#anghoul [himura ayame]
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crimson deliverance
✬ NSFW ✩ Psycho-Pass AU
Premise: Years of perseverance are finally rewarding them. Not before an unforeseen trial of their making, however.
— ✾ —
When Itori said they would have a new member to the team, no one expected it to be the fugitive ex-inspector last sighted a few years ago. Apparently, the sudden vacation she had taken some time ago was to track her down, managing to find her in Tibet and convincing her to return to the country.
“... Is there anything you have to say to me, Yasushi-san?” were Ayame’s first words to him, once they had been left alone together in the meeting room by their teammates. Before that, she had formally apologized to him for any grievances she caused him in the past years.
There were a lot of things he had to say to her. Most of them being things he already knew the answer to.
What happened to you after the Shambala Float incident?
Have you met with Arima yet?
Are you still going to pretend to be who you’re not anymore?
Instead, all he could manage to say was, “Welcome back, Ayame,” and promptly left after she responded with a nod:
“I’m back.”
The days that followed this were almost as usual, slowly providing him answers to his unspoken questions.
Following the Shambala Float incident, Ayame had continued to wander in the Southeast Asian Union. As mentioned, Itori brought her back from Tibet, after dealing with a mercenary group. Since her return to Japan to the present, she hadn’t paid a visit to Arima, who undoubtedly didn’t know she was back.
As coworkers in the same team, they saw each other at work daily. It was reminiscent of the old days when she was a rookie officer, if excluding that Ayame was more honest with her emotions. There was difficulty interacting with each other—the air between them always seemed to dampen with awkwardness. It was subtle when around others, but when it was only the two of them, anyone could tell that there was clearly something that happened between them that needed a conclusion to.
— ✾ —
“You think they did it?” Itori asked Seishi while they were on break.
“Maybe,” he responded, taking a drink of his canned coffee. “I don’t think they’d be awkward like this though.”
They were watching Ayame and Mamoru doing work together in the office from Itori’s own.
Itori, likewise, drank from her own can. “Hmm. Yeah, it has been, uh... how many years again?”
“Eight,” Seishi reminded her.
“Eight years... They’re definitely a keeper for each other,” she nodded to herself. “If it were me, I would have moved on already.”
“Even if that person was Uta?” he challenged her.
In reply, she briefly shot him a glare before he diverted her attention.
“Hey, he’s leaning in.”
“And then their eyes are going to meet and on noticing how close they are...”
“He pulls away.”
“Awkward silence.” Itori imitated Ayame’s voice. “Thank you for the help.”
Seishi, in turn, did the same, but with Mamoru: “It’s no problem.”
“And finally, the awkward departure.”
The boss relaxed back into her chair as her subordinate sighed, her index finger tapping on the armrest as she was in thought. She looked at the case file on her desk.
There had been reports of immigrant children going missing and as the proactive branch of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, it was their case to solve instead of the Ministry of Welfare’s. Two victims had been recovered, both found dead with various injuries. The suspect was a painter named Sakuragi Haruto, who was name-dropped by an accomplice before going mad and being eliminated. Ominous rumors surrounded Sakuragi, a particular one being that his inspiration for each of his paintings came from models in unethical conditions made by him.
The main objective at hand currently, was to find out where Sakuragi’s studio was. The address listed on his website was but a location used for meetings rather than creating his art pieces. Normally, such a thing would have already been acquired through methods of tracking, but their target was suspiciously evasive. Therefore, a different approach would be taken: the date of a banquet held between the wealthy was drawing close and Sakuragi was on the guest list.
Itori planned to send in two of her subordinates to undercover there and make contact with him. Apparently, Sakuragi had quite the connections when it came to the rich, which was odd in that these connections didn’t seem to be used for gaining influence. When they interviewed one of these connections, they mentioned that Sakuragi provided them a place to “unwind,” but where that was, they would not say. Finding out what this place was, was the goal of the mission.
Itori’s lips curled into a sly smile. “Maybe I should give them some time outside of the office together.”
— ✾ —
Silence filled the car as Mamoru drove to the hotel they were staying at for the night for their mission. Ayame was looking through their intel on a tablet at his side. As he watched the road, he thought of how their assignment happened.
“Me and... Ayame?” Mamoru looked at Itori, perplexed.
Ayame appeared as usual in comparison.
“Is there a problem with that, Mamoru-kun?” their boss questioned. “I thought it would be best for you to be Ayame-chan’s partner for this mission since I heard you were one of her closest relationships back in her MWPSB days.”
“No... there isn’t,” he refuted with uncertainty.
Itori hummed curiously at him before looking at Ayame. “What about you, Ayame-chan?”
“I have no qualms,” she answered flatly.
“Then all is well,” the redhead smiled with content.
Being reminded of that smile was bothering him. Clearly, something was up and he already knew what.
“Can you truly do this?” Ayame’s voice snapped Mamoru out of his thoughts.
“Of course; why do you ask?” he returned a question.
She turned the tablet off. “... There are some...” her hands rested in her lap together, “... unresolved matters between us that could hinder your performance, after all.”
He was nearly caught off-guard by this. It would be apparent they had the same idea of clearing up said matters with this chance of being alone with one another.
“Then should we resolve those before the party?” he asked.
She oddly paused before answering, turning her gaze to the passenger window. “... Maybe another time.”
Mamoru wondered what she paused for when two things hit him. The first was that his choice of words could imply continuing where they had been interrupted that night, which he internally face-palmed himself for. The second was that Ayame was embarrassed in some amount. He wished he could have caught the slightest glimpse of that.
“In conversation, I mean,” he clarified quickly in a fluster.
“If we have the time,” Ayame responded. “If not, then after the party. I’ll trust that you’ll do well in that case.”
“Agreed,” he stated.
Conversation promptly disappeared with that as she let him focus on driving.
Though they hoped their time for resolution would be before the party, it ended up having to be after as they busied themselves with their prep work.
— ✾ —
Ayame came out of the bathroom earlier than he thought she would. “Yasushi-san?” she called. “Can I ask you to help with my zipper?”
He looked up from the tablet, seeing her in a black dress that left everything above her chest and biceps exposed. Her hand was over her chest to keep the top from protruding outward. Mamoru stared at her for a moment before giving a response, realizing he was holding his breath. “Sure.”
She turned around as he walked over to her. He took the zipper of her dress and slowly drew it upwards. This was dangerous, he thought; standing close to her with her skin exposed was causing him to have unwanted thoughts.
When he was done, she turned back to him. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he replied.
They stared at each other for a moment in the almost-suffocating close proximity they were in, as though waiting for the other to say something.
“... You look great,” Mamoru nearly coughed that out.
Ayame nodded. “Itori-san chose it for me.”
He would keep that in mind as more evidence to point toward their boss’ personal motive in this mission.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes; and you?” she returned the question, slipping on one of the ring bands they were provided for their mission on her left ring finger.
He already had his on after a moment of thought while she was getting ready in the washroom. “Yeah,” he answered.
They headed out of their room together for the banquet hall. When arriving at the entrance, they positioned themselves as the other couples did; the lady’s hand around the gentleman’s held-out arm.
For the first few conversations, they were together, making mention of their target Sakuragi Haruto here and there to gather more information. The way that Ayame acted was starkly different from her real persona, reminding Mamoru of their days together as inspector and enforcer. Seeing this difference side-by-side only showed him how much work she had put into attempting to be “normal.”
Eventually, they split up, keeping in contact with each other through their earpieces. Not much side-progress was being made with collecting more information and a chance of approaching Sakuragi, who they had spotted while they were together, didn’t seem to be anytime soon. That is, until...
“Excuse me, Miss?” Mamoru heard their target’s voice in his earpiece as he walked around the hall.
... he approached one of them himself.
“Yes?” Ayame replied.
Mamoru scanned the crowds for her figure.
“I’m Sakuragi Haruto, a painter. I wanted to ask if you were interested in modeling for me.”
“I’m honored, but why me?”
“You’ve caught my interest, is all.”
The pace he walked quickened.
She made a small laugh. “My husband might not be pleased to hear that.”
“I can promise it won’t be anything for him to be worried about; I only paint the true desire of an individual.”
“’True desire...’ Are you implying you learned what my ‘true desire’ is with one look?”
“No, but I have intuition that yours will be worth painting.”
Finally, he spotted Ayame, swiftly entering their conversation at her side. His arm was around her, resting on her bare shoulder.
Making a convincing, but forced, friendly smile, he asked Sakuragi, “Do you have business with my wife?” There was something subtle that could be described as threatening in his smile, which he didn’t seem to notice himself.
“Speak of the devil.” Their target was either unfazed by this or didn’t notice as he held a polite smile on his face. “What a lucky man to have such a lovely wife.”
Ayame made a small bow. “Yes; thank you.” She turned to Mamoru. “Sakuragi-san and I were just discussing his work.”
“Is that so?” he replied.
“He asked me if I could model for him. Would you mind that, dear?” she questioned.
“I would very much,” is what he would have said without any restraints, but instead his words were, “As long as it’s a private work and we’re given a copy of the finished product.”
“I suppose you were right, Sakuragi-san,” she turned her smile back to said person.
“I’m pleased,” Sakuragi expressed. He reached into his inner pocket and handed Ayame his business card. “You can set up an appointment with me at any time...?”
“Washuu Sayuri,” she answered.
The painter looked at Mamoru next, prompting him to follow with, “Washuu Aru.”
“Sayuri-san. Aru-san. It was nice meeting the two of you.” Sakuragi bowed politely. “If you’ll excuse me.”
Once he had disappeared within the crowd, Mamoru almost awkwardly removed his hand from her shoulder. “Sorry.”
She shook her head, her demeanor returning to its usual as though swiftly switching masks. “It’s fine.”
They headed for a quiet spot to discuss their next moves. As he thought about the current state of things, his actions while undercover poked at him while they walked. On the other hand, Ayame was examining Sakuragi’s business card before looking in front of her.
“This isn’t the way I’d think this was going to go down,” he remarked quietly so bystanders wouldn’t hear.
“It’s a dangerous method, but there’s no other choice,” she replied. “It was the least we could accomplish.”
“I don’t like the idea of putting you in danger, but that unfortunately doesn’t change that you’re right,” he begrudgingly said. “We should stay here for a little longer before leaving.”
She nodded in agreement.
The two remained where they were in silence, appearing more as two bystanders now rather than a couple. If they could, they would have left the hall as soon as they finished their mission. The chatter of the people they masked themselves as were unintelligible from their spot, but they had no need to hear any of it anymore.
— ✾ —
After their leave from the banquet, they returned to their hotel room. They were to report back the morning after, the lenient Itori having told them to enjoy the luxury of pretending to be wealthy before they departed for their mission as a bonus. Both discussed who was sleeping where before one was off to wash up first, which ended with one round of rock-paper-scissors. Ayame had won, therefore, she was taking the bed and Mamoru, the sofa.
Mamoru walked out of the bathroom, dressed for bed and fresh out of the shower. The first thing he looked to was Ayame, who was sitting on the end of the bed with the laptop he had used earlier to type up their mission report while it was her turn in the shower. She seemed to be reading the report, checking if he had omitted any details.
He sat down next to her, leaving a gap of space between them. She briefly looked up at him, closing the laptop and setting it on the dresser across from them before returning to her spot.
“Where shall we start?” Ayame opened the conversation.
Mamoru decided to begin from the last time he saw her prior to her addition to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. “What happened to you after Shambala Float? Arima said you got away after you two took care of the leader of those mercenaries.”
“I went back to the guerrilla base.”
“I suppose you left there at some point and traveled around, since Itori found you in Tibet rather than Cambodia.”
She nodded.
“Have you met Arima at all since you came back?”
“Not yet.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have anything to say to him and... I don’t know if he wants to see me. He didn’t say anything to me after we fought together in Shambala.”
They shared a small silence at that before Mamoru spoke up.
“Well... I’m not Arima, but if Seishi was on the run for almost ten years and came back, I’d hope he’d come to see me no matter how mad I might be at what he did,” he said. “... It’s better to see him than not at all.”
Ayame nodded again, understanding what he meant. “I’ll think it through again sometime.”
Another silence approached them, this time lasting longer than the first. This was undoubtedly because only the source of their awkwardness outside of work was what remained to be spoken of. It was one of those events where they thought it’d be the last time they’d see each other, but their unexpected reunion a few months ago as fellow agents of Itori’s team would say otherwise, turning what was an interrupted tender moment into something to be flustered about.
Ayame was the one to initiate it in the end.
“That night in Shambala... if the base hadn’t been attacked...” she trailed off.
“I would have kissed you,” Mamoru finished her sentence rather blatantly, although with a trace of a blush. “Would you have let me?”
He already knew the answer to his question—or more, he thought it was most likely. While his confidence in this was firm, there was still that small part of him that hoped he was right.
She was quiet, and almost painstakingly so before responding.
“After I killed Nimura and fled the country,” she began, “I thought I would be fine in never seeing anyone again. Everyone appeared in my thoughts as I traveled at least once. Eto-san, Tenshi-san, Kirishima-san, Hirako-san... I thought the ones who I would most think of was Kishou-oniisan and my parents, but... it was you.” For second, her tone sounded childishly annoyed in the slightest. “You were persistent. There almost wasn’t a day I thought of you. My chest sometimes hurt even though I wasn’t injured as well.
“I didn’t understand why for a long time.” Her eyes softened in sorrow. “... I didn’t want to. It would have broken the lie I began living in when I left.”
“And you’ve left that lie behind,” Mamoru said.
Ayame nodded. “That’s why I can say this without restraint.”
She paused for a moment before giving him her words.
“... I like you, Yasushi-san.”
Mamoru was stunned at her confession, perhaps even more so at the sight of the shyness visible on her face.
“... I like you too,” he responded to her.
“And... I missed you,” she added.
His voice softened. “I missed you too.”
They stared at each other for a moment. They didn’t know who was first, but they both leaned into each other, their fingers that were only inches away making contact as they pressed into the bed.
He pulled away after long enough, staring into her similar crimson eyes again when she opened them. They exchanged another moment of silent gazes before eight years worth of restraint by interruptions, hindrances, and themselves accumulated into another kiss that was deeper than the first. Their breaths mingled with one another, growing shorter the longer their tongues intertwined.
Pulling away, they panted as they caught their breaths.
“Are we...?” Ayame asked.
“If you want to,” Mamoru answered. Though, he honestly wasn’t sure how much self-control he would have if she postponed this for another time. Not that he even knows how much he has right now.
She was quiet for a moment, averting her eyes from him. The room was dimly lit, but he could sense that she was flustered. “... I don’t mind, but... I don’t know how to do this.”
“I think I have a decent grasp of it, but... we’ll both figure things out along the way,” he admitted with embarrassed honesty.
“I’m your first?” she inquired, meeting his eyes again.
He gave her a shy response. “... Yeah. Surprised?”
“A little,” Ayame said. The corners of her lips seemed to curl subtly at this new intel.
As though in retaliation for her unintended teasing, he took her by surprise by pushing her down on the bed without too much force and hovered over her.
Mamoru stared into her crimson eyes. “I... don’t know if I can make any promises tonight.”
She nodded and reached for his cheeks with both hands, her fingers brushing his skin. “I’ll be fine.”
“Don’t regret this later,” he told her, his voice lowering into a murmur as he drew down to her.
Her fingers slid into his damp white hair and she gave a small smile of assurance before their lips met and parted for a third kiss.
It was less clumsier than the previous, but the sensuality from it that stoked the heated emotions in them that had been dormant until now was all the same. Before they could be sent into a state of breathlessness again, Mamoru broke away from Ayame, planting kisses from her jawline to the curvature of her neck. Her breaths were slightly strained from both their kiss and the sensation of his lips brushing her skin.
The stimulation must be foreign to her, he thought, which prompted him to wonder what was going on in her own mind in the moment.
While his mouth nipped and sucked at her neck, his hand ran up her curled leg and positioned at the spot between both. He didn’t take his time—slipping under her undergarment to directly feel her warm slickness.
Thinking about how they were interrupted back then gave him a sense of rush that he did his best to restrain.
Her legs twitched inward at his touch, her breath hitching. He stopped marking her skin temporarily to study her red face for reactions while catching his breath as he experimented where to touch her best before going any further.
“W-What is it?” Ayame questioned, her embarrassment increasing at the notice of his observation.
His self-restraint possibly loosened just then. “It’s nothing.”
This was the most expressive he had ever seen of her, and knowing he was the first to do so brought him a sense of pride.
“Please don’t look—” She was momentarily interrupted with suppressing a voice as he touched a spot. He found it. “—at me.”
“But you’re too cute,” he mumbled, mostly to himself, as he returned to marking his territory on her, continuing where he left off, but retracing his path to behind her ear.
Before she could give a reply, his finger made their entrance in her and another one followed soon enough. They were in and out at a soft pace, particularly teasing a spot from within that would certainly test her limit here and there after finding it in another search. Her hands clenched his shoulders as she seemed to be having an increasingly difficult time keeping hold of her noises. He slowed his motions eventually, allowing her breathing to steady.
Mamoru removed his soaked fingers from her. He stripped her of her pants and underwear. When he began unbuttoning her top, she stopped him, rising up.
“I can do the rest,” Ayame told him, cheeks still tinted. “You… probably don’t know how to undo this part.” Her fingers pointed to her bra.
“Y-Yeah,” he stuttered. “You should.”
While she did so, he took off his own clothing, feeling less heated without them. He briefly left the bed to grab the small packages that were in a pocket of the bag carrying their equipment for the mission, begrudgingly thanking his boss in his mind. Thankfully, he was the one who did the check with their equipment while preparing for their mission earlier.
Returning to her, he found himself in mesmerization at her timid beauty in the dim lighting that only accentuated her figure.
“… You’re looking,” she called him out.
He gave her an amused, small smirk taking her lips once more. “How can I not?”
He guided her back down on the bed, deciding to move on to the next step when he drew away.
“Are you ready?” he asked for consent after his preparation.
Ayame nodded.
After her confirmation, he pressed his member against her folds, lubricating himself with her fluids slowly out of anxiousness. When he entered her, he found himself almost holding his breath, feeling her contract around him as he reached further and further until there was no more depth to cover.
“Sorry; does it hurt?” Mamoru worriedly asked upon noticing how hard she was clenching the bedsheet and the slight scrunch of her face. He caressed her cheek in comfort, moving strands of her hair away from her face.
“A bit,” she managed to say in an almost-strangled voice.
“We can stop if you want.” Even if he wanted to settle this now, it was more important to him that she was comfortable.
Ayame shook her head. “No... I’ll be fine... I... want this, so...”
His eyes briefly widened in surprise at her bold statement before he ducked his burning face into the crook of her neck. “... Really, you...” Once he regained what little composure he had, he told her, “Tell me when you’re good for me to move,” before sealing her lips with his own.
After creating more blemishes on her skin where he hadn’t, he drew down to her breasts, taking one nub into his mouth and easing her tenseness. He could tell her pain was progressively subsiding as he felt her relax around him.
“Y-You can move now...” Ayame gave her approval soon enough.
Mamoru gave a hum of confirmation.
Though he started off slow for her, even having been stagnant for those few minutes earlier with her tensing had worked him up well enough that he was already feeling on edge with his release. Meanwhile, she was at her ends with the constraint of her voice, actively restraining it by pressing her knuckles against her lips. The current pace was only prolonging him torturously and eventually, he lost his grip on himself. Along with the little self-restraint he had left.
He quietly cursed, removing himself from her to change condoms.
“Ayame,” Mamoru called for her when he was done.
She looked up at him, still catching her breath. “?—”
In that moment, he re-entered her without warning. Her voice came out as he pinned the wrist of the hand she was going to clamp over her mouth to the bed at the same time.
“Sorry,” he apologized, half-heartedly. “I wanted to hear you just once.” And naturally, he wanted to hear more now as he kept hold of her wrist.
“Liar…” she took notice of his lie as he began moving for the second cour after also restraining her other hand.
Like before, Mamoru started off slow, but he was less inclined to keep that pace for any longer than a few minutes before gradually picking it up. The sound of Ayame’s voice mixed with her panting fueled him, as did her eagerness to welcome his progressively deep thrusts.
The closer she seemed to draw to her limit, the more her legs closed on him and shortly, she made a choked cry. She tensed up for a few moments, her lower half twitching a few times before relaxing. Her chest rose and fell as she attempted to catch her breath. Though he hadn’t had his own release, he removed himself from her.
“… Sorry...” she managed to say in her panting.
“Eh?” Mamoru blurted out in response.
Ayame covered her burning face with a hand. “I couldn’t… hold back…”
His surprise relaxed into a reassuring smile, having thought she was apologizing for something else. “It’s fine.”
“Are you stopping?” she asked.
“If you want me to,” he answered.
“I don’t mind…” she followed.
“Then…” Mamoru’s face lowered between her legs.
“What are you…?”
“I’m just a little curious is all.”
His lips brushed against her thigh, adding more traces of him to her skin. He hadn’t been counting how much he was leaving behind nor was he thinking about the potential repercussions in the morning—the only thing his thoughts were filled with, was that Ayame had returned to his daily life and that he wouldn’t let her leave again.
Her legs closed on his head as his tongue found her folds. She clamped a hand over her mouth, her expression contorted as she restrained her voice. Though he preferred to hear her in full, her muffled sounds that leaked out at times were still pleasing to his ears.
When she came undone with her back arching, he didn’t stop in his musings, drinking everything she released and teasing out more of it from her until she was breathing in slowly and heavily again.
There was no talking this time as Mamoru took Ayame’s lips with need, the bud of his arousal pressed against her entrance. She made a gasp into his mouth as he pushed into her, her nails dragging across the back of his shoulders. He hooked his arms under her legs to keep them spread, mercilessly starting right off the bat in a rough and fast pace that wouldn’t allow her to think.
“Yasu… shi… san…” she panted.
“That’s wrong… isn’t it?” he asked in-between his own breaths.
It took her a moment to correct herself, as though she was still in unnecessary gripe. “Ma… Mamoru…”
“Until you’re used to it… keep saying it…”
He leaned into where her neck curved, hearing his name in her voice directly in his ear in repeat. His thrusts grew deeper as she spoke, crashing into her deepest regions. And until their knots unravelled, he didn’t stop.
— ✾ —
After their intimate time together, they had taken another shower, albeit together shyly. It was only in the bright light of the bathroom did Mamoru see just how much he marked and bit her. Ayame didn’t seem to notice how odd it was that most of it was above her chest and biceps, which he was thankful for. In comparison, he only had several red lines across his shoulder blades. Both apologized for their thoughtless actions.
The morning after and the ride back to the office was without a hitch. At least, until they had to report to Itori and Mamoru was left alone with their boss.
“Did you like it?” innocently smiled Itori, fiddling with a pen.
“Like what?” Mamoru questioned, knowing exactly what she was referring to.
“You know what,” she continued to smile.
“That has nothing to do with the mission.” He rose from his seat and started toward the door. “If that’s all you wanted me for, then I’m leaving.”
“You also used them all.”
His hand froze on the doorknob and he felt blood rush to his face at that.
Seeing he wasn’t going to amuse her more, she pouted. “Boo; you’re not enough fun. Well, tell Ayame-chan I said congratulations.”
Mamoru still didn’t utter a word, exiting Itori’s office as casually as he could.
He let out an exasperated sigh, heading for the balcony for a smoke break. There, he found Ayame. The sight of her overlooking the city was incredibly nostalgic. He remembered how after she became a fugitive, a small part of him would hopelessly think she would still be there on the MWPSB balcony whenever he came up there before he was scouted out for his current position.
Ayame turned to him at the sound of the door closing.
“Are you done with your report to Itori-san?” she asked.
“Yeah; it wasn’t anything important,” he answered.
“I see,” she said.
“What are you doing here?”
“I had something to ask you and thought you’d be here.”
“What is it, Ayame?”
“Why didn’t you forget about me? I’m asking out of curiosity.”
He paused as he was taking out a cigarette from its box, putting it back in and the box in his pocket. “It’s not easy to forget a coworker you work closely with. Especially one who treated you kindly, even if it might have been an act at first. I’ll be honest that I thought about it once or twice. It bothered me too much that someone who was supposedly emotionless as you let me live despite getting in your way during the confrontation with Nimura at the factory though.”
“You would have been better off if you did.” She turned her back on him to look at the ground far below them and the far away people and objects.
Ignoring his hesitance and valuing its proof, Mamoru embraced her from behind.
“No,” he quietly denied. “You came back after all, so it was worth it. Even if it took more years, as long as you did, I’d still think the same.”
He felt her cling onto his sleeve.
“I see,” Ayame said. “Thank you, Mamoru.”
He hummed in confirmation. “Let’s make up for all those years we lost.”
She faced him, tears of happiness in her eyes. “Yes.”
Mamoru kissed the corner of Ayame’s eyes before her lips, the soft gesture as though a vow made to his proposal.
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“where are you going?”
Premise: “Instead of 'Where are you going?' do you mean, 'Please don't go?'"
Sources: Scenario from Horimiya - Episode 4
— ✾ —
Mamoru arrived at the bar, entering to the sight of merry peacekeepers drinking their night away. His eyes searched for who he was here for, finding her asleep on the counter next to her distant relative Yusa, who noticed him and gave a wave.
“Did something happen between you two?” Yusa asked him when he walked over.
“It’s nothing major,” Mamoru answered. He gently shook Ayame. “Hey, Ayame; let’s get you home.”
Yet, she remained unconscious from her drinks.
Deciding to not disturb her after all, he looked back to the peacekeeper. “Mind giving a hand?”
Yusa nodded and arose his seat to help put his relative on her boyfriend’s back. “Take care then,” he bid them farewell when the couple were set to go.
“Thanks,” Mamoru replied before departing.
As he walked to her house with her in tow, he reminisced the morning. They had spent the previous night together at his place. When morning came, he awoke to the rare sight that was a displeased expression on her face.
“Mamoru,” Ayame’s voice echoed in his head. “You overdid it.”
And he did. He didn’t need to see the rest of the marks he left on her to make certain of that. The teethmarks and hickeys on her neck was all that he needed to see.
He attempted to ask for her forgiveness, but after those first words to him, she only responded in looks and silence as she left to prepare for work.
Feeling her head shift from his back, he returned to the present.
“Are you awake?” Mamoru greeted her.
“... Who are you?” Ayame asked, in a childlike tone.
When intoxicated by alcohol, she would fall asleep, almost like it was a defense mechanism to keep others from seeing how she’d act when drunk: normally, but with an almost childlike innocence to her that caused her to be more emotive. The first time he encountered this side of hers, he was surprised, but of course found it to be cute. Thankfully, she was one of the easy ones to look after.
“Someone,” he answered vaguely.
“Where are you taking me?” she asked next.
“Home,” he said.
“I don’t want to,” she refused.
It was his turn to ask the questions. “Why is that?”
“I’m still angry at him,” she replied.
“Who?” was his second question.
“My boyfriend,” she answered.
“Is that why you got drunk?” Third.
She nodded.
“What did he do?” Fourth.
“That’s a secret.” Even while drunk, she was still well-guarded.
Mamoru contemplated pressing the question, deciding to do it. “Does... it have to do with all those marks on you?”
“You can see it? How?” she questioned, surprise in her voice.
“That’s a secret,” he repeated after her.
“I want know..." But being in the almost-childlike state she was in now, it was easy to work around her guard. "Then, if I tell you a secret too, will you tell me?”
“I’ll think about it,” he pretended to.
“You can’t tell my boyfriend though; promise?” she asked.
“Promise,” her boyfriend vowed.
“Okay,” she said, content. “The truth is, I could make these marks disappear in an instant if I wanted. But I don’t do that because I want to keep the traces of him with me.”
He nearly stopped walking.
“Even though I got angry at him this morning for leaving so much, I was a little happy too. Because, doesn’t it mean he likes me that much?” Ayame questioned.
“Y-Yeah,” Mamoru stuttered, ears colored.
“I told you a secret, so tell me now,” she goaded him.
They arrived at her house at that point in time. He was quiet for a moment as he chose the “secret” he was going to tell her.
“... My secret is... I’m your boyfriend,” he revealed to her.
She was quiet as he unlocked her door with the key, likely determining the truth of his words. He could tell he was right when she blurted out, “Ah, it’s really Mamoru.”
“Yeah, it’s me,” he gave her further confirmation.
“I’ve been found out...” he heard her mumble, sounding flustered.
Inside the house, Mamoru set her down to remove her shoes for her before picking her up again and delivering her to her bedroom. Ayame had gone quiet since he told her his “secret,” but despite still being angry with him, she accepted the drink of water he offered her and allowed him to tuck her in to bed without a word.
Once she seemed to have gone to sleep, he sighed with relief and stood up to return to his own house, but before he could do so, suddenly, he felt his sleeve being held back.
"Where are you going?" Mamoru heard her ask as she clung onto him.
He looked back at her, seeing her eyes were open again.
"... I'm going home," he told her, somewhat hesitantly.
Ayame rose from her bed and spoke in a rare raised voice before he could. "Where are you going?!" she asked again.
A moment of silence passed between them, Ayame waiting for his answer and Mamoru unsure of what to make of her sudden change in demeanor.
"You should lay down," he said gently.
"Where... are you going?" she repeated, her eyes hidden by her downcast gaze. "Can't you... stay home for today?"
He overlapped her hand that tightly gripped his sleeve with his free hand. "Ayame, instead of 'Where are you going?' do you mean, 'Please don't go?'"
She didn't respond, being silent as tears fell onto her blanket from her eyes.
"... I'm not going anywhere," he finally answered her. "Until you say you don't need me here anymore, I'm going to stay."
She looked up at him, prompting him to wipe her tears away. "Really...?"
He nodded. Laying her back down, he covered her eyes and softly kissed her through his hand. "So rest assured and get some sleep."
When he removed his hand, Ayame watched him before drifting to sleep soon after, comforted by the warmth of his answer and their connected hands.
Mamoru returned her gaze, following after her in time as he wondered what morning would bring when it came, hoping it was her forgiveness.
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a brief reunion: side a
✩ Psycho-Pass AU
Premise: An answer to a question he has pondered on since her leave.
— ✾ —
Mamoru stared at the dim ceiling of the small room. He listened to the chirping crickets, feeling as though they were almost taunting him with the situation he was thrown in.
"There's no where else for you to sleep in here and the temple is full, so we don't have a choice but to share the bed."
... Is what she said when he asked her where he was sleeping. Her tone was without emotion and factual when saying that. Rather, that's how she would speak from then on after her true nature as criminally asymptomatic was revealed.
He looked at her small frame from the corner of his eye. Ayame laid on her side facing opposite of him, practically hugging the wall the bed was next to. She didn't move, but he knew she was awake.
"You're not going to ask about everyone back home?" he asked.
"If anything had happened to anyone, you would have already told me," she answered.
"Not about me either?"
"You're right here, are you not?"
He tried to not feel anything toward her empty words, but he did, causing him to fall silent. Was she playing with his feelings? The question he had been asking himself for the last three years occurred to him then.
Was Himura Ayame truly empty?
He briefly reminisced the memories of when she was on the force as usual when he dwelled on that question. The answer always began as an approval, then a rejection tinged with doubt. However, this time, with her in front him now, he could reject it confidently.
Mamoru shuffled closer to her, nestling his face in her neck through her hair, which had grown longer since then.
"Am I?" he softly responded.
She was silent for the slightest moment, which was everything he needed.
"... You are," she said without any change in her tone.
He wrapped his arm around her, finding her hand that tightly clenched the bedsheet.
Himura Ayame was not empty.
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a brief reunion: side b
✩ Psycho-Pass AU
Premise: If only she was her old self, then she wouldn't have to know the meaning of her heartache.
— ✾ —
Ayame stared at the wall, thinking about her reunion with Mamoru that was just hours ago. She had hoped her past would not give chase to her since leaving the country. Or perhaps she did hope for it, deep down—she wasn't sure. No, she was sure, but she denied it. Like she has for the last three years toward anything she left behind there.
"You're not going to ask about everyone back home?" he broke the silence, bringing her out of her thoughts.
"If anything had happened to anyone, you would have already told me," she replied flatly.
This was who she was supposed to be. A person who lived her life without feeling. One who can't be judged by the Sibyl System.
"Not about me either?" he continued.
"You're right here, are you not?" she questioned.
And yet, her delivery of that response in her unfeeling tone and his subsequent silence made her feel something she disliked—fear. Fear that she would be abandoned by someone she had unconsciously marked as precious. She clenched the bedsheet to keep herself composed.
She wished she could truly be her old self again. Then she wouldn't have to deal with being in conflict with the emotions that had slowly developed in her over the course of her life.
Ayame heard him shift in bed, feeling him just behind her and his breath at her neck.
"Am I?" he asked her, softly.
Her chest began to ache at this as it always did when he appeared in her thoughts, another thing she disliked, and she clenched the sheets tighter.
"... You are," she managed to answer without a trace of feeling.
Her heart wouldn't let go of him no matter how hard she tried.
His hand found hers that held the sheets, as though he had caught the lie she had spun to keep them apart.
Another dream of him would have been better, she thought, her eyes beginning to water. Then her heart wouldn't have to ache so much more than it had times before.
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on those rare mornings
Premise: Where she is allowed the time to admire him in the early rays of the sun.
— ✾ —
The morning is quiet, rays of the sun shining through the slits the window curtains fail to shield and making dust visible to the eye. The shadowed bedroom is lit enough to see through this, two figures in bed nestled closely. One sleeps still while the other lays awake with open crimson eyes, observing her lover’s sleeping face.
She gently brushes the strands of his white hair in his face away as she thinks about his different expressions, the ring on her finger glowing in the sunlight. The way the corners of his lips curl when smiling, the shade of red his cheeks become when shy, how his brows furrow when worried, and other little things she keeps note of. With that, she reminisces the moments that lead up to the present, both the bitter and the sweet.
The days where they shared an umbrella without space between them in the rain.
The days where they ventured into the decorated city hand-in-hand in the snow.
The days where they conversed over coffee in the fair weather.
That day.
That night.
She smiles softly with light color on her face.
Those have already been done enough times, yet thinking about them still brings her a shy warmth to her.
“本当に愛している (Hontouni aishiteiru; I truly love you),” she tells him in a soft whisper as he sleeps.
She wishes she could stay in bed longer to fall back asleep next to him, but this morning unfortunately belonged to a weekday. Leaving a kiss on his head, she slips away from him to prepare for work in a good mood after spending just a little longer in her observation of his sleeping face. At the door, she glances back at him just once, smiling happily at him, before resuming her morning routine.
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