#and z*ko spent his time missing mai?? or fighting with her but i mean

[firelordizumi]

i just . i don’t get it

[petite-neko]

Trapped in the Past - 05

Fanfiction: Trapped in the Past Story Summary: The past can sometimes be a nice place to visit, however one should not spend too much time lingering in times already long gone if one can help it… Fandom: Dragon Ball Z Characters: Gohan, Chi-Chi, Goku, Vegeta, M!Trunks, Trunks, Bulma (Goten) Pairing: Gohan/M!Trunks Rating: T Warnings: Depression, Character Death, Angst, PTSD Author’s Notes: Finally, getting to the plot. (I set up a ko-fi account guys! Feel free to donate! Link in blog description!)

(Check source for ao3 link!) Chapter 4 || Chapter 5: Success|| TBA

Success

The very word itself was so controversial. For it could mean one thing to one person, but the complete opposite to another.

Sometimes he doubted if they had truly succeeded.

.+++.

Gohan let Goten fall asleep in his bed as he watched over the sleeping child. He couldn’t deny that he was jealous of his brother born in peace. Of the fact that his brother only had one, sole terrifying enemy in his life. Of the fact that his brother had only viewed it as a game. For the youngest Son truly enjoyed fighting.

So much unlike him.

He supposed however, that he could not fault Goten, and the boy had, in exchange for peace, not known his father for the first seven years of his life. So jealousy really had no right being there. Envy did not belong. There had been a price.

It just was not fair. But life never was.

How could he have not known that Goten didn't know? How could he have not noticed that Goten didn't see what was happening to him? Children were always so observant. Children always cared so much. He knew that far too intimately, and yet... yet he just didn't see it.

He chose not to.

It was because he knew it so intimately that he didn't see it. Because he just wanted to forget.

He wanted freedom. Yet, deep down, he knew. He knew, deep down, that he would never, truly be free. And, so, he went with the façade of freedom. He went with the blindness. He pretended not to know.

It hurt less.

Because what was done, was done, and there was no changing it. What he did, what he didn't do, it was all in the past... He would live with it for the rest of his life. He would have to bear that responsibility, because it was his to bear. It was his mistake...

You failed.

Yes, yes he did...

.+++.

Gohan spent all of the day at school on his own. Occasionally Sharpener or Erasa would check up on him, but he would smile and say he was fine. And it was the honest truth. Well... at least when it came to him and Videl. Certainly, yes, he missed it. He missed his illusion, he missed his peace, and he truly wanted it back. But no. It wasn’t right.

(And no, he was not fine at all. His life was far from ‘fine.’ But that was something that he wouldn’t tell them. That he wouldn’t tell anyone.)

He was glad though that his friends were concerned, and that they cared. That they wanted both their friends to be fine. However, the lack of his happiness and his peace was something he could not concern them with. It was because they could never understand it. No human could.

Certainly, speaking to his father might have been an option. But no. That option was gone. Ever since... Since... Because...

It’s your fault.

No. He’d never tell his dad.

And besides, even if that option was explorable, his father was not like him. Goku was carefree. Goku worried very little. And Goku liked fighting. Even if he told his father, Goku would probably shrug it off. He’d say it didn’t matter.

Just like everybody else had.

With a resigned sigh, Gohan returned home.

“Gohan!”

Gohan hadn’t expected the excited greeting, and as he blinked in confusion, his mother had looked around with that same expression.

“Gohan?” There was a tilt of Chi-Chi’s head, and then her face turned into a stern expression. “Gohan! Just where is my daughter to be?”

He had paused at the question, and quizzed his mind at just what his mother meant before dread filled him. Oh no... Videl was coming over today. It was a celebration his mother had decided a few months back. Since it had been a year since the two of them had met.

At least, that was what was supposed to happen…

But there was no way Videl was coming over - that is even if she still remembered in her grief. They weren’t together anymore and that is what this was supposed to be celebrating.

“Gohan.” His mother scolded, her finger pointing accusingly at him. “Did you forget?”

“It… may have slipped my mind?”

That, at the very least, was true. Today had been the last thing on his mind. (No, it was preoccupied by other, darker thoughts. It was clouded by exhaustion and stress and this... hopelessness. It had been distracted by his nightmares, by the break-up, by dealing with his friends and excuses and...)

“Goodness gracious! What am I going to do with you! Now you go and—”

“Mom...”

“Don’t you ‘Mom’ me! Now—”

“Mom!” Gohan sighed heavily in relief when finally his mother crossed her arms and gave him that look to hurry it up. “She’s not coming.”

It was Chi-Chi’s turn to sigh - although it was more like a groan - as one of her hands went to her forehead (the other settling on her hip) and she shook her head. “Let me guess, you two got into a fight?” She accused and quickly pointed a finger at him sternly. “That is no way you should be treating your future wife! Go apologize right now to her young man!”

“No, that’s not it. Mom! Let me finish!” Oh sometimes he hated how bull-headed his mother could be! “We broke up. Yesterday.”

Disbelief was soon replaced with shock as the woman heard just what her son had said. “Wh-What?” She uttered out and her form began to stagger.

“My baby’s future just...”

Goku had blurred into existence as Chi-Chi placed her hand on her forehead. He caught his fainting wife before she hit the ground.

“O-oh...”

As Goku began to place Chi-Chi onto the ground gently he lifted his head towards the house. “Goten?” When the youngest Son zipped out of the house, confusion written all over those innocent features, Goku continued. “Can you take your mom into the house and look after her? Put her in the couch and place a cold towel on her head. I need to talk with Gohan.”

“Mmn!” There was a nod of that Son-styled hair and Goten quickly did as his dad instructed.

Gohan had watched in dread as his mother fainted from shock. (He had heard that it was not an uncommon occurrence from the others, but it still didn’t make him feel any better) He had watched as his father took control of the situation, frozen to the spot. He had watched as the worry was plastered over his little brother’s face.

It’s your fault. It’s your fault.

The half-saiyajin bit his lip. It was the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do. He repeated in his head, trying to convince himself that he didn’t screw up - again. It was so hard to believe as his brother was carrying their unconscious mother into their house. As his father was looking at him with concern in his black eyes. It was the right thing to do.

You can't trust your own judgement.

Gohan winced; he looked away from that gaze. “I...”

Out of the corner of his eye, Gohan could see Goku shaking his head before a firm arm wrapped around his back. Then Goku led them over to the riverbed near their house, sitting down and gesturing him to follow. “Why don’t you start at the beginning Gohan? What happened between you and Videl? I thought you were happy with her.”

“I - ah...” Gohan said awkwardly and sat down with his father. “Yes, I was happy, but - well... what it was, was what didn’t happen, and not what happened.” At his father’s confused face, Gohan realised with woe that he had to elaborate. “I... misread my emotions. What I thought was love wasn’t. I wasn’t passionate, where she was. And she deserves more than what I can offer. I want her to be happy Dad. And I’m too passive for her to do that.”

There were a few thoughtful hums coming from Goku as he listened to his son’s words. Near the end of it, he placed his hand on his shoulder. “Gohan you do realize though... that with your strength...”

Gohan nodded with a cringe. Yes. He had thought of this. Videl was the closest person he could probably ever truly have a relationship with. That was human anyway. However, even considering that, Gohan knew that it wasn’t right. He did not feel for her the way she felt for him, and that was what was the issue here. Nothing else had mattered. “I know Dad, but, I just don’t feel for her the way I should. Our relationship was nothing like what you and Mom have. I... I mean I can see us together, having a family, but,” Gohan shook his head, “she wouldn’t be happy. Truly happy. I do not give her what she wants, and she deserves so much better than that. I love her yes, but not like a lover. Like a brother would, or a best friend. I didn’t realize that at first because she made me happy, but I do now. I mean... can you see yourself dating...” Gohan struggled for a name. “Krillin?” Wait that sounded wrong, and could end badly so he quickly corrected himself, his hands flailing in the air. “Er - or Bulma?”

There were more nods from his father, however an awkward laughter broke the silence and Goku rubbed the back of his hair. “No, No. I see what you mean son.” There was a grin on his face. “You did the right thing, and I’m sure your mom will see that too eventually.” The hand that had been on his shoulder squeezed gently and reassuringly.

You did the right thing.

Gohan hid his wince. How, oh how he had longed to hear just those words... “Thanks Dad.” If only we had been talking about something else...

.xxx.

(Three Days Ago)

“Hmph...” Vegeta said as he stared into the sky with recognition. “What does that brat want now?”

Trunks looked up when his father paused in their sparring session, and then followed that gaze. There was something very strange in the sky, it almost looked like a ship. Strange... it wasn’t there a moment ago. He turned to see his Mother standing at the door, her smoke dropping from her hand. “Mom! Mom!” He hollered out, running up to her. “There’s this strange ship in the sky!” He tugged on her arm, trying to get her attention, but even her eyes were glued to that strange object in the sky.

“Trunks...?” His mother whispered, her gaze still fixed on the ship.

Frustrated, the boy floated up and waved his hand in front of her face, struggling to get her attention. “Mom? Mom? Earth to Mom!”

This seemed to snap her out of her daze. “Oh! Trunks!” Bulma exclaimed and looked at her son. “Sorry, you were saying?”

“Hmph!” Trunks repeated after his father and crossed his arms, clearly not pleased. There was a pout on his face. However, it didn’t last for too long - just only to let his mother know that he was displeased with her behaviour - and he soon pointed to the ship in the sky that was now making its way to the ground. “Whassat?” He slurred the words together.

“That?” Thankfully it seemed looking at the ship didn’t distract his mother again. However there was this strange smile on her face. Like she was remembering something happy. “Oh, it’s a ship that belongs to a good friend of ours. He helped save our world. And did you know that, if it weren’t for him, Goten wouldn’t have even been born?” Bulma ruffled her young son’s hair before she began to move towards the ship that had now landed.

Trunks followed, still floating in the air. He watched as his mother’s smile quickly faded into one of concern when the ship didn’t open. Was it supposed to open?

Bulma’s walk soon turned into a run and she peered into the glass dome. “Trunks?!” She screamed out and hit the glass. “Trunks?! Wake up!”

The boy blinked, rather confused. Just... what was his mother saying?

Next, his mother began to press a button, her actions becoming frantic as it didn’t seem to work. Then, she tried, in vain, to force the lid open. When she realized her actions were futile, she slammed her fists into the glass. “Vegeta!” She cried out. “Trunks isn’t moving! The ship won’t open! Vegeta!”

“...Mom?” Had she gone crazy? He was perfectly fine, so why was she saying that he wasn’t moving? Why was she telling him to wake up? “Dad?” He looked up at his father who was now approaching the ship slowly. “What’s going on?”

However, Vegeta ignored his son’s question and instead turned to Bulma. “Relax woman, the brat’s alive.” And with ease, he gently moved her aside and lifted up the glass dome. “See?” With a sigh, the saiyajin prince placed his hands in his pockets and walked away.

Trunks moved over to take a closer look at this friend his parents were so worried about. Strange... The boy thought while looking at a man in his twenties with hair the same shade as his. He kinda looks like me...

There was a sigh of relief from his mother, however she still placed her fingers on the man’s neck, and when she found what she was looking for, her body finally fully relaxed.

“Mom? Just who is this man?”

Bulma blinked in recognition. She did it again! Totally forgot all about him! “Oh, Trunks, this is... well it’s a long story, but he’s you, only from the future. How about I tell you about it once we get him into the house?”

.xxx.

He was the last one. The only one. Part of him wondered: why did they not go to New Namek? Why did they not revive everybody? Or did they truly think it was hopeless? Did they not think they had enough time? Or was he now the strongest one? Did they not look down and see what he had achieved?

He had heard the stories of training in the afterlife, so certainly...

So why?

Perhaps they were only distractions...

He woke up, gasping for breath, his body trembling. He had to do something! He had to! He had to—

Gone. Gone. He was gone forever.

A scream ripped out of his throat.

Footfalls came rushing up the stairs and to his door and his door opened and there was a woman in the doorway and, “Trunks! Are you alright!”

It was his mother.

Dead. Dead. She was dead.

“You - but - how?”

She sat next to him.

Dead. Dead. She was gone. After she tried. Tried so hard. It was all for nothing. Nothing. It didn’t matter anymore.

Her hand cupped his cheek, rubbing at...

Tears? He was crying?

“Trunks, dear?”

He truly didn’t understand just what was going on. He was so confused. But aside from just how this could even be happening, Trunks felt that something was wrong. No... It wasn’t wrong. Just... not right. It was different. Mother... she looked so... healthy? Strong? Happy? Young.

”Charge your time machine. Keep it at maximum capacity.”

He was in the past...

Something... Something... I have something to do. Important. It was important. Back in time. Last resort. Only way.

Trunks groaned and held his head. It hurt! No more! Please! Stop!

The world swerved and he suddenly could hear a distinct thump. Thump. Thump. He recognised it. It was his mother’s heart. Beating. Soft. Kind. Alive.

“Shh... Shh...” Familiar hands were stroking his hair. A soft, nostalgic melody was hummed. Mom. Home. Yes, that’s where he was. “I’m here my boy.”

He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but eventually his mother lifted his chin and rubbed away the residual tears. “Can you tell me what is wrong?”

Gone. Gone. Everything was gone.

His throat felt raw.

"Buu."