#anon i hope we all fall in love with a mid to ugly person everyone judges us for

[interiorlulus]

Men are always calling women ugly etc and there isnt a narrative that they are shallow

Hmmm maybe misogyny isnt the fault of women??? Maybe its fucked up to place blame on how women are treated and labelled on women??

(Besides I kinda think people pointing out the incredible low standard men are held to looks wise is helpful. Last night I was arguing with someone who was saying that a guy who publicly admitted to not wiping his ass is still hot and that's normal for heterosexual guys. They even said his new gf (who they are supposedly a fan of) could help him improve his hygiene)

Alright, let's unpack!

1) "But men--!" They-kicked-me-so-I-can-slap-them logic doesn't fly with me. Sure, there isn't a narrative about men being shallow, I will give you that. But I think that if you are going to uphold a standard (namely: don't make nasty comments about people's appearance) then you can't selectively apply it. If men are shit at doing so, that's their issue, how is lowering yourself to doing the same the answer?

2) I singled out the women-on-women behavior I observed bc it boggles my mind to see it. Because you should know better. You should do better and not be an ass about who someone has a harmless crush on. I will admit that perhaps my mention of the "shallowness" stereotypes might have been a bit gauche but I also am talking about a phenomena I've observed in specific online circles with a different status quo than the one found in wider western societies. People in these circles know women are not shallow airheads, while simultaneously deriding anyone who has an unconventional looking crush. The contrast between high standards of behaviour and the pettiness is jarring.

So yes, women shouldn't be blamed for misogyny. And I can see how my post came across that way. I hope the above elaboration on my opinion makes it a little clearer what ticked me off.

3) I fail to see the logic in "calling male celebs ugly and mid is a valid form of having a discussion about the different beauty standards applied to women and men". Let me be frank: it does jack shit, and I wouldn't even call it performative activism bc 90% of time it isn't and was never intended as such. You are not having a productive conversation about beauty standards, you are enforcing them selectively. And you are also insulting women for, I cannot stress this enough, harmless crushes.

4) Anon, just a tip: if you want to sell an argument, don't bring up personal anecdotes into the conversation. I don't care about your friends or the couple of people in your social circle and the dynamics that specifically apply to them. In the grand scheme of things they are too unique as individuals to demonstrate larger trends.

5) IF YOU MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE'S (ESPECIALLY WOMEN) HARMLESS INNOCENT (MALE) CRUSHES THAT THEY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER YOU ARE AN ASS. You are not owning up to the patriarchy or whatever you tell yourself to feel better: the male celebs probably couldn't care less, but the women probably won't feel too good at being mocked. And you tell me how that's a "discussion on the different standards applied to men".

Out of all things I expected out of this post, someone bending over backwards to justify being a dick to girlies with crushes on less than adonisian guys wasn't it.

[jcs-writing-hell]

MDZS Writing Game

@the lovely anon from my main ac (jc-aka-why-me)

hey there & sorry for the late reply but i needed a while to come up with an idea i was really satisfied with! i hope you don’t mind and here we go~

Xue Yang/Xiao Xingchen | Modern AU | Questioning life choices, Cooking, Argument | Snow

Taken from my MDZS Writing Game | I accept more requests

-

Xue Yang is a boy that grows up in an orphanage where no one cares about whether he comes “home” or not, or what he does when he doesn’t come back - or the condition he comes back in. He is a kid that gets into all sorts of ugly trouble, having had to switch schools more than anyone should be legally allowed to - especially within the last 2-3 years. He had a ugly childhood and now with 16 years old he has entirely given up the good outlook he once had on society. He doesn’t care, knowing doing so will only harm him more than ruining everything he could possibly hold dear when he feels like it so at least it ends in his own terms. Or destroying others, or what they love, anything is better than being harmed in one way or another himself.

He isn’t dumb though. Even if he barely attends a class for half a year, switching schools at last once mid-term, he always makes sure to just so get his grades up enough to get a year higher. As much as he enjoys fooling around, he likes to prove those that dare look down on him wrong with winning last minute.

Around 2 weeks ago he had to switch the school again. He had gotten into a brawl at the closing ceremony of the year in his old school and wasn’t asked nicely to please never return. For around a week everything ran like usually, but on a shitty monday he spotted someone who caught his attention. He even went out of his way to bully some idiot into telling him who the guy was.

It was a tall beauty, nice character, around 2 years older, who was about to graduate at the end of the year: The person's name was Xiao Xingchen.

Xue Yang had already gotten to know that with his history the school wanted him to join a club, trying to force him to learn better social skills - or in hopes he’d join one, cause a mess and be gone quick. He was about to just “fuck off” but after seeing Xingchen he slyly followed him around, getting to know quickly that the beauty voluntarily played some sort of teacher at the cooking club where any teen above the “responsible age of 16” could join.

Xue Yang signed up for exactly that club, just for fun..

However, he had no idea how to cook, nor did he put much effort in.. and thanks to that he came to enjoy a lot of extra help from his senior. It was between idiotic and adorable how Xingchen kept coming to his aid even for something as simple as cooking rice.. even after he had shown XY how to prepare it 5 times already.

A bit of time passed like that, XY was enjoying himself and unsure what he was plotting himself as well.

The bit of time were around 4 months during which XY was so engrossed in his “game” that he didn’t take note of how much time was passing. That was until the club was supposed to take part in a event, like all other clubs as well. It was especially important for the seniors that would go on to uni or work soon, because possible future teacher and so forth would show up.

Not that that mattered to XY.. Not like he cared. Not like he’d go on to do something great with his life. A shitty thrown away orphan like him. Who was the school even kidding.

However, thanks to the event that was coming up XXC spend extra hours after school end with him, trying to teach him each and every single day how to prepare the dish he was in charge of. Of course, XY messed up whatever he could mess up on purpose time and time again.

By then he had began to honestly believe in his heart that he could do whatever & XXC’s patience would never run out. That things were running how he wanted them for once.. He wasn’t even being a true ass at this point, just not putting in effort but apart from that he behaved, smiled, showed respect and was over all nice.

,,Could you please try to do that properly for once, A-Yang?”

XY was fooling around again, just that this time XXC’s reaction wasn’t a little cute chuckle, he sounded like everyone always did: His patience was running out. And the only way in which XY knew how to react was cutting the ties between them painfully, right there and then because if he would end it, if he would be the one landing the final blow before XXC.. he wouldn’t get hurt. Letting out a bitter chuckle, for the first time since they knew one another XY showed his cunning, dark, sadistic side that was only there for his own sake. Saying line’s such as

,,Oh yeh? Why should I? It’s not like I care. I never gave a damn about this foolish club of yours. Do you actually enjoy playing the idiot here for free without getting shit in return? You really don’t get that people are just using you do you?”

,,A-Yang.. the one who’s been using me all this time has been you, isn’t that the truth? From the first day on, you’re treating me like a fool that can’t see while I’m anything but blind. Even right now you’re trying to blind me and yourself from seeing who the actual fool is.. I might be the one getting used, but being the one using someone else’s honest care for you until you notice that it scares you to death that they might turn you down or actually care.. I might be getting used, but I at least know who I am, I am not a pathetic person that runs and runs and avoids while acting as if I don’t care or hurt from the things I bring onto myself and others. It’s pathetic and sad how hard you’re trying to fool yourself into believing you don’t care out of fear of admitting that you do because you are nothing but a scared child that likes to play tough.”

,,There’s so much bullshit coming out of your mouth, you should wash it out before you try to talk to me again.”

,,Don’t worry. I won’t. I will talk to the teacher today still and let them sign you over to another club. I do not wish to see you again here, and if you see me.. Don’t forget that I’m blind, deaf and an idiot that is talking nothing but bullshit so don’t waste your time talking to me.”

,,Fine with me.”

XY simply replied, watching XXC leave without even taking a last look at him.

XY grabbed his belongings shortly after, bag thrown over his shoulder as he exited the school that wasn’t lit up by the many lights anymore. To his surprise there was snow falling, even though none had ever been supposed to fall that day..

Staring up at the sky, a thought crossed XY’s mind as he felt a more fluid, less cold liquid run over his face.

The weather perfectly resembled the current state of his soul. He was frozen on the inside, tiny pieces falling off and down from the protective layer of ice he had build around his heart.. like the snowflakes that were sinking to the ground in front of him, just that on his inside it wasn’t such a beautiful sight, even though a lot more breathtaking.

He had wanted to play with XXC so much and was so sure of himself and XXC’s forgiveness and patience that the fact that at the end XXC was the one to push him away, talk to him like that.. It had never even crossed his mind & now it was too late and XXC was gone and at least around as broken thanks to his actions as he was. Not in a million years had XY imagined that he actually had enough power to shatter XXC while all he tried was to keep himself together.

XY ends up sitting down on the stairs that lead inside of the school, his face in his hands,.. for once he’s actually regretting the choice he made in his life right there and then, that the argument happened, that he was how he was and actually.. honestly.. always had hurt himself with that behaviour so far as well.

-

From there on it can go a lot of ways:

XY can go back and find that XXC doesn’t return, he prepares the dish he was supposed to prepare perfectly and then leaves - XXC finds the dish then.

XY keeps asking someone from the club what they cook and leaves the meal on his former place each time XXC goes out to throw away the trash after all others are gone already

XY keeps his scores up but also his distance to XXC until the event and he shows up relatively well dressed to bring the dish he was supposed to make

XY can go back in & wait to apologise

XXC can find XY

Either doesn’t attend school for several days and the other goes looking for them

XY might even leave the school & XXC tries to get him to come back, only then realising how bad of a situation XY is actually in

A lot of ways to go in. I tried to leave it rather open about whether or not it’s meant as a romantically involved ship but it kinda went into that direction in my mind.

[eversall]

I saw this headcannon and was really hoping you'd write a fic? simon gets hit with a curse that makes everyone fall in love with him except for jace, simon thinks its because jace’s disregard for him is so strong not even MAGIC can effect it but really its because jace’s regular life involves him keeping his feelings for simon under control so this is just another day for him.

based off of @neonlightwood‘s hc!! thank you anon for taking my waffling desire to write one of those ideas and pretty much motivating me to DO IT

love by any other name || jace/simon, 4k+, love spell au || read on ao3

“I see Jace wasn’t hit.” Magnus says, his tone light even as he waves a hand and freezes Clary in mid-lunge towards Simon. He waves a hand over Alec and Izzy and they become similarly frozen; Simon nearly cries in relief.

“Yeah, no.” Jace says, curiously moving to poke at Alec’s outstretched, still hand, and then pouting as Simon slaps his hand away. “It hit me too, but since I - “ He freezes mid-pout, his eyes going comically wide, and then he turns away, facing Magnus and running a hand through his hair. “I just wasn’t affected.” He finishes, his voice curiously blank.

What? How could Jace not have been affected if he was directly hit by it? It’s a love spell, it should automatically make everyone fall in love with Simon, unless -

The first thing Simonnotices when he gets back to the Institute after being stuck in a meeting withthe Pennsylvania vampires is the unnaturally strong smell of flowers. He pausesby the front doors as his senses are suddenly overwhelmed with - rose, it seemslike. Did someone spill cologne or something? 

He gets his answerwhen he walks into his room and sees that it’s covered in roses. In fact, there’s no room towalk except a tiny path from the door to his bed, the rest of the placeengulfed by roses of every shape, size, and color. Simon’s seen a lot of weirdshit over the past few months as a Daylighter, but this is absolutelyridiculous. 

He doesn’t even like roses, what the fuck. 

He backs slowly out of his room and shuts thedoor, counts to ten, and opens it again. Nope, the roses are still there. He’sbeginning to panic. 

“Clary!” He hisses, spinning on his heel withthe intention of tracking her down so she can help him figure out what’s goingon. Instead, he runs headfirst into Izzy, who smiles broadly at him. 

“Well hello, Simon.” She purrs. She sashays forward - there’s really noother word for it - and pouts prettily at him. “Didn’t you see mysurprise?” 

“Hey, Izzy,” Simonsays, laughing nervously, “I, uh, yeah, I saw the roses! Haha, good…joke…”He trails off weakly as she runs a perfectly manicured nail down his arm, hertouch light and very alarmingly sensual. 

“Did you like it?” Izzyasks, her eyes darkening as she licks her lips and presses forward evencloser. “I just want to make you happy, you know.” 

And no. Simon can write off most of the other stuffas a joke, but the soft sincerity in Izzy’s voice is usually only reserved forher girlfriend,who is - who is stomping down the hallway right now, her eyes glittering withanger. Simon gulps and uses his speed to put some distance between himself andIzzy. 

“Listen, Clary,” hebegins, his hands held up in surrender as Clary draws closer, “I’m not tryingto - “

“I cannot believe you!” She screams angrily - at Izzy.Simon frowns uncomfortable. “Simon is mine!” 

What. 

“No he isn’t.” Izzyhisses back, her hands on her hips as she glares Clary down. Claryactually shoves Izzy at that,and Simon’s immediately between the two of them, pushing them apart. 

“OKAY.” He announces loudly. “Let’s calmdown and think about this.” 

“There’s nothing to think about.” Clarydeclares, still glaring at Izzy. “I’m in love with you, and she’ssabotaging our relationship.” 

“Our what.” Simon says flatly, even as Izzy snapsback, “He’s been there, done that. He wants me now, because I love him better.” Simonhas barely any time toprocess both these horrifying revelations before he hears the sound of someoneelse coming down the hallway, and he looks up to see Alec striding up towardsthem. 

“Oh thank God.” Heslumps in relief, letting go of the girls and taking a stepforward. “Alec, I never thought I’d say this but I am so glad to see you.” 

“Really?” Alec asks as he draws near, hisvoice quiet and - off. Something about it is definitely off. Simon stops and staresas, slowly, ever so slowly - 

Alec smiles at him. 

It’s slow, and shy,but definitely aimed at Simon, and oh God, what is happening here? Alec doesn’t smileat him. Alec tosses out things that are borderline hateful, and barelytolerates Simon most of the time; they work okay when they’re on patrol, butpersonality-wise Alec genuinely finds Simon exhausting. (And not the kind ofexhausting Jace seems to find Simon, the kind where Jace half-smiles ateverything Simon says and keeps coming back to hang out with him.)

“I’m glad to see you too.” Alec continues, hiseyes earnest as he stares at Simon. Simon backs away before he remembers thatClary and Izzy are behind him, and he lets out an embarrassing whimper as hespins in a slow circle, trapped by three people smiling at him with varyinglevels of intensity.

“Oh please,” Izzy snorts, “Alec’s hardlydeserving of you. You need someone who loves you for you.” 

“Yeah.” Clary says.“Which is why you should be with me, because I’ve loved you since we were six.” 

“He need someone who understands him.” Alecargues in response.  

At some other time, maybe, this would befunny, but it’s starting to genuinely freak Simon out. Seeing his friends actcompletely unlike themselves is messing with his mind and making him feeltrapped here, the walls closing in as everything familiar is pulled out fromunder him. He desperately tries to edge out of the tiny circle they’ve created,but the three of them are clamoring for his attention. 

“I gotta go,” he says, physically flinchingwhen Alec reaches out, presumably to touch him, “no, please, don’t- “

“Simon?” a voice callsout, strong and steady, and Simon almost whimpers with relief as he turns tothe source. Jace. Jace, who is comingdown the hallway with his usual half-smug look firmly in place, his eyescurious as he takes in the scene. Simon ducks under Alec’s arm and races down the hall, ignoring the poundingfeet as the other three follow him, skidding to a stop in front of Jace anddesperately shaking him. 

“Quick!” Simon says. “Are you suddenly inlove with me?” 

“No.” Jace spits out, his eyes wide, the answercoming so fast it sends a tiny pang of hurt through Simon’s chest. It’s -he’s accepted the fact thatJace doesn’t like him that way, but still. Every once in a while he’s remindedof the fact again and it hurts all over again, a quiet, thick layer ofheartbreak that never quite goes away. 

Whatever. Now isn’t the time to dwell onit. 

“Great.” Simon says,manhandling a bemused Jace in front of him as a human shield as Clary, Izzy,and Alec push and shove at each other. “Because they are, and generally I’d think something likethat was funny but it’s scary as fuck and I really just want everything to goback to normal it’s freaking me out Jace - “

“Slow down.” Jace sayslowly, one hand going to the knife strapped to his thigh holster and the otherheld out in front of Simon, an extra barrier between Simon and his crazedfriends. Simon nearly cries in relief - Jace has immediately dropped intoserious Shadowhunter mode, Jace is taking him seriously and has his eyes trained on the otherthree. He’s subtly shifted so his body’s shielding Simon even further, anddespite everything - Simon feels safe, with Jace there. 

“I don’t know how thisstarted.” Simon confesses, a sudden tremor in his voice as he takes in the uglylook on Alec’s face as he glares at Jace. It’s wrong. 

“I think I do.” Jace says slowly. “Ishould have figured. We were going through Central Park and there was a warlockwho was practicing his spells. He was young, and he didn’t have amentor.” 

“All of you?” Simon asks, reaching out a handand tangling his fingers in the back of Jace’s shirt as something to anchorhimself with as he keeps eyes trained in front too. Alec doesn’t have his bow,but Izzy’s drawing a blade out of her boot and Clary’s removing her stele fromher pocket. He’s not sure what’s happening, but he’s pretty sure that it’s notgoing to be good. The arguing hasn’t stopped - Izzy and Clary are still tradingbarbs - but Alec’s eyeing them sharply, his stance predatory. It’s easy toforget that Alec’s head of the Institute not only because of his diplomaticskills, but because he’s second only to Jace in his skills. 

“All four of us.” Jace confirms. “Hefreaked out and put a little too much power into a spell he lobbed atus.” 

“Okay.” Simon says, slowly sliding his handdown Jace’s back. “Don’t freak out, I’m getting your phone.” He addsquietly as Jace’s body stiffens at the contact. In any other situation, Simonwould never have been so forward, but he needs Jace’s phone since he left hisin his room. 

“I’m not freaking out.” Jace mutter sullenly,and Simon smiles slightly at that, at the normalcy of Jace being grumpy. “I’ve beenpressing against my parabatai bond with Alec. It feels like something’scovering it, stifling it, but - I think I can get through long enough to gethim to back off.” 

“I’m going to call Magnus.” Simon says softly,his fingers creeping across the waistband of Jace’s jeans until he feels thesolid outline of a phone and pulls it out. At the same moment, Alec leapsforward, slamming into Jace and sending SImon scrambling back.

Jace grunts with the force of the shove andstaggers sideways, his expression unsure as he clenches his hands and ducks outof the way of Alec’s swings. Clary and Izzy seem content to continue circling,slowly pacing forward, and Simon scrambles to unlock Jace’s phone. 

“Passcode!” Simon hisses, and Jace sighsminutely. 

“011216!” He callsout, catching Alec’s punch and pushing him back with the force ofit. “Alec, stop, rememberyour boyfriend.”Alec doesn’t respond, and instead snarls, a terrifying expression, and Simon gulps as he holdsthe phone up to his ear.

“Jace, be careful!” He cries out as Izzy takes her own stabat him, her blade whistling sharply through the air. Jace twists and steps intoher throw, deftly maneuvering her blade out of her hand and sending it thuddinginto the wall with a flick of his wrist. “Oh God - Magnus!” He shouts with relief,hovering uncertainly at the edge of Jace’s fight as the dial tone cuts off andthe line connects. 

“You’re…not Jace.” Magnus’ says, surprised,and Simon groans. 

“It’s Simon, lovespell, everyone’s under it, even Alec.” He fires off rapidly, his eyes trackingJace’s movements, the way the blonde Shadowhunter has his teeth gritted, a beadof sweat rolling down his temple. He looks strained, fighting through theparabatai bond while still holding his own in the fight. “Come quickly, Jace is the only one who’s sane - “

“I’ll be there.” Magnus says briskly, and theline cuts. Simon shouts as Izzy’s heel nearly slams into Jace’s skull, and hestumbles forward into the fight, putting himself between Jace and the others.

“Nope, nope, nope, no murder today!” Simonsays, panicking as Jace slumps forward and rests his forehead againstSimon’s. 

“The bond - it’s so - feels like slamming myhead against a brick wall.” Jace mutters against Simon’s back. They’re in astrange role reversal from just five minutes ago, with Simon standing as ahuman shield in front of Jace. 

“Simon, come on.” Clary cajoles. “It’llbe just us, Simon and Clary, like always - “

“What can Fray give you that I can’t?” Alec demandsbrusquely, and Simon blinks. 

“How you wooed Magnus, I’ll never understand.”He whispers under his breath, and despite the severity of the situation hehears Jace snort from behind him, finally straightening up. They hear theunmistakable noise of a portal  then, and turn to see Magnus step out nearthe end of the hallway and stop, his mouth half-open. 

“What on earth?” He exclaims, and then snapshis fingers, blinking when nothing happens. “Hm. Powerful warlock spell,but nothing we can’t solve.” 

“He’s mine,” Izzy snarls at Magnus, “so backoff.” 

“Rest assured,” Magnus says dryly, “he isnowhere near who I want.” 

“Great, okay, let’ssolve this now.” Simon bemoans, andMagnus glances over at the two of them, a curious expression crossing hisface. 

“I see Jace wasn’t hit.” He says, his tonelight even as he waves a hand and freezes Clary in mid-lunge towards Simon. He wavesa hand over Alec and Izzy and they become similarly frozen; Simon nearly criesin relief. 

“Yeah, no.” Jace says, curiously moving topoke at Alec’s outstretched, still hand, and then pouting as Simon slaps hishand away. “It hit me too, but since I - “ He freezes mid-pout, hiseyes going comically wide, and then he turns away, facing Magnus and running ahand through his hair. “I just wasn’t affected.” He finishes, his voicecuriously blank. 

What? How couldJace not havebeen affected if he was directly hit by it? It’s a love spell, it shouldautomatically make everyone fall in love with Simon, unless - 

Unless, of course, there’s a feeling thatoutweighs even the love. Hate. Jace hates him, more than he apparently letson. 

Simon reels back,feeling like he’s been slapped, his heart shattering into pieces on the floor.He thought he and Jace were friends, at least; he’d long since accepted that Jacewould never look twice at him in the way he’d like to be looked at but friendship, he would have taken the friendship, because it’s one of the most preciousfucking things in his life, but no - of course Simon Lewis doesn’t get thateither, of course he’s fucked that up too, of course he’s managed to drive away yet anotherperson he cares about with his obnoxious personality, an endless cycle ofloving and losing - 

“Simon?” Jace asks, his voice concerned asSimon goes eerily, supernaturally still, his mind falling apart and reformingin true Simon Lewis fashion. He can go on. He can do this. He’s done it before,and he’ll do it again.

“Fine.” Simon says shortly, hating the wayJace’s eyes are worried as he takes in Simon’s blank expression. Jace doesn’thave any right to pretend he’s worried about anything other than his siblingsunder some spell. 

“Right.” Magnus says, staring between the twoof them. “Lovely. I’m going to portal us all to my loft, if you don’tmind.” Simon nods his assent, and Jace grunts in affirmation, his eyes stilllocked on Simon’s with a burning unfamiliarity. Simon averts his eyes, insteadwatching Magnus create a portal and send the still frozen bodies of Clary,Izzy, and Alec through, then stepping through and waving a hand at Simon andJace to follow. 

They step through, andSimon’s struck for a second with the familiar nausea, something’s he’s still not gotten used to. He staggers forwardas he lands in the loft, his stomach dry-heaving and a brief flash of paingoing through his body; Jace, who landed much more smoothly, catches him in hisarms. 

Simon blinks as Jacehauls him upright, caught in a cage between Jace’s impressive biceps. Muscles! his brain helpfully screams at him, while hisheart is stuck somewhere between swooning over Jace’s eyes and Jace’shalf-smile as he takes in Simon. 

Hates me, Simon remindshimself forcefully, stepping out of Jace’s arms and biting his lip. 

“Thanks.” He sayssoftly, and for a second he swears it’s just them as Jace smiles for real,genuine and soft. Simon hates it, hates how much he loves that smile and craves it, even with definitive proof that Jacedoesn’t like him. At all. 

“Still haven’t gottenthe hang of it, Lewis?” Jace asks, and Simon huffs out a laugh. This is familiar. This he can deal with. 

“Still haven’t learned how to drive?” Simonshoots back, and Jace grimaces. 

“Fair.” He allows as Magnus reappears, hishands uncorking a bottle of green powder. 

“This should help.” He says cheerfully, wavinghis hand over the others and unfreezing them. They immediately spin in acircle, taking in their change of surroundings with a confused expression ontheir face. 

“This is different.” Clary says, even as Simonducks behind Magnus’ kitchen counter. He glares at Jace, who is still in hisline of sight and snickering at Simon’s desperate attempt tohide. “Where’s Simon?” She continues. 

“I’ve composed a poem for him.” Izzyannounces. It seems like they only turn to violence when Simon is actuallythere, and he sighs in relief and makes himself comfortable on the floor.“Where is he? Poetry is another one of those things, like cooking, that I’mgood at - “

“No.” Jace says delightedly. “Pleaseshare, Iz.” 

“No. And that is my cue to stop this.” Magnus hastilysays. There’s a muted green hue that covers the apartment then, and the sharp,smoky smell of magic, and then silence. Simon holds his breath, hoping - 

“Oh no.” Alec groans. “Please tell me I’mdreaming.” 

“I’m afraid not,darling.” Magnus says apologetically, and Simon lets out a whoop and popsup from behind the counter, taking in his restored, sane friends. 

“Finally!” He crows, and Clary looks over athim, her expression bemused, arching an eyebrow. 

“Did I…seriously attack you, Izzy?” Sheasks, and Izzy grimaces, looking at Jace. 

“We all attacked Jace.” She says, staring ather brother. “I’m so sorry - “

“It’s fine.” Jace says, waving her apologiesoff. “You were all under a spell.” 

“I’ve never felt anything like that.” Alecsays, his expression bewildered. “That’s not what being in love feels like. Itwas so…desperate, and bittersweet.” 

“I felt as though I had already lost Simon,”Clary agrees, frowning, “which doesn’t make sense because I was still trying towin him over.” Simon frowns as he leans against the counter, looking at all ofthem. 

“Maybe the warlock just didn’t know what lovewas.” He offers, and Jace shrugs. 

“Or it was just a poorly executed spell, withonly raw power.” He points out, looking at SImon, and Simon nods. 

“Oh, no.” Magnus says, making his way to hisarmchair and reclining lazily in it. “Far from it. It was perfectly executed.”His voice is dramatic, and Alec groans. 

“Mags, really?” He asks, his voice coloring indisbelief. “You’re up to something.”

“Alexander, I cannot believe you’d accuse meof such a thing.” Magnus says with as much dignity as he can muster as, hislips twitching despite his efforts. He snaps his fingers and summons himself amartini, looking in turn at all of them, like he’s gearing up to tell astory. 

“Well don’t keep us in suspense.” Izzy says,amused, as she perches on the ottoman. “Share with the class, Magnus.” 

“It wasn’t a love spell.” Magnus announces, lazily stirring themartini with the tip of his pinky, sparks dancing along the rim for addedflair. “It was an amplification spell. The warlock took what someonealready felt for Simon, and directly poured all that emotion into all of you.Emotions are meant to grow, and change; you adapt with them. Getting all ofthem dumped on you all at once - “

“ - can lead to catastrophic decisions likebuying out a rose shop.” Izzy finishes, laughing. Clary snorts. 

“Who feels so stronglyabout Simon?” she muses, then looks at Simon quickly. “No offense - not ina rude way - but we all love you in a normal way, I think. The emotions I felt - that wassad. Pining, even, like - “She cuts herself off and inhales sharply, understanding settling over herfeatures. “Oh”

“Oh what?” Izzy asks.

“Jace,” Clary says slowly, “why weren’tyou affected?” Jace stiffens, his face going blank, and Simon looks on inconfusion. 

“It just didn’t.” He says, and Simonshrugs. 

“Jace doesn’t like me,like, at all.” He tries to saylightly, his voice coming out choked up instead. “It’s hard to emulatestrong feelings when there’s like stronger feeling of annoyance covering it, Ithink - “

“What?” Jace askssharply, swinging around to face him, and Simon blinks in the face of the angerin Jace’s voice. “That’s whatyou think? That I wasn’t affected because I don’t like you?” 

“I - “ Simon begins, unsure of what tosay, but Jace cuts him off with a bitter, dark laugh. 

“Fuck, no.” He says,shaking his head and continuing to laugh brokenly. “I don’t like you, I’m in love with you. That - that pathetic, bittersweet pining everyonefelt was mine becauseI’ve been in love with you for so long I don’t remember how not to be.”

For the second time that day, Simon’s heart shatters- but this time it’s into something hopeful and unbelievable, a little flutterof possibility Simon had thought he’d lost long ago suddenly resurfacing andhitting him with a wave of emotion. An unfamiliar nervousness takes upresidence in his stomach, his mind slowly catching up to his heart as heprocesses what’s happening. 

But Jace turns and leaves before Simoncan do anything, frozen as he is. Simon watches him stride away, his mouthparting in surprise, before Alec stomps over and socks him in the shoulder asthe door shuts behind Jace. 

“What are you still standing here for?” Alecgrowls, and Simon stares at him, uncomprehending. 

“Is this happening?” He mutters, mostly tohimself, but it’s Magnus that answers, leaning forward and lookingserious. 

“That boy is so used to being in love with youthat the spell couldn’t change a single thing about his emotions. He wasalready too deep.” Magnus says, holding Simon’s gaze. “I’m guessing youknow the feeling.”

And how can Simonargue with that? Because he knows. He does. He always has, when it comes toJace Wayland. 

“Okay,” Simon croaks out, nodding andstraightening up, “okay.”

“Good luck!” Izzy calls out to him, and henods distractedly, using his speed to run out of the loft and down the stairs,bursting out of the front doors into the cool night air - and running straightinto Jace at the base of the front steps, sending them both tumbling to theground. 

“Fuck!” Jace grunts, landing on the ground andbearing the brunt of the fall. “Simon?”

Simon looks down athim, really looking.He takes in Jace’s blond hair, fanning out around him like a blonde halo; histired blue-brown eyes, an indescribable sadness in them that’s been there sinceSimon met him - probably for longer than that - and his absurdly long lashes;the firm press of muscles under Simon’s body, his thighs thick between Simon’sown legs; the graze of stubble against the tips of Simon fingers where he’sclutching Jace’s collar, staring down at him in a daze - 

“You need to shave,” Simonblurts out, his heart in his throat as Jace’s brow furrows inconfusion, “and also, I love you. Like, I’m in love with you, the whole nine yards, I -am so gone for you, honestly.” 

“I.” Jace looksshocked, his mouth opening and closing, his gaze vulnerable and a littledisbelieving. “I shaved yesterday?”

“Okay.” Simon says,his head still spinning. “You – yeah. Okay.”

“Okay.” Jace agrees,his hands moving to cradle Simon’s face, and suddenly they’re kissing, stillsprawled on the ground. Jace surges up against him and Simon presses down, lipssliding together urgently as something unlocks in both of them; there’s a moanlost in the kiss, a breathless whimper swallowed down, tongues slipping in andmapping mouths. Simon doesn’t know where he ends and where Jace begins and hedoesn’t want to find out – the kiss is desperate and thick with pent-upemotion, a promise to make up for lost time and a plea to make the most of thetime they do have. Because it’s anuncertain future for both of them, so while he can he’s going to clutch at Jace’swarm skin like a lifeline and memorize the feeling of Jace’s body under his.

Maybe not on thesidewalk, though. That part is getting a little inconvenient – until Jaceslowly manouevers them upright, not breaking the kiss as Simon leans back, nowstraddling Jace. Then, in a move straightout of every harlequin romance novel he’s ever seen in bookstores, Jace’shands slip down to grip his thighs and he hoists Simon up, pushing himself offof the balls of his feet and smoothly getting them both upright.

“I could get used tothis.” Simon says, grinning in delight as Jace effortlessly carries him to thestaircase railing and perches him on it.

“Mm, well, don’t.” Jace smirks, ducking down andnuzzling Simon’s nose. “You’re theone with the vampire strength, you can pick me up next time.”

“This is something you’reinto?” Simon asks interestedly as a light flush creeps over Jace’s cheeks.

“Shut up.” Jacegrumbles, and Simon rolls his eyes and presses a kiss to the underside of Jace’sjaw, instead. He’s about to kiss him properly, his hands tugging at Jace’shair, when –

“Ah. Lovely, but noton my front steps.” Magnus says, opening the door. Simon makes a surprisednoise and jerks backward, forgetting that he’s perched precariously on the thinrailing, and nearly falls over. Jace’s arms tighten around him and haul himback up, and he’s laughing even as Simon balances himself and then socks Jace’sshoulder. “I see nothing has changed.” Magnus continues, dryly.

“Wonderful.” Alec’svoice sounds from behind Magnus. “I mean, I only had to go through the most embarrassingmoments of my life to get there, but it’s all great.”

“Hey.” Jace frowns. “You went through an entire marriage beforekissing Magnus, give me a break.”

“Clearly,” Izzy says,making her way past Magnus and Alec with Clary in tow, “we both got togetherwith far less drama, proving once again that lesbians really do it better inevery way.”

“I love girls.” Claryagrees, sighing dreamily, and Simon grins.

“Gay.” He mockwhispers to Clary as he hops off the railing and tugs on Jace’s hand. “Come on,let’s leave Alec to stew in the horror of being madly, desperately in lovewith me and go back and figure out what to do with all the roses.”

“The roses.” Izzygroans, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’m definitely broke from that, youguys.” Clary hums thoughtfully and begins listing suggestions for the flowers,but Simon doesn’t hear her because Jace nudges Simon’s shoulder.

“Simon.” Jace saysquietly, leaning in. “For the record. Being in love with you, it’s – pretty great.”

“Being madly, desperately, in love with me?” Simon whispers back, snickering, buthe’s surprised by Jace’s soft smile as he squeezes Simon’s hand.

“Being madly,desperately in love with you, yeah.” He confirms, and Simon is suddenly hitwith the feeling that this, this iswhat they mean by a love worth fighting for.

(Izzy and Clary end uppressing all one hundred roses, and they show up as decorations for Simon andJace’s wedding, four years later.)