#animalia cladotherian

[grimmwolf]

i used to be not very happy about my amount of kintypes, but when i looked through your kintypes i was like “wooaahh thats a lot of kintypes thats so cool!!” and it made me feel good about my amount of kintypes. :)))

Awwhh, I’m so glad I could make you feel good about your amount of kintypes! I actually have a lot more, I just didn’t add the rest of them here yet lol. I’m slightly more active on Instagram, if ya wanna take a look on there and see how many identities / ‘types I have listed now 😂 but even if you hadn’t seen my seemingly never ending list of identities, you should never feel bad about the amount of kintypes you have. Unless you are deliberately adding to a sort of “kin collection”, also known as “kinning for fun”. Which I don’t think you’re doing. So no matter what anyone says, if you truly feel that you are this ‘type or that ‘type, and you have all of these identities, you are and will always be valid :)

Ps. Here’s my Instagram if you’re curious 👀

💜💜💜

[grimmwolf]

Vent ig. Just had to get some things off my chest is all.

I feel so alone. No matter what I do or how hard I try, it seems like I can never find my place. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere or in any community, human or not. I don’t even feel like I belong in the therian and otherkin communities. I don’t feel like I’m like anyone else. It seems like my beliefs or how I perceive my own identity doesn’t match anyone else’s experiences and such. I don’t want an identity. I feel like I shouldn’t call myself a therian or anything, it doesn’t feel right to me anymore. I call myself that because what else would I call myself?

Human, obviously doesn’t feel right. Alterhuman by itself doesn’t feel right, nonhuman by itself doesn’t feel right. Not otherkin, not fictionkin, not paleotherian, not cladotherian, not otherhearted, not copinglink, not lycanthrope, not even omnitherian. I feel like I don’t fit in with anyone else, like I’m just so different than the typical “therian” label. I feel like I should be researching and questioning just as much as everyone else, but I don’t. I don’t feel like trying to figure it out. I am what I feel like I am, or what I want to be. And what I want to be, is still me. Reasonable or not, normal or not. Why can’t I still be considered a therian even if I just want to be an animal or feel like an animal in the slightest way without needing or having some kind of other label being put to it? I want to be accepted in these communities, but I don’t completely feel like I am. It seems like everyone I interact with just doesn’t give a fluff about me. Like I’m invisible, obsolete, nonexistent, not important or interesting or friendly or similar enough or have enough value for someone to give me their time or to even be on someone’s mind. Like I’m just skipped over. Not given a second glance. No one is probably gonna read this thing too. Nobody cares about me, I’m no one. Nothing. Not perceived. I feel as though I feel so deeply and passionately about things, but it just seems to me like no one feels as much as I do, or at least my things in my mind. And I hate that because I feel like I’m unintentionally internally invalidating others of their feelings and identities and such. How can I do that when I don’t even fully know my identity? Or where I stand within each and every community or feel right with any labels for myself. Labels scare me. They make me uncomfortable and they mess with my head. They feel restricting and I just want to break out of all the labels. I feel like I’m in a cardboard box and I just want to tear it to shreds. I don’t want to be a therian, I want to be me. Me, entirely me, wholly me, my being myself. ME. JUST ME. WHY CAN’T I BE ME!? I don’t want to figure out my identity, I don’t even want an identity. I don’t want to be perceived as someone or something I’m not. I don’t know what I’m not either. I’m just this, or I’m not this. I feel like everything is me. Every animal I see, is me. Or they’re my children, my babies. Every creature, every made up form of a something that’s not human, is me, my children, my babies. Normal therians don’t think that way, right? What would I be then? If I think I’m everything, yet nothing at the same time? WHAT AM I!? Besides nonhuman identity, human identity. Yes, I’m in a human body. Yes, I have a human brain. Yes, I function as a human. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to be perceived as a human. I don’t want an identity. I don’t want a gender. I don’t want a sexuality or sexual orientation. I don’t want to be cis, I don’t want to be straight, I don’t want to be gay, I don’t wanna be bi or trans or gender-fluid or non-binary even. I don’t want to be any gender labels. I just wanna be me. I don’t want someone to look at me and say, “oh a girl” or “oh they’re non-binary”. I don’t want to be anything. I don’t wanna be a they, a she, a he, a it, a neopronoun or anything like that. I don’t want to have any pronouns. I just wanna be me. And I know I keep saying that, but that’s all I truly feel right now. I don’t feel like myself. I feel controlled. I feel perceived. I feel like everyone else is contributing or having a say to my identity and I can’t truly be what I want to be. I want to be an animal. I don’t want to identify as one. At least not in a human body.

I can’t ever find peace in anything. In any identity or label or feeling or belief or thought. I use the terms or labels therian and otherkin because they’re simple, easy to remember, familiar, and because they’re recognizable. Not because that’s what I truly think I am. There’s no other thing to call myself. I feel so unbearably uncomfortable with every single label and name and term and such. I’m so sick and tired of all this.

May add more to this later, don’t want multiple vent posts on this blog. I feel like it would just be considered clutter.

[grimmwolf]

I feel like the world or the universe is asking me, “what’s next?”

…

…like bro, wtf? Aren’t I supposed to be asking you that? Idfk, what is next? You’re the one who’s supposed to know that, aren’t you?

Or, I feel like I’m just being questioned in general. Like I’m being challenged. Forced to doubt myself and all I’ve known. Like I’m expected to change.

Bro, I’ve changed enough, why do I have to do it again? Why do I have to change just because you want me to? Or just because it’s convenient for you. Because it sure as hecc isn’t convenient for me. It’s not an overnight kinda thing. It takes time. Stop pressuring me. If you want me to change, send some positivity my way. I can’t change under stress and pressure. That’s not how I work, if you haven’t noticed.

Idk why these posts keep turning into vents, I swear it’s unintentional 😩

[grimmwolf]

I’ve actually been very hesitant about this identity, due to not wanting to be called fake or kinning for fun. I thought I was alone before this term came up, it’s good to know I’m not alone. But somehow, I still feel alone. Somehow, I’m envious that there are others out there who feel like this, the same as I do. Maybe, I wanted to be the only one. Maybe I wanted to be special. But maybe it’s a good thing that someone else feels this way. I feel more valid thanks to this. Like I can accept this label and be proud and confident with this identity. To call myself an omnitherian. Thank you.

I called it animalia cladotherian, or animalia cladoformia therian tho. It includes extinct animals as well. But it seemed strange because, would all animals be considered a clade? Anyways, this feels right. This is me. I am all animals. 😁

A follow-up post describing my Omnitherian experience

Hi all. I'm glad you guys seem to like Omnitherian. Initially I thought that it would be kinda overlooked. But I am so glad people resonate with the term. It's nice knowing that you aren't alone!

Anyways. I thought I could follow up on the coining post by describing my personal journey that lead up to me identifying as all animals. Perhaps it will help others who might be questioning such an identity.

Honestly, I haven't been identifying as a therian for very long. I found the community in January of 2022 after I became aware of my feelings of being an animal. Ever since I've been learning the terminology, reading individuals' experiences and figuring out what I am.

At first, figuring out my theriotypes was a stressful experience. I would be constantly writing things down, scratching off ideas, really deeply analyzing the whole thing. I've went from jackrabbit, to horse, to wolf, to many other things. Nothing on its own felt quite right. It seemed as if every time I looked at a picture of an animal, I would think "That's me." Doesn't that seem a little intimidating?

Eventually I just gave up. I began focusing on my angel identity (which I may talk about some other time) as it was a bit more grounded. But I still felt such a strong connection to each animal I saw. I just decided to brush it off as my autism and nonhumanity making me more drawn to animals. But deep down I knew it ran deeper than that.

Eventually I revisited my connection to animals, and tried on the label of polymorph. It's a beautiful, broad label that could encompass many things. However, I realized that I am not a polymorph. I don't change forms, or cycle through different animals, or anything like that. I am multiple animals at once! No- I am every animal at the same time!

It was a sudden realization, but it's one that has stuck with me. That's it. I'm not just a jackrabbit, or a horse, or a wolf. I am all of those and more. I do feel stronger connections to those animals in particular, but I get the same feelings from looking at a bug on the window, a roadrunner crossing the highway, or a lamb sitting in a field. They are all me.

Is that not a special experience? Sometimes it can get a little overwhelming, though. Imagine going to the zoo and all you see is you. It's both very fun, but also quite nerve-wracking! My experience being Omnitherian is like being in a mirror house. Each mirror shows you in a different way. I guess that's a good way to put it. It definitely is an amazing thing to know and accept.

I guess that's all I feel like writing for now. Hopefully it was enlightening to read, if my wording on the coining post was odd. If you have any questions about my omnitherian experience, or my alterhuman experience in general, feel free to ask and I will answer to the best of my abilities! Thank you so much.