#andy definitely deserves to get his ass beat but not by cops

[unidentifiedprimate]

Andy gets police brutalized and then shot in Cyberstalker (1995)

[qqueenofhades]

(1/2) Honestly, Hilary, you are a blessing. I want to scream about your amazing Fic, how I love Immortal Husbands and the whole Immortal Family and how I had more fun learning history from your writing than in my whole damn school. But I also want to appreciate your TOG answers and meta. All the more because my friends outside the internet saw TOG as some boring movie with shitty plot and I'm just here in the corner, wanting to scream at someone who will understand about FINALLY seeing...

"(2/2) ...some GOOD queer representation, without throwing stereotypes in our faces, and I can't even begin with the found family trope because THE FEELS. Anyway, what I was trying to say with this rambling: thank you. <3"

....I’m sorry what. Who. Who is saying this. Straight people? I feel like the answer is definitely straight people. Because they have had EIGHTY FUCKING THOUSAND shitty action movies with the Boring White Man Hero, the disposable Muslim-coded (or actually Muslim) villains, the equally disposable eye-candy female love interest who either gets fridged or is secretly evil, Grimdark Everyone Is Secretly Bad And Nothing Matters crap philosophy, Moral Hand Wringing Over Superhero Violence, on and on. So of course they can moan and whine about “iT’s nOt OrIGinAL” and apparently not sufficiently Grimdark and Amoral, and how the dynamics of the team are completely reshuffled in a way that actually doesn’t prioritize THEM, and like.... this is why I never trust media only beloved by straight people, and only ever watch anything after it’s been recommended to me by a trusted queer friend. Because sometimes I remember the difference, and WHOOF.

Because: the gays and people of color DESERVE formulaic action/superhero movies as much as the Generic White Bro (in fact, we can all agree, far more than the Generic White Bro). This is the trap where every piece of media that’s not made by a Mediocre White Man has to be the best all-time of its genre, apparently, rather than using some of the same well-loved storytelling tropes but recoding them and re-deploying them for a more diverse audience. Instead of the Hard Bitten White Man Action Hero, we have Andy and Nile (two women, and Nile as a young Black woman who literally cannot be shot to death, in the year 2020, is fucking revolutionary on its own don’t @ me). As I said in my first meta, even Booker, who comes closest to fulfilling that trope, is made the closest thing to a “villain” there is on the team and even then for entirely sympathetic motives that rest on him having teary-eyed conversations with Nile about how he misses his family and feels like he failed them. His emotions help drive the story in an actually GOOD and useful way, rather than sacrificing everyone else to coddle him through his feeble heterosexual manchildness (why yes, I AM staring directly at the Abomination without blinking). Nobody in the story is EVER penalized or made a fool of for loving their found family (itself an intensely queer trope, even before the queerness of the individual characters) or trying to do the right thing even in the middle of the horrors, and frankly, I just want to consume more media with that as the main message. I’M SO FREAKING TIRED OF GRIMDARK. GOD. IF I WANTED THAT I COULD JUST TURN ON THE NEWS.

And of course, my BELOVED Joe and Nicky: an interracial, interreligious gay couple that has been wildly in love for literal CENTURIES and gives me the opportunity to do things like write the most self-indulgent historical romance backstory fic ever with DVLA. They met in the embodiment of religious conflict and have transcended that, there are never any cruel jokes or expectation for you to congratulate the narrative for being so beneficent as to give you “an exclusively gay moment” (fuck you Disney!). Joe and Nicky’s love story is central both to who they are as characters, doesn’t revolve around them being suffering or being Tormented over being gay (when the cops pull them apart for kissing, they beat the cops the fuck up, WE STAN), gets to unfold naturally in the background of the story with these beautiful little beats of casual intimacy (the SPOONING /clutches heart) and since THEY LITERALLY CANNOT DIE, no chance of the “burying your gays” bullshit. Even when they’re captured first by the bad guys, and I briefly, upon first viewing, worried that they were going the Gay Pain route just for cheap emotional points, they remain constantly united and fighting together and able to do stupid things like flirt when they’re strapped to gurneys by a mad scientist. Then the rest of the team ends up right there with them, so it’s not something that happens to them alone, and Nile comes in to save everyone’s asses, and Joe and Nicky get ANOTHER beautiful moment of fighting the bad guys and being worried about each other and tender even in the middle of this chaos and GOD! MY HEART! MY WHOLE ASS HEART! I LOVE THEM!

And just the fact that it’s not the Evul Mooslim Turrorists or Boilerplate Scary Eastern Europeans or whoever else who are the bad guys, but Big Pharma, nasty white men with too much money and not enough ethics, the CIA (at least tangentially; they could have pushed a lot harder on that but I’ll give Copley individually a pass), and the very forces that want to stop the Old Guard and discount what they do (helping the little people) as worthless... GOD. That is fucking POWERFUL. They literally take the time to explain with Copley’s Conspiracy Wall that even the little things the team does, when they can’t see it themselves, spiral out through centuries and have positive effects down the line. And it’s NOT just in the Western world (no scene in the movie takes place in America, none of the main four characters/heroes are American, and they only go to England when the English villains capture them). They’re in Africa, in Asia, in South America, in all these places where the Western/imperial world order has harmed people the most and in a way that Euro/American audience often gets to forget. On the surface this might be an action movie with Charlize Theron beating up men (which I mean, that alone is fine if you ask me) but there are SO MANY WAYS in which it achieves these deeper moments of meaning and subversion of the narrative that we are so often fed and the ways it could have done this (i.e. the same old Mediocre White Man ways).

I love the fact that the team unabashedly LOVES each other as their family members (I will never get over them all liking to sleep in one room even in their safe house in France), even when they struggle, and that they continue trying to make it right and never consider leaving Booker behind, because he screwed up but they still love him (and he them). I LOVE LOVE LOVE that this movie gave me not just Joe and Nicky but Andy and Quynh: two completely badass queer couples who kick tons of ass and have romance and Drama and rich and well-realized lives outside being used as emotional manipulation or suffering porn for straight people. (I realise it’s only been two weeks since the first one released, but where is my sequel, I have Needs. Especially Andy/Quynh and Quynh/Joe/Nicky needs). I was disappointed that they’d gotten rid of Quynh in a Bad Medieval Way to cause pain for Andy and then shocked and DELIGHTED when she turned up alive in Booker’s apartment at the end of the film. I LOVE that this movie gave me Nile Freeman and everything that she represents in the middle of this hellish year. I even love Booker! BOOKER! When he’s usually the character type I can’t stand and have the least patience with!

So yes. I have watched it three times already. I am sure I am going to watch it several times more. It just makes me so happy.

[milquetoast-on-acid]

Conspiracy Theory pt.2, A Reactionary Post

I pledge my faithfulness to you in sickness and in health. Receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.

Major Crimes | S6xE7: Episode Review I loved this episode so much more than last weeks. The tone of this case fits the tone of the personal stories. Unlike last weeks when the tone was so widely different and was kind of jarring. And with everything that is going on this season the personal storylines completely outshine the cases.

What this episode is about: The Psychological Effects of Rape and Sexual Harassment Vanessa Gus (& Rusty): Was it Consensual or Non-Consensual? Love your life, Sharon Raydor Flynn The Misunderstood Feminist Bonnie Pearl Sharon Raydor Working Families The Landon's The Raydor/Flynn/Beck Family Fidelity & Support: Those that have it & Those that don't | Maternal Love   Andrea & Rusty   Bonnie & Vanessa   Sharon & Rusty | Romantic Love   Rusty & Gus   Sharon & Andy

"There is no reason to say it is there." Even Provenza is getting annoyed with Cami.

"The last person I wanted notified is her Lawyer. No more impromptu press conferences." This is exactly what I was saying last time!

"She had trouble sleeping." "So she texted her attorney?" Andy finishing Sharon's sentence like this gives me life and makes me laugh.

"Your not my type. Your too far over 30." I love how Cami uses Curtis' words and throws them back in his face.

"Oh my god. You guys lie to people even when you don't have to." Nice throw back to the first few seasons when all Rusty said was all the Police do is lie to everyone. And I am never going to be a cop.

"We just can't let this asshole walk out of here." There is one crime that Andy hates above all else and that seems to be rape. He always reacts very strongly to rape cases. Remember what he did to Crolick, who got away after he raped a woman and then set fire to her? He sent Crolick flowers every year on her death saying "Happy Death Day." to remind him that there is someone out there that wont ever forget what he did. It even gave Brenda the idea to send Stroh flowers.

Sharon's shoes I feel like this is another case of Mary wanting to wear her own personal footwear in the show. I get that she's not working right now but man those are some ugly shoes. 

Not to mention these shoes here. I get that Sharon's probably supposed to have swollen legs at this point due to her Cardiomyopathy. But they didn't have to pick some butt ass ugly shoes for her to wear.

The Psychological Effects of Rape and Sexual Harassment

Vanessa

Don't really know much about Vanessa's behavior before she was raped but it had a very serious effect on her. She became rather antisocial. She didn't want any kind of attention directed to her and several of her coworkers knew that she was suicidal. To the point that they thought she'd killed herself and wasn't surprised to hear about her death. 

Gus (& Rusty) Rusty & Gus: Was a Consensual or Non-Consensual? TVfanatic's review of this weeks episode makes a rather interesting theory about what's going on with Gus. IF Gus was raped by Aiden. It might explain some of his behavior. Gus completely taking the blame and telling Rusty not to blame Aiden at all. Often times a victim of rape will take all of the blame of their rape, sometimes thinking that they deserved it. Gus avoiding Rusty. At the beginning of the season, Gus was deliberately avoiding Rusty. This could be because of him trying to deal with the rape.

If it was non-consensual why would Gus tell Rusty that he slept with Aiden? Maybe he's just too embarrassed to admit that it was rape. If it was Rape this changes things completely.

On the other hand... If it was consensual as Gus said to Rusty. Gus' behavior in this could also be explained as guilt over what he had done. Gus wanting to take the blame, because he is the cause of hurting both of them. Gus avoiding Rusty in the beginning of the season could be guilt about what he had done and not knowing how to fix it. 

If Gus did sleep with Aiden. Like he said he did. Then I urge Rusty to not take Gus back. Even if Gus will never look at another man while their together. Trust is something that is completely lost between them. And even if Rusty could forgive Gus one day, he will never forget. On a personal note this is something that destroyed my friend's marriage. My friend's husband swore he'd never cheat again but he did over and over again. And my friend could never completely trust him again. 

"I feel like I'm being bought out for sex it's gross." "And just so you know when I was being bought for sex, I made ten grand. Ever." DAMN there is so much being flung at the other here. Both of them flinging words of bitterness. It's interesting that he would bring up something so closely connected to Rusty's past. Considering that Rusty found out that Gus told Aiden about Rusty having been a prostitute. Which makes me think he never understood that part of Rusty's past.

"I'm sorry if I upset you. I was never very good at making you happy." A nice bit of Rusty being self aware. My how you have grown. Rusty ignoring Gus the way Gus was ignoring Rusty.

Love your life, Sharon Raydor Flynn

Sharon showing up at crime scenes this season is great but it also highlights a part of what Sharon is going through with her illness. Sharon has never shown up this much to crime scenes. Sharon is very dedicated to her work but is not the workaholic that Brenda was. She lets her team do their jobs and doesn't feel the need to stick her fingers in every pie. But I think with this illness creeping up on her, it is really throwing her for a loop.

Andy really is not the only one that's in denial about her illness. She's going to have to take a step back, probaby retirement. And for her to lose her career, something she's fought so hard for, one she loves so very much. A career that is so very much a part of her identity is enormisly hard for her to face.  And so she's pushing herself to be everywhere because of that. As soon as Sharon starts to go down everyone rushes to her side. Amy making it the fastest to her, and is ready to catch her if she faints again. Provenza looks like he's about to have a heart attack.

"I don't need anyone to come pick me up." "Oh no, no no no. I am the incident Commander and I will not have you collapsing in my crime scene. Now, you are over doing it. I will call paramedics. They can be here in ten minutes." Provenza reacts so fast in having Wes call Andy and having Buzz grab her a drink. Considering his reaction to her collapse the last time, for the very reason that he cares so deeply for her he does not want her collapsing on him, again. He's fighting with her here to get her to slow down and rest and is losing the battle. Fortunetly though Wes did follow through on Provenza's order and did call Andy. Who we assume picked her up and droped her off back at home to rest. I love his and Julio's reaction to Cami picking up Sharon's train of thought. Like WTF Cami!? The woman is about to collapse again we don't want her pushing herself the way she seems determined to do. And we don't want to encourage it.

"Sharon Raydor slept in and the world didn't implode." Why do I feel this is as much a knock on us as it is about the characters? About how we won’t explode if Sharon is not in every scene. IMO, that was never the complaint. Much more about quality of scenes instead of quantity. Which we are finally getting. 

The Misunderstood Feminist

Bonnie Pearl "I think Bonnie Pearl was more of a Maternal Figure."

I kind of had a feeling that they were going to go this route with Bonnie. And that she would eventually parallel with Sharon and boy do they ever. Especially with the whole Bonnie & Jerry, Sharon & Jack parallels. Bonnie is a tough go getter, a woman in a male dominated career and it seems misunderstood. Much in the way that Sharon Raydor is. Turns out the woman was very motherly towards Vanessa. Bonnie building a case against Vanessa's rapist really reminds me of that time that Sharon was very deliberate about how she dealt with Daniel Dunn after he beat Rusty. 

My question here is why was Bonnie so close to Vanessa when she wasn't close to her son? What happened there? 

Sharon "Your stronger than you think." Much like with Bonnie Pearl, Sharon was very misunderstood. Introduced into the show as the antagonist, who was not necessarily wrong. And the more that we got to know her, the more we realized we were very wrong about who she was. Both woman project an image of a tough feminist who seems rather uninterested in other's feelings. Sharon's seemingly emotionally aloofness is (in part ) a defense mechanism to protect her rather soft inner core. One that gets attached to people that seem to be emotionally damaged. Because she sees things in them that many others don't. Bonnie and Vanessa are the parallel to Sharon and Rusty.

Working Families

"It's wonderful don't you think, working with your family?" The Landon's

So it seems like Dr Peppy works with his family. I personally wouldn't let Disgusting Jr anywhere near my job. He seems like a spoiled brat who would rather be raging around with his hormones. Dr Peppy seems to be the showmen (and loves it) and Mrs Peppy seems to be the one to manage his time. Mrs Peppy definitely has the gumption to kill.

The Raydor/Flynn/Beck Family

Rusty & Gus "What's going on there?"

Rusty is really taking on some of Sharon's personality. When Sharon asks Rusty about his phone going off and why he keeps declining the calls. He knowingly deflects. And Sharon being Sharon who has to know everything that's going on with her children's emotional well being. Won't drop it. 

"I'm sure that Gus will come around." One thing that I find odd (but also not) is Sharon's reaction to Gus sleeping with Aiden. Sharon has this ability to see the good in people, when no one else can. It is her greatest strength as a person and her greatest weakness. I would think that Sharon would be more pissed off at Gus for sleeping with Aiden and hurting Rusty so badly. But Sharon still seems very Team Gus. I get the feeling that Sharon thinks there is more to the story than what Rusty is being told. 

As odd as this may seem it is very Sharon. This is the woman that didn't divorce Jack Raydor until 25 years after first separating from him. The woman that took in a boy no one else wanted and fought her almost every step of the way until he fell in love with her. The woman that saw a loving father who desperately wanted to fix his relationships with them, when everyone else saw a bitter angry man. 

Rusty Graduates and Sharon laments

Sharon's emotional outburst is interesting for a number of reasons. It was heartwarming, emotional, sad, and with a nice light humorous touch. Rarely do we see Sharon this emotional. Her emotional outburst is a mixture of her happiness of having Rusty graduate college. Happiness of having a partner that she can truly lean on. And fear of losing all of that with her illness. Rusty seemed to be taken aback at how emotional she was over his diploma. I'm not sure he's ever seen her this emotional. 

I also feel like that Sharon and Andy's behavior during this scene was interesting. Sharon putting her used tissue in his hand and him hold out his handkerchief to her was very fluid behavior. Like this is something they have done before and many times. Particularly when the two of them go out to the movies. Andy has to fill his pockets up with tissue for whenever Sharon bursts into tears. He always makes sure to keep one of his pockets empty because she always hands her used tissues to him. 

What I love is that Sharon is so comfortable giving him her used tissue. And that he's so comfortable taking it. And that he's waiting right there holding out his hankerchief, knowing that she's not done and that she's going to need it. Sharon apologizes for her outburst. Sharon you don't need to apologize for being emotional. Both of them understand. I love how Rusty is all, I almost cried myself. And Andy was like you are going through a lot of emotions right now with your illness. You being emotional is completely expected. 

"We'll keep him safe. As safe as a future attorney." "Oh my son, the Lawyer." OMG! We've got two very proud parents of their son! 

"This is the happiest I have ever been in my entire life." First she tells Ricky how her heart is full. And now she tells Andy and Rusty that she's never been happier in her whole life. Season 5b, we got Sharon telling us she's the happiest she's ever been in her professional life. Now we get Sharon telling us how happy she is in her personal life. Once upon a time ago, she never sought out another romantic relationship. Or another child. But both men fell into her lap so unexpectedly. She didn't need them or had any need for them in her life. She was doing just fine on her own. But like in life, people come into your life when they are supposed to. 

She didn't need Rusty but he needed someone to love and care for him. Would anyone ever thought he would have aspired to become a lawyer? She certainly didn't need another romantic relationship. There was already enough drama from her first marriage and life was good as a separated independent woman. While she would have been perfectly fine without Andy. The thing about their relationship is that they have both managed to heal the other. And for both of them to have someone they can lean on for emotional support. Which is a HUGE thing for both of them. 

Sharon's perfect husband loves kissing her hands. We get two of them in this episode!

Love how this scene here ends with the three of them as their little modge podge family.

Fidelity & Support: Those that have it & Those that don't

Maternal Love

Andrea & Rusty

That look that Andrea gives Gus gives me life. She doesn’t even address him. She only speaks to Rusty. Andrea is like Rusty's Aunt who loves and wants to protect him. As soon as she found out they broke up Gus was in the gutter. And I would bet that from that look she knows why they broke up. What I find interesting is that Rusty told Andrea that he broke up with Gus. Once upon a time ago, Rusty wouldn't talk to Sharon about what was going on with him emotionally. Now he's telling stuff to Andrea! I love it. Rusty is growing up and becoming so much more comfortable in his skin and with the people he considers family.  What I also find interesting is that Andrea was telling Rusty that she doesn't want him spending more his time with this guy who hurt him by telling him to hurry up that he's on the clock. 

I am 100% here for Andrea & Rusty Auntship/Mentorship. I love how this season is lowkey showing how much the two of them care about the other. It's usually Sharon that is very sentive about Rusty's feelings. But with the two working so closely now, Andrea and Rusty have really gotten to know each other. Andrea has gotten very protective of Rusty in her own way.

Bonnie & Vanessa It really seems that Bonnie has taken Vanessa under her wing. And was very maternal towards her. Encouraging her to go to see a psychologist and to keep seeing her. Which really makes sense just how emotional Vanessa was after Bonnie's murder. I had thought that Vanessa had something to do with her death (such as her having killed her) turns out that her connection (to her death) was much different. 

I think that a lot of Vanessa's coworkers and fellow members in the lawsuit againest Tackles. Knew how close the two of them were and Bonnie's death could have fueled a suicidal spiral for Vanessa. Vanessa was already suicidal and having someone who was a huge fountain of support just gone. Could have eventually lead her to suicide.

Sharon & Rusty Much like with Bonnie and Vanessa. Sharon and Rusty's relationship is also very similar. Both Sharon and Bonnie 'adopted' a child that was not their flesh and blood. And became a huge support system for them. Both Vanessa and Rusty have suffered sexual trauma's. Rusty for many years, did not deal with his past as a prostitute and his issues of abandonment. Like Bonnie, Sharon encouraged Rusty to talk to a psychiatrist. When Rusty thought that only crazy people talk to psychiatrists. And Sharon finally had to sit him down and stress that a psychiatrist isn't just for mental illness. It is also for dealing with trauma. 

Sharon was a huge source of love, fidelity and support for Rusty. That he was able to adjust and deal with his trauma. And he's turned out into a mature adult.

Romantic Love

Rusty & Gus

Even broken up Rusty is still supportive of Gus. Rusty went as far as fixing Gus' terrible harassment issue by strong-arming Aiden into signing a recommendation letter and giving Gus two months of pay. Gus on the other hand is pissed about it. I get it. It can be shameful and embarrassing. And Rusty has a tendency to stick his nose in where it doesn't belong. But, Rusty however has his heart in the right place. And Gus' first reaction to this is anger and to lash out at Rusty. But he should be thankful that Rusty was able to get that for him. 

Later on he seems to mellow out and he seems to swing from one extreme to other other. Anger at Rusty for sticking his nose in it. And later guilt and sadness and urging at wanting to get back together with Rusty. The thing is Gus was not faithful (as far as we know) nor does he seem very supportive of Rusty these days. 

"What other people?" "Oh do you think your the only guy that Aiden ever hired or promoted for reasons not related to job performance?" From Gus' reaction to this it really sounds like he's got feelings for Aiden. Even back in part 1, when Gus told Rusty 'blame me don't blame Aiden'. Certainly sounds like he's got feelings for the guy (not to mention being completely blind to who he is), like he's trying to protect him from Rusty. Rusty asked Gus if he was in love with Aiden. And Gus never answered him.

Sharon & Andy "Part of loving my life is keeping my spouse happy right now." Andy doing his best to take care of Sharon and keep her happy as well. Slipping her a bottle of water to remind her to take her pills. In a very discriet way in front of Mason, who apparently has no idea the sevritity of Sharon's illness. Mason seems to notice it though. Love the way Sharon takes her pills so very fast. Much like with their romance their totally odvious.

Doctor's visit

I love how this scene starts! Sharon's got her head on Andy's shoulder. Clutching his arm and stroking it with her thumb. She looks so scared about what the specialist is going to reveal about her illness. It is a great scene of vulnerability. Once the doors open however she straightens up and puts on her mask. I really love this because of how much she is physically and emotionally leaning on Andy for support. This is what being married is supposed to be about. Having a partner who will be there for you for the rest of your life. Who will support and love you in whatever you do. And I really feel like this is the first time we are seeing Sharon lean on him like this. It is also a hint of the things that we don't see. In that Sharon is only vulnerable like that with Andy. 

While Sharon does look more put together emotionally after they walk out of the elevator. She does still seem so very uncertain and scared. Andy of course notices this and calls her out on it, thinking it's her illness. He's afraid she may collapse on him. Especially with her scare earlier in the episode. 

It's really interesting that it's Andy that leads them out of the elevator and to the door. Sharon is always the one to walk ahead, she's always confident about what she's doing. She is always the leader carring the rest of the pack. In this instance, Sharon needs him to be strong for her. And he certainly doesn't let her down.

"But if anything were to happen." "Sharon, nothing is going to happen." "No I know but I need to say this. If anything were to happen, please, and please look after my children." "Of course." A few things to note from this conversation. The Laura Roslin illusions are strong and I don’t like it. Parallels to conversation that Laura had with Bill about what kind of funeral service she would want. Another thing is Andy's is still very much in denial. One thing is for sure is that Sharon's life will have to change. Another thing is Sharon's trust in Andy. Sharon could never trust Jack to ever be there for Emily and Ricky. Not when they were married. She can breathe a little easier knowing that there is someone she can rely on to help her children deal with her death. 

Another thing that I just love about their relationship. Or Andy's behavior in their relationship. Is how much of a gentleman he is to her. Always. They say it's the little things that count in a relationship. And Andy is always opening doors for her. Always letting her have the more comfortable seat and in some cases letting her have the only seat. It is such a sweet and loving touch. That has always said to me "I love you so very much, so I will put you first." I love how he still does this and that it didn't stop once they got together. 

"We'll be two injured hearts beating together as one." "Oh my god, that sounds like a bad country western song." I love this. It's so corny but the thing about it is. It gets Sharon to laugh. Which is ALWAYS his goal when his lady is down. I also love how this whole entire conversation changes tones on a dime. First Sharon is talking about her last wishes. Then Andy is trying to lighten the mood and their is so much mirth. And it makes me so happy that both of them are so happy. Just makes me think that the two of them are laying in their bedroom cuddling and giggling about the dumbest stuff. 

“I've been so happy in my life but walking through that door to see yet another Doctor could change everything." "Not everything, never everything." Throughout all of this Sharon is so uncertain about what is going to happen. She's scared and frightened. But she is not alone. And I love how Andy reassures her that their is one certainty in her life and that is that Andy will always be there for her. He will always love her. And that will never change. She will have him for support for the rest of their lives. And that makes it that much easier for her to face whatever is going to happen beyond that door.  

The way that he looks at her when he says "Not Everything, Never Everything." with so much damned love! Andy loves you so freaking much. He will be strong for you when you aren't. He will be here when you need him. He will help you find your way when you are lost. I love all of this so much because Sharon is always strong. She is always the one to guide others. Care and carry them and help them through emotional issues. It is really wonderful to see someone else being strong for her. And who better than her perfect husband. 

Plus there's that whole doors thing again. And this time both of them are walking through the doors. Together.

Speculation: Does anyone else think that Aiden will be back wrecking havit for Rusty?

Vanessa's missing books could be Dr Landon's books but....if Dr Landon is her rapist, why would she keep her rapist's books? 

Vanessa was stunned to keep her from attacking her killer. That certainly makes it easy for a small person or a woman who's not very strong to kill her. Much like there has been a lot of speculation that Dr Landon's wife is the killer.

What I don't like: I don't think I can really think of anything. Well maybe Rusty and Gusty angst is a little too much in this episode. Also Sharon’s casual shoes are butt ugly in this episode. You can have casual wear and still not look like a grandma. 

What I do like: 

This episode was EMOTIONAL AF. Angsty AF, heartwarming and loving. Lots of personal stuff. Just the type of stuff we have all been waiting for. Another amazing Family scene, Another amazing Shandy scene! 

Sharon and Andy’s casual wear to the doctors. Loved Sharon’s dress and Andy looked so much more handsome in that jacket than that grandpa sweater he wore in Sanctuary City pt5.

So much of this episode is about Fidelity. I never realized just how much until I started piecing it together. It's a nice thing to explore after Sharon and Andy just got married. How much Sharon is relying on Andy to be strong for her. And how much Andy is being a great source of strength for her! Mary who once again knocked it out of the park with her performance.

[gingerwerk]

I would absolutely love A) the Andy and Eddie prefic they're amazing and deserve the best and B) your k co hcs!

i know i say it a lot but like, i really, really, really wanna get this prefic written for them. like i love it so much.

but here are some f&t verse k company headcannons i really love that i’ve come up with 

despite being one of the best behaved of the group, burgie was a pretty bad kid growing up. like nothing insane but whats a poor kid growing up in rural texas to do but get into dumbass hi-jinks with his fellow shithead friends and get in trouble with the local cops? however eventually burgie gets in a little too much trouble and his parents send him to military school to straighten him out, and it actually works and it’s what guides him into joining the marines. 

like i really love the idea of snafu and burgie basically being the same asshole kid getting in trouble with the police every other day when they’re 16. it’s really what helps them bond because tbh when snafu first meets burgie he really thinks he’s some goodie-to-shoes, career military kid, maybe some military brat, but when snafu finds out that burgie had a bad side he warms up to him

eddie and flo are actually best friends and they’re both so into music that whenever they’re together eddie will have to pull out his guitar and flo will sing. eddie likes to surprise her by learning her favorite songs so that she can sing something she really loves instead of just the songs eddie knows (tbh he definitely asks burgie to tell him her fav songs. teamwork makes the dream work)

they talk on the phone constantly and flo definitely teaches eddie how to use snapchat so that they can have an insane, unbeatable snapstreak that no one can beat (burgie is kinda hurt that he’s not his wife’s number one on snapchat but flo’ll insist it’s because she gets to see him every day while she barely gets a chance to see eddie)

when everyone is together baseball is a topic not to be brought up under penalty of death (or really just that Look from eddie) because the last time it was brought up it ended in an hour long shouting match between andy and bill over the 2004 world series and the two had to be put into separate rooms for the next few hours to cool down (baseball is serious shit okay)

snafu brings up the ‘04 world series game ONCE (1) to be an ass but immediately regrets it when he’s later reamed out by eddie and eugene for stiring shit up (you don’t wanna see those two angry. it’s terrifying)

thanksgiving is a k company holiday. people will go back home or meet up with blood relatives for christmas but thanksgiving is their family holiday. it’s, of course, held at andy’s giant family home and every year they all end up crashing at andy’s because they’re all drunk and full of food and couldn’t move if they tried

there’s also so much food and so much variety because they’ve mixed southern, north eastern, and west coast food traditions along with general australian celebratory foods. every year andy tries to get eddie to cut something from the dinner because jesus christ even with giving everyone tons of leftovers there still so much fucking food but eddie never cuts anything out because he wants everyone to feel happy and to have a tie to their home, no matter how far away it is. andy’s never actually fights him too hard on the subject because he understands 

[thenicedolphin]

Oscars Analysis With Biting Commentary: 2017 Edition!

Better the day of than never, amirite??? The 5th annual Oscars post from The Nice Dolphin (see links here for 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013), where Matt always provides excellent, impressive, insightful, groundbreaking commentary, and Alex comes in flaccid, flubbing around, rambling about James Harden, Andy Dalton, and some scary movie that no one watched. It’s a tradition for the ages! Matt will be in regular font, and Alex will come in with the bold font.

Okay, first of all, say what you want, but if there’s one thing my takes AREN’T it’s flaccid. Anyhow, fun production note: Matt emailed me his musings at like 3am last night in hopes that I wouldn’t have time to take his shoddy, poorly-reasoned, informed-by-Buzzfeed opinions to task. Bad news, Matt -- ya boy is WIDE awake and ready to talk Oscars!

Best picture:

“Arrival”

“Fences”

“Hacksaw Ridge”

“Hell or High Water”

“Hidden Figures”

“La La Land”

“Lion”

“Manchester by the Sea”

“Moonlight”

I’ve seen all nine films this year. I think I once was sorta embarrassed by that, but at this point, I don’t care… I WANT THE WHOLE WORLD TO KNOW. We got some classics in this field, and I would say I generally appreciated all of these films, but we gotta hand some critiques out too. Buckle up.

I’ve seen five out of the nine nominees: Arrival, Hell or High Water, La La Land, Manchester by the Sea, and Moonlight. I’m watching Hidden Figures as I’m writing this, so that should tell you all you need to know about my level of interest in Fences, Lion, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

First, I want to talk about the 3 films that were originally the top contenders before La La Land took the frontrunner perch solo on a storm of bright colors and happy dancing. Leading into the season, we had La La Land, Moonlight, and Manchester by the Sea.

I watched Moonlight first (out of all of these films actually, cool story bro). Moonlight was hyped in the critic circles and fairly unknown to the public… this made for an interesting watch at a fairly general Regal theater. Let’s just say the crowd was NOT expecting it to be an indie film about a gay black man in Miami struggling with his identity and they were NOT digging it. Sorta a weird atmosphere to sit in, but that didn’t stop the movie from shining through with its brilliance. Moonlight is a great, great film. It’s a beautiful study of a tragically hurt and isolated lead character. It is full of unique, fully-breathed characters.

Moonlight is a film of three acts following the life of our main character Chiron, and in each act, we have Chiron played by different actors portraying different ages of his life. That shouldn’t work as seamlessly as it does, but Barry Jenkins somehow pulled that magic trick off. The actors look enough alike, and they have enough similarities in their wounded souls, to show that they are Chiron. It’s remarkable. As much as I love Boyhood, it sorta makes that film’s structure feel more like a gimmick. Who needs to film scenes over 12 years when you have a vision as strong as this?

More importantly, Moonlight’s story is so powerful, and so well-told. This isn’t just some story about a gay black male who is bullied and conflicted about his sexuality. This is that story, done in such a poetic and powerfully told way. The patience it has telling its story. The way each of the 3 acts ends. Moonlight is a film that haunts me when contemplating its best scenes. I don’t think it’s for everyone. It certainly wasn’t for everyone in that theater when I watched it. But I would vote it for Best Picture.

Moonlight is a FANTASTIC film and if there was any justice in the world (there’s not), it would win Best Picture. Director Barry Jenkins is a master behind the camera, showing the audience everything we needed to see and nothing we didn’t. Moonlight is at once heartbreaking, uplifting, uncompromising, and relatable. Nothing is phoned-in or painted in broad strokes. Jenkins withholds judgment as he lets his characters’ lives unfold against one of the harder backdrops in recent memory. Plus, I’ve always wondered what 50 Cent looked like as a child.

Also, I gotta hand it to the bully in the second act for mocking Chiron’s jeans for being “too tight,” even though they were your typical straight-leg variety. Taking something completely innocuous and turning it into a source of mockery is a classic bully move. Outstanding work here.

NOTE: as I’m writing this, our hip-hop correspondent Kavi D. texted me the following: “Moonlight > La La Land. But like Adele beating Beyonce, we know what’s going to happen tonight. Such a joke.”

But Moonlight probably won’t win. La La Land will. And I’m ok with that too! I really loved La La Land! I love the vision of Damien Chazelle (Whiplash was aces). I love musicals. It was really fun. The love story was pretty good! La La Land has flaws to be sure. The white-man-saves-jazz issue is hard to deny, even if you try to justify it with the fact that well, John Legend’s character is cooler than Gosling’s, and their band’s song is pretty good! Gosling and Stone aren’t Gene Kelly or Rita Moreno in terms of their singing and dancing abilities. In the end, I was still enamored with the film’s joy along with the story’s emotion. And that ending was great. How is Chazelle so good at ending his films?

La La Land’s other backlash is that it’s another movie about Hollywood, appealing to the Oscar voters. Some also think it’s winning on a gimmick, as the first original musical in a while, sorta like how The Artist was the first silent film of note in a while. Well let me tell you something… The Artist? Sucked. La La was way better.

The amount of love La La is getting does annoy me. I mean, I’m cool with it winning Best Picture in the end, but getting like 10-11 Oscars? Some of these other films deserve some love too.

/Locks the door

//Looks out the window

///Takes the phone off the hook (lol landlines)

////Re-checks the locks

I gotta be real here: La La Land SUCKED. Before we get into it, let’s cover the positives:

1. John Legend’s song - that was sick!

2. The montage at the end - that was real!

3. La La Land did manage to be a very serious movie while keeping the tone light and bouncy, which is no easy feat, so I can give it some respect for that. Everything else though…?

The music was terrible. I’m not a big musical guy to begin with, but I can certainly appreciate a catchy showtune. Here? Not a one to be found. Gosling’s creaky-ass voice grinding out a third reprise of “City of Stars” doesn’t cut the mustard.

The dancing was shitty. Whether it was those losers rolling on the hood of their cars in the opening number, Stone’s way hotter roommates bumbling around their apartment, or the leads irritatingly floating in the planetarium, everything looked stilted and unrehearsed. The “Dick in a Box” video had sicker moves.

The leads had zero chemistry and were completely unlikable. Fishface Emma Stone and Jazz Hero Seb were such bores, I couldn’t find it in my cold, black heart to care about either one of them.

Also, do we really need white-as-a-sheet Ryan Gosling lecturing us about saving “real” jazz music? Here’s the thing, Seb: Jazz is/was all about innovation and being on the cutting edge of music. So the fact that he’s obsessed with sticking jazz inside some snow globe time capsule is actually 1000% more harmful to jazz than John Legend freshening things up and pushing jazz into a new, modern direction.

Chicken on a stick up my ass, gump!

Personal note: each year on Christmas, my family goes to the theater to watch a flick. The past few years we’ve seen joints like The Wolf of Wall Street, Django Unchained, Fury, and The Hateful Eight. Real family-friendly stuff. Well, this year we let my sister pick and of course she picked La La Land.

For the record we ALL hated it, even my sister. This is only the second movie I’ve ever seriously considered walking out of (shout out to Adventureland, you piece of crap). Anyhow, I would like to thank La La Land for giving me this nugget to hold over her head for the rest of eternity.

The last of the original top contenders, Manchester by the Sea, made me cry numerous times. I mean, I thought that shit was gonna be sad, but that trailer definitely made me figure there was a little more levity in it than there was. This ain’t Good Will Hunting. I thought Manchester had some great acting, a story that really weighed on you, and had several scenes in particular that really devastated me.

Matt must’ve fallen asleep during the last third of Manchester because for about forty-five minutes it becomes a network TV sitcom, with Affleck helping lil buddy get laid and selling enough pints of blood (BAC .08) to buy a new engine for the boat.

But hey, this is a good-to-great flick, although it could’ve used a re-edit -- what, was Billy Walsh too busy working on the new season of Johnny’s Bananas? Manchester suffers from what I call the “Boston bloat.” Any film set in New England is automatically twenty minutes too long because it has to constantly remind the audience that it takes place in New England. It’s already called Manchester by the Sea! We don’t need close ups of analog TVs showing the Celtics or slo-mo shots of ugly white guys in various shades of grey and khaki shooting Irish Whiskey.

SPOILER ALERT: (Matt’s note: the next paragraph has massive spoilers)

Also, uh, is it just me or does Lee get off kinda light (in reality and in the movie) for essentially murdering his three kids? Like hey motherfucker, you did an awful thing maybe you should at least TRY to atone for it? The cops are like “you burned your house down in a drunken stupor and it claimed the lives of your three children -- we’ve all been there!” “Yeah! I torched my place last spring, lost two kiddos and the dog, a real shame.” I get that you’re tortured bro, but maybe think about someone other than yourself for once?

Also if this movie (and most NE-set movies) are to be believed, women are only good for banging; otherwise they’re shrill nags, out to ruin a good time. Exactly none of the women in this movie are given any sort of depth or character beyond “I want to fuck her” or “She won’t stop bothering me.” The movie even kinda blames Lee’s kids’ death on the mom!

And the climactic conversation between Randi and Lee? The crux is that even after all this time, she still wants to fuck him! She can’t resist his grubby, down-home, chawm! Pathetic.

Arrival is my favorite film that didn’t ever get in the talk for Best Picture. And why the hell not? It’s loved by many who’ve seen it, it was a popular box office hit. Arrival got on my radar early 2016 when I heard about the film starring Amy Adams and the guy (Villeneuve) who did the superb Sicario. I checked out the short story Story of Your Life by Ted Chiang, and it blew me away. Arrival takes a pretty challenging high-level concept and somehow manages to portray it well onscreen. When I read it, I thought damn, how are they gonna make that a film? But they did. Villeneueve is a true talent. Arrival is intriguing sci-fi with an ending that truly impacts you.

Arrival was the bomb! Great flick and an amazing adaptation of “Story of Your Life.” Matt’s right about the movie breaking down an insane concept into something that’s easy to understand while still delivering that emotional gut-punch.

Amy Adams had better rapport with the fuggin aliens than Stone did with Gosling, just sayin.

I’ve seen a few pieces mention Hidden Figures as a possible late surprise winner. While there’s no real chance at that, it’s cool to see the box office love it’s gotten. When I first saw the trailer for Hidden Figures, I thought it came off to me like standard Disneyfied civil rights fare (like 42, if you will). But then the critics’ reviews came out, and then my friends spoke of how good it was. And it is good! Hidden Figures has 3 strong leads in Henson, Monae, and Spencer. They have well-developed characters. They don’t need to have strong white heroes saving them – the white characters (primarily Kevin Costner, Kirsten Dunst, Jim Parsons), aren’t overly white saviors or overly mustachioed villains.  There’s some prejudice. There’s some goodwill from good people like Costner’s character or John Glenn. But these are supporting details surrounding the main stories of these brilliant black women facing the shit they had to deal with at the time. That’s good cinema.

Hidden Figures is sounding pretty good in the background right now, so I’ll probably go back and actually watch it at some point. I was initially put off because it looked like The Help in Space and I didn’t need to see another scene where Sandra Bullock tells a black mother what’s what. Apparently it’s not like that? That’s good.

Fences is a well-acted adaptation of a powerful play by the great August Wilson. Fences covers the story of a black family dealing with their issues, primarily stemming from the father, Troy Maxson, during the civil rights era. Maxson is a stubborn, difficult man, and that causes some strife in the family. It’s uncompromising and tough stuff to watch, and it’s really a challenge, in a good way, to the viewer. I’ll have more thoughts on it below with Best Actor, but I thought that it had a great story and a somewhat limited vision with its adaptation. The direction by Denzel could have been more creative, but its lacking transcendance from the stage reminded me too much of the Doubt adaptation.

Fences looked like Denzel sitting on a porch for two hours. That’s cool for Denzel, but I’d just as soon sit on my own damn porch.

Hell or High Water was a really solidly done film. Jeff Bridges, Ben Foster, and Chris Pine basically are the film, and they’re great. Really glad to see Pine get to do something good outside of his always strong role as Kirk. The story’s pretty straightforward - Foster and Pine play brothers trying to rob banks. Bridges and his partner are going after them. But it’s not Point Break, and the nuances of the clever dialogue, the creative characters, and the way the movie builds - that makes the film a special quality film.

This is a movie right here! I love me a modern western, and Hell or High Water delivered! The cinematography was gorgeous and bleak at once, really bringing home the message of the movie. It was good to see Pine bounce back from that atrocious Star Trek 3 film, and the banter between him and Ben Foster really pushed this movie to the next level.

I gotta be real though, the audience I saw this with was laughing a little too hard at Jeff Bridges’ racist-ass character. Kinda uncomfortable.

I was pretty dubious about Hacksaw Ridge. I think I found it to be somewhat cheesy and somewhat excellent. The first half of the film is basically cheesy goodhearted Andrew Garfield as he decides in life that he doesn’t want to hold a gun during WWII but still wants to help, and the struggles he faced trying to convince the Army to let him do that. At this point, it felt pretty cliche and lame to me. Then the battle scenes began, and I was pretty impressed and enthralled… what Garfield’s character, Desmond Doss, did was heroic and incredible. The film is strong when showing those aspects. It’s just a little held back by the stuff around that.

Hacksaw Ridge, the Finest Hours, Deepwater Horizon -- can we tell any of these movies apart? Do we care? Really happy for Mel Gibson though, getting to film another critically-acclaimed gratuitous bloodbath.

Lion was my least favorite film, and I’ve seen a few friends here and there who disagree with that. But I found it to be lacking. The true story is amazing, the emotions of that conclusion are powerful, and Dev Patel is my boy. But the story is poorly paced for me; at times, just a little too much focused on his childhood. At times, a bit slow and clunky in his search. That being said, that film made me cry still, because that story is sad and moving. And I got love for my girl Rooney Mara. But it was the least of the 9 for me.

Just go back and read my rationale for skipping that awful Life of Pi remake. I’m sure all the same arguments apply here.

I can’t speak too much of Best Picture snubs this year. I was pretty content with this field. EXCEPT FOR CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR; WHERE’S DA LOVE.

Captain America: Civil War was great...as long as Cap was off-screen. Dude is the most vanilla-ass leading hero we got out here. More Iron Man, Black Panther, Spider-Man, Ant-Man, really anyone else, PLEASE.

Allow me to play to type and suggest that The VVitch got snubbed! Along with The Lobster and Deadpool, some real contenders got left at the altar. Also, let it be known that Matt had a huge bone for The Accountant despite it looking like trash from day one. Apparently some non-studio-plant redditor promised it would be great. Once the reviews started trickling in though, Matt was inconsolable.

Best director:

“La La Land,” Damien Chazelle

“Hacksaw Ridge,” Mel Gibson

“Moonlight,” Barry Jenkins

“Manchester by the Sea,” Kenneth Lonergan

“Arrival,” Denis Villeneuve

Chazelle is the likely winner here, and it would be well-deserved. He had a great vision for La La Land, and his visuals and energy are such strengths in the film. I would also wholly support my dude Villeneuve getting some love here. He really put together a great film for a short story that deserved it. He has lots of patience getting to the points he wants to make, and he treats the audience as adults, not holding their hands.

Jenkins’ direction of Moonlight leads to some damn good poetry, so I gotta give him props too. Lonergan does good work, but I don’t really consider the strength to be in his direction but more for his writing (to discuss later). Gibson put together some awesome battle scenes, but man, he had some corny scenes building up to it.

If Jenkins doesn’t win this, I’m jumping out my window like dude from the Mad Men credits.

/moves into first-floor apartment

Matt touched on it earlier, but how stupid does Richard Linklater look now? It took him like two decades to make Boyhood, and Jenkins knocked out a better version in like a month! It’s like Linklater, bro, we have actors for a reason..

Apparently Chazelle winning is a done deal, but cmon! Jenkins told three PERFECT stories, tied them together with the exact right amount of narrative tissue and knocked it out the f’n park! But yeah, Chazelle sucked off Hollywood and made the smog-trap that is LA look halfway redeemable.

Lead actor:

Casey Affleck, “Manchester by the Sea”

Andrew Garfield, “Hacksaw Ridge”

Ryan Gosling, “La La Land,”

Viggo Mortensen, “Captain Fantastic”

Denzel Washington, “Fences”

This race has come down to Affleck and Denzel. I haven’t seen Captain Fantastic and have heard Viggo is pretty good. Garfield does good work in Hacksaw, though his accent is a little spotty, and I can’t get over how corny he is at times in the film. Gosling was better to me than Stone in La La Land, but I can’t quite say that either of their lead performances screamed “Best Actor/Actress” to me. I think the race should come down to Affleck and Denzel.

Casey Affleck was the frontrunner for a while until Denzel Washington won the SAG award, which shifted the momentum in people’s mind. Affleck’s history of sexual harassment has come up a bit leading up to the Oscars, and some think that has affected his chances here. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I think the accusations were likely true. I think if so, it’s fair to make the argument that you don’t vote for him here. It’s an award for who’s the best actor, but there isn’t strict criteria, and these are voters who have a right to show support for who they want to. If that means denying a vote to a sexual predator who was privileged in what he got away with, then maybe that’s what people should do. Constance Wu broke it down pretty well, as you can read here.

If I somehow had an Academy vote, I don’t know what I’d do. I think I might vote for Casey in the end. But that debate aside, I wanna talk about their performances now, and I’d say I thought better of Casey’s.

His performance as Lee Chandler really really impressed me. It’s one of my favorite acting performances of recent years. I’d take this role over other recent winners like my boy DiCaprio in The Revenant or McConaughey in Dallas Buyers Club. Affleck embodies this character, full of subtle sorrow and guilt and pain. I felt for him every step of the way, and I never felt like it was done with cheap acting or overly acted emotion (see: Sean Penn; Mystic River). Lee Chandler is the film, and Casey Affleck is the film, and he carries it all on his tortured shoulders.

I gotta agree with Matt. The entirety of Manchester by the Sea rests on Casey Affleck’s shoulders and he absolutely crushes his role. The pain and the patheticness that define Lee Chandler come through even in the film’s happier moments and Affleck never fails to show how Lee’s grief is hardwired into his DNA and informs all of his decisions, from where to live, to whether he should punch out the drunk Santa lookin’ guy at the bar (he does).

That being said, Affleck is a sexual harasser! So I’m not shedding any tears if he loses to Denzel, who is great and keeps me in good hands, insurance-wise.

Denzel is really good too. Casey is better. Denzel has a tough character to grapple with here. I think he might be hurt a little for me just because I don’t very much like the character of Troy Maxson. I felt like this when I first read the play for a class in high school, and I feel that way now. It makes it tough. Maxson is not a likable character. I like him less than your usual villain, and I think that’s always somewhat hampered my view of the story. Maxson is not good to his family, and he infuriates me in several ways. I know that in some ways that’s supposed to be showing the effects the time period had on a man like him, but some of his decisions in the story are too much for me to overcome.

That’s somewhat the brilliance of the story by August WIlson. It’s uncompromising and brutal. But it’s always been a tough pill for me to swallow and affects my view of Denzel’s performance. When I separate that take, I do think Denzel was excellent in the role though. One of his best roles in recent memory.

Lead actress:

Isabelle Huppert, “Elle”

Ruth Negga, “Loving”

Natalie Portman, “Jackie”

Emma Stone, “La La Land”

Meryl Streep, “Florence Foster Jenkins”

This category is hampered by the lack of Viola Davis, who pushed to be labeled as Best Supporting even though she’s very clearly a lead. Stone is the frontrunner, and she’s pretty good, but she didn’t blow me away. As mentioned before, I liked Gosling’s work more. I saw Jackie, and Portman was quite good in her portrayal. I would support her getting it too. But I’d be surprised to see the Academy give her a second Oscar this early on.

Amy Adams got robbed of a nomination here. She was the heart and soul of Arrival, and Louise Banks is a great protagonist. I thought she was wonderful in it. Why again is Streep nominated for everything she does? I feel like she could voice a 5-minute role in an animated film and still win Best Actress. Was she really better in Florence than my girl Amy? I’m dubious.

I haven’t made it to Loving yet so I don’t have a take on Ruth Negga. Huppert is apparently a dark horse for Elle; a film I haven’t gotten to yet that has a fascinating premise.

What the hell is always up with the movies the Best Actress noms come from? With a few exceptions, they’re always floating out on their own, like “Best Actress” is its own movie genre. Needless to say, I haven’t seen any of these besides La La Land, and that’s one I wish I hadn’t seen.

Supporting actor:

Mahershala Ali, “Moonlight”

Jeff Bridges, “Hell or High Water”

Lucas Hedges, “Manchester by the Sea”

Dev Patel, “Lion”

Michael Shannon, “Nocturnal Animals”

Mahershala is all you gotta know here. After some solid turns in House of Cards and Mockingjay, this charming-ass mofo is magic in Moonlight. Juan is one of the best supporting characters in recent memory. He has several brilliant scenes, not requiring overacting but just sheer nuance and charm. He makes such an impression on the film in not much time. He’ll win, and he’ll deserve it big-time.

After this year, they should rename this the Mahershala Ali Award for Best Supporting Actor. Ali is amazing as Juan, Chiron’s unlikely father-figure. He commands the screen in every scene he’s in, but like Matt says, it’s not with overacting or scenery-chewing, but with the amount and specificity of emotion resonating from his character.

Bridges is his usual awesome self in Hell or High Water, and I really dug what he brought to the table. Hedges is a quality support role to Affleck in Manchester, and he does good work as the young nephew struggling through his father’s death. He’s Boston as hell and he does it well. Dev is great too, even though he’s clearly a lead role. Glad to see him getting continued work after Slumdog and good to see him knocking it out of the park. Dude is jacked now! He ain’t no babyface lucky punk anymore.

I’ll give props to Hedges for staying focused on banging out two chicks at the same time despite his dad randomly dying. I love that speech he gives Affleck (“I don’t care that I’m an orphan! I can’t move to Boston -- I’m banging two chicks!”).

Bridges was cool; I always wondered what Bad Black would be like if he were on the other side of the law.

I love Michael Shannon. I haven’t seen Nocturnal Animals. But Shannon could make any role magnetic. He’s just sheer willpower tour-de-force. I don’t know what that means, but it makes sense to me.

Supporting actress:

Viola Davis, “Fences”

Naomie Harris, “Moonlight”

Nicole Kidman, “Lion”

Octavia Spencer, “Hidden Figures”

Michelle Williams, “Manchester by the Sea”

Viola Davis is remarkable and is so key to Fences. She’s great. I hope she gets the Oscar. And she probably would have won for best Lead too. Rose is a tough character to portray to me. She’s often reactionary to her husband, and she doesn’t have as much stage presence per se. But Viola brings that necessary gravitas and strength to the role to make it not just a one-person show. She’s lovable, tender, compassionate, etc. AND she does a good job explaining how she deals with/puts up with Troy. It’s a hell of a role.

If not for Viola in supporting, I would give the win to Michelle WIlliams. She’s really good in some key scenes in Manchester by the Sea. She’s emotional, tortured, hurt, and so relatable in the things she says and does. Otherwise, Naomi Harris really nailed it as Chiron’s mom during Moonlight (and in only 3 days of filming apparently!). Spencer was quite good in Hidden Figures (though I loved Monae more; I also just love Monae in general, what can I say). Kidman is good in Lion, but I can’t say she really knocked it out the park for me.

From what I understand, Viola Davis probably deserves an easy win here, but man, Naomie Harris was raw as hell in Moonlight. That scene where she shakes Chiron down for cash nearly made me call in sick to work the next day.

Michelle Williams in Manchester by the Sea was...not great, though I blame the material more than her. “But but but Lee! I still wanna fawk you! Let’s have lunch! We can get ya favorite chowdah!” She tried her best, but the dialogue was never going to let her rise above Southie Harpy #2.

Adapted screenplay:

“Arrival,” Eric Heisserer

“Fences,” August Wilson

“Hidden Figures,” Allison Schroeder and Theodore Melfi

“Lion,” Luke Davies

“Moonlight,” Barry Jenkins; Story by Tarell Alvin McCraney

Moonlight is bizarrely marked as adapted even though it was based off an unpublished play. Whatever. It’s an excellent story. I think it’s supposed to win, and I’ll approve of Barry getting his Oscar here.

Damn, I gotta agree with Matt again! This is truly a weird spot for Moonlight to be in. It’s like “oh shit, I adapted this movie from an idea I had once -- okay!”

I do wish Arrival could win too, because Heisserer’s feat is impressive considering the degree of difficulty here. Story of Your Life (Arrival’s short story) is a lot simpler than the plot of the film. Heisserer had to develop more of a global conflict to the story and had to figure out how to take plot elements from the short story and make it work on film (the short story is a lot more first person narrative; he did a lot to adjust that for the screen).

Still, no one has to be madder about Moonlight’s odd placement than the Arrival folks. They took an impossible-to-adapt short story and fuckin flamed it out into an amazing motion picture. Really impressive stuff.

Fences is cool because Wilson had that screenplay around for a while, and it got made after his death once a black director (Wilson stipulated that the director be black) finally was able to put the project together. And it’s a great story. Just not as deserving to me as Moonlight/Arrival.

Original screenplay:

“20th Century Women,” Mike Mills

“Hell or High Water,” Taylor Sheridan

“La La Land,” Damien Chazelle

“The Lobster,” Yorgos Lanthimos, Efthimis Filippou

“Manchester by the Sea,” Kenneth Lonergan

I still haven’t seen The Lobster and want to. I think Alex will vouch for it. Otherwise, this is a category where La La won the award at the Golden Globes, but I really hope it doesn’t win here. Manchester’s screenplay is so good to me. The way it intercuts between past and present, the way it slowly reveals different plot points, and the way it writes dialogue of sad scenes - that’s some good stuff right there.

I gotta go with The Lobster here. To call it’s screenplay efficient is a severe understatement. I previously lauded Barry Jenkins for showing audience exactly what they needed to see. In The Lobster, Lanthimos strips the entire endeavour down to the bare essentials. Why use three words when one will do? Shit, why even use words at all? Beautiful stuff, b.

On the other end of the spectrum is Manchester by the Sea, where every possible scene and/or conversation gets its moment to shine. This leads to a lot of great moments and conversations, but also to a fair number of middling ones.

Cinematography:

“Arrival,” Bradford Young

“La La Land,” Linus Sandgren

“Lion,” Greig Fraser

“Moonlight,” James Laxton

“Silence,” Rodrigo Prieto

Bradford Young can get it.

Dayum.

That Linus dude will probably win for La La, and it’ll be deserved. I just thought Moonlight had some hella cool shots. Also, Silence gets a nom here. I wanna see that at some point, even if it ended up not getting the love it expected to get.

La La Land will win here because Hollywood loves seeing itself glammed up for the silver screen and not as the tepid, plastic cesspool it is (note: I actually love LA, but am I wrong?).

Film editing:

“Arrival,” Joe Walker

“Hacksaw Ridge,” John Gilbert

“Hell or High Water,” Jake Roberts

“La La Land,” Tom Cross

“Moonlight,” Nat Sanders and Joi McMillon

Another La La win, probably suggesting its best picture victory.

I already burned my Billy Walsh joke, so I’ll just say this HAS to be Moonlight, right? I mean, it won’t be, but it’s economy in telling such a resounding tale defines Oscar-worthy.

Best documentary feature:

“13th,” Ava DuVernay, Spencer Averick and Howard Barish

“Fire at Sea,” Gianfranco Rosi and Donatella Palermo

“I Am Not Your Negro,” Raoul Peck, Remi Grellety and Hebert Peck

“Life, Animated,” Roger Ross Williams and Julie Goldman

“O.J.: Made in America,” Ezra Edelman and Caroline Waterlow

Really strong year for docs. I still haven’t gotten to the long, really-a-TV-documentary-series OJ, but I’ve heard such incredible things about it. The 13th was brilliant and would certainly deserve a win too. And I can’t wait to see I Am Not Your Negro.

Gotta confess, I haven’t seen any of these, but this looks to be one of the strongest years for docs in recent memory.

Animated feature:

“Kubo and the Two Strings,” Travis Knight and Arianne Sutner

“Moana,” John Musker, Ron Clements and Osnat Shurer

“My Life as a Zucchini,” Claude Barras and Max Karli

“The Red Turtle,” Michael Dudok de Wit and Toshio Suzuki

“Zootopia,” Byron Howard, Rich Moore and Clark Spencer

Zootopia appears to be the winner here, and it really was an impressive animated film to me. As I watched it, I was like damn those themes got a lot deeper than I expected for a kid’s film! Moana was really enjoyable too, though it didn’t quite reach the highs for me that some other recent animated classics have (I would put Frozen ahead of it, for instance).

Zootopia is my JAM. Love that sloth at the DMV. Moana was fine, but did nothing to distinguish itself from any other generic-ass cartoon.

No love for Sausage Party? Damn.

Best foreign language film:

“A Man Called Ove,” Sweden

“Land of Mine,” Denmark

“Tanna,” Australia

“The Salesman,” Iran

“Toni Erdmann,” Germany

The director of The Salesman, Asghar Farhadi, was not allowed to come to the Oscars after the executive order a few weeks ago, and then he decided not to come too out of protest. He also directed the incredible A Separation, which I finally recently saw. That film was so devastating and moving to me, and if The Salesman is comparable at all, it would certainly deserve a win here too.

Toni Erdmann is apparently going to be remade with Jack Nicholson, so I’m for sure curious about that too.

Give it up to Tanna, man. It was filmed in Nauvhal, which has like 4,500 native speakers.

Original score:

“Jackie,” Mica Levi

“La La Land,” Justin Hurwitz

“Lion,” Dustin O’Halloran and Hauschka

“Moonlight,” Nicholas Britell

“Passengers,” Thomas Newman

Original song:

“Audition (The Fools Who Dream),” “La La Land” — Music by Justin Hurwitz; Lyric by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul

“Can’t Stop the Feeling,” “Trolls” — Music and Lyric by Justin Timberlake, Max Martin and Karl Johan Schuster

“City of Stars,” “La La Land” — Music by Justin Hurwitz; Lyric by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul

“The Empty Chair,” “Jim: The James Foley Story” — Music and Lyric by J. Ralph and Sting

“How Far I’ll Go,” “Moana” — Music and Lyric by Lin-Manuel Miranda

La La will definitely win for best score, considering it’s a damn musical. Arrival should have gotten some love here, but the Academy dqed it because they were worried that this brilliant song used in the film would get confused as part of the original score. But the score is great on its own!

La La Land will win, which is garbage! As a Houston native, I will no doubt be pulling for Moonlight, as the whole f’n thing was chopped and screwed.

Two La La songs are nominated here, and City of Stars should likely win. I would love to see Lin-Manuel get the win here and complete his EGOT. How Far I’ll Go didn’t really stay with me the way other classic animated film songs have. Heck, I would rather have seen You’re Welcome get the win here.

Yeah, the two songs in Moana worth a damn (“You’re Welcome” and “Shiny”) got robbed, and both those LLL songs are trash. I gotta take a moment and recognize the special kind of horrible that is “Can’t Stop the Feeling.” I dare you to find a more written-by-committee, “Happy-”humping piece of corporate garbage that polluted the airwaves this year.

Does this mean I’m cheering for Sting? Fuck.

Also, Sing Street should have DEF got some love here. It was robbed. Sting got a nom instead? FOH.

Sound editing:

“Arrival,” Sylvain Bellemare

“Deep Water Horizon,” Wylie Stateman and Renee Tondelli

“Hacksaw Ridge,” Robert Mackenzie and Andy Wright

“La La Land,” Ai-Ling Lee and Mildred Iatrou Morgan

“Sully,” Alan Robert Murray and Bub Asman

Sound mixing:

“Arrival,” Bernard Gariepy Strobl and Claude La Haye

“Hacksaw Ridge,” Kevin O’Connell, Andy Wright, Robert Mackenzie and Peter Grace

“La La Land,” Andy Nelson, Ai-Ling Lee and Steve A. Morrow

“Rogue One: A Star Wars Story,” David Parker, Christopher Scarabosio and Stuart Wilson

“13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi,” Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers, Jeffrey J. Haboush and Mac Ruth

Kevin O’Connell apparently hasn’t won after 21 nominations, and he’ll probably lose to La La Land here. Well, I hope he somehow gets a win.

Let’s revisit a Matt quote from the top of the article: “Matt always provides excellent, impressive, insightful, groundbreaking commentary.” You’ve really outdone yourself here.

Last fall I was at WB Studios and they explained the difference between sound editing and sound mixing and I was like “Finally! I’ll have a real opinion when the Oscars roll around!” Well, I don’t remember what I learned that day, so let’s just give these awards to Arrival for that little pewpew sound of the aliens squirtin’ their ink.

Production design:

“Arrival,” Patrice Vermette, Paul Hotte

“Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them,” Stuart Craig, Anna Pinnock

“Hail, Caesar!,” Jess Gonchor, Nancy Haigh

“La La Land,” David Wasco, Sandy Reynolds-Wasco

“Passengers,” Guy Hendrix Dyas, Gene Serdena

Visual effects:

“Deepwater Horizon,” Craig Hammack, Jason Snell, Jason Billington and Burt Dalton

“Doctor Strange,” Stephane Ceretti, Richard Bluff, Vincent Cirelli and Paul Corbould

“The Jungle Book,” Robert Legato, Adam Valdez, Andrew R. Jones and Dan Lemmon

“Kubo and the Two Strings,” Steve Emerson, Oliver Jones, Brian McLean and Brad Schiff

“Rogue One: A Star Wars Story,” John Knoll, Mohen Leo, Hal Hickel and Neil Corbould

Rogue One had some good visuals, bro.

Damn, my X-Men couldn’t get a nod here? I guess the Academy is saving all their mutant love for Logan next year. Hail, Caesar! Is such a joke of a movie and represents Hollywood’s masturbatory tendencies at their worst. So it’ll probably take home an Oscar here.

I’ve heard Doctor Strange is like trippin off acid without trippin off acid, so if you’re trippin off acid when you watch it, it looks pretty normal. Yeah, I’m certain that’s how it works.

Makeup and hair:

“A Man Called Ove,” Eva von Bahr and Love Larson

“Star Trek Beyond,” Joel Harlow and Richard Alonzo

“Suicide Squad,” Alessandro Bertolazzi, Giorgio Gregorini and Christopher Nelson

Costume design:

“Allied,” Joanna Johnston

“Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them,” Colleen Atwood

“Florence Foster Jenkins,” Consolata Boyle

“Jackie,” Madeline Fontaine

“La La Land,” Mary Zophres

Apparently Matt died before he could finish this? Anyhow, Star Trek for makeup and hair? Except for that one chick, who was really lookin all that different? Give it to Suicide Squad, I guess.

Is the real Florence Foster Jenkins still alive? I wonder how she’d feel knowing that, in a twisted way, her awfulness was winning all kinds of awards. She’s probably dead, so it doesn’t matter, but still.