#and you’re just like GREAT THIS TOTALLY ISNT MAKING ME FEEL EMBARASSED

[arkive78]

I hate !! When my tummy hurts !! When I’m out in public !! Like wtf man can’t this wait until we’re home????? Why you gotta hurt me when I’m having a good time with the homies???

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Hello I just wanted to say that I absolutely love ur writing the only reason I don't reblog it or others is because i have this irrational embarrassment of being judged for liking otome game scenarios with self inserts with people who know me irl. I understand there has been an issue of artists and writers not thinking their work is valued enough if it isnt reblogged but at least in my case please don't assume I dislike it if I dont reblog. I swear im working on it

Oh don’t worry at all! I’m glad you like my works, and that you’re actually trying to change the habit of not reblogging!

If you want to support artists by rebloging, maybe you could make a separate blog? Like a fan blog?

I totally get you though, when I first got the app I was embarassed to reblog stuff that was really old, I don’t know why lmao, but eventually I got over it!

You could totally make a fan blog to reblog the things you like! My blog started out like that, where it would be just reblogs from artists and writers, and it would be mostly of mystic messenger!

Now since this is where I mostly write, I have a separate blog where I get to reblog everything I like, and sometimes I reblog stuff here too (it’s so I won’t just spam on my main blog pft)

But thank you for wanting to support me and other writers or artists! Rebloging does help a lot for writers or artists to get more recognition, and to some it helps them know that people value their work!

For me I’m fine with likes, but I love it when people reblog and add their own hashtags or their comments, I love every single one of them, and sometimes people just say something so funny that I’m like HOYL SHIT I LOVE YOU

Thank you for the message! And it’s great that you’re trying to overcome the embarassmemt to support other people!

I think you should just ignore what people think about you! After all, you’re your own person, and it feels SO great to sometimes just go I don’t give a fuck, because that way people realize that what they’re doing it’s pointless. They’re not going to gain anything from it.

Still, I get now wanting to let close friends know that you’re into otome game and stuff, I do the same, out of my friend group only 2 people know that I’m into the games!

I think a good solution would be making a separate blog so you can reblog everything you like! That way it’ll be like your own space, where your friends don’t know who you are and you can feel free to show all of your interest!

To some people it’s important to get reblogs and it’s understandable! So if you’re able to do it, please try and support your artists that way!

Like I said, I love your comments on my works, they really make my day and give me the energy to keep writing, even when I’m having a rough time!

Anyway, I’m sorry if I rambled a bit, and thank you for the message and I hope you all have a good night! (It’s 12am rn and I have to wake up early tomorrow to study, so I have to sleep early!)

[actualbird]

a dumb weird old au i made that i’ll probably never write: the one where michael and jeremy are witches, roommates, best friends, and magic betrays Everybody’s Big Dumb Love Feelings

so in a world where magic is pretty common (because my middle name is “magic au”), using magic is as common as riding a bike. you can be really good at it or really bad at it or just choose not to use it at all.

theres this concept of a Familiar. it’s a magical animal you can make that’s a physical manifestation of your magic + a part of your soul. familiars help regulate and control a user’s magic. it’s really common for kids to make familiars when theyre learning magic, but less and less so the older you get, because it’s basically a glaring neon sign that’s interpreted as “haha you cant control your magic.” it’s Embarrassing to have one when youre older. usually familiars fade once the user doesnt need them anymore/users can purposely get rid of them using a spell (but. the spell sucks. purposely shoving a piece of your soul back where it doesnt feel it’s ready to be is Not Nice. best to let it happen naturally yknow)

so jeremy and michael!! as kids, jeremy and michael loved playing around with magic. they’d bring shitty origami animals to life for an hour or so. cool little light shows zipping from their fingers when theyd sleepover at each other’s house. dumb pranks and the such. jeremy found magic fun, but he never really thought of like pursuing it. he wasnt a natural at calling for the magic. he always needed to strain himself to make things happen. but michael? michael could call on magic like it was nothing.

which. was a bit of a problem. because he has trouble focusing and things get out of hand really really quickly and magic was easy for michael but he couldnt control it at all. origami animals catching fire or light turning to lightning. michael’s brain goes too fast and magic goes even faster so their childhood is a mess of broken window panes and murmurs of dangerous kid until

one day it all just stops. not the magic, but the lack of control. 

and jeremy can put the pieces together. he figures pretty easily that michael made a familiar and he’s happy for him!! but familiars are super personal (it’s a part of your SOUL) so he wont bring it up unless michael brings it up. but he never does. so jeremy never pushes.sure, okay, for those first few weeks he looks around. it’s inadvisable for a familiar to be too far away from their user because of the whole soul thing. so he’d wonder if that squirrel that scurried past was michael’s familiar. or maybe that pigeon hanging by the wire. or maybe it was something small like a beetle that lived in michael’s pocket. but michael never brings it up. so jeremy never pushes. time passes and michael’s magic gets even better and jeremy figures the familiar faded away. 

FAST FORWARD to where theyre coooooool in college. they are ROOMMATES and BEST FRIENDS and WITCHES but only michael really uses magic. jeremy uses magic sometimes to like, get rid of a headache (and maybe accidentally give himself a worse one, oh jer). michael does like. potions and sigils on the side for cash because he’s!! good!!!

but then michael has to go to this Thing (and i never figured out what exactly, theres a reason this au isnt gonna get written hsfdjf) but it’s a thing with super conservative witches and sorcerers and mages and michael is nervous because he has to make a good impression and jeremy is like YOU’VE!! GOT THIS!!! YOU’RE A SKILLED WITCH!!!! and jeremy just assumes all the worry michael is feeling is just cuz he’s intimidated but then the day before michael leaves he like. sits jeremy down and says

“I have a secret to tell you. and a favor to ask you.”

jeremy, internally: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT IS HAPPENING

so michael is there not making eye contact with jeremy and he’s so worried and he opens lifts the hand he had covering his other and. hops out the tiniest little sparrow looking at jeremy like he’s the World

“I need you to look after my familiar.”

“Wh----”

and michael is rushing to say so many things like. “i’m sorry i never told you and i’m sorry this is so sudden but i cant bring her with me because if somebody finds out i’d be done for and she never faded away okay but it’s SO EMBARASSING TO HAVE ONE WHEN YOURE PAST TWELVE BUT i cant stomach the thought of erasing her she helps so much with my magic and my anxiety AND AND---”

and jeremy has to like. calm michael down because he’d never think less of michael over some dumb familiar stigma. he’s still an incredibly skilled witch who also just so happens to have a part of his soul split into this tiny feathery fluff hopping around their kitchen counter while staring at jeremy the entire time. 

so. thats where the actual planned fic wouldve began: wherein jeremy takes care of michael’s familiar. (in my notes, her name is boni. like. bonifacio. shut up, theres a reason this au is dead). and jeremy is SO ON EDGE the entire time because boni is michael’s SOUL!! he was initially hesitant because he’s heard about familiar separation and its negative effects but jeremy isnt very good at saying no to michael so.

so jeremy takes care of boni. and is puzzled the entire time because boni seems to do the opposite of what he’s reading familiars are supposed to act like? familiars are super super personal (SOUL!!! HIS SOUL!!!!!) and thus it would only trust its user and it would HATE other people. but boni is ridiculously cuddly. she’d fly up to jer’s hand for pets. she’d sit on his head and try to preen his hair. she chirps happilly whenever jeremy wakes up. and jeremy is ?????

he’d call michael and ask if he was doing okay or if he was feeling sick but michael would respond really brightly like “Nah, dude. I actually feel great? Like confident and safe and warm? S’weird.”

[insert biggest eyes emoji in the world]

at one point michael gets super super nervous and in their apartment, boni starts to go haywire. and theyd call and jeremy would talk michael through it while petting boni and he’d slowly start to realize how //connected// michael and boni are and he’d wonder. about the implications of boni’s behavior concerning michael’s feelings towards jeremy. (because jeremy totally has feelings back. OBVIOUSLY!!)

so yeah thats this au where a magic bird is not only michael’s soul but a physical manifestation of Michael’s Big Pining Feelings. the end

[tumblunni]

OKAY SO THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG

Man it REALLY sucks that the only place you can’t take screenshots is in the cutscenes. SO MUCH GODDAMN PLOT HAPPENED!! I’m gonna try and sum it up! basically ORESHIKA GOT REAL

* Okay so to recap what’s happened before: we’re a magic cursed clan of zombie doods who need to defeat Abe No Senmei to break the curse. We can each only live for two years, so the game is built on hundreds of generations of this family marching into death over and over again until eventually some great great grandkid might get a normal life back. But oddly enough it isn’t actually as super dark as expected, cos you dont really have any personality or bonding scenes with the family members. I kinda stopped getting very upset after the first three generations, now theyve just become a bunch of numbers that i have to selectively breed to make a better next generation. Seriously its been OVER 150 CHARACTERS SO FAR and I’’m only around 2/3rds through the game! And like the plot also seemed super simple and it didn’t feel like anything was gonna happen to anyone outside of the backstory?? I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO GET SO REAL

* Abe No Seimei is a cool smarmy ass jerk villain with a neat design and a weird ancient japanese hand puppet. like this really funky cool wooden mask thing with a giant wig that I legit thought was an actual demon attatched to his arm until it started having clickitty clack face animations. I got REALLY UNUSUALLY SAD ABOUT THAT! Cos seriously abe no seimei is just.. weirdly.. nice...? He keeps telling you how to defeat him, he waits to do all his evil plots when you’re there to watch him, he literally sends you letters to come to his grand feasts celebrating each evil plan. And its so fuckin mysterious and getting to know him is really the only thing driving the plot forwards, cos none of your characters have actual voices. And like.. he’s this immortal guy who seems like he wants to die, and he’s deliberately playing the villain so you guys will be motivated enough to find out a way to do it. And like HE HAS ONLY ONE FRIEND and its HIMSELF DOING A STUPID PUPPET PAL VOICE. i’m really abnormally upset that onigashira isn’t really alive! His cute comedy sidekick doesnt exist! MR SERIOUS VILLAINMAN IS DOING THAT VOICE ALL ALONE IN HIS STUPID SAD HOUSE why do i want to hug this horrible jerkface

* Okay but then the other mystery we have is the character Nueko, who’s a weird demigod of some sort who can reincarnate in human form. She’s the one who gave us our magic zombie powers in the first place, she’s got the power to DIE HORRIBLY REPEATEDLY AND FEED PEOPLE HER BLOOD in order to cure them of deadly diseases and bring them back to life and stuff. And this actually becomes a gameplay thing! You can repeatedly bring her back as a new human reincarnation, and then her special skills let her shield allies from damage at the cost of basically going poof back to the heavens again. Its a really useful relief from the punishing permadeath! While not being overpowered cos she can only save one person per dungeoncrawl, and you cant reincarnate her again for a while afterwards. Anyway she keeps popping up every now and again like ‘hey guys i slept off that last death’ and being a super helpful badass team mom and such. But then THE PLOT STARTS HAPPENING EVERYWHERE Cos it turns out she’s got ~magical anime amnesia~ and doesnt understand her demigodness any better than we do. But wtf why does this evil sorcerer man keep implying he knows some secret about her...?

* THE PLOT TWIST SHE’S HIS MOM HIS MOM and seriously I LOVE ONIGASHIRA SO MUCH its like Nueko: What did you say?! Onigashira: *literally looks out the fourth wall* Did you hear it, kids? He totally said “waaaah, mummy, I missed you so much”, right! Literal actual player prompt: Yes/No Bunni, of course: SLAM THAT YES And oh god its just so extra funny cos Seimei actually doesnt even deny it?? He cracks a semi genuine smile and just looks embarassed, its so weird cos its like the only time he hasnt been all smug grumpy asshole. And I mean if it is indeed true that Onigashira is just a puppet, then the whole thing was his genuine feelings from the start.. ... though also DOES THAT MEAN SEIMEI CAN SEE THROUGH THE FOURTH WALL its weird how thats MORE SCARY than the literal demon doing it! like i feel like the game wants me to be scared of onigashira but he’s just SO CUTE AND FUNNY and I really dont want him to be imaginary okay. can we adopt him after we defeat seimei :(

* BUT ANYWAY UMM Yeah, Nueko is actually his mum despite looking younger than him! He kinda inherited her reincarnation power in a broken way, cos he’s half human. Instead of experiencing multiple lives whenever he chooses it, and getting to nap in the clouds in between, instead he just CANNOT DIE NO MATTER HOW MUCH PUNISHMENT HE TAKES. Seriously he introduced himself by setting himself on fire, burning to a crisp and then growing back his skin right in front of us, just to prove it! I can honestly relate to this guy going mad if he’s had to put up with this super crappy immortality that he never even asked for. And also its gotta sting to see that his own mum gets to stay more youthful looking, lol. i mean he’s pretty bishie too right now, but I’m assuming he’d actually continue to age and thats gotta suck!

* Oh and there’s this really cool element that all the bosses that Seimei summons to figth you become new powerups for Nueko! Its an early clue about their connection- at first she’s like WTF WHY IS THIS HAPPENING, but then it turns out these bosses actually originally were her familiars and she left them to look after her son. So they’re still loyal to her original command until she defeats them in battle. Also the WAY these familiars get used is EXTRA SUPER COOL! They’re sealed in magic tattoos all over her body, so she gets more sweet ink every time you reach a storyline milestone. And then she doesn’t just summon them or just boost her stats, she friggin GROWS MASSIVE MONSTER ARMS ALL OVER THE SHOP! Like I was so worried when her design looked all fanservicey at first, but then she’s never degraded in any way and she gets this super disservice power lol. I can’t imagine any smut fanfiction with her! “Yes hunny i will take off my bra and then BRING OUT THE CRAB ARMS” She grows fuckin CRAB ARMS! And snake heads for legs! She can shoot different demons out of all of her limbs and grow giant horns and wing hair and breathe fire and holy fuckin shit yo. And she’s really fuckin terrifyingly stoic badass even before she unlocks her powers! She could probably crush your head in her palm and not even need the crab. basically I Love Strong Mom

* Oh and apparantly Nueko’s husband was another god who got erased from history? Literally nobody is able to say his name, it comes out as garbled scribbled out text. And at the moment its ambiguous what happened, but it might be possible that he was actually sniped out by his fellow gods for being TOO GOOD. Like, he wanted to make peace with demons and give a bigger share fo divine power to humans, and everyone else was all ‘BUT THE STATUS QUO’ and stabbed him in the back. possibly? Maybe? ITS ALL SO MYSTERY!!

* so ANYWAY ANYWAY a required other thing for explaining the EMOTIONALLY DESTRUCTIVE MOMENT is that there’s this duo of minor helpful npcs i never mentioned before, cos i honestly didnt think they were gonna be important there’s this justice-powered cute princess who’s determined to do political stuffs to clear your clan’s name and let you back into your former land, though all you really see of it is that she makes a few sentences of progress every time you get back from a story dungeon. And then there’s her grumpy ass bodyguard who’s kinda your rival? he’s always hating on you while she always supports you, and its like he’s jealous cos he has a crush on her and doesnt want commoners talking to his precious princes. And blablabla ‘i am the only one strong enough to protect her GRARR i need to get stronger how did you defeat me’ yadda yadda. Except you dont even get to fight him, again its just like one sentence every story dungeon where he says he was totally gonna rescue the magical artifact you beat him to. Even tho he doesnt do it no matter how many years pass, lol So yeah we like.. didnt really even know them very well, but also they felt like this comforting constant that would never leave? GuesS WHAT THE EMOTIONALLY DESTRUCTIVE BIT WAS

* Okay so HEY SEIMEI KIDNPPED PRINCESS LADY HAHA JUST AN ORDINARY DAMSEL IN DISTRESS PLOT we’re TOTALLY gonna successfully get her back, this is probably just filler... HA... HA... HA...

* The rollercoaster of emotions begins! Hey onigashira might actually really be alive! Apparantly this puppet mask is haunted, or something? like onigashira is the name of a whole set of masks that give you super power if you wear them, but turn you beserker loopy demon man. Though they dont seem to be sentient or anything and also like nobody else seems to be able to wear them without losing their humanity?? So like did seimei escape the curse by wearing it as a hand puppet instead? or is the puppet not connected to the masks at all? Or is it gonna be something lame like seimei was never in control of his actions and the puppet is sentient and is the real baddie? COS I LIKE HIM BEING THE CUTE COMIC RELIEF YO Oh, wait, like.. maybe its something like seimei is possessed by the mask but the mask isnt really alive and like.. doing ventriloquism is just his random symptom of this ambiguously defined madness? Like instead of going beserker it made him ‘give in to his instincts’ in a different way, so he stays mostly in control but involuntarily expresses his true hidden feelings through the puppet. Hence why it is the best and cutest goofball who encourages him to be honest and hug his mom. OR JUST I DUNNO I JUST KNOW I HAVE MY FAITH SLIGHTLY RESTORED THAT CUTE SIDEKICK MIGHT BE REAL AND I CAN ADOPT HIM

* but hey guess what happened right after that happy moment of wow cool yay in the middle of me being like ‘yay seimei is so cool yay onigashira is actually gonna play a bigger plot role than just a sidekick and may actually be his own separate character’ SUDDENLY THEY KILL THE SAMURAI And like OHHH NO they dont even JUST kill the samurai I was still thinking the moment was cool!! Seimei throws a second mask on him and curses him to fight the party and i was just like WOW YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD and WHAT A COOL BOSS FIGHT CONCEPT And like I was proud of myself for sweeping the fight super quickly?? I just thought he’d be fine once we got the mask off??? BUT NO HE’S FUCKIN DEAD WE COULDNT UNDO THE CURSE WE JUST HAD TO KILL HIM AND THEY SHOW HIS VERY GRAPHICALLY BLOODIED CORPSE and like his whole plotline got cut off with no resolution?? he only existed to die here?? THE WRITERS NEVER HAD ANY INTENTION OF LETTING HIM CONFESS HIS PRINCESS LOVE. AND HE ALSO NEVER MADE UP WITH US AND LEARNED FROM HIS RIVAL PLOTS he just died really sadly and then like FOR THE SECOND TIME ONLY IN THE ENTIRE GAME we had an actual dialogue choice to decide the personality of our hero first time: lol onigashira mommy jokes second time: pick one of three ways to try and soften the blow as you tell the rescued princess that her childhood friend and crush just died horribly :(

* :(

* the one I picked was telling her he died saving her, not that he was the one being mind controlled to threaten her. :(

* I DIDNT EVEN LIKE YOU GRUMPY DUDE BUT YOU DESERVED BETTER THAN THAAAAAT

* look can i just headcanon that he became a guardian spirit like my characters can do if they get that rare random event. or like.. geez.. why couldnt nueko use her ressurection powers on him if she could do it for us?? they should have at least had a line of dialogue saying something like ‘it cant be done cos his soul was corrupted by the demon power’ or something...

* MAY YOU RESOLVE YOUR DAMN PLOTLINE IN THE AFTERLIFE, GRUMP FRIEND

* also seimei I am fuckin pissed. you have been promoted from trash boss who i kinda wanna give a hug to the same thing but without the hug now. you dont even deserve your sweet sidekick! IM TAKING YOUR DAMN PUPPET PAL, SHITTY POOP MAN i fuckin SWEAR if this game doesnt end with me ripping that puppet out of his hands i am gonna throttle a bitch

* ALSO I FUCKIN SWEAR IF THEY PULL A ‘PUPPET PAL WAS THE REAL VILLAIN AND SEIMEI WAS BRAINWASHED’ I AM GONNA DOUBLE CHOKE YA inm gonna fuckin build my own puppet with animatronic stranglin’ hands

[lvehui]

verkwan things & concepts

below is, as the title says, verkwan things and concepts. i mostly typed all of this out for reference when i begin to brainstorm and outline for my verkwan au. (and, a plot for that very au remains a goddamn MYSTERY.)

https://www.wattpad.com/803728984-into-the-jiangverse-personal-verkwan-things

seungkwan:

when he's feeling something, he shows it.

really dramatic, always yelling even when he's not mad, will turn into a crying mess over small things but for good reasons. like if vernon gets hurt he's LIKE OH MY GOD and then starts crying and vernon just starts laughing at him and says "you're so cute" and seungkwan wants to fight

sassy pants

gets aggressive, but like, in a "VERNON IF YOU SAY YOU'RE UGLY AGAIN I WILL KISS YOU SO HARD" way

clingy clingy, super-duper affectionate. will hold vern's hand at all times and vernon doesn't care.

will scold you for not taking care of yourself. if you worry him he'll say "i should kill you"

tries to be mean but does not succeed, at most, is sassy

will brag about vernon and drag your boyfriend to FILTH

has a lot of pride, reacts strongly when offended

is sensitive, yet he's actually really strong when it comes to serious stuff (such as his weight, singing, etc.) his brightness isn't necessarily a facade, but he doesn't want to appear weak. no one else will defend boo except boo, so he's used to making himself THAT bitch in front of others. but when hansol enters the mix, he realizes that someone else is there for him

seungkwan does the kissy face thing without realizing and vernon finds it really cuterambling king, will go off on a tangent, etc.

is freely expressive of his emotions, his entire thought process is written all over his face.

gets self conscious of his body, his abilities, etc.

subconsciously touchy

vernon:

between the two of them, vernon is a lot more chill and relaxed

always has to reassure seungkwan that everything is okay or will be okay

if anyone else is affectionate with him he's caught off guard, but if seungkwan just decided to hold his hand he'd feel at ease if that makes sense??? like its just natural ya FEEL?

will laugh at seungkwan, hurting his feelings, and then he's like 'no boo i'm not making fun of you i'm just--- [ bursts into laughter ]'

he gotta calm his boyfriend down all the time

also has to deal with his dramatics and temper all the time but he actually thinks it's endearing

with certain things, he's slow on the uptake

doesn't make a big deal out of things/goes with da flow

positive!

when he gets comfortable, hes gets weird and dorky and its GREAT

everyone is like wow vernon is charming and cute and nice and seungkwan is like idk what yall talking about this boy is always on some drugs or some shit

fondnon,,, always staring at seungkwan fondly,, and everyone is like awe thats so cute but so gross, but vernon has zero shame man he is IN LOVE

notices that seungkwan is someone who gets physically close to lots of people so he starts to simp a bit,, but like internally,, while seungkwan on the other hand is like,, hEY dO yOu nOt LiKE ME and yeah misconceptions EVERYWHERE

vern is kind, but not open, as he always has his guard up for some reason

it seems like seungkwan would be the one whipped for hansol (which he is) but hansol is WAY more whipped. Like it doesnt seem like it at first but then it gets really obvious once you notice

that time vernon's smile dropped when he saw mingyu hugging boo smh

"whats up boo" "youre my boo thang"

some cute verkwan fluff scenarios:

cuddling on the couch and they're discussing serious stuff but mostly its seungkwan being like HEY HANSOL WHAT IF WE DIE or HANSOL WHAT IF I HAD NO LEGS WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME and hansol is like,, babe ,,, chill,, but also he acknowledges his worries and tells him that in any universe in any time, he'd love seungkwan and its CUTE

'THATS MY BOYFRIEND LOOK HE'S SO GREAT ISNT HE' and hansol is like "babe this embarassing' and he has to be like 'im sorry you guys' bonus points if seungkwan is drunk but hansol is actually very happy that seungkwan brags about him

seungkwan kissing his face all over in small pecks OR VICE VERSA VERNON BECAUSE WHO EXPECTS THAT HUH. NO ONE HOE

seungkwan in front of a mirror: [ about to cry ] i'm a bad bitch

vernon behind him: you are [ slaps his ass ]

seungkwan running up to him and being excited to share good news with him and holding his hand "HANSOLIE GUESS WHAT!!!"

seungkwan holding his waist as they watch movies

THAT MOMENT WHEN VERNON WAS CHECKING OUT SEUNGKWAN AND SEUNGKWAN LEGIT JUST EATING AND HE TURNED AROUND, COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS,,, AH YES

boyfriends,, always hanging their arms on each other randomly and the people theyre talking to is like,,ah ok

they're legit goofballs together and its the cutest

that fucking booty bump shimmy dance move theyre always doing together????yall seen it,,,

imagine theyre at a photo booth at they legit only have 5 seconds to synchronize into a cute pose but they keep switching between heart and peace sign at the wrong times (source is that one boom boom fanmeet)

IMAGINE THEYRE ON THE DANCE FLOOR AND THEYRE TOTALLY JUST HAVING FUN DANCING BUT THEYRE DANCING IS SUPER WEIRD AND EVERYONE IS LIKE ??? and joshua is like,, just,,, leave them,, let them be,,,

[tumblunni]

10 facts about trixie!

Oh wow, totally forgot I got this meme earlier this month??I’m sorry, buddy!

10 Trixie Facts:

* The protagonist adopted her, and they’d only been together for about three or four years before the zombie apocolypse started. But they’re absolutely, utterly a fire-forged bond that can never be broken. Mum spent like a decade trying to adopt a child, every time Trixie doubts that she’s really wanted her mother has a whole cabinet full of paperwork proving otherwise! And Trixie doubts so much because she was a ‘multiple offender’ at the foster home, she was almost adopted several times but all the people before Ms Boyd always returned her before even a year had passed. She was considered a problem case and so she became one, she became a cynical mess who never even tried anymore. But somehow this lady just would not give up on her no matter how much she tried to chase her away, and now she’s finally got the first stable home in her lifetime, and her first experience of a good parent......whiiiiich ended up being a problem, because Mum Boyd’s excessive optimism has led to keeping her daughter’s zombie around and pretending like nothing has happened. Trixie never predicted the full extent of her mother’s dedication on that day she asked “please never give up on me”.* At the start of the game, zombified Trixie’s awareness of this weird tall person who follows her around is pretty much a constant doubt emoji. So probably I’m gonna mix it up with occasional comedic interludes from her perspective, to break up all tha sad. Plus also to make it clear that this zombies do actually have some degree of a soul, and this isn’t just a story there’s no point in reading cos its guaranteed to have a bad ending.ANYWAY WHERE WAS IThe only part of herself she initially retained (aside from adorable grumpyness) was just this weird voice in the back of her head saying “Don’t eat this one.” And she’s pretty frustrated that it doesn’t even have the decency to run away like the others!She doesnt really know that she’s forgotten anything, so she’s been like

“Why is it here. What is happening. Its shaped like a thing but it isn’t. Why won’t it go away.”Just a wild haze of comparing this thing’s behaviours VS every other human, seriously where is the correlation, what is wrong with this “mum” and how do you define a “mum”. Is it like some sort of elite human superweapon??And even the heartfelt moments are totally ruined when you see inside Trixie’s head and she’s just like “WHY IT TOUCH ME”. Just slow zoom in on her terrified face mid-hug and the meme calculations fly across the screen..

* Eventually the conclusion she comes to is “It can’t be a food, it has to be another zombie.”When she first started trusting her mother again, it was from the perspective of a fellow predator, essentially. I mean, we have this nest here and we go hunting and scavenging together, right? We have those great bonding experiences like when we fought all those “bandit”! But this thing never seems to eat anything, and its weirdly obsessed with stuff that doesn’t matter, like these “money” that hurt my teeth.Conclusion: This is just a stupid zombie that needs my help to learn how to zombie.So she’s like a patronizing but affectionate tough love mentor to the Stupid Tall One, and sometimes she humours her and does the weird thing where you grab but do not eat each other. And I mean.. its a pretty sweet deal! It may be stupid but it’s tall! And it has a stick that goes boom! All i have to do in return is wear these weird itchy wool skins on top of my skin and not eat the other tall stupid things. It must be saving those for later.

* Aaaa I kinda have stopped doing Facts and its more like I’m just explaining the character’s story

* What number even is this

* OKAY ACTUALLY A TRIVIA FACT:Trixie has a weird fascination with those shampoo bottles shaped like fishes.Or I might make up a new original equivelant to avoid copyright issues, lol. Some sort of animal-shaped packaging with a collectable aspect! I thought it would be a fun thing you could find in the game. This ruined post-apocolyptic world and you’re trying to assemble the full set just to see your kid smile again, even if only for a moment. Surprisingly sad moments from shampoo fish!Tho cos Trixie is so grumpy and cynical she’s a bit embarassed about this silly hobby and tries to deny it at every turn. Just like *ASBSOLUTE BEAMING KAWAII EYES* “I hate it. I hate it so much it must sit on this shelf so I can hate it forever.”I was thinking maybe even they could kinda fullfill a small purpose as a mini portable garden? You’d modify them into small plantpots and could grow some minor herbs and flowers that you can carry around in your backpack. Just a nice way to make things feel a bit more normal, which is kinda necessary to our protagonist mom’s mental health. optimism meter or somethin?

* She likes her hat a lot. I probably need to figure out how to draw it looking more beaten up and less matching with the rest of her outfit, its meant to be one of the few things she kept when she was just a regular roaming zombie. It was like the first sign her mum had that she did at least remember something of her old life.Oh, and her mum likes collecting different badges to put on it. It started off as kinda similar to putting a bell on a cat so you know when its trying to escape, but now Trixie’s grown to like this strange human invention of the jangly forehead noise. She’s learned to take it off when the two of them are doing stealth operations, and even use it as a distraction to misdirect the enemy. Or to get away from the Tall Stupid One for a moment. Seriously what a dope, this ‘mum’ actually thinks its got me trapped! (Though the mittens are far harder to outsmart, who invented this evil hand covering?)

* Gameplay-wise, i think Trixie would be like a powerful speedster compared to other zombies. Kids surviving the infection isnt very common, and they usually die off quickly. They’re obviously not as strong as normal ones and theyre not exactly gonna get any stronger. But her advantage is that she’s more mobile because there’s kinda less complex machinery to animate, yknow? She’s got more speed and she’s smaller than pretty much every other enemy on both sides of this conflict, she can rush in with a kind of stealth and dexterity nobody expected zombies to possess.And the condition progresses faster in younger hosts, so the more supernatural side of her abilities is already manifesting early on. Her conciousness isnt really coherant enough to learn how to use it though, at the start its just like randomized limit break type bursts of shadow energy.Though, I mean, this doesn’t mean that she isn’t a physical attacker. She’s just more like long strings of multiple-hit combos, getting the same result even with her much lower attack stats. And still, even a weak zombie is stronger than the strongest human, aka the mum. mum is like a super survival hulk who can lift a damn sofa over her head, but that doesnt really help when fighting zombs so she’s usually a ranged gunner instead. I feel like its gonna work in a kind of elemental triangle with like.. human ranged/’tech attacks’ are effective against zombies, and melee isnt, but then zombie melee is super powerful and they arent able to compete with humans when it comes to ranged strategy. And then when the enemy is human vs human, you have a lot more trouble doing complex gunfighting, and your melee can actually compete against each other. or something. i’ll figure out whatever works best!

* Oh, but I think trixie also has more tech attacks than other zombies, because her personality as a human was very cynical and always prepared for anything. But she’d start off with no techs and only develop them as she regains her memories.One cute idea I had was her being able to turn soda cans and mentos into distraction grenades, and then like one out of ten attacks actually deals damage instead. Cos when you’ve got everyone frustrated dodging your exploding cans, they dont expect just a full can of tuna to bean them in the forehead XD

* I haven’t fully developed the circumstances of how she got infected, but I think it’s something where both her and her mom blame themselves for it. Like, maybe it was a confrontation with bandits or something, and Trixie did something reckless that led to them getting caught? But then Mum is like ‘oh god I failed to proect you’ and blames herself for her naive shonen protagonist optimism causing her to fall for some sort of trick, and then Trixie got bitten while saving her from it. So really they both messed up, its just tragic that only one of them lived to learn from it...

* Oh and for Maximum Tragedy, I don’t think it was even a fatal wound. It was probably like just a really small scratch and Mum kept trying to reassure Trixie that it would be fine, sinking into delusion while her poor 11 year old kid is the one who realized she was gonna die and was the only one willing to do something about it. So she had to suffer slowly fading away from illness over the next week, being TERRIFIED that her mum was refusing to let her go, and any second now she could become a zombie and kill her while she wouldnt even try to defend herself. So in the end, while Mum was all sitting in the corner all “ha.. ha... its just an ordinary cold... gotta stay positive”, Trixie packed a small bag of personal effects and ran away into the night, to find a place to die alone.in the end though, she left it too late and couldnt make it very far. Her last memory as she lay there dying was seeing the silhouette of her mother appearing on the horizon and knowing she’d failed to protect her :(

* Fun fact: no failure of protection actually happened, the two of them are both still around one year later, and if this writer has any say in it then I’m gonna find some damn way to write a happy ending.>:(