#and... i don't want to leave. per se. but if the coworker i can't stand doesn't leave soon i may have to leave first

[slippery-minghus]

dunno if i'm gonna rally the spoons and nerve to apply to some new jobs (i suppose we'll see how this week's vibe goes) but i updated my resume and i'm feeling pretty good about it 💪

[ethanjhake]

Personal Life Update 🙃

Well, I quit my part time job.

I've been working as a deli clerk at a local grocery store for about a year and seven months, and during all that time I've been looking for better work options, applying to different (better) jobs, and found nothing.

Working there has been a big strain on me mentally. I'm a huge introvert by nature, meaning that too much social interaction will wear me out like nothing else. Working in a customer service position means a constant flow of new people who I have to interact with, so by the end of every day my energy would be so low I couldn't ever bring myself to work on my art or comics. And originally, the only reason I left my full time job was to free up more time for me to pursue comics as a career.

Where I work, the quality of customer service is meant to be really high. Your typical "the customer is always right" type of mentality. In my training they literally told me to think of the customer as my boss, since they are the ones ultimately paying the store and me by proxy.

But having to bow to the wishes of just Anyone has moral consequences when the customer is in fact not right, and very very wrong. The more and more I had bad customers, the more and more I was forced to watch, and even enable bad behavior.

Having to do this every day was crushing for me. All the while management was telling me to keep on smiling, like nothing was wrong. I started to employ coping mechanisms just to get me through the work day, but then I started to see that creep into my personal life. My wife would get my attention, just to show me a funny meme or something, and I'd mentally wince, as if she was a customer.

I love people, they're all beautiful and unique in their own ways. But my time behind the deli counter made me start to view everyone else as a potential threat, just in an effort to protect me from having to encounter wrong doing and then be forced to stand by and smile. Or even having to ask the wrong doer if there's any way I can help them?

So I quit. Or, I put in my two weeks. even as much as it pains me to have to spend another minute working there, I thought it would be best to leave in a way that feels respectable. I also wanted time to say goodbye to good coworkers I met there, and not leave them with an empty slot on the schedule that they would have to scramble to fill.

But the big problem with this is that I don't have another job lined up, and I've been looking for different jobs for almost two years and not found anything. So the best I can do right now is step out in faith. And I guess, sometimes you don't have to know where you're going quite yet, but you can't stay in the City of Destruction.

So I'm technically "unemployed" at the moment, although I will be taking on Door Dashing as a means to make money for the mean time. And there's hope in that. It looks like I can actually make more money doing that than I was at my old job. But even then the pay is uncertain, and I have to keep an extra eye on my car and its maintenance. It does also complicates taxes some.

It feels like the Wrong Decision™ in many ways, but even then, staying feels like an even worse decision. I wasn't even making that much money there.

Yesterday my boss offered to leave me in the system, so that if I needed more work I could shoot her a text and she could schedule me in as long as she had the extra hours. And on the one hand I was tempted, it felt like it could be a good safety net if all else fails. But after thinking it over, I said no. I think God is calling me to leave for good, and to trust that whatever happens He will provide. I don't know how He will or how long it'll take, but that's not what trusting is about. And I honestly feel like that's the point of what I'm going through right now. I feel like God specifically had my boss make that offer, not as a test, per se, but more to help me understand that I am stepping out in faith, and that—even as scary as it is—I do trust him.

So today is my last day. After that I go to Door Dashing and continue my work on SotF. And I guess, it really couldn't hurt to put a link to Ko-Fi here. I'm not asking for money so don't feel any pressure, but God does provide though his people. So if you feel so inclined here is my Ko-Fi.

And here I go,