#and you see your partner writing out these sweeping epics of replies to other people and it's like. Ah :\

[kibibarel]

what are your rp pet peeves besides dropping a thread

hmm i must have a lot given how much i complain about shit related to RP but when someone asks me what my pet peeves are i blank on all of them lol………….usually it’s very specific things that piss me off but uhhhh

OOH one thing that annoys me a lot is people assuming shit about my character? the only character i’m writing rn is Lusamine and….people really just don’t know shit about her and love to come to me proposing these plots she would never take part in without even asking me if she would do the things they describe? the way i see it, it shows a complete lack of understanding of her character and disregard for me as a writer…like no, Lusamine will most certainly not torture your character to death with science equipment? your character is a complete normie so there is nothing she would gain from that and also she just got her nails done? what the shit are you talking about...like yeah she sucks and will do terrible things but she has standards... :\ aaaaand when i explain this to these potential partners, they sometimes get huffy and suggest that i’m making her OOC and i’m like man.....Shut The Hell Up When You Are Talking To Me

(this happened when i played N as well but like….in the reverse? in that they would assume he’d always pick the best, most Pure Good decision in a scenario when he would uh…not. because he’s N. and people forget he’s kind of a bigoted asshole with a limited worldview. they would be like WHY IS HE SO MEAN???? it’s the trauma and years of isolation)

on a related note, i also get a lot of people clearly not reading my info pages and fucking up on locations and shit……like my Lusamine’s default verse is post-SM, meaning she’s region-locked in Kanto and not acting as Aether’s President because neurotoxin bullshit……..and yet i very often get characters assuming she’s still in Alola and acting as President? not a huge problem, but it just shows they didn’t read my info pages at all…i also once voiced this annoyance to a partner of mine and they said something like “oh well everyone probably just assumes you’re playing her as mid-game” and that annoyed me like……yeah you’re probably right BUT it’s still rude…like it says RIGHT THERE that my default verse is post-game? no one ever assumed i was playing N as mid-BW when i first picked him up!!! they thought it was perfectly normal that i was writing him as a continuation of canon…same with all the other SM characters like Guzma, Lillie, and Gladion…why don’t people do that for Lusamine? it’s because they want me to play a very clearcut villain who does evil shit 24/7 and won’t develop at all even though i’d rather play a character than a plot device…

also people inserting their headcanons without my say…….this doesn’t always bother me and i can usually work with it but it’s definitely awkward when those headcanons conflict with mine…and sometimes they even conflict with canon? that’s the worst lmao

uhhhhh for tumblr RP specifically...ugly over-formatting that makes replies illegible……autoplay……..people that have the nerve to put “read my rules and about pages before following!” in their about and yet have themes that make it utterly impossible to find those pages so it’s like you gotta have a degree from NASA just to find out they won’t RP with Undertale characters…….i feel like everyone complains about these things and yet they’re still around somehow......

[dothwrites]

2020 Writing in Review

Well, it’s been a shitshow of a year, ain’t it? The one bright spot in this year was that it left me a ton of time for writing! With no further ado, here are the fics I worked on the year of our lord, 2020. 

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the blood which we drew | Rated: M | Word Count: 7335 | COMPLETE

Castiel bears the Mark. And for a few months, it's fine.

It's fine until it isn't.

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ramble on | Rated: E | Word Count: 26,875 | WIP

A series of Season 15 codas, crossposted to tumblr. Tags, Warnings, and Rating may change, based on source material.

(Technically started this in 2019, but I added to it this year, so I’m counting it)

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protect and serve | Rated: E | Word Count: 49,953 | COMPLETE

Police officer Dean Winchester's next assignment seems easy enough: a protection detail on Assistant District Attorney Castiel Novak, who's been receiving death threats in conjunction with the case that he's prosecuting. Dean's assignment is to keep ADA Novak safe, alive, and in one piece so that he can start his trial against Dick Roman, notorious CEO charged with the death of at least eight people.

With threats that quickly spin out of control, a missing teenage genius, Dean's attraction to Novak, and Novak's mercurial attitude towards Dean--Dean Winchester's next assignment is anything but easy.

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what stays (and what fades away) | Rated: E | Word Count: 64,421 | COMPLETE

Cas Novak’s life is perfect. He has a job that he loves and friends who support him. Most importantly, he has his husband, Dean Winchester, and his two adopted children, Claire and Jack. With them, nothing could ever go wrong.

That is, until he starts having flashes of a life that isn’t his and meets someone who shares his husband’s face but not his personality, someone who insists that he’s someone, something, different altogether. Cas’ life shatters when he’s dragged into a world that he doesn’t belong to and doesn’t understand.

Dean Winchester’s life was already shattered when he lost Castiel.

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thunder road | Rated: E | Word Count: 20,883 | COMPLETE

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

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alone together | Rated: E | Word Count: 74, 239 | COMPLETE

Like the rest of the world, Dean Winchester’s job sent him home with the supplies necessary to work from home and a vague farewell of “We’ll see you when this all blows over”. Unlike the rest of the world, Dean Winchester is entering into a quarantine with Castiel Novak, his incredibly hot and incredibly uninterested roommate. How is Dean supposed to concentrate on his job while Cas is just a few feet away, being...well, Cas?

Castiel Novak was already working from home, so the news of social distancing doesn’t affect him that much. What does send him into a panic is the knowledge that Dean Winchester, his stunning and straight roommate, will also be working from home for the foreseeable future. After spending so long trying to distance himself from Dean, Castiel now has to face a future where Dean is present. All. The. Time.

They’ve got food, Internet, and all the toilet paper they need, but neither one of them is prepared for quarantine.

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for a sinner released | Rated: E | Word Count: 8,800 | COMPLETE

Testing his theory, he runs his fingers over the soft skin of Dean’s wrist, until his thumb is pressed firmly against Dean’s hammering pulse. Cas pulls, gently but inexorably, until Dean is forced to take a step forward. The shift in positioning pushes the barrel of the gun into his forehead.

Cold metal touches overheated skin, and Cas inhales sharply at the contrasting sensations. The gun is unforgiving, relentless, beautiful.

It’s like Dean.

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and all this devotion | Rated: M | Word Count: 10,572 | COMPLETE

Dean’s not stupid. He’s seen the looks Cas has aimed his way, when Cas thought he wasn’t paying attention. He’s leveled his share of looks back at Cas when the angel’s attention was elsewhere. More than once, he’s been caught in the act. At this point, they’re both dancing around the same elephant, too scared and caught in their ways to make the first move.

OR: Dean gets hurt on a hunt. Cas takes care of him. There's only one bed. Confessions ensue.

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lost in translation | Rated: T | Word Count: 3,720 | COMPLETE 

Cas bites at his lower lip, looking uncommonly shy. Worry starts to stir in Dean’s gut, which is only compounded when Cas says something else in soft yet clear Enochian. As the new phrase doesn’t have the word stupid anywhere in it, Dean doesn’t have the slightest idea of what Cas is saying. The guilt squirming in his stomach gets worse when Cas looks at him, with gentle anticipation, as though he’s expecting a reply. Dean does what humans have been doing since the beginning of time when confronted with a language they don��t understand and smiles, wide and sunny, at Cas. Cas’ forehead creases but he returns the gesture. His eyes are still brimming over with emotion and the sight does something to Dean.

Dean begins to suspect that he may have started something which he is not equipped to finish.

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a new song about a new life | Rated: E | Word Count: 21,282 | WIP

There is no happily ever after. Mostly because there is no after. Life is just a series of days and nothing ever really ends. It just continues on, even after the curtain closes, and while the struggles might not be epic, they're no less impressive. Domestic life isn't without its pitfalls and trials, but at the end of the day, Dean and Cas still have each other and in the end, that's enough.

A series of timestamps detailing the small adventures of Dean and Castiel. Will contain teensy amounts of angst and a heap of fluff and domesticity.

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angel in black | Rated: E | Word Count: 95,325 | COMPLETE

Bounty hunter Castiel Novak has simple rules for how he conducts his business. Get in, get out, deliver the fugitive, and do it all with the least amount of effort possible. Never become emotionally involved.

When he takes on the job of hunting down Sam and Dean Winchester in order to bring them to justice, his rules start shifting. Threatened by supernatural forces as well as his attraction to Dean, Castiel soon has to decide what he’s willing to stand for…and what he’s willing to die for.

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ghosts that we knew | Rated: E | Word Count: 89,411 | COMPLETE

Dean can’t help it. Castiel’s laugh is infectious, washing over him and sweeping him up in its tide. His throat and stomach ache with the feel of it, unfamiliar muscles worked past their endurance. He hasn’t laughed like this in weeks, maybe years.

Cas doesn’t stop laughing, and Dean relishes it. It’s such a good sound, deep and throaty. It rumbles over him the same way that Baby’s engine purrs, to where he can almost feel it in his gut. Dean’s giddy, the kind of happy that hunters don’t get to feel, and if it weren’t for the ceiling, he thinks he might float away. Cas’ eyes crinkle when he laughs, and his smile goes wide and gummy. He’s so brilliant, so alive—

But you’re dead, Dean thinks helplessly. But you’re dead.

---

Castiel Novak is one of the best hunters Dean Winchester has ever worked with. He's witty, whip-smart, and has enough knowledge about the supernatural to rival an encyclopedia. He's got humor dry enough to put the Sahara to shame and he's pretty easy on the eyes as well. All in all, he's the best partner Dean could have hoped for.

Too bad he's dead.

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the best of things | Rated: G | Word Count: 2,494 | COMPLETE

There’s something.

This is significant because, for as long as Castiel can remember, there’s been nothing. --- Castiel finds a way out of the Empty.

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freedom | Rated: G | Word Count: 4,804 | COMPLETE

Freedom.

Dean rolls the word around on the tip of his tongue and tastes how it feels. Freedom.

It’s a strange concept, especially since he always assumed that he was. Ever since Apocalypse Version 1.0 was averted, Michael and Lucifer locked in the cage, thanks very much, he’s always assumed that he was the one calling the shots. No matter how badly he fucked up (and he fucked up a lot), he could at least take comfort in the fact that those were his choices. No one’s hand up Dean Winchester’s ass, no siree.

And then Chuck came and ripped that certainty away from him in one quick motion and then...everything was suspect. Sam, Mom, Jack...Cas. Every word, every action, every emotion... He couldn’t trust anything, so he trusted nothing.

--- OR: Dean makes a choice.

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at the end of the world | Rated: G | Word Count: 4,631 | COMPLETE

Rebuilding Heaven is slow work, but time doesn’t really mean anything here. It’s delicate to rebuild the walls separating billions of souls so that nothing collapses. Castiel works alongside Jack, making suggestions as his mind trips along to potential problems.

Though it’s never said aloud, Castiel knows why Jack is working tirelessly. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, the knowledge sits that Sam and Dean are going to die. One day, they will pass from the earth, and come to Heaven, and on that day, Castiel wants everything to be perfect for them. He wants to show them a true paradise, a place without walls or barriers, a place where emotion is genuine and not just a manufactured memory. Rebuilding Heaven is his last chore, the last of his penance to be performed.

--- OR: Team Free Will gets the soft epilogue which they deserve.

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let your heart be light | Rated: M | Word Count: 31,651 | WIP

It's Dean and Cas' first official Christmas together as a couple. What could possibly go wrong?

Just Cas' weird family, his own personal hang-ups about Christmas, Dean's persistent belief that the miracle of Christmas can heal all wounds, and meddling friends and family.

Have a Merry Christmas.

[dxmedstudent]

Dx’s Dating Tips: What Not To Compromise on.

Basic respect. Watch how they treat you, and how they treat the people around you. Don’t tolerate rudeness, disrespect and lack of consideration. You deserve someone who is thoughtful and cares how you feel. Personally, I thought someone cancelling dates was fine, if given notice and a plausible reason; life happens. Same with transport issues; these things happen, as long as they aren’t a regular habit, it’s fair enough. But things like not being given notice, or being ghosted? Not forgivable. This extends to their conduct in terms of ghosting. I didn’t mind people ghosting me, because they have a right to decide it’s not working out for them. But I did not tolerate people who ghost you then come back after two months to see if you are still interested, as if nothing happened. I’m sorry, I write back after 13h shifts, and even write back polite messages when rejecting people. Please, sweethearts, don’t accept someone treating you like you don’t matter. There will always be people out there who can treat you with respect.

Don’t accept being treated as a last minute addition. This also extends to people who e trying to plan the first few dates but just... don’t give you any notice. There’s at least one guy I never met because they kept on just messaging last minute to meet that same evening. The conversation would be promising, they’d know that I’m a busy woman who needs to plan ahead, and yet I wouldn’t hear anything about when to meet until like 8pm on a Saturday when they’d cheekily ask “Are you free this evening?”. Well, no, I’ve already made plans and if they in any way wanted to genuinely meet, they could try scheduling it in wth a few days’ notice. This goes for people of all genders; give people time to plan their lives, and expect to be given the same courtesy.

Don’t accept being a booty call unless that is all you want out of it.  If you want casual; great! Make sure you are both on the same page so nobody gets hurt. Be honest with others, but also with yourself; you can’t make someone fall in love with you or give you a relationship if all they want is sex; the only person who will fall will be you. Don’t tell someone who wants FWB that you’re happy with that when in your heart you want the white dress and two kids and a lifetime together. They won’t budge. You’ll get your heart broken. I’ve seen this happen, and I’ve seen good friends spend years pining over someone who is distant and barely a FWB who won’t commit to even being in a relationship, let alone what my friend wants. 

Regular contact. Everyone’s busy, but you can assume that if someone hasn’t messaged for more than a week or so, you’ve been ghosted. It’s polite in online dating terms to reply to a message after a day or two; people are usy, but nobody wants to be left hanging for days.Same for when people first start dating; you don’t necessarily need daily epic phone calls or message threads; people are busy. But if someone is interested they will want you to think of them, and they will want to be on your radar. They will want to make plans with you as a priority; not necessarly over their friends and family (nor should they), but you won’t be last on a long list, either. Bear in mind that people who swing by occasionally every week or two (or even more infrequenty) aren’t prioritising you. I used to find it so sad when a friend of mine would wait something like 3 weeks for their barely FWB to message them back; after which they’d quickly suggest meeting up for dinner and sex, then... nothing again for 3 weeks. Rinse and repeat. My friend wanted a lot more, but it turned into a neverending cycle of anxiety (”what should I message him? What if he doesn’t reply? Do you think he’ll see me again?”) that ultimately caused more pain than pleasure. They deserved so much better than that, and you do, too.

Never put in more effort than you’re getting back. You shouldn’t be chasing anyone; if they like you they will want to reply enthusiastically. They’ll want to make regular plans to meet. They’ll be considerate about what you want to do, and when you can meet.  They will care about what would make you happy.

If you’re a woman, in particular, never trust a man who doesn’t take into account your personal safety; if you’re meeting late, they should care that you’ve got a safe way to get home. They should think about whether you are comfortable being out that late. They should be respectful of the fact that they might still be earning your trust and that you might not be fully comfortable around them yet. I used to get frustrated by perfectly decent men joking about how the first date is the “obligatory meet in a coffee shop to prove I’m not a serial killer date” after which it’s straight back to their flat for dates. Like... making me comfortable and letting me feel safe is not a tick box gesture to be rushed through so you can get me alone, it really matters to me.  Bold of you to think it takes me just one hour over coffee to decide you’re definitely not a serial killer. You might be like a foot taller than me and have twice the muscle, I need to be able to feel safe and respected and comfortable with you. I need to feel that you understand consent and see me as a person. You’ll earn my trust when I decide, and I appreciate not being pressured to meet somewhere private where the other party has an advantage after meeting for like an hour.  I think someone suggesting going back to theirs is fine but there clearly shouldn’t be any pressure for ‘more private’ dates early on in the dating process, unless the other party makes it clear that they’d like to be alone with you.

Don’t rush. Some dating sites suggest meeting ASAP to avoid wasting time if there is no chemistry. I recommend being more relaxed; meet people when you feel ready, not when other people tell you to meet them. Don’t be rushed; you’ll know when you feel comfortable to meet someone. I found that messaging people for a little while meant that when we did meet, there was more to talk about and I felt more comfortable because I knew people a little better. If you run out of things to talk about on the first date because you messaged for a few days longer, then you were always going to struggle to hold a conversation with that person.

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Some people are very good at saying all the right things - 'oh yeah, I want kids and marriage like right now ... and I love you'. Intimacy takes time, and nobody who is serious is going to rush into commitment lightly. An honest person rarely promises anything, because they know what it means to keep a promise. However, people can, and do, promise anything when they have no intention of delivering. I’ve known people actually say “He told me he loved me after the second date, and he said he’s fine if I get pregnant because we don’t use condoms, he’d love to be a dad”. Sis, it’s date 2. No sensible man has two dates and decides he’s ready to father your children and get married. Be careful and don’t rush into anything with a person you really actually don’t know. I know infatuation and wanting the best things to happen are both one hell of a drug, but please try to keep your head screwed on. Sometimes people try to sweep others off their feet because they know the other party will fall in love and then be easier to manipulate. Actions speak louder than words, so take your time and make sure that anyone you date is following through on what they tell you they will do. And if it becomes clear they have no intention of keeping their word, then you know what to do. Be honest about what you want and look for honesty in return.This applies to everything. Be cautious, but approach things with a spirit of cautious optimism; bad things are out there, and you want to be able to spot them.

Never settle. There are so many people out there you could meet and potentially love. You deserve far better than settling for someone you don’t even like. Yes, in real life people are human and nobody’s perfect. Even a good potential partner will have flaws and weaknesses; all couples have disagreements or things they don’t see eye to eye on. But overall, you should genuinely like and care about the person you are seeing, and feel that you get along with them well. And that you can raise things with them without it turning into a massive blowout row. You know what? My married friends don’t live a different life from my friends cheerfully ‘living in sin’; both types generally seem to have solid partnerships with the odd misunderstanding or argument, but overall make a good team.  Marrying didn’t make my friends’ relationships any different; they had to be strong and compatible to begin with. There is no prize for getting married; the prize is the person. If the person isn’t that great, wellp, what are you doing marrying them? Although I can’t quite disabuse myself of the romantic notion that marriage would be a lovely thing (Ugh, there’s a romantic somewhere inside me after all), I really do resent how important it is viewed as. Because people feel pressured to tick a box, rather than pick a person.

Only date because you want to. Not because your friends all paired up and tell you that you need a girlfriend. Not because your mum is worried you'll end up alone. Not because you feel like that's what everyone else does when they are your age. Many of my friends have gone through long periods being single; I can’t even describe myself as an oddity. Generally in society? Yes, that’s probably freakish. But in medical circles? We seem to have the wholes singleton thing going on, as a cohort.  Date because you want to meet prospective partners; whether flings or something more serious; whatever rocks your boat. It can be a fun pasttime or full of anxiety and stress; it depends very much on what you get out of it. Be prepared; it can shake your self-esteem by digging up feelings about why previous relationships didn’t work, or all the times you felt rejected and unloved. There will be rejection; that’s an interent part of dating; online or otherwise. Dating makes being single feel more raw, somehow, because you’re making the effort to look and acknowledging you want something different at this point in time. So you have to be ready and in the right mindset to weather it.

You always have the right to change your mind. If someone is not right for you, it is better to be gently honest. It’ll be sad and one or both of you might feel hurt, but it’ll turn out for the best. Staying with someone because you are afraid to hurt their feelings is ultimately not fair on them or yourself.

You don’t have to meet anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable. Only talk to people who you are enjoying talking to. Only agree to meet people who you genuinely want to meet. Occasionally, I’d realise someone made me uncomfortable and I just couldn’t bring my self to meet them and then I would feel really guilty about it, even if I dreaded the thought of meeting them or they gave me awkward creepy vibes. You don’t need to feel guilty for just not wanting to meet someone. If someone seems nice enough but you just aren’t interested, be polite. Imagine how many rejections everyone gets. But you don’t need to see them out of pity. I didn’t want people to feel like nobody ever replied, so I tried to respond to the reasonable looking people. I found that plenty of guys were very sweet about the polite rejections I sent out. I didn’t bother being quite so heartfelt with the copy pasted “hello gorgeosuee ;)” people, but then, with such low effort, I didn’t think they’d expect much, and honestly I didn’t want to reward poor behaviour. Whereas when it came to people who wrote really nice messages, I wanted them to realise that they were doing really well. And if anyone gives you the creeps, listen to that instinct. sure, you might miss out on someone great, but that’s better than meeting someone feeling like you’re about to get murdered, or finding that the creepy vibes you were picking up were right. Absolutely use your blocking privileges if you have to. Report anyone who is inappropriate. You have every right to feel safe.