#and you dont know these guys! literally only know their personas and what they show us lol! or rather what hybe shows us

[bugflies00]

i have so many thoughts about the tommy song/video and theyre a jumbled mess. i wouldnt call this an analysis this is just. most of my thoughts surrounding the video and what it shows about tommy

one of the things that stuck out to me (outside of how depressing and just like. is this guy okay) is something that ive always respected tommy for because he's always stuck with it and its his like. fervent conviction in people doing things theyre passionate about. thats always been one of the things he talks about all the time!!!

when AI started appearing he was talking about death of creativity, with the internet he's always talking about how the real tragedy is the algorithm killing people's passion by driving them with views and money, and even when he talks about youtube itself, and nowadays standup, its so full of passion.

and i think thats really important because it would be extremely easy for someone like tommy, who's in the process of maturing his online image from a very loud, immature and PASSIONATE persona, to make fun of it. it would be so easy to do like so many other creators and laugh at how "cringe" it was and make a quick cash/attention grab with a funny clip of him laughing at himself. but he never has. well don't get me wrong he's laughed at himself or old videos but it's always just. good natured taking the piss out of himself, it's never this like. mocking your younger self who was so excited to do what they did only because now its "cringe".

not only is he constantly giving that advice to other people (its been years of him replying, to any kid in his chat or donations asking advice on how to be a creator etc, "just go and do it if you love it!!"), he's coherent with how he applies it to himself. he realised he was making cash grab tiktok react vids and hated it so much he just stopped uploading for a while.

i dont know i just think there's something admirable about being able to still be sincere in a time where everything especially online has to be processed through a layer of irony. and its even funnier because he's more sincere THROUGH the irony i mean he's literally going into standup.

letting yourself create something that "means" something is fucking hard especially when half the internet still sees you as a kid who screams around. except the thing is that kid DID make stuff that mattered and that meant something because he was, in his own words, having fun.

i think thats what the format of the video was about too. i mean i think it was pretty clearly not a song thats meant to be streamed, its not purely music, its also a video because tommy is also first and foremost an editor who went to film college. its also not a "comedy" song like he's made some before, because those were all intentionally created to land as many jokes and make a big buzz— which doesnt mean they were bad! im philza is a contemporary lyrical masterpiece. but they had a specific purpose and it was to make people laugh and i think this video was completely like. opposite of what peoples expectations are of tommy. the "wow hes not a child anymore hes being mature🤓" reactions are the most obvious aspect of this (which, like, its been a while, get with the program).

i think the point of this was to make something that genuinely meant something but that was also like. as unpalatable to the algorithm and to the TommyInnit Viewer as possible. even now that he's gone into making quieter, more reflective videos, we've never had the flashing texts and the projector images and just all of that. hes always talking about how he hates the way the "youtube formula" has dictated the course of content and stolen all creativity for youtubers. its not meant to be a YouTube Video tm. its just meant to mean something to someone, and obviously process some sort of personal emotions, and i just think thats. yeah. yeah

i mean he even says so outright. "this needless, self indulgent spiral of self gratification" is pretty damn explicit. its not meant to be funny content its really a cry for help or for just. anything at all really

it was also a lot about perception, yknow the "entertainer" dilemma, "its all attention porn"... theres a layer of this point thats universal, everyone struggles with how they're perceived and i think any "artist" or "entertainer" figure can see themselves in it, but there's also a layer thats completely impermeable to most of us because it touches upon the sheer absurdity of a "youtuber". especially one of tommy's popularity. especially one who blew up so so fast so young. i honestly think its IMPOSSIBLE to process that. its about the ethics of having millions of people's time so readily available to you if you just press the right buttons to make the algorithm happy and then you've got them. im like 75% sure i remember him saying this on stream once, something like "your time is valuable" and if a fan didnt value him as an entertainer they should drop him.

and even here^ thats the saddest "lmao" ive seen in my life SORRY LOL but its really just. yeah im not gonna repeat myself it speaks for itself. perception and internet expectations and all that

one of the other images that stuck out to me was also this:

"yeah i know its too much like bo burnham but it wont be in a year though. in a year it will be like tom simons. just let me figure out what that means, ok?"

a lot of the video is about. influences and inspirations. the bo burnham references are so obvious he's poking at them, but i think he's raising a good point about the creativity that he's constantly praising. its never something that springs up on its own, its all about looking at others work and making it your own and feeding yourself with all those experiences and slowly, surely building your own way of doing things (tommyinnit "minecraft talent show" and "a tribute to dream smp" serial quackity + schlatt impersonator would know all about that) ->

and its daunting! its fucking scary to move away from that! which is also the main vibe i got from the video which, outside of his own issues with how he's perceived online, was the sort of existential dread that comes with actually creating. its one thing to preach you need to be passionate and create, its another to sit down and create something thats BY you. its a part of growing up! and we're literally seeing him do it live (well the bits that he chooses to show obviously)! thats also part of why i think tommy's so relatable to so many people is that he's so like. honest and real about what it's like to grow up, simple as that, and growing into yourself.

"this was everything to me" and using the picture of his younger self... man. theres obviously so much sadness underlying the whole thing but i think the nostalgia and melancholy in mourning being someone who was only inspired/excited by your interests and role models is universal. and obviously for tommy a lot of those influences turned out. well i think it was pretty damn clear who/what he was referring to here. ->

i don't think i need to go too in detail about that, especially cause a lot of the video was clearly a way to process his own personal emotions. especially with those next few images. i just hope he's okay and that god doubles his pain and gives it to mr beast to quote my friend bronzetomatoes. man.

of course he had to end with a funny clip about a hot anime girl and i think that kinda. sums it all up in a way. if that makes sense. at the end of the day its about the fact that he has to use humour to make the thing work when its out in the open, even when he tries not to and to be actually honest, but theres also the fact that hes literally a comedian and creating something "honest" IS through humor. its kindof a double edged sword

right well that was my jumbled mess of psychoanalysing tommyinnit i hope he is alright and all that because well that was. something

[catfishofoldin99colours]

'why are there freaks in the hermitshipping tag!' for one we're playing with a Very loose concept of them being characters at all considering they're just doing letsplays and not actually putting any spin on their real personalities or interactions which makes any and all 'character interactions' barely half a degree away from RPF already so like. Maybe start there ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[vantekoo]

have to rant/vague post ignore

[dealingdreams]

Qimir's motivations might be a little uncertain. Like all we really know for sure is what he's told us. He wants freedom, freedom to be allowed to practice his power as he sees fit, he wants an acolyte, and he wants the power of two. That said, here just my thoughts.

I think when Mae was asking Qimir about his master aka him, he was actually answering her with some truths about his actual master Plagueis. "He collects people...i owe him" etc...best lies have some truths. Which i have concerns cause we know Palps ends up being Plagie's apprentice and later murderer. Plags did go thru some folks before he found the perfect fit for his world domination plan.

Qimir just doesn't really strike me as someone who is power hungry tbh. i know we techically dont know him well enough yet...but i mean the dude really only attacks when he's threatend. he seems more wounded animal than sith mastermind. so why the power of two...why an acolyte? i think his speech about an acolyte killing the dream...is in relation to how the Jedi at this point in time are the authority on teaching younglings how the force works. they say how and if that power can be used, even going so far as to say that without their teachings, your connection to the force weakens. so having someone showing force capabilites without being a Jedi is kinda a slap in the face to that teaching. Especially if that person can kill a Jedi without the use of a weapon. Like damn..the Jedi aren't that powerful after all yaknow. I think it's just a big fuck you to the Jedi tbh.

He's just wants to be a hot philosophy professor guys

As for the power of two, that is basically the Sith end all be all. He's not a Sith Lord yet...he hasn't taken/been given a name. I really think the only reason he would want the power of two is for his safetly...again he reads as wounded and lost to me...not power hungry. A lot of his choices seem to be made with whatever happened with Vernestra in mind. His shoto blade, which is similar to a saber Luke had in the comics(?) i think...was built to block lightsaber whips. His helmet blocks a Jedi's ability to read his mind or sense him fully. Add in the genuine fear on his face when he sensed Vern...something happened there and it left him so wrecked it's still effecting him all these years later.

Now here is where i think he's fucked.

I do think that he cared about Mae. In fact i think he wanted Mae to succeed and had she not betrayed him I do think he would have continued to train with her. I do also think that he was interested in Osha from the jump, but i dont think at any point he would have tossed Mae to the side for Osha. I think this for the same reason I dont think Qimir was trying to replace Mae with Osha. I think he sees the twins as very different people and has a very different dynamic with them. I think he seized the opportunity with maybe pulling Osha to his side...weither he would have done that had Mae remained his pupil who knows.

Qimir and Mae's dynamic is basically In-Laws lol.

I joke but no i think there was a distance between Qimir and Mae. There was a power imbalance between them. Simply master and pupil. Why he never showed her his face we could only guess. Personally I think it was a combination of him not trusting Mae fully and in case she got caught and a Jedi like Sol or Vernestra went into her Mind. He was simply protecting himself once again. Still he created the persona of Qimir to be a companion to Mae. He still taught her, still assisted her, but did it in an unitimitating way. So yeah I think he cares about Mae. Also just fyi, no I don't think he would have killed her when he found her and Osha at the tree in the aftermath of Sol's death.

So back tho to how he's fucked...Osha...hopefully literally fucked by Osha in the future but also like...he's fucked lol. He never had the choice with showing Osha his face, but he did have a choice on how vulnerable he was with her. We know from literally everyone confirming it that he wasn't manipulating her. He felt a connection to her, felt like she would understand him and he could understand her. That they were the same. I dont for one second see a power imbalance playing out between them. I think many of his actions prove that he views her as his equal. So thats one of the many ways he's fucked. the rule of two doesnt like that very much so i think Plagie might have some issues with that.

I think i could see them like playing master and pupil cause it's safer that way...but honestly they are fucked truly.

anyways ending the rant kinda abruptly lol :P

[corviiids]

sparknotes for chapter 9 of as you like it because a very kind commenter asked for a breakdown and if theres one thing im good at it's breaking down

(spoilers for the fic obviously)

tihs chapter gave me so much trouble. i sat on it for so long i literally hated it by the time i posted it but im starting to forgive it now. it was, as ive said, originally way longer, and the next part of the fic was supposed to be the second half of this one... but it was starting to get absurd and i realised that neither part would have the weight i needed them to have if they were lumped in together. (with some relief, honestly, because i kind of had wanted them to be separate initially but didn't think they'd be long enough. i dont know myself very well.) anyway, the next chapter should be a bit of a doozy now although hopefully not SO absurdly long.

this chapter picks up where the previous cliff hung off, which is to say, after the 'shadow' akechi reveals that he's actually just the real ass guy. akechi in the palace what will he do. the chapter doesn't immediately kick off with ren's reaction though and that is because ren is the most repressed man alive and does not know how he feels about it.

so, akechi disguised himself to enter his palace, which is significant for a few reasons:

1. he's disguised as himself

which i think is ironic in a fun way, but it's also just a very basic nod to the fact that akechi pivots between which of his personae is his default. this isn't necessarily super meaningful, but he does later refer to the black mask suit as

a costume, instead of an outfit. i mean, don't read into it too much, he's just talking, but i did think that probably points to how he feels about his appearance generally.

2. more importantly, his disguise involves taking off his mask.

so he's disguised, yes, and he's disguised as himself, yes, but that disguise is a literal unmasking, which is also kind of ironic. in presenting himself this way he has literally and figuratively made himself vulnerable. they're inside his heart, and the entire time he's in the palace, he is exposed... again both literally and figuratively because he also starts sharing more with ren than he ever has. look, i just think it's fun to have a character who has so many layers that he has to lie so hard that he becomes himself again.

i only want to point this out because (this is also part of larger meta about mona lol) akechi knew about the metaverse, but there is no way to intuit the method of stealing hearts without guidance. it's such a specific and involved process. thje most akechi could work out on his own was that if you killed a shadow, that person would have a mental breakdown. no way to guess that if you send a calling card and then go in within the next 24 hours and take a physical manifestation of a thing that you didn't know existed (process) would lead to that person ahving a change of heart (result). so even if akechi had a palace and knew about it, even if he wanted to do something about it, he would have assumed there was nothing he could do about it - i also have no idea what the process would be for sending yourself a calling card, even if he DID know about the process. so basically in this fic akechi found his palace and just assumed that was it. he was like, fucked up lol. anyway

this just straight up isn't true HAHA so i put in the silly little dichotomy of akechi gently taking ren's arm to protect him from slipping on the ice while telling him that he lied about caring about him. i think in this chapter as akechi begins to openly explain more and more of his thought process, this is probably the first truly clear glimpse you get of exactly what akechi's distortion is and how deep it runs.

the things akechi says with total conviction in this chapter are just... not true, not a fair or founded way to view the world (or the art of performance haha), but he says them with total conviction, and hopefully it should show off how unreliable he is as a source of exposition. one commenter asked about this moment of akc's eyes going yellow and if it was somehting that happened in canon - not really, i was just thinking about those little moments in the game after you send a calling card where the game cuts from the person to their shadow to do a little oneliner about their distortion.

akechi's IN his own palace, so i thought it would be fun to kind of make it a physical thing that can happen to him where he sort of merges with his shadow for a brief second in the moments when the distortion is strongest.

OKAY this is one of my favourite bits of the chapter HAHA the deep soda lore. i dont expect anyone to remember all the way back to chapter 3 but:

literally nobody asked about this but i love the phantom thieves!!! i dream of all the little silly moments of being a team that they must have that we don't get to see in gameplay, for obvious reasons of it wouldn't really work in a game, but i can imagine them in my brain. i can imagine their trickshot contests that get their asses kicked. i can imagine them chanting at each other to chug while joker and oracle compete to down an entire bottle of brand neutral mountain dew baja blast. i can dream.

soda lore is gay.

i dont honestly think it's inherently a bad thing necessarily but this part does kind of set up like... you can see akechi very early on in life forming this worldview that the truth isn't always what you want, you know? this was a 'lie' he and his mother both bought into, they both knew what the truth actually was, so it wasn't real dishonesty, but they just had this little fantasy. i just thought it would be fun for akechi to have a way to bond with his mother and feel closer to her, and that way is by buying into this white lie. idk

akechi's mother isn't really a character and i don't want to form her into too much of one because i think it's very much the point that, like... he made this point in an earlier chapter but having lost her at a pretty young age i think it's quite crucial that akechi doesn't really have a fully formed image of who his mother is outside of what she was to him as a child. so i actively don't want her to feel too real or defined. im not interested in making an oc out of her because i think it defeats the purpose. that said, this line exists to maybe gesture very vaguely at the notion that akechi's mother was a very bright person who similarly was stuck in circumstances that didn't serve to foster her real potential. just the image in my mind of a person who's clever enough to get across algebraic notation in chess by flipping through a book in a few minutes, but was never exposed to the opportunity to learn chess until this moment in someone else's house, and also the particular situation of learning this skill WHILE at someone's place as a call girl, i dunno . i hope im treating this with the grace it deserves but i wanted to build just this particular image in vivid colour while also keeping the reality quite blurry and vague, just to give the reader a sense of where akechi came from while still preserving his limited pov.

my thoughts on the phantom thieves' methods (and how they compare to maruki) are definitely too long and involved to put into a post about this fic chapter specifically, but maybe one day. i also wanna stress im not like... strictly anti-phantom thief or anti-heartstealing lol but i do have thoughts about the philsophy of it and the thieves' hypocrisy WHATEVER that's not for this post. i bring this up only to crow about finding a way to bring up the experience machine (ie maruki's reality) in this fic without it being royal compliant and have it be... hoepfully... sufficiently relevant to the plot. wa hoo! the experience machine came up for the first time back in chapter 4 and im just delighted that i finally got to close that loop. by the way, that experiment is also called the lotus eater machine after the lotus eaters in the odyssey! i dunno that it's actively my favourite thought experiment but it's definitely up there and i think about it a lot.

TITLE DROP

i think i spoke once about what 'as you like it' means. it's obviously the name of the shakespeare play from where 'all the world's a stage' comes, but it has a couple more layers to it as well - akechi's palace is a place where he performs to what he believes other people want or need to see from him - so his appearance is as you like it. and his accusation of the thieves' heartstealing methods is that they twist a person's internal reality to suit their vision - that's the meaning he's taking here, claiming that joker is turning akechi into an unfamiliar new thing, as [joker] like[s] it. you get it.

this running joke of ren really hating vents wasn't something i planned but im attached to it now. prayer circle for his knees

ive basically given up on making sense of samerecarm, which is par for the course for any rpg or video game really where reduction to 0hp/revival are mechanics. like, im inclined to think 0hp is more equivalent to unconsciousness, because... well... otherwise it's pretty cold that they left akechi dead in the engine room without even looking for a way around the wall. lol. but one of mona's revival lines is 'being dead isnt easy!' or something like that, so i kind of just give up and assume it's video game logic you'r enot meant to look at too hard lol. the way i reconcile it for my purposes is to say it's a sort of metaverse-exclusive state of being which is not quite dead but sort of in a limbo state wher eyou can be brought back with specific revival magic, which i refer to as being down. that's uhhh, that's different from the battle status of down... which you get after being hit with a crit/technical/weak skill... look, don't think about it. joker in crow's arms.

this is literally meaningless i just wanted to include a cameo of my very favourite persona q2 battle theme.

[orionsangel86]

Listening to The Sandman Audible again and I can't help but think about a few interesting choices made including:

1. Hob and Dream have absolutely ZERO chemistry. Like there is nothing there at all. I physically can NOT ship Audible Hob and Dream the actor playing Hob is just far too Straight and kinda annoying #sorrynotsorry. I've listened to Hob's scenes with Dream in Audible a few times now for my Dreamling meta essay and its literally a zero on the chemistry front. There is nothing compelling there I'm afraid.

2. However Dream and Lucifer have amaaazing chemistry and its honestly difficult to listen too WITHOUT assuming they had a fling back in the old days. Its implied in the comics, but imo they went pretty heavy in this (clearly Michael Sheen knows all about getting fans to ship his characters lol).

3. Titania x Dream is confirmed in Audible. They talk about how they slept together in A Midsummer Nights Dream (I checked and this isn't in the comic and Titania refuses to talk about her relationship with Dream in The Wake so its only ever implied until the Audible show). This officially makes Titania the only confirmed ex lover Dream is actually still on good terms. Something worth exploring in our meta analysis perhaps?

4. What the hell happened in Babylon? Okay so do y'all remember Pharamond? The transportation guy who helps Dream and Delirium travel on Earth? Yeah I barely paid attention to him in the comic, but in the Audible show he's like a super simp for Dream. I dunno if its just me but the chemistry between them is heady... like with Lucifer I get a strong impression that something went down between them and I'm just gonna go ahead and consider "we drank wine together in Babylon" a euphemism from now on.

5. Furry Porn...? I am absolutely dyyying to know how Netflix plans to portray Lady Bast, and Dream when Lady Bast sees him, because they dont have a lot of options tbh. Either they pull a Doctor Who cat people thing (which is always gonna look clunky and low budget) or they do some form of uncanny valley style CGI (prob the most likely option) or they just go full furry outfits (the funniest option imo however unlikely). Either way though, the Audible show turns up the heat. I love the voice actress for Bast, she totally leans in to the sexy kitten persona - like Cat Woman but extra furry and in heat. I wanna see the cat lady totally come on to Tom's Dream and see his reaction to her propositioning him whilst he has a cat face. Do NOT chicken out Netflix. You better lean into the extra weird even if it does end up looking like furry porn. I wanna see it, and I'm not even a furry! 😅

6. The Goddess of Love in the strip club - honestly HOW are they gonna adapt this? Its difficult enough having to listen to Neil Gaiman's voice explaining in graphic detail how the men watched her dance whilst ejaculating over and over again until they were "cumming blood".

Also "you really don't like women do you?" One issue before "he's gotta stop hanging out with poets and stick with me, I'll set him straight."

Dream really isn't beating the gay allegations anytime soon lmao.

[gladosluver]

storytime/lore: i was followed home

IMPORTANT INFO: my region has no sidewalks, so to get home everyday i cross the roadway (legally) and 100% do not trespass at all. if i had a car to drive, i would, and if i could take the bus, i would, but public transport doesnt pass through this part. IF YOU HAVE A CAR, YOU ARE USING IT. THERE IS NO REASON YOU SHOULD BE WALKING AROUND WHERE I LIVE.

okay onto the story now... my school is in another region so a bus brings me from there to another school, and i walk from that school to my house (about 10 min walk). today while going home i was waiting to cross the VERY BUSY street, and i see an all black LARGE VAN stop 40-50m away from where i was and this guy, also dressed in all black, steps out. and he started walking MY direction

(artist rendition below. thats my ugly persona btw i dont look that nice. those are also my beautiful eyes <3 sorry for staring into them without permission.........)

now like.. thats so weird. SO WEIRD. theres no reason you should be walking when YOU HAVE A CAR. ive lived here for at least 7 years and i have only seen someone walk on this road ONCE.

since i wait right next to the road im 1-2m away from oncoming traffic. its dangerous. now im waiting for all the cars to pass so i can (legally) cross the street, and at this point this random guy is like 20m away. luckily all the cars passed and i (legally) ran fast as hell across. i walked about 3 blocks before turning around and HES STILL FUCKING THERE. WALKING ON THE OTHER SIDE. PICKING UP THE PACE AND LOOKING AT ME.

this was in BROAD DAYLIGHT. additionally there was an event going on IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL where LAW ENFORCEMENT came over to educate the kids and was showing them different police cars, fire trucks, etc. WHY ATTEMPT TO FOLLOW ME WHEN THE POLICE ARE RIGHT THERE??

so i texted my friends. i have 2 irl friends i talk to outside of school. ive got like 5 irl friends in total so there wasnt really anyone else i could cry for help to, since my parents are at work for most of the day and night, and i have almost no living relatives here

about 4 blocks from my house i pass an intersection that goes into another neighbourhood where there was a someone in a car waiting for their kid to be dropped off. i speed-walked 3 blocks down and when i turned around there was ANOTHER RANDOM ASS GUY at the intersection looking in my direction. he looked like he was being yelled at by the guy in the car (i guess he suspected he was following me). the intersection is also at the top of a hill with some trees in the way, so when he looked away I RAN FAST AS HELL ACROSS THE ROAD.

i didnt even care that there were 6 cars coming from either side. i just thought "if i get hit, i get hit. if its my time to go then so be it" but halfway through i remembered something. you wanna know what i fucking remembered? what made me break out into a SPRINT? i have undiagnosed health problems that make walking up STAIRS a challenge, and i you wanna know why i started SPRINTING AS FAST AS I COULD? i remembered that stupid danganronpa dub. i thought of how disappointed everyone would be if i literally got kidnapped and never got to finish it. so i ran. i ran home. i got inside, shaking and panting heavily, which didnt stop for hours, but at least i was safe. at least i could finish it. my true purpose....... dubganronpa...

the reason i took to tumblr was because i literally had nobody else to tell. again, i know like. 5 people. i worded this post so cryptically because i didnt want anyone to be concerned if i just blurted out "SOMEONES FOLLOWING ME I THINK THEY MIGHT KIDNAP ME" so i said it discreetly and kinda goofy so yall would KNOW something was up, but in a half-serious half-joking way cuz thats how i cope with awful strange events in my life

it left me with so many questions.. why would you stop next to a busy road to walk somewhere when you have a car CLEARLY available? theres people who like <1 minute away from the school who use cars because walking is so dangerous. the only reason i walk is because I LITERALLY HAVE NO OTHER OPTION. walking anywhere in my region is BEYOND a last resort. hell, ive contemplated driving illegally before i decided on walking home.

i cant even think of anything i did wrong to get followed by some strangers. to my knowledge, i havent done anything to piss anyone off since first year. why me? what do I have that YOU want.. i just dub danganronpa anime and give it more homoerotic undertones.. is that really a crime?

now that im thinking back on the incident i realize i did have a few certain long sharp objects in my bag that i cannot name here (for self defense and also art supplies) AND MY BAG WEIGHTS ALMOST 3 KILOS?? IF I WHIPPED THAT AROUND AND HIT SOMEONE I THINK IT WOULD DO SOME DAMAGE

anyways im safe. for now. this weekend is going to be spent emailing my school asking them to make a bus stop at my house since the bus literally PASSES my house on the way to the school. i dont live in a neighbourhood, i live on the side of the road. its right there. why cant they drop me off man

GLADOSLUVER OUT

[ridiasfangirlings]

is sarumi toxic?? genuine question, i dont know if its just the way certain fanmanga that ive read portrays their relationship. i love the ship with my whole heart, dont get me wrong. ive read lost small world, finished rok and season 1 (halfway through season 2). consuming all kinds of k stuff, i personally dont see it toxic as certain people do (knowing that theyve already reconciled). im super confused on who to believe so here i am asking you

I will say to start that I’m not exactly a neutral third party here, even with me being a filthy multishipper Sarumi is still my ‘main’ ship. That said, I personally don’t consider them to be toxic as a ship. There are definitely elements of their relationship as presented that are not good and could certainly lead to toxicity, but that’s also pretty understandable considering Fushimi as a character is not a healthy person and isn’t equipped to deal with relationships in a healthy way. If we look at, say, only season one Sarumi is a vacuum there’s certainly room to call it toxic, with the way Fushimi interacts with Yata by drawing out all his negative feelings and deliberately goading him into physical violence, but thankfully there’s a lot more to their relationship than episode five of season one.

When you consider the side materials the series is pretty clear that Fushimi’s actions stem from him being an abused and neglected child who clung to the one person who ever showed him affection and who has no idea how to handle things that other people would consider easy. When they join Homra and Fushimi doesn’t feel like he fits in he starts to assume a lot of things, that Yata’s leaving him behind, that he’s going to be rejected, because up until he met Yata Fushimi’s entire life has been him being rejected by the world around him and rejecting the world in turn because it’s his only method of coping. When he burns his Homra tattoo in front of Yata it’s a move intended to hurt them both, because the only way Fushimi knows of to break something that he loves is to do it spectacularly — Fushimi himself can’t break what he cares about so he takes on the persona of the person who could, of the guy who can flawlessly destroy what Fushimi Saruhiko loves every time. Fushimi is so afraid of losing his precious friendship with Yata that he feels like he has to be the one to break it first in order to save himself the pain of losing it. This is a toxic mindset but also a totally understandable one in the context of Fushimi’s character. 

Obviously Fushimi’s way of dealing with his emotions is not healthy but he’s not a healthy person, that’s well established. Are a lot of Fushimi’s problems of his own making? Very much so. Does he really owe Yata an apology for being a dick all this time? Also yes. But Fushimi’s actions are also very understandable due to his upbringing, and Yata himself says that Fushimi is trying to be better — “You have a sense of guilt.” Fushimi’s relationship with Niki is a toxic one because Niki is abusing him and literally doesn’t care about the trauma he’s inflicting on his kid. Fushimi on the other hand is well aware of what he’s inflicting and tries very hard not to care, while still not being able to let go of Yata and still occasionally letting his mask slip (how he has difficulty dealing with a grieving Yata post-S1 for example, and how he still helps Yata in Missing Kings) and ultimately, Fushimi knows what he did was wrong and he and Yata start to reconcile. They aren’t a perfect pure and unproblematic uwu ship but I don’t consider them to be toxic just because Fushimi dared to be mentally ill, the Sarumi I ship isn’t the one where they hate each other and where Fushimi’s still constantly cruel to Yata, it’s the one where they make up and recognize their mistakes and Fushimi starts on a healing path that includes recognizing what he did to Yata and in his own fumbling way trying not to do it again even though it’s difficult for him. (And also frankly if someone does like the toxic version of them go for it, you do you. I really hate how people tend to throw around the word ‘toxic’ as some kind of forbidden brand, like if a ship is not perfect and healthy and wondrous it shouldn’t be shipped. Ship your fictional characters any way you want, as long as you tag things properly! Be free of the need to be judged!)

[sunset-bridge]

P3 THOUGHTS NOW

THANK. sorry it took me a bit i was in the Horrors BUT IM JOE BACK..

OK SO . just. collection of thoughts i had these last days about p3. also sorry for being an ocd haver . evrything is about anxiety to me but i think im not misinterpreting things

my thoughts with some p3 spoilers under cut (I MEAN IT OK dont read if . spoilers)

The evoker:

it makes sense cuz its like staring death (fear) in the face every day to live (use your persona) it forces the user to face their fear in a way that seems very Real to their brain but . it wont actually Kill you it never does even if it feels like it Will . like. controlled shock of Dread to call your little guy out and its probably needed actually like the. fear. if u didnt feel fear while using the evoker ur persona probably wouldnt come out at all Something about being alive.

Fear(the dread):

how fear shows that ur Alive. and thats like the main thing. we all know dread of death in specific is the theme in p3. but its also about how to deal with the Dread (dread about. anything in general) Like in burn my dread, how it says that the daily dance of fighting with the shadows (shadows being your. fears and unconscious) reminds you that you still live. And how aigis first real Human Emotion was fear and Dread. Something about how only things that are alive and have a soul can feel fear and bleed. Etc etc

also noting how everyone (yuka, junpei, akihiko, mitsuru, ken, shinji, koro, fuuka...literally everyone) faces their fear of death or their own type of dread at some point. and they all react differently. because everyones different. but they are all alive. and thats wonderful.

Tartarus and shadows :

ok hear me out. this may be more specific to ocd havers BUT ALSO. ocd its doubting anxiety disorder. i definetely feel dread about stuff and . the fear of death in particular is like a Theme you can have in ocd. so. to me! tartarus... its life. life arena. as i said. like in burn my dread. the daily dance with your anxiety and fears. YOU HAVE to confront them if you want to keep living . BUUUUT I REALIZED! i understand! you know how SEES at first fought and tried to defeat the big shadows, and they thought this could end the whole thing? but it turned out thats exactly what nyx and ikutsuki wanted to happen? THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. trying to fight and "defeat" and antagonize your dread to try to "get rid of it forever". it does not work. not like that. in fact, arguing with it Fighting with it. it only wears you down and makes your Dread stronger. exactly what happened. the team tried to combat and "erase" the fears, but they only made them unite and become stronger in the process.

so then what? just ignore them..? NOPE

the real way (real)(the real)(not the ideal):

As a verified ocd and Dread(tm) haver. You have to acknowledge the thought. dont cover ur ears and pretend its not there. BUT ALSO dont argue with it. dont try to combat it; it only wears you down and makes the fear stronger next time. Acknowledge it exists. And move on with your life without interacting further with it. Dont obsess over it. Wayyyy easier said than done, but . This is where the burning the dread comes in. Burn your fucking dread and keep walking even if you're so scared.You WILL BE so scared but you have to keep running. If you want to see light again you cant just sit there. keep moving keep living keep running. with the dread? yes do things scared but DO THEM! Your fears cant get the best of you, they cannot prevent you from living in the first place!

With death in particular, its a bit tricky, because this is one fear that is True and Inevitable. You will die. BUT the dread shouldnt paralyze you into not living at all in the first place! Again way easier said than done when you have a death anxiety and obsession. But the process is the same. acknowledge. move on. keep living. the dread will come . Burn it. keep walking and walking and walking and lose yourself in the present and keep running and never stop moving.

burn my dread final battle (i love the song):

ok it gets its own section.. I LOVE THIS DAMN THING...i also love normal burn my dread tons but like. this one ooooooh boy.

its no mans land. (the dread) if you conquer this you will be king cuz no ones ever been here like you been here before. its daunting but you can do it. invisible hands (your friends) are always behind you.

the "race against rage" SO TRUE race against trying to "fight" the thoughts the fears.

what sees did fighting the shadows WAS in vain as we have seen. but this show isnt over yet. and it does feel like ur being chased by something beyond you. (the dread) (you gotta live it persecuted by heaven)

the anxiety. it comes from nowhere at any time (comes from the direction no indication). but as mr lotus juice says. let it move first. let it out let it loose. just . let it do its thing dont even argue with it. let the dread wash over you. drop the hammer. dont fight remember? dont argue.

get scared. then lets get it up! keep living. the best thing you can do to put your methaphorical middle finger to the dread is to . keep living . enjoying things. it feels so straining at times BUT it will get better . you are all beaten up but you're not gone yet no. not done here. get up and at em boy!

pride of the living :

id like to close my thoughts with the idea once more of. fear reminds us we are alive. it sucks ass but its a part of living and personally i. never felt more alive as when i realized i feel fear because I AM human and I AM alive. dead things dont feel fear. objects dont feel fear. its such an. alive creature thing. of course you feel fear. dont be tough on yourself. but again. regardless. you cant let it paralyze you into not living at all. keep running !

[your-local-uwu-artist]

(i could be wrong since its been forever since ive watched the movie), but it think that was the point of the metaphor. if you peel off the layers of an onion, you'd still find more onion--it doesn't change no matter how deep you look into it. Shrek was saying that no matter how much you try and look deep into an ogre, they'd still be the same. he was saying that he doesn't have any sort of specialness deep down inside of him; that he is exactly like how he is, both inside and out. if you kept peeling him, you'd still find the same ogre-ness to him, just like how if you kept peeling an onion, you'd still only have the same onion, nothing new or special different

First of all anon, thankyu for casually spashing in actually intelligent insight as a response to my comedically toned shitpost /gen /pos (being able to take silly things seriously is like, one of the first steps to a good media analysis) also sharing your thoughts can make some people feel all shy so I feel you deserve a thumbs up for having the courage to hit that send button >:3

Okay so I did some googling and I do think that the initial assumption of like, outer layer, inner self, is probably the intended meaning:

But I defintly think your onto something anon :o and lowkey explained it better than the articles I speed read nshdjsn

Anyway this is completely on the fly rambles so ill try to bullet point it and put it under a cut sense I'm writing off the top my mind and dont know how long it'll be

-i definitely think the way you explained the idea makes a lot more sense to Shrek's characterization, It doesn't seem like it was trying ti insinuate that there was something particularly special about whats under the layer, just that there is more to him than the outer layer

-it did seem that it was trying to express something about outer appearance and stereotypes but probably not in the manner my blunt autistic brain takes metaphors so literally

-so onion metaphors in general do exist theoretically before Shrek and in general it is used to convey multiple layers around one core, and apparently "peeling the layers of the onion" is seen as a metaphor for like, personal growth and dealing with deep buried problems in your life, not sure if the second ones relevant but idk maybe someone can find a tie in

-so I'm guessing the layers of the onion is either like, how much somebody sees of you, or the persona that you show on the outside, I'm not sure which one is more fitting or neither or both, but I guess the idea is that like, someone may seem rude and cold on the outside but behind that outer layer there's other aspects to this person, I suppose to tie in the its still the same, it could be argued that the outer layers are still a part of that person, it's just not hollow like some assume it to be, and if you peel back the layer its the fact that there is anything more than the outer layer that is signfigant

-i could see that approach to it making more sense since I think its trying to say something about stereotypes, I vaguely remember Shrek also saying that people will decide they dont like him when they barely know him

-in that case I guess you could try ti apply a similar metaphor to a real stereotyped group, like perhaps a gay man acts eccentric and fits those stereotypes and so people write him off as just the "gay best friend" and boil down his entire person to just that outer layer, it doesn't accur to them that the outer layer isn't just hollow, that there's anything underneath, and they might not think to try and peel it because they think they know the person based on only the outer layer, in which, I guess we can think of the core of the onion as that person at their purest, and by peeling back the layers your getting close to seeing that person for every aspect of who they are, so if you peel back the layers of this theoretically gay guy, yeah he still likes men but he also has this thing called a life and more than one personality trait

-i still find irony in that the idea is that by peeling back layers your seeing "more" to the person, sense peeling an actual onion makes it smaller

-but I the metaphor won't be perfect to its litteral counterpart...

-anyhow once again thanks for the message anon! I really enjoyed and appreciated hearing your thoughts and found them helpful in kinda like, how I tend to approach these kind of metaphors in general :DD I hope you have a lovely day and you deserve an apply juice box with some crackers for your contributions to society

[sassykinzonline]

sadly it’s the same person still, I have so many questions omg- ok so, if boruto was in your “universe” what would it be like? Would the kids still even be there?

Thoughts on shikamaru?

Another one, so we all should know, soulmates, how did it feel when u got that moon thing on your hand? While Naruto got a circle looking thing that looked like a sun.

if you were to choose, would u rather have 1 day with, young Naruto(before team 7) genin naruto(when team 7 started), shippuden naruto(when the war started) or hokage Naruto?

oh my god this ask actually made me moan in delight (not sexually, like eating a good tomato more like), these are amazing questions.

im going to assume you mean a sequel to shippuden that deals with our adult lives when you say "boruto", im not gonna craft a whole thing im just gonna kind of give you my important points:

the genre isnt baby kiddy shounen. theyre making a show for people who are adults now, the genre needs to be adult political thriller shounen. none of this aliens from space bullshit. this is why i mentioned legend of korra. as much as OG atla fans want to pretend it sucks, LOK is enduring because it understood the assignment of catering to the SAME fanbase but recognizing the CHANGE in demographics. just like ATLA, there are tons of political problems that need to be addressed by the end of "naruto", the answer to them cant be some gen X bullshit "welp what matters is that we know theyre problems~" thats fucking lazy and boring.

this means things like the hyuuga structue, Amegakure, reformation of the mist, reformation of the chunin exams, the "role" of shinobi, war orphans, recognition of past crimes against humanity including the genocide of the uchiha, the fascist nature of things like the ANBU and the political structure of konoha, etc. all these things need to be up for grabs.

in essence, we know that tobirama is responsible for all the infrastructure that makes the shinobi world complete shit. naruto needs to be the antithesis to that if hes to be hokage. i dont think he needs to be hokage to do that, so that can also be a plot point.

in terms of kids, im just gonna let shikatema rock even though i hate it. they can have kids right away if they want, i dont care. i thnk its weird that even though everyone got married at different times, we all ~happened~ to have kids the same year. i think its easier to deal with if some main cast kids are older than others because then you can have teams without building on side characters like moegi that didnt matter before and shouldnt matter now.

the one thing i think should remain the same, is that the driver of the plot should still be the evolution of my relationship with naruto. now that we found each other, how do we really find and achieve peace for ourselves?

thoughts on shikamaru?

i think hes a toxic incel who gets away with being a douchebag because he has a "stoic cool guy" persona. he never evolves on his views of women, he just marries the one woman who he sees as a "not like other girls" girl. hes never punished for his views either. he disrespects his teammate constantly who hes literally useless without. he only props up the guy on his team who is consistently a liability to them (and i mean im friends with choji and i think hes a good ninja but cmon) because hes a guy. i hate him. we are banned from 3 separate bars for fighting. yes the count has gone up. dont ask.

soulmate tats?

the best way i can describe it is.... you know that at base, naruto and i feel "for" each other in a strong way. we feel proud when the other is, sad when the other is, angry when the other is, what have you. thats part of deeply loving someone, but also something special i think we have going on. the tattoos felt like putting glasses on those feelings, or maybe a microscope? or an x-ray? i dont know? but all of a sudden it felt like you could see the red thread of fate itself, where exactly we need to put our feelings to bend reality itself, how our feelings can be used (for each other)...that sort of thing. kind of like unlocking the keys to the universe and learning how to use your muscles to mold the universe at the same time.

if you asking how it physically felt to receive them then no it wasnt like a tattoo, it felt like i guess when you scratch an itch or wake up suddenly after a long deep sleep? something like that? but thats me. im actually not sure if naruto feels differently, you can ask him.

if i could choose?

this question is crazy haha. if you could guarantee it wouldnt change the future and i could just spend the day in like a pocket dimension or something just for the experience....

i think i'd want to spend time with shippuden naruto so i could learn what i missed? thats the only time (i hope) that we would have been separated so.... and i know he would like to hear that everything went well with us. i'd like to see his face as i told him that, i bet hed be like "UGH WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 😳" heh.

2nd place goes to academy baby naruto because i want to derive energy from his...cute nature.

[faggvert]

I posted 205 times in 2022

32 posts created (16%)

173 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@aftersun2022

@milkcrisis

@thefoetusallnuderevue

@bastardiando

@lesbianjinbe

I tagged 192 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#pics - 94 posts

#phorustalk - 36 posts

#art - 31 posts

#tv tag - 28 posts

#one piece - 15 posts

#roronoa zoro - 9 posts

#video - 9 posts

#spn - 9 posts

#spnposting - 9 posts

#tvposting - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#i have a bunch of og posts (from march 2022 and prior) that arent tagged at all and ill go through and tag them another time

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

this show is so fucking funny. the winchesters are the only family ever that held the neurotypical child in a worse light than the very AutDHD one. “because i didn’t wanna bow-hunt or hustle pool because i wanted to go to school and live my life, which in our whacked-out family made me the freak.” like that’s hilarious. i just KNOW dean was getting a 60 or below in every class and his dad fucking loved him for it but sam gets straight As and Bs and his dad couldn’t give less of a shit. dean has never completed a piece of homework in his life but sam would always do his AND get it in on time and their dad discouraged sam’s way of thinking because he liked it better when they slacked off. dean’s only friends were other warriors cats kids and they were only friends for like a week because he was too weird even for them. sam made friends with or at least was acquainted with most of his classmates and that was seen as bad because he had less time to hunt monsters. literally magical.

6 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

#4

sorry for theaterposting but the the general impression i'm getting from the rtc fanbase is that not a lot of people like or agree with the idea of noel catfishing mischa but i for one am super on board with it. i think it's hilarious.

think of your high schools soundcloud rapper (there's at least one of them). you don't know him that well and he's got goofy ass rhymes and he's just a funny character. now imagine your school and town are small and insanely boring, and you're the only gay guy there. you're bored as fuck and one day on youtube you see one of this soundcloud rapper's videos in your recommended and you think "hey, wouldn't it be funny if i pretended to be a hot girl and trolled this guy?" so you do and it's funny and you keep it going for a while because what else do you have to do. then it's been a couple months and you realize this guy is super serious about this relationship and you don't want to end it because you're still having fun, and also because deep down you know it'll hurt him and you've kind of gotten to know him. he ends up proposing to you and you don't know what to do so you say yes and you guys are having cringy google translate internet sex on the regular and he starts talking about saving money to go to ukraine where you don't live to meet you and you realize there's no way to get out of this without him getting hurt. you're vaguely considering faking either your death or your catfish persona's death because you love drama. then you go on a choir trip and the guy is there so you do what you usually do and reply to his texts whenever he's not looking. then you fucking DIE and you're like, this sucks but at least i don't have to deal with that fake online relationship i got myself into.

and then you look over and he's there next to you.

7 notes - Posted December 11, 2022

#3

izzy hands is so workingclass bitter prolegirl mindsick cripplerage.

10 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#2

honestly from now on im considering it a hate crime to think of zoro as straight. and cis for that matter.

13 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i love ruining zoro for dudebros. you dont understand him like i do. i know that hes fat and trans and autistic and gay and mentally ill and disabled. but even more importantly i know he likes math.

14 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[wizard-finix]

I posted 855 times in 2022

That's 330 more posts than 2021!

9 posts created (1%)

846 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/mmmn-thristy-for-vinegar

@/sanshofox

@/princekirijo

@/kokorozo

@/crescentfool

I tagged 610 of my posts in 2022

Only 29% of my posts had no tags

#art - 241 posts

#p3 - 229 posts

#p5 - 85 posts

#p4 - 70 posts

#fma - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#prompt where everyone at gekkoukan knows about sees as that weird club and aigis being a robot but the number one rule is to not question it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

P3 PORT TO PC LETS FUCKING GOOOOO

3 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

#4

runed scape

OH SHIT LETS GO UHHH

blorbo (fave) - hard to pick but I'll go with vicendithas for this one

scrunkly (friend-shaped char) - seiryu or thok

scrimblo bimblo (underrated) - vicendithas, literally all of the dragonkin tbh

glup shitto (obscure fave) - Mr. Mordaut or Blackstone Dragon. you can sense the theme going on here

poor little meow meow (problematic fave) - lets be honest you dont get more problematic than sliske, he was a fun villain

horse plinko (torment for fun) - world guardian, obviously

eeby deeby (send to superhell) - zaros

3 notes - Posted February 10, 2022

#3

❤️ 💥 👻 🎁 :D

YOOO THANKS FOR THE ASK :D

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

Hmmm it's hard to settle on a single line, but I think it's a tie between this one, from Stygian Ringlet (my p3/p5 fic):

Ryoji remembered that awful night on the Moonlight Bridge, when his world fell apart. The night he remembered everything and instantly wished he hadn’t.

and this one, from a Runescape fic chapter I haven't posted yet:

“You know, I was planning on a nice evening playing cards with the rest of the crew,” Jaida said, still catching his breath. “But no, here I am, stuck in the temple in the middle of the night with you and the Scourge of Wushanko herself, with the only way out being blocked by an army of cultists, mercenaries, and giant crabs.”

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Ryuji's treatment in P5. I normally don't mind a character being comic relief, he does have some hilarious moments. The problem is that he had the potential to be a really good underdog-type character and have interesting character interactions with the others, but Atlus really did him dirty and squandered his character development by having the entire cast degrade him for the rest of the game. It worked for Yosuke in P4 because he tends to make those kinds of jabs at his friends and often brings it on himself, but it's a lot more one-sided with Ryuji. These people are supposed to be FRIENDS, guys. (I don't even need to say anything about the end of Shido's palace jfc)

(also Kawakami's social link and benefits are uncomfortable as hell so I never used them)

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

OH, THIS ONE. I DEFINITELY HAVE ONE FOR THIS QUESTION. My wildest headcanon:

Shinjiro's persona has a latent berserk ability somewhat similar to Akechi's, and absolutely no one realizes this, not even Shinjiro himself.

I will explain this one, so hear me out.

See the full post

5 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#2

I really think Chie’s character arc and social link was wasted, like dude her awakening showed that she dealt with feelings of jealousy and comparing herself to others and it was NEVER mentioned again

7 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

im gonna cry laughing tumblr mobile hit me dead on

17 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[abra-ka-dammit]

i used to super not understand OCxCanon shipping but seeing as how i started doing it i was wondering what changed from me playing ffxiv vs WoW and i think i figured it out (tl;dr will probably be "wow has mediocre writing")

i never really....liked WoW's canon characters. I mean, sylvanas is (was) cool and hot and ysera and alexstrasza too and i guess khadgar was cute for a second but i also just sorta dont give a rats ass about them. whatever happened in canon to them didnt matter to me one way or another aside from how/if it affected the main storyline.

so i figured there must be something different about the story characters in ffxiv that lets me Like them, right? and i guess this is kinda true of my feelings towards real life people as well, to a degree; the difference is, you get to KNOW them.

Using Aymeric as an example as he was my first Oh No I Love Him: while he is undoubtedly Hot (sesshomaru vibes, i have a few Types when it comes to animu boys kjfghjkkfj), i didnt really care about him at first, and actually thought he seemed kinda like a dick after the first handful of pre-HW interactions. lowkey figured he had to be one of those Secret Villains bc he has a Certain Look too lol but thats besides the point. anyways. as things progress, Aymeric becomes less The Commander Of The Temple Knights Character and becomes... a person. You get to see him have emotions, and speak casually, and care about things besides The War In The Plotline. You see him have friendships and connections and moral quandaries and regrets and he even Develops a little, in a way that is supported by the events youre actually shown and makes sense. so just like with Real Humans, I started to feel like i Knew Him, and because he also happens to be a delightful "person", I then Liked Him (seriously, not until like 1/4 of the way thru HW) so I could then accidentally get a crush on him

okay, so looking back at WoW. If I sit here and think about characters I Sorta Liked. There's that withering nightborne duder who helps you out with killing his fallen kin and then ends up falling too and we all were like NOOO about him. I guess I kinda liked him: he also had a Backstory that showed you what he Felt and what he Cared About because in order to make his little story arc tragic, they had to make us Feel for him, and Like him, so we'd actually be bummed out he dies. As u probably understand by now I cannot remember his name but that is less--RUNAS? IS THAT IT? literally mid sentence lol im not editing tho this is stream of conscious writing anyways yeah my memory is fucked up EITHER WAY; that guys just a one-off character. after that questline he becomes irrelevant, and we move on.

so who did i like who's actually like, a reoccurring character?? so, let's say, i guess, sylvanas. she's hot too (not as hot as aymeric sorry) and as usual, at first i didnt give a rats ass about her. mind u i didnt start playing until wrath and never played any of the RTS, so i didnt know her backstory for a while. once i eventually learned it, i finally felt a little sympathetic, but the recklessly deadly vengeance thing gets old pretty fast and they really didnt add anything of significance to her shown-in-game persona for a WHILE. so I didnt "like" her and i continued not to, for a long time, because she was just "the dubiously evil leader of the forsaken" to me. then the whole thing with her becoming warchief happened. watching her when voljin died made me think Aww... She Seemed Sad And Not Ready For This and i hoped to see her get some cool emotional conflicts and redemption arc stuff where she went from only caring about her own people and revenge and she started to love the horde as a whole, but instead, she flipped and did a hitler on it. i thought it was cute when she had that like. SINGLE romantic scene with nathanos because finally we saw an Emotion besides Murderer-Feeling. then they kept pulling this OoOOoH Is She Being Manipulated By Dark Forces? But Who Is The Dark Force? mystery bullshit that just seemed to go on forever--because it DID, for multiple expansions. you cant have your entire explanation of someones actions just be ~mysterious dark forces~ that long and think anyones gonna give a shit about her, can you?? then suddenly she's ripping holes into hell and the whole time its just vague, unexplained Evilness and then, oh, it was mega-satan controlling her--or is she betraying the mega devil?! oh no she's even more evil than satan, or is she good now? why? WHO KNOWS, AND WHO CARES BY THIS POINT!

and dont even start about thrall's growth and stuff because i absolutely did not feel a thing for that guy the whole time lmao

anyways youd prob say Well, Sylvanas Is A Bad Choice For This Example but the reason I chose her is bc she's the only main NPC I can think of that I ever KINDA connected to. because the game never really showed me... idk. motives. they would pull big plot twists and then fill in the blanks later with unconvincing bullshit instead of giving us behaviors based on specific morals and beliefs and drives that theyve presented in a character overall, where a plot twist can happen and we go "ohh, yeah, I get why they would decide to do that even though I didnt expect it". when they occasionally did manage to write a character i started to like, it would just be for a specific one-off questline, or just a quick Aww He Died moment briefly after introduction instead of Just Doing It With All Relevant Characters So I Actually Give A Fuck About What's Going On A Little Bit

anyways i finally lost this train of thought, if u read this all bravo and also That's Sad please spend your time doing better things lmao

[trans-luis-serra-navarro]

IM FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO RESPONDING TO THIS RUUUUAAAARRRGGHHHHH‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

THAT FIRST LINE YESYESYESYESYES YOU HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK W IT BUT YOURE SO UNBELIEVEBLY RIGHT!!!!!!!!! He has this suave ‘gay or European?’ chivalric persona he puts up around Leon and Ada to some extent but I imagine that’s probably a survival tool!!!!!!!!! He was an immigrant poc kid in a completely new world and his only reference for a heroic figure was Don Quixote, of COURSE he’s gonna embody that and continue to through the course of his life!!!!!!!! And that’s not to say it’s a COMPLETE facade- he IS genuinely friendly and a well meaning person!!!!! We all saw how gentle he was with Ashley and how considerate he is with Leon and Ada he SO GENUINELY CARES ABOUT THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM!!!!!!!!!! He’s holding up this suave persona for not just himself because it’s the one thing in life he can control but so others have a beacon of chivalric hope to cling onto too!!!!!!!!

@anininas and I were talking about this the other day too but I would K I L L to see what luis is like in private when nobody is watching him!!!!!!!!!! Does he STILL pretend to be a knight because that’s literally all he has in life he can control and cling onto????????? Or does the guilt overwhelm him so much he breaks down constantly???????? I WANNA ONOW CAPCOM IM SHAKING YOU (plus he SURELY KNEW he wasn’t gonna make it out of Valdelobos on SOME LEVEL so can you IMAGIME him mentally preparing himself and praying that he can do enough for the people around him??????? PLEASE CAPCOM PLEASE-)

YEYEYEYYEYEEYE I think it’s pretty implied to be canon with Los Illuminados at least that he had no choice but to work for them and watch his friends and family be tortured!!!!!!!!! He was probably blackmailed into being their scientist- I mean hell we SAW him get put in a prison and nearly get tortured!!!!!! And with Umbrella- I HIGHLY DOUBT a kid coming from the middle of nowhere would know abt umbrellas evildoings!!!!!! I can only imagine Luis probably wanted and GOT a place where he can feel welcomed, feel like he belongs, feel like he has a family- AND be making a name for himself and climbing out of that very narrow upbringing!!!!!!!!!!

AND ABBWGWENEHENUENEUDNSHDNSJSNSJDMSKS YOU SAID IT SO PERFECTLY IM SHAKING YOU SO VIOLENTLY!!!!!!!!!!! He cant control the past he can’t control the tragedy that follows him wherever he goes he can’t (in that moment) stop the cycle of pain and death and he can’t control the mistakes he’s made- but he CAN take control back of how people perceive him!!!!!! And I think it’s EXTRA DEVASTATING to imagine him being so scared to tell Leon about everything cuz Leon is the only person whose truly looked past that persona and loved I’m for who he is!!!!!!!

AGAIN!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHAKING YOU BITING YOUR HEAD OFF!!!!!!!!! YEAH PART PF IT IS A PERSONA HES BUILT BUT THATS NOT A BAD THING!!!! ALL HUMANS ATE THE SUM OF OUR PARTS!!!!!!!!!!! HE I S A GENUIENLY H CHIVALRIC AND KNIGHTLY PERSON HE D O E S CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM HE CARES ENOUGH TK CHANGE AND TO LOVE A STRANGER (wow that sounded catholic BDNEHENSHSN) BUT YOU GET THE IDEA

IGH YES. When he finally decides to break that cycle- when he finally decides to take control of his life and do something unabashedly GOOD- it costs him his life. Cuz like you said. What’s he got to loose? In his mind he’s practically unforgivable. The world isn’t gonna remember him and he’s gonna be buried underneath the grave of his grandfather.

But again. He has LEON.

Leon- the only guy whose ever seen past him and given him a second chance!!!!!! A chance to change and be loved!!!!!!!!!! He gave him the opportunity to go on his own quixotic adventure and he’s everything Luis wants to see himself as!!!!!!!!! Leon, Ashley and Ada are, to him, his last chance to make it up to SOMEBODY and show that HE CAN CHANGE HE I S WORTHY OF LOVE- he’d be DAMNED if Leon died while he was still alive!!!!!

AND WUAGH DONT MAKE ME THINK AGOUT THE FACT THAT HELL NEVER KNOW IF ASHLEY AND LEON AND ADA EVER DID MAKE IT OUT OF VALDELOBOS PR IF THEY DIED LIKE HIM TOO DONT MAKE ME THINK ABT THR FACT THAT THE LAST THING HE ASKED IS IF PEOPLE CAN CHANGE CUZ HE WANTS ONE LAST CONFORMATIOM ARGH-

ALSO???? The fact that he’s probably under the impression that HES the reason Krauser was lured to Leon????????? THATS SO AHSBWHENEHENEJDDHENEJSNSNSN

Also kinda on topic with this whole discussion of his persona. It’s SO FUNNY to me that he goes out of the way and makes an effort to say ‘such a loss to the ladies of he world, eh?’ Cuz like. Goddamnit you beautiful idiot. Trying to make a humorous joke with your dying breath so the man you love doesn’t worry about you?????? Trying to hold onto SOME semblance of normality????????? I’m cursing you forever and ever

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM STAB ME IN THE BACK WHILE YOURE AT IT. HES LITERALLY BLEEDING OUT AND ACTUBELY DYING BUT HE STILL MAKES THAT SHOT. HE STILL MAKES THAT SHOT CUZ HES SO DESPERATE AND DETERMINED TO SHOW HE CAN CHANGE. TO SHOW HES WORTHY OF BEING LOVED. HE WPULD DO ANUTHING TO EVEN GET A GLIMMER OF THAT OPPORTUNITY AND HED FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL FOR IT CUZ LIKE YOU SAID HES LEAD A PRETTY SHITTY LIFE

M M M M M M M M

IMAGINING LUIS BURNING HIMSELD OVER AND OVER AGAIN LEARNING HOW TO HANDLE SOMETJIMG THATLL SLOWLY DESTROY HIM????? TO THE POINT WHERE IT BECOMES AS EASY AS BREATHING??????????? HEY HEY DANTE WHAT IF I STRANGLED YOOOOOUUUUU-

I obviously have never smoked but ARGH YOUR WORDS ARE SO RIGHT THEYRE SO PERFECT YOURE GONNA MAKE ME CRY????? ‘It probably gives him solace to have some control over the poison’ IM DUNKING YOU IN A VAT OF ACID. HE KNOWS THEYLL KILL HIM BUT LIKE,,;, IN HIS MIND WOULD THAT REALLY BE A BAD THING?????? MAYBE HE FEELS LIKE HE DESERVES THE ONLY THING THAT BRINGS HIM COMFORT TO SIMUTANIOUSLY BE SLOWLY KILLOMG HIM!!!!

AND ARGH! ARGH!!!!!! It’s a habit!!!!!!!!! It’s a vice!!!!!!!!!!!! Just like the rest of his life!!!!!!!! He keeps going back to it cuz that’s all he knows!!!!!!!!! He keeps running cuz that’s the best thing he knows how to do!!!!!! He goes back home cuz that’s what’s familiar to him!!!!!! And like you said BREAKING A CYCLE IS SO MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE!!!!!!!! AND ITS EXTRA DEVASTATING THAT THE CYCLE HE D O E S BREAK ENDS IN HIM DYING LIKE AHWNWHWNEHWNWJWNEJNDSJSNSJSNJSNSJWNSJSMSJSNEJENSJS AND HELL NEVER KNOW IF YHR PROPLE HE DIED FOR EVEN LEFT THE ISLAND

AGAIN.

LIKE YOU SAID.

THE FACT THAT HE CABT EVEN MUSTER UP THE ENERGY TO LIGHT HIS LIGHTER

A R G H -

Also I think it’s SO POIGNANT that the last thing he does is smoke before he dies. I recon there’s a million and one different ways to look at it but for the sake of this post it’s like. His mistakes will always catch up to him. He just needed a little bit more time- just one more day- one more week- to change and to break that cycle but it was too late. He’ll always find comfort in something he shouldn’t until he meets Leon- who lets him indulge in his cigarettes and quixotic fantasies one last time. Who assured to him that yeah. He has changed.

i am so sleepy right now but i was thinking abt Luis.

And yknow. every once in a while i think about this in horknee context bc this lil skill is just wildly attractive but also i think about how, when Luis spins that lighter so effortlessly, he never once drops it. and the movement is fluid, skilled and he just does it without second thought. Like its long practiced and its been a part of his life for a while. And its something i feel like he started learning to try and look cool.

But he couldnt even flick it open or so much as hold onto it during his final moments. How awful and pathetic must one feel in their final moments as they feel these small things slip away. Something that was once second nature and easy, done like a sort of unconscious stim, becomes impossible as you feel yourself slip away. The lighter tricks wouldve been a skill he'd have put time in to learn, and as small as it is it just shows how rapidly he declined and i cant imagine how deeply devastating that would feel as all that time slips away into something that never mattered as your efforts to be somebody, be who you wanted to be, also slip away. Also goes to show how much he really mustered EVERYTHING he had to save Leon with that gunshot. And

yeah that prolly didnt make sense

I'll prolly have more to say when i can hold a coherent thought but i am so tired

[slttygeto]

oh my goodness congrats on 900!!!!!!!!! u deserve all of it bc ur writing is godly 😭🙏🙏 i’d love to know ur thoughts on the jjk boys as college heartthrobs/players!

thank you so much pls!!!! you're so nice :((

and omg the way the whole college heartthrob/player thingy fits them so well? i mean satosugu are the perfect example of a college heartthrob tbh but i will go over them one by one.

nsfw warning!!

gojo satoru

do i even have to say anything

he's got the looks, the playful persona and a good way with his words

the only difference between him and geto is that gojo actually does a lot of one night stands. he's also very much okay with the idea of threesomes and sneaking to a room in the middle of a party with someone to makeout or fuck

of course condoms are always present, between him and suguru he's the one who carries them around with him all the time lol (joey moment)

always has a drink in hand

is always next to suguru

literally like a pair of shoes

geto suguru

love of my life

he's the chill one obviously but he's definitely a big flirt too

it's not that people dont pay attention to him but hes definitely more reserved which explains why gojo is more popular in parties

like i said in gojo's part, he doesn't do one night stands

he does them from time to time, probably when he's stressed or is just extremely bored but other than that, he wants a friends with benefits or someone that he knows will be ready to fuck when he goes over to their house

will definitely makeout with someone or go down on them in parties, doesn't ask for much in return. just winks at them and asks them to keep it a secret. their dirty little secret

gojo and geto's charms are both very different.

gojo feels like a disco ball at a party, very bright and likes to make everyone dance and have fun

geto is like that first smoke after a stressful day

toji fushiguro

oh definitely the one who girls beg for his attention even for one second lol

honestly he's definitely into one night stands and i feel like he even almost knocked up a few women here and there because they begged him to cum inside 😭

hes always given off dilf vibes and that's why he attracts the ones with daddy issues wheeeew self call out

toji would be that one guy in the party who's gulping down whisky like it's water and a girl is suddenly on his lap just making out with him cause she thought it was so hot

though i definitely see him as that one dude who cannot tolerate bullshit at a party. if he sees a guy being mildly disturbing to a couple of girls there, he will kick his ass

definitely started a fight before. i said what i said

nanami kento

only shows up to these parties because gojo begged him to come

another guy who's on the lowkey, he does have sex but he's not obsessed with it

no one around college sees him because he's always in the library reading something

he is very much aware of the fact that people swoon over him but he doesn't really get the hype

shouldn't you focus on getting yourself an actual partner instead of going for someone who's not emotionally available? ouch that hurt 😭

oh oh he definitely drinks. the only time he destresses is when he drinks.

he doesn't like hookups but he will definitely fuck your brains out over the sink if he's in the mood

god i love this man so much