#andthen BOOM i suddenly start doing shit again and it stops and im a person again
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i reckon this process started sometime in late February but my Nothingness is only now Gone and I feel like a Person that Exists again and oy my god finally finally finally
#idk if you guys know what it feels like but i felt so unreal for so long and it happens nearly every year but god am i always happy when+#+it's gone#i don't know if it's actually depression bc I always lie in therapy so I don't go anymore but I'm certain there's no other word for it#I'll literally get sooooo careless in the sense that nothing will matter to me in any meaningful way and I won't see the point in anything n#ill just exist on another plane from other people entirely for months#and feel like im not a part of the world but rather an individual without capacity to change or interact or be a person#even if i look it i just don't feel shit#and nothing matters#and I'm unmotivated as fuck#andthen BOOM i suddenly start doing shit again and it stops and im a person again#and i do such a one eighty i become THE motherfucker it's great people love me#and this also lasts months and it's great and i love it#nd then it leaves and i get depressed again#12 year old me 🤝 all my other ages 🤝 20yo me#most annoying mood swings known to man#like that's the big scale ones#anyway fuck it I'm out of Depression now I'm great I'm kicking ass I'm delightful and delighted again
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