#and. again. i fully oppose settlers putting on redface and the like.
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I want to love my ancestors, but how can I? Parents and grandparents, sure, despite their faults, just because I personally knew/know them, and know they love me - though not without the crushing guilt of knowing most of them don't give a damn about people they or our family have trodden upon, or think something like "well, it wasn't right, but at least we are where we are today because of that, so it all worked out (for us) in the end, didn't it?". Am I supposed to love my family, or hate my family? Are my ancestors worthy? If the solution in my case is to break off from them and try to start over, how do I go about that?
#thinking abt this bc I was reading a bit from a book by an indigenous author#becoming kin by Patty Krawec#and she says a lot of settlers try to be Indigenous#which we shouldn't do ofc because that's racist and wrong on so many levels like. no.#fully agree wirh her there#but... she also said another reason is bc its disrespectful to settlers' own ancestors#and. again. i fully oppose settlers putting on redface and the like.#but do our ancestors deserve that respect?#if we end colonialism now and begin healing now#then maybe after a few generations we can be honored by our descendants. maybe.#but we who have to realize the horrors out ancestors supported and oppose them-#we should *honor* them? I. No. I am confused but unwilling.#How can I honor ancestors on my dad's side who probably fought for the Confederacy?#or Mormon ancestors on my mom's side who probably owned Paiute or Shoshone slaves?#I sure as shit eon't do that. they don't deserve it.
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