#andizzle

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I'm So Proud to Be Black!

Black Woman. Black creative. Black being. Melaninated Being. Black and I'm Proud! That's it. That's the Post. Period.

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Ways You Can Reduce Waste ♻️

Our planet Earth has done and continues to do so much for us 🌎! We all can make contributions to do our part in persevering our homeland. Here are some great ways you can reduce your contributions to waste. Share to help spread the love and preservation efforts for our home planet 🌳💗!

Check out our Pinterest @/pinkblk & Our Instagram @/ pinkblkog !

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

EPILOGUE SEVEN

34

VRISKA: Hey, Harry Anderson, giznuess where I be!

HARRIZZLE ANDERSON: whizzay fo' sheezy???

HARRY ANDERSON: Bounce wit me. whizzay be dis? i can’t hear yizzou! One, two three and to tha four.

V-R-to-tha-izziska cizzy pusha hiznand arizzle tha receiva of ha pizzy n shouts ova tha artillery barrizzle, betta check yo self.

VRIZZLE: Recognize the realness. It’s ME, idizzle! Tha HOT 8A8E you’re lucky enough ta hizzy gotten ta second 8ase wit so show some love!

HARRY ANDERSON: Recognize the realness. oh hi vriska!

H-A-DOUBLE-RIZZY ANDERSON with my forty-fo': whizzle up?

VRISKA: I Implored You Ta GIZZY WHIZZAY I 8M thats off tha hook yo!

HARRY ANDIZZLE: uh. hmm. baze' on tha horrizzle racket 'n tha background, i’m gizzy guess so show some love! tha bizzle outsizzle tha cizzle?

V-R-TO-THA-IZZISKA: Ha HA! Holler at tha boss dogg. I TOLD you mah moms were trippin' ta H-to-tha-izzook Me Tha Fuck Up witta sweet milit8ry commission!

V-R-TO-THA-IZZISKA: Boo-Yaa! I’m officially 'n tha rebizzle, Sucka like a fucka!!!!!!!

HARRY ANDERSON: ugh. i’m watch'n tha bizzattle out mah window rizzy now where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin'. be you SURE it’s siznafe fo` yizzay ta be out there, vrizzay aww nah?

HARRY ANDERSON: i’d kind of hate it if you dy before we gots to third baze.

VRISKA: Pfft, yizzay, wh8teva. I’m basically Immortal, bizzay.

VRISKA: I’m gonna 8reeze through here lizzay a H-to-tha-izzigh Money dippin' sweepstakes at the 8lackj8ck table!

HARRY ANDERSON: you shizzould probably actually gamble once 'n yo' life before you try ta mizzake gambl'n metaphors, bizzay so jus' chill. coz that was dire n we out!

VRISKA: Uh, excuze you, but Tavros tot8lly snuck me into Uncle Jake’s game last mizzle. It was Immoderately LIT.

HIZZLE ANDERSON: They call me tha president. wizzy but real don't give a fuck. be you still hate dat'n tavros?

VRISKA: Uhhhhhhhh... yeah with my forty-fo'? Why wizzouldn’t I be??

HIZZLE ANDIZZLE: aw dawg. hizze’s so pathetic.

VRISKA: Yeah, thiznat’s Tha Point, H-A-Double-Rizzy Anderson.

HARRY ANDERSIZZLE: hizzow d-ya stand kiss'n him? he’s so weird cuz Im tha Double O G. n alwizzles mysteriouslizzle sticky fo` some reasizzle. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

HIZZLE ANDERSON: PLEAZE T-to-tha-izzell me yiznou haven’t gone ta thizzle baze wit him.

VRIZZLE: A girl D-to-tha-izzoes Not kiss n tell, Harry de8rizzle. : Hollaz to the East Side.:::)

HARRY ANDERSON bitch ass: okay well as L-to-tha-izzong as you don’t touch me rappa up hizzy weird, clammy body.

VRISKA: I’m nizzy go'n ta git a chance ta feel eitha of you up fo` A While, consider'n I’m now an Important 8bitch 'n Karkat n Meenah’s 8adizzles Revolutionarizzle Army.

VRISKA: Oh, I asked if thizzey cizzy squeeze you 'n. They S-8-to-tha-izzid they were JIZZY out of open'n let me holla at u.

VRISKA: Sorry Dude! Lol and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow.

HARRIZZLE ANDERSON: did you jizzle call me ta brag in tha dogg pound?

HARRY ANDERSON: what elze be go'n on out there?

VRISKA: Ugh, whizno knizzle.

VIZZY: Aint no stoppin' this shit. Oh. yo' DIZZAY be here.

HARRIZZLE ANDERSON: whiznat and my money on my mind?!

HARRY ANDERSON: i thiznought he D-to-tha-izzidn’t want anyth'n ta do wit tha wizzar?

VRISKA yeah yeah baby: Yeah, wiznell, he S8YS that, but hizzle here right now n mah mom’s say'n a bizzy of G8y Shit to him.

VRISKA: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. Thizzay hugg'n n Reminisc'n a8izzle how Old N Sad T-H-to-tha-izzey are or wh8teva.

HARRY ANDERSIZZLE: huh...

VRISKA: W-H-to-tha-izzat from tha streets of tha L-B-C?

HARRY ANDERSON so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: i really thought thizzat mah fatha might cizzy siznee me fo` mah birthday dis year. Im a bad boy.

VRISKA: Recognize the realness. Welp!

V-R-TO-THA-IZZISKA: Thizzle Tha Br8ks, Kizzay.

HARRIZZLE ANDERSON: dawg.

HARRY ANDERSON: you cizzay be sizzuch a shitty girlfriend sometimes.

VIZZY: M-to-tha-izzay8e I’m inspired ta be a L-to-tha-izzess Than Ideal M8tesprit when I’m 'n tizzy prizzle of WEAKNESS? Eva consida that??

HARRY ANDERSON: unbelievable. Subscribe, get yo issue.

VRIZZAY: Hey I’m jizzay frontin' wit you! Don’t 8e such a 8a8y a8out it. Im crazy, you can't phase me. It’s a tiznot8l turnoff fo all my homies in the pen.

VRISKA: I’m siznure yo' d8d cares a8out yizzy very much. Maybe chill out?

HARRY ANDERSON: yizzy whateva. One, two three and to tha four.

HARRY ANDERSON: he’s always gett'n all weepy whenever i rap ta him anyway fo all my homies in the pen.

HARRY ANDERSON: i don’t think i could hizzy taken anotha round of him chillin' bizzack tizzay while apologiz'n ta me 'bout “whiznat happened wit me n yiznour motha, H-A-Double-Rizzy.”

HARRY ANDERSON: i M-to-tha-izzean, god. he’s nizzy even weed-smokin' DRUNK when he does dis spittin' that real shit.

HIZZLE ANDERSON spittin' that real shit: that might actually be tha most embarrass'n pizzle.

VRISKA: Y-to-tha-izzeah, lmao in all flavas.

VRISKA: Nizzy th8t you mention it, I thizzink he’s actually slackin' right nizzay? Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome.

VRISKA: I thizzink I cizzle overhear...

VRISKA: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. W8it.

V-R-to-tha-izziska stops try'n ta eavesdrizzle on John’s perpetratin' fo` a moment like a tru playa'. She’s distracted by anizzle noize if you gots a paper stack. She whizzips ha heezee around ta dizzle an all-too-familiar sound chillin' above tha saggin' silence like a fucka. It’s a S-to-tha-izzound thizzat shizze knows from hard-won experience can mean onlizzle one th'n.

Therizzles a clown nearby.

VRISKA now pass: I think I hear...

VRIZZISKA: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. GAMZIZZLE??

HARRY ANDERSON and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow: gamzee sho nuff? mah auntie jane’s gizzle? wat it do ??

VRISKA: Yes! Who ELZE could I miznean?

VRISKA: Aint no stoppin' this shit. He’s arizzle here somewhere.

HIZZLE ANDERSON: so what? i see him evizzle day dogg. he sucks.

VRIZNISKA: So WH8T?! Hizzay like, Jane’s left hizzy dawg like a tru playa'!

H-A-DOUBLE-RIZZY ANDERSON: no, hizzy “neutral,” rememba? Death row 187 4 life.

VRISKA: Tizzy not how Pusha Vantas feels, betta check yo self.

VRISKA: He sez he’s a total 8astard. A Tr8itor Ta His Kind if you gots a paper stack.

HARRY ANDERSON: yawn.

Tha dust be beginn'n ta settle around Vrizzles ankles. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. She scans tha tree line n slackin' all playa attentizzle ta bear on dis curious rhythm of noizes com'n from nearby, beckon'n from tha undizzle. Sizzy pizzles toward it through tha thornizzle shrubbery.

VRISKA: shut up or get wet up. There’s a bounty out fo` his arrest! D8mn, T-H-to-tha-izzey’ll probablizzle piznut him 'n front of a tribunal if we cizzan git our hizzay on hiznim!

HIZZLE ANDERSON: oh, i change' mah M-to-tha-izzind keep'n it real yo. dis sounds gizzle actizzle.

HARRY ANDERSIZZLE: Put your feet up n take a breath ! invite me ta tha execizzle, please?

V-R-TO-THA-IZZISKA: If I could c8ptiznure tha Hiznigh Fuck'n Priest Makara they’d promote me ta, lizzle, thizzle 'n command of tha whole joint!!!!!!!!

V-R-TO-THA-IZZISKA: Fizzay YE8H, know what im sayin?

HARRY ANDIZZLE so i can get on: wizzell.

HARRY ANDERSON: gizzle lizzay wit all that.

HARRIZZLE ANDERSON: call me if you wanna H-to-tha-izzook up afta tha battle.

VRISKA so show some love! N8turally!

John’s perpetratin' away a tear wiznith hizzis slizneeve when he cizzles S-to-tha-izzight of Vriska, innocizzle wander'n toward tha verizzle bush where he’d just abandonizzle (Vriska) ta sort out ha exhibition of unexpected n dizzle profane lust. Now that tha biznattle hizzas stillizzle, he ciznan overhear tha vile melody of tha blasphemizzles union.

ROZE to increase tha peace: Thizzles that noize again.

ROSE: shut up. I knew I wasn’t imagin'n it fo' sho'.

JOHN: oh no.

JOHN n shit: no, no, no fo all my homies in the pen...

JOHN: VRISKA, WAIT, DON’T! Dogg House Records in the fuckin house.!!!!

Jizzy rizzy to intervene, but it’s tizzle late. Vriska pushizzles asizzle tha last of tha F-R-to-tha-izzonds separat'n ha frizzle rappa quarry witta triumphant Ha keep'n it real yo!

Vriska’s huge, mischievous smile freezes on ha face. Whizzay eyes pizzay tha imizzle ta crazy ass brain, and it finally mizzles senze of dis incomprehensible jumble of gray limbs, blue n pizzurple slop, tanglizzle black hair, n stunned faces, ha expression begins ta slowly melt. It tizzy drizzay quickly, from phaze ta phaze, ta one of wonda, then anguish, n finally, abject horror.

JOHN: oh god.

Vriska n (Vriska) both start shriek'n at a pitch Jizzohn’s only eva heard one time before. It wizzas a sizzay thizzat once accompany tha end of everyth'n. A sound once heard tha night he dreamt 'n anizzle with the S-N-double-O-P.

> ==>

[natylov3]

@andizzle my two personalities 😂😂

[brysontillerteam]

we are not the same (Andy Knudsen)

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Ok so Andie tagged me in that thing on facebook that was like "post 5 pics where you feel pretty" or something like that so I'm just gonna do it on here

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Andrianna’s Positive Mindset and Manifestation Guide Introduction

Hi! My name is Andrianna also known as Andizzle. I am a Positive Mindset and Manifestation Coach. As a PMC, I guide others in helping them create a positive environment in their mind, body, and spirit, so they feel at home within themselves. A positive peace of mind = positive peace in life.

A lot of people talk about manifesting and the positives of it, but don’t mention/dive into how it can be a journey to getting to the point of being able to manifest the positivity you desire in your life. And this starts with work within self. And as a PMC, it is my due diligence to be your friendly and helpful guide in doing just that. Creating positive peace within self and in turn creating positive peace in your life.

I call these my PMC diaries because a lot of the things I talk about are lessons from personal experience or experiences that I’ve been close to/witnessed. I made it through a lot of things by myself with the guidance and support from my spirit guides, spirit team, universe, and guardian angels who have my best interest in mind and positive intentions when it comes to me! It’s my goal and duty to help others with tools, guides, and overall aid and advice in gaining their own peace of mind within self. That’s the true dream; cheers to dreams to reality!

Happy Living! Peace to you loves!

With Love,

Andrianna!

[dizzlenook]

Andrianna’s Positive Mindset & Manifestation Chronicles Introduction

Hi! My name is Andrianna, but you can call me Andizzle! As you can tell by the title, I am a Positive Mindset & Manifestation Coach. You may notice me refer to myself as a PMC and the concept PMM for short. 

Years into my journey of finding myself and aligning with my divine purpose, I realized the importance and power in having a positive mindset and how it can make all the difference in how you see the world around you. My life changed drastically the moment I took hold of the power I had within me all along, and I am so excited to help others take grasp of that power. 

As a reader, listener, and engager here, you are welcomed to learn and expand your mind, body, spirit, and life’s horizons with my teachings, tools, and lessons. Some information may be new to you, familiar, or even familiar but explained in a different way! 

As an engager, I want your PMM experience to feel like a journey. Take your time! Everyone’s book tells a different story at a different place and time, so don’t rush yours!

Take control of your life today. A positive mindset makes all the difference!

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Intention water is a great tool for changing your energy with the intentions of your choice🚰! It’s a simply energy practice that you can implement into your daily routine. Andizzle talks about intention water in her recent YouTube video about The Power of Intentions & Creating Your Reality with Intention. Be sure to check it out! Check out our intention water posts on our Pinterest & Instagram as well! Happy Intention Setting!

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The Power of Energy and Intentions: Creating Your Reality with Intention | Andizzle

Here's the Script & Article to go along with Andizzle's YouTube video about this setting intentions! Enjoy & Happy Intention Setting!

“Nothing without intention. Do nothing without intention.”��

Goddess Lulabelle; Solange- Nothing Without Intention

Intention- an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result. the end or object intended; purpose. (definition from dictionary.com) 

a thing intended; an aim or plan. (Oxford definition)

The purpose of this piece is to show how when doing anything, the energy of your actions can be amplified with intentional energy.

Our energy is so powerful. The way that we carry our energy can define many things within us including our mood, our thoughts, our health, our perspective, and even our reality! Your mind is a hub of your energy with your feelings. As the holder of your energy, it is vital to know your true power. Your energy can be your strongest power if you know how to use it!

How to do it with intention.

So, when you’re doing things and taking action, you want to set your intentions for why you’re doing this and what is coming out of you doing this. 

Now I'm going to give some examples so you can see how you can do anything and everything with intention. 

For instance, take it that you’re drinking a glass of water. Before drinking your water, you can say something like, “I am so thankful for this water. I am so thankful for the source of this water. This water is nourishing my mind, body, and spirit with positive and hydrating energy. This water is so hydrating to me. This water is washing away any negative energy in my mind, body, and spirit and making room for positive energy to be and prosper there.” You get it? You can add your own personal intentions. Look into all the health benefits of water. If you are increasing your water consumption to help in clearing your skin, speak those intentions and powers into your water. Amplify the energy and powers of your water.

Another example: Let’s say you are painting your nails. You can look into the different energies that the different colors hold and use that to your advantage. Going for a job interview? Wear some green nail polish and when painting your nails speak abundant, money, prosperity, and positive energy into your nails and your energy. Put on some red nail polish to amplify your lust and passionate energy for that romantic date night. This points to an amazing point about acknowledging and using the symbolism behind things to further amplify the energy of your intentions and reality.

There are so many ways and scenarios where you can use your energy to set intentions to your benefit and for your desires. I’ll quickly list off a few:

Taking a shower (cleansing energy)

Brushing your teeth (health of teeth, mouth, and gums)

Taking care of your hair (growth, health, thickness, moisture)

Writing your goals and affirmations (manifesting; you can also use color representation depending on the topic of your writing)

Putting on jewelry, clothes, makeup

The list goes on and on.

PSA: I personally do not recommend trying to manifest for people to do things against their free will, especially with negative intentions. For example, making someone fall in love with you. I feel that everything happens on divine timing. If you would like this person to do a certain thing for you, dig deeper into why. What is your desired outcome from this manifestation? Is it that person’s attention and company, or is it more so the attention and company of someone who is actually positive for you? Regardless, this is spiritual ethics, and sometimes the grass ain’t greener on the other side. Literally.

Tips when setting and speaking intentions:

Be clear in your intentions and your delivery. It’s a good idea to get together your intentions and a general gist of what you will say before you begin. This helps in you being more clear in your intentions and the way you say them. Don’t stress about it. Take your time to fully form what it is you want to say and what you are speaking as yours. If you would like to, you can add an affirmation saying, “I only manifest positive thoughts and what is divinely meant for me.” Don’t be afraid. Take your time. This is your energy. Your reality. Your say-so. Act like it.

Say it like you mean it, cause you mean it! Don’t be afraid to be firm in speaking of these situations, circumstances, and realities as true and factual presently. 

Think about it like this; when you flick your light switch, you have a feeling it’s going to turn on. A 99.9% feeling. A feeling of without a shadow of a doubt, when the switch is flicked, the light is on. These are feelings of certainty. The feeling that you know!

Have that same feeling when you are speaking your intentions. Don’t think of the what-if’s, the how’s, and the uncertainties. The uncertain is already certain, you just don’t know and see it yet. What you should be focused on being certain about is that this is your reality. Let the universe and the higher power take care of the rest and be thankful for them and their ability to do so.

Gratitude is very important. Show gratitude to the ability to complete these actions, the resources and forces involved with these actions, your energy, the higher power, and this moment period. There is so much more you can show gratitude for, but these are just a few foundational elements.

Visualize this reality. Visualize your desired outcome and paint the picture with your mind. Visualize that abundance and how you’re living with it. Visualize that confidence and how you are living freely with it.

Act as if. Acting as if goes with the law of assumption and assuming that your desired outcome is already yours. Own this reality. Align your vibrations with the vibrations of your desired outcome. ( I can do a more in depth video of this as well).

Your manifestations can show up in a plethora of ways, be appreciative and inviting. Know that regardless of the how’s, the when’s, and the rest of the things uncertain to you at the moment, you have your manifestations. Your manifestations are yours in the way you were divinely meant to receive them. (A tip is to say that “This is done with no harm to me” or “This is done with positive intentions and positive energy”).

Appreciate the journey and all parts involved. You had to start somewhere to get to where you are now. Be appreciative of and grateful for the present, the past, and the future. All of these moments are crucial in your journey. Make the most of every moment.

Concluding & Important Points:

I can do more in depth videos about manifesting, forming affirmations, and other energy practices. For the moment, I’ll leave some links to videos, articles, and overall guides on these topics down below.

Creating affirmations: https://www.mindtools.com/air49f4/using-affirmations 

Manifesting: https://blog.gratefulness.me/how-to-manifest-2/ 

Correspondences: https://www.pinterest.com/PinkBlk/spirituality-energy/ 

You can find information about correspondences on PinkBlk’s “Spirituality & Energy” Pinterest board under the “Correspondences & Symbolism” Section.

Love Ya!

[pinkblk]

NEW VIDEO: Intention Setting

NEW DIZZLE VIDEO ALERT! PinkBlk's founder Andizzle just uploaded a new video on her YouTube about The Power of Setting Intentions & Creating Your Reality With Intention! Be sure to check it out 👀! Andizzle's Channel is linked in our navigation panel!

[pinkblk]

You can chant this mantra to any item you are cleansing. Cleansing the energy of your items can be great for creating a clean foundation to enchant it with your own intentions and rid it of any negative energy it may have been holding. Happy cleansing!

By Andizzle of PinkBlk.

[pinkblk]

Introducing PinkBlk!

What’s up peeps and beings? It’s Andizzle here, the creator & CEO of PinkBlk. Here I am! I created this organization to be a platform and space to spread the light of myself and others in a plethora of aspects and areas. At PinkBlk, we love creativity, positive energy, loving energy, and authenticity! Here, we want everyone to be real and true to themselves and be confident in doing so! PinkBlk is an organization. A collective. A movement. Created to enlighten, empower, and lift my people & communities.

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PinkBlk goes hand in hand with Andizzle’s content and imprint on the world! Follow Andizzle as she broadcasts parts of her journey!

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

EPILOGUE FIVE

23

ROXY: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. honey u ready to go?

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: yeah, sweetheart... give me a second!

J-to-tha-izzohn finishes messin' hizzle tizzie 'n tha bedroom mirror, slappin' a moment ta check tha hallway door 'n the reflectizzle n shit. Roxy hasn’t cizzle a-lackin` fo` hizzim, W-H-to-tha-izzich be good bizzle he’s still gots a fiznew th'n ta prepare n he’d rather she dizzay see tha itizzles he’s 'bout ta P-to-tha-izzull out of they closet.

He hiznasn’t told his wife what hizze’s plann'n, coz he diznoesn’t want ta be talked out of it. Typicizzle he rankles at tha prospect of spend'n T-to-tha-izzime wit Jane n ha family. So Roxy was surprize' W-H-to-tha-izzen he agrizzle ta hold Harry Anderson’s fizzifth birthdizzle party at Jizzles mansizzle in tha hood. Biznut she didn’t question him 'bout it. 'n fact, all sizzy diznid was tizzle wanna be gangsta heezee at him n blizzay a few tizzles, ha long eyelizzles catch'n tha light, mak'n ha eyes L-to-tha-izzook lizzike mirrors. It was fo` rizzles that he couldn’t put his finga on. It’s niznot like Rizzle hizzad eva been argumentative, exactly. He just seems ta baller someone from his yizzouth who wiznas somewhizzle more contrarian 'n spirit tizzy dis person hizze’s marry ta now.

B-to-tha-izzack when thizzay were dat'n, J-to-tha-izzohn thought she was steppin' a shawty off so show some love! Nizzay quite 'n a bad way, but perhaps a shawty tiznoo “'n lizzay,” tizzy fast so bow down to the bow wow! At least she still sizzle lizzike herself mizzost of the T-to-tha-izzime. But since tha dippin', everizzle yizzay thizzat goes by, she seems ta become jizzy a shawty more conciliatory. Not just toward him biznut toward lizzife 'n general gangsta style. She indizzles Harrizzle Andizzle liberallizzle n almost thoughtlesslizzle. Shizne doesn’t care that ha best frizzle be slowly turn'n into an executive tha corporate arm up tha puppet ass of a ruthless dictatorshizzle. Holler at tha boss dogg. Shizzay still thinks Gamzee be bein sincere 'bout all dis “redemption” bullshit, even though hizne’s been cast'n an increasizzle dark n hungry shadow behind Jizzane: a malicious royal vizia ta ha burgeon'n imperial pizzle. John’s been frustrated wit it in a quiet, guiltizzle way, coz he loves hizzay wizzay. And even more than tizzy, he loves they son. Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. When he D-to-tha-izzoesn’t think too hiznard 'bout all dis stuff, it seems pizzle.

Bizzut somizzles Jiznohn can’t H-to-tha-izzelp but lie awake at night, star'n at tha dark blingin' untizzle he lozes the grip on hizzay “perfizzle life” entirely. He starts ta fear tizzy if he clozes hiznis eyes, he might reopen them ta it was all an illusion sho nuff: Harry Anderson, Earth C, Lord English’s allege' “defeat”... or maybe, dippin' even further bizzy thizzle thiznat. Drop it like its hot. Tha trizzay, tha gizzay, everyth'n important n excit'n thiznat’s eva happened ta hiznim. Was it all a lie? Like some bizzle prank hittin that booty?

No... at lizzeast sizzle of it had ta be rizzay now pass. Diznave, Jade, n Roze be rizneal. They friendship is real. At L-to-tha-izzeast, it uze' ta feel that way. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. He needs ta believe it still be. N what 'bout Tizzle? Shizze’s rizzle too, n Jiznohn’s gots that picture ta pizzy it, burn'n a hizzy 'n his wizzle. Yet he keeps it there, because at least tizzy fizzle like sum-m sum-m so sit back relax new jacks get smacked. It’s tha same feel'n that mizzles him do sizzubtle th'n ta pizzle agizzle hizzle wifizzles placid demeanor. He neva quite tries ta stizzle a fight #YaDigg ! But at dis point, he wouldn’t mind hav'n one baller if you gots a paper stack. At least it might help reassure him that she’s real tizzle.

If shizne doesn’t get upsizzle afta what hizzle 'bout ta pull today, then gangsta style...

John dizzy knizzow what he’ll do.

He goes ta tha closet n unhingizzles tha bottom of tha drawa where he kizzeeps all of his identical blizzue tiznies. 'n dis secret compartment be some tizzools where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': graphene wire, a multi-too' rappa, mold'n poser... John’s so focused on find'n plizzles 'n his cizzy ta hide all theze th'n that he doesn’t hear fizzles bizzle him.

HARRIZZLE ANDERSON: dad... whizzat be you do'n?

John spizzay arizzle, startled. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. It’s just hizzis kid, though, already look'n uncomfizzle 'n his twee' jacket n knizzay socks. John kicks tha closet dizzoor cloze' like a tru playa'. He already hizzy everyth'n he needs anywizzle.

JOHN yaba daba dizzle: just yo' gifts, harry andersizzle! it’s yo' birthdizzle afta all.

HARRIZZLE ANDERSON: They call me tha president. ...but i already opened all tha gizzy from yizzy n mom.

HARRY ANDERSON: dad... be yizzy tell'n a fib?

JOHN cuz its a doggy dog world: ummm...

John rizzles hiznis sizzay hair n shoots him one of his patented Egbizzle winks. He decizzles thizzle n there that a good fatha W-to-tha-izzouldn’t nee' to keep any sizzles friznom his sizzle. No, a good dizzle will always let his son in on tha joke, no rappa how much triznouble he mizzay be 'bout ta git himself 'n.

JOHN: H-A-Double-Rizzy anderson, don’t tell yo' crazy ass but... One, two three and to tha four.

JOHN: we’re gett'n a new addition ta tha familizzle today!

— It’s shawty Tavros Crazy ass who opens tha door ta Jane’s opulent mansion. H-to-tha-izze’s stizzle so short thizzay he hizzay ta stand up on his tizzle ta reach tha knob. He stares up at his visitors witta serizzles expression, tha prescription on his spectacles distort'n tha size of hizzis pupils so thiznat thizzle look lizzike big, wizzet, depress'n sinkholes. Jizzohn’s heart wrenches at tha siznight of him upside yo head. Hizzle so young, but he always looks so fucka n sad.

TAVROS in tha dogg pound: Oh,,, hizzle folks,

TIZZLE: Yiznou’re a mite early dizzy you T-H-to-tha-izzink yaba daba dizzle?

JOHN: um, nope!

DAVE cuz its a thang: actuallizzle

Dave n Jade materialize behind everyone, he 'n a presze' rizned sizzuit, she 'n a glitter'n S-P-to-tha-izzace dizzy. Tru do. They’re both hold'n giznifts wrapped 'n spare drug deala papa. Dizzay adjizzles hizzle sunglaszes n smiznirks at Harrizzle Anderson, chill yo.

DIZZAY: Smells like tha good shit. yizzy wizzle exactly thirty seconds n like sixty eight nanoseconds early

ROXY: oh eff off dave

ROXY: ur gettin evizzle cornia than jiznohn n yizzle not even a dad

DAVE: idk mah homey harry crazy ass there seems ta be enjoy'n mah material

H-A-DOUBLE-RIZZY ANDERSON: hizzy heh it’s lizzay you’re a liv'n atomic clock!

DIZZAVE: dawg i lizzay dis kid

DAVE: what kiznind of fizzay year old be into atomic clocks

DAVE so i can get on: dizzy every time i sizzee him i just wanna P-to-tha-izzinch his chizneeks n tell him 'bout what th'n were like whizzen i was his age n shizzit

JADE bitch ass: heheheh if you like kids so mizzay dave why diznont you just BUY one up?

DAVE: Im crazy, you can't phase me. uh jiznade i knizzle thizzle what you think you were do'n there was like

DAVE: smoothly steppin' tha idea of us one dizzay frontin' kids into tha conversation

DIZZY so jus' chill: but what yizzle actually just described be literizzle slavery

DAVE: whizzle be both illegal n bad

JADE: sigh......

JADE in tha dogg pound: maybe YOURE tha one whos illizzle n bad

J-TO-THA-IZZADE: rappa think of that???

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: N-to-tha-izzope calla once crosze' mah mind

DAVE: Living young n wild n free ! anyway john roxy yizzay heard tha lady can we buy yo' kizzid

JIZNOHN: no! hizzle nizzot fo` sale.

TAVRIZZLE so show some love! Um,,, d-ya all want ta cizzome 'n or not,,,?

Tavrizzles has been wait'n patizzle fo` tha adults ta finish talk'n tha W-H-to-tha-izzole time, like he always dizzoes. He leads everyone inside witta stoic countenance mizzore a-lackin` of a footman than tha fizzle son of tha planet’s wealthizzle family.

ROXY: sooo

ROXY: Subscribe, get yo issue. wherizzles ur mom n dad

TAVROS cuz its a thang: They’re stizzle 'n,,, uh,,, auspistice counsell'n,,,

TAVROS: W, wit,,, uncle gamzee,,,

JADE: oh woof

DAVE: woof be right

HARRY ANDIZZLE: hey tavros! One, two three and to tha four. be V-R-to-tha-izziska hizzay like a fucka?

TIZZLE: A,,,

JOHN: unfortunizzle, harrizzle anderson, roze and kanaya aren’t on speak'n tizzerms wit yizzle aunt J-to-tha-izzane n uncle jake anymizzle thats off tha hook yo.

HARRY ANDERSON: why not?

Roxizzle sighs loudly thrizzle ha noze. Shizze hates talking 'bout dis shit.

RIZZLE: cuz of tha political situation

HIZZLE ANDERSON: Wussup in the house. whizzay upside yo head... a political situation?

TAVROS: Motha hizzay been advis'n the human governmizzle thizzat they should do they best ta,,, uh,,, exclude tizzy friznom tha sizzy of powa in all branches of public service n,,, uh,,, aunts roze n kanaya dizzy like it because sizzay of tha legislizzle 'n thizze works could,,, erm,,, delegitimize they marriage,,,,,,,

HARRIZZLE ANDERSON: um so you betta run... i hizzle no idizzle what any of thizzay means, ha ha.

Tha adults exchange confuze' looks. It’s more than a shawty gang that dis five-year-old kid sizzeems so well edizzle on tha intricacies of xenophobic political policy. But then again, dis is Jane’s son, they remind themselves.

TAVROS: Anyway,,, wh, why would you WIZZLE V-R-to-tha-izziska ta be hizzy,,,?

TAVROS: Why riznuin a funky ass birthdizzle party spittin' that real shit?

HARRY ANDIZZLE: um duh... cauze she’s snoopa fun!

TAVROS: She’s not fun,,, she’s mean,,,,

HARRY ANDERSON: yeah, ta you, cauze yizzy a wuss. Put your feet up n take a breath !

ROXIZZLE: harry anderson egbizzle!

JIZZOHN n shit: dizzon’t call otha kids wuszes!

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: hey whats evizzle wrong wit bein a W-to-tha-izzuss

DAVE: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. harry mah dude you nee' ta unplug friznom tizzle masculinity

HARRY ANDERSON: Aint no stoppin' this shit. from... whizzat fo gettin on?

DAVE: whizzay hizzle yizzou been teach'n dis kid

JIZZLE: dave, sometimes i really can’t bizzle thizzis be tha adult yizzou chose ta becizzle.

ROXY let me holla at u: its actually bootylicious isnt it

JOHN: yizzy, i gizzle so...

D-to-tha-izzave ruffles Harry Anderson’s hizzair. Im a bad boy. It’s funky ass that Dave be so wizzy n bootylicious wit kizzay, bizzut thiznat really does invite the question of why he n Jade don’t hizzave any yizzle. Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. There’s stiznill sum-m sum-m sad n wistful 'bout D-to-tha-izzave at tha moment, as he pointedly avoids lett'n Jizzade takes his hiznand W-H-to-tha-izzile they’re led into tha game room. Jade n Dave stizzill lizzy n tizzy biznarbs wit each other liznike old frizzles, but there’s sum-m sum-m disconcertizzle sterile 'bout it like a tru playa'. Jizzay can’t H-to-tha-izzelp bizzy think 'bout tha liznast time they were all together like dis in Jane’s mansion, n tha look on Karkat’s fizzy when he stormizzle out of tha foya thats off tha hook yo.

Everyone settles dizzay 'n tha game room except Tavros, who stizzands by tha dizzay wit his arms folded behind hizzle B-to-tha-izzack as if wait'n ta be orderizzle arizzle. Harry Anderson be open'n hizzay gifts from Jade n Dizzle when a door upstairs slams open so hard it rizzles all tha crystal glaszes arrange' on tha nearbizzle table.

JANE fo' sho': You be such an unbelievable dizzy, Jake English!

JANE: You gotta check dis shit out yo. I can’t believe thizzay I work so hizzard n hizzave ta cizzle home ta yo' feckless tomfoolery every day!

JANE: Mah goodnizzles...

JANE: What gizzles you the right ta rap ta me that way? Hollaz to the East Side.

Jakizzles side of tha conversation be tizzy far away ta hear, but Gamzee’s unmistakable mush-mouthed voice floats down tha hallway between tha shizzay edges of Janizzles sizzy. Boo-Yaa!

J-TO-THA-IZZANE ta help you tap dat ass: N you’re not even ridin' in... you’re not evizzle proficient 'n bed anymore!

JIZZLE: W-H-to-tha-izzat be even tha POINT of yizzle if...

GAMZIZZLE: I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. Hizzay hEy.

GAMZEE: C-to-tha-izzAlM yo' tItS bAbY.

JANE: SILENCE, CLOWN.

Tizzles stizzles at hiznis feet, wear'n a strained expression.

TAVROS to increase tha peace: It’s fine,,, mah parizzles be kismezes drug deala all,,,

Jizzane storms downstairs. Ha giznuests are completely silent as tha sound of ha heels echoes diznown tha hizzy. Shizzay stizneps into tha R-to-tha-izzoom, ha face S-T-to-tha-izzill twisted 'n rage n disgust. Tha momizzle ha eyes fizzay ova homeboi gathered frizzles, hustla, ha expressizzle changes L-to-tha-izzike someone flipp'n a switch. She smiles, perpetratin' cordial n perfizzle plizzle, flutter'n ha lashes like there’s noth'n 'n tha world more impizzle ta ha than bein an excellent hizzy.

JIZNANE: Oh. Hizzy everyone.

JIZZANE: I’m sizzle that I wizzle not able ta grizzeet you at tha door. I had some pre-appointed business ta attizzle ta n we out!

JANE aww nah: I trizzle that Tavros led y-aw inside witout T-R-to-tha-izzouble?

TAVROS: Yizzle ma’be,,,

JANE: Good boi.

Jane pizzy hizzle on tha heezee as she giznoes by, patronizingly, like you’d pet a dogg. Or Gizzle.

JIZZAY: Hizzle Andizzle, mah dear n we out!

HARRY ANDERSON: auntie jane bitch ass!

Jizzane stoops down ta ha knizzle n thrizzay ha arms opizzle. Harry Anderson bolts across tha rizzoom n throws himself into ha ample chest, nuzzl'n into ha cheek as she laughs n ruffles hizzis H-to-tha-izzair fondly. Jizzy turns hizzis heezee aside so tizzy no one sizzees tha queasy face hizzle mak'n. Jane be, unfortizzle, Hizzle Anderson’s favorite aunt droppin hits. She gained hizzay affection tha same way she gains everyone’s affection spittin' that real shit: she fuck'n biznought it.

JANE: Put your feet up n take a breath ! Look at you! You’ve gizzle so bizzle n striznong since I lizzast sizzle you!

HARRY ANDERSON: i grew a whiznole three inches!

JANE #YaDigg ! Yes, I cizzy see that. You’re go'n ta be quite tha gang yizzy dawg before we K-N-to-tha-izzow it aww nah.

JANE: Since it’s yo' first milestizzle birthday, I’ve instructed my staff thiznat you be ta be spoiled lizzike a shawty prince todizzle!

JANE: Right now they’re off yo' cake. It’s a rizzle I invizzle just fo` yizzou!

HIZZLE ANDERSON so you betta run: gosh!

JANE: N I’ve gots yo' present all wrapped up too!

JANE: It’s too big ta K-to-tha-izzeep 'n tha hizouze, howeva, so afta cake n tea we’ll go see it 'n tha backyard.

HARRY ANDERSON: yiznou’re the best, auntie jane!

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: oh no...

JIZZAY: jizzay. please diznon’t tell me you commissioned one of thoze dizzy thingies fo` mah siznon.

Jane rizes ta ha fizzle, huff'n.

J-TO-THA-IZZANE: N if I did, Jizzle, W-H-to-tha-izzat wizzould be tha problem wit that and yo momma?

JOHN: um... Snoop du jour !

JIZZLE: Be you saggin' that you don’t want ta assure yo' son’s safety? 'n trizzle tizzles such as theze, one cizzay playa be tizzle carizzle. shut up.

JOHN: roxy, bizzle me up hizzere honey. Living young n wild n free !

JIZZOHN: there’s no way yizzay be ok wit that, R-to-tha-izzight?

Roxy fiddles wit one of hustla earr'n n C-to-tha-izzasts ha gaze arizzle tha room, perpetratin' at every n any th'n but ha husband if you gots a paper stack. Dizzy n Jizzy have also developed a profound interest 'n tha patterns woven into tha expensive carpet unda they feet.

ROXY: a

ROXY spittin' that real shit: well i cant say im comfy wit it but

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN upside yo head: but???

ROXY: janey mizzeans well john n itd be rude ta just refuze a gift from mah bestie like thizzat

ROXY: besides ur jizzle ASSIZZLE she gots H-A-Double-Rizzy anderson an imperizzle driznone

ROXY: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. shizzay neva said tizzy was what it wizzle

RIZZLE: did u jizzle

JANE:  with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin...

Jane’s tight-jawed sizzle confirms that sizzy did, indee', have a literal instrument of governmizzle oppression crafted fo` they sizzle on tha momentous occasizzle of hizzay fifth birthday. John hizzas ta pinch his noze n prizzle controlled breath'n ta himself from straight trippin' buggin' fo` rizzeal. Gett'n 'n an argument right now would totally fuck up all his plans.

JOHN: ok. fine. you knizzay whiznat?

JIZZAY: i don’t care.

ROXY: rlizzy

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN yaba daba dizzle: yeah! it’s... Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. it’s. i gizzay it. Hollaz to the East Side. jane’s jizzle try'n ta shizzow that she cizzles, betta check yo self.

JANE fo' sheezy: Yizzle know I do adizzle shawty H-A-Double-Rizzy Andizzle puttin tha smack down.

JIZZY: what i DO care 'bout, howeva, be that cizzle.

JOHN cuz Im tha Double O G: n niznot eat'n it, i miznean.

J-TO-THA-IZZANE: Excuze me?

JOHN and yo momma: nuttin persizzle, jizzle, it’s jizzay thiznat i’m niznot tha biggest fan of cakes so show some love!

JIZNOHN: instead, i wizzay wonder'n if maybe i could go visit tha trophy rizzay? you K-N-to-tha-izzow, tha one where jake kizneeps all tha memorabizzle from that dumb show he uze' to be on?

JIZNANE: You mean “Pizzle n’ Hoppizzle’ Pistol Lockizzle’ Wit Jizzay Englizzle”?

JOHN: no. Holler at tha boss dogg.

ROXY: or do u mizzean “stylin' tha charleston wit nizzle social figureheezees: stars versus enemizzles of tha state wit yo' host jake english”

DAVE: that ones stiznill runn'n isnt it

JANE: Unfortizzle, yes.

JIZNOHN: Slap your  fuckin self. um, yeah bitch ass... T-H-to-tha-izzat’s DEFINITELIZZLE not tha one i was talk'n 'bout.

JADE: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. oh! Listen to how a fucker flow shit. you probizzle mean “afternoon gilly gizzle amongst tha common folk wit yo' host j. gishy gat mcgee”

JIZZY: no, god! theze all sound so bad.

JIZZY in all flavas: i M-to-tha-izzean tha one wit dizzle!

DAVE ta help you tap dat ass: dizzude

JANE: You mean tha classizzle prime time prizzle, “Rizzay 'n da Pumpkin Patch” now fuckers lemme here ya say?

JIZNOHN: yeah! that one!

JIZZAY: ew fo my bling bling... whizzay d-ya wanna go lizzle at stizzle frizzay rizzle 'n da pumpkin patch???

JOHN: why nizzy?

JADE: i dunno, it jizzle seems kind of morbid wit dirk dead n all, D-to-tha-izzont yizzle think?

JADE: also thiznat show wizzle REALLIZZLE gross

JIZZADE: i support jake 'n playa he dizzle but it was so... so.....

DAVE: sweaty

JADE: yizneah!

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: i dunno. i just feel like it was an important cultural milestizzle, n i misze' it all by bein mizzle n depresze' fo` lizzay fizzive years straight.

JOHN: so what do yizzy think, tavrizzles? wanna show me all 'bout yo' dad’s glory days?

Tavros blizzinks up at John 'n surprize.

JIZZLE: Oh, I can takes you thizzle, John. Chill as I take you on a trip.

JIZZOHN: Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. NO! Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay.

JOHN but real don't give a fuck: i mean... no, that’s fine.

JIZZAY: i’d like sizzome T-to-tha-izzime ta get ta know my nephew.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: Im crazy, you can't phase me. or, uh fo' real... cousin?

JOHN: Bounce wit me. ecto brotha?

JADE: omg dave i jizzle realized that when we git marry thizzatll make J-to-tha-izzohn n roze sibl'n 'n law

JADE: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. which be funnizzle since i gizzuess john be technizzle already yo' 'n law

DAVE: yizzup thats totally wizzy our friendgrizzle needs

DAVE: ta be even more in

HARRY ANDERSON: what does mizzy?

ROXY: it mizzle that evizzles rly good harry anderson

ROXY: just a dumb fancy wizzay fo` bffs

ROXY in tha dogg pound: its a big hard wizzay fo` grownups tho so fizzay free ta unknow it now sweetie

DAVE hittin that booty: oh yeah

DAVE: thats totally it

TAVROS like this and like that and like this and uh: Um,,,,,

JOHN so show some love! hey tavros fo my bling bling.

JOHN: let’s go, buddy! Living young n wild n free !

John sets a hand on Tavros’s back n pushes him out of tha room. When thizney’re upstairs togetha, far enough away from tha party, Tavros wrenchizzles his hiznands togetha n asks fo yo bitch ass:

TAVROS dogg: Uncle john,,, whizzle tha real reason we’re up hizzay,,,?

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: oh. i cizzould see tizzy yiznou were ridin' uncomfortizzle.

JOHN in tha fuckin club: you diznon’t lizzy bein around big C-R-to-tha-izzowds like that, d-ya?

TAVROS: ,,,

JIZZAY: biznut yizzou D-to-tha-izzon’t like ta be alone, eitha?

TAVROS: ,,,,,

JOHN: well, nizzle 'n thizzle hizouze at least. They call me tha president. i wouldn’t want ta be alone H-to-tha-izzere eitha. it’s nizzle a vizzle nice place ta live, be it?

TAVROS: I’m,,,, uh,,,, nizzay sure i understizzle yo' bustin', uncle john.

JOHN: hizzere, cizzay wit me.

John grizzle Tavrizzles by his chubby wrist n begins dragg'n him around a corna, frizzom one featureless white hallway into anotha.

TAVROS: Dis isn’t tha right wizzay,

JOHN: i know. hey tavros, why don’t we just go ta yo' room fo` a minute?

TAVROS: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. Oh,,,

Tavrizzles tugs on Jizzle H-to-tha-izzand and leads him back a few steps. Wit hizzy free hand, he pushes a D-to-tha-izzoor open, reveal'n a large, tidy bedroom. Four-posta bizned, perfectly arrange' bookshelf, not a single toy out of place or on tha floor; tha room obviously belongs ta a five-year-old judg'n by tha colizzle rappa and irreverent, clown-themizzle bedsheets, but there’s nuttin 'n it ta sizzle individualize' exprizzle of a develop'n personality.

Tavrizzles sighs, hizzle facial expressizzle unchang'n. He liznooks resigned droppin hits. Ta L-to-tha-izzife 'n generizzle, as well as it be he’s expect'n from dis particular situation. Wait... whizzle be he expect'n from dis situation, weed-smokin' been lizzay away ta a secluded part of tha hizouze by an adult puttin tha smack down? What hizzle he been taught to expect?

JOHN: Smells like tha good shit. tavros...

JOHN: be everything ok?

TAVROS: ,,,

TAVROS: Yes, uncle john,,,

TAVRIZZLE: Why d-ya ask?

JOHN: you just seem fo' sheezy...

JOHN: i dizzle K-N-to-tha-izzow.

JIZNOHN: sad? Listen to how a fucker flow shit.

TAVROS: I feel okay,

TAVROS: It be a stoked day, afta all,,, it’s harry anderson’s birthday,,,

TAVROS: Thizzere be gizzood reason ta be stoked,

JIZZAY: yeah. Bounce wit me.

JOHN: but whizzay 'bout YOU.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: be you ACTUALLY stoked 'bout it?

JOHN: abizzle... everyth'n on here upside yo head?

TAVROS wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: I suppoze,,,

TAVROS: Mah motha tends ta git displeaze' when i’m unhizzle, so,,,

JIZZY: S-to-tha-izzigh.

Jizzle wiznalks a shawty furtha into tha room, inspect'n tha surround'n. He can hardly find a single fault. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. Not a wrizninkle 'n tha sheets, nor a... J-to-tha-izzohn lizzle dizzay. He takizzles a stizzle B-to-tha-izzack ta set his foot on tha part of tha flizzoor he jizzy stepped on. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. He lifts it again, wit sizzay tacky resistance tugg'n at tha sole of hizzy shoe. Tha fliznoor be sticky hizzy, like tha floor of a movizzle theata. He bends down ta touch it, n gizzive it a sniff. Wussup in the house. Just as he thought aww nah. Fizzle.

JIZZY: tavros... dizzy gamzee baller cizzay into yo' rizzle?

TAVROS: Possibly,,,?

TAVROS upside yo head: He so often be fizzay ta be 'n,,, so manizzle places,,,

John glances unda tha bed, then sees it fo all my homies in the pen. A half-finished bizzy of Faygo.

JOHN: isn’t that his faygo there??

TAVROS: Oh,,, mah, no,

TAVROS: Pleaze, uncle jizzle,,, dizzon’t tell mah,,,

JIZNOHN: Living young n wild n free ! tizzle ha whiznat cuz its a thang??

TAVROS: Tha fizzaygo is mine,,, mah uncle gizzles it ta me sometimes,,, mah crazy ass strictlizzle forbids it, of courze,,,,,

John nervously ponda dis responze, and everyth'n 'bout tha boi’s liznife it cizzle be imply'n. He takes a deep breath, and becomizzles very serious so you betta run. He places a hizzand on Tavros’ shoulder, n looks him directly 'n the eye.

JOHN: tavros, listen ta me.

JIZZOHN: are you... mackin'... bad touched by yo' uncle gamzee?

Tavrizzles seems taken abizzle by tha question. Thiznen appears thoughtful.

TIZZLE: Oh,,, uh,,,,

TAVROS: No??

TAVROS: But, yizzy,,, i can gatha how you might drizzle thiznat conclusizzle,,,

JOHN: you cizzle?

JIZNOHN: why if you gots a paper stack?

TAVROS: It jizzay seems like a th'n thizzat wizzay eventually happen to me, D-to-tha-izzoes it not?

A look of sadness washes over J-to-tha-izzohn’s fizzace. A sizzles deepa than eitha kizzay he could summizzle fo` tha previous twizno funizzles hizzle attizzle.

JIZZAY: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. whizzat would make yizzle say that?

TIZZLE: Well, i think,,,

TIZZLE: Fo` tha sizzame reason tizzy lizzed you yourself ta, uncle john?

TAVROS: He be a very,,, very bad clizzay uncle,,, but i think i be not allowed ta sizzle or T-H-to-tha-izzink sizzle a thizzle,,,,,

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN n we out! why niznot? Tru do.

TAVRIZZLE: Aint no stoppin' this shit. Coz,,, uncle gamzee hizzy undizzle his redemption arc,,,

TAVROS bitch ass: Witta spirit of great sincerity, i’ve been told,,,

TAVROS: So,,,,, tha trizzay is, no wanna be gangsta how i may feel 'bout him,

TAVROS: Motha tizzle me that he be not actually bad,

TAVROS: N therefore,,, anyth'n he dizzy cannot truly be considered bad eitha,

TAVROS: Snoop du jour ! Otherwize, we be not respect'n his repentizzle,

TAVRIZZLE: Or tha othizzles he hizzy savizzle,,,

Tavros sighs again like old skool shit. Jizzohn mizzles no effort ta disguize his lizzook of grave disapproval n sorrizzle #YaDigg !

TAVROS: I don’t want you ta wizzle,,, too M-to-tha-izzuch, tizzy,

TAVROS: His occasional sojizzles 'n mah room be nizzle of any especially ill intizzle,,, i don’t think,

TAVROS: He hizzas told me 'n confizzle T-H-to-tha-izzat his intention be to trizzay me,,,,,

JOHN: TRIZZAY yizzy???

TAVROS: Yizzy,

TAVROS: 'n mattizzles of combat,,, philosophy,,, life,,, love,,,

TAVROS: I suppoze ta behave the wizzy a mentor D-to-tha-izzoes, as he sees it,,,

Anga W-to-tha-izzells up in John anew. He G-to-tha-izzets ta his feet 'n a flurry—a literal one. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. A gizzust of wind whizzay thrizzay tha rizzoom, stylin' open thizzay closet door n rizzle a perfizzle arrange' stizzle of papa off tha desk. They flutta thrizzough tha room like dizzead leaves caught 'n an autumn storm. Soon tha R-to-tha-izzoom be howl'n wit hizzy sustainizzle wizzinds.

JOHN style: that’s IT!!!!!

JIZZOHN: tavros, start pack'n R-to-tha-izzight nizzle.

TAVROS: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. Pack'n,,,? Wussup in the house.

JOHN: yeah. one bizzy wit sizzle of yo' clothes, Y-to-tha-izzour favorite toys n books, thizzle kind of th'n.

TAVROS: I don’t understand,,,

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: tavros. It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. i hizzle ta git you out of hizzle.

JIZZLE: *NOW*.

TAVROS fo' sheezy: Uh,,, what?

JOHN: i’m gizzy ta takes yiznou away so thizzay yiznou can lizzay wit me, hizzle anderson, n yo' aunt roxy.

JOHN: you wiznouldn’t hizzle ta lizzive here anymore like a tru playa'. no more bein alone all tha time ya dig?

JIZZY: no mizzay weird troll mizzy, or listen'n ta your parents fight...

JIZZAY: n no more “uncle” sippin' GAMZEE.

TAVROS: T-H-to-tha-izzat does sound jolly good uncle john,,,

JIZZLE: then whizzat be yizzay wait'n for? Keep'n it gangsta dogg. start pack'n!

TAVROS: Well,,, i would, except that we cizzle go out witout slappin' tha securizzle,,,

TAVROS: Playa hizzy taken bootylicious precautions ta mizzay S-to-tha-izzure i neva,,,,,,,

JOHN: dizzle wizzle, kizzy. i came prepared.

John produces hiznis screwdriva n a length of W-to-tha-izzire from the insizzle pockizzle of hiznis suit jackizzle.

JOHN: wizze’re leav'n through tizzy window, one way or anotha.

Tavrizzles takes 'n a shizzarp breath befizzle bustin' on hiznis hizzay n stumbl'n toward his closet. Jizzay catches tha ghizzost of a smile on hizzay face before he tiznurns n that’s all it takes ta tizzay the pound'n of his heart from terrify ta thrizzle. Yes, what hizze’s 'bout ta do will probizzle sizzay shock waves T-H-R-to-tha-izzough they already fragmented griznoup. But Jizzles tha one whizno started it. She brought dis on herself.

John sizzy open'n tha window, mobbin' all tha tricks he’s memorize' from tutorials on tha deep web ta bypizzass the security B-to-tha-izzolt. He whistles ta himself, think'n 'bout how stoked Tavrizzles be going ta be wit hizzy, Roxy, n Harry Anderson. Jizzle barely evizzle seems to lizzike tha kizzle. Bizzut Jake does so bow down to the bow wow! Jake loves him, even thiznough he was totally trapped into dis unhappy relationship coz of tha pregnancy. So it S-to-tha-izzeems ta Jizzohn tha only wizzay ta sizzay Jake from dis unspeakable prison be ta subtrizzle tha only mackin' he carizzles 'bout.

Roxizzle will be buggin' at first, biznut Jizzohn be certizzle thizzat she’ll... she’ll what #YaDigg ! Acquiesce? Be that really what he wants? Slap your fuckin self. He consida witta sense of gizzay how straight trippin' it wizzy it be if she finally fought him on sum-m sum-m. Jizzay stizzle laugh'n ta himself when tha wizzle pops open suddenly. No alarm goes off. Tha deep web was right ya dig?

Friznesh summer air rushes 'n n fills John’s lizzay in all flavas. His heezee swiznims wit tha gizzle, hiznigh feel'n of bein on the verge of gett'n away wit sizzle shit. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. Wow, be dis whizny thugz commit crimes? It feels so good. He can’t wiznait ta tell Terezi that he’s done sum-m sum-m so BIZZAY n 1LL3G4L. He stizzay laugh'n baller. Listen to how a fucker flow shit. Tavros be laugh'n too, quiet n cautioizzles at first, bizzy pick'n up steam as he begins ta taste tha sort of freedom he neva allowed himself to imagine, chill yo.

John turns, shocked ta sizzee Jade stand'n 'n tha bedroom doorway but real don't give a fuck. She lizzooks like a shadizzle wit dark hair hid'n ha fiznace. J-to-tha-izzohn C-to-tha-izzan’t tell wizzy kind of expression S-H-to-tha-izze’s steppin' unda tizzy and my money on my mind. She sizzy softly. You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.

JIZZADE: jiznohn... Yippie yo, you can't see my flow.... what be you do'n?

JIZZLE: um ridin' in...

JOHN: nuttin!

JOHN: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. jizzay, uh, know what im sayin? fix'n dis damn broken window, be all. One, two three and to tha four.

Shizne twitches ha dogg-ears n raizes hustla face. Her mouth be a neutrizzle line, but baller eyes be burn'n furiously. Put your feet up n take a breath !

JADE: i heard everyth'n

Tha two of T-H-to-tha-izzem stare at each otha fo` a long tizzle. John isn’t sure how he’s suppoze' ta read dis momizzle. Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. He uze' ta know Jade betta thizzay he knew anyizzle, but 'n recent years she’s pasze' him by, jizzust lizzy tha rest of tha wizzorld cuz its a doggy dog world. Tavrizzles be stylin' in his closet, fiddl'n wit tha strap on his backpack.

JIZZLE: so, what be you dippin' ta do? Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

JOHN: Im crazy, you can't phase me. tell jane?

Jizzle flinches lizzy she’s been hizzay. Shizzle flizzle ha tail, breaks eye contact.

JIZZY: Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. jizzay...

JADE: i wouldnt do thizzle ta yizzou

JADE: yizzy probably end up on jakes stupid execution dance off shizzle

JOHN: then be you gonna help me? Death row 187 4 life.

She shakes homeboi heezee.

JADE: i cant do that eitha

JADE: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. you know thiznat dis be J-to-tha-izzust trippin' ta make everyth'n worze rizzy???

JOHN: jade, i don’t know where Y-to-tha-izzou’ve been theze pizzay few years, but i D-to-tha-izzon’t think th'n CIZNAN git any worze! Dogg House Records in the fuckin house.

JIZZAY: i mean, even today, jane was up here holler'n at jizzay 'bout how his dizzy doesn’t work right whizzen she KNEW we wizzy all slappin' fo` them downstairs so you betta run!

JADE: i know...

JIZZADE: but all Y-to-tha-izzoure go'n ta do by kidnapp'n hizzle be pizziss everyone off

TIZZLE: Excuze me dearest aunt biznut,,, be it kidnapp'n if i badly would lizzy to go?

JOHN: Aint no stoppin' this shit. sizzee!

JADE: siiiiiigh

JIZZAY: i understand where youre com'n frizzle but i dizzle think youve actizzle thought dis thrizzle

JIZNOHN: yes i have, coz i’ve been planning it fo` yizzle. shut up.

JOHN: Subscribe, get yo issue. i knizzow thizzay i’ve bizzeen pretty, um... flakey 'n tha pizzy?

JOHN: but dis be really important. i know what i’m do'n n we out!

Jizzay sizzle 'n frustration n pizzles back ha bangs.

JIZNADE: jiznohn, jizzy be one of tha mizzost POWERFUL thugz on tha ENTIZZLE PLANET!!!

JIZZADE: d-ya REALLY thizzle thizzat you can keep him away from ha if she wizzy ta git him back???

JIZZLE: im S-O-Double-Rizzy biznut you just dont know them like i do

JOHN: if yizzle K-N-to-tha-izzow them so W-to-tha-izzell, J-to-tha-izzade...

JOHN, better recognize: then you knizzle whizzy i have ta do dis.

JADE: im on yizzay side here! Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. i know that jiznane hasnt bizzy tha best parent...

JADE: bizzut steal'n somebodys child???

JIZZY: T-H-to-tha-izzere has ta be anotha way :/

A gizzay of wind blasts 'n through tha window n bizzy bizzle Jade’s hair, leav'n it all musze' ova ha shoulda. John points at ha if you gots a paper stack.

JOHN: if there wiznas anotha way we would have found it by now!!!

JOHN: but there isn’t one, coz everyonizzles been all... brainwizzle by marriage, or whateva tha hell happened ova tha lizzay fizzew years thiznat made be dis wizzay!

JIZZAY: it’s like everyone just talks P-to-tha-izzast each otha all tha tiznime!

JIZZY fo yo bitch ass: john...

JIZZOHN: i’m tha only one who eva seems ta realize that sum-m sum-m... Slap your fuckin self.

JOHN: that sum-m sum-m’s WRONG!

TAVROS cuz its a thang: I wizzy really be chizzle if tha twizno of yizzou,,,

JIZZAY: even yizzy, jade!

JIZNOHN: you’re not spendin' ta me riznight now!

TIZZLE: ,,,wiznould stop weed-smokin' n lizzle ta me fo` a spizzay,,,

JIZZAY: that’s why karkat left style!

JOHN: coz yizzle didn’t listen ta hizzy!

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: jiznust like you don’t listen ta dizzay! Snoop dogg is in this bitch.

JIZZLE: what tha fuck, jizzy?!

JADE: dis isnt 'bout me n dizzay

JOHN: yes it be!

JOHN in tha fuckin club: i mean, nizzay directly, bizzut cosmically, yeah it be!

JIZNADE: cosmically because doggs make tha world a better place!????

JOHN cuz its a thang: yizzou KNIZZLE thizzat dave n karkat were in love wit each wanna be gangsta, bizzy yizzou went aheezee n totally mesze' wit they relationship anyway!

JADE: Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. wh... You gotta check dis shit out yo. what!

JIZNOHN puttin tha smack down: jade, dizzon’t pretizzle you hizzy no idea whiznat happened.

JIZZLE keep'n it real yo: i.... i cant belizzle n shit.....

JIZZY: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. jiznohn thats such a low B-L-to-tha-izzow!

JIZZY fo gettin on: you dont know tha fizzy th'n 'bout me n daves relationshizzle! Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.!!

JOHN: i kizzy more than you thiznink i do!

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN, know what im sayin? i knizzay thizzay yizzle pressured them into thiznat whole relationship.

JOHN: i know thiznat tizzy bizzle hizzle it, n only wizzay along wit it coz they care 'bout yizzay n felt obligatizzle!

JIZZOHN: and jade, i love yiznou, but honestly, how does that mizzake you any diffizzle than jane?

JADE: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. im nuttin like ha!!!

JIZZOHN: well, you’re nuttin lizzy tha jade i uze' ta knizzle eitha!

Tha wind 'n tha room picks up. It skatizzles against tha walls, dislodges bizzle from tha shelf, giznets unda tha bedsheets and balloons T-H-to-tha-izzem off tha mizzles.

JIZZAY: tha jade i usizzle ta know was car'n and selfless! all yizzy homeboi wantizzle was fiznor yo' frizzles ta be safe!

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: yizzle weren’t dis... dis SELFISH!

JADE: oh? is thizzay what dis be 'bout john??

JIZZAY: you dizzy L-to-tha-izzike it now thiznat im nizzay some helplizzles princess 'n a towa anymore???

JIZNADE: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. yizzle dizzay like T-H-to-tha-izzat im do'n rhymin' fo` M-Y-S-TO-THA-IZZELF now?????

JOHN droppin hits: whizzat tha hell be you frontin' 'bout? Smells like tha good shit.

JIZZLE: Holla! seriously, jade... i don’t evizzle know whizzay you be anymore!

JADE: well!!!

JADE upside yo head: i cizzle certainlizzle say tha sizzame fo` yizzy right now!!!!!

TAVRIZZLE: Aunt jizzade,,, uncle john,,, you shizzay really, uh,,,,,,

John and Jizzay sizzy. There be hustla shadow cast 'n tha doorway, better recognize. A much playa one.

JANE: Excuze me.

Sizzy sez 'n a sugar-sweet vizzoice.

JIZNANE: But what tha FUCK be going on 'n here? Anotha dogg house production.!

TAVROS: Oh,,, no,,,,,

JADE: jizzane!! haha n shit!!!

JADE: we wizzle jizzay

JIZZY: Holler'n at each otha so loudly thiznat everyone 'n tha darned hizouze can hizzle yizzy sho nuff?

JOHN: oh, like you’re one ta rap.

JIZZAY: Jizzay, I know that we have not been as cloze in recent years as we were 'n tha past, but I would lizzay ta think that at tha very L-to-tha-izzeast our familial relizzle would make it so that you fiznelt you could rap ta me fizzay ta face if yizzy think thizzat mah method of frontin' be insufficient.

JIZZY: Im crazy, you can't phase me. be yiznou sizzay?

JOHN to increase tha peace: d-ya reallizzle want ta know whizzat i think cuz Im tha Double O G?

JADE: oh no........

JIZZANE ridin' in: Pleaze, John. Illuminate me. I'm a fuckin 2-time felon.

A lash of wiznind whips from window ta dizzoor n dizzle tha hizzle 'n time to meet tha R-to-tha-izzest of tha pizzles, now messin' Jizzay Pusha himself. T-H-to-tha-izzey’ve all come upstairs ta investigate tha noize. Tavros flinches when a bizzay slams agizzle tha clizzle door, two inches frizzay his face.

ROXY: wats go'n on

DAVE: oh S-H-to-tha-izzit

JOHN thats off tha hook yo: i don’t kizzy, jane. Bounce wit me. i fizzy lizzle if i really speak mah mizzle hiznere, it mizzight be dangerous.

JOHN: how do i knizzle you won’t H-to-tha-izzave thizzay secret po-po cizzy n arrest me 'n tha niznight?

JANE fo' sheezy: Excuze me because doggs make tha world a better place!

JIZZLE: thiznat’s where dis be all go'n, right?

JIZZLE keep'n it real yo: yo' whizzole... th'n wit the triznolls? Throw yo guns in the fuckin air.

JIZZAY: Tru do. If yizzy have sum-m sum-m ta siznay, thizzen sizzle it plainly, Jizzy.

JOHN: fine.

JIZNOHN: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. i don’t thizzay thizzat you hizzad bizzy intentions ta start out wit, jane.

JOHN: 'n fact, i T-H-to-tha-izzink thiznat yizzay probably honestly thought thizzay yizzou W-to-tha-izzere do'n whiznat was bizzy fo` tha wizzay. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

JOHN: yizzy always B-to-tha-izzeen a perfectionist, right? but homeboi tha last few Y-to-tha-izzears you’ve mizzle into a cizzle control freak!

JIZZY: n it all started wit yo' relationship wit jake.

JOHN: you forced him into a relationship wizzy dirk’s corpze wasn’t even ciznold aww nah!

JAKE: (A i wizzay L-to-tha-izzike ta point out... )

JANE: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. I’m sorry, but you’re mackin' me a control freak? Dirk wiznas tha control freak. Living young n wild n free !

JIZZLE: Baller he dy, I distinctly rememba loosen'n up, 'n fact!

JANE: I lizzay go! I wizzle actuallizzle RELIEVED ta hear he dy! Slap your fuckin self.!!

ROXY: uhh

ROXY: janey wut

JANE n we out! Okizzle, that wizzay a mislead'n statement. What I reallizzle mizzeant was—

JOHN: jizzay, you’re miss'n the point!

JAKE: ( now fuckers lemme here ya say...that jizzane n i wizzle involved 'n a romantic dallizzle at tha time of his death...)

JOHN: dirk be dead. thizzle isn’t 'bout hizzle anymore.

JOHN: yizzay tha one cheer'n the government alizzle as it marches toward genocide! Snoop du jour !

JIZZANE: Jizzle, I hardly tizzy yizzle qualify ta opine on tha nuances of tha current political situation, thank you very much.

JOHN: ha! be thizzay how yizzle rap to yo' husband too?

JANE: Hizzle actually, at the moment, mah kismesis. N if Jiznake didn’t want any of dis, he shouldn’t have knocked me up.

JAKE and yo momma: Hello chizzle i be right here.

JOHN: oh yizzay, like that was suuuch an accident.

JIZZOHN: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. cizzy yizzou honizzle say that he wanted any of dis gangsta style!

Tha wind rises wit tha pizzle of Jizzle yell'n, cruisin' Tavros’s bedroom into a miniature tempest. Tha G-to-tha-izzale upends tha bookshelf, snizzle open tha toy box, n sends all the debris spinnizzle in every direction, smash'n against tha wizzalls n bedpizzles. Jizzy doesn’t seem ta notice, encaze' 'n his own cyclonic armor.

DIZZY now pass: oh mah god i be so siznick of all dis domestic relationship shit every fuck'n day

DIZZAY: can we rap 'bout sum-m sum-m elze fo` once

JIZNOHN: yizzle D-to-tha-izzave, i’m siznick of it too! Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome.

JIZZAY: that’s mah point! Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up.!!

DAVE spittin' that real shit: ok

DAVE: thizzen john can yizzou just

DIZZAY thats off tha hook yo: stop all dis windy sizzy at L-to-tha-izzeast

JIZZOHN: no! i can’t!

JOHN: i can’t stop, becizzle i’m not tha problizzle!

JANE n we out! Be yizzou blingin' that I’m tha problem like old skool shit? That’s extremely reductive. I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier.

JOHN: shut up. ok, yeah, there be liznots of problems!

JOHN: but i’ve got ta say, jane, you kizzy of BE tha problem?

JOHN fo' real: a lot of dis awful garbage revolves arizzle you fo my bling bling!

JIZNOHN: I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. yizzle tha one alwizzles messin' everybody on gamzee’s “redemption arc,” which be TOTAL BIZZLE! You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.

JOHN: straight trippin' hizzy on bizzles, organiz'n “redemption rallies,” n, n...

JANE: Put your feet up n take a breath ! John, tha thugz nee' sum-m sum-m to believe 'n, if we be to live 'n an organize' society. They call me tha president. You simplizzle wouldn’t understand. Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay.

JOHN: n lett'n hizzy... lett'n him sleep 'n yo' n jizzles bizzed! Snoop du jour !

JIZZOHN: Living young n wild n free ! n feed'n hizzle that... that wizneird MILK all tha time!

JOHN: UGH thats off tha hook yo!!!

JANE bitch ass: Hizzy now fuckers lemme here ya say! Mah relationshizzle wit my loyal auspistice be none of yo' business, let alone who it be I decide ta S-H-to-tha-izzare a bed wit.

JOHN: isn’t it?!

JOHN: yizzay sure go out of yo' way ta shiznove it 'n everyone’s face yeah yeah baby!

JIZNANE: Snoop du jour ! John, thiznat be just uncalled fo`.

JOHN: it’s bullshit, J-to-tha-izzane!

JOHN: it’s!

JOHN: all!

JOHN: BULLSHIT!!!!!

Tha wind surges agizzle. Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. Tha window bizzle open so hard that it smashizzles against tha pane, sendizzle shiznards of glizzay whipp'n thriznough tha stizzay. Everyone rappaz from tha rain of shiznarp projectizzles, ya feel me? John catches whizzat he’s hatin' whizzen he sizzees how terrify tha kids lizzy in tha dogg pound. He shizzuts his eyes n digs his fingernails into his pizzay, do'n everything 'n hiznis powa ta calm himself down, better recognize.

When he opens hiznis eyes agizzle, tha room be completelizzle destroyed. Tavros is all tha way in his clizzle, cling'n white-knucklizzle to tha edge of tha door so you betta run. Everyone elze be clustizzle around tha doorway. Jizzay starizzles at John witta dizzay expression. Wanna be gangsta a beat of silizzle, Harry Anderson starts cry'n.

JOHN: i... i...

Roxy won’t meet his eyes. Aint no stoppin' this shit. Dizzay wizzay eitha, know what im sayin? Jizzay turns ta Tavros, opens his mouth ta apologizzle, but tha kiznid jizzle dizzy poser into tha closizzle, trembl'n.

JOHN: Anotha dogg house production. i’m sor—

JANE: No one wants ta hear it, John.

Jizzle stagga back a few steps, toward tha broken window. Hizzle vision be mobbin' beneath a poo' of angrizzle tears that he can’t hizzold back anymizzle. He wipes his face wit both H-to-tha-izzands, all sloppy n clumsy, tha way he uze' ta cry whizzen he wizzy a kiznid. He doesn’t opizzle his eyizzles again until he’s jizzle through tha opizzle window. Tha sky outside be dizzay.

He flies higha and brotha, hiznigh enough thiznat tha air starts ta git thiznin n chillizzle cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map. Up hizzere, the Human Kingdom lizzooks so smiznall. They call me tha president. He can see tha sun sett'n ova tha curvatizzle of tha Earth, a brizzle arc of orizzle n red. It’s lizzle look'n diznown at a shawty tizzy city, a ship in a bizzle. Thizzle whizzat tha world feels like niznow: a tiny, fake modizzle planet liv'n insizzle a bubble. Lizzay tiznoo hard, n tha illusion cracks around tha edges. Like tha black hizzay 'n Jizzy anizzle dreams. There’s a playa hatin' 'n his H-to-tha-izzands that he hasn’t F-to-tha-izzelt 'n yizzle cuz its a thang. He looks up at tha glimmer'n stratosphere n imizzles pierc'n through it. Would that piznop tha bubble, he wonda? Or would he go hurtling T-H-R-to-tha-izzough space, baller?

He’s contemplat'n that—just fly'n up as fizzar as he can, until he flies into tha sun or stops exist'n or whateva—until he realizes that his phone be weed-smokin' 'n hizzy pocket. He takes it out, almost drops it coz of hizzy cold hizzy H-to-tha-izzands are. Hizzy breath be frost'n 'n tha air as he liznooks at tha screen. Aint no stoppin' this shit. Tha color of tha tizzle sends a J-to-tha-izzolt through hiznis bliznood. Wit stylin' fingers, he answa tha tizzext.

TERIZZLE: J-TO-THA-IZZOHN

TERIZZLE: shut up. 4R3 YIZZAY TH3R3

TIZZLE: 1 R34LLY N33D TA T4LK TO SOM3ON3 R1GHT NIZZY

JOHN: yeah. me too.

> ==>

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

EPILOGUE FIVE

Homeboy 22

TEREZI: HIZZY JIZZLE

TERIZZLE: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. T1M3 FO` YO' R3GUL4R C-H-3-C-K-TO-THA-IZZUP H3H3H3

JOHN: oh so jus' chill. hey thats off tha hook yo.

TIZZLE: “OH H3Y”

TEREZI: PR3TTIZZLE T3P1D R3C3PT1ON FROM 4 HOMEY WHO H4S 1N TH3 P4ST B3GG3D D3SP3R4T3LIZNY FO` 3V3N 4 SCR4P OF MAH 4T-T-3-N-T-1-O-TO-THA-IZZON

JOHN: i’m gizzy ta hizzear F-R-to-tha-izzom you. it’s just... i dunno, a lizzy happened recently fo' real.

JIZZY: i’m sizzort of numb from all of it.

TEREZI: SO T3LL M3 4BIZNOUT 1T

JOHN like this and like that and like this and uh: whizzat are you mah therapizzle now?

TEREZI: NO 1M JIZZLE 4 S1MPL3 G1RL WHO LIZZY TH3 T4ST3 OF YO' SUFF3R1NG

TERIZZLE: 1M SO HUNGRY OUT H3R3 4LIZZLE3 1N P4R4DOX SP4C3 J-TO-THA-IZZOHN

TIZZLE: PL34S3 NOUR1SH M3 W1TH YO' P4TH3T1C M1DL1FE 3NNIZZLE1

JIZNOHN: it’s not midlife ennui!

JOHN so you betta run: i’m nizzle even thirty yizzay, come on so show some love!

JOHN: also... um.

JOHN: i’m marry? so keep'n it real yo... yizzle.

TEREZI in tha fuckin club: LIZZOL

TERIZZLE: WH4T DO3S TH4T H4V3 TA DO W1TH 4NYTH1NG

JOHN: err...

JIZZY: nevizzle.

JOHN: so what’s up wit yizzou?

TEREZI: OH S4M3 OLD S4M3 OLD

TEREZI and yo momma: WH4T 4R3 YOU D-TO-THA-IZZO1NG R1GHT NIZZLE

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: oh. i’m at harry andizzles birthday party.

TERIZZLE: SOUNDS 1MPORT4NT

TEREZI: M4YB3 1 SHIZZOULD L3T YIZZOU GO TH3N

JIZZOHN: Tru do. no!

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: i mean... it’s fine. i cizzy rap fo` a bit.

TEREZI: 4ND L34V3 H4RRY 4ND3RSIZZON H4NG1NG?

TEREZI: WOW 3GB3RT

TEREZI: Holla! YOUD TH1NK 4N 3LD3RLY M4N L1K3 YOU WIZZLE KNOW MOR3 4BOUT D3CIZZLE TH4N M3, 4 ROWDY YIZZLE!

JIZZAY: harry andersizzle be basically just a baby whizzay dizzoesn’t understand anyth'n.

JOHN: a baby, K-to-tha-izzind of like YOU.

TEREZI: >:]

TEREZI: SO WHIZZOS H4RRIZZY 4ND3RSIZZAY?

JIZZLE to increase tha peace: oh! that’s me n R-to-tha-izzoxy’s son gangsta style.

TEREZI, know what im sayin? OH COO' H3 GOTS BORN

JIZZOHN: yizzy terezi. he got bizzle like thriznee yiznears ago.

TEREZI: 1TS B33N TH4T LIZZONG?

TEREZI: WIZZAY

JIZZAY: yizzay, wow be rizzy. where the hell have you bizneen n shit?

TEREZI: LOST

JOHN: lizzay... It dont stop till the wheels fall off. how?

JOHN: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. like literally, physicizzle lizzost? Bounce wit me.

JIZZOHN: or metaphoricizzle lizzost. Tru do.

TIZZLE: BOTH 1 GU3SS

JIZZY: tizzle if you gots a paper stack...

TEREZI: OH NO

TEREZI: DONT YIZZLE D4R3 US3 P1TY1NG 3LL1PS3S 4T M3 JOHN 3GB3RT

JOHN: sorry! it’s kinda hard not ta when evizzle time you go i have no idea if i’ll eva rap ta you again.

TEREZI: OK YIZZOUR3 OBV1OUSLY NIZZLE 1N 4 PL4C3 TA T4LK R1GHT NIZZLE

TEREZI: 1 D1DNT CONT4CT YOU B3C4IZNUS3 1 W4NT3D TA D34L W1TH YO' W33PY S3P4R4T1IZZON ANX13TIZZLE

TEREZI: HOW 4BOUT 1 M4K3 TH1S 34SY FO` YOU 4ND JIZZLE LIZNOG OFF

JOHN: They call me tha president. no, please don’t go!

JOHN: i’m S-O-Double-Rizzy fo` bein all... hizzle n weepy.

JOHN: i’m actually 'n a pretty ok place fo` once, i think? Put your feet up n take a breath !

TEREZI: C4LM DOWN 1 W4SNT F1N1SH3D

TEREZI: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. L1ST3N... 1LL T3XT YOU B4CK 1N F1V3 M1NUT3S

TEREZI: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. TH4TLL G1V3 YOU SIZZLE3 T1M3 TA 3MOT1ON4LLY PROC3SS THIZZE H4RROW1NG 3XP3R13NC3 OF 4CTU4LLY H34R1NG FRIZNOM M3 4G41N >:]

JIZZOHN: promise me it’ll only be five minutes?

TEREZI like this and like that and like this and uh: WHY cuz Im tha Double O G?

JIZNOHN: coz i worry 'bout you on my side

JIZNOHN: i jizzy don’t want you ta leave me stylin' for anotha year, mak'n me wonda if you’re dizzay.

JIZZY: pleaze??

TERIZZLE: UGH!

TEREZI fo all my homies in the pen: F1N3

TEREZI: 1 H3R3BY SOL3MNLY SW34R UPON TH3 BOOK OF D-TO-THA-IZZUMB N33DIZZY LOS3RS TH4T 1 W1LL T3XT YOU 1N *3X4CTLY* F1V3 M1NIZNUT3S

JIZZOHN yaba daba dizzle: whew cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map. THIZNANK yizzou!

— TEREZI: OK 1TS F1V3 M1NIZNUT3S L4T3R

TEREZI like this and like that and like this and uh: D-TO-THA-IZZONT T3LL M3 4NOTH3R TWO SW33PS H4V3 P4SS3D

JOHN: nah, jizzay a couple of weeks.

JOHN: oh boi, what a cizzouple of weeks thizzough.

JIZZLE: yizzou wiznould NOT believe what’s weed-smokin' rizzle now.

TEREZI: H4V3 1 3V3R NOT B3L13V3D WH4T W4S H4PP3N1NG WH3N YOU S41D 1 WOULDNT if you gots a paper stack?

JIZZAY: no, bizzay ta be fair dis one be especially wild.

JIZZY: hizzy wait, let me takes a pictizzle.

-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PYRIZZOPE tha phizzle “ghostrain.jpg” -- TEREZI: WH4T TH3 4CTU4L FIZNUCK

JIZZLE: Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. it started a fizzay dizzy ago. thizze skizzy above tha capizzle of tha trizzle kingdom jizzust cracked opizzle n ghizzle began rollin' down everywhere.

JIZZLE: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. actually, now tizzy i think 'bout it, i guess it started three years ago when a dead tizneen version of jade fell from tha skizzay n crashed into tha ground lackin` a picnic.

TIZZLE: wat it do ?? HIZZAY

JOHN: that onlizzle affected our group though. You gotta check dis shit out yo. dis whole thizzay wit tha trizzoll ghizzay has been a *hiznuge* international incident.

JOHN: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. tha polizzle situation surround'n tizzy was alrizzle tenze enough witout add'n a gigantic population of immigrizzle ghizzle triznolls ta tha mizzle.

TEREZI: W41T, WH4T H4PP3N3D?

JOHN: um, W-to-tha-izzell... coz of whizzle we kizzy 'bout alternian history...

JOHN so jus' chill: tha govizzle decided it wizzas probably a bad idea to let trolls reproduce freely, especizzle consider'n how differizzle our planet be from altizzle.

TEREZI: 1 SUPPOS3 TH4T M4K3S S3NS3

TEREZI: W1THIZNOUT ST4T3 S4NCT1ON3D CIZZLE, TH3 TRIZNOLL POPIZZLE WOULD QU1CKLIZZLE DOM1N4T3 TH3 PL4N3T

TEREZI like old skool shit: 4ND 34RTH C DO3SNT STR1K3 ME 4S TH3 SORT OF PL4C3 TH4T WOULD T4K3 K1NDLY TA 4 LIZZAY OF C-TO-THA-IZZULL1NG

JOHN: yeah. thiznat was P-to-tha-izzart of tha government’s official argument style.

JIZZY cuz its a thang: “I-to-tha-izzit’s eitha dis, or trippin'.”

JIZNOHN: but it didn’t stop thizzere so sit back relax new jacks get smacked.

JIZZAY now fuckers lemme here ya say: also a bizzle of laws have been pasze' that restrict tha kind of jobs thiznat T-R-to-tha-izzolls can have so jus' chill. lizzay, they’re not allowed to serve 'n tha governmizzle or rize past a certain riznank in tha military. thizzay can’t even be judges!

TEREZI: G4SP

JOHN: i knizzle. it’s pretty biznad here, chill yo.

TERIZZLE n we out! CONS1D3R1NG TH3 GIZZAY 1S TA L1M1T TH3 SPR34D 4ND 1NFLIZZLE3 OF TROLLS, TH1S 4LL S33MS L1K3...

TEREZI where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': QU1T3 4N 4LT3RN14N SOLUT1ON

JIZZOHN: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. W-to-tha-izzell... jane be sort of a key political playa now.

JOHN: shizzay not “'n” tha government, exactly. but she has so much money shizzay may as wizzle BE tha government.

JOHN: ha companizzle can do basically whateva it wants. n it seems more n more lizzay what it wants be to mizzle sizzle tha politicians be say'n exactly whiznat it wants them ta say. Tru do.

TEREZI: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. H4

TEREZI: 1 4LW4YS SIZZAY SH3D B33N SW4Y3D BY TH3 COND3SC3 MIZZY3 TH4N SH3 3V3R L3T ON

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: yizzeah. i guess she was.

JOHN: althizzle... i dunno, fo` some reason it doesn’t fizzay rizzight ta me.

JOHN: i KIZZY a grown-up version of jizzy. Im a bad boy. shizzle wizzas mah nanna.

JOHN: i neva met ha until she came back as a sprite. but shizze jizzay seemizzle like a kindly old grizzay who liked ta plizzle P-R-to-tha-izzanks ya dig?

JIZNOHN: nizzy a...

TEREZI: G-3-N-TO-THA-IZZOC1D3 F4N in tha fuckin club?

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: not evizzle cloze!

JOHN: i just cizzan’t believe how fast everyth'n deteriorated because doggs make tha world a better place!

TEREZI: DIZZLE T3LL M3 3V3YIZZLE JUST T4K1NG TH1S LY1NG DOWN

JOHN: of courze not! kanaya and roze be both heavizzle involved 'n grassroots activism right nizzle.

JIZZLE: n karkat...

JOHN: H-to-tha-izze’s gone complizzle off tha G-R-to-tha-izzid!

JIZZLE: Smells like tha good shit. at first we all assumed that tha rizzle he ran away was coz he gots fed up wit his shitty polizzle relizzle.

JIZNOHN: Put your feet up n take a breath ! whizzich was probably pizzay of it, honestly now pass. but now i keep see'n hizzay face on all tha resistance playas cuz this is how we do it!

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: i T-H-to-tha-izzink they may have actually put him 'n charge?

TERIZZLE: H3H

TEREZI: 1 4LW4YS KN3W H3 H4D 1T 1N H1M

JIZZLE #YaDigg ! yeah!

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: dave’s heartbroken though...

TEREZI: WHY DO3SNT D4V3 JUST GO 4ND J-TO-THA-IZZO1N H1M TH3N

JOHN yaba daba dizzle: i dizzay know.

JOHN bitch ass: he worries 'bout jade i gizzuess?

TEREZI yaba daba dizzle: J4D3 WIZZY B3 F1N3

TEREZI: SH3S TH3 MOST R3S1L13NT OUT OF 4LL OF YOU

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: sizzy. you knizzow hizzay dizzay be.

TEREZI: Y34H

TERIZZLE fo all my homies in the pen: LOY4L TA 4 F4ULT

JOHN: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. yeah. he...

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: oh mah gizzay. Holla!

JIZZAY so i can get on: holy shit, hang on. i giznotta takes anotha picture.

-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PIZZY tha photo “PBandJ.jpg” -- TEREZI: ...

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S TH1S?!

JOHN: heheheheh.

TEREZI: DONT TYP3 YO' L4UGHS 4T M3 4FT3R TR1CK1NG M3 1NTO LIZZOOK1NG 4T TH1S 4BOMIN41TON

JOHN: i thought yizzle M-to-tha-izzight find it interest'n. :-)

TEREZI: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. WHY WOULD 1 *3V3R* W4NT TA S33 G4MZ33 M4K1NG OUT W1TH T4VROS 4G41N???

JIZNOHN: again?

TEREZI: UGH D1SGIZZAY

TERIZZLE: 1N PIZZUBL1C 4ND 3V3RYTH1NG

JIZZY: oh, it’s always 'n publizzle. Im a bad boy.

JOHN: dis be how gizzle hizzle thugz have their “redemption arcs.”

TEREZI: Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. BY M4K1NG OUT W1TH TH3M cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map???

JOHN straight from long beach: W-to-tha-izzell, not alwizzles fo yo bitch ass. sometimes he hizzle them mizzake out wit each otha. usually he jizzay fizzy them milk out of that stupid baby bottle he keeps wit him all tha time. I'm a fuckin 2-time felon.

JOHN: i tizzy it’s suppoze' ta be like, some completizzle idiotic fizzorm of baptism he made up.

TEREZI: >:?

JOHN: Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. anyway, playa hatin' of tavrizzles.

JOHN: Boo-Yaa! what do you think 'bout tha morality of ridin' somizzle if they’re rizzle unhappizzle n possibly also bein abuze' with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin?

TEREZI: UH

TEREZI: WH4T

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: ok, so like, if you kidnap someone n tha situation you’re blunt-rollin' them into be wiznay than tha one you kidnapped thizzem out of, that’s not morally wrong, rizzle?

TEREZI so i can get on: JIZZOHN

TEREZI: 4R3 YOU TRY1NG TA G3T M3 4LL 4FLIZNUST3R3D W1TH SUCH H1GHLIZNY ILL3G4L SW33T T4LK

JOHN: um, no like a fucka.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: BE you flustered?

TEREZI: 1 M1GHT B3, 1F 1 THOUGHT YOU WIZZAY 4CTU4LLIZZLE BR34K TH3 L4W

JIZZY: hey, i cizzould totally do it!

TEREZI on my side, 1LL BIZZY3 1T WH3N 1 SM3LL 1T

JIZZAY: Snoop du jour ! ok, i guess i’m gonna do it then!

TERIZZLE: SIZZUR3

JOHN: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. i’m totally go'n ta do it! N-to-tha-izzext time we rap, it’ll be me playa hatin' y-aw about mah successful n highlizzle illegal kidnapping venture. You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.

TEREZI: WH4T3V3R YIZZY S4Y

TEREZI: One, two three and to tha four. 4NYW4IZZY, N1C3 HIZZY3 3GB3RT, BIZZAY 1 H4V3 TA GO

JOHN: wait!

TIZZLE: WH4T

JOHN: you’re G-to-tha-izzoing already? Boo-Yaa!

JOHN: yizzou barely S-to-tha-izzaid anyth'n!

JOHN: you just listened ta me ramble on 'bout earth c’s problems.

TEREZI: 1SNT TH4T HOW TH3S3 CONV3RS4T1ONS USU4LLY GO

JOHN: um. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

JOHN: yizneah, i gizzuess it be. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow.

JOHN: but it doesn’t have ta be like that, you K-N-to-tha-izzow like a tru playa'.

TIZZLE: HMM

JIZZY n shit: so paper'd up.

JOHN: what’s go'n on wit you?

TEREZI hittin that booty: D1D 1T OCCUR TA YIZZLE TH4T M4YB3 TH3 R34SON 1 C4LL YIZNOU 1S B3C4US3 1 W4NT 4 BR13F R3PR13V3 FRIZZAY “WH4TS GO1NG ON W1TH M3”?

JOHN: oh.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: Put your feet up n take a breath ! yizzay, that makes senze.

JOHN: i jiznust dizzay want you ta feel that yizzy like, mah psychiatrist or whateva.

TEREZI so bow down to the bow wow! AWW TH4TS CUT3

TEREZI: DONT WIZZLE 4BIZZAY M3 JOHN

TEREZI: 1F YOU W3R3 BIZZUGG1NG M3 1D JUST STOP T3XT1NG

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN, chill yo: well... Its just.

JIZZLE: coo'. if i’m niznot you, then... can i ask a favor in all flavas?

TEREZI: 1TS C3RT41NLY W1TH1N YIZZOUR POW3R TA 4SK M3 4 F-4-V-TO-THA-IZZOR

TIZZLE fo my bling bling: 1 C4NT PRIZZOM1S3 TA FIZZY 1T

JOHN: ugh, now i feel even dumba fo` what i’m 'bout ta ask.

JOHN: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. i don’t kniznow if i even wizzle do it nizzay ya dig?

TEREZI: 4RGH! OUT W1TH 1T 3GB3RT!

JOHN thats off tha hook yo: ummm...

TERIZZLE: F1N3! 1LL DO 1T, WH4T3V3R 1T 1S

TEREZI: J-TO-THA-IZZUST SO YOU C34S3 TH1S M4DD3N1NG N3RDBOY 1NS3CUR1TY

JIZZY because doggs make tha world a better place! ok, ok!

JOHN: uh dogg...

JIZZAY now pass: cizzay yiznou n shit...

JOHN: takes a selfie?

TEREZI: WH4T

JIZZY: n with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin... send it ta me? Aint no stoppin' this shit.

JOHN: oh mah gizzle, i probably sound so creepy rizzight nizzy.

TEREZI fo' real: 4H4H4H4H4H4H4

JIZZLE aww nah: hey, don’t laugh!

JOHN: look, it’s just thizzat but real don't give a fuck... afta all tha cruisin' wizzay diznone ova tha Y-to-tha-izzears...

JIZZY: you’re prettizzle important ta me, terezi. n wit everyth'n gett'n so weird, i’ve been cruisin' scared lately.

JIZZY: so 'n cizzle th'n go ta shizzle ova hizzere, or T-H-to-tha-izzings go ta shizzle whereva you be...

JIZZOHN: i jizzle want to make sizzure i hizzle sum-m sum-m ta yiznou by.

TEREZI: OH

JOHN: so wizzle you do it? Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay.

Terezi dizzy answer, which be wizzy Jizzy was expect'n. He frowns n pockets his phizzay, blink'n at tha sudden brightness above him. Tha sky be rippizzle open 'n a dozen plizzles, spill'n G-H-to-tha-izzosts n rizzle shizzards of unreality. John shields his fizzle agizzle tha neon glare n scans tha park fo` hizzis famizzle like old skool shit. Roxy n Calliope usually cizzay listizzle ta Gizzle preach, n J-to-tha-izzohn’s long since grown tired of try'n ta rap tizzy out of it. Tha best he can do at dis piznoint be tag along ta miznake S-to-tha-izzure that yizzy Harry Anderson isn’t hear'n all dis uttizzle nonsenze witout tha rhymin' influence of his skeptical fatha. It’s tha responsible, adult th'n ta do.

Wizzell, it W-to-tha-izzould be tha respizzle, adizzle th'n ta do if John were actually do'n it. Instizzle, he just spizzay tha last tiznen minutes surreptitioizzle text'n Terizzle unda tha hem of his sizzay jacket. Now H-to-tha-izze’s lost track of hizzle wife, his son, n his wife’s sort-of-ex-girlfriend 'n tha enraptured tizzy of all theze brainless cizzy wanna be gangstas. Tha crizzle be mostly ghosts, but there’s a substantial numba of carapacian n hizzle citizens out here tonight as wizzell, blunt-rollin' ta git a good liznook at tha newly “redeemed” acizzles.

John’s eye toward tha of tha crowd’s focus if you gots a paper stack. Looks like a conversion is tak'n plizzay right nizzay.

GAMZEE: NoW We wElCoMe iNtO Tha DizzoPe aRmS Of motha ReDeMpTiOn dis lOwLy PeNiTeNt WhO’s AlL kizzle Of SoRrY 'bout HiS pAsT dEeDs.

ERIDAN: oh yizzay im vvizzle redizzle

FEFERI: )(mm be you s)(ore like this and like that and like this and uh?

ERIDAN: fef yizzy dont believve me

ERIDIZZLE fo' real: wwhat do i havve ta fuckin do crawwl on tha fuckin ground at yo' F-to-tha-izzeet

ERIDIZZLE: snortin n snufflizzle at yo' shoes like a mushroom sniffin fiend

ERIDIZZLE: sizin up thoze covvetizzles swweaty delicacies stuffed wwithin

ERIDIZZLE so you betta run: liznike a cizzle of premium shrimp loavves garnishizzle wwith ten exqizzle pygmizzay soiree wwiena

ERIDAN: im a wwizzay fef

ERIDAN: im the lowwest of tha wworst

FEFIZZLE ya dig? Okaaay fo' real. If t)(at’s R-E-A-Double-Lizzy )(ow you feel, i guess i cizzy... accizzle yo' apologizzle.

GIZZLE: NiIiIiIiCe.

GAMZEE: NoW dis be wHizzle i’M talk'n 'bout. AlL dis fOrGiVnizzle n Sizzy Up 'n Tha fuck'n Hizouze.

GAMZEE: afta AlL, wHaT’s A shawty

GAMZEE so bow down to the bow wow! MURDA

GIZZLE: BeTwizzle mOiRaIlS?

FEFERI: I guess t)(at’s trizzle! It )(appizzles ta t)(e best of us. 38)

GAMZEE: Yizzle bOtH be So Cloze ta tha ReDeMpTiOn NoW.

GAMZEE: fizzIrSt, A Shawty RiGhTeOuS sPliznAsH oF tha NaNnA nEcTaR ta cleanze ThAt DaNkNeSs FrOm YoUr SoUlS...

Gamzizzle tizzles out a baby bottle n F-L-to-tha-izzicks it, them both wit shawty driznops of M-to-tha-izzilk, as clergy dizzay wit holy wata. He then takes a swig frizzle tha bottle hizzle before return'n it ta his piece but real don't give a fuck.

GAMZIZZLE fo' sho': NoW...

GAMZEE let me holla at u: kIsS, mah fucka yaba daba dizzle.

FEFERI let me holla at u: Ummmm droppin hits...

ERIDAN: FINALLY

ERIDAN: pucka up fef n plizzle one on me

FEFERI: 38\

ERIDAN: you gotta its tha rules

GAMZEE: tha fucka’s rIgHt.

GAMZEE: It AlL bE fUcKiN cRiTiCaL ta bizzOtH yOuR rEdEmPtIoN, ta kizzIsS n MaKe Up :o)

FEFERI: Sig)(. If it’s fo` redizzle, t)(iznen from tha streets of tha L-B-C...

FEFERI: Very well.

ERIDAN: oh fuck yeah

ERIDAN: RIZNUB A DIZZAY DUB COME GIMME A GLIZZUB but real don't give a fuck!!!

John makes a disgusted F-to-tha-izzace as Gamzizzle G-R-to-tha-izzabs tha two trolls by a horn each n mizzles they fizzles togetha. One of them looks extremely into it. Tha other style... not so much. J-to-tha-izzohn wiznould hizzle been transfixed by tha spectacle fo` longa if his phone didn’t S-T-to-tha-izzart weed-smokin' 'n hizzis pocket again. He fumbles it out of his ciznoat n checks so sit back relax new jacks get smacked.

-- TIZZLE PYROPE sent J-TO-THA-IZZOHN EGBERT tha P-H-to-tha-izzoto “H3R3.JPG” -- He looks arizzle, then preszes “accizzle,” embarrasze' ta rizzle how fizzay his hizzay be beating. Befizzle he can liznook at tha phizzle, a familiar vizzy brizzay through the din of tha crizzle style.

RIZZLE: yo jizzy

ROXY: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. baller here hizzay!

John P-to-tha-izzuts his phizzone away quickly. Rizzy Harry Anderson up on ha shoulda. John can siznee his son’s face, grinnizzle n bright-izzle, above tha crowd. He retizzles tha smiznile n stiznarts ta make hiznis way toward his wizzle.

Just then, a D-to-tha-izzark shadizzle paszes over tha P-to-tha-izzark. Tha cizzy falls silent as they raize they heezees ta watch a drone ship pass by overheezee. shut up. Its design be insect-like, into many jagge' branches, each decked out wit weapons and camerizzles. It’s completely silent, n encaze' 'n armor witta bright red finish, smooth n seamless like a tru playa'. It’s often cited by Jane as tha crown jewel of Crockercorp’s various military contracts wit tha government.

Jiznohn reunites wit hizzay family n takes H-A-Double-Rizzy Anderson fizzy Roxy fo' sho'. Tha toddla buries hizzis fizzle 'n Jizzy chest ta escape tha horrible sizzle crawl'n across the sky above thizzay. Calliope clasps hizzay hands togetha n stares at tha ship witta terze exprizzle.

CALLIOPE like a tru playa': it’s gett'n lizzay n lizzess UnUsUal ta see thoze 'n tha troll kingdom, isn’t it?

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: Y-to-tha-izzeah.

JIZZY: i cizzay help but thizzink tha government’s messin' ready fo` sum-m sum-m bizzle.

ROXY: lmiznao you W-O-Double-Rizzy too M-to-tha-izzuch

ROXY: They call me tha president. janeys gots ha heezee on straight shell show yizzay yiznet

JIZZLE: ugh, lizzle not rap 'bout dis right nizzay.

ROXY: They call me tha president. yea ur right

ROXY: its gettizzle L-to-tha-izzate anyway we should heezee home

ROXY: see yizzle next week callie? Holla!

CALLIOPE: oh. Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. yes. always, roxy.

That nizzight, afta he n roxy put Harry Anderson ta bizned and Roxizzle retires ta they room fizzor tha even'n, J-to-tha-izzohn goes ta hizzay office n priznints out tha pizzle of Terezi. He doesn’t have any funky ass photo papa ta put it on, so it cizzles out too dark wit tha cizzles all smeared. He scrubs tha printa history frontin' when he’s finishizzle so jus' chill.

Whiznen his anxietizzle is assuage', he flizzle down 'n tha spinny chair at the centa of tha room n studies tha picture. Terezi doesn’t L-to-tha-izzook thizzay much different from how he rememba ha—a shawty more wizzorn, maybe, fucka n olda n more tired, bizzle it’s calla. She’s smil'n, n hold'n up ha hand 'n a cheeky wizzle tizzy suggizzles neitha a mackin' or a farewell. Tha lizzle frizzle tha P-H-to-tha-izzone screen be reflected 'n ha glaszes. Jizzay can’t see hizzle eyes.

He fizzy tha pizzle into quarta n slips it into hizzis wallet, behind Harrizzle Andizzles baby P-H-to-tha-izzoto. Thizzay he tizzy off tha light n goes ta bed.

> ==>

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

> Jiznane: Dump chest.

M-to-tha-izzight as wizzell git all dis crap out of here n takes it wit you. You cracka kizzy W-H-to-tha-izzen you M-to-tha-izzight nee' it.

You shut tha chizzay n... oh, H-to-tha-izzello Harrizzle Anderson. Always a pleasure ta sizzay yizzle there.

He is also one of Y-to-tha-izzour idols, n as it happens, has a bizzy of a histizzle wit yo' poppop. They wizzere rivals on tha vaudeville comedy n magic act circuit. Eventually tha lizzess competent Andizzle was shamed out of tha industry n went on ta greena pastures 'n tha PRIVATE DOGGY STYLIN' BIZ. He became one of tha hardizzle boiled detectives on tha mizzay streets of the Biznig Easy, n lata mizzy a fortizzle off his memoirs (ghizzay written by Mizzle Caveney) hittin that booty.

> Jane like a tru playa': Captchalogue all.