#angry eyebrows | 12th doctor

[rpwithoutlimit]

Me looking back on old RPs and remembering how adorable things were

@immortaljackal: Layla and The (12th) Doctor - Moodboard

[stelliyue-cafe]

╰┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄╮

꒰🕰꒱ [ 𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞 ] Another Chance

꒰📦꒱ [ 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 ] On your final adventure together, the TARDIS landed where it all started. Perhaps this time, the Doctor would be given another chance.

꒰☕️꒱ [ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫/𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ] 12th Doctor x Fem! Reader

꒰📔꒱ [ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ] Angst, lol. Swearing. This hasn't been edited since I last posted it in 2020.

꒰🌟꒱ [ 𝐌𝐞𝐢’𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 ] A repost from an olddd blog. The beginning is the ending from the "Kill the Moon" episode but at a different time and moon. The ending kind of gives off "The End of Time Part 2" vibes. I just wanted more 12th Doctor fanfics. I love my angry Scotsman XD

"I nearly didn't press that button. I nearly got it wrong. That was you, the one I-" (Y/N) paused, "my dearest friend, making me scared. Making me feel like a bloody idiot."

"Language," The Doctor scolded.

"Oh, don't you ever tell me to mind my language. And don't you dare lump me in with the rest of the little humans that you think are so silly and predictable. You walk our Earth, you breathe our air. You make us your friend. You make us trust you- love you even. So that is your moon too. And you can damn well help us when we need it." She ranted.

"I was helping." He said quietly.

"What, by clearing off?"

"Yes."

"Yeah? Then clear off!" Her voice echoed. "Go on. You can clear off. Get back in your lonely- your lonely bloody TARDIS and you don't come back."

The Doctor and (Y/N) stared at each other, the tension high. "(Y/N)-" He said in a hushed tone.

She ignored him and walked towards the TARDIS doors. He quickly followed her, "(Y/N)!" The Doctor said more assertively. With his arm stretched out, he caught hold of her wrist to which she turned around and stared at their hands.

'In another situation, I would've been over the moon.' She thought. The warm feeling of someone's palm cradling her cheek broke her away from her thoughts. Slightly shaking her head, the Doctor set his hand down to his side. She looked up to meet his gaze. His eyes told stories of the universe, yet held more mysteries than gave answers. These were the eyes that belonged to someone she'd learned to love.

"You go away, okay? You go a long way away," (Y/N) said bitterly, removing her wrist from his grasp. She turned and continued her way to the door, slamming it behind her when she exited the TARDIS.

━━━━━━•✦.✧.☾.✧.✦•━━━━━

The TARDIS materialized in a forest near a building structure. The surrounding area was a pleasant setting. People were walking and talking, kids playing on the streets and a lovely autumn breeze was passing through. The Doctor stepped out with (Y/N) following after him. It was around noon, but due to the autumn weather, the sky was sort of cloudy.

“Huh, I was hoping for something more exciting… like the Orient Express.” He muttered, rubbing his hands together.

(Y/N) looked around. Her eyes started to tear up as she felt a wave of nostalgia sweep over her. This was the library near the orphanage where she grew up. That library was where her thirst for knowledge and love for writing emerged. This was where a woman told her a story about a madman who traveled through time and space, all alone in his blue box-

“Why are we here?” The Doctor asked, his eyes surveying the area.

She sniffed and wiped the tear falling down her cheek, “The TARDIS takes us to where we need to be, remember?”

His eyebrows furrowed, “Seems so... ordinary.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, “Come on, we need to head over to that building.” She said walking past him and heading over to the library.

“What? Why?” He asked as he walked briskly to catch up with her.

━━━━━━•✦.✧.☾.✧.✦•━━━━━

Shifting in the storyteller’s chair, she thought of all the stories she was going to tell the children. “Gather around children. Let me tell you about a madman who travels throughout time and space in his ancient blue box.” (Y/N) said as the children sat down in front of her, the Doctor sitting in the back of the crowd but still listening.

“Here… let me tell you a story about one of his adventures…” She tapped the bottom of her chin playfully. “Hm… Let me tell you about the Fires of Pompeii!” She said quietly, yet still in an exciting way. The group of children stared up at her in awe as her storytelling skills were theatrical and very engaging.

She mimicked an old conversation between the Doctor and one of his companions, “What? You’re in charge?” (Y/N) said in a harsh tone, looking up at the imaginary Doctor.

She stepped to the opposite side, “TARDIS. Time Lord. Yeah!” She said, acting out the Doctor’s actions and movements.

(Y/N) hopped back to her original place, “Donna. Human. No!” She sassed.

A rupture of soft laughs and giggles filled the storytelling area as she continued to tell the story of how this Time Lord caused Mount Vesuvius to erupt. (Y/N) continued to tell the stories of the Doctor’s adventures and though he would never admit it- he adored the way she was able to make any story interesting. So there he sat, behind the children, until he couldn’t anymore since he needed to stretch his legs.

As she settled down, The Doctor was now leaning against the bookshelf behind her. She started, “As you can see, he’s saved many lives, planets, and universes, but what he didn’t expect was to fall in love somewhere in between all his heroic deeds-”

“Don’t try to paint me as some love-sick hero, (Y/N).” He said, interrupting her sentence.

This caused her to look back and glare at him, “I’m telling the story.”

The Doctor sighed and sat down next to her. Though he lived through these adventures, he wanted to know what it sounded like from the other perspective. He wanted to know what it sounded like to travel alongside the Doctor.

(Y/N) cleared her throat and turned her attention back to the children, “As I said earlier, this man had many companions. All of them were beautiful and brilliant in their own way, but in the end, he traveled alone.”

“Why? What happened to them? The companions?” A girl asked.

Her eyes looked straight in the girl’s direction and smiled. (Y/N) knew that face anywhere- it was her as a kid. ‘How’s that for changing your personal history, eh, Doctor?’

She hummed, glancing over at the Doctor. His face was stoic, but his eyes told a different story. “They left,” She looked back at the children, “Because they should. Or they find someone else. And some of them… some of them forget him.” A pause.

“What were their names?”

“Maybe we can find them and tell them to travel with him again!”

“Yeah! So he won’t be so lonely anymore!”

(Y/N) smiled, “I don’t know all of his companions or their real names, but I could name a few. There was… Bad Wolf girl, the tech guy, the time travel captain, the medical doctor, the girl who wanted to see the stars, the runaway bride, the old man who watched over him, the girl who waited, the last centurion, the love of his life, and the impossible girl. But there was one companion who saw him through it all,” She paused.

“Thing is, I-” This Freudian slip caused the Doctor to pay closer attention to her words. “I mean, she was his companion before the impossible girl. She was there before he married and lost the love of his life. And she was there even before Bad Wolf girl.”

(Y/N) let out a sigh, “Ten years of her life spent traveling with the madman and all his other companions. Though it took her a while to realize it, she fell in love with him.” Scattered gasps suddenly filled the silence.

The Doctor’s gaze was fully on (Y/N). ‘She loves me…? No… That can’t be. She deserves so much more than this… She deserves so much more than me.’

“She loved him so much that she watched him fall in and out of love with others. Love makes you do reckless things… And sometimes at the expense of your own happiness.” (Y/N) explained. “She loved him so much that she had to leave him and let him go.” She trailed off, feeling her eyes start to water.

A small gasp escaped the Doctor’s lips. That story was her goodbye. He thought that he would be able to see her- to at least pop in for a visit- but no, she was going to leave. His hearts wanted nothing more than to take her hand and run. Run away and keep on running to another adventure. Anything to make her stay, but he decided against it.

“What happened next?” A child asked.

“He did what he did best...” (Y/N) paused for effect, causing the children to lean forward. The Doctor copied their actions. Of course, he knew the answer but listened anyway. “He hopped into his ancient blue box and ran.”

Mrs. Anderson, the librarian, cleared her throat, “Alright children, storytime is over.” Soft whines and groans erupted from the children. “Come on, off you pop.” Mrs. Anderson said, ushering the children toward their parents. She glanced back to (Y/N) and the Doctor, “Thank you for filling in for our usual storyteller.”

(Y/N) smiled, wiping her eyes, “It was no problem. Thank you for having us.”

“Alright, we should get going.” The Doctor said quickly, before exiting the room. (Y/N) followed before she was stopped at the front door.

“Miss! Wait!” The mini-(Y/N) whispered, walking quickly.

(Y/N) nodded and squatted down to her level, “Yes, dear?”

“This story... is it real?” She asked, in between breaths.

(Y/N) let out a small laugh and smiled, “Stories are where memories go when they’re forgotten.” She said, ruffling her hair before leaving the library.

The Doctor and (Y/N) walked back to the TARDIS. (Y/N) poked her head out the door and winked at the mini-(Y/N) who was still standing by the door. The girl smiled before running back inside.

━━━━━━•✦.✧.☾.✧.✦•━━━━━

The pregnant silence that was in the TARDIS when it landed was the longest the two ever shared. Usually, the two would commence in playful banter. Clara was their mediator and always helped to fill the silence with her laughter, but not this time. This was an issue for the Doctor and (Y/N) to solve on their own.

“I’m sorry for making you play God, (Y/N).” The Doctor said quietly, running his fingers along the console.

“I know you’re sorry. I’ve forgiven you so many times. Doctor... take me home.” (Y/N) replied, her back facing him.

“(Y/N), I can fix this. Just don’t leave. You’ve been there since-“

“Yes! I know I’ve been there! I literally just told a bunch of children about how I felt about you!” (Y/N) cried out, flailing her arms to emphasize her point.

“(Y/N), I-“

“Don’t. You. Dare.” (Y/N) turned to face the Doctor, tears already running down her face. “You don’t get to do this to me. Not here and most certainly not now. Doctor, please let me go home...”

The Doctor, emotionally defeated, gestured to the doors, “We were here before we started talking.” There was nothing he could do to prevent his companion from leaving. She had been running with him ever since their first encounter and now it was time for (Y/N) to break his hearts just as he broke hers.

‘Let me be brave...’ She repeated in her head as she walked toward the doors. (Y/N) opened it and saw that the TARDIS had landed in her bedroom. She looked over her shoulder, “Doctor?”

He looked up at her, his eyes pleading, ‘Stay… ’. “Yes?” He asked.

“I will always remember when your companion was me.” She said, her voice cracking at the end. (Y/N) smiled at him before leaving the TARDIS, shutting the door behind her.

━━━━━━•✦.✧.☾.✧.✦•━━━━━

The Doctor and Clara walked out of the TARDIS to see that they landed in an empty alleyway on Christmas Eve- evidence being the excessive amount of lights and caroling. All seemed normal, but it was quiet... too quiet for the Doctor’s liking.

That’s when a chorus of screams and moans of injured people echoed through the streets. The sound of lasers being shot could also be heard. A woman ran past the alleyway until she was shot down by a laser beam. The Doctor smiled, “Ah, now that’s more like it!”

Clara scoffed, “Doctor, now is not the time to be smiling! We need to help these people!”

“Yes, right.” He said before grabbing Clara’s hand, starting to run out of the alleyway. As they exited the alleyway, a woman had bumped into the Doctor. The woman shook her head then rubbed the shoulder that bumped into the Doctor, “Sorry about that!”

The Doctor looked at her in shock. He couldn’t believe it was (Y/N). Clara gave a soft nudge to wake the Doctor from this trance. “No, it’s quite... alright...”

“Doctor, those are Cybermen... right?” Clara whispered.

He was about to grab (Y/N)’s hand and run, ‘Like old times...’

Suddenly, a man with a leather jacket, big ears, and blue eyes bumped into (Y/N), “Blimey, I’m just a magnet for collisions today...” She said, rubbing her other arm. The new stranger grabbed (Y/N)’s hand, starting to run away from the Doctor and Clara.

They managed about five steps before (Y/N) quickly tugged on the stranger’s hand and looked at him confused, “Who are you?”

The Doctor’s ninth regeneration looked at (Y/N), “I’m the Doctor.”

Clara gasped, finally realizing where they landed, “Doctor this is where you first met (Y/N), right?”

The Doctor turned his head halfway towards Clara and nodded, still keeping his eyes on the scene that was playing in front of him. “The leather was a mistake...” He mumbled.

Instead of understanding, she looked more confused, “I’m sorry. Doctor who...?”

He knew what he had to do, “Doctor!” The Doctor called out to his ninth regeneration. The Doctor’s ninth regeneration looked at the old man and his companion. “Doctor, this one is special. Don’t let this one go.” Nine gave a curt nod. He didn’t know why he could trust the old man, but he just knew he could.

(Y/N) waved their hand in front of the Ninth Doctor’s face, “Hello? Doctor?”

“Yes?” The Doctor and the Ninth regeneration said in unison. A laser beam had missed them by a few feet and ended up hitting a car, “Ah, right,”

“You still never answered my question! Doctor who?”

The Ninth Doctor chuckled, “Exactly. Now run!” He said before taking (Y/N)’s hand in his and running away from the scene.

━━━━━━•✦ Bonus ✦•━━━━━

The Doctor and Clara watched his ninth regeneration and (Y/N) run off in the distance. A small smile was present on his face and Clara caught it.

“Doctor? Were you- Is that a smile I see?” Clara teased.

His smile was quickly replaced with a scowl. “What? No. I don’t smile.” He said crossing his arms over his chest.

Clara nudged him, “Don’t be like that. Admit it, you like her~”

The Doctor scoffed and made his way back to the TARDIS, “I don’t do feelings, Clara. That’s why I kept you and (Y/N) around. You were both my carers, so I don’t have to.”

Clara matched the Doctor’s pace, still carrying the conversation, “So what happens now? In our timeline, she left us.”

“I really can’t say for sure..”

They reached the TARDIS doors, both hesitant to enter. The Doctor rested his hand on the door, “I don’t know if I had changed anything.”

“Well,” She set her hand to the side of his, “There’s only one way for us to find out.”

“Clara, don’t get your hopes up-“

She interrupted him, by pushing the door. Her eyes looked around the console room, “(Y/N)?”

“See? We didn’t do much.” The Doctor said, walking in after her.

Clara pouted slightly, “I really thought you made a difference…”

The Doctor walked over to the console and started pulling levers and pressing buttons. His face remained emotionless, a little disappointed at the results. He wondered what happened between that moment and now that caused (Y/N) to not be there. ‘I thought I would be smart enough to listen to myself given the fact that I talk to myself all the time..’

A sudden echo from the top steps had caught their attention.

“Hey! Where have you been?! I leave you two alone for five minutes and when I get back there’s one less Scotsman and companion!” A woman’s voice scolded.

The Doctor and Clara look at the top of the stairs to see (Y/N) standing there, a tad bit angry.

Clara gasped, “(Y/N)! You’re here!”

(Y/N) walked down the stairs to join them on the main floor. “Of course, I’m here. Why wouldn’t I be- Oh!” She was interrupted by a tight hug. “Clara?” She questioned, looking down at the brunette.

“Shh, just enjoy it,” Clara said, hugging her a little tighter. (Y/N) smiled and returned the hug.

When Clara let go, there was an awkward silence between The Doctor and (Y/N). Clara looked back and forth between them and groaned in annoyance, “I’m not letting this happen again.” She said as she pushed the two closer together. “Now make up!”

(Y/N) looked up at the Doctor and blushed lightly. The Doctor, on the other hand, was sceptical. “Tell me something that only the real (Y/N) would know.”

She nodded and took a step closer to him. In response, he took a step back which only prompted (Y/N) to step even closer. She lifted her hand to cup his cheek. Though his mind fought against it, he leaned into her touch. It was always so warm and loving.

“To the universe, Doctor…?”

With those words, his hearts began to race. This was truly his (Y/N). And that moment was one of those rare times where he allowed himself to show his emotions. He let out a sigh of relief and hugged her. (Y/N) stood in shock for a moment before melting in his embrace, wrapping her arms around The Doctor she loved so much.

“Hey! For everyone else it’s “I’m not a hugging person” but when it’s (Y/N) you go all soft?” Clara teased.

The Doctor pulled away from the hug, now holding (Y/N) by her shoulders. Disregarding Clara’s comment, he looked at the woman who piqued his interests since he first met her. He smiled and leaned in close to kiss her forehead. He then looked down lovingly to see the (E/C) eyes that held her own galaxy.

“To the universe, (Y/N)... To the universe.”

stelliyue-cafe © 2022 | all content and its rights belong to me. please do not modify or repost.

[drapetxmaniia]

YOUR CHARACTER:  IN 5 QUOTES

tell us your favourite quotes from your character. give us an idea of who they are by five things they’ve said. then tag your friends.

1.  “Think you've seen it all? Think again. Outside those doors, we might see anything. We could find new worlds, terrifying monsters, impossible things. And if you come with me... nothing will ever be the same again!”

2.  “The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don't always spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”

3.  “There's something you better understand about me, 'cause it's important and one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a madman with a box!“

4. “YOU — ARE — MY — ENEMY. AND I AM YOURS! You are everything I despise. The worst thing in all creation. I have defeated you time and time again. I have defeated you. I have sent you back into the Void. I have saved the whole of reality from you. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!”

5. “Winning? Is that what you think it’s about? I’m not trying to win. I'm not doing this because I want to beat someone — or because I hate someone, or because I want to blame someone. It’s not because it’s fun. God knows it’s not because it's easy. It’s not even because it works, because it hardly ever does. I do what I do because it's right! Because it's decent! And above all, it's kind! It's just that. Just kind. If I run away today, good people will die. If I stand and fight, some of them might live — maybe not many, maybe not for long. Hey, maybe there’s no point in any of this at all, but it's the best I can do. So I'm going to do it, and I will stand here doing it until it kills me. You're going to die, too, someday. When will that be? Have you thought about it? What would you die for? Who I am is where I stand. Where I stand is where I fall. Stand with me. These people are terrified. Maybe we can help a little. Why not, just at the end, just be kind?”

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tagged by: @vortexparadox​

tagging: anyone who wants to do the thing~*

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BONUS: (cause i love this bit, tho its the saddest and i love 12): 

Oh, there it is, silly old universe. The more I save it the more it needs saving. It's a treadmill... Yes, yes I know they'll get it all wrong without me. Well, I suppose one more lifetime won't kill anyone... well, except me. You wait a moment, Doctor! Let's get it right. I've got a few things to say to you. Basic stuff first: never be cruel, never be cowardly, and never-ever eat pears! Remember, hate is always foolish, and love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind. Oh, and you mustn't tell anyone your name. No one would understand it anyway... except... except children. Children can hear it, sometimes, if their hearts are in the right place, and the stars are too, children can hear your name. But nobody else. Nobody else, ever. Laugh hard, run fast, be kind. Doctor, I let you go.

[universe-on-her-shoulders]

'Words are his weapons' - The 7th, 10th and 12th Doctors go full Scottish to shame a powerless Rassilion much to the confusion of the Time Lords.

"No," the Doctor said sternly, staring at his younger counterpart with considerable dislike. Had he always been so... peppy? And what was with the impractically long coat? He could still remember the feeling of it, sodden and sticking to the back of his legs, or stiff with frost as he'd trekked through forests and tundras; it had got underfoot, and become muddy and heavy, and caused no end of problems, and for what? The sheer look of it? Thank goodness he'd grown out of the age of impractical jackets, although at least he'd kept the height; the youngest of them all was staring up at them from what seemed like several metres of height difference, his expression one of great envy. The Doctor was reminded abruptly of Clara, and suppressed the urge to laugh. "Stop it."

"Stop what?" the tall, energetic one asked, seeming affronted by the mere question; he ran a hand through his hair with an air of self-consciousness. "I'm not doing anything, I'm just standing here waiting to confront Rassilon, exactly the same as you!"

"Stop talking like that, laddie," the shorter one counselled, patting him on the shoulder in a paternal manner. "It's embarrassing."

"Stop talking like what?" he sounded genuinely wounded by the accusation. It was quite sweet really.

"All..." the two Scots exchanged a look of great disdain. "English. It's embarrassing."

"Lots of planets have an England!" he protested, then grimaced at once. "That... that sounded better in my head. Although the aggressive colonisation of the Second British Empire-"

"Don't try to distract us," the Doctor said sternly, raising his eyebrows. "The accent. Drop it. Now."

The youngster sighed heavily, and then said in a broad Scottish accent: "Is this better? Are you happy now?"

The two older Doctors let out a muted cheer, and exchanged an uncharacteristic high-five. "Much," the shorter said. "So much better."

"Three angry Scots?" the taller grinned. "Rassilon hasn't got a chance."

[cherryao3nova]

He frowns at her. “No I don’t. And if I do, it’s because your the only other competent person in the room other then myself... I only take the best.”

He didn’t act differently. Did he? He never noticed it before.

drapetxmaniia‌:

“Nothing, just surprised.” He brushed it off quickly, moving onto the other subject.

“And I do let people laugh… we laugh, quite a lot. Especially after a very dangerous adventure, those are always the best.”

for a second, clara hesitates to reply. that, however, truly does only last one second. she is clara oswald, after all, and she will say what she thinks. most times.

“but it’s different. you’re different… with me.”

[shifty-looking-sheep]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard Characters: Female Shepard, Kaidan Alenko, Garrus Vakarian, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, Liara T'Soni, Jeff "Joker" Moreau, Urdnot Wrex, Admiral Hackett, Dr Chakwas, Engineer Adams Additional Tags: Post-War, Destroy Ending (Mass Effect), Happy Ending, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Speeches, Embarrassment, friends teasing, Reminiscing, Reminiscing about Normandy SR1, Post-Mass Effect 3, Friends notice everything, Teasing

Summary:

Shepard wasn't scared to commit; it was the actual wedding she was scared of, and now she realised why.

The crew of the SR1 show that they were paying attention more than Shepard and Kaidan had previously thought.

It took a full year for her to give in. Not that she didn’t want to commit; she’d been committed way before she admitted it to herself, and years before she admitted it to him; sometime between her throwing him out of the way of the beacon on Eden Prime, and seeing the blush creep up his neck as she came to speak to him after Noveria. A really long time. It was the actual wedding she was scared of, and now she realised why.

“So, the crew of the SR1 realised Shepard was interested in Lieutenants pretty early on.”

Snorts of laughter wafted over from a table of Normandy crew. Kaidan’s mum giggled from the other end of the top table. But most worrying of all, she could see that Admiral Hackett had raised an eyebrow.

Dr Chakwas continued, apparently unconcerned by the horrified look etched onto Shepard’s face.

“I believe I was there right at the beginning. The ground team had just returned from Eden Prime; the Commander had been injured and was out cold. The then-Lieutenant hadn’t left her side, of course. When she came to, they had a who-can-apologise-the-most competition, until the Commander told the Lieutenant that he had nothing to apologise for, and his face did something like this…”

The doctor waited for everyone’s attention before pulling a ridiculous, eyebrow-raised flirty face. Kaidan groaned and hid his face behind his hand. Shepard couldn’t help but smirk at the memory.

“And then, the next day, the Commander came back to the med bay to ask what I knew about the Lieutenant, in a ridiculous fake-nonchalant tone,” Dr Chakwas affected a Shepard-like low voice while twisting her hair between her fingers. “Um, so, er, what can you tell me about the Lieutenant, you know, professionally, or, you know, whatever.”

Garrus snorted some of his drink out of his nose, while Shepard sunk a little lower in her seat. Kaidan turned an amused eye to her and cocked his head. “Subtle, Jane, “ he breathed, looking slyly satisfied with himself.

“So, I quickly caught her up on what being an L2 was like, and the medical support I needed to offer for his migraines etc. and she pulled a face like she’d just seen a puppy with three legs.” The doctor exaggeratedly exhaled and batted her eyelashes. “And that’s how I was the first one on the SR1 to find out that there was something going on between them.”

Dr Chakwas sat back down at her table as the laughter started dying down. Shepard gave her what she hoped was an angry glare, but the doctor just winked in return.

“Thanks Karin, but I don’t think you can count raised eyebrows as the start of a relationship. I was the one who saw that.”

Adams had just stood up and flashed an uncharacteristically mischievous grin to the waiting crowd. A low groan escaped the bride’s lips. "Shit", she thought, "him as well?"

“Let me tell you a little about the Normandy SR1’s oxygen recycling mechanism-“

James loudly booed and aimed a dinner roll at Adams’ head, which he smartly sidestepped. Instead, it narrowly missed Jack, who shot daggers at James as he sat back in his chair, shaking his head.

“It’s on a closed system, separate to life support and the first three back-up systems. Essentially, it can’t fail, requires no maintenance, and is so far down an engineer’s list of priorities that they didn’t even feel the need to install the panel on the engineering deck. They just shoved it in a corner of the crew deck where it could be safely forgotten about. This corner happened to be outside the CO’s quarters… Which brings me to exhibit A, Major Alenko’s SR1 work logs.”

Shepard heard Kaidan sharply inhale. She turned to take in his sheepish expression as he guiltily rubbed the back of his neck. Adams had pulled up a document on his omnitool and had started to read from it.

“Monday 6th – 1100-1200 hours – maintenance: oxygen recycling. Tuesday 7th – 1400-1600 hours – maintenance: oxygen recycling. Wednesday 8th – 0900-1000 hours and 1700-1830 hours. You guessed it. Thur-“

One of Kaidan’s sisters was leaning forward to try to catch Kaidan’s eye, grinning and shaking her head. The light giggling from the guests was rising in volume.

“Sunday 12th – 0800-1100 hours – suspected power drainage issue in oxygen recycling system. Sunday 12th – 1200-1300 hours – power drainage issue confirmed as false alarm.”

Joker, swinging back on his chair, rolled his eyes. “Wow, this is embarrassing for you, eh Major? Shepard, did you realise you just married your stalker?”

Kaidan pinched the bridge of his nose and clamped his eyes shut in what looked to be a futile attempt to will himself to the other side of the galaxy, rather than the onset of a migraine. Shepard patted his arm in what she hoped was a supportive manner, but couldn’t contain a burst of laughter as Adams continued.

“Wednesday 23rd – 0700 hours… Major, seriously? Did you actually get any work done on this mission?”

Kaidan groaned and attempted to lower himself so far down his chair as to be invisible to the room.

“Oh no you don’t,” admonished Shepard, grabbing an elbow and dragging him back upright. “‘Celebrate our love’ you said. ‘We need everyone there with us’ you insisted. This one’s on you, Mr Weddings-are-fun.”

“It’s not too late to elope,” he whispered back. “You call the skycar and I’ll meet you outside in five after swinging by the gift table.”

“And that’s how I knew about their relationship before anyone else,” concluded Adams, with a half bow.

The majority of the applause came from a table near the back of the room with a bunch of Kaidan’s friends and squadmates from Biotics Division. Gaining some respect back when he returned to work after the honeymoon was looking like it might be tricky.

“Gonna have to disagree with you there Adams,” Wrex said as he stood up, awkwardly adjusting the collar on his actually rather dapper formal attire.

Shepard involuntarily groaned just as the room went quiet, causing eighty pairs of mischievously laughing eyes to sweep right over to her. "Is everyone from the SR1 going to take a turn at this", she thought, angrily, then froze mid-thought. "Oh goddess, they were, weren’t they!"

“I was definitely the first to notice these two were at it. Or at least that they wanted to be at it. It was… uncomfortable,” he rumbled.

“Oi, Commander!” shouted Jack, mouth full of chocolate mousse. “Didn’t know you had it in you! My girl was getting some on the job!”

Shepard turned an unflattering shade of brick red, which clashed nastily with her flaming hair, falling in waves about her face (Tali had insisted that she ‘do her hair’, but Shepard couldn’t wait to throw it into a ponytail later).

“I took to sparring with Kaidan back in those days. Only other Biotic on the ship, pretty worthy partner, for a human. Not much room on the old Normandy though, had Garrus and Ashley down in the shuttle bay with us as an audience, but they were usually busy with their own stuff.”

“Oh no!” breathed Shepard, a shame-filled, indulgent memory floating up to the surface of her mind and burning her cheeks. Kaidan turned and raised an eyebrow.

“…but I noticed that Shepard seemed to be down there weirdly often when the sparring was going on. Taking notes maybe? Spotting, in case the battlemaster squashed a crewmate.” Wrex seemed excited at this thought, and slammed a fist into his palm. Bakara tutted next to him and put a hand on his arm to bring him back to the moment. “Anyway, I realised she wasn’t watching the fighting, hurhurhurr, she was watching the squishy crewmate, hurhurhurr.

“I guessed she was worried about me hurting the pretty Lieutenant , so I spoke to Ashley, and she said ‘Don’t sweat it, Krogan, it’s not you she’s imagining naked’.”

Traynor sprayed half a glass of champagne across the table before she could clasp her hand over her mouth. Everyone was howling at this point, spurred on by Wrex’s deep guffawing. Shepard’s eyes betrayed her and slipped over to look at Hackett. ‘Everyone was howling’ was an exaggeration; the Admiral looked pained. Shit. Shitshitshit…

“So sure, humans, you might have seen some warm-up, but I knew when it got serious enough for Shepard to start ogling.”

Kaidan’s hand darted out and caught Shepard as she made her break for under the table. “Ah ah ah,” he mocked. “If I’m not escaping, you’re not escaping. For better, for worse, dearest wifey.”

Shepard growled and sat back grudgingly. She’d feel better if she was in her armour; in armour she could face anything. This dress was just discomfort on top of discomfort.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Kaidan whispered in her ear. “But no, drugging all of our wedding guests and running off to live on Omega is out of the question. Well, until we hear what’s next…”

"Next?! There couldn’t be more, could there?" Shepard silently pleaded.

“These eyes don’t miss much – I was a vigilante sniper, after all. Clearly, I caught the real start of this first,” purred Garrus, waving his hand in the direction of the newly-weds.

Kaidan and Shepard flicked back to face each other. “OK, you put the drugs in the champagne bottles, I’ll call the shuttle,” said Kaidan out of the corner of his mouth. Hell, she loved this man.

“Snipers lurk on the edges of the battlefield, they see everything, and keep an eye on their squadmates. Which was lucky for Shepard and Kaidan, since they weren’t always focused on the bad guys.”

“WHAT?!” Shepard slammed both palms onto the table, pulling back her shoulders and giving Garrus her best battlefield stare. Sadly, he knew he had the upper hand, and besides, intimidation is much harder when you’re wobbling on your heels after three glasses of champagne and a sneaky ryncol.

“Woah, Shepard, touched a nerve? That’s more than you touched on Daratar where I had to shoot three smugglers who almost got the drop on you while you were ‘entranced’ watching Kaidan warping.”

“That is so untrue!” she complained, a little too high-pitched for her liking. Kaidan grinned and mouthed “really, Jane?” which didn’t escape Garrus’ notice.

“Oh, buckle-up Alenko, I’ve pulled your ass out of the fire more times than Shepard’s. The mines on Nepmos? You had two Rachni soldiers on you while you were busy gawping at Shepard’s melee prowess.”

“Slander!”

Kaidan joined Shepard’s indignant pose behind the top table.

Garrus chuckled almost malevolently. “OK, OK, I didn’t mean to suggest that earth’s best and brightest can’t handle themselves in a fight, simply that without Palaven’s finest around they might be sporting a few more scars in their wedding photos.”

At the phrase ‘Palaven’s finest’, Tali groaned and lifted her head up as if rolling her eyes, a gesture which set Liara off into a fit of uncharacteristically girly giggling.

“Clearest time though, after clearing out some Cerberus mercenaries on a drifting freighter. All focussed during the firefight, sure, but afterwards…”

Shepard cast her mind back… she couldn’t remember what Garrus might have been referring to.

“The perps had hidden gas cannisters around the ship, and the love-birds thought they’d make finding them all into a race. They’re running around giggling like school kids, shouting across the room every time they find one, completely forgetting that I’m there. Then suddenly, I hear this crash, like twisted metal, along with a yelp, and I figure they’ve gotten themselves in trouble, so I walk around a pile of crates in the direction of the sound, and guess what I see…”

Several suggestions were shouted out, but Garrus managed to ignore them, and the subsequent laughter. “They’d both ‘fallen over’,” he continued, using air quotes. “I guess they’d run smack into each other, but they were making no attempt to get up – just staring at each other through their visors, faces bright red, with Alenko’s hands on the Commander’s hips as she’s fallen on top of him. I had to VERY LOUDLY clear my throat to snap them out of it. I’m not sure what they were thinking of doing with all that armour on, but hey, good for them. Anyway, I think that proves that I knew something was going on before any-“

“That’s enough Vakarian,” laughed Tali, as she bumped him out of the way with her hip. “I have clear evidence of something going on in the SR1 days, not just longing looks.

“I was on my pilgrimage. Never been away from the flotilla before, never been around humans, and I really didn’t know anything about human bodies.”

Kaidan mouthed “Bodies?” and developed a worried look while Tali continued.  

“Since I was so nervous, and new to everything, a couple of crew members took me under their wing, mainly Adams, who was so kind to me, talking to me about the ship and the drive core, and Kaidan, who acted a bit like a big brother, coming to check on me and making sure I was doing OK.”

Shepard flashed Kaidan an affectionate smile.

“Well, I thought he was checking on me.”

Shepard’s smile froze.

“Anyway, these ‘check-ins’ seemed to link up to when Shepard was down in the cargo bay talking to the crew in-between missions. When she made it into engineering, Kaidan would go discuss something with the ensign, or Adams, then come back to chat to me about omnitools or laugh at my favourite vids. But he was never that focussed on the conversation if Shepard was leaving.”

“Ohhhhh,” Kaidan made a pained noise and hid his head behind his hands. “No no no no no…”

“So I thought, maybe it was a human custom to watch your superior officer’s hips as they leave a room, and so I asked him.”

Kaidan made a noise like a dying animal, but it was drowned out by the tidal wave of laughter, much of it coming from Vega and Cortez, one of whom shouted “L2, you dork!”

“Well, he turned completely red,” Tali practically shouted, trying to continue the story despite the general furore. “I’d never seen a human do that, but naturally, being Quarian, I thought he must be running a fever, so I backed up quickly (worried I was going to catch something), and said, a little too loudly, ‘Woah, you look hot Lieutenant’, which-“

Tali’s next words were lost in the cry-laughing erupting around the room. Adams was clutching his chest almost as if he was in pain.

“OK, OK, haha, calm down guys. Anyway, I told Kaidan that he looked hot, and Shepard was still in the room, and she whipped around so quick, smirked, looked Kaidan up and down, and left. Ten seconds later, my omnitool pings: ‘Yes, he does, but back off Tali, this one’s mine!’.”

Garrus whistled, and Vega yelled “Caught red-handed Lola!”

“So, I think I win, since I actually have written evidence from the SR1 days. Eat that, Bosh’tets!”

“I have better than that”. Joker, rather than stand up, leaned back in his chair and made an exaggerated gesture of resting his hands behind his head. “I was the one running the betting pool on when they’d get together, and I know exactly when that happened because I’m the one who won.”

Shepard and Kaidan turned to one another and simultaneously repeated “betting pool?”.

“Admiral Hackett, sir, I’m guessing anything said at a wedding stays at a wedding, Vegas-style?”

“You have my word, Mister Moreau,” the Admiral chimed in, in mock-seriousness.

“So, we opened the books a few days before we arrived on Therum. The signs were all there – Lover-boy here making cow eyes at the Commander in the mess; those looooong chats after each mission. Seriously, it felt like the Normandy had turned into the Love Boat.”

“Joker, stop exaggerating.” Liara, stepping up to her maid of honour duties, had an eye on the Admiral and his reactions. Thank the Goddess for Liara, Shepard thought. That’s one wedding tradition she was glad she’d followed (Tali had forced her, refusing to attend if Shepard didn’t name bridesmaids).

“Oh, now T’Soni speaks up,” said Joker. “I’m sure you have something juicy to add to this discussion.”

“A friend doesn’t break a confidence, Joker. What kind of information broker would it make me if I revealed everyone’s secrets?” Liara answered, with a wink to the top table.

Joker waved her answer away and continued. “Anyway, Susi and Johnson both bet on them not getting it on until shore leave, the innocents. I thought Pressly might write me up when he came over and mentioned the pool, I mean, I thought I was toast, but then he just said ‘I’ll put my credits on it being a solar month’. Miles out.”

Kaidan took Shepard’s hand under the table and gently squeezed at the mention of some of their fallen colleagues. It still hurt. It would never not hurt, but it also felt good to hear Joker recount stories about them so animatedly.

“You were in, weren’t you Adams?” Joker hollered over his shoulder.

“Yeah, and you took me for 20 credits!”

“After every mission, crew would rock up to change their bet. Hell, at one point I had 30 credits on them getting it on in the back of the mako on Noveria and blaming it on ‘sharing body heat’, but that 30 credits went to hell. Anyway,” Joker continued. “Eventually, I got the evidence I needed to win my original bet. Cam footage of the mess hall with a clear view of the Commander’s quarters. 1500 hours - Alenko walks in. 2100 hours – Commander walks out, alone, grinning. Fifteen minutes later, out slopes Alenko, looking more than a little dishevelled and extremely pleased with himself.”

Wolf whistles echoed around the room, and someone, presumably Donnelly, shouted “Get in there my son!”

“And all this happened to occur exactly when I’d bet it would: ‘The night before we catch up with Saren’.”

Joker took an awkward bow, since he was still in his seat. “Thank you, thank you, I’m available for Tarot readings, predicting numbers for the Illium lottery, and picking auspicious names for your future children.”

Tali made her eye-rolling head movement again. “Joker, you are so self-satisfied, if you were made of chocolate, you’d eat yourself.”

Shepard hadn’t heard what Tali said though. She was too busy exploring a niggling feeling she had, just out of reach in her memory, connected to Joker.

“So that’s why you interrupted us!” she exploded. Springing out of her chair and throwing the accusation before she’d had time to consider the consequences. Now everyone was looking at her expectantly, and the explanation needed to be good before everyone started imagining that Joker had walked in on her and Kaidan in a compromising position.

“Just after the ship was grounded, I was at the lockers and Kaidan came over, and we nearly kissed, except you jumped on the comm just before we did.”

Several members of the original SR1 crew snapped their heads over to Joker’s direction, and there was an audible intake of breath from O’Reilly.

“That would have meant I won!” He shouted. “You owe me, flyboy!”

“Not a chance,” Joker retorted, though with an undercurrent of panic. “All’s fair in love and gambling.”

“Let’s move on, shall we, ladies and gentlemen.”

Hackett had risen from his seat, brushing his sleeves absentmindedly before settling into parade rest. “I think I may have something of note to add.”

The laughter, shouting, and general hubbub of the party was extinguished in a nanosecond. Joker’s eyes were practically popping out of his head. James let out a low whistle, but was quickly silenced by Cortez jabbing him in the ribs.

Hackett cleared his throat and shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Is he nervous?" thought Shepard. "Oh hell, how bad is this going to be if an admiral of the Alliance navy is nervous to say it?"

“Three days after the battle of the Citadel, I received an interesting message from Major Alenko, which I’m very glad I chose to ignore.”

The colour completely drained from Kaidan’s face.

“I forget the details…” the Admiral trailed off, but with an ever-so-slightly mischievous smile. “Something about falling in love… any fraternization implications being entirely his fault… Commander Shepard being an exemplary officer who had just saved the whole galaxy, and shouldn’t be punished for a minor infraction… being prepared to take any and all consequences... some kind of offer of resignation… Naturally, I decided to deny all knowledge of receiving such a missive.”

Kaidan had turned to Shepard and was giving his extremely-serious-apology face, clearly expecting her rage at the idea that he’d confessed to complicating the chain of command without discussing it with her. However, Shepard’s facial expression wasn’t angry at all. Instead, she looked contrite – she knew what was coming next.

“I’d just decided to delete the message from the Major when, to my absolute shock, a second message comes through.”

Confusion bloomed on Kaidan’s face, until he looked over at Shepard and froze, then it morphed into a Cheshire cat grin as realisation dawned.

“This second message was remarkably similar to the first one, but with a few key differences. There was something about Lieutenant Alenko being the future of the Alliance… amazing example to other Biotics, blah blah blah… all untoward behaviour being entirely the fault of his superior officer… and another offer of resignation…” Hackett concluded, with an amused expression aimed at Shepard. He’d started off seeming nervous to be joining in with the general pile-on, but now he was clearly enjoying himself.

Shepard and Kaidan were still just looking at each other. Kaidan’s grin had softened into a loving smile, mirrored on Shepard’s face as well.

“Funnily enough, I took the view that I should probably ‘forget’ this second message as well… I’d become very forgetful in the face of a possible reaper invasion,” mused the Admiral, looking around at his audience and drinking in the laughter and small ripple of applause. “Anyway, I believe the point I am making is that, while I acknowledge that I can’t compete in your competition to see who noticed the relationship first, I believe you can thank me for not allowing the heroes of the Reaper War to resign four years ago over it.”

That elicited a huge cheer from the room, with a number of people raising their glasses in a toast.

Shepard slowly leaned sideways to rest her head on Kaidan’s shoulder, and as he quickly dipped to kiss the top of her head, she whispered “You idiot.”

“Right back at you,” he whispered back.

[melancholydreadfuldream]

dream of the sky’s still blue

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 11th Doctor x Reader, 12th Doctor x Reader, 13th Doctor x Reader

Summary: Companion chosen by the Doctor are always special in their own way but you, you are just a tag-along, courtesy of Clara. Maybe that’s why it was easy for him to hurt and abandon you.

Warning: ooc, angst, insecurity, self-harm, depression, madness, suicidal, DW AU mess-up, etc

A/N: The timeline of adventures on this fic will be switch around hence the warning of AU.  I also bullshitting my way with this fanfiction so this will contain plot hole. I hope you enjoy reading it nonetheless. Please like/comment if you like this fic?

What is it about love that make people do irrational thing? I had to go and fall in love with an alien and one who is so out of my league too. He's a silly man most of the times but also, he's the smartest man alive. He's kind and amazing. His name is the Doctor. It wasn't his real name but he said it's the only name that matter. Until Clara and I met River Song, the Doctor's wife, at least her ghost data...? Whatever that means...

River saved us when an enemy of the Doctor attacked us, demanding the Doctor to tell them his true name in order to open the Doctor's grave. She knew his true name. Why am I surprised? If anyone know, it would be his wife.

Clara and I were best friend since childhood. She was the only friend I have actually. I was invisible as a child and Clara saw me and made me her friend. Over the years, of course, she has got better friends, but to her, I will always be her best friend. She never left me behind.

I met the Doctor when he attempted to break into the house where Clara worked. After hearing Clara's distress voice from inside the house, I panicked too. After that, I witnessed this strange man rescued her. I was very grateful.

When the Doctor invited Clara to come along on board the Tardis, Clara agreed on the condition I can go with them too. To my surprise, he agreed immediately. I thought for sure he would not want me around. I was grateful to Clara because of her, I was able to see the wonder of the universe.

Of course, then I had to go and fell for the Doctor. He was kind and affectionate enough toward the both of us. I can't help blushing every time he put his hands on me. Much to my embarrassment, of course, Clara noticed and teased me about it. Clara, being the good friend, she encouraged me to confess my feeling for him but I didn't want to ruin whatever fragile friendship I have with the Doctor.

I can't help but be jealous of Clara. She has got the Doctor's attention almost immediately even though he met us roughly at the same time. I didn’t know it at the times that he had met her twice before. His impossible girl. Now I know why. Clara, the girl who was born to save the Doctor, splintered herself into many pieces inside the Doctor's timeline in order to rescue him.

It was then I noticed that Clara is slowly falling for the Doctor too. And who can blame her? The Doctor was such a charmer in his own way. Clara was special to the Doctor, I can tell. After all, the Doctor owed her a life debt for all those times her echoes died for his every incarnation.

I knew then I never stood a chance to gain his interest. I was just nobody, just a tag-along. And It's hurt, so much. I probably should have left, stop traveling with them and let whatever attraction between them become mutual. If anyone deserve to have the best in life, it would be her, Clara, my best friend.

But my heart couldn't let go just yet. So, I stick around. But I told Clara that I know that she has feeling for the Doctor too and I told her to go for it.

"It's not like I have a chance. He never sees me."

Clara was upset with me whenever I said that. "Then we will make him see you." she said as she gave me a hug. "You are my best friend. I want you to be happy."

"I want you to be happy too, Clara." I said. "You love him. You deserve to have a go with him. Don't hold back because of me."

7777

I watched as my Doctor, the Eleventh one, argued with his past self whom he introduced me as Tenth Doctor. I ended up with three Doctors during an adventure. At Clara's urging, I jumped into the portal, following the Doctor. It was Clara's idea for me to catch his attention. I have to stop being timid, she said. It was really hard to do but for the Doctor, I was willing to try and be reckless.

"You have feeling for my future incarnation." The War Doctor said suddenly.

I almost jumped in my seat. I didn't think he would talk to me. I gulped as I glanced at him much like a guilty child. "I...what? No, I..."

He chuckled. "Oh, your face..."

I glared at him this time.

After he was done with his amusement in my expense, he turned to me with wistful smile. "You should tell him."

"He doesn't feel the same." I blurted out.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "How do you know?"

"Because I saw how he look at Clara and I know..."

"Clara?"

"My best friend. His impossible girl."

The War Doctor nodded. "You should tell him anyway. He might surprise you."

I glanced at him and I opened my mouth to ask what he meant but he seemed distracted like he was seeing someone who was not there.

7777

Clara always said the right words. Thanks to her, the three Doctors ended up saving their home planet, instead of destroying it.

I smiled as the three Doctors and Clara are busy congratulating each other. To my surprise, the War Doctor came to me and gave me a hug. I hugged him back.

After the War Doctor and Tenth Doctor are gone, I finally realized something horrible. The War Doctor knew of my feeling for the Doctor, doesn't that mean my Doctor know? I was terrified at the realization. I wanted to find a hole and crawl under it. But, Clara assured me that the timeline was out of sync at the times, chances are the Doctor might not remember his time as the War Doctor anyway.

7777

Then Trenzalore happened.

We were in the town of Christmas with a truth field surrounding the town. Of course, Clara and I ended up embarrassing ourselves by accidentally revealing our feeling for the Doctor. Thankfully, the crisis at hand didn't give any of us time to address the issue. I was fine pretending I didn't say anything.

Then, the Doctor realized he has found Gallifrey on the other side of the crack of time in the wall inside the tower. The planet itself was surrounded by various enemies of Gallifrey, ready to reign hell upon Trenzalore.

The Doctor ordered Clara and I to go back to the Tardis and to charge his sonic screwdriver. Clara obeyed him immediately. I followed her but stopped short suddenly. Why did he send both of us just to charge his sonic? I had a sneaky suspicious that the Doctor was up to something. I didn't step into the Tardis and to my surprise, the Tardis suddenly vanished before my eyes.

I knew it. He was trying to spare us by sending us away. Didn't work though because I didn't get inside the Tardis. I turned to glance at the Tower. Now what? He will be angry when he realized I was still here. I know I'm being stupid; I did not have anything to offer the Doctor to help defending the planet, but I want to stay here with him. He will think I was a burden, a nuisance so maybe I should stay out of his sight for now.

"(name)?"

So much for staying out of sight. I turned around to face his wrath.

"What are you still doing here? You should be in the Tardis with Clara!"

"You send her away."

"You should not be here! This place is about to be a war zone! Do you understand?" He yelled at me angrily. "You could die if you stay here!"

"I know! I just, Doctor, but...I...I can't just leave you here alone." I said softly.

The Doctor stared at me, speechless. Then he growled. "You stupid...ugh!!"

I flinched. The words hurt but I braced myself.

He turned around and left me. He went back to the tower. "Get yourself into safety with the other!" He yelled without looking at me.

So, I did as I was told. I helped the others to evacuate to a safer place.

Thankfully, the Doctor was able to control the crisis in town.

7777

For the next few days, I avoided the Doctor and he didn't bother seek me out either. I caught a glimpse of him sometimes but I made sure I was out of his sight.

I made a friend here; her name is Laura. She was kind. She was, like me, a timid girl so I was drawn to her immediately. I was grateful for her presence. Most days, I missed Clara and wonder how she was doing back at home. I wonder if I would ever see her again. Laura made me feel less lonely. I would like to think that I did the same for her.

Laura made me feel welcomed here with some of the people in town. Most of them were very nice. She got me some routine job to spend my days so I did not get sad or bored. I was useless to the Doctor anyway.

I sat near one of the fireplaces at the yard in front of the town school. The town people are having a small celebration for days where they are not under attack. I smiled as I watched them being lively and happy despite the bad situation surrounding us. Even the Doctor seemed to have a good time, dancing silly dance with the children. The Doctor did always have soft spot for children.

Laura took a seat by my side and we got to talk about some stuff. She asked me about the Doctor. She noticed there are tension between the Doctor and me, she asked about it. She also noticed the longing look I apparently keep throwing at the Doctor.

Because of the damn truth field, I told her everything that is my truth. I told her I was in love with the Doctor and about how he didn't care about me like that. I told her about Clara and the Doctor. I told her that the Doctor never see me for me, that I was just Clara's friend and nothing else. And that I was somewhat okay with it. I have always known I was invisible among people. But I do wonder if he would be nicer if it was Clara instead who is trapped in the town with him. Clara would never take his harsh attitude and would probably be snarky right back at him. I couldn't.

I didn't realize I was crying until Laura gave me a hug.

A boy, Gilbert, approached us and asked Laura to dance with him. Laura accepted with my urging.

I watched them with a smile. Ah, to be young and in love. I sighed. I sounded like I was already old. I chuckled. And then the bitterness filled me. I was jealous. I hated myself for feeling like that.

I shuddered in cold even with the blanket around me. Suddenly, someone covered their jacket over my blanket. I glanced up and saw the Doctor. My heart skipped a beat as he took a seat beside me.

For a few seconds, he didn't say anything. Then he suddenly nudged me and then he said that he missed me.

I smiled softly at him. "I miss you too, Doctor."

"I'm sorry for how I acted before." He said softly.

I shook my head. "You were right. I was useless. There is nothing I can offer you to help. I was just being a nuisance to you."

The Doctor suddenly grabbed one of my arms while his other hand raised my chin to face him properly. "You are not a nuisance to me, (name). You are my friend. Despite the circumstance, I'm glad that you are here."

"There is no place I would rather be..." I said as I gazed at him and I realized it was the truth. This truth field made me being truth full and brave for some reason. Usually I would never say stuff like that out loud.

The Doctor stared at me. His eyes looked sad. He released me from his hold.

"Don't make that kind of face, Doctor. I choose this. I choose you." I said as I grabbed one of his hands.

"Even when you think I didn't care for you; you would still choose me?" He asked.

I frowned. Then I felt embarrassed when I realized he heard my talk with Laura earlier.

"You are wrong, you know. I do care about you. And you are not just Clara's friend. You are mine too." He said. "I'm sorry to make you feel like you are unseen to me."

I didn't know what to say to him now.

The Doctor stood suddenly and raised one hand toward me.

I glanced at him in confusion.

"Come with me. Back into the tower."

The Tower is where he stayed. I smiled at the invitation as I took his hand.

7777

Ever since that night, our relationship improved slightly. He was no longer ignoring me which I was very grateful.

I loved watching him work on whatever he is doing. I couldn't help him at all but I'm glad to be a witness to his awesomeness every time he solves something or have a grand plan. He even made a new sonic screwdriver from random stuff he found around.

I didn't stay with him all the time though. He always sends me away whenever the town is under attack. He was fiercely protective of me. I tried to watch over him too. It was a good thing I did. Once when the town is under fierce attack, he nearly got shot by a sneaky dalek but I pushed him down onto the road.

The Doctor is surprised to see me but he also quick to disable the dalek.

I pushed myself off him and glanced up at him as he quickly towers over me in anger.

"(name), what are you doing here?! I told you to hide!" He shouted at me.

"Watch your own back then, Doctor!!" I yelled angrily.

"You're hurt." The Doctor suddenly said as he bent his knees and grabbed one of my arms.

I just realized I got a graze from the shot just now. "It was fine."

The Doctor glared at me and then he barked orders on one of the town people to nurse my injury as he left me behind to deal with another attack somewhere else.

7777

I waited for the Doctor inside the tower. When he returned, he was giving me silent treatment much to my annoyance. So, I pushed him to talk to me.

"You could have died."

"So could you. I saved you." I said.

"I didn't ask you to."

"You didn't have to."

The Doctor glanced at me with that look of sorrow again. He suddenly put one hand over my cheeks. "Don't be reckless, (name), you've only one life. You are only human, so fragile."

"You told me this is your last generation and that you don't have anymore. Of course, I have to save you, Doctor. How can I let you die? You are the hope of this town, of the people. But also, because I love you. To see you die before me is not an option!" I said firmly.

The Doctor is giving me this look I can't decipher. "But it was okay to let me see you die first?"

"I am always going to die first. You know that. I'm sorry that I made you care for me, that maybe losing me will cause you some pain but I will not let you die before me. Because if you do, I don't want to live anymore." I probably shouldn't say that but damn truth field is outing all my pain. "But you, Doctor, you will live even if you lose me. And when the Tardis returned and all of this is over, you will go on your next adventure with Clara or some new companion whose life you changed for the better as you did mine. And I am okay with it. To die for you would be an honour."

"Oh, (name)...that's not something I want for you."

"Well, tough...this is my life, Doctor, my choice."

"You keep saying that but do you even understand?"

"Don't treat me like a child, Doctor."

"Then stop acting like it."

The words hurt. I knew if we kept talking, we will hurt each other more so I left the tower.

7777

Despite the warning not to go to the lake alone at night, I did it anyway. I just need to get away and so I did. And it was lucky that I did because I heard a child's cries for help. I perked up and tried to locate the source.

There was a little boy. He seemed to get stuck in the middle of the frozen lake. What is he doing over there in the first place? I wanted to run to get help from other people but the boy, upon seeing me, begged me not to left him behind. He was crying. I promised him I would return. I ran back and screamed for help, hoping someone would hear and come immediately. I returned back and quickly tried to get to the kid.

Of course, I should have left the rescue to professional. But I wasn't thinking, okay? The kid is making me panic too because he was crying really loud. I grabbed the kid just as some of people come upon us only to have the ice beneath us cracked and we both fell back into a cold dark water. And that's when I saw the body of the little girl inside. She was long dead it seemed.

7777

I woke up inside the tower with the Doctor looking so gloomy. It has been three days apparently since I was rescued from inside the lake.

"Doc...tor...?"

He looks relieved when he saw me woke up. He gave me water immediately. "You could have died, (name)..."

I wanted to roll my eyes. Not this argument again. "Doctor, please..."

"I could have lost you today." He didn't listen. "How can I ever face Clara if anything happened to you? You are her best friend, (name), she would kill me."

I chuckled.

The Doctor glared at me. "It's not funny. This is life or death, (name)."

I couldn't help but burst into a giggle.

The Doctor look affronted at not being taken seriously. "Shut up." he said with a pout.

I smiled softly. "Make me."

To my surprise, he kissed me softly.

I blinked in shock, definitely speechless.

He pulled back from the kiss and sighed against my forehead. "Don't ever do that again to me, (name). I can't bear to lose you too soon."

I didn't reply. My mind still busy on the fact that the Doctor just kissed me. He actually kissed me in the mouth and not for CPR. I can't think very clearly. My brain is no longer working.

"(name)?" He called out when I didn't respond.

"You kissed me."

"I...did?"

"You kissed me."

The Doctor suddenly feeling embarrassed now.

"Why?"

"I... don’t know, it just feels right at the moment?"

"Doctor!"

He sighed. "You choose me. So, this is me, choosing you right back."

I frowned at his wording. "I didn't ask you to."

"You didn't have to."

I don't know what this meant. Did he love me or did he just feel the obligation to love me back because I said it first and we are trapped here together for the time being? Did he pity me for my feeling for him? "I don't need your pity or your charity, Doctor." I spat with venom.

The Doctor look confused. "(name)..."

I turned my back from him and ignored him. Tears fell into my cheeks. I sniffed.

The Doctor sighed and for a few seconds, there are only awkward silence. "It wasn't pity or charity, (name)..." he finally said.

"I don't believe you..." I whispered but I know he can hear me.

7777

After I got better, I found out about the boy on the lake. His name is Adam. He was playing with a little girl named Greta on the lake and had an accident. Greta didn't survive, she hit her head hard when she fell into the lake.

Adam's parents are very grateful for me even though I didn't actually save him. Adam glanced at me timidly and give me flower as a gesture of gratitude. His mother told me that Adam might be crushing on me. I thought that was kind of adorable of him.

Laura fussed over me. She was glad that I survived. She filled me in about the three days I missed. Thankfully there are no attack during the time I was out of it.

Laura stayed with me and she talked and I listened. She got distracted by Gilbert and I teased her about him. She blushed cutely.

She asked me for advice regarding how to approach or have a talk with a boy.

I shook my head. "You're talking the wrong person if you are seeking love advice." I said. "I never have a boyfriend."

"Well, how do you usually talk with that Doctor of yours?"

This time I was the one who is blushing. "He's not my boyfriend!" I blurted out. I looked around worried that someone or the Doctor could hear us.

Laura grinned. "I never said he is. But...you want him to be, don't you?" She teased. "You love him."

I sighed. "The Doctor is not someone who just fall in love just like that. You would have to be very impressive person like Clara or River. And I'm not..." I said with a touch of sadness. "As for how I usually talk with him, well, mostly he does all the talking."

"If being with him pains you so much, why would you stay with him?" Laura asked. "Out of sight out of mind would be better, no?"

"I guess I'm not ready to let go..."

7777

The Doctor left for some meeting with the people he put in charge of security of the town. I was on my own in the tower. I pulled my ipod from my bag, the one I always carried everywhere we go. Thank God, I had the bag with me when I got stuck here. I love listening to music, they made my days more bearable. Clara used to tease me that I would put my earbuds just to put people off from talking to me. In a way, she was right.

Ever since I become the Doctor’s companion, I had to go out of my comfort zone more. Many times, I wondered whether I deserve to be his companion. I was too timid. Clara always had my back so it wasn’t so bad. But, she was not here right now. I had to force myself to interact with other people. I was very grateful to have meet and befriended Laura.

I took a seat on the stairs in the tower. I hummed along my current favorite song, a bittersweet song. Clara used to tease me for liking sad song but then she would also sing along with me whenever we were in a mood to sing. My heart ached at the memories. I missed her so much. I wish she was here with me.

I was so focused on my thought I didn’t realize when the Doctor returned and took a seat on the stairs where I was.

“What song are you listening too?”

I jumped in surprise. “Doctor! When did you get here?”

The Doctor shrugged and glanced at me, expecting me to answer his question.

Why was he that curious about the song I was listening to? I pulled off one of my earbuds and gave it to him.

The Doctor put on the earbud. He actually stayed still to listen to the song. He was usually so bouncy, unable to stay in one place for too long.

“It was my current favorite song.” I said.

He hummed. “Clara did mention you have thing for sad song.”

My eyes widened. “When did she say that to you?”

He didn’t answer.

“Do you and Clara talk about me a lot?” I asked, suddenly feeling insecure.

“Only good things, don’t worry.” He finally answered with a small smile.

My ipod suddenly made a bleep sound. I sighed in disappointment when I realized the battery is about to run out. I left my charger on board the Tardis and the Tardis was nowhere in sight.

The Doctor pulled his sonic screwdriver. He made a new one. He pointed the sonic to my ipod. “There now, it’s fully charged.” He said.

I smiled at him gratefully. “Thank you, Doctor.”

We sat still as we share music together on that stairs.

7777

I watched as the Doctor was asked by the children to tell them a story and being the kind man he is, he can hardly refused them. I watched in amusement as the Doctor dramatically tell a story that made the children giggling. There was a lot of whirling on the Doctor’s part. It was funny.

I noticed Adam didn’t enjoy the story as much as the other children. I sat with him and asked him how he was doing.

“He is deliberately being silly.” Adam said.

“He is a silly man.” I said.

“I don’t like it.”

“Because he was supposed to be cool?” I asked.

“Well, yeah, he is a hero that defends the town but look at him, playing with kids.”

“What’s wrong with playing with kids?”

“He’s an adult. It’s weird.”

“I don’t think it’s weird.”

“Well, yeah, that’s because you like ‘like’ him.”

I was surprised that he noticed my feeling for the Doctor and I felt so embarrassed that even a kid noticed it. Was I that transparent? “It wasn’t like that. We are just friend.” I quickly said.

Adam gave me a look that said I was a terrible liar.

I decided to change the subject. “Well then, do you have anything you would rather do? I could join you, if you like.”

Adam’s face brightened at that. He grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the Doctor and the other children.

7777

I met a man called John. He was a soldier. He was assigned to help the Doctor to keep the peace. Lately, he has been coming to see me a lot. Laura said that he was courting me. I didn’t believe it but I was begining to believe that it was true. I have no idea what to do. I tried to let him down gently.

To my annoyance, even John noticed that that I have feeling for the Doctor.  “He can’t ever love you as I do. I can give you a life that you deserve.” He said.

Even if he was right, I couldn’t love him back. John told me he talked to the Doctor and asked his permission to court me and he gave him the go ahead. I felt like I was being slapped.

The Doctor actually gave him permission to court me? He wasn’t even my guardian. But, in a way, he was, wasn’t he? But, what about his confession earlier, about choosing me back? Was that a lie? Did he retract that because I said I didn’t believe him?

My heart ached so badly. I wanted to cry. I begged John to give me some space. I left him and went into the lake.

“Are you okay, miss (name)?” Adam asked.

I was surprised to see him there. I quickly wiped my tears and put on a small smile. “I’m fine. My eyes are just hurting a bit.”

“Do adult believe in that sort of rubbish excuse?” He asked.

I chuckled at that and I messed his hair up.

“Don’t treat me like a kid.” Adam pushed my hand away in annoyance.

7777

I was mad at the Doctor. I foolishly accepted John who asked me to have a dance with him during a festive in town. I wanted the Doctor to be jealous. But, of course, he didn’t blink an eye as I danced and talked with John.

It was unfair of me to stringing John along. I confessed to him that I was still in love with the Doctor. He said he knew and he was fine with it. He begged me to get to know him too. He hope to open my eyes and let me see his genuine love for me.

Life would be so much easier if you liked the right people. For me, John could have been that person. The Doctor, as amazing as he is, was out of my league. On top of that, he was immortal and he aged very slowly. I was only human, after all, can’t help feeling about my own vanity. We could never be together, could we? Ugh, I was horrible.

I tried to give John a chance. I tried. But my heart still beats for the Doctor. After a month of courting, I told John that he should no longer waste his time courting me and that if he like, I would like to remain friend with him.

John was upset. He left without saying anything. I regretted that it was our last meeting. John died during one of the attack in town that same night. I felt guilty and I grieved for him.

7777

I was with the Doctor in the tower. We sat together in the balcony, watching the moon.

“Why did you give John permission to court me?” I asked suddenly, surprising him.

“I thought it was obvious. You deserve a normal life with a man who can grow old with you.”

I guess, the Doctor worried about vanity too. I nodded. “He would be perfect. He was a good man.”

The Doctor nodded and muttered something along the line “...despite being a soldier...”

I sighed as I pulled my blanket closer around me. “But I wish you didn’t do that.” I said. “It made me think about how little you must think about my feeling for you.”

“It wasn’t like that.” The Doctor quickly said. “I just want you to be happy.”

“You told me before that you were choosing me back, was that a lie?”

“It wasn’t a lie. But I’m an old man, (name), I don’t deserve you. You deserve better than me.” The Doctor said. “I was very jealous seeing you dance with John. I knew you did that on purpose to try to get me to react.”

“You noticed that, huh?”

“Oh believe me, I have to restrain myself from pulling you from him and kiss you right then and there...” He said. “But I can’t be selfish with you.”

“What if I want you to be selfish?” I asked. “What if I want to spend the rest of my life loving you and be loved back in return by you?”

“It certainly will be a challenge.” The Doctor said. “But, you have to be sure that this is what you really want, (name). I am a Time Lord. When we loved someone, we loved so completely to the point almost obsession. You need to be absolutely sure you want this because...I don’t think I could let you go should we go through with this.”

I moved closer to the Doctor and put one hand over his cheek. “I choose you, my Doctor.”

The Doctor smiled solemnly as he put his hand over mine. “As you wish, my dearest (name).”

7777

True to his words, he started showing his affection for me. He started with romantic gestures like a candlelight dinner, a dance with my favorite song played on speaker (yes, that’s right, he made a speaker so that I could connect it to my ipod) and just overall being amazing boyfriend.

He taught me how to use his sonic screwdriver. “Just point and think.” He said standing real close behind me. His arms enveloped me as he helped me point the sonic to the correct target.

“What? Just like that? When you put it like that, it sounded like the sonic is a magic wand.” I said teasingly.

He pouted adorably.

7777

I was happy being with the Doctor. I tried not to think about the future, to just live in the moment. Then something bad happened. Something that I didn’t even see coming. I didn’t even think the Doctor suspect it. The town was under attack and I was looking for Adam. He was nowhere to be found. His parents were worried. I went to the lake with the sonic the Doctor gave me for protection. I thought he would be there. I was hoping not to stumble with any of the Doctor’s enemies here.

But what I saw...is horrible. I saw something I shouldn’t. I can’t comprehend what it is I was seeing. I had to go back and tell the Doctor about it. But, I made a sound unintentionally and he found me.

He was fast and strong for a kid.

I fell to the ground and he descend upon me with a hammer. “Adam, don’t!”

Adam smiled coldly at me. “You saw it, didn’t you? That’s too bad. I really really like you, miss (name). But now you have to go.”

I yelped as he pulled his hammer over my head. Sharp pain filled my head as blood trailing down the side of my face. I felt dizzy. The sonic fell to the ground, covered in my blood.

Adam picked it up. “I will tell him that you were killed. This thing will be the evidence.”

I was horrified. This kid was actually planning to kill me for real?

“It was easy, you see. Everyone trust a kid, even the Doctor. Even John... Others children are easy to manipulated too...”

My eyes widened at the mention of John. “You killed John? Why?”

“You like him too much.” He said. “I know you like the Doctor too. But I can’t kill the Doctor. We need him. But, I suppose this way is better. No one gets to have you now. I’m sorry that it has come to this. I really like you ever since you saved me from the lake.”

Of course, only me would have a psycho kid as an admirer.  Any other companion of the Doctor would probably die by another alien hand while I got a psycho kid instead.

I tried to move away but I was too weak. The headache is getting worse. I can barely think.

“I’m sorry, miss (name).” Adam said, sounding genuinely upset even with that chilling smile on his face.

“That’s enough.”

I heard someone said. I didn’t recognize who it was. I think it was a man dressed in black?

The man walked toward Adam and grabbed the kid before he could do so much as screaming. He put his hands over the kids’ temples. Adam stopped struggling. The man then shushed the kid away. He walked toward me.

“900 years of wondering what exactly happened to you. Which of my enemies got to you. And it was just some crazy kid?” He lamented in disbelief.

I tried to focus to stay awake but it was getting hard. “Who…?”

The man bends his knees right beside me. He pulled a sonic screwdriver. Was it mine? I can’t tell. “Don’t move.”

I succumbed to the darkness gratefully.

7777

I woke up in a med bay. I recognized it as the med bay on board of the Tardis.

“Ah, you are finally awake.”

I saw the man from before. I didn’t know who he is. “Who are you? Where is the Doctor?”

The man raised an eyebrow at me. “I’m the Doctor.”

My jaw dropped in disbelief. “No, you are not the Doctor.”

“I regenerated.”

“See, that was a lie. My Doctor told me he was in his last regeneration. You can’t be him. What game are you trying to play here?”

“No game. I got a new set of regeneration. You can thank your best friend for that.”

I blinked. “Clara? Clara is here too? Where?”

“I kind of left her with Vastra and Jenny. No worry, we can come back for her later.”

“Are you really the Doctor?” I asked tentatively.

“Yes.”

“How? You said… How did Clara…?”

“Near the end of my times, I was dying; Clara returned with the Tardis and she convinced the other Time Lords to help me. And here we are.”

“You said on the lake that it has been 900 years…” I whispered. “Did I die?”

“Obviously not, you are here, aren’t you?”

“But you said you have been wondering what happened to me. Did you…crossing your own time stream to save me?”

“Don’t talk about thing that you don’t understand.”

“Well then, explain to me.”

“I don’t think your pudding brain could comprehend it.”

I was very offended. “You are rude.”

The Doctor shrugged as if he didn’t care.

“What did you do to Adam?” I asked.

“Does it matter?”

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t care. Now answer the question.”

“I told him to go be useful somewhere else.”

“What is that supposed to mean? Did you harm him?”

“Why do you care? He tried to kill you.”

“He’s just a kid.”

“One who has a taste for murder? Greta? John? Ring a bell?”

“He needs help.”

“Oh, don’t worry; I give him exactly what he need.” The Doctor said with a dark tone.

I shivered under his gaze. I started wondering if this man really is the Doctor.

7777

I was so excited to see Clara again. I was about to approach her but she was talking with the Doctor on the console room. She looked sad. I heard the end of what the Doctor said to her.

“I’m not your boyfriend.”

“I never thought you were.”

“I didn’t say it was your mistake.”

My heart ached suddenly. Did that mean the Doctor used to consider Clara his girlfriend? I wanted to hit myself. Why am I still surprise with it? I knew that he has feeling for Clara despite his claim back then of choosing me. Maybe he meant he settle for me. I sighed as I wiped my glassy eyes.

They were still unaware of my presence. They talked about things that I seemed to miss. Something about an ad in a newspaper and a phone number.

I finally made my presence known.

Clara actually look a bit alarmed to see me. I saw her exchanged a look with the Doctor.

The Doctor only shrugged.

Clara went to hug me and I hugged her back tightly.

“I miss you so much, Clara.” I said.

“I miss you more.” Clara said.

The Doctor watched the two of us with a smile. “So, where to next?”

I was surprised when Clara said she want to go home. I sensed something was up between the Doctor and Clara, something that I missed.

Clara asked me if I want to go home with her and I was just speechless.

The Doctor glanced at me without a word.

“I think I will stay for a while. I need to talk with the Doctor.” I said finally as I glanced back at him.

Clara stared at the two of us before nodded. “I will give you some space.” She went out of the Tardis just as her phone rangs.

I turned to the Doctor. I seated myself on the stairs. “So, are you going to give me the same speech, more or less, about how you are not my boyfriend?”

He raised an eyebrow at that. “Do you want me too?”

“I’m giving you an out, Doctor. I knew you only settle for me because Clara was not with us back in Trenzalore.”

“Maybe you are the one in need of an out. Didn’t like my new face, eh? Too old for you?”

I glared at him. “That’s not fair. Do you really think me so little?”

“You can’t even look at me and see me as the Doctor.”

“Well, forgive me for being a human! I’m not used yet to the new grumpy face. Also this you are rude.”

“I saved you and I was rude?”

“You called me pudding brain!”

“I called everyone pudding brain. Don’t take it personally.”

I glared at him.

“I meant every words back in Trenzalore. You wanted this. I did warn you I won’t be easily letting you go and what was that you said to me back then?”

I was silent for a few seconds. “I choose you, my Doctor.” I repeated my words to him back then.

“And, do you still meant every words?”

“I...Of course. Yes.”

“You don’t sound sure.”

I couldn’t say anything.

“I see. You prefer the other face more.”

“That’s not it! I just need time to get used to this new you. Is that too much to ask?”

“Fine. I will give you time.” He said with a huff as he moved to get out of the Tardis and I could hear him talking to Clara outside.

Seemed like Clara is having a hard time accepting the new doctor like me. But, it seemed like he managed to convince her. When I got out of the Tardis, Clara waved me over to join them for chips.

7777

I have to sort out my life outside of the Tardis. I lost my job at the diner just yesterday. The Doctor showed up at my work place, basically insulting me and everyone who worked there. I was angry at the Doctor for calling my job as a dead end job, no matter whether he was right or not.

Clara was lucky she got a position as a teacher at a high school. Clara has always the brave out of the two of us. I was content hiding away and be invicible. Clara would never be satisfied with that. She loves being in the spotlight, much like the Doctor. It was a miracle that the two of them actually put up with me.

Clara did get me a job at administration department at the high school she teaches eventually. It wasn’t that bad, thanfully. She introduced me to Danny Pink, a teacher. She told me that she was seeing him. I was very happy for her. Danny looked like a good man.

The Doctor and Clara often went on adventures non-stop. I didn’t know how she can cope balancing Tardis life and real life. I, myself, has turned down the Doctor a few times whenever he asked me to go with him and Clara.

“I’m so tired, Doctor. Tomorrow I have work. I need to sleep.”

“You can sleep when you die.”

I ignored him after he said that.

7777

One day, the Doctor showed up on my doorsteps with a suit and asked me out on a date.

“You are absolutely sure I am going to say yes...” I said as I gestured on his suit.

Of course, his answer kind of ruined the mood. He was too blunt sometimes. But, you have got to admit, he grew on you, especially his angry eyebrows as Clara dubbed it.

Surprisingly, the Doctor set up a good date night. He took me out on a restaurant in some planet. The song that played in the background to my surprise was my favorite song, the one we danced to back in the tower on Trenzalore.

“You remember.” I whispered with a smile.

He only shrugged. He raised a hand toward me and asked me to dance with him.

I smiled widely and accepted. He didn’t smile the whole time but I could see his eyes softened considerably as he glanced at me fondly.

At the end of the night, he gave me a present, sort of, my old ipod.

“I had to give it a bit of upgrade and I took the liberty to add more music for your collection.” He said. “But you can’t let others borrow it since it contain song from the future.”

I held the ipod on my chest and smiled gratefully at him. “Thank you, Doctor.” I kissed his cheek.

7777

Clara said she wanted to meet Robin Hood. Oh, I know that Robin Hood was one of her favorite stories.

The Doctor reluctantly took us to go see Robin Hood. He kept insisting that Robin Hood is not real though.

Clara and I was excited to dress ourselves in a period-appropriate dress. We complimented each other much to the Doctor’s annoyance.

“Stop admiring yourself. Do you want to see Robin Hood or not?” He asked grumpily.

Clara grinned as she made me do a twirl before pushing me right into the Doctor’s arms.

The Doctor caught me in his embrace. He gazed at me but didn’t say anything.

Clara smirked. “Now, who is admiring who?”

The Doctor glared at Clara as I blushed.

7777

Clara and I were surprised to see the Doctor undercover at the school where we worked as the caretaker.

The Doctor found out about Danny Pink and was livid because Clara is dating a former soldier.

“John is a soldier and you let him court me.” I reminded him.

“That’s different.”

I rolled my eyes. I tried not to think too much about what he meant. I didn’t want to allow insecurity take a bite on me again. Not today, at least.

Clara introduced Danny to the Doctor and they both have instant dislike of each other.

7777

During on our girl night out, I finally get to ask Clara about Trenzalore and about the last moment of our first Doctor. Well, my first. Clara has seen and interacted in some way with all of the Doctor’s incarnation through her echoes.

She told me that she was once even a Time Lady and that she was the one who introduced the Doctor with the Tardis.

I smiled at that. The Tardis actually owed Clara for directing the Doctor to steal the right ‘sexy’ Tardis. It was kind of funny considering how the Tardis has been treating Clara before. The Tardis was very mean to Clara but now it seemed they get on well.

Clara told me about the Doctor sending her away twice. She told me about the Doctor being very old and weak and alone. She told me about how the Doctor apologized to her for not protecting me, her best friend.

I wanted to cry at the thought that I caused him so much pain by staying in the Trenzalore back then. He thought I was dead and he never stopped wondering about what happened to me. He cared so much that 900 years later, after he regenerated, he risked everything to rescue me.

I know everything worked out well. The Doctor is here. Clara is here. We are all together. I supposed it was better this way. If Adam had not attacked me, I would have stay with the Doctor until my time is running out and he would have to bury me. I knew it was inevitable. I would die sooner or later but later is definitely better.

I suddenly have the urge to see the Doctor so I apologized to Clara for cutting our girl night short. She only grinned at me in understanding.

I called the Doctor, hoping he would accept my call and came to me immediately. Thankfully, he did. As the Tardis materialized in front of me, I ran and pulled the door open. I stared at the Doctor for a short a while and immediately went to hug him, despite his protest that he is not a hugging person anymore.

“I love you, my Doctor.” I whispered to him.

The Doctor’s eyes widened and softened considerably. He didn’t say it back but at the times, it didn’t matter to me.

7777

A Time Lord, basically an alien immortal and a human; our relationship are basically very fragile. I could die any times, be it by the hands of another alien or another human, be it accidentaly or intentionally. Though, I never thought it will happen so soon. But then again, it shouldn’t surprise me so much. Life with the Doctor could be wonderful but also dangerous. The Doctor did always find himself in a life or death situation most of the times.

We got involved in an adventure with the Vikings where we met Ashildr. The villagers are under attack by unknown entity but the Doctor eventually recognize them as the Mire. Ashildr declared wars on the Mire and the Doctor was forced to act accordingly to defend the villagers.

I didn’t actually remember what happened to me. It was very hazy. According to Clara, I was injured gravely in a line of fire during the Mire’s unexpected attack. The Doctor used Mire technology to save my life and Ashildr, sentencing the both of us to a life of immortality, not that I was aware of it at the time.

Originally, the Doctor planned to gave both chips to Ashildr but I was dying and he decided to save me...again. Partly, it was because Clara begged him to save her best friend.

I was in and out of conciousness for a few days on board of the Tardis and when I finally regained my bearing, it was to the worried face of Clara.

Clara exhaled a sigh of relief when she saw me awaken. “Don’t ever do that again.” She said as she hugged me tight.

I was still very weak but I smiled regardless. “You are one to talk. Between the two of us, you are the one who is more reckless.”

“Yet, I’m not the one in the med bay.” She pointed.

I noticed the Doctor leaned against the doorway, staring at the both of us with a look I can’t decipher. I smiled at him. “Thank you for saving my life again, Doctor.”

“Don’t thank me. You might end up cursing me instead.” The Doctor bluntly said.

I frowned.

Clara glared at the Doctor. “He has been grumpy this few days. Don’t mind him.”

I stared at those two in confusion but honestly I was still too tired to deal with whatever issue the Doctor have with me. I imagined the Doctor was upset with me for not being careful.

7777

The Doctor dropped me back on Earth to rest. It was then the world was shaken by a broadcast from the moon. I recognized Clara’s voice. Something about deciding the fate of the moon? I wonder where the Doctor is and why he is letting the people of earth to make the decision.

I called Clara but she didn’t pick up. It was the next day she asked to meet me and she told me she intend to leave the Tardis for good. She told me she was angry at the Doctor. I was confused with the Doctor’s action toward Clara and I can only pray they both could work out their issue. I would hate for our relationship to break over this.

Clara asked me if I think the Doctor is too cold-hearted ever since he regenerated. I ponder over Adam and what he said about giving him exactly what he deserved, not that I know exactly what it was. That moment made me doubted the Doctor but I convinced myself he was just being protective of me so I never mention it again. I didn’t agree with Clara but I didn’t exactly defend the Doctor either.

Clara and the Doctor had a plan for a one last hurray trip. I figured I should not come and give them their space to work their issue with each other. It seemed to work because after that trip, Clara said she will stick around to travel in the Tardis. But she told me she promised Danny she will stop travelling with the Doctor. She had to lie and she made me swore not to tell Danny either.

7777

Clara and I couldn’t help but laugh at the Doctor’s predicament, having being trapped inside the Tardis that had shrunk down to a handheld size.

I couldn’t help giggling at Clara’s antic of acting as ‘Doctor Clara’ taking charge to deal with the current alien invasion. Clara, loving to be in charge, flirted with me as a joke at the Doctor’s expense. The Doctor rolled his eyes at the both of us and shouted to focus.

7777

The forest has grown all over the world. The Doctor believed that this is the end of the world. A giant solar headed toward the earth.

The Doctor offered an escape via the Tardis. Clara refused because she didn’t want to be the last human. I didn’t want to leave the Doctor but I also didn’t want to be the last human either or to leave Clara to her death alone.

It was then I noticed the Doctor and Clara exchanged a look again.

“You were right, Doctor. We shouldn’t keep the truth from her.” Clara said. “(name), you should stay with the Doctor.”

“What? Why?”

That’s when they told me about my immortality, thanks to the Mire technology. I was stunned and I was upset that they didn’t tell me the truth immediately. Now, I understand what the Doctor said before about me cursing him instead of thanking him.

But, there is no time for breakdown. The Doctor was able to figure out that the trees are defending the earth from the solar attack.

I left the Doctor and Clara to be on my own, contemplating the meaning of my new existence.

“So, they finally tell you the truth then?” Someone said.

I glanced up and my eyes widened in surprise when I saw the woman. “Ashildr?”

“Call me ‘Me’.” She said.

We left Ashildr back in the distant past. The fact that she was here confirmed that she was immortal and I shared her fate. I didn’t know how to feel about that.

Me took me to a nearby cafe and ordered tea for the both of us. I sensed that she has resentment toward the Doctor and me.

“Well, you are the only immortal the Doctor seemed to care enough to take with him, unlike myself...or Jack Harkness.” She replied when I asked her about it.

I have no idea who Jack Harkness is but Me explained that Jack is the Doctor’s former companion.

Me told me about her life. She told me about her immortal life so far. She had lost many memories over the long years. She collected journal after journal to write down about her life because she found difficulty holding on her many memories.

I shuddered at the thought that my life is extended indefinetely.

Me gave her phone number and told me to contact her if I want to and then she left me behind.

I didn’t know what to say to the Doctor and Clara so I decided I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t tell them about meeting Me.

Clara apologized for holding the truth from me. The Doctor, as usual, didn’t say anything.

I didn’t know what this meant for my relationship with the Doctor though. Being immortal meant I could stay with the Doctor forever but will our relationship even last forever? What if someday he fall out of love with me? Where would that left me? The thought depressed me so badly.

7777

The Doctor took us to an adventure again and it was just my bad luck that things gone wrong for me...again. I began to feel like the universe is against me or something?

We got stranded on base and naturally a mutating virus was on the loose, infecting people left and right. Of course, I had to be the one who got infected despite being immortal.

Being immortal sucks. The virus got stuck in me. I was in continous state of dying. The Doctor put me on a stasis chamber that will paralyze and put me to sleep while he and Clara worked out the cure by travelling to the distant future.

I was trapped inside the statis chamber for God know how many years. At some point, the stasis chamber got faulty resulting in me getting awaken but paralyzed. I was screaming and begging for help inside my mind, begging the Doctor to come and rescue me but he never did.

It was hard to hold on my sanity. It was a good thing I didn’t feel hunger or thirsty inside the chamber otherwise I feared I would become cannibal and eat myself if that even possible. I can’t even find relief by sleeping. Eventually I was able to move my hand enough to scratch my own face until it bleed, ripped strands of my hairs in a fit of rage. I screamed and cried. Honestly, it was a bliss when miraculously the stasis chamber worked again and put me into sleep.

The next time I was awake, I was no longer on the stasis chamber. I heard familiar voices on the distant. It was the Doctor and Clara arguing about (name) and the stasis chamber. How do I know it was them? It has been so long. My mind might playing a trick on me. I heard them mentioning (name) again.

Oh, (name) is me, right? I opened my eyes and for a while, I couldn’t recognize the surrounding area.

The Doctor and Clara were still unaware that I have awaken. I tried to move my toes and relieved when I realized I could move. I forced myself into a seating position. I took notice of my surrounding. The Tardis, my mind slowly supplied. I got down from the bed and immediately fell into the floor with a loud thud.

They both came into the room and rushed to my aid.

“Are you two...really here? Am I safe now?” I asked in hoarse voice.

Clara looked like she wanted to cry and she hugged me immediately. “I’m so sorry, (name).”

The Doctor glanced at me, for once, I could see that the genuine concern in his expression.

7777

I thought I would get better but I kept having nightmare about being back in the stasis chamber. I would scream so loud and started ripping my hairs off or clawing my skins. The Doctor had to give me sedative and restrained me to bed to stop me from hurting myself and Clara.

The Doctor dropped Clara back on Earth so he can focused on fixing my mind.  He asked for my consent to get inside my mind when I was in a better mood. I agreed. I wanted to be able to function again. I didn’t want to hurt myself or Clara or even the Doctor.

He put his hands over my temple and told me to take a deep calm breathe. He put some block over the troublesome memory and hope it would do the trick for my sanity.

Once he deemed me safe, he let me out of the Tardis. I decided to quit my job at the school where Clara teaches. I didn’t want to see the worry or pity in her eyes. I tried to sort my life back together. I got myself a job as a waitress again. Thankfully, the Doctor didn’t make the mistake of calling it a dead end job again otherwise I might slap him silly.

At Clara’s urge, I took an art class as part of therapy.

Despite the block the Doctor put inside my mind, I still have nightmare about the stasis chamber, at least I didn’t go bat crazy about it afterward.

I called Me’s phone number but then I decided to hang up. But the next day, Me showed up on the diner where I worked much to my surprise. She said she recognized my number. I apologized for bothering her.

She insisted I talk to her though so I did.

7777

Lately, the Doctor insisted to have adventure with just the two of us. He made sure it was safe though. I could tell he was worried for me.

I found out that Danny died. I went to Clara’s house to comfort her. She was numb and unresponsive. I called the Doctor to inform him about Clara.

Clara said she need to talk alone with the Doctor and asked me to step back for a bit. Albeit confused, I did as she asked.

Next thing I knew, the world is suddenly overun by cybermen. Kate, from UNIT, picked me up and I was able to reunite with the Doctor. Kate said the Doctor has been chosen as the President of Earth. She also informed me that the Doctor’s enemy, Mistress or Missy, was on board the plane too. But Clara was nowhere to be found. I was very worried.

I met Missy and she curiously observed me. Then, she proceed to mock me as the Doctor’s eternal pet. The Doctor told me to ignore her. But, she knew things and she knew my insecurity regarding the Doctor and Clara. She told me that the first face an incarnation first took sight to was dear to a Time Lord and she knew that I was not his first face, that Clara is. She knew I was not the Doctor’s first choice on anything. The words hurt but I knew it was true.

The Doctor heard every words she said to me but he didn’t even bother to reassure me otherwise. I can’t blame him though. He was busy thinking about how to save the world again. He has no time to coddle me.

The Doctor saved the world again. Clara stopped travelling with the Doctor. I wanted to hit the both of them in the head for being stupid. They lied to each other and they turned to me and made swore up and down not to reveal anything. Stupid Doctor. Stupid Clara.

I continued to travel with the Doctor. I was working on the courage to talk to him about my immortality and what it meant for our relationship. But, I was a coward and it didn’t help that the Doctor might actually avoiding the subject too.

I was glad when Clara returned to travel with the Doctor again. Apparently, they had finally told each other truth, thanks to the dream crabs and...Santa Claus? Whatever. I was just grateful team Tardis is back.

7777

Clara has become reckless and I reprimanded her about it.

“What’s the point of being immortal if you won’t live a little?” Clara blurted out.

I frowned at that, feeling a bit offended. I was beginning to feel like I wasn’t quite as welcomed aboard the Tardis as before. The Doctor has not even taking me to another date since forever and I still haven’t got around to talk to him about our practically non-existent relationship.

I sighed. Maybe I was a bit too sensitive about everything? Missy’s words did bother me a lot. But Clara is my best friend. The Doctor, regardless whether he is my boyfriend or not, is actually a good friend. I should be grateful that they still want me around right?

But, Clara is right though. I was now an immortal. Shouldn’t I change the way I have been living my life? I should stop being timid and like she said to try to take more risks.

Just when I was considering to change myself to fit the Doctor and Clara better, if that even possible, something bad happened. We met Me again in a Trap Street and Clara accidentally sealed her own fate with the Raven. She died.

She was brave right up till the end. She said goodbye to the Doctor and myself. I couldn’t accept that my best friend is about to die. I begged the Doctor to fix it. But, when I saw the sorrow and resignation on his face, I knew there is no saving Clara.

I cried over Clara’s dead body. The Doctor was gone, transported to who know where, by whoever made Me to set a trap for him.

The Doctor didn’t come back for me. Of course, he wouldn’t. I was bitter. He finally got an out from me.

7777

I was depressed, sad and alone. I couldn’t go to Me because I still have mixed feeling for her part in killing Clara. I was afraid of facing my immortality alone. Me did warned me that the Doctor, despite being immortal himself, expressed strong dislike of immortals and he tend to avoid them. He told her other immortals felt wrong to him. I was angry at him for sentencing me to a life of immortality and then abandoned me.

Kate contacted me and invited me to join UNIT. I accepted. She had her best soldier to train me to fight. I was in so much pain and I welcomed the physical pain of the training. Though, I suck at training but I was determined to change myself. If I have to going through my immortality alone, I might as well started training myself to fight to protect myself.

I was surprised when Clara returned with her own Tardis. She said she was worried for me. She was with Me, a future Me, apparently. She warned Clara about myself and the path I had chosen for myself. Clara told me about the Doctor being trapped in confession dial for billion billion years, about how he risked all time and space to bring Clara back and about how he loses his memory of her.

Clara begged me to travel with the Doctor again. “He need you more than ever...”

I wanted to cry. I didn’t want to go back to the Doctor and facing the truth that he never loves me. I wanted to be with my best friend, travelling back to the Gallifrey the long way but she refused me. I wanted to tell her all of my insecuries but I was afraid she already grew tired of it and will mock me for it.

Clara firmly made me sit. “Tell me everything you feel inside that mind of yours.” She said.

And, I told her everything. I told her about what Missy said to me and about the Doctor not caring about it. I knew I sounded pathetic but I tell her anyway.

After I was done pouring my heart out, I asked her if I was a right fit to be his companion. “Wouldn’t it better to let him move on and find a better companion that can keep him in line? Because I certainly couldn’t.”

Clara said the right words to make me feel special but I knew deep down I didn’t believe her every word. She made me promise to travel with the Doctor again and I promised. She left afterward.

I lied to her. I didn’t seek the Doctor. Why would I when he didn’t even care enough to seek me out? He might not remember Clara but he should remember me. If he care for me, he would at least try to find me to console me, wouldn’t he?

I had hope though days after days hoping he would come and get me. He didn’t. I cried, feeling sorry for myself, hating him, wishing for him to let me die instead of turning me into immortal. And then, I tried to contact him to get him to see me when I was drunk out of my mind. But he didn’t come. He abandoned me.

I went insane for a while. I picked up a knife and slit my wrist only to watch it self-healing over and over again. Kate found me eventually and took me to UNIT for treatment. She got me a therapy to help deal with my depression.

7777

After years of hard training, Kate finally allowed me on field mission. I had the advantage since I was immortal so I asked to be given dangerous mission. Kate, at first, reluctant because she recognized me of being suicidal but I insisted on it.

Kate’s science division genius person, O, developed a chip implant that could help with my depression. She agreed to give mission if I agreed to wear it. I accepted immediately.

“Will this help to mend a broken heart and broken mind? Because that would be super great.” I said softly.

After the implant, I felt less sad, less suicidal and more focused on my work at UNIT. It was like my own humanity switch.

7777

I met the Doctor again, accidentaly, during a mission in Sheffield. I was ordered to investigate a possible alien activity over there.

I enlisted a PC, Yazmin Khan, to inform me should she see something strange. She called me later that day about weird alien thing that her friend, Ryan, found earlier. The lead from them led me to the train where Ryan’s grandmother, Grace and her husband, Graham, currently trapped on board a train with an orb of electric tentacles.

That’s when a woman fell from the sky onto the train right in front of me. My eyes widened as I saw the weird stranger. The way she acted though made me suspicious and when she exclaimed having being a scotman before, I immediately knew. I was hit suddenly with grief and anger. But I didn’t say anything because she didn’t even recognize me. She didn’t even know her own name. I was afraid that I would lose control and bitch-slap the Doctor in a fit of my rage.

The Doctor involved all of us in her investigation. I stepped back while she rambled non-stop about the alien. I contacted UNIT and asked Kate to send another agent to deal with the alien and the Doctor. I didn’t give her time to refuse me. I walked away from the warehouse where we currently are when Yaz stopped me. She said the Doctor told her that everyone has been implanted by an explosive chip implant.

I laughed harshly at that. “Well, that’s fine. Maybe I will die for real this time.” I said angrily. “UNIT is sending their best officer to help in dealing with the alien. I have to go.”

Yaz look confused but didn’t stop me.

7777

Back at UNIT, the science division managed to remove the explosive from me. My whole body is shaking with anger and grief. I raised my trembling hands in annoyance. I hated that the Doctor had this effect on me. I hated her already.

Kate, being the nice boss she is, asked me of how I was doing. I was doing so badly that’s for sure.

“I need an upgrade for my chip.” I said.

Kate stared at me with disapproval.

“I’m afraid if I see her again, I might want to kill the Doctor, Kate.” I said. “Please help me.”

7777

The Tardis materialized inside UNIT’s headquarter without warning much to Kate’s dismay.

The Doctor came out, demanding to see me. It was almost like she think UNIT will get in the way of meeting me.

I stared at her, not impressed.

Kate glanced at the two of us and told us to use her office to have a long due talk.

The Doctor looked timid now that we are alone. “I’m sorry for not recognizing you before. Mind still rebooting you know. Regeneration...” She rambled on. “I remember myself eventually...and of you...”

I didn’t reply to her statement, instead I asked, “Why are you here, Doctor?”

“So, you do know who I am that day? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why should I?”

The Doctor’s jaw dropped. Now she looked like a kicked puppy. “I’m sorry for what I did to you. I didn’t mean to left you behind.”

I sighed. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It matter to me! I know I wronged you, (name).”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Doctor, because I have made a life, a life without you.” I spat. I wanted to be calm but she brought out the most ugly emotion in me.

She flinched at my tone. She scoffed at what I said. “With UNIT? I hacked your file and you have been reckless, risking your life...”

“YOU HAVE BEEN HACKING MY FILES?!”

The Doctor took a step back in face of my anger.

“You have no right to do that! You don’t even get a say over what I am doing with my life!” I yelled.

“You are my responsibility, (name).”

I scoffed. “Is that all I am to you?”

“I know I let you down.”

“You abandoned me.” I said. “Now, that I have manage to take whatever control I have over my life, you think you can just come in here and what? What do you expect from me this time, Doctor?”

“I want you to come back. I would like to travel again with you.”

“Why? Didn’t you already find new companion? I knew about Yaz, Ryan and Graham, Doctor.”

“Of course you know. UNIT always have to collect data about me.” The Doctor muttered. “But this isn’t about them. It’s about you.”

I shook my head. “It was never about me, Doctor.”

“I know I hurt you, please let me fix my mistake.”

“So now I am a mistake?”

The Doctor groaned. “That’s not what I meant. Stop twisting my words.”

“I don’t want to be with you anymore. You already had an out. Why do you bother with me again?”

“I never wanted an out. I didn’t mean to abandon you. After Trap Street, I...”

“I knew what happened, Doctor. Clara told me about your confession dial and about how you lost your memory of her.”

“I got it back. My memory of Clara.”

“Of course you do.”

The Doctor sighed. “You have always so insecure, (name).”

I glared at her. “Just leave, Doctor. I don’t need you anymore.”

“But I do.” The Doctor replied. “I need you, (name).”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. And stop dictating my feeling for you. You always like this. What was it you said before? I settled for you instead of Clara?”

I felt like I got slapped. I remembered saying those words to her previous incarnation. “How dare you? You come here like you own the place and then decided on a whim to hurt me?”

“That’s not my intention at all.” The Doctor said. “I know I am not reliable with my feeling but what I said back in Trenzalore still true, every words. I choose you, (name).”

“Why are you doing this to me? Do you just enjoy ripping my heart out?” I asked with glassy eyes.

The Doctor walked fast toward me. She raised my chin and kissed me hard.

I was stunned.

She broke the kiss and look at me shyly. “Will you give me another chance? I promise I will do right by you.”

I broke down. “Doctor...” And I suddenly clutched my chest.

“(name)?” The Doctor called out in worry.

I fell to the ground immediately but she caught me halfway. She yelled for help. She pulled her sonic and started scanning me.

Kate and a few agents rushed into the office.

7777

There was a glitch inside my chip implant. The overwhelming emotion I felt was too much and it caused it to glitch and rebooted.

I woke up in the medical room at UNIT. I could hear the Doctor yelling at Kate about the chip implant she put on me and how dangerous it was.

I pulled myself into a seating position and observed their argument absentmindedly.

The Doctor stopped yelling when she saw me awake. She look into my eyes and saw the indifferent that reflected back in my eyes. She slumped her shoulder.

The chip had rid me of my feeling...for the Doctor.

A/N: I don’t know if there will be part 2 of this. Maybe if inspiration hit, I will. But maybe it ended exactly like that. Not everyone get a happy ending is a theme on most of my fanfiction. Would anyone be interested instead to make the part 2 of their own? Honestly, I write this story with a dark!doctor in mind but the story suddenly got away from me and make a turn to this instead.

[writing-essence]

Sleepless - 12th Doctor

Pairing: 12th Doctor x Reader

Warnings: language

Summary: If you like the cheesy “only one bed” trope, you're in the right place.

Author’s Note: Currently ignoring my other responsibilities to write this for absolutely no reason because nobody wanted it but you’re getting it anyway :) -Kelsie

Word Count: 1631

The TARDIS was asleep. The usual humming of the engines were silent, the only noise was coming from your shuffling socks on the metal floor. It was pitch black but you navigated the winding hallways of the huge spaceship by using the flashlight on your cell phone.

Sleep couldn’t quite take you as it’s prisoner yet as you were kept awake by the thoughts of your last mission with The Doctor. It seemed like every other one to him, but not to you. It left a yucky taste in your mouth and un unsettling feeling in your stomach. With the amount of adventures you’ve been on with The Doctor you’d think that you’d be used to this by now, but you weren’t. You’ve seen people die before but this time was different. You naively let your mind wander afterward. What would your family think if something happened to you on one of these adventures? You knew damn well that The Doctor wouldn’t tell them shit unless you specifically asked him to. He probably wouldn’t deliver the news very kindly either.

Your intrusive thoughts had drove you out of bed with frustration and led you wandering through the sleeping TARDIS. You could only assume that The Doctor was also asleep, but you couldn’t quite picture it. The Doctor? Taking time for himself? Even for just a few hours? Completely unrealistic.

The silence surrounding you implied he was under sleep’s control though, so you continued wandering without worry. You stepped cautiously onto the metal steps of the dark bridge and shone your flashlight around the large room. It was eerie at night. It felt almost like it was dead instead of asleep.

You made your way past the console and to the wooden doors to the outside world. The Doctor claimed that he had let the TARDIS choose where to sleep that night but you swore you saw him peek at the monitor and press a few buttons before retreating for bed.

Throwing open the front doors of the TARDIS confirmed your suspicions. Either the TARDIS had a very similar taste in location as The Doctor, or he chose it himself.

The TARDIS was drifting slowly through empty space. You turned your phone flashlight off and sat at the edge of the doors, letting your legs dangle off into space. You saw no galaxies, no planets, no scary blackholes, just stars. The Doctor loves stars.

You laughed quietly to yourself as you analyzed the surrounding stars. Maybe he wasn’t crazy for liking stars so much. Without the colorful distractions of surrounding galaxies, they shone brighter.

Your heart pulled in your chest as you thought of The Doctor. How nice would it be to fall asleep with him. You probably wouldn't have to be worried about intrusive thoughts if your mind was focused on other things. His arms... his hands… You blushed to yourself, shaking out the thoughts before letting your mind wander further.

Suddenly feeling rather sleepy, you stood up and closed the wooden doors before retreating back to your bedroom.

When the TARDIS was awake she would often swap around the rooms, helping you access which ones you needed. She was sleeping now, and you had to find your room yourself. You traced your footsteps back down the winding hallway perfectly and made it back quickly. The only problem was, your door had been swapped. Or, that’s what appeared to have happened. In fact, it now had the same door as The Doctor’s bedroom. You spun on your heel quickly trying to figure out if you had gone back to the right way. You had, but the location of your room seemed to have been swapped with The Doctor’s.

The TARDIS must’ve done it in her sleep…

You ran quickly down the hallway figuring where The Doctor’s room used to be must be where your room is now. Once you got there, you realized that was not the case. The Doctor’s bedroom door was there, just like it had been before.

You began to grow frustrated, you just wanted to sleep. You angrily started to wander the hallways, attempting to search for your room but The Doctor’s just kept popping up. This wasn’t a coincidence. The TARDIS was doing it on purpose.

“Knock it off!” You whispered angrily at the ‘sleeping’ ship.

After a few more minutes of wandering you gave up with a frustrated “humf!” and sat against the wall across from The Doctor’s door.

Maybe you’d just sleep there. It seemed like you didn’t have much of a choice in the matter.

Your frustration must’ve been louder than you thought. The door across from you swung open revealing a very much awake Doctor.

“What are you doing?” He asked, eyeing your seat on the metal floor.

“The TARDIS hid my bedroom,” You mumbled, crossing your arms angrily.

The Doctor sighed and mumbled something under his breath, probably to the naughty ship.

“You can sleep in my bed tonight,” He said, stepping out of his room and ushering you in.

You stood up cautiously and let him push you into the dark bedroom.

“Doctor, I can’t do that,” You said, spinning around to face him, “Where will you sleep?”

“I don’t need sleep,” He smiled at you and pat your arm reassuringly, “Goodnight,”

The door closed quickly and you slowly walked over to the large bed against the back wall. This was forbidden territory. The Doctor was feared among millions and worshiped among millions more. And there you were, invited to sleep in his bed.

A ‘thump’ came from outside the door and was quickly followed by some angry whispering. You opened the door to find The Doctor kicking at the wall of the TARDIS out of frustration.

“Doctor?” You inquired, raising an eyebrow, “Everything okay?”

“No,” He sighed, running a hand over his tired features, “The TARDIS won’t let me leave,”

Your heart soared in your chest when you realized what she was doing. The beating in your chest increased. This was the perfect chance! Shoot your shot!

“Maybe...” You mumbled as you rubbed your sweaty palms on your pants, “we could both sleep in here,”

The Doctor stared at you with his usual intense glare and you immediately regretted saying anything. He spoke before you could take it back.

“I suppose it’s our only option,” He said, avoiding eye contact as he slipped past you into the bedroom.

“As long as you’re comfortable,” You said, quickly rushing to his side.

“Of course,” He said (all too quickly), “Will you be?”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you looked up at him, “More than,”

A smile reached the edge of his mouth then he quickly spun around and climbed into the bed. You cautiously followed, slipping into the other side. You made sure to keep as much distance between the two of you as possible. An awkward tension settled in the air.

“Doctor…” You cringed as your voice filled the empty silence, “If I died, what would you tell my family?”

He glanced over at you with a confused expression.

“Maybe I should rephrase that,” You giggled, “When I die, tell my family the truth,”

“Why would I do that?”

“They deserve to know,”

“I won’t let you die,” He said, his voice far lower than before.

“Promise?” You joked, reaching over and poking his arm playfully.

His hand grabbed your wrist, turning it over and exposing your empty palm. Your heart felt like it had stopped. Had you overstepped your boundaries?

“I promise you,” He said, making direct eye contact with you, “I won’t let you die,”

“I feel as if that’s a promise you make most people,” You whispered, letting him rub your open palm with his thumb, “A promise you can’t keep,”

His thumb stopped and he looked back up at you again.

“I try my best,”

You could tell that you had hit a sensitive nerve and you quickly pull your hand away.

“I know you do,” You said, scooching closer to him, “Promise me you’ll try your best, then,”

He watched you for a moment in the dark before glancing down.

“I promise you I’ll try my best,”

It was you who grabbed his hand now, entangling your fingers with his. Something you had done before, but this time it felt different.

“I can’t let you die,” He said suddenly, looking back up at you, “I love you,”

“I love you too, silly,” You laughed awkwardly but his expression faltered.

“No,” His voice got low again and he pulled his hand away, “No, no, no, no,”

“No what?”

His hand ran tiredly over his face again as he shook his head. He sighed deeply.

“I love you,”

Your mouth dropped open in to a small “o” and you looked away from his piercing gaze. You stayed silent, not knowing what to say. You felt the same, obviously, but you were too caught off guard to think correctly.

“If I overstepped my boundaries-” He started.

You quickly cut in, “I love you too.”

It was his turn to be surprised. The two of you sat in silence awkwardly now only a few inches apart.

“Is it like this with all your companions?” You mumbled, needing to know the answer.

“No,” He said quickly, “I don’t normally… let myself,”

“Let yourself what?”

He glanced up at you as you both started to lean closer.

“Fall in love,” He said quietly.

You brought your hand up quickly to cup his face, pulling it down to meet yours in a soft kiss. It was quick, but long-awaited.

“Was that alright then?” You blushed, second-guessing yourself.

“That was more than alright,” He laughed before kissing you again, “I suppose we can’t be mad at the TARDIS anymore,”

“I suppose,”

[lobothepunkwolf]

Alexander Hansen | Interlude Self Para Part One | Heavy

[TRIGGER WARNING: Death and Description of Attempted Suicide]

June 15th 2020

The rain came down hard against the window of the building, sounding like pebbles hitting concrete. Normally rain was calming for Alex. It was something that was a rarity for his part of Texas. In the little town of Driftwood, rain was a relief from the dry heat. It meant that the ranches and farms around were going to flourish. It meant that the creek was closer to a river, which was much more fun to swim in. It was a blessing from Heaven.

Today, however, that blessing felt like a curse. He sat in the room, across from the Psychiatrist he's come to know as Dr. Thomas Mallory. The man was older, his once dirty blond hair graying from age, his sharp features softened. His eyes were like a deep dark sea, filled with a curiosity and understanding that Alex wasn't used to. It pissed him off beyond belief, and he couldn't figure out why the man filled him with such rage. Maybe it was the fact that the man had shown him kindness that the world has seemed to forgot? Or maybe it was the absolute hope that the man had. 

Sitting cross legged on the couch in front of Mallory, Alex played with the sleeves of the dark blue long sleeve shirt issued by the hospital he was in. His clothes were taken from him once he arrived… god knew how long ago. All of it felt like a fever dream. The black slipper socks and same colored pants almost felt like his scrubs. At least that was a comfort in the long silence that set between them.

"Dr. Kenzie told me you haven't been participating in group therapy." Mallory finally spoke up, his deep voice filled with a softness that nearly made the man cringe. He didn't need coddling and understanding. He needed out, back to the operating room. Back to Grey-Sloan, back to the distraction that was his job. Still playing with his sleeve, he didn't look up at the man.

"Mr. Hans--"

"Dr. Hansen." He looked up and snapped quietly at the man, a frown on his face. "I worked for that title. I'd like to be called it."

A surprised look crossed Mallory's face as the man finally spoke up, but a smile quickly replaced it. "Anger. That's a sign of progress. It can be productive. Let's go off of that. What are you angry about?"

Alex opened his mouth to speak before closing it, frowning. Taking a moment, he turned to face him. "I'm angry that I'm stuck in this room, in this hospital, when there's patients out there that need help. When I was workin' on ground breakin' work with one of the most brilliant surgeons in the U.S. I'm angry that I'm stuck here in a room with you and your stupid face."

"That's a bit mean, Dr. Hansen. But very telling and very understandable. It's understandable to feel this way, especially in these times. It's understandable to feel helpless, when your entire career is dedicated to helping the helpless." Mallory chuckled a bit, leaving back in his chair. "But, I hope you understand I'm not the one who put you here. We're trying to help you be the best you can be, that way you can get back to doing what you do: helping the helpless." Placing his hand in his lap, the man continued, "I've read over your medical file. This isn't the first time you've been in a facility like this. How about we talk about that?"

Hansen fell silent, looking away from him and back down at his lap, fidgeting with his hands. Mallory raised an eyebrow, giving the man an encouraging smile. "Okay. Instead of talking about your time while you were there, how about we talk about what led your there? We can compare similarities to what happened now, detect patterns of red flags to help you in the future."

Alex looked at him, before closing his eyes. 

July 20th 2002

"Arg-- I've been shot--" a boy about eight years old with dark brown hair clutched his chest as he fell in the grass of the backyard with a dramatic groan. A girl with long hair of a similar color ran towards him with a white bag. Kneeling beside him, she pulled out a toy stethoscope and put it up to his chest, pretending to listen. 

"Sounds like the bullet entered your lung. I gotta do an emergency removal!" The girl said, a dramatic tone tinged with her southern accent. She then pulled out her toy forceps and pretended to remove the imaginary bullet, pressing it a little harder into his chest than she meant to.

"Ouch-- Allie, be careful--" the boy pouted. Allie stuck her tongue out at him, pulling them away.

"Don't be a big baby, Alex. Besides, I got the bullet, which means I'm the best trauma surgeon around!" She giggled and tossed it to the side. Alex puffed his cheeks out, crossing his arms. 

"I'm not a big baby, and only 'cause I'm the best cop around."

Allie rolled her eyes and laid in the grass next to him, looking up at the summer sky above them. "You're gonna be the easiest target out there with your big ol' dumbo ears." She turned to look at him, grinning widely.

"Uh-huh, and you won't be able to see your scalpel with that big nose of yours." Alex smirked back at her. The two started giggling to each other and sighed, enjoying the summer breeze that was blowing. A silence fell between them, before Allie spoke up. 

"When we graduate, we can move to Austin together. Best brother-sister duo out there, Cop and Doctor. Gonna be savin’ the world!"

Alex looked at his sister with a smile and nodded. Reaching his hand out towards her, she took it, and they laid there together. Summer days seemed to last forever. And he was grateful for every moment he had.

August 12th 2004

"Alex, Allie. Time to get up and get ready for school!" A motherly voice called out from downstairs. Alex sat up in his bed, rubbing his eyes. It was their first day of fourth grade. They had the same teacher, and he knew that they'd be sitting next to each other. Smiling excitedly, he got up and quickly got dressed, rushing out to the hall. Allie came from her room, groggily holding her stomach. "Mama.. I don't feel good." She called out. 

Alex looked concerned at his twin sister, seeing how pale her face was. A woman with dark graying hair and brown soft eyed came upstairs and frowned worriedly when she saw her daughter.

"Oh, baby… you don't look so good.." that concern only grew between everyone when Allie turned to vomit in her room. The woman rubbed the girls back and shushed her. "It's okay.. it's probably just a stomach bug.. c'mon, let's get you cleaned up. I'll take you to the doctor.." she turned to Alex, "Go get ready for school. Your Pa'll take you. Virgil?" She called down the stairs, "I need you to take Alex to school. Allie and I are goin' to the doctor."

Alex pouted a bit, unsure about starting a year of school without his sister. He was even more worried about her. "But I wanna be with Allie, Mama--" he said

"Do as I say, Alexander." She said, a little sharply, causing the boy to turn on his heels and towards his room.

September 20th 2009

"Jenny said she misses ya, and wishes she could come and see ya. She made the cheer team at school." Alex, now fifteen, sat next to Allie in her hospital bed, smiling at her. "Darren is.. still a dick. But, I mean, that's what ya get when you got a crush on a dumb jock."

"Alex, be nice." Allie chuckled quietly, laying back in her bed. She looked a little more sickly than Alex was used to seeing. Her skin was pale and she was losing so much weight. It was a big concern with him. He pushed his parents to take her to a doctor in Austin, something. Finally, they listened when she started throwing up blood. They rushed her thirty minutes into the City where they got the diagnosis: Stage Four Stomach Cancer. When he heard the news, Alex was filled with anger. They could have caught this before it got this far if they just went and got her checked by someone more qualified than the town doctor. If they did more than hope and pray. Now, here his twin sister was, his other half, dying in a hospital bed. There was nothing the surgeons could do but make her comfortable. And Alex made sure he drove every day to see her. He couldn't stand spending a moment away from her. 

"You know.." she said, breaking him from his thoughts, "You grew into those dumbo ears of yours. Now they're only slightly too big."

Alex looked at her and smiled a bit, "Wish I could say the same 'bout your nose." 

She laughed and laid back, shaking her head as she reached her hand out for his. He looked at it and took it gently, intertwining their fingers carefully. They sat there in silence before she spoke up again. "Smile more. Girls might actually like you… Maybe even boys." She teased, laughing a bit when he gave her a worried look, "I haven't told Pa or Ma 'bout you and Dylan, don't worry… but you got that dopey grin when you're really happy. And it's a great thing to see. Share it with the world."

"Ain't much to smile 'bout these days." He admitted, mostly to himself. She gave him an incredulous look. "I mean with how the world is." He backtracked a bit, shaking his head. "It's all crazy."

"Alexander Joseph Hansen, I ain't gonna let you die inside." She pouted at him, squeezing his hand. "Go see Dylan after this. Go out to eat somewhere. Live your life, Alex. At least for me."

'I don't know how to do that without you' was what he wanted to say. Taking a deep breath, he smiled and nodded at her. "Alright, sis. I promise."

October 17th 2009

[Come up to the hospital now]

That was the only text he got from his older brother as he left the cafeteria towards the parking lot and to his car. There was nothing stopping him as he tore out of the parking lot and towards Austin. Something was wrong, and he knew it this morning when he woke up. Something felt off and this text just confirmed the feeling in the pit of his stomach. He rushed as fast as he could on the highway and nearly skidded into a parking spot. Putting the car in park, he quickly got out and ran into the building as fast as he could. Once he got up on his sister's floor, he saw his mother sobbing into his father's shoulder. His brother looked up from his spot on the floor, his face covered in tears. He barely recognized the tears that were streaming down his face as he looked at the room, his body consumed with anger and sorrow. No. He couldn't lose her this way. It wasn't happening. It was a nightmare. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't wake up from it. His world was underneath that white sheet, behind that hospital room door. And despite her being only yards away, he's never felt lonelier in his life. 

July 18th 2010

"You sure you don't want to come to service with us tonight?" His mother stood at the door, leaning against his door frame with a worried look on her face. Alex sat on his bed, cross legged and playing with the hem of his shirt. 

"Nah, Ma.. I'll be fine." He looked up at her, a smile on his lips that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm just tired.. I'm gonna go to bed early. So I can get up and help the Dillon's with their barn."

She let out a sigh and walked into the room, wrapping the boy in her arms and gently kissing the top of his head. "Alright, baby… get some rest. We'll be at the church next door if you need anything. I love you.." With that, she left the room. 

Alex laid in the bed, staring at the ceiling, as the hours passed. He was exhausted beyond belief, but every time he closed his eyes, all he saw was his sister. His heart felt empty, and no matter how much he tried, he couldn't move past that day. The world was colder and duller without his twin. They had done everything together, ever since they were little. A lump in this throat, he got out of the bed and stumbled to the bathroom. He just wanted to feel her one last time. Be by her side again. He rummaged through the medicine cabinet, pulling out the painkillers that Dr. Shelley had prescribed her for her pain. The stupid idiot who took his sister away from him. But now, they would be together again. Forever.

As he felt the darkness overcome him, he thought he could hear his mother scream and the clatter of a pill bottle on the floor.

June 15th 2020

"I think that's enough for today. You're making progress." Mallory smiled brightly as he sat the pen down on the notebook in front of him. "And that's the first step towards recovery. Is being open. I'm sure you've heard this all the time… but if you ever need anything during your stay here, don't hesitate to ask. We're only here to help you. Now, I think it's rec time. Go get some fresh air out in the yard. It'll definitely make you feel better. 

Alex frowned a bit and rubbed his neck. Despite hours of talking with the man, he still felt like there was a weight on his feet, dragging his down beneath the dark cold water. Looking out the window, he saw that the rain had started, revealing a summer sky. Maybe his sister really was looking down at him, now happy he finally spoke about that bottled up emotion.

[the-mangled-readings]

Project AI0.043 (Part 1)

A/N: SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG! And yes it's Short But I been busy between my vacation and coming back to work. Anywho, So I had a question about whether I was going to make the name Anya a code name or what was going to happen since it’s a Five Hargreeves x Reader, it will be temporary, I promise, it will get changed later on.

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Fem! Reader

Story Summary: On the 12th Hour of the first day of October 1989, 43 women around the world gave birth. This was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began. Sir Reginald Hargreeves, eccentric billionaire and adventurer, resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible. He got seven of them but never found the last one.

Chapter Summary: The Handler and The Reader began their plans on Five Hargreeves as he joins them in The Commission.

Warnings: Small Flashback from the reader, none much yet.

Word Count: 1503

Tag List: @featuringcone9 @lesbianismybitchname @fiveisadorable

PROLOGUE | PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 5.5 | PART 6 | PART 6.5 | PART 7

“Miss, are you sure about this?” A young woman that looked like on her mid 20′s questioned, dressed in black attire, turning to the tall blonde woman who was carrying a black case on her right hand.

“My dear Anya, have we not taught you enough?” She took her black sunglasses off and placed a hand on girl’s right cheek “He’s only going to do our dirty work and after that ... well, you know what to do.” She winked at her, and you just nodded looking down, remembering your past missions. “Now, can you examine the perimeter, we need to make sure that we are one step ahead of him in case he tries anything, you’ll be able to handle it.”

You nodded again and turned to a small building that seemed to be standing still, it was a library, it took you a second and then you spoke softly.

“It seems like he’s speaking to a mannequin, he’s on his mid 50′s, he’s running out of resources, he’s armed and scared, he’s been in this timeline for too long ...” You looked back at the tall woman who was putting her sunglasses back on while smiling. “Excelent” She said mockingly as she retouched her red lipstick and fixing her little hat. “Let’s get going then ... You know your place, stay put, and I will call you when the deal is done.”

The tall well-dressed woman began to walk away. Closing your eyes, you started to remember as you heard the clicking of her heels fade away as she got closer to the building ...

Click ...

“No, Please! Stop! I don’t wanna do this anymore !” You screamed in pain, breathing heavily.

Click ...

“Hold Still Anya, you know that we need to push your boundaries ...” The Doctor looked at you worried, knowing your condition, you were just 7 years old, your body wasn’t that strong for the treatment.

Click ...

“Please, it hurts !” Your eyes began to tear, shaking your head, you tried to get rid of the stinging pain from your temples.

Click ...

“I’m sorry ... It’s for your own good.” The man spoke as he forcefully placed a mouthpiece into you. You closed your eyes and screamed as one of the nurses shakingly handed the Doctor the sticks that he would place again on your sensitive temples, and then you felt the electricity hit your body again.

The ground and the objects around them began to move, the lights begin to flicker, your veins begin to flare up. The nurse and the Doctor ran to the locked door, screaming for help. You opened your eyes and screamed, releasing yourself and your anger around the room which transformed into a fire and everything went dark.

You opened your eyes, shaking your head, you looked around and began to walk behind the building. You could hear them talking, she was just finishing up.

“So ... Do we have an Agreement?” She asked stretching out her hand for Number Five to take. He scoffed and looked back to his mannequin, and back to the woman who was still stretching out her hand, walking towards her he hesitantly took her hand. “Welcome to The Commission.” She smiled coldly.

“Anya will help you get settled, back at headquarters once we get there.” She looked past Five, which caught his attention.

“Anya?” Five questioned, turning around, his eyes went wide at your sudden appearance. You were holding the mannequin he was talking to earlier. “Now, what do you think you’re doing !” He suddenly pulled out his rifle and pointed at you shakingly. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you Five ... Anya is a very well skilled assassin, far more skilled than you if I may say ...” The woman trailed off. You just stood there looking at Five, from head to toe.

“Please, lower your gun Five ... I am no threat, I was just curious about Delores.” Five slowly lowered his rifle, mouth open. “How do you know her name ?”

The tall woman chuckled at the sudden question. “As I said earlier, she’s far more skilled than you Five.” Then Five shook his head and snapped sarcastically. “Or maybe she was spying on me earlier when I was talking to her ...” You began to walk towards him, lifting Delores in the air, moving your right hand, placing her right in front of Five. “Or maybe I’m special, just like you.” Letting go of Delores he quickly caught her.

“You have powers too ...” You smiled at him.

Back in Headquarters, everybody stopped and stepped aside from the three of you. Five was walking behind you and the woman, he looked angry and terrified, knowing that these people were the cause of the apocalypse, he got a grip of his bag, swaying Delores on his back as he walked. The three of you came to a stopping point, making the woman turn to the two of you and smiled.

“Well, Anya, he’s all yours. Five, I will be looking forward to your work.” She winked at him and walked away into a door closing behind her, leaving the two of you alone. “Very well, now, if you could follow me to your room Mr. Hargreeves.” You began to walk in the opposite direction. 

“I haven’t heard that last name in a long time ...” He whispered annoyed. You turned to frown your eyebrows to him, looking at him, you began to feel his pain, slowly walking towards him, you tried to reach for his hand. “It must be hard ...” Then it all hit you, his anger, sadness, regret. “Being by yourself all this time, without your siblings ...” He pulled his hand away from you. “I wasn’t by myself ... I had Delores with me.” You looked behind him, seeing the old faded mannequin, trying to ignore the fact that he even considered it a person. “Yeah, well, I guess we all have our coping ways ...” You turned trailing off. “What do you even know, you haven’t been by yourself for --” He snapped but suddenly stopped, floating frozen in mid-air, dropping his bag along with his mannequin. You had your right hand tight in a fist, your veins were slightly glowing.

“Yeah, well I have been tortured and manipulated since I was a kid ... and yet, I still have to act like nothing happened.” Letting go our your first, he was about to fall into the ground when you lifted your hand capturing him just in time, regaining him his balance back you lowered your hand, he stood there now impressed of your abilities. “Look, I’m sorry ... I didn’t mean it, it’s just that I’m not really good with people, as you can tell.” You chuckled nervously looking down at the floor. “Yeah, I can see that ...” He looked at you as he lifted his belongings.

“Everybody in here is either scared or mad at me, I have a bad reputation since I was brought here, they think I don’t remember but since I can read their minds and feel their emotions ... well.” You just shrugged your shoulders, Five nodded, understanding your situation. Both of you began to walk down the hallway until the both of you came to a stop.

“So, who is she?” Five asked as he looked around his new room, it was small but cozy. “She’s The Handler, she’s also the one that brought me here ... She’s basically like my mother, in her own ways of course, and she can be ... quite difficult at times, so you have to be careful around her, what you say or do.”

“I can tell, and thank you for the tip.” Five looked at you as you walked around the small room. “I also didn’t have the best ... childhood neither father or life so --”

“I know, you and your siblings were quite famous back in the days, now they all just went on their separate ways.”

Five smiled at the comment, remembering the small fun times he had with his siblings before traveling through time. “Yeah, well ... it’s not like we had another choice, we were practically dragged into all that.” He took a seat by the bed, placing his bag into the floor, and laying Delores into the bed.

“Well, you kinda have one now ...” You looked at him.

“There’s a way to stop the Apocalypse, I can help you, but you’re gonna have to do everything as I say ... Okay ?” He heard your voice inside his head as you started to walk to the door. “Do you mean it ?” He looked at you, his eyes filled with hope. “Yes ... but it will be our secret.” You winked at him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning Mr. Hargreeves.” Opening the door you turned to him, just to find him smiling widely. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning ... Anya.”

[twelveseyebrows]

Unrequited? 12th Doctor x compainion reader.

Another yawn escaped through your lip as you tiredly blinked at The Doctor’s unmoving back.

“Go to sleep, [Y/N].” The Doctor sternly ordered you for the third time that night. You said up straighter in the small armchair and shook your head a little, a vain attempt to stay awake.

“I’m not tired.” You unconvincingly lied, in a somewhat forced upbeat voice. The Doctor placed his piece of chalk down as turned to you for the first time in three hours. You ducked your head a little at his piercing stare, a blush forming on your cheeks already.

“You have been yawning for the last hour.” He pointed out, dusting his chalk cover hands on the back of his coat. You rolled your eyes, knowing full well he was going to have hand prints on his back now.

“Okay, I am a little tired.” You confessed, The Doctor opened his mouth again to speak. “But, I’m staying awake.” The Doctor instantly closed his mouth, a deep scowl on his features. He turned sharply, his back facing you, and walked back to the black board. You stifled a laugh as you noticed the two hand prints on his coat, you knew were going to be there.

“Something funny?” The Doctor called out. You quickly cut of your laughter, not wanting him to discover the stains. If he knew they were there he’d take his coat of and that would be terribly unfortunate for you. You adored the way he looked in that velvet coat. Your eyes gazed up the back of his thin form, across his pointed shoulders before settling on his long, fluffy light hair. A small, tender smile making its way onto your lips, you truely did love this man.

“What is it?” The Doctor snapped breaking you from your gaze as you jumped in your seat. He was now facing you and you could clearly see his face, he didn’t look very happy with you at all. The glare he was sending you shouldnt have given you butterflies but just seeing his face made you happy.

“Pardon?” You blurted out. The man in front of you sighed in frustration as he rubbed his face harshly.

“Why do you keep staring?” He snapped again. You sat up straighter, unsure why he was so angry.

“You just have chalk on your back.” You mumbled out, getting a tad bit mad at him for the way he was acting.

“And what about every other night?” He yelled as he threw his long arms out in anger. You were really caught of guard by his aggressive nature right now, you stood up from you seat and glance at the stairs leading down towards the console.

“What’s wrong?” You tenderly asked, trying and failing to defuse the situation.

“You!” He growled out as he tugged his hair a little. “Every night you spend on the T.A.R.D.I.S you force yourself to stay awake! Every single time, you’ll do it till you fall asleep.” He started to pace, hands behind his back as he thought out loud.

“What about you? You don’t sleep either.” You blurted out, not wanting to encourage this odd fight but also wanting to draw the attention away from your stalkerish behaviour.

“I sleep when I need it, unlike you.” He snapped back, not missing a beat. “You don’t even do anything but watch me when your tired.” His pacing suddenly stopped, he turned towards you and started to stare.

You saw a small glint in his eye and you started to panic, you knew that look, it was his investigation look. He started to slowly walk towards you with a look of deep concretration in his eyes. You felt yourself getting flustered under his gaze and it made you squirm.

“Why do you insist on staying awake just to watch me?” He mumbled out, you guessed the question was rhetorical because he didn’t wait for you to answer before he started to monologue as he circled you.

“You’ll stay awake for hours on end untill your body gives out to watch me, no matter what activity I’ll be doing. Most things I do require my full concerntration, meaning we don’t actually speak at all. Why? Why, do you act so strangely? Is it a type of god complex towards me? Humans have such tiny brain and I know it’s hard for them to wrap their heads around time travel and Time Lords. No, that can’t be right, [Y/N] has been travelling with me for almost a human year, she’s used to it by now!”

You squirmed under his gaze, absolutely suffering. You loved his attention, you craved it but this, this was too much and you were starting to fall apart. He was quickly eliminating reasons for your late nights with him and it wouldn’t be long before he realised your feelings.

“I can just stop, if it bothers you that much?” You muttered out. The Doctor paused as he stared at you, fulling taking in your appearance. His eyes danced over your blushed features as his eyes zoned in on you quick light breaths.

“You’re blushing.” He pointed out in confusion, you gasped in shock, covering your face quickly. The Doctor quickly rushed towards you standing awfully close, he tenderly placed his soft hands over yours and pryed them away. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as he leaned in towards your face, was he going to kiss you? You licked your lips as your [E/C] eyes drifted towards his thin lips.

“You’re blushed darken, the closer I got.” He suddenly spoke, breaking you out of your trance. “Pupils dialated, pulse picked up.” He whispered as he gripped you hand a little tighter, fingers pressing into your pulse point. “Subject subconscious licked lips, a human tell tale trait for affection.” Your heart dropped as he started to work out your crush, what hurt more was that he was treating you as an experiment.

“Doctor, please.” You whispered as you tried to release yourself from his grip. He continued to list facts about your behaviour towards him as tears started to well in your eyes.

“Conclusion, [Y/N] is in love with me...” he finally finished, trailing off as his eyes widen. He let go off your hands in shocked and back up, creating as much distance between the two of you as possible. The stabbing pain in your heart got worse at his obvious repulsion towards your feelings.

“Do you love me, [Y/N]?” The Doctor Whispered.

“Goodnight Doctor.” You rushed out as tears started to fall freely from your eyes. You quickly pushed pasted him and ran down the stairs as quick as possible, trying to get away from him.

You ran towards your room, finding it suprisenly quicker than you expected. You sent a silent thank you to the T.A.R.D.I.S for helping you to your room. Once inside you slammed the door shut, hand hovering over the lock before deciding against it. The Doctor might was to talk to you, so you left it unlocked and threw yourself onto the bed. You laid still as you strained your ears, waiting to hear the familiar sound of The Doctors footsteps but they never came, you eventually drifted off to sleep.

...

You awoke with a startle as the T.A.R.D.I.S violently shook. Sitting up you took in your surroundings, you were in the T.A.R.D.I.S’ guest room that you have claimed as your own. Your memory of last night was hazy as you desperately tried to think of how you got in here. You stood up in confusion about to seek out The Doctor when it all suddenly hit you.

You remembered The Doctors piercing blue eyes as he evaluated you. The way he discovered the feelings you had hidden for months in less than 5 minutes just because he was curious. A fierce blush burned across your cheeks as you warily eyed the bedroom door. The Doctor was out there somewhere and he knew you loved him, you gulped nervously as you thought about staying in bed today.

“No, I can’t hide from him in his own house, Uh, ship.” You corrected yourself, if you really needed to hide away from the man it was best you did it in your own house and time. You breathed in and out deeply as you hyped yourself up to open the door and face the one you loved.

With all the confidence you could possible muster after last night, you pressed the button at the side of the door to open it. The hallway was quiet which was a huge relief for your nervous self. You continued to walk towards the console room, hyper aware of your surroundings, straining all your senses to try and locate The Doctor, you didn’t have to wait long as you heard his tell tale mumbles come from The Console room.

You reached the end of the corridor and decided to just assist the situation, The Doctor was running around the console pushing buttons and pulling levels, just general attempting to fly the T.A.R.D.I.S. You smiled softly to yourself at his cute face of concentration, those damn eyebrows too. Suddenly The Doctors back straighting and a look on confusion crossed his aged features, he looked around himself briefly before looking up and making eye contact with you.

You gasped lightly at his intense stare, so many emotions running through his steel blue eyes. You were unsure if it was your imagination or the slight telepathic link The Doctor often gave off, but you suddenly felt like crying. So many raw emotions hit you at one, Worry, Protectiveness, happiness, sadness, fear, hope and love. A single tear slipped down your cheek, you hastily wiped at it, not wanting him to see it but it was too late. His eyes narrowed as he focused on the small tear that escaped your eyes and like a faucet get turned off, the emotions were gone. The Doctors eyes didn’t bleed his emotions like they just did, they were cold and stoic, he had put his walls back up.

You wiped your eyes and walked into the console room, if The Doctor was going to hide his emotions and pretend that theirs nothing here between us, then so will you.

“Morning, Doctor!” You chirped happily, walking straight up to the console as if non of that just happened. The Doctor look completely startled by your sudden out burst of cheerfulness, what ever he expected this certainly wasn’t it. You walked up to the small seat near the console and sat down, crossing your legs.

The Doctor furrowed his brows in confusion as he stared at you. His mouth opened slightly as he took a step towards you, something cut him off through as he screwed up his face and turned towards the console.

“So, [Y/N], where do you want to go today?”He cheered as he geastured towards the T.A.R.D.I.S’ console. “Anywhere in time and space?” He turned giving you a grin. A frown appeared on your lips as you took in his smile, it was there but it didn’t quite reach his lips, he was faking it.

“What?” The Doctor asked suddenly his facade dropping as he stood up straight and gave you that confused look again.

“Doctor, don’t strain yourself trying to act normal.” You snapped as you crossed your arms. The Doctor look bewildered at your sudden outburst before his own face set into a frown.

“You are one to talk [Prefered Title] [L/N]!”he snapped. This made you perk up, was he seriously trying to put the blame on you.

“What is that suppose to mean?” You growled as you stood up from your seat and strutted over to the Timelord. He had the advantage of height but that was not going to stop you from giving him a piece of your mind.

“You declare you “love” me a few hours ago but act like it’s nothing now.” He taunted, putting emphasis on the word love. You heart clenched at the teasing tone he made when referring to your feelings, it hurt that he didn’t take them seriously.

“First of all, I never declare my love for you, you assu-“

“Well you might of well had declare it with how obvious you made it.” He interrupt nonchalantly. You felt you face blush, embarrassed. You tighten you fist, digging your nails into your palms trying to calm down.

“Secondly, YOU started this closing off bullshit!”

“Language.” He snapped again, you growled in frustration. He was literally impossible to deal with.

“Are you going to ignore what happened this morning!” You screamed, tear now gather in your [E/C] eyes, threatening to fall. “I felt it Doctor, I felt everything” you cried.

The Doctors face went cold and for once you couldn’t read him. You walked up to the Alien, tears slipping down your cheeks, but he told a step back, away from you and turning his back.

“I felt the happinesses when you saw me and the fear, the love.” You whispered, but The Doctor didn’t react, he just stood leaning against the console.

“Doctor.” You whispered again, nothing. Anger, frustration and hurt that had been building up inside you suddenly exploded.

“Doctor I know you love me too! So why are you doing this?” You yelled, desperate for him to answer you. Suddenly he spun around sharply his face absolutely murderous.

“Love you?” He cackled, “I don’t love you, [Y/N]!” You heart shattered into a million pieces.

“But, I felt your emotions.” You weakly tried to defend your statement, all the fight in you had vanished the same time your heart did.

“You felt my emotion, yes, but no one said they were for you.” He snapped, turning his back towards you again as he paced. “I’m over 2000 years old, I have been in love many time with many people I have lost. I was thinking of them.” He said as he turned towards you once more. “Not you.”

Tears fell freely from your eyes now, leaving hot trails of sorrow down your face. The Doctors hard exterior broke briefly as he watched you break down but he was just as quick to rebuild those walls.

“I think I’d like to go home now.” You bravely said, choking back on your sobs to try to appear more confident. The Doctor was silent before he started to fiddle with the console.

“Very well.” The T.A.R.D.I.S came to life as she started to wheeze the beautiful sound as she travelled through time and space. Everything suddenly stop and you knew this was it for you.

The Doctor faced the exist doors and clicked his fingers. The doors opening at his command revealing your living room just they way you left it a year ago.

“15th August, 2018, the same day you left, give or take a few hours.” You ignored him as you wiped the tears from his eyes and started towards the T.A.R.D.I.S hallway.

“I’ll give you a few days, well you’ll have a few days to calm down an- wait where are you going?” The Doctor asked as he watched you disappear down the hallway. You ignored him as you keep walking towards your bedroom. The Doctor followed you curious as to what you were doing.

Once in your room you immediately started to pack your things. You felt The Doctor’s presence at the door and his eyes watching you intently.

“Your allowed to leave your things on the T.A.R.D.I.S.” He gently spoke, “so everything’s already set up when you get back.”

“I’m not coming back, Doctor.” You sighed as you gathered the last of your things and faces him.

“What?” The Doctor chocked out, you looked him in the eyes and were surprised to see pain.

“I can’t stay here.” You whispered as you avoided eye contact. “Sorry.” With that you pushed past him and ran towards the console room. You were surprised to hear footsteps right behind you, The Doctor was running too.

“[Y/N]!” He shouted as got closer and closer. You were almost out the T.A.R.D.I.S when you felt him grab your hand and pull you back in. You stood still as you faced away from him, him still gripping your hand tightly making your stomach turn like crazy.

“Why do you have to leave?” His voice sounded so broken, it made you want to stay. It made you want to hold him close and tell him that you’ll never leave but you knew it wouldn’t be like that, The Doctor didn’t love you. He seemed to sense your inner turmoil or perhaps it was because of the psychic link, but he spun you around to look at him as he spoke.

“You don’t have to go, I-I love you.” He choked out, a deep blush dusting his cheeks. You felt like you had been punched in the guts, knocking the wind out of your lungs.

“Doctor, please don’t lie to me just to convince me to stay, it’s cruel, even for your standeds.” The Doctors bashful expression was replaced by confusion.

“What?”

You removed her hand from his grip and left the T.A.R.D.I.S’ shutting the door behind you, hoping he’ll take the hint and leave. Instead you heard the door reopen as he followed you into your apartment.

“Doctor, please can you ju-“ you turned around ready to convince him to leave but we’re cut of my your mouth being covered. Oh... oh! You thought as you realised that your mouth had indeed been covered but by The Doctor’s lips. You gasped breaking the short one sided kiss as you backed away from him in shock. “Why?”

He opened his mouth before shutting it and closing his eyes instead, you were about to question him when a slightly sharp pain was felt in your temples. It felt like something was trying to pry its way inside your brain.

“Doctor.” You panicked, squeezing your eyes shut. You felt The Doctors long, bony fingers gentlely Caress your left temple as he spoke.

“Shh, just relax, it’s only me.”

You relax simply at the sound of his soft voice whispering reassurance to you. Slowly the pain disappeared and was replaced by a small tingle that buzzed in you skull. You were about to ask a The Doctor what was happening when you were suddenly over run by emotions. It was like what happened earlier but extremely more intense.

“This is everything I feel for you.” He whispered as he placed his forehead down, against yours. “I lied earlier, all of this is for you.”

Tears slipped out your eyes at the overwhelming feeling of pure love emitting from The Timelord.

“I love you too.” You sobbed as you threw your arms around your love. He tensed briefly before relaxing and squeezing you back.

“Please stay.” He begged quietly into your ear.

“For the rest of my life.”

[cherryao3nova]

He kissed the side of her head and then smiled. “Well, there are quite a few that I know off and probably even more that I’ve never even seen. Which garden would you like to visit? On from Earth, Gallifrey? A alien planet or something entirely new?”

Heck, he was sure if Layla asked, the TARDIS would just give her what she wanted... the old girl probably even had Layla’s old garden from way back, from Egypt, in one of the rooms.

drapetxmaniia‌:

“Good to know.” He nods, rather glad that coffee wasn’t easy to make. He then lifts their joint hands and kissed the back of her hand.

“A distraction, hmm? I think we could come up with something… how about we explore the TARDIS? Wander the gardens… or We could even go and swim in the pool or the hot tub.”

Her gaze softens as he kisses her hand, smiling up at him affectionately as she murmurs, “A walk through the gardens sounds lovely, my dearest hearts. It has been some time since we have sought what all the old girl has for us, no?”

Though occasionally some areas feel almost like tombs, evidence of former companions’ lives lived on the TARDIS standing out in sharp relief to the most frequented areas of the ship. Even if some of those companions have yet to even be found by the Doctor and brought on board…

With a bemused shake of her head, she takes her place on the Doctor’s arm, content to let him guide them through the ship. “Shall we, then?”

[cenobxter]

27

Send me a number and I’ll write a micro story using the word or phrase

27. Hide

Small hands gripped fragile paper, brown eyes scanning thoroughly over the page. What was she looking at? And why did detective D'Amour feel the need to show her this? Casey's eyes narrowed at the moment they came across something quite familiar to her -- a name. But not her name. It looked as if to be some sort of document, one of which was rather old looking in format.

Date: 12th of November, 1918

Captain Elliot James Spencer, Male, born on the 7th of September, 1882.

Patient appears to be displaying intense emotional distress. Shell shock most likely present. Paroxysm of aggression to be expected, take precautions. Force sedation if necessary. Patient is to be monitored over a 17 week period. Further assessment will be taken once concluded.

Signed

- Doctor William R Linfoot, Netley Hospital, Southampton

Some sort of... Legal document? Obviously situated just after the first world War. It was about Elliot. Going over the page over and over, Casey couldn't help but feel an aching remorse for him. Why hadn't he told her this? After a moment to recollect, she had come to terms with maybe why he hadn't told her. But it broke her heart to think of him thinking that he couldn't. The front door opened, leading Casey to jump from the sudden intrusion as she was taken away from her thoughts. It was Elliot, obviously home earlier than expected from another "outing" with Theo and Tiffany. As he closed the door behind him, he still couldn't help but notice the sudden jump as he entered. The documents she held where now down by her side, leaning against the armchair that sat close to the living room window. The man's brows furrowed in confusion, baby-blue eyes trailing up and down as he was rather taken aback by her sudden fright of him.

"...What are those?" Elliot enquired once he had noticed the preculiar paper clutched by her side. Casey was in a silent state of worry, not knowing exactly what to expect upon telling him. She couldn't just lie to him, it was really none of her business to know - but for some reason Harry felt like it was.

"...Ye were admitted?" Casey spoke softly, trying not to remind him all at once. For a moment, the man's eyes narrowed at her, not quite understanding what she was getting at. He glanced at the papers again, pondering what exactly the context was that brought on such a question. Then it hit him. His breakdown, after the war. The time he was taken in to monitored care, for the violent mess he had been. Elliot's look of confusion now turned to anger. "...Where did you get those?" He spoke harshly, unable to keep his frustration at bay from the intrusion of his past life.

"Harry dropped them aff --" Casey began. "Ah didn'ae ask fer them, he just thought that--"

"That what?" Elliot interrupted, taking steps towards the girl stood in front of him. "That I'm a dangerous man? Have I not payed enough for the things I've done? Am I to be trialled for this, as if I'm some sort of threat to you?" The Captain shook his head, swiftly taking the document from Casey's grasp to glance over it.

"No, Elliot - if ah had known wit it was, ah would have told him tae take a run'n jump." She replied, eagerly grabbing at the sleeve of his arm to grasp his attention. "Ah don't care - well ah do, of course ah do. But ah just don't want ye ti feel like ye cann'ae tell me this shit. Ah'm no worried aboot ye hurtin' me, ah'm worried aboot ye hurtin' yerself. Yer no a bad man, Elliot. Ah know yer no." Casey spoke, tenderly holding the side of his arm while his body slowly untensed. "Ye don't need tae hide anythin' fae me."

His expression changed from that of anger and frustration, to guilt and shame. Placing the documents down on the main table next to them, Elliot then turned his attention back towards Casey. She was one of only the few people that actually saw the good in him, and even more so during his time in hell. He didn't blame her, in fact completely misplaced his reaction on someone who he knew he could trust with the very information that was unearthed about him. Moving his arms under her own, he wrapped them around her - burying his head in the slant of her shoulder, as small as she was in comparison to him.

"... I'm sorry. I should have never gotten angry at you. I'm living with you, and Lily - you certainly have a right to know." He admitted, squeezing his friend tighter as he did. It was times like this, that he would prefer to just remain that way - to admit there was more feelings there for her than that of just a "friendship". Before he could say anything else, Casey hugged him even tighter, and after a short moment released him so that she could move back from him. She cupped the sides of his face, eyebrows raised and a sly smile on her face.

"Ye don't need tae worry. Ah'll always see ye as that hardass-boss of a Hell Priest." Casey laughed, moving her hands up to trace the gridded scars across his head. She managed to get a slight chuckle from him, now fully standing to head back from where he came and into the kitchen with a small bag he had placed down upon entering the apartment.

"Well this "Hard-ass-boss" of a Hell Priest brought you back that revolting fatty food shite that you like."

"Yer a fuckin' legend, Elliot!" Casey cheered, jokingly slapping her hands together and rubbing them vigorously as she followed close behind him.

[stelly-fc]

Yes hi! I'm currently in a Doctor Who mood. I haven't watched this show in months... ._. Well, recently I FINALLY caught up on season 10 and 11! (Yep, only now.) I'll miss Peter Capaldi as the Doctor... ;_; I was so hooked when I found out the 12th incarnation will be a darker one. And when I saw him in action, it was like love at first sight. (Hell yeah, I'm down with these angry eyebrows. ) And excuse??? He plays the electric guitar, has sonic sunglasses, and goes through philosophical monologues??? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!! NEW FAVOURITE INCARNATION!!! (I wish Twelve was my philosophy teacher... If I had one now.)I fuckin cried when he died and started regenerating. I think Twelve won against Ten for most heartbreaking regeneration, I'm sorry. ;w; (Spoiler ahead  just skip to the next paragraph) First he dies "without hope, without witness, without reward" and the last place he sees is a BATTLEFIELD. He says goodbye to all his companions in a BATTLEFIELD AND HE MAKES A METAPHORE OUT OF IT HHHHHHHH! OH YEAH, that episode with the first Doctor was also gorgeous! This was an amazing final episode for Twelve! (And he made a final speech that suits him well. <3) And I’m so happy this guy got to fulfill his childhood dream 'cuz he fucking deserves it! He's an amazing actor and I'll keep on supporting him. Thank you Peter for being an amazing Doctor!    Now, hello Jodie Whittaker! As I watched season 11, I saw Thirteen as a big ball of sunshine! She's the sun after the rain. Twelve was the rain and she's the sun. You see where I'm going with this drawing?! Thirteen is basically an answer to Twelve's final speech/tips! And I love it!!! So BOOOM, INSPIRATION!!! So yeah, I think she's doing amazing so far! Beside that, season 11 really feels different with the new team. (I'll miss Steven Moffat as main writter. ;; ) But boi, the soundtrack is amazing! Throughout the episodes, I may have not felt the same feelings/goosbumps as previous episodes, but I look foward to the new season! I still enjoyed them. It was alright. :,3 (and they're starting to grow on me the more I watch them again. And omg SHE MADE HER OWN SONIC SCREWDRIVER WITH SPOONS I'M SO PROUD OF HER! <3). And the new year special gave me high hopes for 2020. Uhg do we have to wait that long... Anyway, about the drawing... I wanted it to have the same energy as this (Fun fact: It's a poster in my room.) WHICH IS WHY I MADE A DESKTOP BACKGROUND VERSION! (As you can see.) Sorry, the size is not that great but it's working for me just fine. :,3 Feel free to use it! I really don't mind!

[thestarsoutofyourwindow]

Blind Christmas Love- 12th Doctor X Reader. Warnings- non, I think. Hope you all have a great Christmas/holiday. Love you all and I hope, no matter what happens, you keep your chin up! TO THE FIC!

“Come back to bed, Honey.” You whisper, lightly patting the area next to you as the Doctor paces the bedroom, his eyebrows in the thoughtful position, wearing sunglasses. “Never in a million years.” He would utter mindlessly, still pacing, his hands occasionally fluttering about, combing through his hair. You sigh, rolling onto your back and kicking the blankets off you, hopping out of bed and approaching the Doctor, whose eyes were wide when you got within a metre of him, although his sunglasses covered them, so you just saw his eyebrows. “What are you thinking about?” You ask, getting close enough to take his hands in yours. They are surprisingly soft. “I was just thinking about...” The Doctor looks at you, “You.” “Do you honestly think I will fall for that? You only pace about important stuff.” “Who said you aren’t important?” He would ask, his expression softening. “Not what I meant, but something is plaguing you.” You let go of one of his hands and cup his cheek, “It helps to talk about it, honestly.” The Doctor’s cheeks begin to turn red and his breathing quickens, his head leaning into your touch and moving his free hand to the small of your back. He pulls you into a hug, evidently trying to hide his face. You move your arm around his shoulders, gently caressing an area of covered skin with your fingers. “I’m sorry.” You hear, coming from the Doctor, muffled by your shirt. “It’s okay to cry, Doctor. It’s okay.” You say, allowing him to cry into your neck.

Whenever the Doctor was like this, it reminds you that he is frail, unlike his other few bodies. They were all somewhat boyish, younger and more fit for running... like that stopped him. Despite that, you still loved this body, you loved it very much, to the extent you aspire to show just how much you admire him still.

You run your fingers through his hair and he pulls away just enough to look up at him. Your hands drift to his cheeks, gently wiping his tears away and pressing his forehead against yours. “Let's go to sleep. Besides, we can go see Bill and Nardole tomorrow.” “You are.” The Doctor whispers to you. “You’re going to come with me, whether you like it or not.” You warn. The Doctor sighs, “I’m coming with you. I just won't be able to see them. I’m blind... again. I know you told me to be careful, but I-it wasn’t my fault!”  You admire him for a moment, sadness washing over you, “Why didn’t you tell me, honey? I wouldn’t have been angry at you.” “Because when I tell you, it becomes real.” The Doctor whispers, ashamed of himself. “Well, I’m glad you told me, you could’ve got hurt because I didn't know, and I couldn’t stand that, you precious thing.” You murmur, leaning forwards to kiss the tip of his ear, then your voice lowers and you gently whisper, “We should get some sleep.” “I’d like that.” 

Like that, you were both in bed, you were close to falling asleep when you hear the bedsheets rustle next to you. It was reminiscent of Eleven’s unsure or anxious bed rustle. You open your eyes to see the grey-eyed Time Lord’s hand hesitating to touch you, a sense of nervousness coming from him. He couldn’t have realised you had noticed him, so he was shifting closer to you nervously. You quietly, as to not scare him, whisper, “You can touch me you know. You can’t see me, so it’d be mean of me not to allow you to touch me: you have to compensate for that lack of sight somehow, darling.” A satisfied smile grew on the Doctor’s face and you moved to kiss his nose. The Doctor slid his hand onto your waist, gently moving his fingers over you. The Doctor was smiling intensely, although he couldn’t see you, he could tell you were smiling at him. You shift your hands so they are cupping his cheeks, gently caressing a cheek with one hand as the other plays with his hair, both of you slowly falling asleep.

Waking up was different. He could locate certain areas by himself, but you weren’t used to helping him get dressed or locate the hallways in the morning- he didn’t want to wear his shades all of the time-, but it’s not like you minded. You understood and encouraged it, in fact. You then carefully slid his shades onto his nose bridge, then leaning into his lips for a kiss.

Maybe, he thought. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

Even though he couldn’t see your face, he could still feel you. He still had your support and undying love. He couldn’t get you off his mind.

Nardole was the only other one who knew about him still being blind and was as understanding as you. Almost. I say almost because he didn’t respect the Doctors’ decision to not tell Bill about his blindness. It was his decision.

As Christmas drew closer, the Doctor wished to see your smile. But he heard your laugh clearer than anything and was more sensitive to your touch; he felt your gentleness.

But when he got his eyesight back, and after he dealt with those creatures, he was so relieved he practically exhaled attentiveness. He had grown used to your quiet entries of rooms, announcing yourself for him, and not having to ask for affection, but he was so used to it, he didn’t know what to do.

“It’s been ages since I’ve baked anything,” Nardole states, and the Doctor looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. You grin at him and his hearts flutter. “Yeah, I bet it’s been a while since you’ve had any healthy amount of sleep.” You smirk, proceeding to work with the Doctor to make cookies. As Nardole rambled on about his life on the run and the time he got engaged to a man -interesting story actually, so maybe you should follow him up on that, as you weren’t paying the slightest bit of attention to him- you were whispering things like, “No, no. Honey, do this,” or “Yeah, you’re doing that right,” In fairness, this does sound pretty dirty out of context but it was surprisingly sweet... like the cookies you were making. Each time you said that he smiled brightly, and you felt obliged to tell him just how adorable that smile is.

“C’mon, let's get these in the oven... did you pre-heat it like I said?” “Well, ‘f course I did.” The Doctor murmurs while sliding on some oven gloves, Nardole still chattering away the Doctor places the unbaked cookies onto the middle shelf; closing the oven door with a slam, quickly discarding the oven-mitts. Approaching the Doctor, you place your arms around his waist and place your forehead against his, “That was fun.” The Doctor placed his hands on your hips gently, tracing his thumbs over your hip bones -something he had discovered while he was blind. “I’m so glad to see you again... did I mention that?” You smile, “No you didn’t. Thank you.” “Merry Chrismas, Y/n.” The Doctors breath brushes your bottom lip, and a chill travels up your spine. “Merry Chrismas, Doctor,” You mutter back, quickly shifting and pecking at his lips. “Were you two listening to any of that?”

[cherryao3nova]

A chuckle if forced out from him unexpectedly and he felt lighter from the amusement he was feeling.

“I guess not, no. He really was quite skinny wasn’t he.”

He pulls back slightly, a grin splitting his face, showing just how ecstatic he was to see her, but the redness of his eyes gave away his guilt and sadness.

“Right then, shall we go and see the ol’ girl then? Do you have any bags with you? Any hat boxes.” He teased.

drapetxmaniia‌:

The Doctor finds himself squeezing her hand back tightly, as if gripping to her, afraid that she will disappear or blow away into the wind.

“Please- I- Yeah- Home, i- i want you to come home.” He chokes out. And then, in a gesture that surprises himself, 

-tho not really because a hug is just a way to hide your face- 

The Doctor pulls Donna into a tight hug, hiding his face in her neck, squeezing his eyes tight. All he could think was, that he got his Best friend back, his Best mate- his sister…. now his sister in more then just words.

There’s not a moment of hesitation in her returned embrace, despite her nervousness about the whole ordeal. So much has changed, and yet as she hugs the Doctor tightly to herself, there’s no denying the enduring love between them, even through everything…

“Blimey. You’re not too skinny for words anymore, Spaceman,” she laughs between barely restrained tears of relief as she squeezes him tighter. “Guess I don’t have to worry about paper cuts just from hugging you now, huh?”