was spilling it on. Higher thread counts were pretty good at absorbing alcohol. Nice. I tried drawing patterns with my finger on the sheets before it could evaporate.

/////

I ran my nails along the face of my phone, fidgeting with the cracks in the screen. “Aes. Please, fucking pick up. I’m going crazy here. Crazier than usual. I’m talking to myself. I swear to-”

“Hey, bitch! What’s up?”

“Oh thank fucking god- Aes, I-”

“HAHA! Just kidding. This is my voicemail. Ha. Sorry. Follow me @stankthottie on musical.ly and-”

“SHIT.” I pound my head on the window, immediately regretting it. I can’t believe I fall for that stupid fucking voicemail every fucking time.

There’s no way I’m gonna be able to hotwire this car or anything. And even if I could, the Men of Letters would know that I stole it and track me down before I could even look at an asphalt road. I don’t know what I was thinking, getting into this car in the first place.

“-anyways, leave me a message after the scream or whatever. Except if you’re an angel or some shit. Eat a dick.”

“Aes, I’m such a dumbass. I’m in one of their cars. They slashed my tires and I- I can’t-” I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a deep breath.

“It doesn’t look good. I’m alone. Haven’t been able to figure out where all the hunters have been going and you know my knife hasn’t been working the same since Asteraoth… you know…” Shit, I’m crying. “-and I’m just so fucking scared, okay? I don’t know where you’ve been and why you’ve been avoiding me or whatever but now would be a really really great time to pop in and do that whole dramatic-as-all-hell smokey thing and save my sorry ass-”

I could’ve sworn I saw something in the trees. Someone? Blonde.

It’s started to rain. Great. Awesome. Fantastic. I try to shuffle my body lower into the seats and closer to the floor of the car. I can see the sky through the windows. The sun’s setting. It’ll be dark soon. I was hoping on getting some biscuits and gravy or something from the diner for dinner before heading out of town. My hiding spot smells like leather. And blood.

/////

“Fine. Fine! Then how- how’d you kill Esther, huh?”

“I don’t even know if that bitch can physically die. Can you die?” Aeszura threw an empty beer can in my direction, laughing, barely missing my head.

“Hrruhgh?” I grumbled.

“CAN. YOU. DIE.”

“Of course she can. Everyone does…” He paused, slouching. Before he thought we noticed his change in tone, he winked. “‘Cept me, of course.”

“I dunno. I’ll go to hell probably. Jus’ like everyone else.”

“Yeah right, with all those angels up your ass? You’ve got half of heaven on your stupid speed dial. It’s disgusting.”

“You’re sounding pretty self-righteous for a demon. What’s got your panties in a twist, huh, pink eyes?”

“They’re RED, fuckhead. Shut up. I hate you.” She coughed. “Ess, I don’t even know if you could go to hell. Trust me- I practically run the joint. Your soul isn’t, like, ‘soul-y’ enough. I don’t know what that angel did to you but-”

“He saved my-”

“Shut UP. Call it whatever the hell you want, but I know souls, okay? It’s kind of my fucking job. But even I’m not exactly sure what would happen if your m-eatsuit-” she paused to gag, “-exploded or something. It’s not a soul anymore. I’m not sure if it- if you - could even go anywhere.”

“Can’t become a ghost, can you? Your soul is already Tethered. I bet like, eight goats that you’d get trapped inside the knife or some shit like that” Dio giggles, snapping his fingers.

“Too bad your pretty little angel can’t tell you anything.” Aeszura joked, but she was getting genuinely angry. “That’s what you get for trusting some stupid fucking feathery-”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, guys. We have a case, remember? Why should I care, anyway? It’s not like I can do anything about it. It’s just eternity. I don’t have to worry about that when I’m busy here. Working cases. And I don’t plan on dying anytime soon.”

Dio chimed in, singing. “That’s what they all say…”

/////

I’m still on the phone. I don’t want to turn it off. I want an audience. It’s stupid and childish, but even hiding from whoever’s out there, I don’t wanna be alone.

I can hear the rain attacking the roof of the car. The leaves on the trees are shaking just as badly as I am. Stupid. I’m probably overreacting, right? It’s nothing. This is nothing. I’ve been through worse. I’ve come out of worse. Who says I’m gonna die? I don’t know the Men of Letters’ M.O. but the thought just leaves a rank taste in my mouth and a lump in my throat. There’s something outside, I can feel it.

That’s when my knife, the Tether, starts humming. I take it out from the inside of my jacket, squeezing it tight. It’s glowing for the first time in months. The thing is practically singing, the vibrations making the worst noise imaginable, like a cross between a bell and a scream. The windows start to shake and the car alarm goes off.There’s a chirp and all the doors unlock. The rear door, the one by my feet, opens.

I sit up a little (might as well) and lock eyes with a blonde woman. Short hair. Big green eyes, but they’re glazed over. She looks tired, but she’s smiling. She’s holding some complicated device, as all these British fucks do- but she doesn’t look like one of them. She’s a hunter. They must’ve recruited her. Bitch. She fiddles on something on the device and the Tether stops screaming.

She pulls out a small gun and aims it right at my chest. I flip her the bird.

[kinetic-elaboration]

November 18: Thoughts on The 100 2x07

Okay, gonna try this again with another ep. Long Into the Abyss

The last time I was watching T100 I was back at the beginning of S2 so I could remind myself of some stuff for a fic so now I’m really out of sorts.

I remember watching this ep for the first time and thinking, ‘oh, I guess Keenan isn’t going to be important, then.’ The fucked-up-ness levels of this scene are supremely underrated. Much like how they experiment on Maya--they know no shame. Also I feel like the implication is that Keenan isn’t the first person they’ve killed in this way. Does no one.... miss them? Why was there no revolt from the populace on the grounds of ‘they’re experimenting on us’ if not on the grounds of ‘they’re experimenting on these random kids’?

That Keenan was felled by rain makes me think that the rain was....dun dun dun, acid the whole time.

“Civilian check-in will take place at 0900 hours. All civilians must be accounted for by your station supervisors.” I mean first there are only two stations lol but otherwise... collecting more data for the Ark AU.

“This is not our home, it’s theirs” is SUCH a retcon and I’m still angry about it.

It makes absolutely no sense that Abby is still in charge even though the duly elected Chancellor is back in the settlement. I mean I know they’re just making shit up now but they’re not even trying.

Jaha’s faith would be more compelling if it didn’t mean randomly abandoning big chunks of his people--not just Marcus and the 48 but every other station that may or may not be out there. I guess he still sees them as a whole not as individuals or even as sub-parts. (I’d say he’s being selfish but in fact he will sacrifice himself too.)

This would have been a good time to lean even more into the 100 as a distinct people all their own. Clarke (and co.) care about the 48 than anything else. But no one else does, really; they were already thrown away.

That was the worst speech Chancellor 1 and Chancellor 2 could have given because now it’s super obvious they are not on the same page.

“The Grounders are attacking because of me” is 100% true and you should say it. People in this fandom love to hate on fuckboy Finn but the actual main characters stuck behind him right up until the bitter end lol, let’s not forget that.

Also yes Clarke’s line is stupid (”The Grounders are attacking because that’s what they do”) but.... she’s not entirely wrong that the Grounders have historically targeted them for almost no reason, over and over, since day one. So yeah they’d probably be attacking anyway. Not five minutes ago Jaha was saying they were just trying to get ‘invaders’ off their land so....yeah no one knows.

Raven’s Gate!

The Mount Weather delinquents! I love them. I love their group dynamic. I love the bizarre way Jasper is sitting, and how much faith he has in Clarke, and Monty being the voice of pessimistic reason. I do not love Monty’s hair. That is an unfortunate cut.

WE’RE CRIMINALS RIGHT SO LET’S BE CRIMINALS.

Says the boy whose crime was being a stoner.

Like tbh now that I’ve looked at the whole season from afar, trying to make it make sense for fic writing purposes, I see that this whole ep’s story line probably mostly exists just to buy some time while actual progress is made outside the Mountain but... I still love it.

Give Ricky Whittle an Emmy lol.

S2 Clarke was such peak Clarke... she’s so smart. Figuring everything out all the time.

[All Grunting]

David Miller is the true and only MVP I said what I said.

Mount Weather population: 382. You know people can give bone marrow without dying. Perhaps you could stop being so greedy and impatient.

Octavia trying to be brave and strong while looking young and scared and small is Endearing.

Totally forgot Nyko was a healer.

Or an Angel of Death lol.

I’m just going to say it. Bellamy was turned on by Clarke electrocuting Nyko.

I’m not super crazy about the Finn and Lincoln comparisons given that Finn acted of his own free will and Lincoln was turned into a cannibal.

The only scenes that really matter are the MW ones as per usual.

“Ye of little faith.”

“That’s my boy.”

I love Miller’s little thief kit omg. And Monty the Stereotypical Hacker.

“And they said we wouldn’t amount to anything.” UNDERRATED LINE.

“Abby, you cannot seriously be taking seriously the thoughts of a teenage girl we previously agreed was completely expendable lol??”

I’d say ‘why do the Grounders need such a comically large force to wipe out a tiny little enclave of scared refugees’ but of course the last time they went up against an even tinier group of refugees they got roasted, toasted, and burned to a crisp so...fair enough.

“She was Anya’s second” as in that should matter because Clarke and Anya were such good friends....?

Jaha hates not being in power so bad. Like he’s this-close from saying ‘Abby stop playing and hand over the pin to a real adult.’ Like he truly thinks she’s just fucking around and he’s entitled to the final say because...habit I guess?

Another point to Finn: if they left they would NEVER come back for the MW kids lol. What an obvious lie. Does Jaha believe his own bs??

Also someone should have pointed out that the Grounders have literally never been good faith with them. Never. Like who says that if the Ark left the Alpha Station site that the Grounders wouldn’t pursue them and kill them anyway? The delinquents abandoned the dropship site and were followed and attacked. (Am I mis-remembering or was ‘leave or die’ the offer then too?) The Ark doesn’t know how much land “belongs” to Trikru (prob because none of it does lol). Like, Jaha’s confidence that Lexa wasn’t lying to him the whole time--like every other time she opens her mouth, because almost everything she says is in fact a lie--is wildly misplaced imho.

All of that said and I completely stand by it--he’s not wrong that he’s the real Chancellor and it is ridiculous that the actual elected Chancellor has to beg the rando who just happens to have the pin to do something. Like--he is right  on the procedure but wrong on the substance is what I’m saying.

And here another example of how only the person who controls the army has real power.

Remember when Abby and Clarke had a good relationship? And it was significant and moving? Anyway another answer to ‘why are you throwing everything away on this plan’ would be ‘because it’s not a shitty plan, you’re just not hearing it out,’ or alternately ‘because we need to deserve to live as I have already said back in the pilot and walking away from MW would be morally abhorrent.’

Netflix subtitles don’t know Miller’s name lol.

MW surveillance of Alpha Station.

Honestly as soon as the stuff with the Grounders moves to the fore I just zone out. Maybe it’s because the tension is gone when you know what happens or maybe it’s because I never really believed ADC but...eh. She has a cool glove though.

They really do hammer home the idea that the MM aren’t really “alive.” Someone bring back that ‘they’re the souls in the underworld’ meta stat.

“This is our world. We deserve this.” Imo this is the hubris of the descendant of American Executive Branch survivors, the belief that, because they were chosen to live for their importance to the whole concept of America, that they now deserve not just survival but a return to that which they themselves destroyed. (I know in this universe it was some rogue AI blah blah blah--it’s more interesting if it was a nuclear war in the traditional sense in my opinion.) Dante has the other side of the argument: We are the keepers of history. The responsibility, over the entitlement. And he recognizes that this legacy is already stained, perhaps irrevocably. Is it ridiculous that he drew his line in the sand? Did he even make that decision, about the Grounders, or did his father make it? Does he think it’s okay because the Grounders are ‘savages’? Because the MM can survive without the bone marrow but not without the blood?

I’m going to be honest, I have no idea what the concept is here with saving Lincoln. Like is this real science about overdoses or just like shit made up as they went along? The only thing I got was the heart thing with the electric shock but like...unclear on the rest... is it just waiting out the detox, I guess?

The dropship has a cute tiled floor. I never noticed that.

They didn’t lie! They were just being as dramatic as possible! Griffin women specialty.

I never shipped M/inty but that was a nice moment. Love those attempts to expand Miller’s character. Also completely forgot that what Miller found was the engineering schematics.

“It’s not complicated really. We just need to keep them alive long enough for the drug to leave their system.” Okay so I was basically right. Not sure how she came to that conclusion from the fight scene but w/e.

L just strikes me as like a young person pretending to be a leader rather than like an actual leader... I’m sorry. But that’s just my read.

Anyway here she is, bad faith as always--moving the goalposts again. “You can have your truce if I get one thing”--LADY YOU GOT YOUR ONE THING THE FUCKING REAPERS HELLO. You don’t get a second thing. I mean fuck really you’re already getting two things: the Reapers and an ally in taking down the Mountain. Now you want a third thing?? No. No more things.

“The one you call Finn”--see, honestly, fake. You’re from fucking Baltimore, no one talks like this or has ever talked like this in the history of human speech.

Anyway, that was intellectually exhausting. Missed seeing my girl Maya. And even more importantly, Raven. And Bellamy had so little to do. He looked damn fine though.