#animal whumper
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whumpinator · 2 years ago
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Fun things to do with your tiny whumpee:
1: Tie a length of string around their arms and chest, then tease a cat with them. Let the cat bat them and bite them and scratch them, and constantly yank the string so they’re all tired and bruised :)
2: Put them in a blender. And let them sit in there, agonised that at any minute you could turn the blades on. (Even more fun with immortal whumpees)
3: keep them in an exhibit and every so often let a field trip of young unassuming toddlers handle them roughly, with sticky fingers, who squeal too loud, who pinch too hard and pull too far.
4: Same as above but this time with a bunch of Instagram influencers who would arguably be more pointedly cruel.
5: Use EMS! Bind a ring of metal around their midriff and stick them between two opposite magnets to leave them swinging helplessly in the air, vulnerable to any of your intentions!
6: Make them sit as a figure in a cake, getting cold on the soggy icing, feeling humiliated in a ridiculous costume.
Bonus round: Caretaker edition
7: build an ecosystem for the whumpee in a jar, that’s similar to their homeplace. Perfect for whumpees who feel safer in enclosed hidden spaces.
8: Give them a mobile toy train and set up tracks around the house so it can get to certain places faster.
9: Same as above, but instead with various ladders and slides.
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the-bloody-sadist · 5 months ago
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Full on twt just in case it’s too intense for tumblr 💀 SEE HERE
I accidentally got addicted to HSR because of chicken wing boy by the way, didn’t expect to love aventurine while I was at it
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letitbehurt · 11 months ago
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Dog-catcher poles being used to manhandle Whumpee.
Wire choking off air when Whumpee fights or fails to move fast enough, easily cutting through the skin. Hands bound behind their back so that they can’t grab the pole being used to drag them along. Whumper(s) keeping their distance because watch it, this one bites—
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mj-iza-writer · 3 months ago
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Whumptober Day 31
Asking for help - Therapy - Making Amends - "I'm alive, just not well" (Elliott Lee, Alive, not well)
"Master.... please help it", Whumpee came running through the house.
Whumper looked up from their book as Whumpee came tearing into the living room.
"Help what?", Whumper frowned, "hey, relax, take a deep breath... I can't understand what you're on about."
Whumpee took a rushed breath before repeating.
"Help it please, it's dying", Whumpee hurried again.
Whumper saw tears in Whumpee's eyes.
"You're dying?", Whumper frowned.
Whumpee shook their head no.
"Alright alright. I'll humor you", Whumper got up, "take me to what you're talking about."
Whumper followed Whumpee outside to the end of their yard.
Whumpee knelt down and looked up at Whumper pleadingly.
Whumper looked along the curve until they saw two beady eyes looking up at them.
"Oh my", Whumper frowned, "a little kitten."
"I saw a car swerve and purposely hit it", Whumpee admitted, "please Master."
"Whumpee sometimes we can't fix these things. We can't mess with nature. I know it's sad, but we... can't.... help them", Whumper frowned as Whumpee wiped their eyes, "Whumpee", Whumper they sighed.
"It's not fair", Whumpee sobbed, "you saved m..."
"I know Whumpee", Whumper sighed, "I'll take it to the animal hospital though. They can give it a more comfortable good bye."
Whumpee looked at the cat sadly.
"Would you like to go with me?", Whumper started to pick up the kitten, "you have to promise to be good."
Whumpee thought quietly and nodded.
"Alright, let's go find a box and make it comfortable. I'm sure they will be happy to have someone love them for their last few moments", Whumper cradled the baby gently.
Whumpee gently pet the kitten's head as Whumper drove to the vet office.
"Whumpee, I'm sorry you have to learn about mean people like this", Whumper glanced at them, "I know I wasn't the nicest a while ago, and I hope you see me trying to be better. People are cold and heartless."
Whumpee sniffled a little and nodded, "you're a good master.. Master", Whumpee whispered.
"It's.... purring", Whumpee smiled weakly.
"It's showing you that it appreciates the love you are giving it", Whumper smiled comfortingly.
Whumper explained the situation to the vet.
"My... uh.. child saw the kitten get purposely hit. They wanted to try to save it, but I don't know if there is much we can do", Whumper sighed, "I thought we would at least give it this."
The vet nodded, and took the kitten from Whumpee.
Whumpee couldn't help but start crying.
Whumper wrapped an arm around Whumpee to comfort them.
"Shh, it's alright", Whumper whispered, "we are giving the the best we can. The vet knows how to help them now."
The car ride home was almost quiet. Whumpee's sobbing was louder than they intended.
"Whumpee when we get home, you can relax for the afternoon", Whumper sighed, "you've had a hard day."
"The... chores?", Whumpee shook.
"I'll do the chores today", Whumper sighed, "its fine."
Whumpee curled up in the corner of the living room and held one of their stuffies in their arms.
"I wonder if the kitten had a name even", Whumpee watched Whumper come in, "what if it dies without a name?"
Whumper thought quietly, "what would you have named it?"
"Hope", Whumpee answered quickly.
Whumper nodded, "well it now has a name."
Whumpee smiled.
Whumper snuck out the following day and went up to the vet.
"So what was the verdict with the kitten?", Whumper frowned.
"Unfortunately, you were right. The best thing we could do was put it down. There were too many injuries. The kitten wouldn't have had a good quality of life", the vet sighed, "how is your child doing?"
"Distraught, they named the kitten Hope. They were afraid it would die without a name", Whumper smiled, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but are their any kittens for adoption?"
"Whumpee, will you come here", Whumper called from the living room.
"Yes Master.. one minute please", Whumpee called back.
Whumper sat down, but out of excitement, they jumped back up.
Whumpee came in and knelt.
"Whumpee you have been doing so well lately. I am so proud of you", Whumper almost laughed gleefully, "you about broke my heart yesterday. So, I decided to reward you with something I think you'll love.
Whumpee looked at Whumper timidly. Their master may have changed majorly, but surprises were still a little nerve racking.
Whumpee sat down and reached down the side of their chair. They pulled up a small fur ball.
"Master.... what? Wait is that?", Whumpee almost jumped up but remembered their rules.
"This, unfortunately, is not Hope. Hope was very badly hurt. But, they believe this is one of Hope's siblings. They are doing a DNA test right now. The kitten was also found near where Hope was found. This kitten is for you, my dear", Whumper smiled, "you may come say hi."
Whumpee popped up and hurried to Whumper's side.
The kitten mewed at Whumpee as they reached a hand to pet it.
"They will be your responsibility, but I will help", Whumper smiled, "I was considering getting a pet, so this is why I went ahead and adopted them."
"What's their name?", Whumpee whispered as they got their face closer.
The kitten playfully pawed at Whumpee's nose, making them giggle.
"They don't have one just yet", Whumper chuckled as they handed the kitten to Whumpee, "I thought that could be your job."
Whumpee looked at Whumper with doe eyes.
"I get to name them?", Whumpee whispered.
"Yes my dear", Whumper nodded, then watched as Whumpee thought.
The kitten wiggled around in Whumpee's arms.
"Happy", Whumpee finally smiled, "because they made me very happy. Is that okay Master?"
"That is a very good name", Whumper smiled as they patted Whumpee's head, "the vet gave us a few things to use, but we will need to get some stuff tomorrow for Happy. It's a little late now."
Whumpee nodded as they looked down at the kitten.
"Thankyou so much Master", Whumpee smiled up at them, "this means so much."
"You're welcome dear", Whumper leaned back, "do you have any more chores to do?"
"No Master, I finished everything", Whumpee smiled, "they're purring."
"Then go ahead and enjoy some time with Happy", Whumper smiled.
"Whumpee go ahead and get ready for bed", Whumper stood at the end of the hall.
"Yes Master", Whumpee answered happily.
Whumpee set the kitten down on their mattress and started to change.
They noticed how the kitten stared at them, and they realized they were looking at a scar on Whumpee's stomach.
"Oh, Master did that a while ago. They almost killed me when they went too far, but they saved my life", Whumpee answered the unspoken question, "they're different now... honest."
The kitten meowed at Whumpee.
"Meow" Whumpee giggled.
Whumper was surprised when they saw the kitten round the corner and stare up at them.
"Hello", Whumper greeted, "I thought you were sleeping with Whumpee."
Whumper reached down a hand to see if the kitten would come to them.
Happy stared at the hand for a moment before walking toward it.
"Such a good kitty.... ow", Whumper pulled their hand back and glared at the cat, "what was that for?", Whumper watched two spots of blood coming out from their hand, "you better not make that a habit."
The kitten pranced off seemingly pleased with themself.
They kitten climbed back onto the mattress, they stopped to look at Whumpee's stomach before crawling up to Whumpee's nose and softly pawed at them.
Whumpee woke up a little and pet the kitten until they snuggled up close again.
"Goodnight Happy", Whumpee whispered.
Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.
@villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived
@sacredwrath @porschethemermaid
@monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz
@bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13
@notpeppermint @cyborg0109
@idontreallyexistyet @painfulplots
@whumpbump @everythingsscary
@skittles-the-whumpee @expressionless-fr
@theforeverdyingperson @legendarydelusiongoatee
@candleshopmenace @whumpanthems
@lavndvrr @ivymyers
@starfields08000 @a-living-canvas
@lumpofsand @watermeezer
@indigoviolet311 @whumpy-mountains
@3-2-whump @risk606
@electrons2006 @paperprinxe
@whumprince @kaz-of-crows
@mis-graves @decaffeinatedtimetraveler94
@sausages-things @ragin-cajun-fangirl
@isikedmyself878 @daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud
@valravnthefrenchie @glennemerald
@jasperthecapser @does-directions
@deafeninglittlecrown @jumpywhumpywriter
@blackbirdsinatrenchcoat @mylifeisonthebookshelf
@thenormalestever @whatwhump
@galatic-worm @starmoon-constellation
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loonybun · 10 months ago
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been sort of obsessed with more like nature based whump including like hunting whump and the idea came to me of a hunter whumper using hunting dogs to track down whumpee. i just really like the imagery. worst of all is that they’d know the woods far better than whumpee ever could.
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redd956 · 1 month ago
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Here me out
Predator animal themed whumpee, and prey whumper
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anigst · 1 year ago
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My Home Hero - Ep 04-05
Kyoichi was shot, and was treated without anesthesia
You deserve a bit of punishment.
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lumpywhump · 3 months ago
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YALL IVE GOT YOU SOME GOOD SHIT!!!!
youtube
Do you like lab whump??????
Do you like pet? Whump!!!?????
Do you like silly goofy whumper?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!
Do you like sad wet cat whumpees????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!?!!!?!?!?!!?!?!?
I'm going insane AND YALL ARE JOINING ME! KAKEKDKORFODOSLEKDKDN I LOVE MIMI/USHKA
if you don't like reading subtitles there a bunch of English dubs too
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whiteboywhump · 7 months ago
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Am I the only person who loves whump but dislikes it when it’s animated. Like cartoon whump does not appeal to me at all ��
People who are part of the whump community, majority have a empathetic quality about them. Which makes it easy to pin point what type of whump interests the individual.
When it’s played by real people, real actors. You can feel their pain, a sense of comfort, relief etc, when it comes to the character/s and storyline. But animations/cartoons are difficult to read and feel that pain on a deeper level, you know what I mean?
Cause I get more pleasure, comfort and concern when watching realistic whump. I get absolutely no pleasure if I were to watch whump in a Disney movie or an anime for example.
Although that is just a personal opinion because there’s no right and wrong in the whump world.
Do whump lovers out there like cartoon whump, do some like it more than realistic whump?? I’m curious to know what people prefer.
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jumpywhumpywriter · 1 month ago
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Villain's Coffee Shop part 19
Warnings: aftermath of animal mauling, treating wounds
I'm feeling slightly better despite my concussion, so I finally wrote some new parts of this story (thanks to everyone for the well wishes, you all are so kind and supportive and I appreciate every single one of you)
"Thank you for the assistance, Mocha," Villain acknowledged, and scratched the panther behind his torn ear. The purr he got was deep and rumbling, a proper big cat sound.
He gently grabbed his cat's large head, pressing his forehead to Mocha's. "You should go, before the police arrive. Head home."
Mocha flicked his ear in acknowledgment, pulling away. Then he bounded off at a dead sprint, and with a quick hand gesture Villain enveloped him in shadows, concealing him in darkness and turning him invisible once more. Hero stared dumbly as the villain turned to face her.
"You're shaking," Villain stated with a frown. "We should head back to Agency to get our wounds patched and turn this criminal in -- after that, I assume you'll have many questions."
"SO. MANY," Hero agreed, gawking at Vito's mangled form as he groaned, sprawled bleeding on the floor. "But how are we supposed to explain that?? 'Sorry, your freaking panther mauled him'?!?"
Villain stared hard at the floor, avoiding her gaze. "I'll figure something out," he muttered. "But right now, we need to leave. No doubt the cops will come to clean up the aftermath. And I don't know about you, but I'd rather not be swarmed by news reporters when they inevitably arrive too."
Hero could only nod numbly, helping Villain half-carry half-drag Vito off to the Agency headquarters.
Once they'd successfully turned the criminal in, the two of them headed off to the medical wing for treatment. It was there that Superhero found them, eyes dark and serious.
"What. Happened," Superhero growled the instant he arrived. They both knew what he meant.
"Things got... out of hand," Villain offered simply.
Superhero's steely eyes flicked to him, and there was a near-imperceptible flinch as the villain shrank away from his harsh gaze. "Neither of you have powers capable of shredding someone like a rabid animal!" He sharply pointed out. "Why was your target brought in ripped to bloody ribbons?! You're supposed to minimize damages when on-mission!"
Villain exchanged a meaningful glance with Hero, with a hint of a warning in his eyes. "Vito would have killed us," he said, weaving the lie. "I got close enough to snatch one of his ice-daggers and use it against him. Those things are wicked sharp, apparently. I didn't mean to injure him as badly as I did."
Superhero scowled, not looking convinced, but he reluctantly accepted the explanation, whirling around and storming out.
"I don't think that's the last time he'll bring it up," Hero said worriedly. "He's bound to figure it out eventually."
"I'll do everything in my power to keep him from it," Villain snarled protectively with sudden venom. "He doesn't know about Mocha, and I intend to keep it that way."
"Okay! Okay, no need to get so angry about it, I get the idea. Sheesh." Hero rolled her eyes.
Villain was still bristling, but he let it go after some unhappy grumbling.
An awkward silence stretched between them, almost tangible as the last of their wounds were patched. And not even when they were walking down the alleys to Villain's coffee shop did they speak. It was only when they were stepping in the back door that Hero finally broke the disconcerting silence.
"So... Mocha is a giant panther?!" She blurted, following the villain inside.
Villain sank into the first couch he came across with a heavy sigh. "Indeed he is. Great observation, Miss Obvious."
Hero anxiously took a seat next to him, but stiffened in surprise when a familiar black cat nimbly hopped up into her lap. "Uhh..."
"Don't worry, he's safe to pet," Villain reassured, voice laced with amusement. As if to prove his owner's point, Mocha nudged Hero's hand with a small wet nose, making a questioning cat sound.
Hero shivered uneasily, but hesitantly gave Mocha a cautious pet on the head that the cat leaned into with a friendly purr. "W-We're friends, right? You're not going to rip my eyes out if I pet you in the wrong way?"
Villain burst out laughing, making Hero jump. "Relax, Hero. You're supposed to be a fearless crimefighter. Are you weeeely scared of widdle cats?" he cooed in a baby voice, tone slightly condescending and mocking.
Hero shot him a vicious, withering glare, kind of wishing he would suddenly burst into flames and die, but he was entirely unaffected by it, his cocky grin widening.
Hero decided not to let him get under her skin any further, shifting her attention back to the cat purring in her lap. "So, uh, how did this harmless creature turn into... into that thing that mauled Vito."
Villain shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm not entirely sure myself, but I suspect that animals can get superpowers too -- though it is exceedingly rare, and can only happen under the right environmental circumstances. I did an extensive study on the topic once out of sheer curiosity when I first learned what Mocha could do."
"And? What'd you learn?" Hero prodded.
"I called the shelter I adopted Mocha from to ask some questions about where he'd been found, and I went to the location to look for anything unusual. I discovered it was in the grassy area behind an alley that a company was illegally dumping experimental genetic material to get rid of the evidence after the cops busted their operations, and it was just coincidence that Mocha was there before the substance had fully absorbed into the ground. He must have gotten some of it into his open wounds after the vicious dog attack that made him lose his leg, and somehow it altered his own DNA after getting in his bloodstream, giving him his shapeshifting ability. That's my best guess, at least. I can't think of any other plausible scenario.”
"Mmm." Hero hummed in acknowledgment, lost in thought. "Never in a thousand years would I have imagined a cat like Mocha could transform into such a lethal monster."
"He's not a monster," Villain spat defensively. "But of course you would see it like that. Everything's so black-and-white with you heroes, isn't it? Do you see me as a monster too because of my scarred face?! So judgmental--"
Mocha elegantly hopped off Hero's lap and padded over the couch to sit in Villain's lap instead like he was trying to calm him down and show he wasn't offended. What a strange relationship to have with your pet.
Villain let out a heavy breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I apologize for the outburst, it's just... a very touchy subject for me."
"I can see that," Hero teased softly, hoping to lighten the mood.
Villain offered her a small smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes, and faded fast. "I'm also sorry for what happened with Vito, I should have handled the situation better."
"Oh, that reminds me--" Hero abruptly stood up. "I have to head back to the Agency before Superhero realizes I left. I totally forgot! I'm going to have a mountain of paperwork to fill out to get Vito processed through the system. All heroes have to extensively catalog the injuries a criminal has sustained at the time they were brought in. And given Vito's condition..."
"You're going to be there for awhile," Villain finished. "Seems like a bit of an unnecessary protocol, don't you think? Do you seriously have to record and make note of every injury?"
Hero winced just thinking about it. "Unfortunately, yes. Every single one. The overwhelming amount of paperwork is to motivate heroes to do a better job at bringing criminals in unharmed so they'll have less work to do. Superhero is very strict about how he lets us bring criminals to justice. I'm probably going to be in a lot of trouble later for letting Vito get so hurt."
"That hardly seems fair to punish you -- I was the one who caused the accident. Well, technically Mocha did but I would be the first to blame." Villain frowned.
"That's not how Superhero will see it. As the newest hero on the team, you're inexperienced, and mistakes are expected. But the mentor figure the newbies are paired with -- AKA me -- are responsible for their apprentices at all times. Your mistakes becomes my fault for not keeping you in line. Catch my drift?"
"And Superhero will seriously punish you for something you didn't do?"
"Yes. He will. But it shouldn't be anything I can't handle. The sooner I get it over with, the sooner I can return to duty. So I should get back to the Agency as fast as I can." Hero turned toward the door to leave.
"What are the punishments?" Villain suddenly asked.
Hero tilted her head to the side, eyes momentarily going glassy and unfocused. "You know, I actually can't remember what it is. It's been so long since I've been in any kind of trouble at all." The haze cleared up, and the next second she was out the door and gone, leaving Villain to his thoughts.
"That conversation went surprisingly well, don't you think?" Villain spoke, staring down at his cat.
"Mmrph," Mocha huffed in agreement.
⏪️ Back Next ⏩️
Masterlist
@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump
@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @togzy
@whump-till-ya-jump @cravesunconditionallove @whumpwritinglover222
@federthenotsogreat @everynameistakencarrots
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the-bloody-sadist · 9 months ago
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Mori’s playing with sharp objects ✂️💉(full ver on Patreon)
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wren-l-winter · 2 months ago
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Thanks for the continuation!! i’m glad i could give some motivation!!
If you’re down for more (no pressure at all) i also loved this one and would love to see where you take it! https://www.tumblr.com/wren-l-winter/766608155460452352/you-want-to-be-free-whumper-looked-down-at?source=share
this definitely took a different direction than i had thought it would but i'm really proud of this one. thank you anon for asking me to continue it! writing this was really therapeutic
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Mud squelched beneath Whumpee’s feet. Every step brought her closer to the forest, to the smell of pine and the earthiness of decaying foliage. Autumn rains had enriched the hues of vibrant leaves, their tips heavy with droplets. Whumpee stood behind the line of the gates, looking down the worn path she’d once been dragged across. Did she dare try?
Whumper stood as a statue, her cold, stoney eyes never moving off of Whumpee. The mutts waited in the woods, maws salivating with the anticipation of the chase—the only meal they’d ever known were the runaways. 
Whumpee stood there, encased by the weight of what could be. She could be free, start a new life, somewhere quiet and warm. She’d have a garden, something to tend to. There would be a stream nearby, always bubbling away, drowning out her thoughts when she couldn’t keep them at bay. She’d have seeds for the singing birds. Perhaps she’d let her favorites inside to keep her company. And her clothes would be soft and loose, never again would she have to wear corsets or itchy lace. She wouldn’t be a doll anymore. 
The clap of a dog’s bark struck through the delusion. Whumpee would never make it. She couldn’t outrun Whumper’s hounders. She turned away from her dream to the surety of her imprisonment. 
“Nothing’s ever good enough for you.” Whumper’s disapproving gaze darkened as Whumpee stopped in front of her, head bowed and hands neatly folded in front. She grabbed Whumpee’s chin, her nails threatening to break skin. Whumpee knew better than to wince. “One more word about wanting your freedom, and I’ll hang you up by your dainty little wrists and let the dogs gnaw away at you. Do you understand?” 
“Yes.” 
Whumper straightened, running her hands over her embroidered skirt as if she could dust off the moment. “Good. Get dressed. We have guests coming for dinner and you’re expected to entertain.” She turned, walking up the steps and disappearing into the estate. 
A shrill whistle cut through the air and the handlers emerged from the woods, their dogs muzzled and pulling at their leashes. Whumpee looked past them, imagining what their crazed eyes would have looked like when they’d hunted her down.
She traded starving dogs for the gluttonous boredom of the elite.
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urlocalwhumper · 1 year ago
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a group of whumpers proudly showing off their perfectly trained (conditioned) pet whumpees at a party. letting them off leash because they're just so well conditioned that whumper knows they won't even think to try and escape. the whumpers cooing over a cuddle pile of napping pets, talking amongst themselves about setting up playdates for the pets that seem to get along best.
and on the pets' side; feeling safe and warm snuggling with other pets, unable to figure out why they suddenly feel so vulnerable and scared when master says it's time to go home. one pet worriedly licking another's fresh scars, whining low in their throat while the other pet nuzzles them to tell them that it's fine now, they don't have to worry.
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littlelambramblings · 16 days ago
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Love poor scared whumpees who just freeze or fawn. I mean fight is also pretty fun, but there’s just something so interesting seeing someone paralyzed in fear.
Wonder who’s coming over to them? Whumper or caretaker?
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abhainnwhump · 2 years ago
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You know a concept not utilized enough?
Fantasy pet whump where Whumpee literally gets turned into an animal.
Whumper either has magic powers or a potion they force Whumpee to drink. They start out fine, then they get that sick feeling in their stomach. Their bones crack and reshape, muscles thickening and changing form, fur growing all over their body. Whumpee's screams turn to barks. The pain only gets worse until they turn into a tiny puppy. Or bunny, or cat, or ferret, or any other animal.
Whumpee's friends are looking for them obviously. They eventually stop at Whumper's isolated home. When Whumper opens the door, they accuse them of stealing Whumpee. Whumper offers to let them look around their house. Caretaker and friends find nothing, all while Whumper is holding the most adorable chocolate lab.
Whumpee barks and cries at their friends petting them. "Sorry for intruding," Caretaker says. "We're just really worried about Whumpee."
"No, no, I understand. I'll do my best to keep an eye out for them. Good luck on your search. I hope you find them." Caretaker doesn't notice the knowing smirk on Whumper's face.
Whumpee's friends leave, and so does their hope of ever being rescued.
Bonus: Whumpee slowly starts slipping into an animal mindset. They give in to their new instincts. Their memories fade away. Human who? No, they're just a little puppy dog. A happy, obedient pet.
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paingoes · 5 months ago
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Destroyer - Bottle Episode
(Masterlist)
multiple whumpers. hot day. everyone’s mad.
this is like. vintage destroyer. gang's all here. i got nostalgic writing this.
not a lot happens in this one i kinda just wanted to play around some w the original cast because i thought it'd be fun. and it was.
(Content: living weapon whumpee, royal whumper, multiple whumpers, carewhumper, casual whump, dehumanization, drug mention, manhandling, slapping, guns, joke about animal death, minor temperature whump)
==========
Delta squinted into the morning sun. He already felt like he was baking. The length and color of his hair did not help, trapping the heat all down his back. He wasn’t built for this kind of weather; it dried his skin out. They’d been waiting since well before sunrise.
“Quit glaring.” Martino tugged roughly at the fin of his ear.
He hadn’t even said anything.
“Why? He’s right. This is bullshit,” Paris interjected, seizing any opportunity to complain. He readjusted the water bottle against his temple, his other hand still messing with the radio’s dials. “They had three months to fix the warning system — it only would’ve taken a day. I don’t know why the fuck I’m rewarding their bad behavior by coming out here. Should’ve just let them hang. Not my problem.”
He wasn’t faring much better in the heat. The uniform he wore was too regal, too thick for the climate. The sweat against his pale skin made him look sickly.
“Who still fights cavalry?” Simon mused. 
“I know.” Paris gave an exasperated sigh. “I don’t even know why we have the units. I’m going to disband them soon, it’s just…I mean, I don’t think they can be trained to do anything else.”
“What are you going to do with the horses?” Delta asked quietly.
“Glue,” Paris said. 
Delta couldn’t tell if he was serious. 
He made the C’mere gesture with his hand. Delta stood up from where he’d been sitting cross-legged by Simon’s lawn chair. He knelt down on the grass beside the prince. 
Paris wound the cable around his palm.
It’d been an accident discovery. Something in his body’s chemistry made the signal grow louder and clearer. All he needed to do was get close to it, but it worked better if he was directly connected to the circuit. It didn’t require any conscious effort on his part. It mostly just made him feel tingly.
“That is not the intended use case,” Martino said with bitter disapproval.
“Ask me if I give a fuck.”
Dr.Martino tapped the side of his nose in warning. Paris reflexively wiped at his own. He always fell for it.
“Oh, like you’re any better.” Paris snapped when no powder came off onto his sleeve. “Good luck with the opioid settlement, prick.”
Delta smirked at that. Paris noticed — and seemed mildly gratified by it.
From up on the hill, there should have been no better line-of-sight for the signal. But only static came through, audible even when the headset was off. Paris kept playing with the settings, getting visibly frustrated when they only produced different shades of meaningless noise.
“Did you fix the SWR?” Simon said.
“No, the ratio’s fine. It’s the RFI. Nothing’s getting through with all the aerial traffic.” Paris shook his head.
“I bet it’s the SWR. You probably connected the meter wrong. Let me see it.” Simon stood up from the chair. 
“No.” He pulled the wires closer to himself.
“Just let me see.” Simon adjusted the antenna.
“I know what I’m doing,” Paris insisted.
“Then why isn’t it working, Your Highness?”
They were both wrong. Annoyed, Delta quickly readjusted the dials before they could stop him.
“Get off.” Paris shoved him back with a totally unnecessary amount of force, especially considering he was already off. He just caught himself on his free hand.
“Oh, did that work?” Simon asked curiously, releasing the antenna.
Paris put the headset back on. He didn’t answer, which meant yes. He glared at Delta, who was already gazing at the ground as if nothing had happened, careful not to look too smug about it.
========
An hour had passed. The enemy had yet to reveal itself. There was nothing else to do but rehearse. Delta glanced in between the map and terrain it represented, paying careful attention to the grid he was to superimpose onto it. He targeted each position as they instructed.
“B9.”
Delta put out the warning light to B9.
“A4.”
Delta put out the warning light to A4.
“E6.”
Delta put out the warning light to C6.
“I said E6.” Martin yanked Delta’s hair sharply, forcing him to look further east. He hissed softly.
“You know you can talk to him without hurting him, right? He can hear. You’re not even giving him a chance to obey.” Simon’s voice had a rare edge to it as he leaned forward in his seat.
“It’s correctional.” Martino pulled his hair tighter, just to prove a point. “He’s used to it. I don’t think I need you telling me how to do my job. We were doing just fine without you.”
His hand was still in his hair. Delta adjusted himself in its grasp, trying to take the pressure off. It was not successful. 
“He’s actually shown a lot of improvement under me, so I don’t know what point you’re trying to make.” Simon crossed his arms.
The hand was still in his hair. 
“No. No. That’s just because you changed the metric. Don’t think I didn’t catch that. You don’t get to manipulate the data and say you fixed it. I’m onto you.”
“All date is manipulated,” Simon insisted, “It just depends on how. I wouldn’t have even needed to fix the metrics if your colleague could keep her records straight. Those were inconsistent across the board.”
“Let’s not speak ill of the dead, shall we?”
“I’m not speaking ill of the dead, I’m speaking ill of you.”
The hand was still in his hair.
========
The enemy still had yet to appear by midday, though the murmurs said they were close. Delta could almost feel the soldiers’ restlessness mounting on the ground below. But up on the hill, he was far removed from it. He still saw nothing over the horizon. He paged through the yellowed fantasy novel he’d nabbed from the base camp. He heard Paris well before he saw him, cursing incoherently to nobody but himself. He put the book down.
“Delta.” The string of expletives concluded abruptly with his name. Delta looked up.
The prince knelt down onto the grass beside him. He watched intently as Paris leaned over the map, studying it. With a thin black marker, he drew a small “X” onto a spot just along the river.
“Can you reach here?”
The target was about a mile outside of the agreed upon radius. The scale of the map made the distance seem trivial. It wasn’t. Delta hesitated.
“Paris-“ Dr.Martino began to object.
“Shut the fuck up. I didn’t ask you. I asked him.” 
Delta considered it. He turned his head and started to whisper something to Simon. Paris snapped his fingers in front of his face impatiently.
“Answer me.”
“I’m thinking.” Delta’s voice got sharp.
Paris slapped him in the face. Delta winced. He took a deep breath before he looked back up.
“No. I can’t do it.” Delta glared.
Paris slapped him again, harder this time. It actually stung a lot.
“Your Highness, he can only work within a certain range. It’s not reasonable for-“
“I don’t care about the range, you don’t fucking talk to me like that.” 
Delta was breathing heavily. They both were.
“Let’s take a break, huh?” Simon suggested.
“Mm. Yeah. Perfect.” Paris stormed off.
=======
Delta looked over the remains of the battlefield, studying the patchwork of scorch marks he had left upon it. It had been relatively mild, as far as the operations went. He hadn’t passed out even once. The planet had a very traditional style of fighting — there’d been no need for any excessive shows of power. The enemy numbers were shorter than the signs had indicated; the sensors were more broken than they thought. It was all too easily won. The morning’s events seemed even more trivial because of that. 
Delta was tired. The breeze felt nice after burning in the sun for hours. He could feel the tension draining out of him. His head always cleared up as it got closer to nighttime.
Paris had disappeared just as soon as the actual fighting had begun, slipping back into command. Dr.Martino had disappeared just as soon as the fighting was over, very happy to retire after a whole day of it. He was too old for that kind of heat to begin with. It verged on elder abuse.
Only Simon remained with him up on the hill. The sun was setting. It cast long shadows over the hills and bathed all the rest in golden light.
“Can I stay up here for a little?” Delta asked shyly as he noticed Simon packing up to leave.
Simon glanced back at base camp, clearly a bit concerned by the request. Delta really wasn’t meant to be unaccompanied.
“��You promise not to wander off?” He asked.
“Yes, sir.”
“Alright. Come find me when you’re ready.” Simon squeezed his shoulder.
Delta nodded gratefully. He listened as the footsteps faded. He leaned back against the tree, watching the sky darken.
=========
“So you actually glow in the dark?”
Paris appeared up on the hill. The fight seemed to have left him by nightfall as well. Delta figured he was more tempered by the victory than the weather, though.
Delta was surrounded by a soft blue aura. He took a minute to examine it, as if noticing it for the first time. Only his eyes glowed, really. And he couldn’t see those. 
He didn’t know what kind of response that comment would warrant. His instinct said zero.
Paris shifted his arm. He was carrying a stupid amount of equipment on him. Several bags worth of weapons and machinery. They made a metallic sound from within. He seemed distracted by it.
“You knocked the numbers station offline, by the way."
“Sorry,” Delta said numbly.
“Forgiven. Anyway, ship’s leaving. Come on.”
Delta stood up. Paris slid one of the rifles off his shoulder and passed it over to him. The gun was awkward, but not heavy. Delta toted it, pulling his long hair off to the side so it wouldn’t get caught in the mechanism. He took the other bag Paris handed him. He heard something clicking around inside of it. 
It had been about thirty hours since he had last slept. For a second, he swore he heard the bag nicker.
…………
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