#angry pineapples gotta ruin everything

[april-showers86]

There always has to be those handful of people who ruin Beliza's heartfelt posts to each other with their delusional nonsense 😔

[chil2de]

Your sharing a bed with the JJK men hc's were incredible 😩 special mentions for Megumi's bed head, Nanami being a secret cuddle bug, and Yuuta having to drink both iced coffees (that fucking sent me fjdndnfd I could picture it so clearly).

You're super talented so could I, er, possible get a NSFW version? 👀 💳💥💥💥💳💳💥💳💥

Thank you so much 🥺💕

hello anonie!!! thank you dear i’m so glad you liked them!! please the credit card emojis had me cackling LMFAOOOO you really made my whole day out here!!!(THE ICED COFFEE WAS MY FAVOURITE PART TOO)

well i managed to hit the max amount of characters allowed in a tumblr post with five characters alone so i’m going to have to split this up into several posts. it just kinda happened ig

characters in this post: itadori yuuji, gojo satoru, okkotsu yuuta, fushiguro toji (megumi was supposed to be here but i had to reserve him for next post😔)

this work is nsfw. if you’re new here, please read my disclaimer before proceeding. thank you and enjoy!

based off of this post

itadori

- itadori would prob be a ‘deer in the headlights’ if you woke him up in the middle of the night

- but after that? shit, he’s so nice to you. so kind and generous for his baby girl. whether he’s fucking you ‘cause he thinks you might be able to sleep after an orgasm or there’s just an incessant desire for him- doesn’t really matter all that much to itadori. he loves you either way :)

- gets horny so easily LMFAO

- would 100% dick you down if you asked him to and i like to think that he still keeps his really sweet personality during sex cause aaaa he would be so soft and reassuring

- hardcore dom yuuji sounds sexy as all hell but let’s be real… this man won’t kill a fly and apologises for stepping on ants. only exception being angry sex but overall reserving hard dom for sukuna :)

you pepper tiny kisses onto itadori’s face, treating him with the utmost care like handling fine china. his skin feels so soft against your lips, and he smells very faintly of milky soap. there’s some traces of brand cologne on his shirt, as well as his natural scent.

“yuuujiii-“ you coo, blowing air very gently. when he doesn’t stir, you run your fingertips through a bundle of his cotton candy tainted hair. it evokes a reaction from him, so you continue to press him.

“y-uuuu-ji!”

after a few moments, itadori lets out a soft whine before grumbling incoherent blabber. “i won’t eat the pineapple! kugisaki will scream at me!”

you giggle before prodding him again, when finally he relents and jolts awake, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted at how close your face is to his.

“‘s it morning yet?” he wrinkles his nose, stifling a yawn. you emit a hum in thought before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling you into him. itadori squeaks in surprise when he feels you latch your lips onto his neck, suckling and carefully breaking the bonds underneath his sensitive skin. his moan comes out groggy, still laced with sleep.

“that drives me crazy, you know that, right?” itadori laughs, though his voice comes as a wobble.

“i know. and they look so good on you too, hm?” you giggle, caressing one hand from his neck and then down to the hem of his shirt. your fingertips flutter against his bare skin and he shivers physically and audibly. you smooth your palm flat along his chest, dragging your nails carefully against his muscles.

“kinda.. wanna.. go to.. sleep.. but i don’t.. wanna fall asleep…” itadori mumbles against his pillow. the fabric muffles most of it, but there’s a strain in his voice that leads you to believe he’s moaning lightly. guess after sukuna ripped his heart out, this area hasn’t been quite the same, huh?

“so? then go to sleep, yuuji. i’ll be fine-“ “-no way! i gotta take care of you”

“so why don’t you?”

“‘m going to! i was asleep just half a minute ago!”

“and besides-“

he shifts himself up into a sitting position, leaning his back against the headrest. itadori opens his arms, motioning for you to crawl on top of him. without any haste, you clamber over his built frame, ghosting just over the print of his hard dick.

“not that i mind but- we did, you know, in the morning already-“ “oh, shit, sorry- it’s totally fine if you don’t want t-“ “-just messing with you!”

itadori pulls your neck down and gifts you with the same treatment you were offering him earlier. his tongue is hot and wet against your skin and you can already feel the precipitation forming at the back of your knees. calloused yet tender hands smooth around your waist and he smooths his palms over your shoulder blades.

after itadori’s satisfied with the mark he left, you can’t help but groan a little into his mouth when his lips suddenly claim yours. he drinks you up, relying solely on your taste like he’s drowning and you’re the air he needs.

itadori takes his sweet time cherishing you, or rather it’s still his state of half slumber, but you can feel a dull ache prick your abdomen. you scratch up his shirt, motioning for him to take it off. you’re unsure what comes over you, but shit, you don’t want him- you need him.

“heyheyhey, ‘s okay. don’t worry, i got you.”

“i’ll take care of you.”

“just relax, okay? i got this.” he only coos with sweet reassurances, peppering small kisses and handling you with the utmost precision.

you whimper, balancing your palms flat against his abdomen for additional support as you sink down onto itadori’s cock. he lets out a hum of content, forehead bumping against yours as he allows you to adjust.

“you good?” he murmurs after a few moments, capturing a few strands of your hair in between his fingertips. you nod meekly and itadori hisses out a breathy exhale. he’s sure that if he goes rough as shit you might end up more broken than being able to sleep, so he screws his eyes shut and exhales to maintain his composure.

blazing hot lips scrape against your ear, and his voice comes out in a husky tone.

“tell me how you want it.”

by the lords of everything and all that is holy, itadori only chants the same phrase over and over in his mind. it’s a miracle that he’s able to think straight with all the blood rushing to his cock. he’s more than happy to take it slow, reward you with slow and long strokes while he showers you with high praises. but he can’t ignore the twitch that he experiences when he envisions that pretty lil fucked out face of yours, all messy and ruined for him.

you mutter that you have no preference, that you don’t care because anything he’ll do for you is perfect, and it only gives him a beaming smile at your words.

itadori grabs the scrunched up ball of his shirt that he was wearing before ripping the fabric into half with his bare teeth. you watch his eyebrows perk when he notices how fucking hot you just found that, evident with the way your walls fluttered around him.

“here, babe.”

you part your lips and he stuffs the fabric into your mouth, there’s a little bit of excess hanging out, but he reminds you that you look sexy as hell either way, on top of his dick like that with your hands on his chest, legs spread, face flushed and ready for him.

“don’t wanna be wakin’ anyone else up.”

yuuta

this man is about to end my whole career

yuuta wouldn’t bring it up on his own accord just because… respect.. and he doesn’t want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable into doing things you’re not ready to.

it’s kind of a gray area for him because he doesn’t relish the idea of bringing up sensitive and/or extremely awkward topics so he really said ‘i’ll leave it up to future me’s problem’

but holy shit. let me absolutely tell you.

the second you hint at it? anything of the sorts? 0 to 100. he is FREAKY you cannot tell me he’s innocent just LOOK at the man

can make you scream with ease. all that practice he’s been doing with handling katanas? he doesn’t need his dick to make you cum. will gladly lick up your leftover juices and remark with a smile on his face how ‘it tastes good, angel’

similarly to itadori, i think he would be sweet and patient when asking for your preferences, etc, but after that you’re gonna have to find something to bite onto

“and? what’d you tell her?” yuuta remarks from over his fanned out deck of three cards. his gaze flickers to you as he awaits a response before using his index and middle finger to lay down a +4 card.

“red, by the way.”

you huff and glare at your boyfriend, picking up four cards and attempting to hold them in such a way that they don’t all fall and rattle to the floor. truth be told? you’re seriously a sore fuckin’ loser. you don’t know how he does it, but you’ve never managed to win a game against yuuta.

“i told maki-san that it’s her problem, not mine. if she’s so pressed about people taking them, why does she keep noodles stored in the fridge? really, noodles in the fridge? they’re really spicy as well! made my nose run like hell.” you scoff in distaste, throwing down a random red card on the pile.

“you totally ate them didn’t you?” yuuta giggles, beaming you a wide smile.

“also.. told her that i didn’t see them instead but- yeah.”

“aren’t you worried she’ll find out? oh, and, uno.”

“she might just beat me up to be honest, and, uno, you say? not anymore, love.” you sneer, throwing down a +4 card.

“i want green.”

“i’d protect you.” yuuta states over his cards. you feel like cracking a joke and laughing, but there’s absolutely zero implication on his facial features to show that he’s joking. that, and his serious tone, of course.

you flip your cards down onto the table and yuuta squeaks, pointing towards them.

“uh- i can see your cards-“

“it’s okay, not like i was gonna win anyway.”

at this point, yuuta’s mind races a hundred miles an hour. he’s panicking, blood pressure raised, heart thumping and throat clogged. oh, shit, did he do something wrong? did he upset you? is it ‘cause he said he’d protect you with no regards to the fact that you’re perfectly capable of fending yourself off against maki? fuck, he’s such a god damn screw-up, can’t even take care of his girlfriend correct-

“hey.”

your fingertips slide around his neck, hands interlocking at the base of his head. your thighs balance on his lap and you straddle him, legs either side of his.

he can’t help but hitch his breath, holding it in as though one wrong move and you would dematerialise.

“what’re you thinking about in that head of yours?”

whether you’re referencing his mini panic attack just now, or if you’re referring to all the multiple times he’s battled just bending you over and railing the absolute shit out of you, there’s not much room for debate when you brush your clothed sex up against the print of his dick.

yuuta snakes his slender hands around your throat, holding it in place. you can feel the arousal pool and wash over you, and you’d be more than surprised if you hadn’t soaked through your clothes.

he lets out a breathy laugh, devastating your stomach with butterflies due to how attractive he sounds. yuuta’s soft lips brush the shell of your ear and his other hand moves to rest on your waist,

“why don’t i show you?”

before you can utter a tease something along the lines of “show me what? how you’re too scared to hit me in bed?” you’re already down, flipped over and bent over the table you and yuuta were using moments prior ago for uno. the cards have splattered all over the wooden floor and you only hiss in discomfort as the cool surface scratches against your delicate skin. your boyfriend towers over you, leaning down as his torso clicks into place against your back. even through his titanium white jacket, you can feel his calm and collected heartbeat. he rests his head on your shoulder, nudging his face into you.

“don’t scream, okay? or, try not to, at least-“

his warm fingertips ghost over the curve of your ass, where he pinches the skin there before delivering a loud slap. you squeak, back arching as you jolt from the action. he proceeds by grabbing the inside of your thighs, long middle finger hoisting around your underwear and pulling it to the side. he makes note of the red lingerie you’re wearing and gives you a small chuckle, peppering a kiss to the side of your face.

“-unless, of course-“

“-you’d prefer everyone hear me fuck you stupid.”

“safe word’s blue, angel. i love you and thank you.”

truth be told, you were never sure what to expect from yuuta. hell, you’d never really seen the man’s dick before, sure you caught glimpses in the morning whenever he’d wake up but it’s really not the same. nothing in the world can compare to the first time you felt his piping hot tip brush up against your slicked cunt. and it was embarrassing, actually, the way your pussy was seething for him already.

with a firm hold on your tailbone, yuuta utilises his lower body strength to ram his dick all the way inside. there’s a garbled and choked moan that hisses from you when you feel your walls wrap and deform around the girth of yuuta’s dick. you whine even more so when you can physically feel a thick vein that decorates his shaft.

“the mirror.” yuuta commands in a low tone, redirecting you to glance at the same mirror you’d always fantasised about him fucking you in front of.

his eyes are half lidded, riddled with concentration. it reminds you of that feral and focused gaze he gets during serious battles.

“don’t look at me. look here.”

you trail the outline of yuuta’s arm veins as a result of him rolling his uniform sleeves up; following his v line that points towards his dick. you can only gawk in awe when you realise you’ve taken him to the base of his shaft.

his gaze locks with yours for a split second and he snaps his hips out until just about his tip is visible inside your cunt.

and shit, if his pretty pink cock isn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, especially with that attractive curve. you’re sure the gesture is just to wind you up, but you can’t help but swoon at him showcasing his pride to you.

“so- mmhf- pretty-“ you whine, words jumbled and breath caught when he slams his dick inside without any prior warning. you can only shriek in exclamation when his tip bruises your cervix, and you’re unsure whether you lament the sensation or not.

he only gives you a cheerful hum, reminding you of his usual cheery disposition. it’s not until then that you realise how much of a fucking beast he’s acting right now.

“right? i’ll put it to good use, i promise.”

gojo

- i know we’re all thinking the same thing here lmfao

- trying to sleep? good for you, now, open your legs for satoru.

- oh you can’t sleep? atta girl, down on your knees for satoru.

- bye i can literally imagine gojo saying some dumbass shit like “think you were trying to sleep but i couldn’t help but think how good my dick would look down your throat like that. sorry, love, you’re not sleeping tonight.”

you blink your eyes in turn with the cicadas chirping aside, stifling a yawn. everything around you down to the very last detail screams at you to sleep, but you just cannot. from the pitch black night that floods the room obscurely, to gojo’s even and quiet breathing beside you. you’ve tried it all. you’ve counted an excess amount of sheep, you’ve tensed and relaxed your body more than you can remember. hell, no matter how many times you’ve flipped the pillow you always seemed to feel less exhausted each time.

you can’t watch netflix, because you’ve binged all your favourite shows. it’s not that you’d wake gojo up because, who cares? by the time you finish scrolling through the endless lists it’ll be time to get up.

you ponder over the things you can do, continuing to subconsciously blink furiously. that is until gojo makes note of your stupid actions and starts giggling like a high schooler at his first sleepover.

“what the hell are you doing?” he snorts, cackling into the pillow like it’s the best joke he’s heard for quite some time.

“shut up, satoru. i’m trying to sleep you ass.” you tut at him, berating him for ruining your divine concentration.

gojo audibly shifts onto his stomach, his right arm crosses over the back of his head as he lazily rests his palm onto his scalp. the other arm preoccupies itself by landing it smack bang onto your chest, fingers wandering up to cup your breast.

“satoru, huh? that’s daddy for ya” he remarks, still giggling in a state of half asleep.

“uh-huh. goodnight.” you dismiss him and his nonsense.

“just go take a shower. always helps me whenever i can’t sleep.”

“hm? you’re giving me actual good advice and being a normal boyfriend? i think i might be asleep already, this is the best dream ever.” you remark sarcastically, prying gojo’s glued wrist off of your breast and sitting up. you could go for a shower, actually. you’re not sure why but it’s always so therapeutic to take one at night rather than the morning.

“huuuh? how could you say that? you’re so mean, (y/n)-chaan! i offered you my love and the world and this is how you repay m-“

“-goodnight satoru. i love you.”

“don’t think professing your love for me will change my mind! i’m still upset at you right now, young lady!” gojo shouts from over his pillow, exclaiming and irritating you in the way he knows how to best.

“yeah, yeah. okay.” you mumble softly to yourself, bearing a wide grin from ear to ear nonetheless.

when you move to crank the water on in the shower, you realise that you didn’t bring along a change of clothes. you momentarily pop back into the bedroom to ransack the drawer for anything that you can find.

“are you back to apologise for being so mean to me?” gojo whines and you can see the pout evident on him even when it’s pitch black.

“no, i’m just here for clothes, satoru.”

you hear him mumble something but it’s muffled by the sheets he’s underneath so you don’t heed any attention to it and resume in taking a shower to help keep your insomnia at bay.

with a ginger step and a small ‘oopf’, you heave yourself into the large shower that only a headass like gojo would bother buying. it’s reminiscent to what a hot tub looks like on the inside, with surrounding jets practically in a full 360 degrees. the things so steep that there’s a small step up in front of the shower outside the actual structure. it must have cost quite the fortune.

you reach in for the built in shelf to grab ahold of some of your toiletries as you allow the water to fall in a gentle sprinkle, almost like rain. there’s an audible squeeze reminiscent to trying to get the last ounces of ketchup as you apply some body gel to your hands, lathering it up.

despite standing, the warmth of the water leads your muscles to feel less tense. the only noteworthy downside is that the running water is tremendously loud. how on earth is gojo sleeping through all that racket?

slender fingertips ghost over your inner thighs. you can feel his wet and sturdy chest in place against your spine.

“surprised to see me?”

“you know i can’t let my baby talk shit like that.”

really? that’s his issue at hand here?

“so which is it?”

“acting like an intolerant brat because you’re tired or ‘cause you wanna get dicked down?”

gojo loops his arm underneath your leg, bending it up. you almost topple over in the process and you lay one hand flat against the tile.

“don’t answer that. sometimes it’s so obvious that you’re such a whore for my dick.”

“huh?! what the shit are you saying?” you snap at how correct he is.

gojo yanks your face back, digging his fingers into your cheeks as he forces you to face him. it almost sends your neck into two pieces, straining to look back at him.

“oh, really princess? just the other day you were begging me to fuck you”

“remember that? couldn’t wait so you rode me in the car? you know, baby, all you gotta do is ask.”

your legs tremble and psyche wobbles when he pries your mouth open with his thumb, promptly before spitting into it.

“don’t bother with the bullshit. i’ll play the games, not you.”

he drags his hard cock against the curve of your ass, slapping it against you.

“i don’t think i feel like fuckin’ you right now.” gojo sneers, humming sardonically. his lips quickly latch onto yours when you spin around to meet his gaze. like the fucker he is, gojo moans and whines into the kiss- lips ravaging you whole and tongue capturing your essence.

“baby girl, i was gonna let you top me. you know i don’t let anyone do that.”

his long middle finger prods against your cunt, forcing itself in with ease.

“damn, you’re soaked. you really wanted to milk me dry that bad?”

you hate him. hate him so fucking bad. he flashes you that attractive smile of his, azure eyes sparkling and snow white hair disturbed with water.

gojo pulls his finger out before sucking onto it in front of you, lapping all the excess arousal off.

“i’m not playing with you tonight.”

toji

- i literally don’t even need to say anything here

- just be sure to make a hospital check up appointment or something

- um-i uh- please remember to breathe after this one? maybe touch some grass? ALSO my first time writing for toji AAA i hope he’s okay

maybe if you don’t breathe? nah, that wouldn’t work. there’s still air acting around your limbs when you move so you’d be disturbing the barriers there. let’s see… maybe bit by bit? surely if you slowly inched his shirt up? then again, wouldn’t toji chew you out halfway through? maybe you should just give it to him straight up? just slip your hand under his shirt. come on. but he looks so peaceful, sleeping like that.. long eyelashes fluttered closed, lips relaxed and not scowling. his eyebrows are softly arched. he looks so soft, lips parted, chest rising and falling with every breath.

fuck it. just do it. cuddle him already.

you muster up all your courage in one fell swoop and you bend one leg over toji, resting it just above his groin. your right arm sprawls out over his chest and your hand rests against his toned arm. he’s already sleeping with one arm bent up with his hand supporting the back of his head, so you utilise the free real estate to nestle your head in the crook of where his shoulder and collarbone meet.

when he doesn’t move after a while, you deem your life to be safe and exhale with ease.

“you’re not asleep.” toji states in a groggy, husky tone. it’s supposed to be a question, but, coming from him it almost sounds like a challenge.

“yes?” you squeak out meekly.

“‘yes?’ you asleep or not?”

“i can’t sleep again.” you murmur against his shirt and he exhales a small sigh. the arm that you’re clinging onto moves to draw small circles on your thigh that rests on toji.

“when’d you notice?” you inquire, glancing down at his large wrists.

“like five minutes ago. nice try, kid.” toji snorts indifferently, chuckling at your behaviour.

when you don’t make an effort to respond, toji’s interest peaks and he lets out a small hum of intrigue when he follows your gaze.

he turns his head, brushing his lips up against your temples.

“see anything interesting down there?”

“as a matter of fact-“

you nestle yourself in between toji’s large and built thighs, digits curling around the waistband of his boxers. he only smirks at you through the dark, cock twitching through the fabric. you notice toji hover his hips up so that you can slide his boxers off for him and you happily oblige.

“-i do.” you chime, licking your lips.

it’s cute, though, if you thought toji was gonna let you handle him like that all by yourself.

as you kiss a trail up his thick shaft, toji yanks ahold fistfuls of your hair before grabbing your face off of his cock.

“who said you could suck my dick? that’s real cute.”

“thinking you actually have a place in my house.”

“i didn’t train you to be such a depraved slut. know your fucking place, because this isn’t it.”

“how many times do i gotta tell you? you don’t belong here. look around. do you see anything that shows a woman lives here? no? that’s because you’re nothing but a fuck doll for me.”

toji hisses out profanities at the gag you spew when he slams your tiny little mouth back down on his dick.

“lose the teeth you imbecile. unless you’re trying to tell me that you can’t suck my dick properly.”

incessant whines and garbled sentences are muffled by toji’s cock. whatever remnants you had of your vision are nothing but a blur as tears stream your cheeks, nose running and sniffles resurface in a repeating pattern over the slick sounds of slurping and gagging. your mouth stretches as far as it can go and the corners of your lips shriek in despair. you can feel the skin there stretch and pull beyond what’s considered normal.

even through all that, you manage to glance up at toji through your water logged lashes. you’ll be a good girl for him. you need to be.

“fuuuck. that’s a pretty sight.” he grumbles and a deep chuckle resonates through his chest. within a few moments, toji fumbles to reach for something.

you can only wince and screw your eyes at the suddenly blinding flash of a light in front of you. one can only assume he’s taken a photo of you in your humiliating state.

you can feel the fear settle into your veins when that telltale ping of a message being sent vibrates throughout the room. if you were to listen hard enough, you could hear a notification go off in the next room over.

your throat feels raw, jaw tense and locked open. it’s been a good twenty minutes of toji face fucking you to teach you a valid lesson. it’s all in the will of him wanting to drag this on, savouring every miniscule slurp, whimper or gasp. when his strokes start to feel sloppier than usual, you can’t help but feel relieved.

as you squirm about due to toji shooting hot ropes of his thick cum down your throat, the door softly clicks open.

“megumi. you’re just in time.”

“she’s way more obedient than your mom ever used to be.”

[uas-art]

Stutters kiss in the rain for the promt thing ~=D

Alright, so confession, I read this, and over time while mulling just how I’d go about this request, switched kiss for dance. >>

Either way, you get both in the follow fanfiction. ;D

Title: The Rains Down in Hawaii

Summary: The rain is ruining Stan and Butters’ vacation!

Rating: T

Shipping: Stutters

~~~~~

If Butters glared any harder through the window, he would slice the glass.

Stan sat, picking at a loose string on the palm leaf bedspread. He looked pass the foot of the bed at the muted TV. As if to rub salt in the wound, the weather person waved their arm over a large storm system that covered most of the tropical island of Honolulu. The subtitles read that the heavy rains would cover the area for the rest of the week.

Of course, he and Butters vacation ended in three days.

When they arrived at the airport the day before, not a cloud covered the sky. A warm breeze brought the scent of the sea to them. A perfect start to a vacation, if you asked him.

The best part was just how excited Butters had been. His face beamed as he babbled on and on about all the plans he had and all he would show Stan.

“I’ll show you all the places only we locals know,” he’d proclaimed.

Stan nearly pointed out that Butters had only ever been to Hawaii twice before, once with Kenny when they were kids and once with his parents when he was a freshman, but he didn’t want to rain on his boyfriend’s parade.

In the end, the weather had done the raining for Stan.

Now Butters sat cross-legged near the sliding glass door as he tried to will the rain away.

Stan flopped onto his back. He watched the wicker fan blades spin in lazy circles as the rain pitter-pattered outside. Sleepiness began to take hold. His eyes slipped shut and his breathing went shallow. Just as his brain shut down for a mid-morning nap, Butters let out a shout.

Stan bolted up, looking around.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asked around a yawn.

Butters scrambled to his feet, pointing. “The rain!” He shouted. “The rain stopped! Com’on, Stan! We gotta go do something now before it starts again.”

He yanked Stan to his feet. Stan stumbled, nearly hitting the side table with his hip. Butters didn’t seem to notice in his excitement.

“Com’on, com’on! Hurry up!” Butters childishly bounced next to the door as he let Stan put his sandals on. The moment he fastened the final velcro strap, Butters threw open the hotel room door.

Looping his arm around his, he pulled Stan down the hall, nearly trampling over an old couple. Stan shouted their apologies over his shoulder before they turned the corner.

The moment they barreled down the final stair step, Butters made a beeline for the front door with Stan in tow.

He threw it open, took three steps outside, before being hit in the face with a wave of rainwater.

Butters arm fell limply to his side as he stared up at the grey sky. Stan set his hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

“Hey, it’s ok,” Stan soothed. “Look, why don’t we check out some local malls or shops? Wouldn’t that be fun?”

Butters raised a shoulder in a half shrug. “Yeah, ok, I guess.” He sighed. “Lemme get my wallet and an umbrella.”

Stan watched as Butters slowly trudged back into the hotel. The rain increased then, already soaking through his button-up shirt. A stroke of thunder roared from above. A lightning bolt tore across the sky.

A shudder ran down Stan’s spine.

Hurrying inside, Stan went up to the front desk.

“Excuse me,” He tapped his knuckles against the wooden desk. The worker turned from organizing some papers with a wide, fake smile.

“Aloha, how may I help you?” he asked.

Stan pointed over his shoulder. “I was wondering when the next bus would be by to take people to town?”

The man frowned then shook his head. “I’m so sorry, sir, but the bus broke down this morning.”

“Oh.” Stan pursed his lips then asked, “is there another way to town?”

The man shook his head again, “I’m sorry, no. Not unless you walk, but—” as if on cue, thunder rumbled threatening outside. “ — I would not advise that.”

Stan took a breath. The man stiffened. Stan knew the man expected him to blow up. Instead, Stan let out the breath then gave him a small smile.

“That’s too bad. Thank you, though. If the bus gets fixed before too late, could you call up to my room? 211?” Stan requested.

The man relaxed. “Yes, I can arrange that.”

Stan left with a thank you before trudging up the steps to his room and his soon to be even more disappointed boyfriend.

~~~~

Butters lay face down on the bed. His blue hibiscus print shirt tossed carelessly onto the woven chair. Stan rubbed Butters’ shoulder with one hand while channel surfing with the other.

When Stan told Butters about the bus, Butters shut down. His face fell and shoulders slumped forward.

“Oh, ok,” he had said, before beginning to unbutton his shirt.

Stan had half expected him to cry or get angry. In fact, he was fully prepared to hold Butters down so he didn’t try to march down the road in the storm.

“Stupid rain…” Butters grumbled. “Stupid, stupid, stupid…ruining everything.”

“Yeah, the weather is the worse,” Stan replied idly, pausing on a NASCAR race before moving on, “but it’s not our fault.

Butters pushed himself up on his elbows. “It still ain’t fair, though! I wanted to share this part of my heritage with you, and now I can’t!” He dropped back down with a half-muffled cry of frustration. “I just wanted to show you all the cool animals and plants and dunk you in the ocean! Is that too much to ask?”

Stan furrowed his brows. “You planned to what me in the ocean?”

Butters shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now.” He muttered. “Even all my carefully thought out romantically spontaneous plans are drowned in all this rain.”

A wave of heavy rain slammed against the glass, shaking it. The thunder and lightning had passed an hour ago, leaving just a heavy deluge. Even squinting, Stan couldn’t see the trees just beyond the balcony.

“Romantically spontaneous plans, huh? Like what?” Stan flipped past a local Jerry Springer style show.

Butters rolled to his back. Stan moved his hand to stroke his hair instead.

“Just, you know, fun, sudden stuff! Like walking through the forest with shaved ice in the middle of the night or finding a nude beach and go skinny dipping,” Butters listed off. “I wanted to go to a luau and dance, but…” He groaned. “Stupid rain!”

He tapped his fingers against the remote in thought. Maybe, just maybe, they could do those things, but without leaving the room. Skinny dipping was easy. The tub had more than enough room for that. Shaved ice…

His eyes wandered towards the mini fridge. There was ice in there, and a half-finished bottle of pineapple juice from yesterday. It couldn’t be too difficult to put the ice in a bag and crush it. Add the juice and that would make a pina colada, wouldn’t it?

An insurance commercial with a man spinning around a lamppost in the rain played on the TV.  As a bolt of lightning hit the man, an idea struck Stan.

He jumped up.

“Get up, ” he ordered, unlocking his phone.

Butters raised his head, fixing Stan with a confused look.

Stan threw his shirt at his face.

A few moments later, Butters finished buttoning up his shirt as he stood next to Stan near the sliding glass door.

“What, are you hungry?” He asked. “Are we going to the buffet?”

“No, we’re going to do something romantic and spontaneous.” Stan threw open the sliding glass door then took two big steps into the rain. He pressed play on his phone.

As the first new notes of ‘Uma Thurman’ played, Butters eyebrows raised up.

“Dance in the rain?” He asked, stepping closer, but not outside.

Stan nodded. “Yeah. Doesn’t get more romantic than that, unless you plan to give a sappy speech and propose.” He paused then asked in all seriousness, “you weren’t, were you?”

“Oh, golly! I hadn’t even thought of that. Should I have?” He asked, a few inches away from the door. “Should I go get a ring? Do you want me to? If the bus is fixed, I can find one in town.”

As Butters turned towards the door, Stan put a shaking hand on his forearm. He didn’t plan on leaving this tropical paradise with more than boyfriends. Besides, if either of them were going to propose, Stan long ago decided that he would be the one down on his knee.

“Butters, just get out here and club dance with me on the balcony to the greatest hits of the twenty-teens,” he deadpanned.

Butters looked out at the rain, then to Stan, before he brushed Stan’s hand off him

Stan’s mouth fell into a frown. Had he messed up? Butters didn’t think he was mocking him, did he?

Butters took a breath.

Then he dabbed.

He looked over his arm with a wide grin. Stan returned it.

Maybe their vacation hadn’t gone like they wished it had, but as Stan pulled him out into the rain, he decided he didn’t mind too much that the weather screwed them over, if he got to see Butters smile.

He paused just a moment as the final chorus of ‘Party Rock Anthem’ played, before reaching over and grabbing hold of Butter’s shoulder.

Butters’ eyebrows raised as Stan pulled him close to place a kiss on his lips. Butters melted into the kiss, sliding his arm around Stan’s shoulders and tangling his fingers in his soaking hair.

Just as they pulled apart, the sun shone down on the couple from a break in the clouds.

~~~

AN: Gonna plug my Writing tumblr for the heck of it. @uas-fics

[aardvark-123]

Gensokyo Festival Day 20: Kasen Ibaraki and the Cranky Crustacean Caper

I tried to mimic the mystery-of-the-week formula used in Wild and Horned Hermit for this story. Emphasis on “tried”.

It was a normal day in the beautiful Eastern Wonderland.

"Reimu! Good golly, Reimu, you've gotta see this!" Marisa burst into the Hakurei Shrine, carrying a large reddish-brown crab in a bucket. It had four long, spindly legs, four rather shorter legs and a pair of heavy pincers.

Slumped over her kotatsu like a human doily, Reimu groaned and rubbed her eyes. "Marisa, I'm trying to sleep..."

(Like I said, it was a normal day in the beautiful Eastern Wonderland.)

"Come on, you can sleep later! Just look at this crab!" insisted Marisa, shoving the bucket right in Reimu's face.

Reimu yelped at the sudden close-up of its eyestalks and jagged mandibles. "G-get that away from me!" she screamed, leaping up and clinging to a couple of wooden beams in the ceiling.

Marisa burst out laughing. "Reimu, you've fought the goddess of Hell! Are you seriously afraid of one little crab?!"

"...No. Of course not," said Reimu huffily. "You just surprised me. I have to be ready for action at any moment, so I always react rather intensely to stuff."

"Sure you do," said Marisa, smiling a knowing smile. "Thing is, though, you really need to see this crab from the back."

Marisa turned the bucket around. Reimu's jaw dropped.

"Oh, my gods! It's-! It's-! It's got a face! On its shell!"

A few round lumps on the back of the crab's shell formed a bulbous nose and a stout pair of cheeks. Some thick lines in the carapace formed a curly, grimacing mouth and a furious pair of eyebrows, with a couple of thin, angled whorls standing in for eyes.

"Cool, isn't it?" said Marisa proudly. "I found it curled up inside my fishing boat. It'd nibbled clean through one of the oars!"

"Since when did you have a fishing boat?" said Reimu, completely lost.

Meanwhile, the friendly hermit who definitely wasn't secretly an oni was taking a walk in the Bamboo Forest of the Lost.

"Tra-la-la-la-la-la!" Kasen was singing purely on principle. Komachi would never have bought it as a sincere happy tune, and Kasen wouldn't have blamed her, but she still had to show willing.

"La-la-la! It's a beautiful- oh, forget it." A peaceful walk in the forest was too much fun to ruin by being twee.

Kasen roamed through the cool, quiet maze of bamboo in companionable silence with herself. It really was the perfect day for a walk, and nothing could disturb her in such a maze-like thicket.

"Help! Help! Get it off me!"

Kasen started. A woman was screaming in pain and fear somewhere down the path. "Um, hello? Are you all right?!"

"The crabs are attacking! The crabs are attacking!"

Kasen could only look on in amazement as Mokou came tearing down the shady forest track, pursued by a veritable tide of beige and reddish-brown chitin. A hundred pincers snapped in the air, a thousand legs clicked and clattered on the compacted earth. Mokou's boots and trousers were stained yellowish-blue with the blood of crabs she'd stepped on, and every other bit of her was stained red.

"Good grief..." Kasen took a deep breath. "Dragon Sign: Rage of Skyfire!"

Having just shouted out the name of her attack, Kasen was forced to take another deep breath. After that, however, there was no stopping her. She spat out a blazing-hot ray of concentrated lightning and swept it over the ground in front of the crabs, sending smoke and scorched soil flying into the air. The crustacean army screeched to a halt behind the charred trench.

Safe beside Kasen, Mokou collapsed in a heap on the ground. "Gods, I'm glad you came here... And kind of pissed I didn't think of breathing fire at them, but there we are."

"What in Susano-o's name is going on here, Mokou?! Crabs don't belong in the forest!" cried Kasen.

"I don't know any more than you do. I was just taking a paddle in the stream when a crab decided to pinch my toe. I kicked it into some rapids and moved somewhere else, then a bunch more came swarming out of the woods and tried to nip me to death." Mokou spoke very casually for someone who had just been swarmed by pincer-wielding arthropods. "So I ran for it, and I may have kind of panicked a little..."

"A little. I see." Kasen's face was completely inscrutable. "Why would the crabs want to kill you, though...? It makes sense that they might have wanted to avenge their comrade, but why would she attack you in the first place? Could it be that your feet stank?"

"Yeah, maybe..." Mokou unlaced one of her boots and took a sniff. "Oh, gods! Eeurgh! That's rank!" Eyes watering, she put the boot back on as fast as she could. "Better than before I washed them, though..."

"I'm glad to hear it," said Kasen earnestly. "We need to do something about these crabs, though. I'll go and talk to the shrine maiden-"

"Hey, Kasen! Mokou!"

"Oh, Amaterasu, it's the bossy hermit..."

Marisa and Reimu were strolling along the path, the former holding a wooden bucket and the latter looking as if she'd rather be anywhere else.

"Marisa and Reimu! There's something strange going on with the crabs-" began Kasen.

"Forget that, check out this crab I found in my boat!" Marisa ran over to Kasen and shoved the bucket in her face.

"You... have a boat? Wait, the crab has a face on its shell?!" Kasen shook her head to settle her muddled thoughts. "That's not a good sign. Marisa, where exactly-"

"Oh, my days! Look at all the crabs!" gasped Reimu, noticing the crab legion clamouring in front of them.

"Eh? There's more than one?" Marisa looked up from her bucket. Her jaw dropped. "HOLY SHIT CRABS FOR DAYS WHAT IN THE NAME OF-!"

"Let me see yours," Mokou interrupted. She leaned over the bucket. "Yeah, that's definitely a shell shaped like a- AAARGH!"

With a piercing battle cry, Marisa's captive crab leapt onto Mokou's face and started pinching at everything it could grab hold of. Emboldened, the legion of crabs surged forwards over the rapidly-cooling trench.

Kasen wrenched the crab away from Mokou's face, making her scream in pain as her nose stretched to breaking point. Kasen threw the crab into the midst of its comrades.

"Retreat to my place! The crabs'll never find us there!" ordered Kasen. She leapt into the air and soared away, only looking back when she was almost among the clouds to make sure her friends were following.

"It probably won't surprise you to learn that those were no ordinary crabs."

Kasen, Reimu, Marisa and Mokou had gathered in Kasen's airy living room for tea and fruit salad, with a little debriefing on the side.

"They are known as heikegani," Kasen went on. "The spirits of ancient warriors who perished on the sea, reincarnated as crabs who still carry the fury of their human forebears."

"Oh, you mean the angry faces?" said Marisa.

"Exactly."

Reimu chewed thoughtfully on a slice of pineapple. "I don't understand why they'd have such a grudge against Mokou. She's never exactly positioned herself as an enemy of crabs."

"I am kind of a noblewoman, though," Mokou reminded them. "Maybe the samurai who turned into the heikegani were enemies of the Fujiwara clan..."

"Indeed we are!"

The four heroines gasped dramatically in perfect unison. A tall, heavy-set woman had kicked down the door and was now strolling into the room, decked out in crimson samurai armour and claw-like gauntlets.

"I will never forget the day the Taira clan was humiliated by your sniveling Fujuwara ensemble. Hundreds of us, all dead, and for what?! So you idiots could live to feud and murder another day?!"

"Um, weren't the Minamoto clan your main rivals?" said Mokou.

The heikegani lady's face went red. "Sh-shut up! You don't know a thing about our history!"

"I was there, you idiot. I'm Fujiwara no Mokou, daughter of Fujiwara no Fuhito, and probably the last surviving member of his clan. I know who the Tairas' main rivals were. Are. Whatever."

"Well, you're my rival now, got it?! And that witch, with her mighty battleship! I must have it!" snapped the heikegani. "Prepare to die!"

Kasen sprang up from her chair. Her bandaged arm blazed with pink light as she swung it repeatedly into the heikegani's head.

"Ow! Ow! Stop! Please! I'm sorry!" the heikegani wailed. "Stop hitting me! I thought the spell-card rules were sacred!"

"She's more the fighting game type," said Reimu, taking a casual sip of her tea.

Heikegani are a real species of crab, complete with angry, stylised samurai face designs on their shells. Genuinely. Legend has it that heikegani are the spirits of Taira clan samurai who were defeated at the Battle of Dan-no-ura. In reality, they probably evolved their human-like faces to dissuade people from eating them.

By the way, the crab woman wasn’t talking complete nonsense when she mentioned Marisa’s battleship. There is an actual Japanese warship called "Kirisame". Those North Koreans had better not try anything, ze: http://www.seaforces.org/marint/Japan-Maritime-Self-Defense-Force/Destroyer/Murasame-class_DAT/DD-104-JDS-Kirisame.htm