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avantegarda · 2 years

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Step one: rewatch all of Derry Girls on a whim

Step two: find an old post by @squirrelwrangler and get INSPIRED

Step three: produce this nonsensical fic

The Tirion Edain Historical Society was not an official society in any sense of the word, consisting as it did of three adolescent girls: Rainale, Annalote, and Lehtalinde, in whose home the girls met on a monthly basis.

That said, what they lacked in official status, they made up for in passion.

Lehta, presiding over the affair from her pink-blanketed bed, signaled the meeting's beginning by ringing a small silver bell, her prized possession. The bell, with its axe-shaped handle, was apparently an authentic heirloom from the House of Haleth, and had been bought by Lehta's father as a highly expensive begetting day gift. (Lehta's mother, it should be noted, thought the artifact was undoubtedly a fake and a waste of money)

"I hereby call this meeting of the TEHS to order," Lehta said authoritatively, flicking back one out-of-place auburn curl. "Raina, Anna, lovely to see you as always. And..." She frowned, as her eyes settled upon the skinny young man sitting on the floor next to Rainale. "What is he doing here?"

"He's my cousin Tauraner, Lehta," Rainale replied. "Visiting from the country. Mother suggested I bring him along, as he doesn't know any young people in Tirion."

Lehta wrinkled her nose. "But he's a boy."

"We never said there were no boys allowed," Annalote pointed out. "We have just never had any join."

Lehta still didn't appear convinced. "All right then, cousin Tauraner. Who is your favorite human historical figure from the First Age?"

"Ehm," said Tauraner, looking highly uncomfortable. "Hurin, I would say. He was a great leader, and endured many trials."

"Hurin!" Lehta snorted. "That's rather an uninspired choice... but then, you are a boy. Hurin's quite dull, if you ask me. His son was much more interesting." She cast a loving glance at the painting above her bed, acquired in the Tirion marketplace, depicting a sorrowful-looking young man with a black sword.

Rainale rolled her eyes. "Don't mind Lehta, Tauraner. She is one of those people who thinks sadness is indescribably romantic. She dressed up as Andreth for a masquerade party last year."

Lehta sniffed. "Everyone said the white hair suited me wonderfully. And I just like to think... well, perhaps if I had known Turin, I could have helped him. We might have been friends. I'm sure he was lovely, it was hardly his fault he was cursed."

"Mortals are meant to have wonderful senses of humor," said Rainale thoughtfully. "To cope with the gift of death, perhaps."

"I would like to once again point out," said Annalote, "that I am the only person in this room who has actually met a human."

"Really?" asked Tauraner, wide-eyed. "When?"

"Don't mind her," said Lehta. "She thinks she's better than us because her father once bought a fishing boat from Turin's boring cousin."

"You've met Tuor Eladar?" Tauraner exclaimed. "Sweet suffering Nienna, he's a legend! What was he like?"

"Boring," whispered Lehta, but was ignored.

"Lovely," said Annalote. "Very kind, and very handsome, in an older-gentleman sort of way. And Father loves the boat. You, Lehta, just think that anyone who doesn't die horribly is boring. I suppose you'd like me better if a wolf ate me."

"I am utterly sick of all of you teasing me!" Lehta cried. "Just because I happen to have a more artistic soul..."

"Artistic? Unbearable is more like it..."

"Girls!" shouted a woman's voice from the hall. "If this meeting turns into yet another fight I swear, I will ban this ridiculous society altogether."

Chastened, the girls fell into silence.

"Well," said Lehta at last. "Another lively meeting of the TEHS! Thank you for coming, Tauraner. We will see you next month."

#the character of lehta is dedicated to all the tumblr girls #you know who you are #my writing #silmarillion #tolkien

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