#angst today domestic bakugo fluff tmrw

[sweets-r-cool]

Not the Right Birthday Present

Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

so- I think this would’ve been better if I didn’t get played by google bc when I clicked off of full screen all my work got reset at some point so it’s not as good bc I forgot what it said but yeah-

Warning: Angst

A birthday is supposed to be a happy day filled with presents, laughter, friends, sweets, and fun.

It took a certain kind of person to hate birthdays, and as much as Bakugo would say he hated how you and the extras that followed him around would make a huge deal out of his birthday, he couldn’t shake that stupid light and warm feeling that captured his chest.

The same one he would get every bright smile you’d send his way. The same one he got when you kissed his face more times than he could count, bouncing up and down as you gushed with excitement when he got down on one knee, asking you to be his for life. That same feeling he got when he pushed that gold ring onto your finger as you did the same to him. 

Looking back on it, you were generally the cause for that damn feeling that invaded his chest. Even Bakugo couldn’t stop himself from genuinely laughing as you wiped cake crumbs off your face after tripping as you tried and failed to cake him on the two of you’s wedding day. 

Birthdays were supposed to be filled with happiness, not grief, regret, confusion, and hurt. God, did it hurt.

All Bakugo felt now was the opposite. Heavy, like gravity had betrayed him as his footsteps were heavier than ever before. His whole body was fatigued from fighting against the strong pull that made him feel like he was going to fall into the ground. Hopeless and unmotivated, the ash blonde didn’t even want to get out of bed.

 Was there a point? 

You weren’t there to complain at him to make breakfast. You weren’t there to make breakfast yourself, not standing the kitchen in one of his shirts that covered your entire torso as well as a good part of your thighs. He wouldn’t be able to sneak up on you and hug you from behind, burying his nose in the crook of your neck, feeling your warmth and the stove.

Things were just cold. And empty.

Bakugo laid in bed, exhausted for so many reasons.

...

Things were so calm, so dark it was nearly impossible to see anything, even if you squinted. Part of the perks of a house just barely on the edge of the city, away from the blinding lights and the loud noises of bustling night life.

Things were quiet, save for your rhythmic breathing as your chest moved up and down.

Out of nowhere, you shot up, and so did Bakugo who was unable to sleep already due to a weird feeling in his chest. Not the warm one, but rather one that told him it wouldn’t be good to sleep right now, a sort of anxiety. 

You had shot up due to the fact things had changed in the matter of one (1) second. There was an explosion, followed by two (2) more and now things weren’t calm, or dark, or peaceful. 

Peeks of a dim orange light shone through the blinds that were previously closed. A groan naturally came from you as you moved to reach for the blue light shining from your phone as Bakugo looked through the window.

You sighed with a slightly laugh, “Hm, we really can’t rest. Huh, Bub?”

In a matter of ten (10) or even less minutes, you and Bakugo were suited up and in your cars.

Out of all the times, 3 am was when the villains chose to launch a large attack on the better part of the city. But, of course, because that was what villains were. Nothing but inconveniences until Bakugo beat the shit out of them and got them to a jail cell.

“So, what exactly is going on?” you asked Deku on a call connected to the Bluetooth of the car as Bakugo sped- definitely going over the speed limit, but it wasn’t like it mattered at the moment.

The green-haired hero had barely managed to explain before more explosions went off and the line went dead. You were worried, but there was no choice but to push it down, as you were already at the scene. 

It looked like the apocalypse. 

Fire was everywhere, cars crashed, building crumbled, there wasn’t a bit of glass in sight left unshattered. 

The causes were at the center of it all, all the chaos. Countless heroes were already injured, but those who weren’t passed out stood as best as they could against the villains.

You and Bakugo had your work cutout for you.

That didn’t stop from an animalistic grin working its way onto Bakugo’s face as he warmed up with a few smaller explosions. 

~

It was now late into the morning. No one was entirely sure what time it was, but the sun was visible making things a lot easier. The known villains had finally been apprehended, but the damage was done.

It was time to check for survivors, the worst part in most heroes opinion. It always left a sad feeling inside of them, knowing how many lives were not saved. There was still fire everywhere, and of course, there was still a chance of villains roaming around that hadn’t been discovered yet, no one was letting their guards down. 

You had been able to keep a relatively neutral expression this entire time, not an ounce of fear evident. Though, you knew it was simply because there Katsuki was beside you. 

Bakugo had felt the same way, only before he noticed one of the attacks getting way too close to taking your life, had you not narrowly dodged it.

The aura around you always made him feel like everything was gonna be okay, at least eventually. In his eyes, you were the meaning of resilience, always bouncing back from any situation. The ash blonde was trying to keep that in mind.

Being a hero was tough, everyone knew. 

After more deaths of those close to you than should have been normal, you were still fine. Still able to proceed with life as normal.

It was different at this moment.

You had flinched significantly when you realized there was a little girl trapped in a burning building. There was no doubt, the building was extremely unstable, and would crumble any minute. The gash going from your collarbone to your shoulder didn’t look good, so Bakugo immediately stepped up.

“I’ll go,” he stated, already on the way before you stopped him.

Time was running out quick, “No, I’ll go,” you said, pushing both hands on his chest as you looked directly in his eyes pleadingly.

“You’re injured, dumbass,” he scoffed, continuing despite you still trying to block him.

You sighed, pushing him harder, “I’m going, Katsuki,” you pressed, “You know that you’re sweating like hell right now, it’s not worth that risk.”

You moved off him when he stopped. He hated that you were right, he didn’t like this. Not at all. He wanted to do it.

You smiled, about to run off before Bakugo had caught your wrist in his larger hand. You turned, “Katsuki-”

He cut you off, “Just come back to me, alright?”

You nodded, “Of course, I have things planned for your birthday next week, but I can give you one of the presents early later,” you teased, smiling even as you parted, getting closer to the girl and farther from him as you entered the building immediately working on getting to her.

There was far too many things the both of you noticed that went unsaid. However, there were reasons they went unsaid. 

The reality of the situation was far from good, or even okay. It was worse than ever. You’d both known from the start a lot of people had died, and were going to die. But it was also that Bakugo had noticed the way you shook, as if you had been freezing.

It was fear.

You had noticed Bakugo’s quirk was overused, as well as the fact his arm was definitely broken.

Bakugo couldn’t have gone. It was simple as that. If he’d gone it would just be stupid, putting everyone at risk. He might not have been able to carry the girl, or his quirk- which again, was overused- could’ve gone haywire, setting off explosions. Though the latter wasn’t likely, it was still a risk that shouldn’t be taken.

Bakugo didn’t like the unsureness in your smile, and definitely not the way it completely faded from your face the moment you turned. 

It was because you knew that the building might not just crumble. 

It had been one minute since you had gone into the building, Bakugo knew because he was subconsciously counting. It had been one minute, and he was being dragged away from the building by three (3) other heroes.

Something felt feral in him, he snapped, “What- What the fuck are you bastards doing?!” 

“It’s not safe, Ground Zero Sir!” one of them shouted, struggling against Bakugo’s thrashing. 

“Of- fucking- course, it’s not, but I’ll be fine outside!” the blonde hero screamed, the heroes- despite outnumbering him- could only hold him down on the spot that was far enough they wouldn’t be fatally injured, but still too close to the range of which they could be hit by flying debris and injured pretty bad.

“What do you mean, Sir?” another one questioned, “that building could blow up, it’s an apartment building so there’s a chance of one of the water heaters exploding. That could kill anyone.”

The rest of the world seemed to numb for Bakugo. Everything always went quiet before the storm.

Bakugo had to watch as the building exploded just like the other heroes had said. 

Bakugo had to watch as the event that most likely costed him the love of his live’s life unfolded in front of him.

He had to watch as all his light in the world shrived to nothing but ash and debris. A part of him still had hope despite the burning hole in his being. 

Bakugo tugged himself out of the heroes’ grasps, running towards the pile of broken concrete. Your quirk should’ve saved you somehow. In some way, it did something. That was probably what happened, right?

Bakugo’s being was shaking as he dug, pushing chunks of broken walls off. He had no idea where you were, but he’d find you. Finally, the blonde saw a piece of your costume, he moved more debris until he was able to uncover your limp body.

You were already gone.

Bakugo hand quivered as he moved hair out of your face. “Y-Y/n...” things were getting blurry, “Y/n, wake up,” the blonde pleaded. 

This couldn’t be happening. This was some cruel joke you were pulling to get back at him for something he did, probably. 

Bakugo’s breath was quickening in an unhealthy fashion, “W-Wake up, you damn-” it was like bitter weights filled Bakugo’s mouth as he lacked the ability to think about anything other than your name. “Y/n?!” he began to shake you a little.

You had so much more stuff left to do. So much to do together. Bakugo’s jaw clenched as he held you closer to him. His breath hitched, it felt like he was being stabbed in the stomach repeatedly. 

This couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be.

This was some cruel joke. Maybe even a dream. He really wanted it to be.

...

Bakugo woke up. He was sweating and his lungs hurt, he was breathing quick but he refused to open his eyes.

He didn’t want to take in reality. He might’ve been forced to do that if he did open his eyes.

A feathery touch to his cheek made him flinch. Prying his eyes open as he was unable to understand what was going on this very moment. “Hey, Bub,” your soft, just over a whisper voice cooed, “It’s your birthday!” you giggled, sitting upright on the bed besides him.

Bakugo felt the warmth invade his chest, only slightly this time as you continued, “I know you don’t want to wake up right now, but Mina, and the boys will be over later in the morning.” You glowed, your cheeks slightly flushed from how happy you were for a birthday that wasn’t even yours as you continued to rake your hands through Bakugo’s ash blonde locks.

Bakugo grunted when he felt his lips turn upwards. Not wanting you to see, he moved to bury his head in your lap, eliciting a giggle from you, as you continued to stroke his hair.

When he wrapped his arms around you somehow despite the position your were in, you scoffed playfully. “I woke you up for a reason, silly,” you admitted, ignoring Bakugo’s grunt of protest when you began to move to get up, “Please, Bub? I wanted to show you something before I go,” you pleaded.

Begrudgingly, Bakugo let you go and only after a second or two that you got up, he did too, following you to the piano. He scoffed with a smirk, crossing his arms as he leaned on the wall nearby. That piano was something you bought completely out of impulse, promising you’d learn, but the only thing you did learn was Hot Cross Buns. It was more like furniture to look at, only there for the aesthetic but never actually played.

You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear as you positioned yourself to play.

Bakugo thought you looked angelic at that moment, but he was sure that the sounds you were about to make weren’t.

However, the ash blonde stood corrected as you played ‘Happy Birthday’ in a tune that wasn’t simple, but rather more than just the basic keys involved. Some of the noted dragged in to each other in a nice harmony, while some of the others were short and quick but worked perfectly nonetheless. The sound was actually elegant, light, and beautiful, some more words Bakugo would be able to describe you with, even if he didn’t say it.

Your voice- also light and airy- worked well with the piano, maybe you could’ve been a singer if you tried that route instead of becoming a hero.

It was now that Bakugo realized, you simply were his light. You didn’t just cause him to feel that light and warm feeling, it was that you lit his life up and gave it warmth.

It was when the song came to a close, Bakugo felt something was off.

“Happy Birthday, my love,” was all he heard before everything went dark. Bakugo, was most definitely awake. So, why did it go dark?

An overwhelming feeling of dread filled Bakugo to the core.

It was freezing, as he had already broken into a cold sweat. He was nauseous.

Bakugo reached around for a light switch, his pupils dilating smaller when he was blinded by the artificial lights in the ceiling.

He caught sight of the clock on the wall.

3 am.

It mocked him, being awake at this hour for no reason at all.

Bakugo dragged himself to bed, dropping onto it without bothering to pull the blankets up despite his cold body.

He shut his eyes.

...

This time the ash blonde was woken up by a series of loud knocks. Strangely, the knocks were not from his front door, but rather right outside his bedroom door. Bakugo groaned, reaching around the bed for warmth, the blanket had fallen somewhere too far for him to find without opening his eyes, so his next source of warmth would be you.

Sleep weighed down his eyes just as much as his mind. He reached so far across the bed he only reached the other edge of it. You weren’t there.

Not anymore.

The thought sent Bakugo’s eyes opening in panic. Where were you? Why weren’t you there?

Another pang of pain went through his chest at the realization. 

You weren’t ever gonna be there, never again. You were cold, flashes of your lifeless e/c eyes appeared in Bakugo’s brain, hitting him with a wave of nausea. A strangled sob came from the ash blonde’s throat as fresh tears began to fall from his crimson eyes. 

He was never going to hold you in his arms, he was never going to eat your sometimes shitty food, he was never going to see you again. Bakugo would never feel that same warm and light feeling again.

He couldn’t breath. It felt like bile was scratching up the inside of his throat. The knocks had stopped, most likely after the loud sobs filled the room. Instead, it slowly opened, revealing Kirishima with a deep frown on his face. 

He got inside the house with a spare key you’d given him, but he tried to give Bakugo at least a little bit of space by knocking. It was clear he wouldn’t be able to do that.

The words that left Kirishima’s mouth in a sad attempt to get his usually standoffish best friend to stop crying went unheard by the blond who had his face buried in his face.

The rest of the Bakusquad- now turned into the ‘take care of Bakugo squad,’ was waiting in the living room, a solemn atmosphere weighed down on them as they were forced to listen to yet another round of sobs from their normally angry dead friend.

It had been a full week since you died, and Bakugo still felt in denial when he dreamed of you. It was his only peaceful time. He had barely eaten any of the food the Bakusquad had brought him, but it was enough to keep him alive.

They all knew in the back of their minds that Bakugo hadn’t known it’d been a week. He was on an emotionless autopilot when he was crying. Not only did your death hurt the Bakusquad horribly, but the state it left on of their other friends in. He wasn’t even himself anymore without you, just a mere shell.

Kirishima sighed, he was gonna save his birthday surprise until he felt a little bit better, or at least until Bakugo stopped sobbing, but the redhead couldn’t see when that would be.

He unlocked Bakugo’s phone, knowing the password because of you, and pulled up a video from a hidden file. Bakugo didn’t spend enough time on his phone for him to notice a file he never made.

Bakugo was still crying when he heard your voice, the fact he’d never hear it again made him confused. Then he realized it was the video on his phone.

Bakugo shut himself up upon hearing you, still crying, just quiet.

“Okay!” you grinned at the camera, a smirk on your face. “It’s currently... March 29...?” you questioned, checking your phone for confirmation and nodding when you knew you were correct.

You continued, looking back up, “Today is day one (1) of learning piano for my dear Katsu!” you grinned, a ghost of a smile prodded at Bakugo’s mouth, but it never showed, “He got mad when i bought the piano out of impulse- so I’m learning so he’ll owe me like a million kisses!” you proudly proclaimed, eyes sparkling, so different from the last image of them, forever burned in Bakugo’s brain. 

You stretched, “I guess I should be talking to the camera like I talk to you, so- uh- I’ll do that?” you giggled, “Okay! Back to the task at hand! I want to learn a bunch of songs eventually but for now I’ll focus on Happy Birthday and maybe your favorite song?”

Watching you do all this made the tears run dry, you really wanted Bakugo to be happy on his Birthday. 

Bakugo’s red eyes remained glued to the screen before the last part, “I know it’s not your birthday right now, but that’s when you’ll be seeing this. So, Happy Birthday, my love!” you beamed. 

You’d done all this, spent all that time learning piano for him and yet you never got to play it for him in real life.

Flashes of last night came pouring back in. Was it a dream? That same single phrase echoed in his mind like a mantra, “Happy Birthday, my love.” That was what you said to him in the dream- or was it real life?

Bakugo couldn’t tell.

He as much as he wanted to be happy on his birthday like you’d wanted, he just couldn’t do it. Not when the only thing he really wanted was for you to be alive. Not when he just wanted you to be okay. Now you weren’t, Bakugo wasn’t okay.

He wasn’t sure he ever would be.

Was it so much to ask for you to be with him on his birthday? He didn’t even want cake or present. Everything would’ve meant nothing to him if you were here. You were his world, his everything. Now without you, there was nothing but gray.

You were gone, and that left Bakugo broken, empty, and cold.